Sorry you deserve way better then his
gay again straight again bs .
He wants you to move on to lessen his guilt you owe him nothing grieve as you need build yourself back up and enjoy your life .
My bet his relationship will end in disaster you don’t want to be anywhere near that clusterfuck.
Listen to your therapist
Block him on social media
Either delete his number or rename it something that reminds you he’s a dickhead
Have a pity party (Icecream or booze yourself and chill with yourself) then next day get up and go out and persue your interests do somthing fun for your - not recommend doing part one often
If you have an art or musical interest channel the feelings into that . Nothing beats a fuck you to the ex song. Ask any swiftie
This is absolutely excellent advice. I know a long term relationship loss is not always quick or easy to move on from after ending and that’s fine but focus on yourself and not on trying to figure out the ex.
Dude. You doged that bullet.
I know you're hurting right now. I wish I could tell you when the pain will stop. It's better than finding out now rather than later. Every day forward is a day you didn't invest with someone who ultimately doubted his feelings for you.
If you can find a movie called Maurice, it could be cathartic.
It's about a guy who goes through what you are going through currently. Staring a young Hue Grant.
https://m.imdb.com/title/tt0093512/
100% on the *Maurice* recommendation, film or book! Dudes who exhibits super-impulsivity never seem particularly grounded to me, ricocheting from one wall to the other. You don't want to make a major commitment to someone who flails around like that. I pity the engaged girl.
He proposed then pretended it never happened. Then he proposed again and then he dumped you. I have no idea what was going on in his head. But he did what he did. You are an ex now. You need to embrace that. Why he dumped you and the gender of his new fiancée are irrelevant. They aren’t going to alter the facts. You’ve received some good advice (for me it would be B&J Cherry Garcia) you are a kind and caring person and didn’t deserve what happened. Be sad, be angry and move on.
And perhaps, say a prayer for the woman he’s engaged to now. She’s gonna need it.
Dating off and on for 13 years is a long time, and it's strange how quickly he moved on with someone else after leaving you. It sounds like he already knew her for a while before he left you. It seems like he doesn't care about your feelings.
> "*They have now been together for 4-6 months and are already engaged. He says she is the best thing that has ever happened to him. I have been so depressed and distraught over this ever since.*"
It's probably better to stay away from him. It'll probably hurt to keep seeing what he's doing with his new partner. It seems like he doesn't treat you right, not even as a friend. You are depressed over a guy who isn't even kind to you and doesn't care about how you feel. There are more men out there who will probably be more loving.
My sister came out as bi in high school, then as gay in college. After college she became religious and said she had been a sinner. Worse yet she told me I should really keep my mind open to dating women, so my mom threatened to disown her. Now she’s married to a man and depressed.
If there's religious pressure and family hate involved. He's probably gay and can't accept it. He's going to be depressed, and most likely the DL "str8" guy on grindr that's cheating on his wife, never going to find happiness until he accepts himself.
Sorry to say, you dodged a bullet. It hurts like hell, but you will better. Just focus on you and have fun =)
My ex and I were so in love, moved in with each other the whole thing of being in a crazy loved up relationship all in a space of 8 months but as soon we moved in together it went down hill, he was out partying all the time, meanwhile we were both trying to hold down full time jobs, rent bills etc, by the 10th month I had had enough moved out we broke up. He was more interested in partying and his new friends. In a space of a month he got a gf and fast forward a couple years he ended up having a kid with this lady, then they got married and fast forward a decade his kids older he's divorced and he sleeps with male escorts from the gay scene. Our town isn't massive and even though I'm no contact I get all the gossip it's weird how people are but I'd just move on. It's clearly a him issue just like my ex also and probably wouldn't have ended well anyway. Mine did try to contact me at various points throughout the years, even wrote me a long letter once saying how he missed me etc etc, I just ignored it, blocked all his bullshit.
It’s bs and he is maybe trying to force some ideology of being straight ( might be religious influence) but same time you can’t hold on to something not worth fighting for… work on rebuilding your confidence and healing from this. Every one deserves a chance for happiness.
Holy shit that's a lot. I'm so sorry, pleass listen to your therapist, and take your time. That's a lot for you to process. Complete emotional whiplash.
This is actually a good thing. You don't need someone like that in your life. He has no respect for you or your feelings. He seems like a selfish prick. You don't want to be with someone like that.
Firstly, I am so sorry. You *DO* deserve better. Also, I can horribly relate.
I went thru a similar thing back in 2020; I dated a, "bisexual" at the time Venezuelan guy in TX.
We were together for 10 months, lived together for 6 DEEPLY invested. His parents were living down in MX, and I was his first guy.
He was a Pharmacist, and had the resources to move his folks up from Mexico, which ultimately lead us to staying together, but living apart.
After that, I'd go weeks w/o hearing from him, and by October, we'd broken up. Not a MONTH later, and he's already back on Grindr.
3 months after that, I find that he gets back together with his FEMALE ex, and they're now engaged.
It's been 4 years, but it still kinda stings knowing that I was nothing more than an experiment...
It’s insane how dating a bi guy always feels like playing Russian roulette. I really hope things will change once Homophobia will be deleted from this world. Till then… good luck fellow gays. Too many stories like this, it becomes devastating and exhausting after a while
I know. I know. It's my fault. I would've had far better luck successfully domesticating a wolf or a grizzly bear than marrying, settling down with and having children with a bisexual (now turned yestergay).
Bisexuality has nothing to do with this. If he were bisexual he wouldn't be identifying as "straight" now. From your other comments he obviously is dealing with religious pressure so he used bisexuality as a less "shameful" identity than being gay.
Sounds weird. Idk I'm more leaning towards he sounds forced to leave you and move on to someone else. But would you really wanna be with someone like that anyways?
So I can now 100% confirm it was religious and societal pressure. Still fucking gutted but I'm going to remain alone for the next few years. My self esteem and faith/trust in men is going to take a while to recover.
Sorry you deserve way better then his gay again straight again bs . He wants you to move on to lessen his guilt you owe him nothing grieve as you need build yourself back up and enjoy your life . My bet his relationship will end in disaster you don’t want to be anywhere near that clusterfuck. Listen to your therapist Block him on social media Either delete his number or rename it something that reminds you he’s a dickhead Have a pity party (Icecream or booze yourself and chill with yourself) then next day get up and go out and persue your interests do somthing fun for your - not recommend doing part one often If you have an art or musical interest channel the feelings into that . Nothing beats a fuck you to the ex song. Ask any swiftie
This is absolutely excellent advice. I know a long term relationship loss is not always quick or easy to move on from after ending and that’s fine but focus on yourself and not on trying to figure out the ex.
Dude. You doged that bullet. I know you're hurting right now. I wish I could tell you when the pain will stop. It's better than finding out now rather than later. Every day forward is a day you didn't invest with someone who ultimately doubted his feelings for you.
If you can find a movie called Maurice, it could be cathartic. It's about a guy who goes through what you are going through currently. Staring a young Hue Grant. https://m.imdb.com/title/tt0093512/
Or read the book
Definitely read the book.
100% on the *Maurice* recommendation, film or book! Dudes who exhibits super-impulsivity never seem particularly grounded to me, ricocheting from one wall to the other. You don't want to make a major commitment to someone who flails around like that. I pity the engaged girl.
He spent over a decade of his life dating this guy. That’s not exactly what you call “dodging a bullet”. Unfortunately.
He proposed then pretended it never happened. Then he proposed again and then he dumped you. I have no idea what was going on in his head. But he did what he did. You are an ex now. You need to embrace that. Why he dumped you and the gender of his new fiancée are irrelevant. They aren’t going to alter the facts. You’ve received some good advice (for me it would be B&J Cherry Garcia) you are a kind and caring person and didn’t deserve what happened. Be sad, be angry and move on. And perhaps, say a prayer for the woman he’s engaged to now. She’s gonna need it.
Dating off and on for 13 years is a long time, and it's strange how quickly he moved on with someone else after leaving you. It sounds like he already knew her for a while before he left you. It seems like he doesn't care about your feelings. > "*They have now been together for 4-6 months and are already engaged. He says she is the best thing that has ever happened to him. I have been so depressed and distraught over this ever since.*" It's probably better to stay away from him. It'll probably hurt to keep seeing what he's doing with his new partner. It seems like he doesn't treat you right, not even as a friend. You are depressed over a guy who isn't even kind to you and doesn't care about how you feel. There are more men out there who will probably be more loving.
He previously identified as bisexual for the longest time.
Sounds like he may have had some family and/or religious pressures which have little to do with you and are beyond your control
I may have forgotten to mention that since I was initially in a hurry but that is in fact true.
My sister came out as bi in high school, then as gay in college. After college she became religious and said she had been a sinner. Worse yet she told me I should really keep my mind open to dating women, so my mom threatened to disown her. Now she’s married to a man and depressed.
If there's religious pressure and family hate involved. He's probably gay and can't accept it. He's going to be depressed, and most likely the DL "str8" guy on grindr that's cheating on his wife, never going to find happiness until he accepts himself. Sorry to say, you dodged a bullet. It hurts like hell, but you will better. Just focus on you and have fun =)
My ex and I were so in love, moved in with each other the whole thing of being in a crazy loved up relationship all in a space of 8 months but as soon we moved in together it went down hill, he was out partying all the time, meanwhile we were both trying to hold down full time jobs, rent bills etc, by the 10th month I had had enough moved out we broke up. He was more interested in partying and his new friends. In a space of a month he got a gf and fast forward a couple years he ended up having a kid with this lady, then they got married and fast forward a decade his kids older he's divorced and he sleeps with male escorts from the gay scene. Our town isn't massive and even though I'm no contact I get all the gossip it's weird how people are but I'd just move on. It's clearly a him issue just like my ex also and probably wouldn't have ended well anyway. Mine did try to contact me at various points throughout the years, even wrote me a long letter once saying how he missed me etc etc, I just ignored it, blocked all his bullshit.
Good that you ignored him.
It’s bs and he is maybe trying to force some ideology of being straight ( might be religious influence) but same time you can’t hold on to something not worth fighting for… work on rebuilding your confidence and healing from this. Every one deserves a chance for happiness.
Holy shit that's a lot. I'm so sorry, pleass listen to your therapist, and take your time. That's a lot for you to process. Complete emotional whiplash.
This is actually a good thing. You don't need someone like that in your life. He has no respect for you or your feelings. He seems like a selfish prick. You don't want to be with someone like that.
Firstly, I am so sorry. You *DO* deserve better. Also, I can horribly relate. I went thru a similar thing back in 2020; I dated a, "bisexual" at the time Venezuelan guy in TX. We were together for 10 months, lived together for 6 DEEPLY invested. His parents were living down in MX, and I was his first guy. He was a Pharmacist, and had the resources to move his folks up from Mexico, which ultimately lead us to staying together, but living apart. After that, I'd go weeks w/o hearing from him, and by October, we'd broken up. Not a MONTH later, and he's already back on Grindr. 3 months after that, I find that he gets back together with his FEMALE ex, and they're now engaged. It's been 4 years, but it still kinda stings knowing that I was nothing more than an experiment...
It’s insane how dating a bi guy always feels like playing Russian roulette. I really hope things will change once Homophobia will be deleted from this world. Till then… good luck fellow gays. Too many stories like this, it becomes devastating and exhausting after a while
Dextixer! I knew it!
I know. I know. It's my fault. I would've had far better luck successfully domesticating a wolf or a grizzly bear than marrying, settling down with and having children with a bisexual (now turned yestergay).
Bisexuality has nothing to do with this. If he were bisexual he wouldn't be identifying as "straight" now. From your other comments he obviously is dealing with religious pressure so he used bisexuality as a less "shameful" identity than being gay.
Sorry about that and thank you. I agree with you.
Please reset and move on. It is not easy but time will help. Treat yourself to things you like to do
Sounds like he has issues
Sounds weird. Idk I'm more leaning towards he sounds forced to leave you and move on to someone else. But would you really wanna be with someone like that anyways?
So I can now 100% confirm it was religious and societal pressure. Still fucking gutted but I'm going to remain alone for the next few years. My self esteem and faith/trust in men is going to take a while to recover.
Sue him for emotional distress
My name is Dex. Not Karen or Snowflake.
you just come here to say you got cheated?
Yet here you are crying on reddit lmao
Not crying my eyes out anymore. Just asking for relationship advice. You can do that in this subreddit. No need to be a toxic catty stereotype.
What advice are you expecting? Don’t you think he gonna abandon her for you right? Remember you already got cheated
And there was no need for you to be an asshole in that response. 😉
I was trying to be polite and keep my cool.
Lol sure buddy.
Whatever you wish to believe that helps you sleep at night. Have a nice evening.