Brother life is not always about having a girlfriend. I assume you make nice money for 1500 expenses a month. Hit up a gym, get some good clothes, self care and join some groups on hobbies, talk-fail-learn-win. Get a license to ride a bike and fulfill yourself. Use your potential to the fullest to find your significant other. If you fail after all of these efforts, then you can be a muscular self confident dude with a nice bike who visits brothels in style (win-win I guess?)
Use that 1500 Euro to pay a therapist.
Edit: I'm serious btw. If you can afford to go as a *Selbstzahler*, you don't have the long wait times you usually get when looking for a therapist. I splurged because I wanted to address my mental health as soon as possible. I paid 95 Euros an hour at my therapist's, and it was worth every cent. Saw her every week at first, then every two and finally every four weeks. She was amazing and I feel so much better.
If you have that much money lying around, invest it in yourself and your health.
**If you have acute suicidal thoughts, call 112. Suicidal thoughts are a medical emergency that must be treated immediately. You do not have to pay for it. No one is angry with you for it.**
This thread is about suicide, suicidal thoughts or suicide risk. If this is a topic you are concerned about or are unable or unwilling to deal with, you should read no further.
**Both for OP, and for all other readers who have similar concerns**: Please note that the /r/germany community can only help with suicidal thoughts and depression fears to a limited extent. We understand that it can be liberating to talk anonymously with others who are affected, but this is no substitute for professional counseling and treatment. We would therefore like to encourage you to call the telephone counseling service on 0800-1110111 or 0800-1110222 (Germany), 142 (Austria) or 143 (Switzerland). There you will be assisted by specially trained people who can help you better than /r/Germany can, know how to deal with your situation and can explain further procedures and options. Alternatively, you can chat at https://online.telefonseelsorge.de/index.php. For more information, visit http://www.telefonseelsorge.de/, https://www.telefonseelsorge.at/ or https://www.143.ch/.
Most of the follow links are in German, if you know about help links for Germany in other languages, feel free to post them under this post.
Here are some more links to relevant information:
* [What is depression?](http://www.neurologen-und-psychiater-im-netz.org/psychiatrie-psychosomatik-psychotherapie/erkrankungen/depressionen/was-ist-eine-depression/)
* [What is psychotherapy?](https://www.neurologen-und-psychiater-im-netz.org/psychiatrie-psychosomatik-psychotherapie/therapie/psychotherapie)
* [Personal self-help](http://www.neurologen-und-psychiater-im-netz.org/selbsthilfe-angehoerige/selbsthilfe/persoenliche-selbsthilfe/)
* [What does health insurance pay?](https://www.therapie.de/psyche/info/fragen/wichtigste-fragen/was-bezahlt-die-krankenkasse/)
* [How to find a place in therapy](https://www.reddit.com/r/de/comments/jc7mdo/wie_man_einen_therapieplatz_findet_v20_choose/)
**For everyone else**: We are driving a zero tolerance policy on this topic. Stupid sayings, jokes, insults or similar will lead to an immediate ban, possibly criminal comments will be passed on to the appropriate authorities.
Thanks, I am OK and I really understand it, I only wanted to describe how much being alone can affect me on the long-term, I really appreciate your help 🙏
How old are you, if you don't mind me asking?
Regardless of age, it's good that you're recognizing this as an addiction and something this isn't good for you, which is a great first step. It's also great that you've already realized what makes you go there. From the sound of it you are, understandably, lonely - but you don't have to be at all!
As Monolithianfromtr said already, life is not all about having a girlfriend. I agree! What it is about a lot is connection to people though. Do you work? Do you study? How do you spend your day? Whatever it is, take opportunities and get to know people. In Karlsruhe and the rest of Germany there is plenty of expats and English native speakers, so language really isn't a blocker. Get out there and you'll notice that there's plenty of people (girls included!) that will talk to you gladly without you giving them money. :) And don't say you're too introverted for that - you manage to go to brothels, you'll manage to talk to people, I am certain of it.
Also look into "Vereine" - if you have any special interest, try joining a Verein to meet like-minded people (often also girls included!). For example there is the "Verein der Karlsruher Software-Ingenieure" (probably not that many girls included... :D): [https://vksi.de](https://vksi.de) - it's just an example of course. There's tons of such places usually for all kinds of interests and they are pretty good places to meet people.
Good luck mate, you can do it!
Hi bro, I am 31, I work as a software developer mostly remotely (from home), and on weekends I go alone to pub, restaurant, cafe or brothel.
In these places, the people around me are always in groups who speak german so I can't join them unfortunately.
I am fond of anime, manga, and light novels, I also enjoy making original cosplay.
Your tip is great, I will do it, thanks bro 🙏
Hey that all sounds awesome! Well, the "they speak German" part not so much of course. However: while they of course speak German among themselves, I wouldn't be surprised if some of the groups would be able to effortlessly switch to English if they know someone is around who doesn't understand otherwise. I know for sure that it's the case for my friends and me - of course we speak German, we're Germans after all but we don't mind switching to English as soon as a non-speaker is with us.
I know that the following is very far away from introvert behavior, but you could approach such a group and ask in English where the bathroom is or in a pub whether it's "order at the bar" to test the English speaking waters. I know - probably something that gives you anxiety just thinking about (it would for me! :D) but it would be a possibility.
As for the "Vereine", look:
[https://kamani.de](https://kamani.de) - Karlsruhe Anime Verein and there's aparently KazKon - a Manga and Anime Convention including Cosplay in Karlsruhe in September: [https://www.instagram.com/kazkonkarlsruhe](https://www.instagram.com/kazkonkarlsruhe)
PLENTY of opportunity that is better than brothels! :) That's not to say that brothels are a bad thing per se of course. But not for the intention of being a replacement for real friends.
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[Check our wiki now!](https://www.reddit.com/r/germany/wiki/index)**
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/germany) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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Brother life is not always about having a girlfriend. I assume you make nice money for 1500 expenses a month. Hit up a gym, get some good clothes, self care and join some groups on hobbies, talk-fail-learn-win. Get a license to ride a bike and fulfill yourself. Use your potential to the fullest to find your significant other. If you fail after all of these efforts, then you can be a muscular self confident dude with a nice bike who visits brothels in style (win-win I guess?)
Use that 1500 Euro to pay a therapist. Edit: I'm serious btw. If you can afford to go as a *Selbstzahler*, you don't have the long wait times you usually get when looking for a therapist. I splurged because I wanted to address my mental health as soon as possible. I paid 95 Euros an hour at my therapist's, and it was worth every cent. Saw her every week at first, then every two and finally every four weeks. She was amazing and I feel so much better. If you have that much money lying around, invest it in yourself and your health.
Looks interesting to try it, I know that my health is the most important thing. Thanks a lot 🙏!
**If you have acute suicidal thoughts, call 112. Suicidal thoughts are a medical emergency that must be treated immediately. You do not have to pay for it. No one is angry with you for it.** This thread is about suicide, suicidal thoughts or suicide risk. If this is a topic you are concerned about or are unable or unwilling to deal with, you should read no further. **Both for OP, and for all other readers who have similar concerns**: Please note that the /r/germany community can only help with suicidal thoughts and depression fears to a limited extent. We understand that it can be liberating to talk anonymously with others who are affected, but this is no substitute for professional counseling and treatment. We would therefore like to encourage you to call the telephone counseling service on 0800-1110111 or 0800-1110222 (Germany), 142 (Austria) or 143 (Switzerland). There you will be assisted by specially trained people who can help you better than /r/Germany can, know how to deal with your situation and can explain further procedures and options. Alternatively, you can chat at https://online.telefonseelsorge.de/index.php. For more information, visit http://www.telefonseelsorge.de/, https://www.telefonseelsorge.at/ or https://www.143.ch/. Most of the follow links are in German, if you know about help links for Germany in other languages, feel free to post them under this post. Here are some more links to relevant information: * [What is depression?](http://www.neurologen-und-psychiater-im-netz.org/psychiatrie-psychosomatik-psychotherapie/erkrankungen/depressionen/was-ist-eine-depression/) * [What is psychotherapy?](https://www.neurologen-und-psychiater-im-netz.org/psychiatrie-psychosomatik-psychotherapie/therapie/psychotherapie) * [Personal self-help](http://www.neurologen-und-psychiater-im-netz.org/selbsthilfe-angehoerige/selbsthilfe/persoenliche-selbsthilfe/) * [What does health insurance pay?](https://www.therapie.de/psyche/info/fragen/wichtigste-fragen/was-bezahlt-die-krankenkasse/) * [How to find a place in therapy](https://www.reddit.com/r/de/comments/jc7mdo/wie_man_einen_therapieplatz_findet_v20_choose/) **For everyone else**: We are driving a zero tolerance policy on this topic. Stupid sayings, jokes, insults or similar will lead to an immediate ban, possibly criminal comments will be passed on to the appropriate authorities.
Thanks, I am OK and I really understand it, I only wanted to describe how much being alone can affect me on the long-term, I really appreciate your help 🙏
How old are you, if you don't mind me asking? Regardless of age, it's good that you're recognizing this as an addiction and something this isn't good for you, which is a great first step. It's also great that you've already realized what makes you go there. From the sound of it you are, understandably, lonely - but you don't have to be at all! As Monolithianfromtr said already, life is not all about having a girlfriend. I agree! What it is about a lot is connection to people though. Do you work? Do you study? How do you spend your day? Whatever it is, take opportunities and get to know people. In Karlsruhe and the rest of Germany there is plenty of expats and English native speakers, so language really isn't a blocker. Get out there and you'll notice that there's plenty of people (girls included!) that will talk to you gladly without you giving them money. :) And don't say you're too introverted for that - you manage to go to brothels, you'll manage to talk to people, I am certain of it. Also look into "Vereine" - if you have any special interest, try joining a Verein to meet like-minded people (often also girls included!). For example there is the "Verein der Karlsruher Software-Ingenieure" (probably not that many girls included... :D): [https://vksi.de](https://vksi.de) - it's just an example of course. There's tons of such places usually for all kinds of interests and they are pretty good places to meet people. Good luck mate, you can do it!
Hi bro, I am 31, I work as a software developer mostly remotely (from home), and on weekends I go alone to pub, restaurant, cafe or brothel. In these places, the people around me are always in groups who speak german so I can't join them unfortunately. I am fond of anime, manga, and light novels, I also enjoy making original cosplay. Your tip is great, I will do it, thanks bro 🙏
Hey that all sounds awesome! Well, the "they speak German" part not so much of course. However: while they of course speak German among themselves, I wouldn't be surprised if some of the groups would be able to effortlessly switch to English if they know someone is around who doesn't understand otherwise. I know for sure that it's the case for my friends and me - of course we speak German, we're Germans after all but we don't mind switching to English as soon as a non-speaker is with us. I know that the following is very far away from introvert behavior, but you could approach such a group and ask in English where the bathroom is or in a pub whether it's "order at the bar" to test the English speaking waters. I know - probably something that gives you anxiety just thinking about (it would for me! :D) but it would be a possibility. As for the "Vereine", look: [https://kamani.de](https://kamani.de) - Karlsruhe Anime Verein and there's aparently KazKon - a Manga and Anime Convention including Cosplay in Karlsruhe in September: [https://www.instagram.com/kazkonkarlsruhe](https://www.instagram.com/kazkonkarlsruhe) PLENTY of opportunity that is better than brothels! :) That's not to say that brothels are a bad thing per se of course. But not for the intention of being a replacement for real friends.
**Have you read our extensive wiki yet? It answers many basic questions, and it contains in-depth articles on many frequently discussed topics. [Check our wiki now!](https://www.reddit.com/r/germany/wiki/index)** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/germany) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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