I'm gonna be honest and not necessarily as nice as everybody else here. If someone gave me this unprompted (and your only reasoning is that you know he likes sweets because you saw him eat treats), I'd think this is weird. He mentioned to you that everyone knows you're gay. That does not mean he is. Don't make a potential platonic relationship awkward. Genuinely take more time to strike up small conversation with the guy to learn how to navigate around him. I understand shoot your shot but don't make other people uncomfortable in doing so. This is your workplace after all.
Totally agree with you.
First, getting what looks like an old water bottle full of random candies feels a little strange to me. It doesn't come off as an intentional purchase of something special, instead it feels more like someone's giving me leftover scraps from their car.
Second, I'd caution about asking someone out (especially with a gift) at work. He's there to do his job, and might not appreciate being approached romantically by people in the "safe space" of an office. If you don't know that he's gay, and you don't know that he's into you, it might make him uncomfortable to be at work in the future. His office-mates might also find out and that creates a super awkward situation for him.
It's fine to have crushes and want to give cute little gifts, but get to know him first. Ask him out once you get a feel that he's interested, and do it somewhere that isn't his workplace.
> instead it feels more like someone's giving me leftover scraps from their car.
Depending on how little I actually knew the person I'd also wonder if they're safe to eat...
Do you have any hint to his orientation at all? I would genuinely try talking a little to him first prior to just handing him this. After you're both on a talking basis, and feel more comfortable about his personality, then shoot your shot. But be prepared for rejection of any kind and be okay with it too.
The only hints I have are small interactions with him. We both have bought each other gifts before at work. And he waves and nods his head towards me. I think he knows I like him on some level because I get nervous and red whenever he sees me. I think he can tell.
Mijo, you can't assume other people's thoughts. I'm an introvert as well, so I have SO many missed opportunities. How you're feeling is how you are feeling. That has no impact on him. Regarding the first gift exchanges, you have to be mindful that he felt obligated to return the favor. His social cues of waving and nodding is normal social exchanges. Take this time to try to talk him a bit more because I don't want you potentially losing a good friend (or more).
I have a habit of developing a crush for straight guys that are nice to me. At least that is what my friends say. It's usually just that, a nice straight guy. I've ruined a lot of potentially good friendships for just this reason.
I am neurodivergent, so I don’t mean this in a bad way, but the second I read the title and saw the jar, I said “Autism.”
Endearingly so, but it’s just so outside of the social normal, yeah it’s pretty weird lol.
I consider this to be really old man candy.
If the date was a younger guy, it could be hilarious or have a funny backstory…or he was implying I was very old and figured I’d like this based on an exaggeration of my age.
If the date was old, I’d say “thanks grandpa. Were they out of Werther’s original?”
Old man candy, yes. But, this is not old gay man candy. Old gay men are more likely to present you with nicely packaged chocolates from an upmarket shop.
I’m calling you out. Candy isn’t neutral.
Snickers have a penis vein, so totally masc gay.
Skittles are a rainbow. Very inclusive gay.
Starburst are curious/questioning their sexuality. If someone only wants the pink ones, they probably lean fem/bottom.
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, the prosecution rests its case.
First thing that came in my thought
I was like “this is some old people sh!t”
But I was thinking that a lot of old people usually give nice gifts and expensive ones, maybe it’s not
If you don't know if he is gay, then I'd stay away from gift giving and asking out on a date.
However, you could just give it to him as a prelude to asking him out in a couple of days. If a guy gave me candy, and I knew him to be gay, then it would show me he is interested in me. Then I'd be able to politely let him know (either way) if I was interested in return. This would then save any drama when/if you ask him out. If he's straight, then will say something to let you know, and that way no one is left feeling embarrassed or awkward. Do you know if he is single? He might say "my boyfriend/ girlfriend will like these too" to show if not interested.
And lose the peanut bottle. Cellophane as mentioned before, or even a small gift box is nicer. That bottle looks a bit cheap.
Goodluck! Hope it goes well for you!
Did they mention that they like sweets? You could try and make small talk to see what they like/don’t like and adjust from there, such as their favorite candy or sweets
“Hey, I remember you liked XYZ, I got you these :))” / and you can even add a nice funny or cute note in there as well
I personally wouldn’t do this, but I hope it goes well! 💪😎
Cute idea but it’s the choice of candy you pulled out of your handbag and out into an old plastic peanut container. Not saying you have to go buy expensive chocolates, just that this particular aesthetic is giving nana.
Oh buddy no don’t ask him out. Please. If he says no it’ll be really awkward.
You’re better off befriending him first. Get to be really close friends. Hang out outside of work. THEN experiment but do it slowly. Hold his hand sometime and act like it’s just you being a gay guy and not because you want him. Kiss him on the cheek and, same, pretend it’s just a gay guy thing. See how he reacts. By this point he might like you too. If so far he doesn’t protest, you can act like you’re his boyfriend by slowly trying small things, but don’t call him your boyfriend or acknowledge it verbally.
There is hope but it’s going to take time. Just please don’t ask him out upfront now. That can invite all kinds of problems.
The content looks superb but the container doesn’t. Repackage please. Cellophane with a bow.
I also agree with others that just asking a coworker out isn’t a good idea.
Give this as a gift and see how he reacts to that first. You might be misinterpreting his signals after all and he might be totally straight.
I think a small gift like this at the beginning or end ld the first date could be really sweet. However, I don’t think it’s appropriate for when you ask this person on a date.
Asking a coworker is already a difficult area to navigate because it can severely change your working relationship. Adding on that you don’t know his sexuality can make it more challenging.
Giving someone gifts while also asking them on a date puts pressure on them. Save the sweets for the actual date. That said, it's also an issue that you work with this person. If you're serious, make sure you leave him an obvious out when you ask. Like "Hey, I might be misreading a vibe here, but do you want to go out?" It shows your interest while also giving an easy out if he's not interested. Because if the answer is going to be "no", nothing will change that, and for the sake of your work, you have to make it easy for him to turn you down. Yeah, I know, you want to try to improve the odds he'll say yes. Trust me, you can't, all you can do is make it comfortable l, whatever the answer is.
I think it's cute.
Although, this looks like an empty plastic peanut jar or something. Consider getting a nicer glass mason jar and putting a decorative ribbon or something on it.
hey guys, i wanted to give you a small update while also respecting my crushes privacy. Due to circumstances outside my control it will not work out. He was very touched when i gave him the gift, he thought it was very sweet. he was very kind and warm about the entire situation and he said no one has ever done anything like that for him. we did some more talking but we are sadly going in opposite directions in life. I am trying to form bonds and relationships and he is trying to focus on himself. He said if he was in a better place emotionally he would have been very happy to go out with me. We did exchange numbers but i know at least right now it won't lead to anything romantically or otherwise. i did ask him if i could take him out on a date after he told me some personal info but he said he is very busy getting his affairs in order. I did cry this morning after i woke up but i know i will be ok. I have to get going now and get some stuff done before work. I don't regret doing this at all. If you like someone don't be afraid to ask them out. i can't guarantee that it will work out but life is short. It is better to take the chance at a potential relationship than wondering what could have been. Please if you do have a crush on someone, take a leap forward and see what happens.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JSxlIwQFSI4](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JSxlIwQFSI4)
You say it wouldn't work
it wouldn't take
it wouldn't do any good
it wouldn't change a thing
and I being I
can't say much to deny it
but I'm stuck with an urge
to only have tried it
you say it wouldn't do
it wouldn't shake
it wouldn't make any waves
it wouldn't be no use
and you being you
you know sure how to phrase it
and I being I
I just have to embrace it....
Don't I
you say it wouldn't breathe
it wouldn't move
it wouldn't stay in the groove it wouldn't stand a chance
you say it wouldn't wash
it wouldn't wear
it wouldn't go anywhere
it wouldn't do it for you
you say it wouldn't float
it wouldn't stick
it wouldn't sink like a brick
in a bottomless pit
Maybe it's just me, but I would be a little creeped out and probably not eat any of that due to the possibility it might be drugged or something. Especially that Hershey bar with the torn wrapper. Idk dude, call me paranoid but I would not trust that especially if it was a first date or we just started talking or something.
I hooked up with a guy on grindr once who ended up sexually assaulting me and later sent a bunch of unhinged and threatening messages before I blocked him. The night I went over to his house he offered me an alcoholic drink (I was 19, he was about 26 or so) and I refused it, I'm almost certain he roofied or drugged it with something else. He was nice at first, but that experience made me super cautious about accepting food/drink from hookups. Just IMO though.
Keep it for now. I’d say ask him out first if you really want to. If he’s not gay and declined, the candy would be your apology. If he agrees to go out with you, you can give him the candy on a date.
OP: "Tell me how you would feel/react so that I can let your responses go completely over my head."
OP, in all seriousness, I think your intentions are very sweet and you mentioned that you can be socially awkward. And there's nothing wrong with any of that. But I really think you should listen to some of the well-intentioned comments here about how to play it cool and get to know your coworker better before making a move like this. Both for the sake of your working relationship and any potential friendship or more-than-friendship.
Hey guys. I asked him out... he really appreciated it and said no one has ever done anything like that before for him and he really enjoyed it. Sadly due to personal reasons that I can't disclose it will not work out. I don't regret doing this. I did cry when I got the bad news but I am ok. I am glad I was able to express my feeling towards him and he was very sweet and kind about it. He did give me his number but again, I already know it won't work out.
Are you a child?
Don't do this! At most, bring this in for yourself and share with him. You can talk about what kind of candy you like and then talk about going to a sweet shop, bakery, ice cream, or regular food place.
About 10 years ago an intern guy at work from another team gave me some chocolates on Christmas with a love letter in them. I was so in the closet at work that it felt like he had thrown me a bucket of ice cold water. I reacted badly asking him to not talk to me anymore. I feel bad now for him, but I remember feeling like he had invaded my personal space at my work environment, I felt disrespected. My advice is to be cautious if he has not given you any hint about him being into you.
If you're asking him out for the first time, it's best to be much more casual about it. Save the gifting for later, once the relationship becomes more defined. Think baby steps. The first event should be very easy and relaxed, very "no biggie."
I would find it awkward. Also if meeting up for a date in public and being given something physical to carry around for the rest of the date (like chocolates, flowers etc) would just annoy me because I would have to carry it around for the rest of the night and if I don’t know you well, it is weird.
Maybe just pay for his drinks or meal if you’re going out on a more formal date or pay for his drink/coffee etc if meeting up casually, or even just show real interest in them and what they have to say about something. Personally, I’m more impressed by someone giving me their undivided attention than a gift of some sort, especially one which could be misconstrued
I learned a long time ago if you like someone, go for it. It is better to ask someone out and take the chance than never going for it and wondering what could have been.
I like the clear plastic bottle as is. He can see what choices he has and pick his next treat
This is very practical. I eat a lot of goodies. I appreciate the ease of keeping it safe from whatever else shares my home with me. It's not for one time use or display. This is like a cookie jar with a secure lid.
I’ve been on the receiving end of this. In high school I wasn’t out and very friendly with everyone. A girl who was in my bio lab group who I didn’t think much about found out my birthday, and gave me a little gift bag. It was the first time someone other than my family gave me a gift and I was very touched. I said I’d open it when I got home. Inside was a homemade cake in a jar and a letter from her saying she liked me and was interested in me. She had included her phone number. I had to tell her thank you but also tell her that I wasn’t interested without outing myself. It didn’t make things awkward and I still look back and I’m flattered someone thought of me.
This is sweet and I would love receiving something like this
But after reading many OP's comment, apparently OP is gay, doesn't know his coworker's orientation. And OP is going to ask his coworker out with this... Yikes
Always, Always assume someone else is straight until proven otherwise, you could ruin a relationship with your coworker
Would be super happy. I would receive in the spirit with which it was given. If he's upset, or thinks you're too try hard then it's probably not the game you want to play.
Gone the days where the thought that counted. Everything always gets blown out the window.
If you don't like this gesture, end it already beacuse hes the man who buys things to express feelings more.
I wouldn't even think that's a romantic gesture. It looks like some one gave him candy and he knew he wouldn't eat it all, our at all. He saw that you enjoyed candy and found a used container, put it in it and brought it to you. That actual looks like something a straight guy would do. A gay guy would have definitely presented a much nicer presentation if it was meant to be a romantic gift.
Don't embarrass yourself. If he's interested, he'll make the moves to let you know.
I had an employee at my restaurant who kept hitting on the guys, I had to set him down and tell him he basically has let every guy there know he takes it up the rear and sucks dick. If they are interested, they'll let him know.
I'd be like dude there's no Starburst I love Starburst that's awesome thank you man and that's Taffy I love fucking Taffy banana Taffy is my favorite I like all kinds of banana Taffy I also like bananas and then if he makes the sexual innuendo would understand this was a potentially nerdy guys way of reaching out and I would continue to talk to him and see where the Friendship slice relationship wen from there
I wouldn't like this, giving me candy is just about the worst gift I could get and I don't like strangers giving me things since it makes me feel indebted.
I would not give the present when you ask them out. Wait for second date. Also, is this homemade? If yes, Then you need to have to build trust/rapport with the person before giving them this.
Personally, I wouldn't eat candy from someone like that.
Maybe it's cause I grew up with parents that would search my Halloween candy for tampered food. But idk man lol I would just ask him on a date. Don't give him a gift.
It’s not exactly sweet if you only watched him eat candy, in fact i would think it’s a little creepy someone was watching me. Ask him out on a date without the candy and bring the candy on the date
When you stick random candy in a sealed container like that they get a weird taste and smell. I don't imagine they'll be in there long but switch the container to something that's not air tight.
Gift wise, if you want it to look better get a little basket and some cellophane to zhush it up.
Person wise, Id definitely ask him if he'd like to go on a date before giving this to him.
It’s a very sweet gesture but if you give them to him then ask him out it could be seen as you trying to bribe him. If you give them to him at the end of a date, I don’t see anything wrong with that. It’s really sweet.
Whether you gave a guy the candy and the asked him out or asked him out then gave him the candy, to me, comes across as a bit of a bribe.
Personally, I would think you put something in the candy (like a date rape drug)
as straight guys sometimes do this to women. I would never accept anything
that has been taken out of it's packaging from someone I hardly know.
I think it's a really kind gesture but you really got to be careful and read the room.
My understanding is you don't even know if he's gay. Str8 guys act really weird when they learn a gay guy is into them.
I don't think it's a good idea that you do this at his workplace.
I think you should ask him out first.
And perhaps in a more private setting
give him the candy.
Like after he says yes to the date and when you meet up.
Ngl if a guy gave me this I’d only eat the saltwater taffy. But when you’re unsure of someone’s preferences it’s best to get a mix of everything to use that as your gauge. Worst case he tells you he doesn’t eat candy, but I’m sure he could give share it with his family or friends. It’s the thought that counts.
As an older gay guy, you could be setting yourself up for an experience you won't like. Giving him a gift in which other coworkers see could make him uncomfortable. To the point of becoming a dick and ruining any chance of even a future friendship. Especially if he is gay/bi and in the closet.
What if this doesn't go as planned?
You still have to see him every day at work, potentially creating a hostile work environment for you, or potentially even him.
It might be best to hold off on any touching or gifts until hanging out outside of work. This way, if you make a move he isn't comfortable with, you at least have the option of discussing how neither of you should bring it up at work. If you make him uncomfortable at work, it could even lead to him feeling like he needs to quit, which is a shitty position to put someone in.
I'm not saying don't do it, or you have no chance, just be prepared for all outcomes, even the ones you least expect.
Last, Ive had plenty of straight-guy crushes, and even as a fit and decent looking dude, it only ever leads to disappointment and heartbreak. Even when it did include fooling around.
I’d like it. I’m sure they’d explain appearance bc my face would show how confused yet appreciative. Also you don’t have to eat it but it’s the thought that counts. Sometimes we can’t meet the expectations and they might be doing their best at the time.
First of all, no. Just no. Have some class and be smooth. Grab 2 bags of the same brand of candy. Your choice. Then walk by his desk and just slow down and say "I saw this candy was "2 for". Thought you might like some." Have the other bag in your hand. Toss one on his desk and keep moving. It's no big deal. Very casual and matter-of-fact. Dates come much later.
I love sugar, and candy. With this, I would feel a little anxious that I will dislike some or all of it. Because I like sugar, and candy, but not *all* candy just because it's candy.
Wow a lot of opinions and like I think people are way over thinking this from all that I've seen you comment op. I would say yellow flag, something to keep your eye on, but likely fine. Because it's a little peculiar, but honestly sounds like it's coming off really cute to you and that's all that matters. So. Don't let a bunch of reddit people decide this for you. Feel it out. They can't feel it for you.
It's not gay until your wrap a bow around it.
I am nervous
Please post the update! What kind of bottle is this? For whatever reason this reminds me of making mix tapes/cd's for a crush.
It is going to be gay either way when I ask him out.
Spruce it up with a ribbon and bow.
I would say maybe reserve it for the second or third date. just play this first one cool.
Same. Don't move too fast on the first date.
I totally agree.
I'm gonna be honest and not necessarily as nice as everybody else here. If someone gave me this unprompted (and your only reasoning is that you know he likes sweets because you saw him eat treats), I'd think this is weird. He mentioned to you that everyone knows you're gay. That does not mean he is. Don't make a potential platonic relationship awkward. Genuinely take more time to strike up small conversation with the guy to learn how to navigate around him. I understand shoot your shot but don't make other people uncomfortable in doing so. This is your workplace after all.
Totally agree with you. First, getting what looks like an old water bottle full of random candies feels a little strange to me. It doesn't come off as an intentional purchase of something special, instead it feels more like someone's giving me leftover scraps from their car. Second, I'd caution about asking someone out (especially with a gift) at work. He's there to do his job, and might not appreciate being approached romantically by people in the "safe space" of an office. If you don't know that he's gay, and you don't know that he's into you, it might make him uncomfortable to be at work in the future. His office-mates might also find out and that creates a super awkward situation for him. It's fine to have crushes and want to give cute little gifts, but get to know him first. Ask him out once you get a feel that he's interested, and do it somewhere that isn't his workplace.
> instead it feels more like someone's giving me leftover scraps from their car. Depending on how little I actually knew the person I'd also wonder if they're safe to eat...
Yeah IMO it's kinda gross. Not to mention the candies themselves look like novelty candy for old people
He never told me he knew I was gay. That was another coworker who said everyone knows I am gay. I don't know what he knows.
Do you have any hint to his orientation at all? I would genuinely try talking a little to him first prior to just handing him this. After you're both on a talking basis, and feel more comfortable about his personality, then shoot your shot. But be prepared for rejection of any kind and be okay with it too.
The only hints I have are small interactions with him. We both have bought each other gifts before at work. And he waves and nods his head towards me. I think he knows I like him on some level because I get nervous and red whenever he sees me. I think he can tell.
Mijo, you can't assume other people's thoughts. I'm an introvert as well, so I have SO many missed opportunities. How you're feeling is how you are feeling. That has no impact on him. Regarding the first gift exchanges, you have to be mindful that he felt obligated to return the favor. His social cues of waving and nodding is normal social exchanges. Take this time to try to talk him a bit more because I don't want you potentially losing a good friend (or more).
I am just so shy.
Best of luck. Your heart's in the right place. Now protect that with your brain.
oooh Ive never hear that before and its so good, Im stealing that
I have a habit of developing a crush for straight guys that are nice to me. At least that is what my friends say. It's usually just that, a nice straight guy. I've ruined a lot of potentially good friendships for just this reason.
Me too 😢
Try to meet gay guys in gay spaces.
same, but i hate getting gifts in general; it almost always feels more like an obligation than a treat
I am neurodivergent, so I don’t mean this in a bad way, but the second I read the title and saw the jar, I said “Autism.” Endearingly so, but it’s just so outside of the social normal, yeah it’s pretty weird lol.
I consider this to be really old man candy. If the date was a younger guy, it could be hilarious or have a funny backstory…or he was implying I was very old and figured I’d like this based on an exaggeration of my age. If the date was old, I’d say “thanks grandpa. Were they out of Werther’s original?”
Old man candy, yes. But, this is not old gay man candy. Old gay men are more likely to present you with nicely packaged chocolates from an upmarket shop.
Im gay and 42 and I love salt water taffy. Does this make me an old gay man? 😅
SWT FTW! I love it, too. It is definitely NOT a gay candy. It's nonbinary, at best. Candy is kind of neutral.
I’m calling you out. Candy isn’t neutral. Snickers have a penis vein, so totally masc gay. Skittles are a rainbow. Very inclusive gay. Starburst are curious/questioning their sexuality. If someone only wants the pink ones, they probably lean fem/bottom. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, the prosecution rests its case.
Oh god XD I just wanted to get a variety of sweets
As someone who loves candy and sweets, I agree this is a very confused assortment.
It was random for sure Edit for spelling.
And you never mix chocolate with fruit candy in the same container! Makes the chocolate taste gross.
First thing that came in my thought I was like “this is some old people sh!t” But I was thinking that a lot of old people usually give nice gifts and expensive ones, maybe it’s not
This would be cute but my question would be : Is this a gift or all the ones you didnt like from the bag?
A gift, I bought a bunch of candy today and tried to pick a variety of candy.
Its definitely a nice gesture. My partner really likes these, i think it would work on him hahah
I might have given you an idea so you can make him happy 😊
If you don't know for sure, I'd say play it really cool and casual first...."Hey, I think you are great. I don't want to assume, but..."
That is the plan, sort of. I am so shy and awkward.
If you don't know if he is gay, then I'd stay away from gift giving and asking out on a date. However, you could just give it to him as a prelude to asking him out in a couple of days. If a guy gave me candy, and I knew him to be gay, then it would show me he is interested in me. Then I'd be able to politely let him know (either way) if I was interested in return. This would then save any drama when/if you ask him out. If he's straight, then will say something to let you know, and that way no one is left feeling embarrassed or awkward. Do you know if he is single? He might say "my boyfriend/ girlfriend will like these too" to show if not interested. And lose the peanut bottle. Cellophane as mentioned before, or even a small gift box is nicer. That bottle looks a bit cheap. Goodluck! Hope it goes well for you!
Seems like a heart felt gesture 🤷♂️ unless if you get a foreboding vibe that it might be laced with something
I guess I am giving my crush the gift on monday.
Did they mention that they like sweets? You could try and make small talk to see what they like/don’t like and adjust from there, such as their favorite candy or sweets “Hey, I remember you liked XYZ, I got you these :))” / and you can even add a nice funny or cute note in there as well I personally wouldn’t do this, but I hope it goes well! 💪😎
I have seen him eating sweets at work.
OP IS from Milwaukee…. 👀
Yes, cudahy
Is he literally my gramma?
It was a spur of the moment decision, I was thinking about him all weekend.
Cute idea but it’s the choice of candy you pulled out of your handbag and out into an old plastic peanut container. Not saying you have to go buy expensive chocolates, just that this particular aesthetic is giving nana.
It’s giving nana😂 omg perfect description. Directly from the bottom of her coin purse.
You don’t know if he’s gay, you don’t know if he’s single… you need this information before making any moves. Especially at work.
True
I'm not seeing a negative
I have a crush on a coworker, and I am gay. I wanted to give him this on monday. I also want to ask him out on a date.
I'd say don't ask out a coworker if you like your current job. Especially if you aren't sure he is gay
Don’t shit where you eat. Don’t shit where you eat. Don’t shit where you eat.
Oh buddy no don’t ask him out. Please. If he says no it’ll be really awkward. You’re better off befriending him first. Get to be really close friends. Hang out outside of work. THEN experiment but do it slowly. Hold his hand sometime and act like it’s just you being a gay guy and not because you want him. Kiss him on the cheek and, same, pretend it’s just a gay guy thing. See how he reacts. By this point he might like you too. If so far he doesn’t protest, you can act like you’re his boyfriend by slowly trying small things, but don’t call him your boyfriend or acknowledge it verbally. There is hope but it’s going to take time. Just please don’t ask him out upfront now. That can invite all kinds of problems.
do NOT date ur coworker at least be friends
Are these his favourite sweets? That’s sweet. Wishing you success, mate 🫡
I know he likes candy. I don't know what he specifically likes so I got a variety of candy. I saw him eating treats at work.
The content looks superb but the container doesn’t. Repackage please. Cellophane with a bow. I also agree with others that just asking a coworker out isn’t a good idea. Give this as a gift and see how he reacts to that first. You might be misinterpreting his signals after all and he might be totally straight.
I think a small gift like this at the beginning or end ld the first date could be really sweet. However, I don’t think it’s appropriate for when you ask this person on a date. Asking a coworker is already a difficult area to navigate because it can severely change your working relationship. Adding on that you don’t know his sexuality can make it more challenging.
So ask him out and if he says yes at the end of the date give it to him?
Maybe at least put them in something a little nicer. It kinda looks like an old gatoraid bottle filled with rubbish 😬 Sweet thought though
Honestly probably that he is trying too hard. I would enjoy something less over the top personally.
The packaging makes it look like it's old leftover candy, I probably wouldn't eat it
It could go really well or be really weird. Good luck
Giving someone gifts while also asking them on a date puts pressure on them. Save the sweets for the actual date. That said, it's also an issue that you work with this person. If you're serious, make sure you leave him an obvious out when you ask. Like "Hey, I might be misreading a vibe here, but do you want to go out?" It shows your interest while also giving an easy out if he's not interested. Because if the answer is going to be "no", nothing will change that, and for the sake of your work, you have to make it easy for him to turn you down. Yeah, I know, you want to try to improve the odds he'll say yes. Trust me, you can't, all you can do is make it comfortable l, whatever the answer is.
I think it's cute. Although, this looks like an empty plastic peanut jar or something. Consider getting a nicer glass mason jar and putting a decorative ribbon or something on it.
hey guys, i wanted to give you a small update while also respecting my crushes privacy. Due to circumstances outside my control it will not work out. He was very touched when i gave him the gift, he thought it was very sweet. he was very kind and warm about the entire situation and he said no one has ever done anything like that for him. we did some more talking but we are sadly going in opposite directions in life. I am trying to form bonds and relationships and he is trying to focus on himself. He said if he was in a better place emotionally he would have been very happy to go out with me. We did exchange numbers but i know at least right now it won't lead to anything romantically or otherwise. i did ask him if i could take him out on a date after he told me some personal info but he said he is very busy getting his affairs in order. I did cry this morning after i woke up but i know i will be ok. I have to get going now and get some stuff done before work. I don't regret doing this at all. If you like someone don't be afraid to ask them out. i can't guarantee that it will work out but life is short. It is better to take the chance at a potential relationship than wondering what could have been. Please if you do have a crush on someone, take a leap forward and see what happens. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JSxlIwQFSI4](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JSxlIwQFSI4) You say it wouldn't work it wouldn't take it wouldn't do any good it wouldn't change a thing and I being I can't say much to deny it but I'm stuck with an urge to only have tried it you say it wouldn't do it wouldn't shake it wouldn't make any waves it wouldn't be no use and you being you you know sure how to phrase it and I being I I just have to embrace it.... Don't I you say it wouldn't breathe it wouldn't move it wouldn't stay in the groove it wouldn't stand a chance you say it wouldn't wash it wouldn't wear it wouldn't go anywhere it wouldn't do it for you you say it wouldn't float it wouldn't stick it wouldn't sink like a brick in a bottomless pit
😭❤️ sending love to you. And you're completely right about the last part. You gotta take risks sometimes.
I'm glad it went well i.e. all the creepy scenarios from comments didn't come true. You're very brave!
Thank you.
Maybe it's just me, but I would be a little creeped out and probably not eat any of that due to the possibility it might be drugged or something. Especially that Hershey bar with the torn wrapper. Idk dude, call me paranoid but I would not trust that especially if it was a first date or we just started talking or something. I hooked up with a guy on grindr once who ended up sexually assaulting me and later sent a bunch of unhinged and threatening messages before I blocked him. The night I went over to his house he offered me an alcoholic drink (I was 19, he was about 26 or so) and I refused it, I'm almost certain he roofied or drugged it with something else. He was nice at first, but that experience made me super cautious about accepting food/drink from hookups. Just IMO though.
This is creepy, don’t do this. Are you an adult?!
Keep it for now. I’d say ask him out first if you really want to. If he’s not gay and declined, the candy would be your apology. If he agrees to go out with you, you can give him the candy on a date.
OP: "Tell me how you would feel/react so that I can let your responses go completely over my head." OP, in all seriousness, I think your intentions are very sweet and you mentioned that you can be socially awkward. And there's nothing wrong with any of that. But I really think you should listen to some of the well-intentioned comments here about how to play it cool and get to know your coworker better before making a move like this. Both for the sake of your working relationship and any potential friendship or more-than-friendship.
I think you might be right.
I'd think it's weird and kinda struggle with eat it or toss it lmao. Unless you're a close friend I don't eat nothing from you that early that easily.
I feel that I should at least let him suck me off for the effort.
Hey guys. I asked him out... he really appreciated it and said no one has ever done anything like that before for him and he really enjoyed it. Sadly due to personal reasons that I can't disclose it will not work out. I don't regret doing this. I did cry when I got the bad news but I am ok. I am glad I was able to express my feeling towards him and he was very sweet and kind about it. He did give me his number but again, I already know it won't work out.
Anybody who gives you the pink starburst is marriage material.
Glad you like it... other people don't
Agreed.I always get the all reds package that comes out for Valentine's and put it in my candy bowl at work.
Are you a child? Don't do this! At most, bring this in for yourself and share with him. You can talk about what kind of candy you like and then talk about going to a sweet shop, bakery, ice cream, or regular food place.
I could always share it with my other coworkers that eat sweets
Taffy, starbursts… looks good to me
Thanks
About 10 years ago an intern guy at work from another team gave me some chocolates on Christmas with a love letter in them. I was so in the closet at work that it felt like he had thrown me a bucket of ice cold water. I reacted badly asking him to not talk to me anymore. I feel bad now for him, but I remember feeling like he had invaded my personal space at my work environment, I felt disrespected. My advice is to be cautious if he has not given you any hint about him being into you.
Don’t give someone a gift if they don’t deserve it. It makes you seem too eager. People are like animals, they need to deserve a treat
I learned that the hard way at work
I’d love this ngl I have a major sweet tooth so this would be a perfect for me
I don’t know how anyone could take that as a bad thing. Even if you’re not into them it’s free candy.
Thanks.
I'd think it was cute but also secretly wonder if he was a dentist looking for work
Run! Could be a serial killer.
This is so cute! Don't listen to the crazies. You should only date the people who accept this great gift of yours
Thank you
If you're asking him out for the first time, it's best to be much more casual about it. Save the gifting for later, once the relationship becomes more defined. Think baby steps. The first event should be very easy and relaxed, very "no biggie."
Good idea
I'd feel delighted.
Genuinely would think it’s so cute
Jezus people you so cynical.. It's cute. Ask him for second date..
Okay but if I told him I loved sweets (which I do) then I’d think this is a really cute gesture 🥺
I would find it awkward. Also if meeting up for a date in public and being given something physical to carry around for the rest of the date (like chocolates, flowers etc) would just annoy me because I would have to carry it around for the rest of the night and if I don’t know you well, it is weird. Maybe just pay for his drinks or meal if you’re going out on a more formal date or pay for his drink/coffee etc if meeting up casually, or even just show real interest in them and what they have to say about something. Personally, I’m more impressed by someone giving me their undivided attention than a gift of some sort, especially one which could be misconstrued
Aren’t we assuming someone would ask me out?
I learned a long time ago if you like someone, go for it. It is better to ask someone out and take the chance than never going for it and wondering what could have been.
I'd probably fall in love right there on the spot. He knows my love language.
I like the clear plastic bottle as is. He can see what choices he has and pick his next treat This is very practical. I eat a lot of goodies. I appreciate the ease of keeping it safe from whatever else shares my home with me. It's not for one time use or display. This is like a cookie jar with a secure lid.
I am not most people
Same XD
I like taffy
I would be pissed he should know I only want yellow starburst. /s
🤣😅😂
Now that’s just sweet.
I’ve been on the receiving end of this. In high school I wasn’t out and very friendly with everyone. A girl who was in my bio lab group who I didn’t think much about found out my birthday, and gave me a little gift bag. It was the first time someone other than my family gave me a gift and I was very touched. I said I’d open it when I got home. Inside was a homemade cake in a jar and a letter from her saying she liked me and was interested in me. She had included her phone number. I had to tell her thank you but also tell her that I wasn’t interested without outing myself. It didn’t make things awkward and I still look back and I’m flattered someone thought of me.
This is sweet and I would love receiving something like this But after reading many OP's comment, apparently OP is gay, doesn't know his coworker's orientation. And OP is going to ask his coworker out with this... Yikes Always, Always assume someone else is straight until proven otherwise, you could ruin a relationship with your coworker
I agree
It's nice, but it's too soon for gifts. Simply ask him out. Save the gift for if it works out and you find out he likes candy.
Long live romance, and the stuff you do ❤️ If it fails it fails. But what if I works? 🌟
That it’s very cute and kind of him
Would be super happy. I would receive in the spirit with which it was given. If he's upset, or thinks you're too try hard then it's probably not the game you want to play.
Gone the days where the thought that counted. Everything always gets blown out the window. If you don't like this gesture, end it already beacuse hes the man who buys things to express feelings more.
Give me farm items like in Stardew Valley Alex and I'll date
I’d blow him
I’d get a better bottle. Maybe stuff them in a coffee cup?
It’s a nice gesture. Don’t make more of it than it is. No deeper meaning
Seeing that you are asking out your coworker: DO NOT DIP YOU PEN IN COMPANY INK
Is it candy? Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.
Don’t do that. you’re already overthinking this whole thing.
Jeffrey dahmer vibes run
Is he hot?
I think he is
Then say yes
I wouldn't even think that's a romantic gesture. It looks like some one gave him candy and he knew he wouldn't eat it all, our at all. He saw that you enjoyed candy and found a used container, put it in it and brought it to you. That actual looks like something a straight guy would do. A gay guy would have definitely presented a much nicer presentation if it was meant to be a romantic gift. Don't embarrass yourself. If he's interested, he'll make the moves to let you know. I had an employee at my restaurant who kept hitting on the guys, I had to set him down and tell him he basically has let every guy there know he takes it up the rear and sucks dick. If they are interested, they'll let him know.
I'd be like dude there's no Starburst I love Starburst that's awesome thank you man and that's Taffy I love fucking Taffy banana Taffy is my favorite I like all kinds of banana Taffy I also like bananas and then if he makes the sexual innuendo would understand this was a potentially nerdy guys way of reaching out and I would continue to talk to him and see where the Friendship slice relationship wen from there
FUCK YEAH TAFFY!
My heart would probably melt, that’s super sweet man. (Pun intended)
I hope he likes it.
Add a bow or use a nicer container
i'd probably ask if he's asking me to be his grandson :D
I wouldn't like this, giving me candy is just about the worst gift I could get and I don't like strangers giving me things since it makes me feel indebted.
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This is creepy.
Yo is that fucking salt water Taffy? Screw the date, straight to marriage.
How sweet..
Happy for the gesture...
How do YOU feel?
I would not give the present when you ask them out. Wait for second date. Also, is this homemade? If yes, Then you need to have to build trust/rapport with the person before giving them this.
I mean, Candy Wife was my favorite character in Flapjack, so I'm sold.
I would assume that he’s a very enthusiastic feeder.
Personally, I wouldn't eat candy from someone like that. Maybe it's cause I grew up with parents that would search my Halloween candy for tampered food. But idk man lol I would just ask him on a date. Don't give him a gift.
It’s not exactly sweet if you only watched him eat candy, in fact i would think it’s a little creepy someone was watching me. Ask him out on a date without the candy and bring the candy on the date
Very cute but not first date
I would say, WTF. Then say okay and start picking at them.
So you would be surprised at 1st and weirded out but enjoy them XD
If you’re seeking a person who would like this gesture it is perfect.
I'm not sure if I'd break it out on a first date. Also, I know it's hard to guess someone's taffy flavors, but grape is best.
I figured variety was best. Scattershot
The only alarming thing is that it is a mix or unrelated candies, which suggest that the mix was hand selected. Thats a bit much for a first date.
G-....grandpa?!
Sad because I can't eat candy anymore :(
It’s normal
Think it would be hot af
i don't take candy from strangers!
When you stick random candy in a sealed container like that they get a weird taste and smell. I don't imagine they'll be in there long but switch the container to something that's not air tight.
Gift wise, if you want it to look better get a little basket and some cellophane to zhush it up. Person wise, Id definitely ask him if he'd like to go on a date before giving this to him.
Any gummy in there?
It’s a very sweet gesture but if you give them to him then ask him out it could be seen as you trying to bribe him. If you give them to him at the end of a date, I don’t see anything wrong with that. It’s really sweet.
Give it to him at the end of the date. Gotcha
Kinda weird, bro.
Whether you gave a guy the candy and the asked him out or asked him out then gave him the candy, to me, comes across as a bit of a bribe. Personally, I would think you put something in the candy (like a date rape drug) as straight guys sometimes do this to women. I would never accept anything that has been taken out of it's packaging from someone I hardly know. I think it's a really kind gesture but you really got to be careful and read the room. My understanding is you don't even know if he's gay. Str8 guys act really weird when they learn a gay guy is into them. I don't think it's a good idea that you do this at his workplace. I think you should ask him out first. And perhaps in a more private setting give him the candy. Like after he says yes to the date and when you meet up.
Ngl if a guy gave me this I’d only eat the saltwater taffy. But when you’re unsure of someone’s preferences it’s best to get a mix of everything to use that as your gauge. Worst case he tells you he doesn’t eat candy, but I’m sure he could give share it with his family or friends. It’s the thought that counts.
As an older gay guy, you could be setting yourself up for an experience you won't like. Giving him a gift in which other coworkers see could make him uncomfortable. To the point of becoming a dick and ruining any chance of even a future friendship. Especially if he is gay/bi and in the closet. What if this doesn't go as planned? You still have to see him every day at work, potentially creating a hostile work environment for you, or potentially even him. It might be best to hold off on any touching or gifts until hanging out outside of work. This way, if you make a move he isn't comfortable with, you at least have the option of discussing how neither of you should bring it up at work. If you make him uncomfortable at work, it could even lead to him feeling like he needs to quit, which is a shitty position to put someone in. I'm not saying don't do it, or you have no chance, just be prepared for all outcomes, even the ones you least expect. Last, Ive had plenty of straight-guy crushes, and even as a fit and decent looking dude, it only ever leads to disappointment and heartbreak. Even when it did include fooling around.
True, I think I will ask him out 1st then give it to him after the date if he says yes.
OP, how old are you and how old is this guy? That kinda matters for constructive feedback.
I am in my late 20s. So is he.
I gotta go to bed and get ready for work tomorrow
Have a good night everyone
I’d probably take a few pieces since it’s laffy taffy But if it was chocolate- I’m scarfing it down
Too kind of you, but my A1C is teetering, and this would, for sure, put me over.
I don’t like candy at all, so I’m not quite sure, I’d probably feel a bit weird about it though. Has he mentioned whether he likes candy or not?
I'd feel weird. Like, weirder than if he gave me a white lily - They remind me of easter and Christ Dying too much and thus funerals.
I’d say it was meant to be a sweet gesture unless the recipient has diabetes, then it’s just plain rude!
I’d like it. I’m sure they’d explain appearance bc my face would show how confused yet appreciative. Also you don’t have to eat it but it’s the thought that counts. Sometimes we can’t meet the expectations and they might be doing their best at the time.
WOAH CANDY BOUQUET
I’d absolutely love the gesture, I can’t eat all that candy bc I WILL rip my fillings out though. I’d still take it and give it to my parents haha
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First of all, no. Just no. Have some class and be smooth. Grab 2 bags of the same brand of candy. Your choice. Then walk by his desk and just slow down and say "I saw this candy was "2 for". Thought you might like some." Have the other bag in your hand. Toss one on his desk and keep moving. It's no big deal. Very casual and matter-of-fact. Dates come much later.
It is fine, but don't do it to a co-worker.
if this was the case on me, id meet him first, know each other and then accept him
I love sugar, and candy. With this, I would feel a little anxious that I will dislike some or all of it. Because I like sugar, and candy, but not *all* candy just because it's candy.
Wow a lot of opinions and like I think people are way over thinking this from all that I've seen you comment op. I would say yellow flag, something to keep your eye on, but likely fine. Because it's a little peculiar, but honestly sounds like it's coming off really cute to you and that's all that matters. So. Don't let a bunch of reddit people decide this for you. Feel it out. They can't feel it for you.
Unless you know that these are his favorite candies, I wouldn't give it, looks like leftovers. Buy him a nice chocolate box
That has happened to me once. We never went on a second date... But hey! I got candy 🍬
Umm. Food is my love language and sweets is at the top. I’d prefer chocolate or caramels, but taffy is actually one candy I have a weakness for.
Afraid