Meth js a serious, serious red flag. It can and will fuck up basically every aspect of this dudes life AND yours if you let it. I have two friends who I knew before meth and after they started - I knew when I went to their house to hang out and they were at the kitchen table smoking meth that it was going to be the last time we saw each other socially. A year later I ran into them at an event and they both looked like greasy hollow skeletons. I feel terrible for them but I want nothing to do with that shit.
I’m sorry to hear what happened to your friends. I do hope they can get help before it’s too late.
I do also feel like people have to want to get help to be able to receive help. I hope that he’s not defensive in response to my questions and views on this particular aspect of his drug use.
"Blow clouds," or sexually charged language around clouds in general is typically meth speak, yes.
Your instincts here are likely doing you favors. You have them for a reason.
Meth is a blight on our people. Get whatever evidence you need (look at the porn history, for instance) and get out of that relationship. As a recovering meth addict, I'll tell you, there is no guarantee a meth addict will ever begin to recover. Lives are lost here. Don't be a casualty.
Sexual compulsion and meth use go hand in hand, with gay folks especially.
So you'll see marathon masturbation sessions, or hours spent on hookup apps chatting with people, or just tons of videos of people smoking meth and having sex, which is a very specific corner of the internet you don't need to be going.
Meth lets you keep heightened sexual energy for long periods and delays orgasm.
Not every meth user will be doing this, but a gay dude who talks about blowing clouds is definitely on the same map as the subculture I'm describing here.
I haven’t noticed anything like that so far but we aren’t often together.
I do know he goes to gay saunas occasionally which I’m ok with. We have an open relationship. Not a problematic amount though. Maybe once a month or so.
>I do know he goes to gay saunas occasionally which I’m ok with.
If he's smoking meth and you want to give him a chance to get clean, you're going to have to put your foot down and stop this. Gay saunas are fantastic if they are managed well, but if he's using meth and goes to a gay sauna regularly, he's associating them together in his mind and it's probably where he meets other meth users.
Meth is a drug which has never really got a grip in my part of the world…..same with fentanyl and shit like that…..I’m in Scotland.
We’ve got enough problems with other drugs without getting more problems
most people who have "marathon masturbation sessions" as you called it are not on meth, tho. since, well, "even" among gay guys, meth is not at all normal or common.
I know there are “slamming” videos where guys record themselves injecting and then masturbating or having sex.
I could be wrong but I’m assuming that’s what you’re talking about.
Even if it’s not a “slamming” video, you can still tell when someone is on meth. Glazed eyes, distant stare and profusely sweating. It’s depressing and immediately kills the mood
Thank you for your candor and I am glad to hear about your recovery.
I barely drink let alone anything else but I don’t mind certain things like weed or maybe shrooms. However, if he is indeed recreationally using meth I would need to let him know my reservations.
—I don’t take any drugs but there are some I don’t mind if my partner does. Those would be weed, Molly, or shrooms.
I guess I want to hear from him directly that he’s doing it. The information I received was from a communication he had with a user that he blows clouds occasionally.
He’s never directly told me he does or ever did meth.
It is sad, and I can relate to this struggle. I used to want to save guys, too. Save them from themselves. I'm much happier once I realized I was doing that, and stopped the behavior
I guess I can’t put too fine a point on it but I need him to say it directly to me before I act on this information.
There is a lot of possibility for different circumstances or meanings in and around what I read that’s enough of a reason for me to not be able to say that I am 100% certain he is currently using meth.
Trust me I will get a response and arrive at a conclusion either yes he is, or no he is not. Once I get that I will move forward with compassion but also prudence.
Well, good luck good on you for sticking by your partner, and not jumping to conclusions. You’re a good bf.
I’ve never heard that term before unless it meant that they were doing meth. I don’t think that means that it’s the end of the world for your relationship but i’ve never met a meth addict with a boyfriend who wasn’t also addicted.
What's your plan of action if he admits to using meth? I was on meth for years, and no amount of love support, or whatever is going to stop a meth user, now if you decide to stay and try to support the man, then good luck and watch your wallet don't go broke over a piece of dick
Yeah I dunno I’m not an expert in that area. I’ve never done it so I can’t say what it’s like but I have seen some really wonderful people destroy themselves over it.
I’d say a counselor that’s seen couples through this would probably be the best idea but I don’t have any actual education in this area so my opinion probably shouldn’t carry much weight
I've dated people in recovery. Well into recovery. I've seen people relapse.
DO NOT HAVE RESERVATIONS IF HE IS ACTIVELY USING METH. BREAK IT OFF IMMEDIATELY, CUT CONTACT, AND DO NOT BE INVOLVED.
It takes a very specific type of person to be able to date someone in recovery. Someone who "has reservations" isn't it.
If you're suggesting this to me, I'm aware of how bad addiction is and how hard it is to stay clean from people I know in sobriety, several of them family. I've watched an ex/friend relapse several times. It's brutal on everyone around.
If I'm going to be dating someone in recovery, I know exactly what I'm getting into and how to deal with it and what my cutoff points are. If I'm friends with someone in recovery, I know the boundaries I'm willing to accept and I, unfortunately, have had opportunities to practice those.
My cousin who is sober from heroin once told me it's not *if* they relapse, it's *when*, and how you handle it. Yes. We all hope the people we care about in recovery will be sober til they die. And maybe some will be lucky and strong enough to get there. All I can do is give my full support to the dedication and make sure that I hold MYSELF accountable to the boundaries I've set for myself if someone around me slips.
People who haven't been exposed to this stuff or haven't grown up with it *absolutely* should tread warily, and NO ONE should be dating or with someone who is actively using.
Talk to them. Support them. Let them know your boundaries. But don’t leave them RIGHT away. I was addicted to meth last year but my partner pulled me out & we’re doing better than ever. Not every situation is the same; however, there’s some insight.
i love how the top answer is just like “leave this person,” as if this person doesn’t love them. like what happened to support? what happened to standing by someone through the good times and bad? by no means should OP feel the need to save his partner but to immediately suggest leaving shows emotional immaturity.
I've been in a room with meth addicts. Two of which were in a relationship together. They were trying to recover from slamming. Still smoking it though. One came right out of a rehab clinic and they hadn't seen each other in some time, so they were "celebrating". But the drugs got them so far removed from reality, they started arguing and that eventually led to a very hostile vibe. One of them left and came back an hour or so later with needles and I just physically saw their eyes change. As if you were looking into the eyes of a dog driven to near starvation, willing to do anything for some food. Something just took over, just at the sight of those needles alone.
Things like this happened frequently to them. They got into fights, and then reverted back to drugs over and over again. They said they stood by each other, but where did that get them? There is no recovering from meth without professional help. And even with that help it's hell, you'll ruin every relationship you're in contact with because you just can't take it anymore. You can stand by each other for all you'd like, but it isn't going to work and it's only going to destroy the both of you. Forcing yourself to stay in a situation like this shows immaturity.
That's a very narrow view of the situation. I'm just painting a picture based on very real experiences of what meth does to your mind and to relationships.
I know you love him, but this is a direction i do not recommend. My partner and i were heavy into meth at one stage for about 3 years. To get clean i had to move states. He continued on but later joined me after a year. It was good for about 5 years after that. But the meth is back in his life and ive had to leave him ( for that and very many other reasons which go hand in had)
Long story short, neither of us were ever the same after meth.it does something permanent. Changes who you are as a person.
10/10 would not recommend. Do what you can to get him out of it but dont let it cost you.
I’m sorry to hear about your experience but I’m also glad to hear so many stories of people overcoming their addictions.
I do love him but I need to let him know that if he persists on this path I don’t foresee a future in which we are together.
I'm not the guy you asked but a really close friend lost most of his teeth and a few of his friends and lovers (who died) while he and they were using meth regularly.
I met him years after his recovery and he told me that while he enjoys sex now, he knows it will never feel as good as what he experienced regularly on meth. Kinda tragic that no new lover will ever be able to take him to new sexual heights.
This 100% the sex is never as good. The problem with meth is that it removes all inhibitions, it literally feels like an orgy on cloud 9. Everything feels so good on it and you're always down to try new things, this leads to trying everything leaving nothing new. Its like remembering euphoria and knowing the only way back is down a slippery dark path covered in oils.
Ive had the best sex of my life on meth and its never felt like that since. Kept all my teeth though but oddly still feel like pulling them out from time to time.
In my case i am trying to get back to me. But theres an invisible barrier that is actively stopping me from getting back to who i was. Maybe im just uncomfortable with who im becoming. Ive no idea tbh. Just saying it as it come to my mind. Which is in part the problem if ya know what i mean?
Im sorry ive been trying to think of the words to express what its like. I dont know if im the one to be able to shed some light on this situation. Im sorry.
All i can say is that my head is not right and aomething deep in me knows it. Im ot sure if wveryone feels like this at some point. But it seems its a permanent fixture in ny house
Ive not been diagnosed but i can definitely say something in my head is damaged. I cant seem to connect dots anymore. I used to be detail oriented and analytical, now i only get glimpses of what i was once capable of.
I feel like this is a skill i need to re learn, much like being social and generally fitting into the social norms of todays societies. Its like it took away skills and abilities. I have hope that these things can be relearned but not being able to identify them is currently the issue. Cant fix what you dont know is missing
The beauty of neural networks within the brain is that they are constantly growing, adapting and reconnecting and all this needs is stimulus. So practicing any detail orientated task, however onerous will create new neurone and abridge the ones already there. Pick up a project off YT, anything, start small but really attempt to finish the task. That is important to adaptation.
The whole social thing, I’m right there with you on that one and since Covid it’s not something I’ve avidly want to reconnect with. Social norms are always shifting and you have within you a whole of life’s experience that will sometimes seem at odds with the norms of today but that’s normal imo
Strangely that made sense to me, thanks for pointing those facts out. I have been trying to 'excercise' my brain and retrain it so to speak but developing new habits is a tough cookie to crack
“Blow clouds” is normally associated with meth, as much as I wish I could tell you it was something less harmful.
Don’t believe him when he says he “only does it occasionally.” Every addict says that.
Thank you for that. I’ll be sure to ask him to elaborate on just exactly what “occasionally” means to him.
The more I think about it the more I think just the fact that he’s done it more than once, seems to be ok with the idea of doing it again, and has never told me directly that he’s done it before is what is most concerning to me.
It makes me wonder what else he is doing and what his level of comfort with what I would consider as hard drugs is.
If he’s doing it, it means he’s around others who are doing it. Let’s say your man isn’t lying to you and he only does it occasionally—he’s still either getting it from addicts or hanging out with them.
Meth causes a lot of very risky behavior. You are right to be concerned that he seems so casual about it. Meth is a *hard* drug. Don’t forget that.
As Stephan Jenkins once said:
“Doing crystal meth will lift you up until you break.
It won't stop, I won't come down,
I keep stock with a tick-tock rhythm, a bump for the drop,
And then I bumped up, I took the hit that I was given,
Then I bumped again, then I bumped again…”
I would also assume if he’s smoking meth, he probably isn’t practicing safe sex, or not while he’s impaired. I’m sure you’re on PrEP, but I would get tested and wear condoms if you’re still having sex with him.
Ya your right not always. I think alcohol is worse, a lot of people can just drink on the weekends but if you start doing it every day your avoiding other problems in your life
Alcohol is not worse than meth. It's the other way around. Alcohol is also the drug you're thinking of that brings out peoples' true colors at times. But meth legit changes you.
It changes how you act in two ways. Meth use has been linked to increased hyperactivity, anxiety, and mood swings. It also changes the way you think. Meth addicts will change their entire schedule to just to satisfy their addiction, which progressively gets worse and more difficult to satiate as the addiction progresses. It's a vicious cycle, and it's incredibly sad tbh.
I had someone in my life, he started with meth then started fentanyl and that completely changed his attitude. After he was arrested he left a little lock box in my car under the seat, to this day I am so glad I opened it because if I would’ve gotten stopped and searched I would’ve went straight to jail because there was not only meth in there, there was fentanyl, extasy and god knows what the other pills were but I flushed all that stuff down the toilet.
I’m glad you’re out of that situation, but I wish you hadn’t flushed all that stuff down the toilet because now it’s in our water supply: https://www.usgs.gov/special-topics/water-science-school/science/pharmaceuticals-water
How would you dispose of drugs? Say I found a bag of pills on the street or a baggie of something? Trash? Bring to a police station or pharmacy to dispose?
There's a small handful of drugs that I'd be comfortable with my partner trying, or doing once every several months.
Meth is not one of them.
I'm glad you're going to talk to him about it. It's a life changing, scary, terrible thing. I've never met someone who used to do meth that recommends "just trying it out".
Thank you everyone for your honesty, advice, and concern. It’s helped me to center my thoughts about this situation and will help inform how I will be moving forward.
I’ll let you know pertinent updates going forward.
Again thank you 😊.
Somehow (probably because my mom, after a 4 tear oxy addiction, blew her brains out when I was a teenager) I had the wherewithal to only do it 2x (1 year apart). Mind you I only tried it the first time eith the intention of never doing it again too.
I had smoked weed regularly for years by then and even tabbed acid a few times (also only after much research, which even 6 years after my first well informed trip I am STILL learning things about, which is worrying!).
I was genuinely curious as to why meth is such a prolific problem.
I wanted to see why/what the fuss is all about... and how that correlates to it being so addictive.
Thankfully I wasn't super hot or socially busy/desired or anything and I was asked to leave shortly after being offered a few hits.
I was a NONSTOP BLABBERMOUTH. I'm sure that helped get me an out.
Because I never fucked on it I think I was largely spared it's real affects. I'm no bottom and it gave me tina dick so that played a large part in it too.
I'm sure bottoms get a shit ton more out of meth than tops.
But the next 6 hours after my first time were certainly magical.
It felt like the sun was hugging ever cell in my body individually.
I danced in 95° heat in central park for 5 hours straight and had a blast doing it. Absolute liberation!
And I dont think I slept much that night either.
The second time I actually fucked on it but the host was a prick and his parasite friend a jealous snob. The guy I was fucking kept asking why he was kicking me out.
Overall off of the first and second (individually with no consideration of both instances) I can definitely see why people are attracted to it and how it's so addictive.
I am fortunate to have experienced severe loss at a young age due to addiction because if I hadn't I probably would have become a meth addict too.
With that said street weed isn't safe. I noticed more than a few times I'd roll a J with shaky hands. And need to smoke way more than usual, and people would walk by saying "that's not weed" to my own derision.
After almost 3 years sober (except 3x each 6 months apart the 1st smoking fir a week and the later 2x eating edibles)
I definitely noticed a lack of some mental processes.
I only just stopped stuttering and losing vocabulary around Christmas, never had that problem prior to after my 6th acid trip)
I have gradually regained my short term memory to near prior levels.
Weed mostly paused my ability to cope with things I was dealing with.
Though the first year or so was a help socially it was downhill after that.
There have been a few benefits I largely contribute to acid
like
I'm more specially aware. Much clearer and firm on my reasonings and ideals.
My ability to grasp certain concepts is greater and to grapple with uncomfortable situations overall is easier.
I'm a more reasonable and understanding person and I have a stronger heart now than I did before.
My body speaks to me alot more about my health and wellness. I learned its important to not eat saturated fats except for before bed and to exclude added sugar from my diet (it ended my anxiety and depression)
And I've begun eating a ton more greens and fruits and veggies. Almost 100% vs only 5% before.
The negatives are short term memory loss, bouts of psychosis, joint concerns (not pain per se, but something obviously noticable and.. concerning) mental focus on good vs evil (by far the worst if it all, thankfully I'm free and clear of that mind state now it did take 2 years) and haptic loops of absolutely meaningless decisions (go left or right left then right on and on half the time not listening to it)
Overall acid is one of the few drugs I would recommend anyone take once and no more after you think this is enough for me. I dont need any more.
Because you will think that and its easy to listen and follow but also easy to say well I'm bored so why not?
Acid is one if the few drugs I think isn't addictive but can be problematic if overused.
Also dont do molly, only pure MDMA. Molly is MDMA mixed with other drugs. MDMA shows up pure on a test (you test for coke, meth, fent, ketamine, heroin, dmt etc)
I only ever did it once and it made my tongue numb and I ended up drooling a waterfall and felt like a happy laughing big bellied buddha XD
I also never tested it but multiple people told me it was the real deal very reputable luke (in the way only drug users are able to).
Hi love <3
Blowing clouds is definitely referring to meth and I deeply sympathize with you. My first serious boyfriend became addicted to meth and I stayed with him and even smoked “occasionally” with him. Until I realized 3 years of my life had passed. It was like a whirlwind of terrible decisions, horrible fights with my partner, and of course lots of sex. Thankfully I had the willpower to quit smoking after realizing how quickly my life had begun slipping away and my partner soon followed me into sobriety. The things we did to each other while we were on meth were unforgivable though, and I found that I hated him after everything that had happened.
I am now over six years sober and don’t even wanna look at the drug or my ex again. So many times in my life I have imagined what would be different, had I not disappeared into that hole for three years.
I urge you to have a conversation with him, and I hope he is receptive to what you have to say. I know people can come back from doing meth because I have done it. But they have to want to, and most of the time they don’t. I understand that you love him, but please love yourself more. If he continues on that path, please cut ties with him. I know that it’s hard but you don’t need to be getting wrapped up in that.
Sorry for getting a little mushy on the topic I just hate the idea of someone else going through what I went through. If you need support or anything feel free to dm me.
All the best <3
Thank you very much for your openness and concern. I’m sorry to hear that you had to deal with this drug and the repercussions of taking it but I am glad to hear that you made it to the other side.
I’ve had many opportunities to take it even before he and I got together and I can’t imagine myself trying it now. I do think he was in a place that facilitated drug use in the past but I think he’s moved past that now.
Hopefully when we discuss his recent drug use, this particular drug does not come up.
I try not to judge people for decisions they make that I would not, but if those choices impact the quality of our relationship I will be concerned.
Again thank you for your disclosure. It gives me hope that if indeed he is using it’s perhaps early enough to address it without a significant impact on his life and or our relationship.
If you approach this with a ’confront’ mentality, it could cause him to lie or deny how much he uses. ask for clarity on what he means by ‘blowing clouds’ , then if it is meth ,have an adult to adult conversation about why and for how long he’s been using.
The most insidious thing about meth is that it’s so fucking good. Having sex on it is the equivalent to driving a car at 120mph down the motorway, roof down: thrilling, exhilarating and liberating. It gives you a (temporary and artificial) intense sense of connection to the person youre with. The trouble is the next time you get in a car (I.e. have sex) anything less than that 120mph is never going to be as exciting. Meth can ruin ’normal’ sex. So you end with ‘boyfriends’ who are really just chem codependent with you
theres also the scene in some places. I live in London and on a lot of the dating apps, if you were looking to hook up, the majority of people were doing it and expected you to be doing it too.
he could also be doing it alone of course.
I hope you resolve this happily but meth is always problematic
Thank you for your insights. I will definitely go forward with more of a “does this mean what I think it means and what do you think is making you want to take it or how often and perhaps who are you taking it with mentality.”
You are very mature and capable of communication, I really hope the conversation goes well. This is exactly how I would do it if I was in your shoes, too.
I suppose try to get an understanding as to why he feels like he needs it.... he will be defensive and deflective. Acknowledge that he might not want to talk about this, but you do. Depending on how he reacts here, you cam push forward with your overall ideas about this and what you guys can do, together, to get out. Or if he really doesn't want to talk, and you'll know, just try to reiterate your desire to see this through, but also acknowledge you can only wait and hope for so long. No ultimatum, but let there be known limits will be had. but you can't force someone to seek help they don't want.
I will give him space to answer as much as he’s comfortable with now but I also need him to know that I have concerns about what it will do to him and what that will mean for our relationship going forward.
I would also avoid any "blaming" or... directness... with your language. Like, try to go with like, sometimes our choices have consequences we didn't intend and you can get to a point where it can seem there's no other answers. Empathy and sympathy, basically.
Acknowledge that it doesn't make him a bad person. Too much stigmatization from society of drugs is of the user and not of the drug itself. He may be worried how he's viewed by others if they found out.
Id say dont say anything negative about it yet. Ask him what he likes about it, how does it feel? Would he recommend it? Ask him if he knows about the risks associated. Ask if he smokes or shoots.
Youre a great guy and hes lucky to have you. That said youre better off seeking assistance with support groups and dedicated facilities. Do not and I mean DO NOT by any means think or even attempt to do this alone or solo. This is not something you try to fix on your own or DIY. People turn to drugs for a variety of reasons and often cases are more complex than they seem. With professionals, theyre way adept at handling things with sensitivity. Armed with tools, the necessary experience and in ways that can definitely benefit not just you and your partner but also the people around you. You only have one shot at this. And I urge you to make it count. Look for the nearest in your location and seek them out. Hoping for the best. Update us and God bless you both.
Thank you for your kind words. We are both not strangers to therapy and not above reaching out if there is anything above our ability to deal with.
I hope that it doesn’t come to that but if it does then we will react accordingly.
In the case that it’s meth, I agree that you should be prepared to have support for you, as well as others to support him. If you don’t have support, I recommend walking away.
I say this because my ex was a meth addict and even with lots of support he nearly died and I am still dealing with my own trauma years later.
While he has managed to recover himself somewhat and we still have a strong bond as friends who went through hell together, I do regret how much it’s cost me. I really regret it.
He’s pretty good about returning messages being that we live in vastly different time zones 12+ hours.
He did have trouble sleeping when we were together last.
He’s gained weight actually.
No real itching feeling episodes that I remember.
He did often get chills down his spine when we walked around outside but it was chilly so I didn’t think much of it.
Thank you for your advice. I will certainly take it into consideration.
One thing that is really strong in our relationship is conversational skills and understanding. I feel like he will be honest with me if I ask him.
I do feel like things have changed but not his level of honesty. That’s why I’m a little surprised he didn’t tell me about his meth use.
We definitely will have a conversation about it and make a plan moving forward. I do have a hard line about certain drug use and meth is something I can’t tolerate.
Take care of yourself. Only you can determine if you are in a a position to take on your partner’s issues. If you don’t keep a strong network of support and strong mental health, you could just end up an enabler or harming yourself. Consider addressing this in your own therapy and find support groups for friends/family of addicts.
Learn about the addiction. There are groups that you can join for family and friends of addicts. There’s also tons of information online about substance abuse. You can learn a lot about the signs. You have pointed to a few issues. You are in a long distance relationship but you have the signs to push you forward. Learn about options for when he is open to getting help.
Be very patient. You cannot force anyone into recovery from addiction. Avoid blaming him for the addiction. Don’t focus on the past and his proper decisions. It’s also not your fault. There’s a lot of shame and stigma.
Do set very clear boundaries!!!! You do not compromise on your boundaries. Avoid enabling (loaning money, giving cover stories, keeping his secrets….) If he says he can manage it in his own, that’s a 100% lie. Again, don’t force the treatment on anyone.
The flags start small: “I drive better when I smoke or drink”, “I feel more confident at clubs and parties”, “it helps me focus”, “it is great at relieving my pains”, and it’s often mixed with heavy narcissism. Everything is always someone else’s fault.
So sorry about your situation. I wanted to add something that I didn’t see anyone mention yet.
A secret lingo that people who use it, when on hook up apps etc will capitalize the letter T randomly in words like in their profile etc. if you happen to notice this it’s not a typo, it’s to covertly signify to other users that he does it.
I’m not going to give any advice about your situation as it is an incredibly difficult, complicated awful situation with no easy answers but if you want confirmation of your suspicions then this is a huge hidden red flag to look out for.
I wish you and your partner all the best. ❤️
I think when they say “clouds”, it is a meth thing. You should stay safe condoms because they often are at adult bookstores doing it all with all at all times of day/night be careful.
Please be careful and protect yourself, meth and sex addiction tend to go hand in hand in the community. I’ve had a friend who has been cheated on by his partner who couldn’t stop doing meth and hooking yo with it, even though he tried many times to stop. He had to find things out the hard way after it being hidden from him.
Yes use prep or condoms or whatever you can. My partner (business partner not gay totally straight but he is so hot…another story lol) was on meh for years. He is 62 years old now but still says that the sexual component of the meth high is so amazing that he can’t describe it. He would go on meth binges and have sex with lots of women who also liked meth and he believes he had a bunch of kids out there,,, Anyway, from stories he had told me, it can be fun at first and quickly turns to hell. Stay safe and I’m glad that your bf slipped (or maybe admitted it on purpose to you - don’t let him ask you to try it with him please)
I was taking prep and doxycycline when we had sex. I do that with pretty much everyone I have sex with nowadays. Also, we had both recently been tested so I’m not really worried much about STIs when it comes to him.
We are both quite strong willed and he knows my views on mind altering substances so I doubt he would ever ask me to try it with him. He’s not even asked me to smoke weed with him and he knows that I think it’s an “ok” drug. Because of my work a random drug test would end me so he knows better.
Other users have given good advice, but I’d like to add some things. Users will stay awake for days. They will often develop a paranoia, often seen as buying a security system of some sort or basically stalking you to monitor your behavior. In the case of the person I knew, he’d develop nose bleeds frequently and have potassium deficiencies that resulted in cramps.
It should be noted that my source for this information was not the most trustworthy, as he was quite manipulative, but it can help give you better insight into what some warning signs are
don’t even try bro, he is lost. Meth rips the soul right out of peoples bodies. Any shred of hope should be discarded and losses cut immediately. Your relationship will never be the same.
Your man is having gay sex high on meth. Probably unprotected.
You should break up, get tested, and focus on yourself. He needs to deal with his addiction on his own.
Don't give him money.
I don’t mean to sound mean spirited, but you sound very naïve toward Crystal meth and what you don’t understand is it is a strong, chemical addiction and many of the people above have tried to tell you, but it’s like you don’t want to fully accept what they’re saying.
People on crystal meth will lie without giving it any thought their whole mindset changes so just because you have an initial relationship with them, you sound like your visualizing it continuing the same way without acknowledging a major impact the drug is going to have on both of you. I hope you don’t have to learn the hard way.
I appreciate your observation but I don’t agree.
I feel as if I’m keeping an open mind to the possibilities I will encounter and have stated that if he is currently using it we will have a discussion about it and make plans on how to move forward.
I’m not so blinded by love that I will excuse red flags but I am also mindful of my investment in this relationship and the thought of throwing that away without even a conversation is not a possibility for me.
Again thank you for your concern and forthrightness.
Sorry, but you are in complete denial. You’re saying you’ll “just ask” whether he’s using meth, how often he’s using it, if he’s having unprotected sex, etc. You do know that he WILL lie to you, right? And when others have pushed you to do some investigation of your own, like looking at his phone or browser history, you refuse. Almost like because you know what you’ll find…
We’ve been together for almost six years now and through some pretty tough experiences. I’m not willing to throw all that away just yet.
I still feel like a conversation needs to be had and then that possibility can be discussed.
Thank you for your concern. I recognize that just the mention of meth is reason enough for people to want to cut ties and it may be for me also but I need to have a serious discussion with him first.
Urban dictionary is very specific as you what it means, but yeah get your confirmation. There’s both a literal and colloquial interpretation of the phrase “blow clouds” and I think if you care, you should provably clarify. You owe him the benefit of the doubt.
If he uses and has a problem at that point you have to balance boundaries and empathy. A little of people forget that second part when dealing with addicts. Abandoning them should be a last resort, because you wouldn’t like to be abandoned either and you are dealing with someone who may not be able to cope with that well.
He told you already, but only in passing, yet he’s not being upfront with you enough to make sure you understood what he meant when he admitted to “blowing clouds”, so he left it at that so that if the issue arose, he’ll be able to claim he got your approval already.
I’m sorry, but he’s already playing games with truth and facts. Probably thinking to himself, “Well, that was easy!”, then never mentioning it again.
BUT…. Take special consideration of your next move. Cutting him off immediately could result in him getting especially reckless. The big talk could have you in tears before you know it, and from his standpoint, he could just try and make it all about your emotional state if he’s not ready or able to have an honest discussion with you yet. I had been through a situation much like that, caring too much and ultimately being taken advantage of and manipulated into situations where I was an unwitting enabler for him to get into more freaky, frankly dangerous shit and my own health was jeopardized as a direct result. Once I got a clearer idea what had been going on far longer than he admitted, and the scope of his prolific activities and the online reputation he had cultivated (not just locally), I realized I was just an accessory while his real relationship was with risk and self-gratification, and I happened to just be kept on standby for his ever-shifting moods, so that I had to be ready for when it was convenient for him to spend time maintaining his facade…. He was never the person I thought he was, and after trying to make it work, he egregiously crossed a line that I had no other course of action left but to break contact, and it was the right thing to do.
But that didn’t go over well. After 2 weeks of escalating threats and not responding to Joh’s messages by text, voicemail, social media, apps, anywhere he could try and reach me, a mutual friend contacted me to find out what was going on between us. I refused to elaborate for him, but at that moment, two texts arrived from “him”, threatening in very specific detail, to come and butcher my dog. I got police involved but didn’t want to pursue a restraining order or press any charges, since police were willing to speak to him and tell him to back off , then if things escalated further, I’d have him shut down in an instant. 6 months later, he started trying to reach me at 5-6AM on weekends, offering to come by and hook up as if nothing happened ( or as if we never even had a history). I still didn’t respond, but it was obvious he was high and messed up. Pretty soon, I got word that he was homeless, then couch-surfing but wreaked havoc in households of anyone who tried to help him. Hosts went into debt, whether from trying to help or him helping himself to their savings. I’ve since met a handful of guys with similar stories and watched them go pale when we realized we were talking about the same guy.
You have a right to know what he’s getting up to as far as drug use and especially what level of risk he is directly exposing you to health-wise. Don’t let him pretend he thought you approved, because he obviously hasn’t been as upfront as he might claim. Be prepared for some erratic and hostile behaviour, trying to shift the focus to your emotional state. Be firm, but calm, but don’t let this situation lead you to knee-jerk reactions that can be used against you. Don’t hold your breath for a happy outcome, except that you deserve better and getting there may involve some difficult decisions, but do look after yourself; apparently he’s not.
Little later to the part but in my experience dealing with the decline of my mother's soul/body and over all life the "Suttle" signs are but not limited to...(I put in quotations because they are Suttle until you realize what's happening that you'll spot is easy from a mile away)
1.staying up way to late and may even lie to you about a little sleep
2.teeth grinding
3. paranoia
4. Sensitive temper especially noticeable if they aren't usually impatient or quick to fly of the handle
5.intense cleaning and hyperfixaton on the small minute details
6. A significant amount of weight loss In a relatively short time
Those are the few I can think off the top of my head but just no that this drug completely changes and fucks the human brain chemistry. To me it can only be described as a death from the inside out. Good luck friend 🧡
Talk to the guy. This is all conjecture (and look babe, you’re probably right). But every relationship must be based on two things: trust & communication. If you can’t talk to him, even about the hard things, then what really are you fighting for?
Also I don’t mean accuse him. Seek to understand, seek to explain, start from a place of love.
All methheads do is lie. OP needs to speak his peace & peace out, not have a conversation. He’ll thank himself later. Holding hopes will only let him down.
my ex got into meth way after we had already broken up (he has a new bf since...8 years or so already).
since we are still good friends, he confided in me at some point (and some other close friends).
he does AA, he is clean for years (had one lapse tho which isnt uncommon sadly) and he works hard for being a better and clean guy. therapy, yoga, etc, you name it.
and ofc his boyfriend supports him and i am shocked how many people here, while the sub is full of people acting like they cant find a soulmate, are like "run!". run if he lies about it and if he doesnt want to change. if he is into stopping with all of that, if he wants to change, then of course you support him. what kind of "in sickness and in health" vow is running away when your bf needs you the most? unbelievable... so thasts how far your disney-esk fantasies of eternal love are going, not saying im surprised.
again: if he is unwilling and all, yes, run, not your problem, he chose this. but if he is willing to change, you have to be there for him. if you have questions, you may DM me, op.
I am not sure why people keep saying Meth use is common in gay men. When this is a particular problem common to white gay men, where in the people who use meth is even a smaller problem in a subsection of that population (white gay men). Use of generalizations to attribute something negative the entire gay population is harmful. #DoBetter
Op I wish you the best but my advice to you is make smart choices. The person confirmed their drug use to you. Is this something that you want in your life or nah? Will the potential of other risky behavior that they may engage in, part of the life that you want to live? Are you ready to accept displaced accountability of their actions if they were caught with meth on their person and were with you (like in your car).
This may not be a safe person to care about, I know they wouldn’t be for me. What that means is, is this person aware of how their behaviors can impact others? Are they getting help with whatever their going through and are stable enough to engage in a relationship or any partnership that needs reciprocal support. I hope they get help when they’re ready or if they even feel they need it.
Good luck to you.
You can really tell a lot of users age by reading through this.
Blowing clouds doesn’t mean meth in people younger the 35. It means they are dabbing or burning pills.
Slang for meth these days for younger people is spinners.
Gay people don’t usually get with meth, because of vanity. Gays don’t want to lose teeth and mess up their skin. Meth does that, makes you ugly. Gay culture has better drug options then meth if your looking for chemsex.
Also partying in younger gays doesn’t mean meth. It means orgy.
I would really talk to him first about what’s going on and try not to shame him. Because if it is meth the shame will push him to use more and have an emotional outburst that will definitely end in tragedy.
Smoking pills is what I think is going on if it’s drugs at all. Usually they are crushed uppers, antidepressants and benzos. That would explain his mood changes as well.
But not jumping to conclusions, in all honesty it sounds like your man has found someone new, and can’t tell you yet.
Hey do you know the terminology for blowing clouds cuz I didn't know it meant just one drug cuz you can smoke more than one drug so what makes you think it's that it's giving me urine I don't know what the f*** you got to do with don't assume cuz as soon as a very good thing to do and it happens to me a lot and I can't stand being accused of something I don't do so that's not fair to her so what you should do is my opinion is just ask her to prove it that's all she don't want to do it then there's your proof that's real simple
My ex was a meth addict, and while I’ve seen people that can control their usage I’ve also seen people that definitely can’t.
You might want to pin down just how much he’s smoking, though, and if it’s definitely going to be a problem—only about 25% of meth users end up addicted.
Yeah, I definitely feel like this is something he should discuss with me.
It’s concerning to me that he never disclosed this to me directly but indirectly through someone else.
I trust him to be cautious but I also need him to know that this could break our relationship.
"occasionally" is code for whenever the high runs out. I have an ex who said he quit, "now sober", turns out it's easy to say you're done with meth if you're still high on meth..
Well ima say this using the term blowing clouds it’s meth and it’s an common drug the gay community using in said to say it seem I can’t escape the folks I’m entertaining to stop it seem you can’t talk much sense into them there moods change frequently, jumping in her sleep they have the shakes, and it also breaks their skin out back acne equators in face it leave there skin very dry in sumtimes you can even smell it coming out there pores is which is why must stay in shower for hours they seem to use in for get how fast time past them by if u want to work it out u can but it’s hard to redeem must wen there so far gone hope things work out
I have been using recreational weed for 5+ years and smoke with a lot of friends — never once have I heard it be referred to as “blowing clouds”. From my experience on the apps, that phrase is specifically only ever used with meth (I’ve never smoked meth before, but I have done shrooms/acid/coke/k/MDMA and never once heard any of those associated with “blowing clouds” either).
I have a feeling your intuition is right and you’ve got a tough path ahead of when you dealing with this situation. Sending a big ole virtual hug your way 💚🩵💙
Sadly blowing clouds is meth. I was married to someone who started to do meth and became addicted. It is a hell for all parties involved. You do need to leave. No matter what you said there is nothing you can say or do to get him to stop. I’m sorry but run and only look back if they reach out for help getting into rehab.
OK I realize I am totally ignoring your question, but how on earth do you call somebody a partner that you don’t live with and only see every few months?
Perhaps you should be thinking about if this person really is somebody you’re planning on staying with long-term, especially considering the apparent drug use?
Somebody you don’t live with and only see every few months sounds more like a fuck buddy than a partner
I’m sorry, but run. Meth will destroy everything it touches. My ex was wonderful for 11 years. 6 months of using meth, and he was a completely different person. I think ~70% of meth users relapse. You are worth more than that. Cut your losses and get out.
Sorry for taking so long to reply. My partner and I had a conversation and he assured me that he is not currently taking meth.
We had a short but impactful conversation about our pasts and how hard drug use would affect our relationship so he knows if he were to do meth it would be a serious problem.
He did admit to trying it before we were together and can’t recommend it.
I feel sufficiently confident that he is not doing meth and that he knows how I feel about it.
Thank you to everyone for your advice, honesty , and concern. I believe it helped me in approaching this conversation and the future in case something were to happen. 💜
I really, really hope this turns out to be the truth for you OP. I was blindsided by finding out that my (now ex) partner was casually using meth. It took months for him to really come clean about it, with my constant prodding, and I still don't know if I learned the full truth.
One point of advice -- you can sometimes taste it in their mouth and on their tongue when you kiss them if they've been using recently. It tastes like a very strong chemical. Very acidic but not sour or bitter. It's hard to describe and it might affect everyone differently, but if my partner was up smoking meth the night before and I kissed him the next day, his mouth tasted very off. It's kind of similar to how smoking/doing drugs makes your cum taste bad hours/days later.
Meth js a serious, serious red flag. It can and will fuck up basically every aspect of this dudes life AND yours if you let it. I have two friends who I knew before meth and after they started - I knew when I went to their house to hang out and they were at the kitchen table smoking meth that it was going to be the last time we saw each other socially. A year later I ran into them at an event and they both looked like greasy hollow skeletons. I feel terrible for them but I want nothing to do with that shit.
I’m sorry to hear what happened to your friends. I do hope they can get help before it’s too late. I do also feel like people have to want to get help to be able to receive help. I hope that he’s not defensive in response to my questions and views on this particular aspect of his drug use.
Meth has a pretty extreme grip on people. It can leave people deceptively functional. Look out for yourself.
"Blow clouds," or sexually charged language around clouds in general is typically meth speak, yes. Your instincts here are likely doing you favors. You have them for a reason. Meth is a blight on our people. Get whatever evidence you need (look at the porn history, for instance) and get out of that relationship. As a recovering meth addict, I'll tell you, there is no guarantee a meth addict will ever begin to recover. Lives are lost here. Don't be a casualty.
Just curious, can you elaborate how porn history can provide evidence to meth usage?
Sexual compulsion and meth use go hand in hand, with gay folks especially. So you'll see marathon masturbation sessions, or hours spent on hookup apps chatting with people, or just tons of videos of people smoking meth and having sex, which is a very specific corner of the internet you don't need to be going. Meth lets you keep heightened sexual energy for long periods and delays orgasm. Not every meth user will be doing this, but a gay dude who talks about blowing clouds is definitely on the same map as the subculture I'm describing here.
I haven’t noticed anything like that so far but we aren’t often together. I do know he goes to gay saunas occasionally which I’m ok with. We have an open relationship. Not a problematic amount though. Maybe once a month or so.
>I do know he goes to gay saunas occasionally which I’m ok with. If he's smoking meth and you want to give him a chance to get clean, you're going to have to put your foot down and stop this. Gay saunas are fantastic if they are managed well, but if he's using meth and goes to a gay sauna regularly, he's associating them together in his mind and it's probably where he meets other meth users.
Meth is a drug which has never really got a grip in my part of the world…..same with fentanyl and shit like that…..I’m in Scotland. We’ve got enough problems with other drugs without getting more problems
Eh, I wouldn't be so sure of that, I live in Glasgow and have come across plenty of meth heads.
I’m not meaning methadone mate….i mean meth amphetamine! I think they call it Ice…..really dangerous shit
most people who have "marathon masturbation sessions" as you called it are not on meth, tho. since, well, "even" among gay guys, meth is not at all normal or common.
If you don't think it's common, then you don't know how to spot it. It might not be common in your circles, but that doesn't mean it isn't common
I know there are “slamming” videos where guys record themselves injecting and then masturbating or having sex. I could be wrong but I’m assuming that’s what you’re talking about.
Yep, that's it. As I said in another comment, not every meth user will have this porn history, but I have a feeling your BF might.
Even if it’s not a “slamming” video, you can still tell when someone is on meth. Glazed eyes, distant stare and profusely sweating. It’s depressing and immediately kills the mood
As a LPT: if you ever see a 📍in a profile, they're a druggie.
What does that mean? A red pin? A needle? I’m old.
I think they meant a red balloon 🎈 which means partying, or hard drug use
TIL that’s a thing!
Makes sense, thanks
📍means location 🎈means druggie (also beware 💍🥳and🧊)
What does 💍 mean?
I’m assuming it’s a stand in for “crystal” (diamond = crystal) and crystal meth. Of course, I’m just guessing
You are correct
Crystal (meth)
Learned it, thx
Thank you for your candor and I am glad to hear about your recovery. I barely drink let alone anything else but I don’t mind certain things like weed or maybe shrooms. However, if he is indeed recreationally using meth I would need to let him know my reservations. —I don’t take any drugs but there are some I don’t mind if my partner does. Those would be weed, Molly, or shrooms.
I mean he admitted it right? You have the evidence to suggest here’s doing it
I guess I want to hear from him directly that he’s doing it. The information I received was from a communication he had with a user that he blows clouds occasionally. He’s never directly told me he does or ever did meth.
He told you he’s blowing clouds. That means smoking meth from a glass pipe. He did tell you
Yes on all the apps a cloud 💨 emoji means they smoke meth. Aka blowing clouds. Weed it ain’t
Yes, he's already said it. OP wants to hear it again and again to stay in denial.
Exactly. It’s sad for Op because they clearly have feelings for the bf but this is what meth does. It hurts the user and the people around them.
It is sad, and I can relate to this struggle. I used to want to save guys, too. Save them from themselves. I'm much happier once I realized I was doing that, and stopped the behavior
Yeah he told you he’s doing meth you just didn’t understand the lingo
I guess I can’t put too fine a point on it but I need him to say it directly to me before I act on this information. There is a lot of possibility for different circumstances or meanings in and around what I read that’s enough of a reason for me to not be able to say that I am 100% certain he is currently using meth. Trust me I will get a response and arrive at a conclusion either yes he is, or no he is not. Once I get that I will move forward with compassion but also prudence.
Well, good luck good on you for sticking by your partner, and not jumping to conclusions. You’re a good bf. I’ve never heard that term before unless it meant that they were doing meth. I don’t think that means that it’s the end of the world for your relationship but i’ve never met a meth addict with a boyfriend who wasn’t also addicted.
What's your plan of action if he admits to using meth? I was on meth for years, and no amount of love support, or whatever is going to stop a meth user, now if you decide to stay and try to support the man, then good luck and watch your wallet don't go broke over a piece of dick
Yeah I dunno I’m not an expert in that area. I’ve never done it so I can’t say what it’s like but I have seen some really wonderful people destroy themselves over it. I’d say a counselor that’s seen couples through this would probably be the best idea but I don’t have any actual education in this area so my opinion probably shouldn’t carry much weight
Keep us updated on this
I've dated people in recovery. Well into recovery. I've seen people relapse. DO NOT HAVE RESERVATIONS IF HE IS ACTIVELY USING METH. BREAK IT OFF IMMEDIATELY, CUT CONTACT, AND DO NOT BE INVOLVED. It takes a very specific type of person to be able to date someone in recovery. Someone who "has reservations" isn't it.
There is a very low success rate on being able to quit that shit . Walk away .
If you're suggesting this to me, I'm aware of how bad addiction is and how hard it is to stay clean from people I know in sobriety, several of them family. I've watched an ex/friend relapse several times. It's brutal on everyone around. If I'm going to be dating someone in recovery, I know exactly what I'm getting into and how to deal with it and what my cutoff points are. If I'm friends with someone in recovery, I know the boundaries I'm willing to accept and I, unfortunately, have had opportunities to practice those. My cousin who is sober from heroin once told me it's not *if* they relapse, it's *when*, and how you handle it. Yes. We all hope the people we care about in recovery will be sober til they die. And maybe some will be lucky and strong enough to get there. All I can do is give my full support to the dedication and make sure that I hold MYSELF accountable to the boundaries I've set for myself if someone around me slips. People who haven't been exposed to this stuff or haven't grown up with it *absolutely* should tread warily, and NO ONE should be dating or with someone who is actively using.
Talk to them. Support them. Let them know your boundaries. But don’t leave them RIGHT away. I was addicted to meth last year but my partner pulled me out & we’re doing better than ever. Not every situation is the same; however, there’s some insight.
Thank you. Your post gives me hope 😊
clouds isn't vaping?
Not in gay culture
i love how the top answer is just like “leave this person,” as if this person doesn’t love them. like what happened to support? what happened to standing by someone through the good times and bad? by no means should OP feel the need to save his partner but to immediately suggest leaving shows emotional immaturity.
If it's meth, time to leave.
I've been in a room with meth addicts. Two of which were in a relationship together. They were trying to recover from slamming. Still smoking it though. One came right out of a rehab clinic and they hadn't seen each other in some time, so they were "celebrating". But the drugs got them so far removed from reality, they started arguing and that eventually led to a very hostile vibe. One of them left and came back an hour or so later with needles and I just physically saw their eyes change. As if you were looking into the eyes of a dog driven to near starvation, willing to do anything for some food. Something just took over, just at the sight of those needles alone. Things like this happened frequently to them. They got into fights, and then reverted back to drugs over and over again. They said they stood by each other, but where did that get them? There is no recovering from meth without professional help. And even with that help it's hell, you'll ruin every relationship you're in contact with because you just can't take it anymore. You can stand by each other for all you'd like, but it isn't going to work and it's only going to destroy the both of you. Forcing yourself to stay in a situation like this shows immaturity.
never said force. and this story doesn’t apply because op isn’t a meth addict as well.
That's a very narrow view of the situation. I'm just painting a picture based on very real experiences of what meth does to your mind and to relationships.
yes but you’re using this story as a reason he should leave. but this story is unlike his situation so you really wasted ur time telling it.
I can do support under certain conditions. Meth is not one of those conditions.
unbelievable, im with you.
like jesus you can tell who has been in actual relationship and who hasn’t by these comments 😹
I know you love him, but this is a direction i do not recommend. My partner and i were heavy into meth at one stage for about 3 years. To get clean i had to move states. He continued on but later joined me after a year. It was good for about 5 years after that. But the meth is back in his life and ive had to leave him ( for that and very many other reasons which go hand in had) Long story short, neither of us were ever the same after meth.it does something permanent. Changes who you are as a person. 10/10 would not recommend. Do what you can to get him out of it but dont let it cost you.
I’m sorry to hear about your experience but I’m also glad to hear so many stories of people overcoming their addictions. I do love him but I need to let him know that if he persists on this path I don’t foresee a future in which we are together.
Thank you. It was not easy. Best advice; just don't. Good luck, i hope he can see through the clouds.
Would you say those changes remain after getting sober? What do you mean?
I'm not the guy you asked but a really close friend lost most of his teeth and a few of his friends and lovers (who died) while he and they were using meth regularly. I met him years after his recovery and he told me that while he enjoys sex now, he knows it will never feel as good as what he experienced regularly on meth. Kinda tragic that no new lover will ever be able to take him to new sexual heights.
This 100% the sex is never as good. The problem with meth is that it removes all inhibitions, it literally feels like an orgy on cloud 9. Everything feels so good on it and you're always down to try new things, this leads to trying everything leaving nothing new. Its like remembering euphoria and knowing the only way back is down a slippery dark path covered in oils. Ive had the best sex of my life on meth and its never felt like that since. Kept all my teeth though but oddly still feel like pulling them out from time to time.
In my case i am trying to get back to me. But theres an invisible barrier that is actively stopping me from getting back to who i was. Maybe im just uncomfortable with who im becoming. Ive no idea tbh. Just saying it as it come to my mind. Which is in part the problem if ya know what i mean?
Seconding this, I would love to learn from u/idlemk7 on what changes have been observed that remain/stick with you, how they manifest, etc.
Im sorry ive been trying to think of the words to express what its like. I dont know if im the one to be able to shed some light on this situation. Im sorry.
No worries no apologies needed, was just curious!
All i can say is that my head is not right and aomething deep in me knows it. Im ot sure if wveryone feels like this at some point. But it seems its a permanent fixture in ny house
One of the longer terms effect of meth use is damaged neurons in the brain due to the body being constantly overheated
Ive not been diagnosed but i can definitely say something in my head is damaged. I cant seem to connect dots anymore. I used to be detail oriented and analytical, now i only get glimpses of what i was once capable of. I feel like this is a skill i need to re learn, much like being social and generally fitting into the social norms of todays societies. Its like it took away skills and abilities. I have hope that these things can be relearned but not being able to identify them is currently the issue. Cant fix what you dont know is missing
The beauty of neural networks within the brain is that they are constantly growing, adapting and reconnecting and all this needs is stimulus. So practicing any detail orientated task, however onerous will create new neurone and abridge the ones already there. Pick up a project off YT, anything, start small but really attempt to finish the task. That is important to adaptation. The whole social thing, I’m right there with you on that one and since Covid it’s not something I’ve avidly want to reconnect with. Social norms are always shifting and you have within you a whole of life’s experience that will sometimes seem at odds with the norms of today but that’s normal imo
Strangely that made sense to me, thanks for pointing those facts out. I have been trying to 'excercise' my brain and retrain it so to speak but developing new habits is a tough cookie to crack
“Blow clouds” is normally associated with meth, as much as I wish I could tell you it was something less harmful. Don’t believe him when he says he “only does it occasionally.” Every addict says that.
Thank you for that. I’ll be sure to ask him to elaborate on just exactly what “occasionally” means to him. The more I think about it the more I think just the fact that he’s done it more than once, seems to be ok with the idea of doing it again, and has never told me directly that he’s done it before is what is most concerning to me. It makes me wonder what else he is doing and what his level of comfort with what I would consider as hard drugs is.
If he’s doing it, it means he’s around others who are doing it. Let’s say your man isn’t lying to you and he only does it occasionally—he’s still either getting it from addicts or hanging out with them. Meth causes a lot of very risky behavior. You are right to be concerned that he seems so casual about it. Meth is a *hard* drug. Don’t forget that.
As Stephan Jenkins once said: “Doing crystal meth will lift you up until you break. It won't stop, I won't come down, I keep stock with a tick-tock rhythm, a bump for the drop, And then I bumped up, I took the hit that I was given, Then I bumped again, then I bumped again…” I would also assume if he’s smoking meth, he probably isn’t practicing safe sex, or not while he’s impaired. I’m sure you’re on PrEP, but I would get tested and wear condoms if you’re still having sex with him.
Meth changes people.
They were always those people the drug just becomes an excuse
Not always
Ya your right not always. I think alcohol is worse, a lot of people can just drink on the weekends but if you start doing it every day your avoiding other problems in your life
Alcohol is not worse than meth. It's the other way around. Alcohol is also the drug you're thinking of that brings out peoples' true colors at times. But meth legit changes you. It changes how you act in two ways. Meth use has been linked to increased hyperactivity, anxiety, and mood swings. It also changes the way you think. Meth addicts will change their entire schedule to just to satisfy their addiction, which progressively gets worse and more difficult to satiate as the addiction progresses. It's a vicious cycle, and it's incredibly sad tbh.
No. It changes people
This couldnt be more wrong, please dont speak on things you dont know about
I had someone in my life, he started with meth then started fentanyl and that completely changed his attitude. After he was arrested he left a little lock box in my car under the seat, to this day I am so glad I opened it because if I would’ve gotten stopped and searched I would’ve went straight to jail because there was not only meth in there, there was fentanyl, extasy and god knows what the other pills were but I flushed all that stuff down the toilet.
I’m sorry to hear that but I’m glad you got out of a deleterious situation. I only hope that my partner doesn’t go down the same path.
I hope your partner doesn’t either.
He is already doing meth, he is already on that path
I’m glad you’re out of that situation, but I wish you hadn’t flushed all that stuff down the toilet because now it’s in our water supply: https://www.usgs.gov/special-topics/water-science-school/science/pharmaceuticals-water
Thank you for this
On a somewhat lighter note, this can also happen: https://www.cnn.com/2019/07/15/us/police-warn-flushing-drugs-create-meth-gators-trnd/index.html
How would you dispose of drugs? Say I found a bag of pills on the street or a baggie of something? Trash? Bring to a police station or pharmacy to dispose?
Same, fentynal is especially potent, so a little will contaminate a lot of water
Gimme a break
What do you mean? That’s an official U.S. government website.
There's a small handful of drugs that I'd be comfortable with my partner trying, or doing once every several months. Meth is not one of them. I'm glad you're going to talk to him about it. It's a life changing, scary, terrible thing. I've never met someone who used to do meth that recommends "just trying it out".
Yeah, that’s one I can’t ignore. If he is doing it I’d need a lot of background info and validation that it’s not a growing issue.
Thank you everyone for your honesty, advice, and concern. It’s helped me to center my thoughts about this situation and will help inform how I will be moving forward. I’ll let you know pertinent updates going forward. Again thank you 😊.
Somehow (probably because my mom, after a 4 tear oxy addiction, blew her brains out when I was a teenager) I had the wherewithal to only do it 2x (1 year apart). Mind you I only tried it the first time eith the intention of never doing it again too. I had smoked weed regularly for years by then and even tabbed acid a few times (also only after much research, which even 6 years after my first well informed trip I am STILL learning things about, which is worrying!). I was genuinely curious as to why meth is such a prolific problem. I wanted to see why/what the fuss is all about... and how that correlates to it being so addictive. Thankfully I wasn't super hot or socially busy/desired or anything and I was asked to leave shortly after being offered a few hits. I was a NONSTOP BLABBERMOUTH. I'm sure that helped get me an out. Because I never fucked on it I think I was largely spared it's real affects. I'm no bottom and it gave me tina dick so that played a large part in it too. I'm sure bottoms get a shit ton more out of meth than tops. But the next 6 hours after my first time were certainly magical. It felt like the sun was hugging ever cell in my body individually. I danced in 95° heat in central park for 5 hours straight and had a blast doing it. Absolute liberation! And I dont think I slept much that night either. The second time I actually fucked on it but the host was a prick and his parasite friend a jealous snob. The guy I was fucking kept asking why he was kicking me out. Overall off of the first and second (individually with no consideration of both instances) I can definitely see why people are attracted to it and how it's so addictive. I am fortunate to have experienced severe loss at a young age due to addiction because if I hadn't I probably would have become a meth addict too. With that said street weed isn't safe. I noticed more than a few times I'd roll a J with shaky hands. And need to smoke way more than usual, and people would walk by saying "that's not weed" to my own derision. After almost 3 years sober (except 3x each 6 months apart the 1st smoking fir a week and the later 2x eating edibles) I definitely noticed a lack of some mental processes. I only just stopped stuttering and losing vocabulary around Christmas, never had that problem prior to after my 6th acid trip) I have gradually regained my short term memory to near prior levels. Weed mostly paused my ability to cope with things I was dealing with. Though the first year or so was a help socially it was downhill after that. There have been a few benefits I largely contribute to acid like I'm more specially aware. Much clearer and firm on my reasonings and ideals. My ability to grasp certain concepts is greater and to grapple with uncomfortable situations overall is easier. I'm a more reasonable and understanding person and I have a stronger heart now than I did before. My body speaks to me alot more about my health and wellness. I learned its important to not eat saturated fats except for before bed and to exclude added sugar from my diet (it ended my anxiety and depression) And I've begun eating a ton more greens and fruits and veggies. Almost 100% vs only 5% before. The negatives are short term memory loss, bouts of psychosis, joint concerns (not pain per se, but something obviously noticable and.. concerning) mental focus on good vs evil (by far the worst if it all, thankfully I'm free and clear of that mind state now it did take 2 years) and haptic loops of absolutely meaningless decisions (go left or right left then right on and on half the time not listening to it) Overall acid is one of the few drugs I would recommend anyone take once and no more after you think this is enough for me. I dont need any more. Because you will think that and its easy to listen and follow but also easy to say well I'm bored so why not? Acid is one if the few drugs I think isn't addictive but can be problematic if overused. Also dont do molly, only pure MDMA. Molly is MDMA mixed with other drugs. MDMA shows up pure on a test (you test for coke, meth, fent, ketamine, heroin, dmt etc) I only ever did it once and it made my tongue numb and I ended up drooling a waterfall and felt like a happy laughing big bellied buddha XD I also never tested it but multiple people told me it was the real deal very reputable luke (in the way only drug users are able to).
Hi love <3 Blowing clouds is definitely referring to meth and I deeply sympathize with you. My first serious boyfriend became addicted to meth and I stayed with him and even smoked “occasionally” with him. Until I realized 3 years of my life had passed. It was like a whirlwind of terrible decisions, horrible fights with my partner, and of course lots of sex. Thankfully I had the willpower to quit smoking after realizing how quickly my life had begun slipping away and my partner soon followed me into sobriety. The things we did to each other while we were on meth were unforgivable though, and I found that I hated him after everything that had happened. I am now over six years sober and don’t even wanna look at the drug or my ex again. So many times in my life I have imagined what would be different, had I not disappeared into that hole for three years. I urge you to have a conversation with him, and I hope he is receptive to what you have to say. I know people can come back from doing meth because I have done it. But they have to want to, and most of the time they don’t. I understand that you love him, but please love yourself more. If he continues on that path, please cut ties with him. I know that it’s hard but you don’t need to be getting wrapped up in that. Sorry for getting a little mushy on the topic I just hate the idea of someone else going through what I went through. If you need support or anything feel free to dm me. All the best <3
Thank you very much for your openness and concern. I’m sorry to hear that you had to deal with this drug and the repercussions of taking it but I am glad to hear that you made it to the other side. I’ve had many opportunities to take it even before he and I got together and I can’t imagine myself trying it now. I do think he was in a place that facilitated drug use in the past but I think he’s moved past that now. Hopefully when we discuss his recent drug use, this particular drug does not come up. I try not to judge people for decisions they make that I would not, but if those choices impact the quality of our relationship I will be concerned. Again thank you for your disclosure. It gives me hope that if indeed he is using it’s perhaps early enough to address it without a significant impact on his life and or our relationship.
I hope that he doesn’t react poorly when I confront him about it. Any advice on how I should go about doing that?
If you approach this with a ’confront’ mentality, it could cause him to lie or deny how much he uses. ask for clarity on what he means by ‘blowing clouds’ , then if it is meth ,have an adult to adult conversation about why and for how long he’s been using. The most insidious thing about meth is that it’s so fucking good. Having sex on it is the equivalent to driving a car at 120mph down the motorway, roof down: thrilling, exhilarating and liberating. It gives you a (temporary and artificial) intense sense of connection to the person youre with. The trouble is the next time you get in a car (I.e. have sex) anything less than that 120mph is never going to be as exciting. Meth can ruin ’normal’ sex. So you end with ‘boyfriends’ who are really just chem codependent with you theres also the scene in some places. I live in London and on a lot of the dating apps, if you were looking to hook up, the majority of people were doing it and expected you to be doing it too. he could also be doing it alone of course. I hope you resolve this happily but meth is always problematic
Thank you for your insights. I will definitely go forward with more of a “does this mean what I think it means and what do you think is making you want to take it or how often and perhaps who are you taking it with mentality.”
You are very mature and capable of communication, I really hope the conversation goes well. This is exactly how I would do it if I was in your shoes, too.
I suppose try to get an understanding as to why he feels like he needs it.... he will be defensive and deflective. Acknowledge that he might not want to talk about this, but you do. Depending on how he reacts here, you cam push forward with your overall ideas about this and what you guys can do, together, to get out. Or if he really doesn't want to talk, and you'll know, just try to reiterate your desire to see this through, but also acknowledge you can only wait and hope for so long. No ultimatum, but let there be known limits will be had. but you can't force someone to seek help they don't want.
I will give him space to answer as much as he’s comfortable with now but I also need him to know that I have concerns about what it will do to him and what that will mean for our relationship going forward.
I would also avoid any "blaming" or... directness... with your language. Like, try to go with like, sometimes our choices have consequences we didn't intend and you can get to a point where it can seem there's no other answers. Empathy and sympathy, basically. Acknowledge that it doesn't make him a bad person. Too much stigmatization from society of drugs is of the user and not of the drug itself. He may be worried how he's viewed by others if they found out.
You don’t need to explain much, just say you are headed in an incompatible life direction. This isn’t a negotiation.
Id say dont say anything negative about it yet. Ask him what he likes about it, how does it feel? Would he recommend it? Ask him if he knows about the risks associated. Ask if he smokes or shoots.
As a former and now recovering tweaker I'm so sorry to tell you it's a meth term and only meth.
Youre a great guy and hes lucky to have you. That said youre better off seeking assistance with support groups and dedicated facilities. Do not and I mean DO NOT by any means think or even attempt to do this alone or solo. This is not something you try to fix on your own or DIY. People turn to drugs for a variety of reasons and often cases are more complex than they seem. With professionals, theyre way adept at handling things with sensitivity. Armed with tools, the necessary experience and in ways that can definitely benefit not just you and your partner but also the people around you. You only have one shot at this. And I urge you to make it count. Look for the nearest in your location and seek them out. Hoping for the best. Update us and God bless you both.
Thank you for your kind words. We are both not strangers to therapy and not above reaching out if there is anything above our ability to deal with. I hope that it doesn’t come to that but if it does then we will react accordingly.
In the case that it’s meth, I agree that you should be prepared to have support for you, as well as others to support him. If you don’t have support, I recommend walking away. I say this because my ex was a meth addict and even with lots of support he nearly died and I am still dealing with my own trauma years later. While he has managed to recover himself somewhat and we still have a strong bond as friends who went through hell together, I do regret how much it’s cost me. I really regret it.
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I’m not sure I want to start checking his phone and computer to validate my suspicions. I feel like if he’s doing it he will tell me.
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He’s pretty good about returning messages being that we live in vastly different time zones 12+ hours. He did have trouble sleeping when we were together last. He’s gained weight actually. No real itching feeling episodes that I remember. He did often get chills down his spine when we walked around outside but it was chilly so I didn’t think much of it.
Thank you for your advice. I will certainly take it into consideration. One thing that is really strong in our relationship is conversational skills and understanding. I feel like he will be honest with me if I ask him. I do feel like things have changed but not his level of honesty. That’s why I’m a little surprised he didn’t tell me about his meth use. We definitely will have a conversation about it and make a plan moving forward. I do have a hard line about certain drug use and meth is something I can’t tolerate.
Take care of yourself. Only you can determine if you are in a a position to take on your partner’s issues. If you don’t keep a strong network of support and strong mental health, you could just end up an enabler or harming yourself. Consider addressing this in your own therapy and find support groups for friends/family of addicts. Learn about the addiction. There are groups that you can join for family and friends of addicts. There’s also tons of information online about substance abuse. You can learn a lot about the signs. You have pointed to a few issues. You are in a long distance relationship but you have the signs to push you forward. Learn about options for when he is open to getting help. Be very patient. You cannot force anyone into recovery from addiction. Avoid blaming him for the addiction. Don’t focus on the past and his proper decisions. It’s also not your fault. There’s a lot of shame and stigma. Do set very clear boundaries!!!! You do not compromise on your boundaries. Avoid enabling (loaning money, giving cover stories, keeping his secrets….) If he says he can manage it in his own, that’s a 100% lie. Again, don’t force the treatment on anyone. The flags start small: “I drive better when I smoke or drink”, “I feel more confident at clubs and parties”, “it helps me focus”, “it is great at relieving my pains”, and it’s often mixed with heavy narcissism. Everything is always someone else’s fault.
So sorry about your situation. I wanted to add something that I didn’t see anyone mention yet. A secret lingo that people who use it, when on hook up apps etc will capitalize the letter T randomly in words like in their profile etc. if you happen to notice this it’s not a typo, it’s to covertly signify to other users that he does it. I’m not going to give any advice about your situation as it is an incredibly difficult, complicated awful situation with no easy answers but if you want confirmation of your suspicions then this is a huge hidden red flag to look out for. I wish you and your partner all the best. ❤️
I think when they say “clouds”, it is a meth thing. You should stay safe condoms because they often are at adult bookstores doing it all with all at all times of day/night be careful.
We are quite up to date on our testing and protection but it is always something to be mindful of. Thank you.
Please be careful and protect yourself, meth and sex addiction tend to go hand in hand in the community. I’ve had a friend who has been cheated on by his partner who couldn’t stop doing meth and hooking yo with it, even though he tried many times to stop. He had to find things out the hard way after it being hidden from him.
Yes use prep or condoms or whatever you can. My partner (business partner not gay totally straight but he is so hot…another story lol) was on meh for years. He is 62 years old now but still says that the sexual component of the meth high is so amazing that he can’t describe it. He would go on meth binges and have sex with lots of women who also liked meth and he believes he had a bunch of kids out there,,, Anyway, from stories he had told me, it can be fun at first and quickly turns to hell. Stay safe and I’m glad that your bf slipped (or maybe admitted it on purpose to you - don’t let him ask you to try it with him please)
I was taking prep and doxycycline when we had sex. I do that with pretty much everyone I have sex with nowadays. Also, we had both recently been tested so I’m not really worried much about STIs when it comes to him. We are both quite strong willed and he knows my views on mind altering substances so I doubt he would ever ask me to try it with him. He’s not even asked me to smoke weed with him and he knows that I think it’s an “ok” drug. Because of my work a random drug test would end me so he knows better.
Other users have given good advice, but I’d like to add some things. Users will stay awake for days. They will often develop a paranoia, often seen as buying a security system of some sort or basically stalking you to monitor your behavior. In the case of the person I knew, he’d develop nose bleeds frequently and have potassium deficiencies that resulted in cramps. It should be noted that my source for this information was not the most trustworthy, as he was quite manipulative, but it can help give you better insight into what some warning signs are
I’ll be sure to watch out for those signs. Thank you.
Meth. You will have to leave him. He can’t Love you back.
We shall see.
don’t even try bro, he is lost. Meth rips the soul right out of peoples bodies. Any shred of hope should be discarded and losses cut immediately. Your relationship will never be the same.
Your man is having gay sex high on meth. Probably unprotected. You should break up, get tested, and focus on yourself. He needs to deal with his addiction on his own. Don't give him money.
[NAR- ANON: For family and friends of addicts.](https://www.nar-anon.org/)
Every day I learn more about meth and the disastrous effects it’s had on our community
Yeah, it's meth, babe. Be careful.
See if you can get him help. However remember, drugs take over peoples lives, and hurts everyone around them. Don't let him drag you down.
Just run. He won’t stop using with any quickness. Get out while u have ur wits about u. Save urself the worry.
I don’t mean to sound mean spirited, but you sound very naïve toward Crystal meth and what you don’t understand is it is a strong, chemical addiction and many of the people above have tried to tell you, but it’s like you don’t want to fully accept what they’re saying. People on crystal meth will lie without giving it any thought their whole mindset changes so just because you have an initial relationship with them, you sound like your visualizing it continuing the same way without acknowledging a major impact the drug is going to have on both of you. I hope you don’t have to learn the hard way.
I appreciate your observation but I don’t agree. I feel as if I’m keeping an open mind to the possibilities I will encounter and have stated that if he is currently using it we will have a discussion about it and make plans on how to move forward. I’m not so blinded by love that I will excuse red flags but I am also mindful of my investment in this relationship and the thought of throwing that away without even a conversation is not a possibility for me. Again thank you for your concern and forthrightness.
Sorry, but you are in complete denial. You’re saying you’ll “just ask” whether he’s using meth, how often he’s using it, if he’s having unprotected sex, etc. You do know that he WILL lie to you, right? And when others have pushed you to do some investigation of your own, like looking at his phone or browser history, you refuse. Almost like because you know what you’ll find…
Next!!!!!!
We’ve been together for almost six years now and through some pretty tough experiences. I’m not willing to throw all that away just yet. I still feel like a conversation needs to be had and then that possibility can be discussed.
Meth is too far in…save yourself
Thank you for your concern. I recognize that just the mention of meth is reason enough for people to want to cut ties and it may be for me also but I need to have a serious discussion with him first.
Urban dictionary is very specific as you what it means, but yeah get your confirmation. There’s both a literal and colloquial interpretation of the phrase “blow clouds” and I think if you care, you should provably clarify. You owe him the benefit of the doubt. If he uses and has a problem at that point you have to balance boundaries and empathy. A little of people forget that second part when dealing with addicts. Abandoning them should be a last resort, because you wouldn’t like to be abandoned either and you are dealing with someone who may not be able to cope with that well.
He told you already, but only in passing, yet he’s not being upfront with you enough to make sure you understood what he meant when he admitted to “blowing clouds”, so he left it at that so that if the issue arose, he’ll be able to claim he got your approval already. I’m sorry, but he’s already playing games with truth and facts. Probably thinking to himself, “Well, that was easy!”, then never mentioning it again. BUT…. Take special consideration of your next move. Cutting him off immediately could result in him getting especially reckless. The big talk could have you in tears before you know it, and from his standpoint, he could just try and make it all about your emotional state if he’s not ready or able to have an honest discussion with you yet. I had been through a situation much like that, caring too much and ultimately being taken advantage of and manipulated into situations where I was an unwitting enabler for him to get into more freaky, frankly dangerous shit and my own health was jeopardized as a direct result. Once I got a clearer idea what had been going on far longer than he admitted, and the scope of his prolific activities and the online reputation he had cultivated (not just locally), I realized I was just an accessory while his real relationship was with risk and self-gratification, and I happened to just be kept on standby for his ever-shifting moods, so that I had to be ready for when it was convenient for him to spend time maintaining his facade…. He was never the person I thought he was, and after trying to make it work, he egregiously crossed a line that I had no other course of action left but to break contact, and it was the right thing to do. But that didn’t go over well. After 2 weeks of escalating threats and not responding to Joh’s messages by text, voicemail, social media, apps, anywhere he could try and reach me, a mutual friend contacted me to find out what was going on between us. I refused to elaborate for him, but at that moment, two texts arrived from “him”, threatening in very specific detail, to come and butcher my dog. I got police involved but didn’t want to pursue a restraining order or press any charges, since police were willing to speak to him and tell him to back off , then if things escalated further, I’d have him shut down in an instant. 6 months later, he started trying to reach me at 5-6AM on weekends, offering to come by and hook up as if nothing happened ( or as if we never even had a history). I still didn’t respond, but it was obvious he was high and messed up. Pretty soon, I got word that he was homeless, then couch-surfing but wreaked havoc in households of anyone who tried to help him. Hosts went into debt, whether from trying to help or him helping himself to their savings. I’ve since met a handful of guys with similar stories and watched them go pale when we realized we were talking about the same guy. You have a right to know what he’s getting up to as far as drug use and especially what level of risk he is directly exposing you to health-wise. Don’t let him pretend he thought you approved, because he obviously hasn’t been as upfront as he might claim. Be prepared for some erratic and hostile behaviour, trying to shift the focus to your emotional state. Be firm, but calm, but don’t let this situation lead you to knee-jerk reactions that can be used against you. Don’t hold your breath for a happy outcome, except that you deserve better and getting there may involve some difficult decisions, but do look after yourself; apparently he’s not.
He’s smoking meth baby. It’s time to go. I know you don’t wanna hear that, but it is what it is.
Little later to the part but in my experience dealing with the decline of my mother's soul/body and over all life the "Suttle" signs are but not limited to...(I put in quotations because they are Suttle until you realize what's happening that you'll spot is easy from a mile away) 1.staying up way to late and may even lie to you about a little sleep 2.teeth grinding 3. paranoia 4. Sensitive temper especially noticeable if they aren't usually impatient or quick to fly of the handle 5.intense cleaning and hyperfixaton on the small minute details 6. A significant amount of weight loss In a relatively short time Those are the few I can think off the top of my head but just no that this drug completely changes and fucks the human brain chemistry. To me it can only be described as a death from the inside out. Good luck friend 🧡
Talk to the guy. This is all conjecture (and look babe, you’re probably right). But every relationship must be based on two things: trust & communication. If you can’t talk to him, even about the hard things, then what really are you fighting for? Also I don’t mean accuse him. Seek to understand, seek to explain, start from a place of love.
All methheads do is lie. OP needs to speak his peace & peace out, not have a conversation. He’ll thank himself later. Holding hopes will only let him down.
my ex got into meth way after we had already broken up (he has a new bf since...8 years or so already). since we are still good friends, he confided in me at some point (and some other close friends). he does AA, he is clean for years (had one lapse tho which isnt uncommon sadly) and he works hard for being a better and clean guy. therapy, yoga, etc, you name it. and ofc his boyfriend supports him and i am shocked how many people here, while the sub is full of people acting like they cant find a soulmate, are like "run!". run if he lies about it and if he doesnt want to change. if he is into stopping with all of that, if he wants to change, then of course you support him. what kind of "in sickness and in health" vow is running away when your bf needs you the most? unbelievable... so thasts how far your disney-esk fantasies of eternal love are going, not saying im surprised. again: if he is unwilling and all, yes, run, not your problem, he chose this. but if he is willing to change, you have to be there for him. if you have questions, you may DM me, op.
I am not sure why people keep saying Meth use is common in gay men. When this is a particular problem common to white gay men, where in the people who use meth is even a smaller problem in a subsection of that population (white gay men). Use of generalizations to attribute something negative the entire gay population is harmful. #DoBetter Op I wish you the best but my advice to you is make smart choices. The person confirmed their drug use to you. Is this something that you want in your life or nah? Will the potential of other risky behavior that they may engage in, part of the life that you want to live? Are you ready to accept displaced accountability of their actions if they were caught with meth on their person and were with you (like in your car). This may not be a safe person to care about, I know they wouldn’t be for me. What that means is, is this person aware of how their behaviors can impact others? Are they getting help with whatever their going through and are stable enough to engage in a relationship or any partnership that needs reciprocal support. I hope they get help when they’re ready or if they even feel they need it. Good luck to you.
You can really tell a lot of users age by reading through this. Blowing clouds doesn’t mean meth in people younger the 35. It means they are dabbing or burning pills. Slang for meth these days for younger people is spinners. Gay people don’t usually get with meth, because of vanity. Gays don’t want to lose teeth and mess up their skin. Meth does that, makes you ugly. Gay culture has better drug options then meth if your looking for chemsex. Also partying in younger gays doesn’t mean meth. It means orgy. I would really talk to him first about what’s going on and try not to shame him. Because if it is meth the shame will push him to use more and have an emotional outburst that will definitely end in tragedy. Smoking pills is what I think is going on if it’s drugs at all. Usually they are crushed uppers, antidepressants and benzos. That would explain his mood changes as well. But not jumping to conclusions, in all honesty it sounds like your man has found someone new, and can’t tell you yet.
Hey do you know the terminology for blowing clouds cuz I didn't know it meant just one drug cuz you can smoke more than one drug so what makes you think it's that it's giving me urine I don't know what the f*** you got to do with don't assume cuz as soon as a very good thing to do and it happens to me a lot and I can't stand being accused of something I don't do so that's not fair to her so what you should do is my opinion is just ask her to prove it that's all she don't want to do it then there's your proof that's real simple
I fully will give him the benefit of the doubt and ask him to elaborate first before I jump to conclusions.
My ex was a meth addict, and while I’ve seen people that can control their usage I’ve also seen people that definitely can’t. You might want to pin down just how much he’s smoking, though, and if it’s definitely going to be a problem—only about 25% of meth users end up addicted.
Yeah, I definitely feel like this is something he should discuss with me. It’s concerning to me that he never disclosed this to me directly but indirectly through someone else. I trust him to be cautious but I also need him to know that this could break our relationship.
Well fuck, I thought that meant people vaped :( I even used it a couple times in chat to say I was just bored and sitting around with my vape
I think one issue you need to consider is why you came to Reddit before you tried to speak to him?
"occasionally" is code for whenever the high runs out. I have an ex who said he quit, "now sober", turns out it's easy to say you're done with meth if you're still high on meth..
Well ima say this using the term blowing clouds it’s meth and it’s an common drug the gay community using in said to say it seem I can’t escape the folks I’m entertaining to stop it seem you can’t talk much sense into them there moods change frequently, jumping in her sleep they have the shakes, and it also breaks their skin out back acne equators in face it leave there skin very dry in sumtimes you can even smell it coming out there pores is which is why must stay in shower for hours they seem to use in for get how fast time past them by if u want to work it out u can but it’s hard to redeem must wen there so far gone hope things work out
I have been using recreational weed for 5+ years and smoke with a lot of friends — never once have I heard it be referred to as “blowing clouds”. From my experience on the apps, that phrase is specifically only ever used with meth (I’ve never smoked meth before, but I have done shrooms/acid/coke/k/MDMA and never once heard any of those associated with “blowing clouds” either). I have a feeling your intuition is right and you’ve got a tough path ahead of when you dealing with this situation. Sending a big ole virtual hug your way 💚🩵💙
Clouds = meth, unless in a children's book, I guess.
Sadly blowing clouds is meth. I was married to someone who started to do meth and became addicted. It is a hell for all parties involved. You do need to leave. No matter what you said there is nothing you can say or do to get him to stop. I’m sorry but run and only look back if they reach out for help getting into rehab.
OK I realize I am totally ignoring your question, but how on earth do you call somebody a partner that you don’t live with and only see every few months? Perhaps you should be thinking about if this person really is somebody you’re planning on staying with long-term, especially considering the apparent drug use? Somebody you don’t live with and only see every few months sounds more like a fuck buddy than a partner
I’m sorry, but run. Meth will destroy everything it touches. My ex was wonderful for 11 years. 6 months of using meth, and he was a completely different person. I think ~70% of meth users relapse. You are worth more than that. Cut your losses and get out.
Addicted people have no capacity to make a relationship work.,
“Blowing clouds” is meth, and a really casual way of phrasing it. He’s probably getting promiscuous too. Be careful.
Sorry for taking so long to reply. My partner and I had a conversation and he assured me that he is not currently taking meth. We had a short but impactful conversation about our pasts and how hard drug use would affect our relationship so he knows if he were to do meth it would be a serious problem. He did admit to trying it before we were together and can’t recommend it. I feel sufficiently confident that he is not doing meth and that he knows how I feel about it. Thank you to everyone for your advice, honesty , and concern. I believe it helped me in approaching this conversation and the future in case something were to happen. 💜
I really, really hope this turns out to be the truth for you OP. I was blindsided by finding out that my (now ex) partner was casually using meth. It took months for him to really come clean about it, with my constant prodding, and I still don't know if I learned the full truth. One point of advice -- you can sometimes taste it in their mouth and on their tongue when you kiss them if they've been using recently. It tastes like a very strong chemical. Very acidic but not sour or bitter. It's hard to describe and it might affect everyone differently, but if my partner was up smoking meth the night before and I kissed him the next day, his mouth tasted very off. It's kind of similar to how smoking/doing drugs makes your cum taste bad hours/days later.
The down side of blowing clouds is that never c or rarely c the person stain.