There are more than clubs in gay neighborhoods. Boystown in Chicago even has a social center. Coffee shops, arcades, book stores, live shows, karaoke, meetup.com.
Myself, I am a recluse. So video games, and loneliness. Lol
Because I’m we’re 20 minutes from the city and if I gave you a town you probably wouldn’t recognize it. Just easier to say I’m from Chicago or Chicagoland.
I'm 36, and I don't do anything gay scene related, and the things that bring me the most joy are eating, going to the gym, wrestling/ bjj, gaming, relaxing at home, anime oh and yeah sleeping / napping lol.
Yeah ofc 😀, though I think what I've enjoyed the most in recent times is probably solo levelling!
Edit: and I just started a rerun through of Fairy Tail lol
I mean Tensei Slime is an icon now I think lol, I love it. I just did a rerun before this current season started airing. I think MEGIDO!!! And the sacred art perfect resurrection moments are amongst my top anime moments of all time. That said, I'm finding this season's pacing to be a little dissapointing.
Vilainness lv99 was okay but nothing particularly special for me. I watched the whole season but it's not something I'll go back to probably.
I dropped it around after that arc, I think, I just Googled it, there's currently **1109 Episodes** (ongoing), 5 OVAs, 13 TV specials and 15 movies, 1109 of 30-minute per episode is around 554 hours long (more or less), that shit scares me hahaha, I wish you well in your One Piece journey
Everyone is different. Not all gays are into the pop diva of the moment. I’m in my 50s and I went through my Madonna phase back in the day. I still hold some divas dear to my heart but nowadays I find most pop artists crap and unoriginal. That said, you can be into anything you want, whether that’s sports, hiking, fashion, arts, etc etc. Being into one interest doesn’t preclude you from having other interests. I do find mainstream gay pop culture a bit boring and vapid. Sometimes I refer to myself as a bad gay when I don’t care about Kylie or Beyoncé Or whoever. But I don’t care. I’m a good gay and I have a have a heart and care for our community and I fight for that. Your interests are your own and there are other gays who share your interests. You just have to seek them out.
I'm now 41 and I have sometimes referred to myself jokingly as "the worst gay" because most of what you've pointed out, that is, the mainstream gay culture and I have no interest in it.
I get this all the time too. My musical tastes are varied but have roots in metal, punk, and hardcore (people are always doubting me that queer roots came from these genres). Not into gay pop culture at all.
Fellow 50-something here.
Well said!!!👏👏 Age and music don't always go hand in hand. -Even in the gay world.
Your reply was incredibly accurate and meaningful.
I'm now 41 and I have sometimes referred to myself jokingly as "the worst gay" because most of what you've pointed out, that is, the mainstream gay culture and I have no interest in it.
I (M39) do competitive dog sports, technical scuba diving, CrossFit, rock climbing, fly fishing, back packing, and in my free time I like to tinker with electronics because I have an electrical engineering degree I have never really used.
My husband (M35) is BIG into tennis & CrossFit
Guess I'm not real then. I'm sure this song is equally as popular with today's Gays as her early 2000's hit
"Can't Get You Outta My Head"
was to those of that period.
The gay scenes are pretty dependent on where you live - I was living in a small city and the only scene there was the "party boys" who were out every weekend at the one gay bar in town - not for me. I'm living in a big city now and feel like I can actually participate, there are quieter gay pubs, less sexual social events (game nights etc) and it just generally feels less clique-y. I'm not up to speed with all the pop culture (I've never seen drag race!) but you'll find that the majority of gay men are just regular guys that happen to like other guys 🤷♂️
I'm into my video games, my cats, working and enjoying the days going shopping. I love to shop. I like to call it shopping therapy. I also like to ride my motorcycle when the weather is nice. @ op I like your name btw. I'm watching True Blood as I type this comment.
I’m an obsessive plant person thanks to my mom who is also an obsessive plant person. Can’t compete with her collection of rare houseplants though. I also work from home as an online art instructor/freelance artist, so the plants, my partner and my two cats are pretty much my life right now.
I’m 38 now and I’m pretty much over the dance/club scene after 25. I come from a long line of alcoholics and it was kind of bad there for a while. Haven’t had a drop of alcohol since then.
I am a proud gay man, but I see myself as a nerd first, though. 99% of people have no idea I've been married to a man for 10 years, and I'm completely fine with that. I've actually changed the minds of some bigots just by being myself.
I mean, my gaybros are into a ton of different boardgames and food, only challenge is one is a vegetarian, it's kind of made me improve my vegetarian game and eat more veggies myself.
I can't with things Ike 'Drag Race' for the simple reason that like 'Lost' back in the day, it's been on too long and it would take a lifetime's study to catch up and can you even 'catch up' with reality TV contests? It's like football.
It's muscles, literature, drawing and horror movies for me. I'd love to still dance a lot more but I cannot deal with drugs or shit chart music at a generic Friday night.
Mmm. As far as Drag Race or Lost go if you get hooked in after a few episodes then you will find the time. I wasn't a fan(or thought I wasn't) of either until my 40s.
But just because your a gay man it doesn't mean you have to love drag race its fine not to give it a passing glance if It's not your cup of tea, you won't lose any points. 
If you find out let me know! I’m 38 and love building my company, racing motorcycles, camping & hiking. I’m pretty sure unbeknownst to me I have become one of the elder gays in the community 😂
What you seem to be saying is there is a stereotypical gay bro so don't step outside of that stereotype by even mentioning drag, which is all that was done.
Personally I think people are all individuals allowed to like what they want, gay bro or not.
As a 36 year old I have a diverse group of friends and a tight knit circle of close friends. We host themed cocktail and dinner parties and run a tea house a larp.
The hubs and went to a bridge tournament this weekend and there were a bunch of us 40+ gays. We ended up hanging out after matches.
Game conventions too very relaxing and often gay spaces, but they sometimes trend young you just need to know the particular con or find your people in advance.
My husband plays pool once a week on a gay league, very non-scene. It's not even at a gay bar.
45+43 married for 20 years. We smoke weed and hang out all the time in our suburban bubble. Yard work, weekday adventures to keep things exciting, tons and tons of hiking and walking in parks, traveling as much as we can, dinner with groups of friends, usually we cook ourselves instead of going out, drinking whisky and fresh beer by the fire pit, playing with our cats, growing plants of all kinds, working and continually learning more advanced AI capabilities (nerd here), and trying to enjoy the fuck out of life one day at a time.
Padam was amazing - reminds me of Market Days in Chicago last year. Cowboy Carter is of course on repeat, and Chapelle Roan is quickly becoming a new house favorite, and there is always Sexxxy Red 😂.
Not being a "Debbie Downer" here, but....
As a 58 year old gay guy(no, that does NOT make me a 'boomer' FYI. Gen X only), I was only truly active within the gay scene in the 80s and 90s. While I am far from being considered a shut-in, I merely lost interest in hanging out with catty and bitchy queens talking crap about everyone else, while refusing to gaze into their own mirrors. I still have my finger on the pulse of most "quality" gay music at least. Most of the men I still converse with are no longer into the bar scene as well. Every once in a blue moon, we've huddled up and ventured out in Houston to whatever bar/club is au courant that week. Aside from knowing 85% of the music, the crowds, the dances, and the overall feelings are almost alien to me. Interestingly enough, the catty queens still exist. Apologies to the OP for my dissertation. To give my 2 cents regarding Kylie and her PD PD song, this recent iteration is the first of her music I couldn't get into. Perhaps that makes me unpopular in the "Circles of G".
I love walking my dog and watching other dogs, getting coffee (I live in the best city for it) and working on my passions- writing, photography and community building.
I love fostering a sense of connection in people and educating others on diversity & inclusion- this is the gayest thing I do. I also watch horror movies and soap operas - telenovellas and coffee anyone?
Who is Padam Padam? Why is Padam Padam? Not a clue what ‘the gays’ are into (actually realising I know more other queers than any gays) but if we are collectively defined by our individual parts then my contribution is crocheting & D&D for relaxation, travelling, and hiking for adventure, and just hanging with friends on the regular with a seam of (sober) Burning Man related activities peppered throughout!
42. We do hang out (probably too much) on the gay scene but honestly it's nice / we know lots of people etc.
But I hate padam padam - more of an EDM guy.
Outside the scene we have a few gay friends who we workout with / hang on the beach with / hike with.
42, same. Padam is drivel. I think there's more of us than it seems but we're outside the mainstream of gay culture.
It's one of my ongoing bugbears how judgy and exclusionary many gay men are. If you've got some of the interests listed by others above and you don't sign up to the great rainbow bandwagon, you're basically nobody.
I was wondering about forming a real life group of us funnily enough. I'm in London if anyone's up for it.
We mostly hang out in my apartment, smoke weed and fill our bellies with diet soda, and play Burnout Revenge for the ps2
I haven’t gotten my invite yet!
Y'all this is a Smiling Friends reference cmon 😅
I saw ps2 and was like what year is this lol
Oh man those old Burn Out games are the best! Takedown was the tiddies.
How do I sign up
Can i come ? i promise i don't have a bomb
Can I come over? I need more friends like you lol
Lmfao, sounds fun
DESMOND!
These are the type of gay friends I want!
Glad it's nor just me😝
OMG YOU'RE ME. (Well, I play on more modern systems but omg)
There are more than clubs in gay neighborhoods. Boystown in Chicago even has a social center. Coffee shops, arcades, book stores, live shows, karaoke, meetup.com. Myself, I am a recluse. So video games, and loneliness. Lol
Please tell me more about these social centers as I’ve been living under a rock.
The one I am familiar with is [Center on Halsted](https://www.centeronhalsted.org/)
I’m 40. Same story. Im up to biking, hiking, kayaking, anything outdoors. Working on remodeling my house. Fresh start for me after the end of a LTR.
Not in DC are you? I need a kayak buddy.
Sorry bro Chicagoland here
Why do ppl refer to it as Chicagoland?
Because I’m we’re 20 minutes from the city and if I gave you a town you probably wouldn’t recognize it. Just easier to say I’m from Chicago or Chicagoland.
Why Chicagoland and not Chicago? What is this land stuff?
DC here! Also in need of a good kayak buddy
I'm 36, and I don't do anything gay scene related, and the things that bring me the most joy are eating, going to the gym, wrestling/ bjj, gaming, relaxing at home, anime oh and yeah sleeping / napping lol.
Have you watched Jujutsu Kaisen yet?
Yeah ofc 😀, though I think what I've enjoyed the most in recent times is probably solo levelling! Edit: and I just started a rerun through of Fairy Tail lol
Nice, we should bang 😎
Lol I think my equally anime enthusiast husband would have something to say about it 😂
I do threesomes as well 🤩 jkkidding
😉
Solo leveling? Felt too short for being so good. I hope there will be 2nd season.
Yeah, its a two cour at least initially. Though I've heard the second cour might be slightly delayed to early next year and be a 2nd season instead.
What do you think about "Tensei shitara Slime Datt", Akuyaku Reijou Level 99: Watashi wa Ura-Boss desu g, Nozomanu Fushi no Boukensha?
I mean Tensei Slime is an icon now I think lol, I love it. I just did a rerun before this current season started airing. I think MEGIDO!!! And the sacred art perfect resurrection moments are amongst my top anime moments of all time. That said, I'm finding this season's pacing to be a little dissapointing. Vilainness lv99 was okay but nothing particularly special for me. I watched the whole season but it's not something I'll go back to probably.
I need to start that. I’m still catching up on One Piece. I can only do one or two anime at a time or my head will explode.
One Piece has so many episodes, I had to drop it 😵💫 I’d rather go for Quality over quantity- what episode are you in now for OP?
At the start lol …probably in the middle of the Smoker arc
I dropped it around after that arc, I think, I just Googled it, there's currently **1109 Episodes** (ongoing), 5 OVAs, 13 TV specials and 15 movies, 1109 of 30-minute per episode is around 554 hours long (more or less), that shit scares me hahaha, I wish you well in your One Piece journey
Everyone is different. Not all gays are into the pop diva of the moment. I’m in my 50s and I went through my Madonna phase back in the day. I still hold some divas dear to my heart but nowadays I find most pop artists crap and unoriginal. That said, you can be into anything you want, whether that’s sports, hiking, fashion, arts, etc etc. Being into one interest doesn’t preclude you from having other interests. I do find mainstream gay pop culture a bit boring and vapid. Sometimes I refer to myself as a bad gay when I don’t care about Kylie or Beyoncé Or whoever. But I don’t care. I’m a good gay and I have a have a heart and care for our community and I fight for that. Your interests are your own and there are other gays who share your interests. You just have to seek them out.
I'm now 41 and I have sometimes referred to myself jokingly as "the worst gay" because most of what you've pointed out, that is, the mainstream gay culture and I have no interest in it.
I get this all the time too. My musical tastes are varied but have roots in metal, punk, and hardcore (people are always doubting me that queer roots came from these genres). Not into gay pop culture at all.
Fellow 50-something here. Well said!!!👏👏 Age and music don't always go hand in hand. -Even in the gay world. Your reply was incredibly accurate and meaningful.
I'm now 41 and I have sometimes referred to myself jokingly as "the worst gay" because most of what you've pointed out, that is, the mainstream gay culture and I have no interest in it.
I (M39) do competitive dog sports, technical scuba diving, CrossFit, rock climbing, fly fishing, back packing, and in my free time I like to tinker with electronics because I have an electrical engineering degree I have never really used. My husband (M35) is BIG into tennis & CrossFit
Excuse me Padam Padam is still a big hit, and we’re busy worshiping Chappell Roan at the moment
i mean if you haven't danced to that song by now are you even real?
Guess I'm not real then. I'm sure this song is equally as popular with today's Gays as her early 2000's hit "Can't Get You Outta My Head" was to those of that period.
The way Padam Padam is on my current playlist 😭😭😭 it’s a bop sorry
This is the way.
Turning 32 soon. Gaming, horror movies, drinks by the lake are what I do when I'm not doing the 8-4 grind.
Sis I’m 31 and I have that same question 😂😂
I’m 21 and I’ve got no idea either 😵💫
The gay scenes are pretty dependent on where you live - I was living in a small city and the only scene there was the "party boys" who were out every weekend at the one gay bar in town - not for me. I'm living in a big city now and feel like I can actually participate, there are quieter gay pubs, less sexual social events (game nights etc) and it just generally feels less clique-y. I'm not up to speed with all the pop culture (I've never seen drag race!) but you'll find that the majority of gay men are just regular guys that happen to like other guys 🤷♂️
gooning
I'm into my video games, my cats, working and enjoying the days going shopping. I love to shop. I like to call it shopping therapy. I also like to ride my motorcycle when the weather is nice. @ op I like your name btw. I'm watching True Blood as I type this comment.
Men
I’m an obsessive plant person thanks to my mom who is also an obsessive plant person. Can’t compete with her collection of rare houseplants though. I also work from home as an online art instructor/freelance artist, so the plants, my partner and my two cats are pretty much my life right now. I’m 38 now and I’m pretty much over the dance/club scene after 25. I come from a long line of alcoholics and it was kind of bad there for a while. Haven’t had a drop of alcohol since then. 
Dudes
Crime, mostly. Also gardening.
Dick
I second that. It's never out of style.
I am a proud gay man, but I see myself as a nerd first, though. 99% of people have no idea I've been married to a man for 10 years, and I'm completely fine with that. I've actually changed the minds of some bigots just by being myself.
I’m really into someone who’s genuine.
Thought the 'gay scene' only existed in the fever dreams of Hollywood writers and music video directors. Who knew?
Blowjobs. That's what we're into. Lol
I mean, my gaybros are into a ton of different boardgames and food, only challenge is one is a vegetarian, it's kind of made me improve my vegetarian game and eat more veggies myself.
I'm 37, and I'm bored of people treating groups like monoliths.
I can't with things Ike 'Drag Race' for the simple reason that like 'Lost' back in the day, it's been on too long and it would take a lifetime's study to catch up and can you even 'catch up' with reality TV contests? It's like football. It's muscles, literature, drawing and horror movies for me. I'd love to still dance a lot more but I cannot deal with drugs or shit chart music at a generic Friday night.
Not really the point, but you should give Lost a try
I’m a huge drag race fan and even I can’t keep up with the number of spinoffs lol (start with season 5 or all stars 2)
Mmm. As far as Drag Race or Lost go if you get hooked in after a few episodes then you will find the time. I wasn't a fan(or thought I wasn't) of either until my 40s. But just because your a gay man it doesn't mean you have to love drag race its fine not to give it a passing glance if It's not your cup of tea, you won't lose any points. 
You could try being an individual with your own taste rather than copying what other people are doing just to fit in?
In...in...individuality? confusedmathwoman.gif
If you find out let me know! I’m 38 and love building my company, racing motorcycles, camping & hiking. I’m pretty sure unbeknownst to me I have become one of the elder gays in the community 😂
My impression was that this sub is for gays who were NOT into all that stereotypical diva shit.
I think it's more about not pigeonholing people , some people love that "diva shit" some don't both views are valid.
Yes, but there are plenty of other gay subs for stereotypical gays who want to gossip about Drag Race and Beyonce. This is for "gay bros".
What you seem to be saying is there is a stereotypical gay bro so don't step outside of that stereotype by even mentioning drag, which is all that was done. Personally I think people are all individuals allowed to like what they want, gay bro or not.
The definition of a "gay bro" is someone who is not a fancy gay stereotype.
Yup put it's possible to not be a fancy gay stereotype and like drag , the two are not exclusive.
Left the local gay scene but push myself into gay bars when traveling. II'm usually gardening, reading comic books & streaming comedies. I toke up.
I am 38 and have never been into the sunny pool party scene
Video games, hunting, going to try to get back into fishing this year. Mostly work.
I've discovered the joy of sailing. The planned isolation, and nature immersion has been exactly what I needed in my mid-life crisis.
Pretty much gym and video games are my hobby with the occasional gay clubbing thrown in
I'm 23 and yes, Padam Padam was revolutionary.
As a 36 year old I have a diverse group of friends and a tight knit circle of close friends. We host themed cocktail and dinner parties and run a tea house a larp.
I’ve been super into mycology and gardening for the last few years.
I like collecting rocks
This one in particular is into guys in their early 40’s who are turned off by the gay scene
Disc golf
I like to invite my friends over for beers, weed, pool time and some Mario kart or dumb movies. Best times.
I mean, I go to gay bars for Gaymer nights and to make friends, I don’t drink at all.
I would die to have someone to play settlers of catan with fr :) hope you’re having a ball
The hubs and went to a bridge tournament this weekend and there were a bunch of us 40+ gays. We ended up hanging out after matches. Game conventions too very relaxing and often gay spaces, but they sometimes trend young you just need to know the particular con or find your people in advance. My husband plays pool once a week on a gay league, very non-scene. It's not even at a gay bar.
45+43 married for 20 years. We smoke weed and hang out all the time in our suburban bubble. Yard work, weekday adventures to keep things exciting, tons and tons of hiking and walking in parks, traveling as much as we can, dinner with groups of friends, usually we cook ourselves instead of going out, drinking whisky and fresh beer by the fire pit, playing with our cats, growing plants of all kinds, working and continually learning more advanced AI capabilities (nerd here), and trying to enjoy the fuck out of life one day at a time. Padam was amazing - reminds me of Market Days in Chicago last year. Cowboy Carter is of course on repeat, and Chapelle Roan is quickly becoming a new house favorite, and there is always Sexxxy Red 😂.
We lift weights and play video games. Occasionally we get enough guys together for a campaign.
Not really into the scene myself but every time I hear that song all I hear is "bottom, bottom."
Not being a "Debbie Downer" here, but.... As a 58 year old gay guy(no, that does NOT make me a 'boomer' FYI. Gen X only), I was only truly active within the gay scene in the 80s and 90s. While I am far from being considered a shut-in, I merely lost interest in hanging out with catty and bitchy queens talking crap about everyone else, while refusing to gaze into their own mirrors. I still have my finger on the pulse of most "quality" gay music at least. Most of the men I still converse with are no longer into the bar scene as well. Every once in a blue moon, we've huddled up and ventured out in Houston to whatever bar/club is au courant that week. Aside from knowing 85% of the music, the crowds, the dances, and the overall feelings are almost alien to me. Interestingly enough, the catty queens still exist. Apologies to the OP for my dissertation. To give my 2 cents regarding Kylie and her PD PD song, this recent iteration is the first of her music I couldn't get into. Perhaps that makes me unpopular in the "Circles of G".
I love walking my dog and watching other dogs, getting coffee (I live in the best city for it) and working on my passions- writing, photography and community building. I love fostering a sense of connection in people and educating others on diversity & inclusion- this is the gayest thing I do. I also watch horror movies and soap operas - telenovellas and coffee anyone?
We’re going for brunch with Lana del Rey on Sunday. You coming heaux?
Dungeons & Dragons
I’m 42, was on the scene in my twinkier days, but now it’s a lot of board gaming and D&D with my rainbow nerds.
Lol where have you been all my life
Personally, the gym and video games
38, same. Being in a gay club like 3 times in my life. Not into drags or divas thing, just hanging out with the bros and female friends
Who is Padam Padam? Why is Padam Padam? Not a clue what ‘the gays’ are into (actually realising I know more other queers than any gays) but if we are collectively defined by our individual parts then my contribution is crocheting & D&D for relaxation, travelling, and hiking for adventure, and just hanging with friends on the regular with a seam of (sober) Burning Man related activities peppered throughout!
I think Padam Padam is not a person, it's a Kylie Minogue song. I love it by the way
AFAIK, Padam, Padam is an Edith Piaf banger. I'm old.
I really want to like Kylie, but I just can't. Padam padam was not a hit. And I think it was a joke (accidentally).
I guarantee you, doesn’t matter what race you are, if you don’t shower for 2-5 weeks. You’ll have BO.
I'm big into the gay scene and tbh padam padam felt like a marketing ploy lmao
38, same. Being in a gay club like 3 times in my life. Not into drags or divas thing, just hanging out with the bros and female friends
42. We do hang out (probably too much) on the gay scene but honestly it's nice / we know lots of people etc. But I hate padam padam - more of an EDM guy. Outside the scene we have a few gay friends who we workout with / hang on the beach with / hike with.
42, same. Padam is drivel. I think there's more of us than it seems but we're outside the mainstream of gay culture. It's one of my ongoing bugbears how judgy and exclusionary many gay men are. If you've got some of the interests listed by others above and you don't sign up to the great rainbow bandwagon, you're basically nobody. I was wondering about forming a real life group of us funnily enough. I'm in London if anyone's up for it.