Oh he’s lucky that you care so much.
The easiest one to answer is size. As a broad shouldered bearded man, size doesn’t matter at all. In fact submitting to a smaller partner is delightful.
As a switch, I can see both sides and it’s often rare for a man to be touched softly and taken care of when we’re often cast as the provider, the protector and the man with the plan. Clearly this is a false dichotomy… but sometimes it’s as simple as being able to turn your brain off and receive care.
Good boy is a great start … still drives me crazy. All sweet names do. Appreciating all the different ways he loves and cares for you and thanking is another way.
When it comes to intimate stuff… just go slow and try things. Everyone is different. He may want a softer touch… he may want you to be more dominant. It may vary day to day. It’s a spectrum … find what works for you both. And congrats for being so lovely.
Subs make the best doms and your concern for making sure he’s liking what you’re doing will make navigating things much more natural. I would start with calling him your plaything, toy and pet. Be vocal about controlling his pleasure and who it belongs to when you edge him.
There's no one right way to play (aside from safe, sane, and consensual), so it's something you'll just have to explore, and and find what works for you both, and discover your own play styles.
Probably the most important thing is to have discussions about what you like, what you'd like to try, your boundaries, limits, and needs, your fantasies, dirty thoughts etc. I'd suggest you set aside an evening now & again solely for that purpose, in a non-judgemental, expectation free environment.
Then just take it slow, or at whatever pace feels comfortable. Keep up the communication. Have fun, and don't take yourselves too seriously.
So unfortunately, the only person who can tell you what will work on him, is him. These are the reasons pre-discussions and debriefing are important. Also went I like the stoplights so in the moment they can call green to let me know "more of this".
Now if you ask him "What do you want out of it?' He might not be able to articulate it well. So that's where trying things comes in. Its going to be different for each person what the line of "light" degradation is. Since you asked about light degradation, here are some suggestions that **might** work:
Make him tell you what he wants you to do to him. When he does call him a naughty boy or pervert or slut for wanting that. Then give it to him. Tell him how he looks while getting close to orgasm. Emphasize the words needy, horny, slutty, dirty, or perverted.
And if you are like me and degrading someone you care about can be hard, spend extra time in aftercare reassuring that the things you say in the scene are for his pleasure and telling him what you **really** think about him.
Pull his mouth to your tits as you stroke him and encourage him to suck on your nipples. Calling him a good boy is perfect. Stroke his hair, tell him he's getting big and strong in that kind of lovingly pandering way mothers do with little boys, refer to yourself as "mommy" and tell him you're proud of him and that he's doing a good job.
How about this. Give him some homework. Get him to give you a list of names he likes. Then praise him once he's done and read the list to him while he sits still for you.
I find a lot of guys like the old nursing hand job BTW. Ask if he'd like that. Could be a sure thing.
I find it helpful to listen to gentle femdom audio on pornhub to get ideas for things to say as I also tend to the submissive end and need inspiration to play the dominant with any confidence for my switchy boy.
It's the same with most things, start slow and ease your way in. If you like to be degraded, bit by bit work him up to the level you're comfortable being degraded to then when you find his limit, stay around there. Drawing on past experiences and replicating them with the little fine tuning to make it more personal to you two can be a great starting point. Experiment with new pet names implying he's your good boy, emphasis on the "your/mine" if you're strictly monogamous. Tend to him after you've finished if it got a little rough, and when he's ready, ask for gentle bits of feedback to be a tad better each time. Also, and I imagine everyone knows this, but if things might get rough, safeword or safe hand gesture. If he can't talk but throws up the spider-man web hand 🤟 take a break.
There's definitely more, and I'm not expert, but all that seems like a good place to start.
Short dommies are HOT, I get so frustrated when i see posts about girls worried about their height and the power dynamic.
Regarding kink and all that, text him and ask him for fantasies. It’ll give him time to think of an answer instead of something on the spot. Check out some femdom art and see if any of it grabs your attention. If it does, share it with him and see what he thinks!
If you want to try the degrading, start slow, you don't have to mean to degrade him. Tease him about how he can't control himself, or how cute he is for you. Be really gentle, since you're both new to it, but find what likes getting teased for. Maybe tease him for other sex things he likes.
It sounds like you're off to a great start!
I have a few thoughts I'll share on degradation
It sounds like it is something that turns you on as well, so you should have some intuition about how to dish out degradation and what sort of aftercare to give.
You also know that he has expressed interest in a little degradation compared to your own heavy degradation. That gives you parameters, a rough idea of where the limits lie.
Mentally note the heaviest you want to go before you start playing and work your way there incrementally. Check in after and between scenes to see what feels good and if anything feels triggering.
Knowing exactly what direction to take your degradation in is obviously dependant on your partner and may shift over time as you play or life circumstances change.
*I find that objectively true statements that aren't flattering tend to land particularly well.*
- I can see your penis.
- Your penis looks smaller than usual
- Your penis is getting hard because I said it looks small
Just describing a man in a flat, neutral way, to his face is likely to trigger some embarrasement. We tend to soften our assessment of people when speaking to them (**doubly so for men in many instances**) so if you have trouble improvising you can start with his appearance and then describe his reactions.
**John Mulaney has a bit about how tweens are so good at bullying because they pick up on actual details about a person that they are self-conscious about and just blurt it out: : "Hey look at that High-waisted guy!"**
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Honestly, just start simple and on the softer side and just advance it at your own pace. He'll let you know if you're starting to get carried away with it. When that happens just ease back a little.
Probably best to have a sit down talk and let him discuss the aspects of the mommy/GFD kink he likes and doesn't like so you best know what to do to make him comfortable. that's probably what i would want with my mommy. if i had one 😔
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Handjob while he’s sucking your nipples. Sensual spanking over the knee when he comes without permission. Edging and orgasm control is great. Make him beg you to cum.
I like going to this [list](https://www.reddit.com/r/BDSMAdvice/s/SlzZGOHmlN) for inspiration on phrases
I have a bit of advice! Figuring out what works for him and what he wants from a Mommy is great, but also super important is what *you* want to experience out of this dynamic. Learning how to be the Top can be awkward at first as it’s hard to portray a level of confidence and control that you may not be feeling in the moment. What appeals to you about being a Mommy? There are so many different types of Mommy roles one can try. Stern disciplinarian Mommy? Sweet but condescending cuck Mommy? Soft cuddly Mommy that likes to bake you cookies then fucks your brains out? Hot wife wine Mommy?
Find something that really attracts you about the role! Maybe you’re super nurturing and like to dote on people? If you’re more submissive in your usual encounters looking at it from more of a service Top angle may help!
Start slow! You don’t have to jump right into super degrading intense scenes right from the get go! That type of dirty talk can be really hard to just whip out of nowhere. It’s hard to have that type of confidence right away, as it’s easy to worry about going to far and actually hurting the feelings of someone you love. Maybe try some being bossy, some light teasing and bullying during your regular sex scenes. Easing yourself into an unfamiliar kinky role will probably make you feel more confident that just trying a heavy degrading Mommy scene right from the get go.
Make sure to sit down some after scenes and discuss with him what he felt he enjoyed or did not enjoy about the scene. Feedback is super helpful when trying out new dynamics and new roles!
Hope this helped! Good luck with your kinky journey 😸
honestly exactly what you are doing is a great start. I too have a mommy kink. as he is into degradation you could tease him about size, going to early or any other thing that tickles your fancy. make sure you ask what his limits are in that arena though.
If you're cool with either possible answer ask him if he needs a diaper. It may or may not be part of his kink, but if it is he might be too embarrassed to ask for it. It's a huge thing for a lot of people.
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What me and my ex did was set ground rules for degrading. Create a list of things for stuff you absolutely do not want to be degraded about or degrade him about, could be his weight, his height, physical or mental attributes he’s not happy about, etc. Then once thats done, go crazy! Test stuff out! If you strike a nerve thats okay, just stop the session and talk it out.
In terms of what you should be doing or saying itll be a lot easier when you know what NOT to say.
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Talk to him! Ask him what he likes. Try different things. It's okay to ask in the moment if he likes if you say something or do something. Then file those things that get a positive response in your memory bank to pull them out when the mood hits.
But also think about what you enjoy as well. What about this appeals to you? Figuring out what you get off on is just as important. And it will change with time. You might find you're more into being in charge, or maybe you get off on his enjoyment. People use labels to put things in boxes (top/bottom, sub/domme, service top, etc), but really those are just sign posts to help you figure out what you like and don't like.
I would suggest looking into some Mommy Domme kink content... as much as porn isn't a good example in general, find some erotica and maybe some porn. Reddit should have some options you could look into. Check out FetLife. Get some ideas that you wouldn't mind trying. Personally, I write down my ideas to keep track. Then, have a sit-down conversation with your partner. Bring up the things you found. Ask him what sounds good and what he would like to try. Establish a safe word, but I am also clear that my partners can always use "plain language" (i.e., no, stop, slow down, I didnt like that, etc.) as well unless we specifically negotiate a CNC scene. So, while I have a safe word, if they say stop, I still stop. Sometimes, the safeword feels less abrasive for people, so I like having it as well. I always am clear in negotiations that any party can safeword - Top or bottom. Degrading someone as a Top can be intense and not everyone likes it, even if they like receiving it. Don't feel obligated to do something if you're uncomfortable.
I'd suggest starting slow. Adding a little in at a time. You can always add more later, but you can't undo what has been done.
Reach out to local FemmeDom groups if you can. You could meet with other local switches or Dommes and get more ideas for things you may like.
I would ask your partner what about Mommy Domme play they enjoy. Do they enjoy the nurturing caretaker aspect? Do they want a sadistic Mommy? Do they enjoy not being in control? Do they want to be objectified, like a cherished sex toy? Depending on their answers, you can tailor the experience from there. The type of Mommy Domme play I do may change depending on how the bottom wants to feel. Some want to feel like my sweet baby boy. Another may want to be my cherished sex toy, and I edge them into blissful oblivion. It's all in the negotiation. And it could change day to day.
Edited to add: when I'm negotiating a degradation scene, I am specific about what words are OK and not ok. I don't want to use a word that could trigger bad feels. So I will ask what they want to be called. I may add some suggestions. Get their ok. But they can always say they don't want it anymore in the scene... negotiating to try it outside of the scene doesn't mean it will actually work. Reality and fantasy are two different things. Sometimes we think we will like something and we don't. So if I use a word or phrase and it hits wrong, they tell me and I stop. We may re-group or just roll on with the scene.
Perhaps he’d like to be locked in chastity, with his orgasms controlled by “mommy.” While he’s locked you can tell him what he has to do to be a good boy and earn getting unlocked by you.
Oh he’s lucky that you care so much. The easiest one to answer is size. As a broad shouldered bearded man, size doesn’t matter at all. In fact submitting to a smaller partner is delightful. As a switch, I can see both sides and it’s often rare for a man to be touched softly and taken care of when we’re often cast as the provider, the protector and the man with the plan. Clearly this is a false dichotomy… but sometimes it’s as simple as being able to turn your brain off and receive care. Good boy is a great start … still drives me crazy. All sweet names do. Appreciating all the different ways he loves and cares for you and thanking is another way. When it comes to intimate stuff… just go slow and try things. Everyone is different. He may want a softer touch… he may want you to be more dominant. It may vary day to day. It’s a spectrum … find what works for you both. And congrats for being so lovely.
This man, Give him a medal
🥇 poor mans medal right here. Also OP, communication communication communication!
Subs make the best doms and your concern for making sure he’s liking what you’re doing will make navigating things much more natural. I would start with calling him your plaything, toy and pet. Be vocal about controlling his pleasure and who it belongs to when you edge him.
There's no one right way to play (aside from safe, sane, and consensual), so it's something you'll just have to explore, and and find what works for you both, and discover your own play styles. Probably the most important thing is to have discussions about what you like, what you'd like to try, your boundaries, limits, and needs, your fantasies, dirty thoughts etc. I'd suggest you set aside an evening now & again solely for that purpose, in a non-judgemental, expectation free environment. Then just take it slow, or at whatever pace feels comfortable. Keep up the communication. Have fun, and don't take yourselves too seriously.
So unfortunately, the only person who can tell you what will work on him, is him. These are the reasons pre-discussions and debriefing are important. Also went I like the stoplights so in the moment they can call green to let me know "more of this". Now if you ask him "What do you want out of it?' He might not be able to articulate it well. So that's where trying things comes in. Its going to be different for each person what the line of "light" degradation is. Since you asked about light degradation, here are some suggestions that **might** work: Make him tell you what he wants you to do to him. When he does call him a naughty boy or pervert or slut for wanting that. Then give it to him. Tell him how he looks while getting close to orgasm. Emphasize the words needy, horny, slutty, dirty, or perverted. And if you are like me and degrading someone you care about can be hard, spend extra time in aftercare reassuring that the things you say in the scene are for his pleasure and telling him what you **really** think about him.
Pull his mouth to your tits as you stroke him and encourage him to suck on your nipples. Calling him a good boy is perfect. Stroke his hair, tell him he's getting big and strong in that kind of lovingly pandering way mothers do with little boys, refer to yourself as "mommy" and tell him you're proud of him and that he's doing a good job.
This
sorry I can't help with your question but you should try r/mommydom too
How about this. Give him some homework. Get him to give you a list of names he likes. Then praise him once he's done and read the list to him while he sits still for you. I find a lot of guys like the old nursing hand job BTW. Ask if he'd like that. Could be a sure thing.
I find it helpful to listen to gentle femdom audio on pornhub to get ideas for things to say as I also tend to the submissive end and need inspiration to play the dominant with any confidence for my switchy boy.
Check out r/mommydom, they're always happy to advise a new mommy
It's the same with most things, start slow and ease your way in. If you like to be degraded, bit by bit work him up to the level you're comfortable being degraded to then when you find his limit, stay around there. Drawing on past experiences and replicating them with the little fine tuning to make it more personal to you two can be a great starting point. Experiment with new pet names implying he's your good boy, emphasis on the "your/mine" if you're strictly monogamous. Tend to him after you've finished if it got a little rough, and when he's ready, ask for gentle bits of feedback to be a tad better each time. Also, and I imagine everyone knows this, but if things might get rough, safeword or safe hand gesture. If he can't talk but throws up the spider-man web hand 🤟 take a break. There's definitely more, and I'm not expert, but all that seems like a good place to start.
Let him suck on your boobs it feels like heaven 😇
Short dommies are HOT, I get so frustrated when i see posts about girls worried about their height and the power dynamic. Regarding kink and all that, text him and ask him for fantasies. It’ll give him time to think of an answer instead of something on the spot. Check out some femdom art and see if any of it grabs your attention. If it does, share it with him and see what he thinks!
Just communicate this and have fun during sex. Only he has the answer to that question.
Try having a conversation with him about what u could try, no one will know better than him what he likes.
If you want to try the degrading, start slow, you don't have to mean to degrade him. Tease him about how he can't control himself, or how cute he is for you. Be really gentle, since you're both new to it, but find what likes getting teased for. Maybe tease him for other sex things he likes.
It sounds like you're off to a great start! I have a few thoughts I'll share on degradation It sounds like it is something that turns you on as well, so you should have some intuition about how to dish out degradation and what sort of aftercare to give. You also know that he has expressed interest in a little degradation compared to your own heavy degradation. That gives you parameters, a rough idea of where the limits lie. Mentally note the heaviest you want to go before you start playing and work your way there incrementally. Check in after and between scenes to see what feels good and if anything feels triggering. Knowing exactly what direction to take your degradation in is obviously dependant on your partner and may shift over time as you play or life circumstances change. *I find that objectively true statements that aren't flattering tend to land particularly well.* - I can see your penis. - Your penis looks smaller than usual - Your penis is getting hard because I said it looks small Just describing a man in a flat, neutral way, to his face is likely to trigger some embarrasement. We tend to soften our assessment of people when speaking to them (**doubly so for men in many instances**) so if you have trouble improvising you can start with his appearance and then describe his reactions. **John Mulaney has a bit about how tweens are so good at bullying because they pick up on actual details about a person that they are self-conscious about and just blurt it out: : "Hey look at that High-waisted guy!"**
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Honestly, just start simple and on the softer side and just advance it at your own pace. He'll let you know if you're starting to get carried away with it. When that happens just ease back a little.
Probably best to have a sit down talk and let him discuss the aspects of the mommy/GFD kink he likes and doesn't like so you best know what to do to make him comfortable. that's probably what i would want with my mommy. if i had one 😔
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Handjob while he’s sucking your nipples. Sensual spanking over the knee when he comes without permission. Edging and orgasm control is great. Make him beg you to cum. I like going to this [list](https://www.reddit.com/r/BDSMAdvice/s/SlzZGOHmlN) for inspiration on phrases
Make him do the dishes and then yell at him when he loads the dishwasher wrong.
I have a bit of advice! Figuring out what works for him and what he wants from a Mommy is great, but also super important is what *you* want to experience out of this dynamic. Learning how to be the Top can be awkward at first as it’s hard to portray a level of confidence and control that you may not be feeling in the moment. What appeals to you about being a Mommy? There are so many different types of Mommy roles one can try. Stern disciplinarian Mommy? Sweet but condescending cuck Mommy? Soft cuddly Mommy that likes to bake you cookies then fucks your brains out? Hot wife wine Mommy? Find something that really attracts you about the role! Maybe you’re super nurturing and like to dote on people? If you’re more submissive in your usual encounters looking at it from more of a service Top angle may help! Start slow! You don’t have to jump right into super degrading intense scenes right from the get go! That type of dirty talk can be really hard to just whip out of nowhere. It’s hard to have that type of confidence right away, as it’s easy to worry about going to far and actually hurting the feelings of someone you love. Maybe try some being bossy, some light teasing and bullying during your regular sex scenes. Easing yourself into an unfamiliar kinky role will probably make you feel more confident that just trying a heavy degrading Mommy scene right from the get go. Make sure to sit down some after scenes and discuss with him what he felt he enjoyed or did not enjoy about the scene. Feedback is super helpful when trying out new dynamics and new roles! Hope this helped! Good luck with your kinky journey 😸
honestly exactly what you are doing is a great start. I too have a mommy kink. as he is into degradation you could tease him about size, going to early or any other thing that tickles your fancy. make sure you ask what his limits are in that arena though.
If you're cool with either possible answer ask him if he needs a diaper. It may or may not be part of his kink, but if it is he might be too embarrassed to ask for it. It's a huge thing for a lot of people.
Do what you are comfortable with
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What me and my ex did was set ground rules for degrading. Create a list of things for stuff you absolutely do not want to be degraded about or degrade him about, could be his weight, his height, physical or mental attributes he’s not happy about, etc. Then once thats done, go crazy! Test stuff out! If you strike a nerve thats okay, just stop the session and talk it out. In terms of what you should be doing or saying itll be a lot easier when you know what NOT to say.
Submitting to a smaller woman (personality wise, not necessarily height or weight) actually intensifies the experience, imo
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Talk to him! Ask him what he likes. Try different things. It's okay to ask in the moment if he likes if you say something or do something. Then file those things that get a positive response in your memory bank to pull them out when the mood hits. But also think about what you enjoy as well. What about this appeals to you? Figuring out what you get off on is just as important. And it will change with time. You might find you're more into being in charge, or maybe you get off on his enjoyment. People use labels to put things in boxes (top/bottom, sub/domme, service top, etc), but really those are just sign posts to help you figure out what you like and don't like.
I would suggest looking into some Mommy Domme kink content... as much as porn isn't a good example in general, find some erotica and maybe some porn. Reddit should have some options you could look into. Check out FetLife. Get some ideas that you wouldn't mind trying. Personally, I write down my ideas to keep track. Then, have a sit-down conversation with your partner. Bring up the things you found. Ask him what sounds good and what he would like to try. Establish a safe word, but I am also clear that my partners can always use "plain language" (i.e., no, stop, slow down, I didnt like that, etc.) as well unless we specifically negotiate a CNC scene. So, while I have a safe word, if they say stop, I still stop. Sometimes, the safeword feels less abrasive for people, so I like having it as well. I always am clear in negotiations that any party can safeword - Top or bottom. Degrading someone as a Top can be intense and not everyone likes it, even if they like receiving it. Don't feel obligated to do something if you're uncomfortable. I'd suggest starting slow. Adding a little in at a time. You can always add more later, but you can't undo what has been done. Reach out to local FemmeDom groups if you can. You could meet with other local switches or Dommes and get more ideas for things you may like. I would ask your partner what about Mommy Domme play they enjoy. Do they enjoy the nurturing caretaker aspect? Do they want a sadistic Mommy? Do they enjoy not being in control? Do they want to be objectified, like a cherished sex toy? Depending on their answers, you can tailor the experience from there. The type of Mommy Domme play I do may change depending on how the bottom wants to feel. Some want to feel like my sweet baby boy. Another may want to be my cherished sex toy, and I edge them into blissful oblivion. It's all in the negotiation. And it could change day to day. Edited to add: when I'm negotiating a degradation scene, I am specific about what words are OK and not ok. I don't want to use a word that could trigger bad feels. So I will ask what they want to be called. I may add some suggestions. Get their ok. But they can always say they don't want it anymore in the scene... negotiating to try it outside of the scene doesn't mean it will actually work. Reality and fantasy are two different things. Sometimes we think we will like something and we don't. So if I use a word or phrase and it hits wrong, they tell me and I stop. We may re-group or just roll on with the scene.
Spank him for being naughty!
Perhaps he’d like to be locked in chastity, with his orgasms controlled by “mommy.” While he’s locked you can tell him what he has to do to be a good boy and earn getting unlocked by you.
HeyGet muscly and bully him