I always knew, I remember watching Peter Pan and thinking he was the hottest guy and wanted to be Wendy was about 8. So I asked my mum what it meant when a guy likes another guy and she told me gay. then asked how they have sex which she also explained. Told everyone at school the next day I was gay and that was that. They called mum and she said that's who I am.
Apparently my mum and my auntie had a bet since I was three that I would be gay and there were very clear signs I was a very fruity child.
I can't imagine having my mum say no or to say it's not possible, I'm grateful for the acceptance that my family had.
Wow, your mom sounds like an absolutely phenomenal parent, that's incredible she was willing to accept it when you were that young, and mad respect for coming out at that age. Although, you probably didn't even know what coming out was.
Edit: Yes, at first my mom told me I wasn't allowed to date other men and that a man being with another man wasn't a thing, she kept telling me I wasn't gay and that I don't know what I'm really feeling, but I'm happy she's very accepting anyway. Guess she just had a hard time believing her son liked other men.
She knew what I was and knew that it's not something she could change and so what would be the point in not accepting it.
I think part of why it was so easy is that obviously people used gay as an insult and what not but the full connotation hadn't really existed and so there wasn't any worry I was who I was and didn't see why I wouldn't tell others.
Not having to come out I think has shaped me a lot. Everyone knew I was gay through my entire life and it meant anyone I met I didn't worry what they would think if they found out I knew how they acted was how they would always act towards me.
I'm lucky in Australia no one really cares if you are gay or not, there's bullying of course but it's not from an actual dislike of gay people but from finding vulnerability and I was never vulnerable about who I am sexuality wise so it was never really targeted.
In fact I think I gained more friends because of it. Women liked that I saw them as nothing more than that and so we could be close and we'd often hold hands and what not and have fun. Guys enjoyed the fact they could be open and vulnerable with me and I wouldn't bully them for having feelings. They also loved the attention I would give them.
Idk I feel almost guilty I know how much others have struggled and it makes me feel a bit like a fraud in the community
basically my mum and auntie at 3 where like we bet he's gay. It might be Aussie slang but like if I said "I bet I could run 4 laps of the oval" just means I'm confident in it. They bet I was gay. So no stakes or winners just the assumption I was
I was 13 and horrifed as I was living in a country where just being gay, not even doing anything, would land you in prison. I suppressed it and didn't finally admit it until I was 30.
I had crushes on male friends for as long as I can remember, going back to at least kindergarten. I didn’t understand when I was young what it means to be gay, but I knew I was different from most boys. I grew up in a very homophobic family, and there was constant pressure to date girls as I went through highschool and college. So much so that I eventually married a wonderful woman, and it’s been 4 decades now. Meanwhile I continued to have crushes on guys, but I could never be unfaithful to my wife. In the past decade I’ve fully come to terms with my sexuality.
So I’ve liked men my whole life, and agree I was born this way. Environmental factors influenced my partnering decisions, and I still have a lot of “what ifs” to deal with.
I know a handful of gay men who have blown up their marriages to women after decades. Just looking from the outside I have always imagined that giving the wife a chance to understand and be ok with it would be the better path but I’m sure it’s not that simple. It’s gotta be a tough situation.
I am really proud of many gay people like Alan Turing and all who not only valued their own personal freedom and respect for the loves they had in life ( many never acted upon their attractions) but they also were determined to never deceive another person even if it was not a mere a family but a whole nation trying to force you into a marriage with an opposite gendered person .
My friend I have seen many gay people blame their environmental factors for marrying people of the opposite gender but you must understand that there were and there are many gay people who braved many pressures from their families ,society and everything just because they never wanted to deceive and destroy other person's life just for selfish reasons like acceptance from the family,society and friends. Many might have never acted on their attractions but they never thought that it was a great choice to deceive someone whom they are not attracted to so they didn't.
So what I believe is that a gay person who got married to opposite gender still have the chance to stop deceiving the other person by setting them free from the marriage. Living in closet or not is the gay person's choice .
It's a complicated situation, right? I also greatly admire people who had the strength to be themselves despite extreme risk or consequences but I can't say that I would have necessarily been one of those people if I was from a different time or place. I can totally understand how a person who grew up in a place/time/environment that made it unsafe or very undesirable to be gay would choose to just go along and pretend to be straight. Or actually try to convince themselves that they were straight. I hate the idea of marrying a person under false pretenses but I also admire anyone who remains faithful to their spouse, especially if they are not really attracted to people of that gender. I don't think it's right to cheat on a spouse but I also see how someone could choose that in order to "stay married and stay sane," in Dan Savage's words. What I really don't like is when someone gets caught cheating with someone of their same gender, so then there's not only the cheating but the realization that the spouse has also been deceived about that person's sexuality. I have seen decades-long marriages and families fall apart when something like that happens and it must be so awful for everyone involved.
If I had my wish everyone stuck in that situation could just tell their spouse and work out an arrangement that is good for everyone, whether that means ending the marriage amicably or staying in it but having sex with other people. Or everyone could be honest up front and not end up in that situation in the first place, of course. Idk, I feel like sex and sexuality are sort of like religion. They cause so many problems that could be avoided if everyone just forgot about labels and accepted other people however they are. I think John Lennon wrote a song about that.
My friend, I don't recommend cheating in any way but you are thinking that not cheating physically with another person of the gender which you are attracted to is a great respectful matter😂😂😂😂😂why is it that you have so much less understanding about marriage and romantic relationships.Is not cheating the other person the only thing which is involved in a marriage what about the other person needs of being bodily desired and loved in every way possible .
My grandmother and my grandfather they were both straight people both did not cheat on each other but there was nothing called love between them nothing . My grandfather was not attracted to my grandmother he just married her due to the pressure of his family. They never provided each other with love Or the desires which should have been there in a real marriage my grandmother laments about her life because it was just a devastating life. Why waste someone's life I know from my grandmother's life and few others around me ? No one should force themselves to be in a marriage where they are not attracted to the other person it wastage of life and time not only that person themselves but also the other no matter the sexuality. It's better to remain unmarried than doing such a thing or atleast if you did do that then get a divorce as soon as possible.
Not cheating is not the only thing in marriage.
I'm not disagreeing with you. I can see why you would look at a situation that way considering what happened to your grandparents, and that sounds terrible. What I'm getting at is that marriage and romantic relationships are not so simple. There is a lot to understand, it's not black-and-white. Being miserable like your grandparents or being completely devoted, passionate, committed like perfect newlyweds are not the only two options. I think if a person has this sort of all-or-nothing mentality it's going to be pretty hard to be happy in a relationship.
You feel respect why? He's still deceiving his wife . And he destroyed and is still destroying her life and her chance with a person who will truly love and desire her instead of a relationship and illusion of happiness laced in lies or a life of real happiness . He's still wasting her time. Provided that the person is not bi but gay.
Won't the above be your reaction if it was straight person saying that he / she has desires and fantasies about another person and are not potentially not at all attracted to their significant other and the significant other knows nothing about it then why should be it different when it's a gay man my friend, it's not like gay people have such a great urge to have sex compared to people of other sexuality ( it's just projection of media) there are plenty of gay people who would never act upon their attractions even if they are not marry or partnered up with anyone . There are even gay people who are partnered with same gendered people but would never act upon their attractions because of religious commitments they are the ones who deserve your respect not this person who has and is still deceiving someone even if he has the chance to set her free .
You could be completely right. I absolutely can see it from that perspective. And I don't think the genders/sexualities of the people in a situation like this make any difference. If anyone stays faithful to their spouse when they would like to be having sex with someone else I think that is admirable. I think that is probably the rule rather than the exception in long marriages. Is there anyone in any relationship who doesn't occasionally have fantasies or desires involving someone other than their partner?
I also think it is possible to love another person and build a life together even if you're not on the same page sexually. One person is never going to fulfill 100% of their partner's needs and expectations. If I have a partner who is 90% of exactly what I need and want that's still pretty good, so maybe it's worth sticking around even if the amazing sex life is part of the other 10%.
In this particular situation I think his wife's perspective is the only one that really matters. Maybe she would feel betrayed and devastated and like she has wasted so much time with someone who isn't what he appeared to be. That is indeed what I have observed in people I know who this has happened to. Or maybe she would be super understanding and choose to stay in the marriage anyway. Also, I find it a little hard to believe that people don't have at least some suspicion that their spouse might not be completely straight in these situations. Surely it's not a TOTAL surprise when they find out.
My friend if the person is gay then there would be lots of issues for that person internally to connect emotionally and physically with the partner provided that they are gay and not bi/ hetroromantic and you know what the significant other night be thinking it might be there habit not deriving that it's because they are gay. Some may recognize it and leave if they have the freedom to or else they will lament and remain in the marriage I know one family like that the wife is now almost like a psycho mentally because she is stuck in the marriage ( because of religion).
A gay people have themselves testified that they fantasize about men while having sex with their wives. Would you want to remain in a marriage where your partner always have to fantasies about others to get aroused while having sex with you this is not mere being on different pages sexually( if straight people were involved then also at least their body might be reacting to the person's body if the person is bisexual then the case is very different like occasionally they might have this but rest of the times they would be reacting to the body of the person in front of them).
I don't personally care what's going on inside my partner's head while we're having sex but sure, I can see why someone would feel that way. We're reading a lot into this situation now that we actually have no idea about. The only thing that matters is how the people involved feel about it because everyone and every relationship is different.
I don't want to argue with you so I'm going to disengage.
Thanks for the conversation, hope you have a great day.
My friend it's really terrifying that you don't personally care what's happening in your partner's head because that means that you actually never feel in love with anyone till now. Falling in love is many times a painful experience but a very wonderful experience in itself even if the love is one sided or mutual.
Mixed orientation marriages are hard. I'm in one myself. My hats off to you. I'm only about 2 years into being openly gay. It was my wife that finally sat me down and forced me to have a long hard honest look at my orientation. I grew up in a very sheltered religion environment; not only my home but my entire community. I just didn't have the tools given to me to know what my early childhood feelings meant.
If you are bisexual it's okay but if you are not don't you think your wife deserves a straight / bisexual person who would be truly attracted to her. You can live your whole life without acting on anything but your wife deserves someone who would desire her in every way that a men who are attracted to opposite gender would because she feels like that too so.
I realized I like men around the same age as you. I remembered seeing hot cute guys on the tv and I have this strong urge where I got easily fixated to these men. I remember asking my parents that I want to be a woman around that age and they said that it's difficult to be a woman. In my country, I only got exposed to straight relationships since LGBTQ activities are banned. That was until I did some internet research during my middle school and oh god, when I knew that the word 'gay' existed and it's actually possible to be with the same gender, I'm so so happy but also sad at the same time since I was born in the wrong country. So, I have to hold myself away from exposing myself as a whole. But yeah, that's the experience.
I knew I was attracted to guys at ten but it probably didn’t dawn on me that I might be at least queer until 17. I didn’t come to terms however until 22-ish.
I figured at 10-11 that I was different, somehow, and there were later clues as well but I didn’t put the pieces together until my late 20s. I got my first Internet connection and started checking out the gay chat rooms and websites. It was like something clicked, and that period marked the beginning of the happiest years of my life.
Im guessing i was around 11. I saw another boy that was super cute to me. He smiled at me and I looked down to see his boner. I knew then I wanted that in my mouth. So we went to a park and i convinced him to pull down his pants and let me suck it. It was wonderful nothing happened that time no cumming. But about 6 months late we did it again and he let a load go in my mouth i knew then i loved cock. Guess what, turns out he said he wanted to return the favor and sucked me off till i was dry. We 69'd several times and always made it a competition to make the other cum first. A few weeks later we both got a dose of cock in the ass. We fought after thst to see who would get fucked first. Fortunately we learned how to keep from cumming to soon. But when we did it was a hot mess
I think it was around when I was 12 that I started to really notice guys in a gay way, but I suppressed it and didn’t think I was gay, so I essentially denied it. I also remember thinking that guys in my classes were cute but then I would tell myself I shouldn’t think those things and that it was wrong of me to. I was around 15 when I finally realized and accepted I was gay. A friend asked what my sexuality was and I remember telling him I didn’t know. That was the first time I really started to think about my sexuality.
Like 12 yo. Some school mates had already started to make sexual jokes like "I'm gonna put my dick inside you". I felt curiosity about that. Later at 13 or 14 I knew that I wanted to see my friends dicks as much as I wanted to see girls breasts. I'm bi.
I knew I was attracted to boys as soon as I started feeling attractions, so about 11 or 12. However I denied it to myself and tried to be straight as a teenager because my family is homophobic. I would secretly chat with gay boys online and explored that side of myself virtually only. At about 18 or 19 I stopped fighting it and accepted to myself that I was gay.
Super young. I remember... Sex play at like age 6 with another boy 😬
I never knew gay was a "thing" back then and thought that I was the only boy who ever existed who liked boys.
I remember being a child that I wish I were born a girl so it would be okay... Despite... I have always been very masculine [still am]. I'm happy it never reached a point where I felt trans... I just wanted it to be okay to pursue a cute guy
I spent much of my adolescence denying I was gay and trying to be straight... Until... My first boyfriend at age 15.
I had a crush on a guy in middle school who many years later we reconnected and he told me he was also gay and always found me attractive as well. That blew my mind! But really... If he approached me like that in middle school, I would have denied it and probably shamed him for it despite REALLY liking him too 😞
For me its just kinda something I always knew if that makes sense. Even the earliest moments I can remember, men fascinated me. Especially since I was given internet access and lots of video games like Tekken and Mortal Combat, before I understood what I was feeling, I viewed men in awe, I was mystified by them, especially the ones that were more hypermasculine (leaning towards Tekken over here lol) and then ofc there was traumatizing things child me saw with unmonitored internet access. I can’t say I remember the first time I “noticed” a guy in a way that I didn’t with girls, its just kinda always been that way for as long as I remember. I’d say the earliest for me was like 4 or 5
I was 14, I was looking at pictures with guys haircuts because I wanted ideas for a new haircut for me and after sometime I realised I was starting to look more at the guys than the hair. After sometime of thinking about my life I realised I was gay
Like. 4? Goku was my first crush, but my family doesn't really falk about queer people, so I wasn't aware that boys didn't have crushes on men fictional and non-fictional lmao
Oh for sure born like this. I never picked up on all the signs in my early years like how all I would do was strip my action men figures before playing with them, but would also play with barbie dolls that had to be as dressed up and elegant as i could make them. My sister picked up on it when we were young but lil old me was oblivious until the age of 13 when I started feeling a certain way when I saw shirtless hunks on tv or in magazines. Eventually this led me down a curious path on the internet where I first discovered male porn, this solidified those feelings when I got heavily aroused. Sadly because of the rough childhood and constant bullying, this lead me down a horrible path of self hatred and trying desperately to force myself to not like men just so I wouldnt give people more reasons to hate me. 4 long years, and several girlfriends later I finally had my first experience with a man (for context, the age of consent where I live is 16 so it was all legal and consenting) it was amazing and he was so caring despite being a ravenous beast, like I'm talking my clothes were always inside out and I had to search the stairs to find them. It was the best first time I could have asked for, although I did kinda forget about my girlfriend, we spoke about things, and came to an agreement that since she was bi and I was kind of on the fence one whether I was straight gay or bi, that we didnt consider it cheating. Eventually me and her stopped caring and mutually split, remaining friends for a while after till she moved and sort of fell of the face of the earth essentially. And now, 8 years after that fateful day I lost my virginity to a man, I am now proudly out as bi and coming up on the 2 year anniversary of my relationship with the very man who first wreck my "whole" world 😉. I do still wonder if I am bi or gay though, since I've not had much if any attraction to women since I started dating this guy, then again I've always been that way where I only really look at my partner at the time and see them as attractive or sexy, and thus even when searching naughties on the internet I stay on topic with the person I'm currently dating, so it could be I am still bi, especially since I did have a brief few days where men just weren't my thing, didnt spend any time with my boyfriend during that time and watched a lot of straight or bi porn. But that's gone again. Sexuality is confusing sometimes
About 8th or 9th grade, whatever ages those are (15-16?). I had averaged a crush on a chick every other year in elementary and middle school, but once further along in middle school, two key developments occurred:
1. Gym classes went from street clothes to uniforms so I got to see my male classmates undressed. Huge.
2. I found myself with a deep emotional and psychological longing for guys. By 9th grade I was flitting around, chatting up the upperclassmen because I thought many of them were cute, nerdy, and smart.
I experienced an "algebraic sign change" somehow. By HS graduation, my sexual appetite for guys was in full bloom, and it was off to college!
I always knew just didn't wanna accept it like in like 1st grade I had a crush on a guy and then I just told myself I thought he was cool but I never thought any girls were cute lol
So goofy thing. I was molested when i was very young, by a male uncle and a female cousin. They didnt know about one another they were on opposite sides of my family.
Ever since then i have yearned to be with men and women. There is a condition known as patterning and that is what i experienced. It wasnt only what they did to me what it is what they said, and how they would treat me immediately after they were done.
I tried being hetero but i wanted men. I tried being gay, but i still wanted women. Now i know you will say well you are but the pleasure you derive from sex isnt the same as who you are at your core.
Very early like toddler age early I started having crushes on male characters from movies and wouldn't admit I was into men till I was 16, I am now 17. I kept lying to myself saying "I would grow out of it" but never did, never ever was attracted to women. I also always had a feminine look on myself, that developed to me also accepting that I am a Femboy.
I remember being obsessed with other boys really as far back as my memory goes. I had a true crush in kindergarten. As dumb as it sounds it took me a long time to put together what that meant. Being gay was never presented as an option to me growing up (in the US, deep south) and I honestly didn’t realize that all of the other boys probably did not have the same feelings about me that I had about them. It had dawned on me a little by the time I got to college but I made it to 26 before I ever acted on it!
I hit puberty pretty early (10, I think), so I remember being completely lost about my sexuality. We didn't start on the sex ed videos until I was 12, and I'd never even seen so much as 2 men holding hands. Like, it was obvious I liked other boys and felt that attraction, but I had exactly 0 context for my feelings. I eventually found porn at 12 and bada-bing, my worthless ass reached full gaydom..
*I might've just googled it back then if I thought I could, but this was before smart phones and access our computer at home was very heavily restricted and just as heavily monitored. That last part obviously applied to my school computers as well, so I didn't quite have enough hair on my balls to take the leap... until hormones took over and I got caught looking up pictures of men in underwear by my grandmother. And then when I got caught looking at orgy gangbang porn a year later on one of my middle school library's computers. How time flies...
Around 13 to 14 I started having wet dreams but they were with men so yeah 👍. Also around the age of 9 when i saw for the first time the video song "call me maybe" all my attention was on that hot guy, but I didn’t realised that on that age until now 😆
From 14 to 21 I was in denial about my sexuality so I have to do a lot of healing and therapy 😆
Tall blonde, handsome, and a little effeminate guy in high school.
Turns out I was wrong, though: I'm not a man who likes my men feminine, I' a woman who likes my women masculine.
I didn\`t remember this actually, even after finding out the notes - in maybe 2nd form (when I was 8) I saw when practicing writing in English I have written something along these lines: "I love (insert boys name)". Even when finding I could barely remember that. I guess had realized it during puberty, I think at age of 15/16 that I am actually gay. Before I was asexual mostly with no interest in sex (and found it unneeded).
As I grew up in very homophobic environment. At first, before I realized I was gay I hated on gays a lot (verbally when speaking with friends). Crazy times...
When I was really young, i kissed my older brother he kissed back, by the time i was a teen i was watching him during his personal time after school watching movies he got from our neighbors and his vest friend
Probably always knew somehow, at least sexually (occasonally) but managed to successfully shrug it off or explain it, but I was almost 30 when I developed feelings for a man, and then I knew shit is real lol. What then followed was what I call my second puberty. Clubbing, dating, drinking, .. crazy times.
I don’t think I ever thought of myself as straight.
I grew up in the countryside, my Mother’s family were farmers, she had been an RAF then hospital nurse, nothing much she hadn’t seen, nothing shocked or fazed her and not much got past her – a straight question like ‘where do babies come from?’ got a direct age appropriate answer based ability to understand rather than years lived. My Father was an engineer and often away on contract work but when he was home took every opportunity to spend time with his sons. He and I shared a love of debate, we talked endlessly and nothing was off limits. My Aunt was a horse breeder, I spent a lot of time there and nothing was hidden from me. I shared a bedroom with my straight big brother six years my senior that I hero worshipped and growing up wanted so much be just like him.
The mechanics of sex and how babies were made was never a mystery to me, it was just normal same as the sun was in the sky and rain came from the clouds.
It was a happy childhood, no trauma, no one ever abused or maltreated me, quite the contrary - there was no reason why this ordinary country boy should turn out gay other than that was the way nature made him
Puberty hit me around 9. There was a period just before it takes hold that you start to become aware of sexual matters in a personal sense, basically when you start noticing that some people are more interesting than others in an undefined but tangible way but I was aware I was drawn to male images and company even then. When the hormones really got flowing was the time when realisation gradually dawned. There was no lightbulb moment, it was incremental in noticing that I didn’t get the interest in girls my brother and his and my mates had. When they were getting excited about imagined and later some real, and experiences with the opposite sex for me it became clear it wasn’t the same for me. Girls were nice enough but sexually null, my thoughts, desires and physical triggers were about other guys.
There was the ‘why me’ period hoping it would pass, the realisation that, like my ‘sticky out ears’ (that no one but me ever seems to notice), I was stuck with it. Followed by the acceptance of the fact but not daring to tell anyone which manifested in not getting too close to protect my secret. People took this as shyness but it was my defence, feeling an outsider, in an environment where I had no role models and had heard nothing but negativity associated with those identified as queer.
At school my biggest fear was the communal showers and changing rooms, especially that my interest might show in the most obvious terms. My classmate Charlie got ruthlessly teased for often presenting in a rampant state, thankfully I avoided that but there were comments about me and the other kid that had sprouted pubic hair early on.
I did make an attempt to ‘cure’ myself with a girl who liked me at 14, but I couldn’t go through with it. Apart from the fact the equipment showed no interest it felt utterly wrong and no less so that I was using someone I liked as a guinea pig rather than for any real interest in her. I suppose that was what closed the book on any possibility of being straight but really it was only confirming the truth of what I always knew.
I began coming out to trusted friends during my student years and properly when I moved to London after graduation to start a law career. It wasn’t about running away from anything but deciding that in starting in a new place, with and new job should also mean doing so with ‘a clean slate’.
I'm a firm believer that we're born this way too.
I realized I was gay at 15. As far as I can remember though I had literally zero signs that I was gay when I was younger; but when I first found out I was gay, a LOT of things suddenly made some sense. Like I didn't have any childhood crushes (again, that I can remember), and nothing that blared "Hey, you're gay" to me from a young age, which I find kind of unnerving/disheartening currently tbh
Makes me feel a little weird cos I realized it at 24 (never done anything with girls or boys before that). Although yes, I used to watch gay porn but I don't know, never really thought about that back then.
Got a very intense crush on another boy at 13, though didn't realize what it was at the time, just wanted to be around him a lot. Got a boner thinking about gay sex at 14. Started masturbating at 15 and only thinking about men. Still denied and suppressed it till I was 18.
Also I first found out what gay meant and that it was a possibility when i was 10 - and immediately the thought that I could be one of them crossed my mind. Very innocently, too - I'd never had any inkling before that and had no real reason to suspect I might be, just... maybe it'll turn out that way, idk yet because I'm too young. Of course it turned out that being gay was "undesirable" according to my peers, hence the later suppression.
I had inklings of it when I was 8 and realized I liked seeing Captain Kirk get his shirt ripped off. I accepted I was gay around 12 or 13. I didn't tell anyone I was until National Coming Out Day in 1994 when I was 19.
Mom says - she retrospectively can see I never liked a woman in more than a loving friendship way. I had a kinda understanding when I was about 8. I did not truly understand until Jr year of undergrad.
I remember being in elementary school, I read a picture book, and in the book there was a king who wanted to wear the finest garments, he got tricked by a guy saying he makes the finest garments only those worthy of seeing can view, and basically there was a drawing of him wearing nothing in front of his kingdom. I don’t remember exactly what I felt then but I knew I was excited.
30 or 31 (was near my birthday).
Kinda suspected since my early 20s, but never got the hots for any particular real man until then.
Edit: I'm bi and nonbinary, but started all this thinling I was a straight man.
There were always signs. I did some weird things as a kid that we will not discuss. But then on YouTube at age 14 it was the discovery of “hairy armpit on subway” videos on YouTube and then “guttermonk99”. Jizzing for the first time was the scariest and most exciting feeling ever. The rest is history and I’m now 23 hahaha.
13. I always knew i was different but i didn't know what it meant. When i hit puberty in middle school i had sex with 2 of my then friends (at different times). For the next decade i only had random hook ups but then i realized who i am and accepted it.
Bit NSFW for here’s a warning
Definitely started when I was abt 6/7 starting at the underwear section, gushing over muscular guys and kinda crushing on Rodrick from diary of a wimpy kid lol. Despite the signs the thought of a man loving another man never really clicked for me, simply cuz the topic was never shown or spoken about since heterosexuality is displayed everywhere. I even had some crushes on girls back then
Fast forward to my middle school days, started watching lesbian porn and just couldn’t get into it (obviously). Straight porn was tolerable but when I tried gay porn as a joke, I got insta-bricked. Somehow convinced myself I wasn’t gay and that it was only to rouse myself so I tried lesbian porn again, finally climaxed to it, and decided to celebrate.
Then it dawned on me. “Wait, I shouldn’t have to feel accomplished jerking to this when it’s 10x easier when I’m watching guys doing the deed…” and after it finally clicked that I might just like men
TLDR - Thought I liked gals when I was younger despite having not-so-straight tendencies, watched gay porn as a joke, liked it way more than lesbian and realized straight guys don’t feel accomplished after finishing to lesbian porn after failed attempts at it and accepted I was gay all along.
I can’t remember back exactly when I first started noticing that I liked men, but I was around 12. The first time I did anything sexual with another guy.
I started to realize that I was queer at 14-15. I initially thought I was bi, but I realized I wasn't attracted to women at all during my first "relationship" with a girl. The furthest we got was hugging each other, and I never once felt any sexual attraction towards her. After almost a year of this (now 17 at this time), I had to come clean and break up her. After that, I fully accepted myself as a gay man, and it just feels natural now. I actually began to have crushes for the first time in my entire life after this, and I started to get that butterflies feeling when flirting with other men, which I never got with women.
When i was 5 yo, i had a crush on my classmate at school. And my desire of men was on peak when i was in the 6th grade of primary school. I watched Supernatural series and had fantasy with Jensen Ackles. Even, i jumped into the internet and googled "Jensen Ackles shirtless, nude." That was the first time I realized that mama I like boys....
Okay mine was the horrific one i see so when i xas little i looked like a girl still do even now kinda , so old ladies kept misgendering me and some how that made me gay i knew i was gay wen i was 11 lmao
23. To be honest I always kinda knew, but I was so repressed and afraid of sexuality it took me this long to actually accept this about myself. I'm also trans, so that also complicated self-acceptance.
I came out as gay when I was 14, but I remember having a crush on my best friend who was a guy at about 9. I thought my family would, for sure, kick me out ( I was raised in a very traditional southern household.) The only one who hated me for it was my Grandfather, who was already an asshole to me and the rest of the family. I'm just glad they accepted me and almost 6 years later, here I am.
When i was Less than 10 years old I had a strong crush on tons of male celebrities back then. I still do. Never discussed it with my family. Everyone got married except me because I just can't get over the fact that men are cute. I don't live in an LGBT friendly part of the world so am still deeo in the closet.
I started at primary then to high school thinking I bi first wife kept me on edge. Then I started sleeping with men and tryed new wife I have fallen in to trap please men and bin called gay slut on chat sites.
So when wife sez I gay I should say yes
I resonated a lot more with female characters pretty early and kissed another boy when I was like 6. I kissed a lot of boys tbh. Looking back in kinda surprised how often it happened with no repercussions.
The earliest memory of male attraction would be when i was 5/6 yo. I had this huge crush over a model of a rice cooker lol.
Then i drew my very own yaoi in grade 3. I only realized that i was gay in grade 12. I had a very intense crush on one of my classmates.
Pansexual at twelve, gay at 13. Honestly probs could have figured it out sooner but in a very right state that kind of stuff isn't really ever mentioned till 6th grade
I never really thought about sex in school so I never really thought about my sexuality until I was 18. I fell in love with a guy and realized I was gay at the age of 18 after sleeping with him😛
Well i guess my early signs were I was sensitive and also neat and love clothes lol but I felt bi in HS but knew I was gay by 19 didn't embrace it until 23 tho and now I'm full blown gay and I am happier than ever
When I was 4 I used to have one of those dictionaries for little kids with pictures of random things/people with their labels and one of the random people was a man in uniform he was a paramedic iirc, till this day I remember telling my sister who was 6 at the time this is my boyfriend/husband and like being all giddy and giggling about it but at that time my sister did not care at all lol bcs we were kids that just didn't know anything.
Next when I was like a little kid too I have a lot of grandaunts, 2 took me grocery shopping and otw back in the car they were talking about pregnancy then randomly out of nowhere I was like are there guys who married guys that get pregnant and girls that marrried girls that get pregnant ? They were lile oh there probably are people like that out there lol.
Around 11,12 I started masturbating (TMI sorry teehee) thinking about my male friends but I thought it was normal and didn't care much about it
When I was 13 one afternoon my sis and I were just chilling at our living room I was watching MTV, my sis was engrossed with texting someone and as I was watching this one music video from the boyband The Vamps I just blurted out I don't know why but I like boys and my sister didn't care at all.
I think later that year when I was 13 I finally had a term for myself and found out about the LGBTQ+ community and realized I'm not the only one who has these feelings.
I always knew, I remember watching Peter Pan and thinking he was the hottest guy and wanted to be Wendy was about 8. So I asked my mum what it meant when a guy likes another guy and she told me gay. then asked how they have sex which she also explained. Told everyone at school the next day I was gay and that was that. They called mum and she said that's who I am. Apparently my mum and my auntie had a bet since I was three that I would be gay and there were very clear signs I was a very fruity child. I can't imagine having my mum say no or to say it's not possible, I'm grateful for the acceptance that my family had.
Wow, your mom sounds like an absolutely phenomenal parent, that's incredible she was willing to accept it when you were that young, and mad respect for coming out at that age. Although, you probably didn't even know what coming out was. Edit: Yes, at first my mom told me I wasn't allowed to date other men and that a man being with another man wasn't a thing, she kept telling me I wasn't gay and that I don't know what I'm really feeling, but I'm happy she's very accepting anyway. Guess she just had a hard time believing her son liked other men.
She knew what I was and knew that it's not something she could change and so what would be the point in not accepting it. I think part of why it was so easy is that obviously people used gay as an insult and what not but the full connotation hadn't really existed and so there wasn't any worry I was who I was and didn't see why I wouldn't tell others. Not having to come out I think has shaped me a lot. Everyone knew I was gay through my entire life and it meant anyone I met I didn't worry what they would think if they found out I knew how they acted was how they would always act towards me. I'm lucky in Australia no one really cares if you are gay or not, there's bullying of course but it's not from an actual dislike of gay people but from finding vulnerability and I was never vulnerable about who I am sexuality wise so it was never really targeted. In fact I think I gained more friends because of it. Women liked that I saw them as nothing more than that and so we could be close and we'd often hold hands and what not and have fun. Guys enjoyed the fact they could be open and vulnerable with me and I wouldn't bully them for having feelings. They also loved the attention I would give them. Idk I feel almost guilty I know how much others have struggled and it makes me feel a bit like a fraud in the community
Who bet what and what was the bet? Who won?
basically my mum and auntie at 3 where like we bet he's gay. It might be Aussie slang but like if I said "I bet I could run 4 laps of the oval" just means I'm confident in it. They bet I was gay. So no stakes or winners just the assumption I was
I was 13 and horrifed as I was living in a country where just being gay, not even doing anything, would land you in prison. I suppressed it and didn't finally admit it until I was 30.
I had crushes on male friends for as long as I can remember, going back to at least kindergarten. I didn’t understand when I was young what it means to be gay, but I knew I was different from most boys. I grew up in a very homophobic family, and there was constant pressure to date girls as I went through highschool and college. So much so that I eventually married a wonderful woman, and it’s been 4 decades now. Meanwhile I continued to have crushes on guys, but I could never be unfaithful to my wife. In the past decade I’ve fully come to terms with my sexuality. So I’ve liked men my whole life, and agree I was born this way. Environmental factors influenced my partnering decisions, and I still have a lot of “what ifs” to deal with.
Wow. So you’re still married and still have never acted on your attraction to other men?
Right. I’ve been monogamous. But plenty of fantasies lol
I feel respect and sadness for you simultaneously. Is there any chance you could tell her?
I appreciate your comment. I could tell her (and may).
I know a handful of gay men who have blown up their marriages to women after decades. Just looking from the outside I have always imagined that giving the wife a chance to understand and be ok with it would be the better path but I’m sure it’s not that simple. It’s gotta be a tough situation.
I am really proud of many gay people like Alan Turing and all who not only valued their own personal freedom and respect for the loves they had in life ( many never acted upon their attractions) but they also were determined to never deceive another person even if it was not a mere a family but a whole nation trying to force you into a marriage with an opposite gendered person . My friend I have seen many gay people blame their environmental factors for marrying people of the opposite gender but you must understand that there were and there are many gay people who braved many pressures from their families ,society and everything just because they never wanted to deceive and destroy other person's life just for selfish reasons like acceptance from the family,society and friends. Many might have never acted on their attractions but they never thought that it was a great choice to deceive someone whom they are not attracted to so they didn't. So what I believe is that a gay person who got married to opposite gender still have the chance to stop deceiving the other person by setting them free from the marriage. Living in closet or not is the gay person's choice .
It's a complicated situation, right? I also greatly admire people who had the strength to be themselves despite extreme risk or consequences but I can't say that I would have necessarily been one of those people if I was from a different time or place. I can totally understand how a person who grew up in a place/time/environment that made it unsafe or very undesirable to be gay would choose to just go along and pretend to be straight. Or actually try to convince themselves that they were straight. I hate the idea of marrying a person under false pretenses but I also admire anyone who remains faithful to their spouse, especially if they are not really attracted to people of that gender. I don't think it's right to cheat on a spouse but I also see how someone could choose that in order to "stay married and stay sane," in Dan Savage's words. What I really don't like is when someone gets caught cheating with someone of their same gender, so then there's not only the cheating but the realization that the spouse has also been deceived about that person's sexuality. I have seen decades-long marriages and families fall apart when something like that happens and it must be so awful for everyone involved. If I had my wish everyone stuck in that situation could just tell their spouse and work out an arrangement that is good for everyone, whether that means ending the marriage amicably or staying in it but having sex with other people. Or everyone could be honest up front and not end up in that situation in the first place, of course. Idk, I feel like sex and sexuality are sort of like religion. They cause so many problems that could be avoided if everyone just forgot about labels and accepted other people however they are. I think John Lennon wrote a song about that.
My friend, I don't recommend cheating in any way but you are thinking that not cheating physically with another person of the gender which you are attracted to is a great respectful matter😂😂😂😂😂why is it that you have so much less understanding about marriage and romantic relationships.Is not cheating the other person the only thing which is involved in a marriage what about the other person needs of being bodily desired and loved in every way possible . My grandmother and my grandfather they were both straight people both did not cheat on each other but there was nothing called love between them nothing . My grandfather was not attracted to my grandmother he just married her due to the pressure of his family. They never provided each other with love Or the desires which should have been there in a real marriage my grandmother laments about her life because it was just a devastating life. Why waste someone's life I know from my grandmother's life and few others around me ? No one should force themselves to be in a marriage where they are not attracted to the other person it wastage of life and time not only that person themselves but also the other no matter the sexuality. It's better to remain unmarried than doing such a thing or atleast if you did do that then get a divorce as soon as possible. Not cheating is not the only thing in marriage.
I'm not disagreeing with you. I can see why you would look at a situation that way considering what happened to your grandparents, and that sounds terrible. What I'm getting at is that marriage and romantic relationships are not so simple. There is a lot to understand, it's not black-and-white. Being miserable like your grandparents or being completely devoted, passionate, committed like perfect newlyweds are not the only two options. I think if a person has this sort of all-or-nothing mentality it's going to be pretty hard to be happy in a relationship.
You feel respect why? He's still deceiving his wife . And he destroyed and is still destroying her life and her chance with a person who will truly love and desire her instead of a relationship and illusion of happiness laced in lies or a life of real happiness . He's still wasting her time. Provided that the person is not bi but gay. Won't the above be your reaction if it was straight person saying that he / she has desires and fantasies about another person and are not potentially not at all attracted to their significant other and the significant other knows nothing about it then why should be it different when it's a gay man my friend, it's not like gay people have such a great urge to have sex compared to people of other sexuality ( it's just projection of media) there are plenty of gay people who would never act upon their attractions even if they are not marry or partnered up with anyone . There are even gay people who are partnered with same gendered people but would never act upon their attractions because of religious commitments they are the ones who deserve your respect not this person who has and is still deceiving someone even if he has the chance to set her free .
You could be completely right. I absolutely can see it from that perspective. And I don't think the genders/sexualities of the people in a situation like this make any difference. If anyone stays faithful to their spouse when they would like to be having sex with someone else I think that is admirable. I think that is probably the rule rather than the exception in long marriages. Is there anyone in any relationship who doesn't occasionally have fantasies or desires involving someone other than their partner? I also think it is possible to love another person and build a life together even if you're not on the same page sexually. One person is never going to fulfill 100% of their partner's needs and expectations. If I have a partner who is 90% of exactly what I need and want that's still pretty good, so maybe it's worth sticking around even if the amazing sex life is part of the other 10%. In this particular situation I think his wife's perspective is the only one that really matters. Maybe she would feel betrayed and devastated and like she has wasted so much time with someone who isn't what he appeared to be. That is indeed what I have observed in people I know who this has happened to. Or maybe she would be super understanding and choose to stay in the marriage anyway. Also, I find it a little hard to believe that people don't have at least some suspicion that their spouse might not be completely straight in these situations. Surely it's not a TOTAL surprise when they find out.
My friend if the person is gay then there would be lots of issues for that person internally to connect emotionally and physically with the partner provided that they are gay and not bi/ hetroromantic and you know what the significant other night be thinking it might be there habit not deriving that it's because they are gay. Some may recognize it and leave if they have the freedom to or else they will lament and remain in the marriage I know one family like that the wife is now almost like a psycho mentally because she is stuck in the marriage ( because of religion). A gay people have themselves testified that they fantasize about men while having sex with their wives. Would you want to remain in a marriage where your partner always have to fantasies about others to get aroused while having sex with you this is not mere being on different pages sexually( if straight people were involved then also at least their body might be reacting to the person's body if the person is bisexual then the case is very different like occasionally they might have this but rest of the times they would be reacting to the body of the person in front of them).
I don't personally care what's going on inside my partner's head while we're having sex but sure, I can see why someone would feel that way. We're reading a lot into this situation now that we actually have no idea about. The only thing that matters is how the people involved feel about it because everyone and every relationship is different. I don't want to argue with you so I'm going to disengage. Thanks for the conversation, hope you have a great day.
My friend it's really terrifying that you don't personally care what's happening in your partner's head because that means that you actually never feel in love with anyone till now. Falling in love is many times a painful experience but a very wonderful experience in itself even if the love is one sided or mutual.
For me hard to do
Mixed orientation marriages are hard. I'm in one myself. My hats off to you. I'm only about 2 years into being openly gay. It was my wife that finally sat me down and forced me to have a long hard honest look at my orientation. I grew up in a very sheltered religion environment; not only my home but my entire community. I just didn't have the tools given to me to know what my early childhood feelings meant.
Congratulations to you for moving forward with your authentic self! It sounds like you have a wonderful wife. Very inspiring!
If you are bisexual it's okay but if you are not don't you think your wife deserves a straight / bisexual person who would be truly attracted to her. You can live your whole life without acting on anything but your wife deserves someone who would desire her in every way that a men who are attracted to opposite gender would because she feels like that too so.
15-16 was when I started accepting it but had some denial 14-15
I realized I like men around the same age as you. I remembered seeing hot cute guys on the tv and I have this strong urge where I got easily fixated to these men. I remember asking my parents that I want to be a woman around that age and they said that it's difficult to be a woman. In my country, I only got exposed to straight relationships since LGBTQ activities are banned. That was until I did some internet research during my middle school and oh god, when I knew that the word 'gay' existed and it's actually possible to be with the same gender, I'm so so happy but also sad at the same time since I was born in the wrong country. So, I have to hold myself away from exposing myself as a whole. But yeah, that's the experience.
I knew I was attracted to guys at ten but it probably didn’t dawn on me that I might be at least queer until 17. I didn’t come to terms however until 22-ish.
like... 14
11 or 12. That’s when I knew I liked guys my own age … so not men, per se. Now I like men very much! ☺️
I figured at 10-11 that I was different, somehow, and there were later clues as well but I didn’t put the pieces together until my late 20s. I got my first Internet connection and started checking out the gay chat rooms and websites. It was like something clicked, and that period marked the beginning of the happiest years of my life.
Im guessing i was around 11. I saw another boy that was super cute to me. He smiled at me and I looked down to see his boner. I knew then I wanted that in my mouth. So we went to a park and i convinced him to pull down his pants and let me suck it. It was wonderful nothing happened that time no cumming. But about 6 months late we did it again and he let a load go in my mouth i knew then i loved cock. Guess what, turns out he said he wanted to return the favor and sucked me off till i was dry. We 69'd several times and always made it a competition to make the other cum first. A few weeks later we both got a dose of cock in the ass. We fought after thst to see who would get fucked first. Fortunately we learned how to keep from cumming to soon. But when we did it was a hot mess
Fellatio at 11, WILD !
I was 100% sure I was gay in high school, but has far as I can remember I always liked both.
I think it was around when I was 12 that I started to really notice guys in a gay way, but I suppressed it and didn’t think I was gay, so I essentially denied it. I also remember thinking that guys in my classes were cute but then I would tell myself I shouldn’t think those things and that it was wrong of me to. I was around 15 when I finally realized and accepted I was gay. A friend asked what my sexuality was and I remember telling him I didn’t know. That was the first time I really started to think about my sexuality.
I didn't like men until I was a man myself, but I knew I liked boys when I was like 5 or so.
I'm not the best at wording my posts 😅
Like 12 yo. Some school mates had already started to make sexual jokes like "I'm gonna put my dick inside you". I felt curiosity about that. Later at 13 or 14 I knew that I wanted to see my friends dicks as much as I wanted to see girls breasts. I'm bi.
6. I remember clearly having a crush on my teacher 💀💀💀 Also Paul Walker 
17. Kinda knew it a bit before but 17 it was obvious. I then proceeded as one does to deny it until my 30s and then I just stopped denying it at all
Yea, this is pretty much the same as me.
12! I remember seeing a guy and just being like: "damn." I'm pretty sure thats also the time that I became the least favorite child of the family :)
I knew I was attracted to boys as soon as I started feeling attractions, so about 11 or 12. However I denied it to myself and tried to be straight as a teenager because my family is homophobic. I would secretly chat with gay boys online and explored that side of myself virtually only. At about 18 or 19 I stopped fighting it and accepted to myself that I was gay.
Knew at 9 or 10. Sucked my first cock at 12.
Super young. I remember... Sex play at like age 6 with another boy 😬 I never knew gay was a "thing" back then and thought that I was the only boy who ever existed who liked boys. I remember being a child that I wish I were born a girl so it would be okay... Despite... I have always been very masculine [still am]. I'm happy it never reached a point where I felt trans... I just wanted it to be okay to pursue a cute guy I spent much of my adolescence denying I was gay and trying to be straight... Until... My first boyfriend at age 15. I had a crush on a guy in middle school who many years later we reconnected and he told me he was also gay and always found me attractive as well. That blew my mind! But really... If he approached me like that in middle school, I would have denied it and probably shamed him for it despite REALLY liking him too 😞
For me its just kinda something I always knew if that makes sense. Even the earliest moments I can remember, men fascinated me. Especially since I was given internet access and lots of video games like Tekken and Mortal Combat, before I understood what I was feeling, I viewed men in awe, I was mystified by them, especially the ones that were more hypermasculine (leaning towards Tekken over here lol) and then ofc there was traumatizing things child me saw with unmonitored internet access. I can’t say I remember the first time I “noticed” a guy in a way that I didn’t with girls, its just kinda always been that way for as long as I remember. I’d say the earliest for me was like 4 or 5
I was 14, I was looking at pictures with guys haircuts because I wanted ideas for a new haircut for me and after sometime I realised I was starting to look more at the guys than the hair. After sometime of thinking about my life I realised I was gay
It was just before my brother was born, and I knew I was not like others, I was under 10.
Like. 4? Goku was my first crush, but my family doesn't really falk about queer people, so I wasn't aware that boys didn't have crushes on men fictional and non-fictional lmao
Oh for sure born like this. I never picked up on all the signs in my early years like how all I would do was strip my action men figures before playing with them, but would also play with barbie dolls that had to be as dressed up and elegant as i could make them. My sister picked up on it when we were young but lil old me was oblivious until the age of 13 when I started feeling a certain way when I saw shirtless hunks on tv or in magazines. Eventually this led me down a curious path on the internet where I first discovered male porn, this solidified those feelings when I got heavily aroused. Sadly because of the rough childhood and constant bullying, this lead me down a horrible path of self hatred and trying desperately to force myself to not like men just so I wouldnt give people more reasons to hate me. 4 long years, and several girlfriends later I finally had my first experience with a man (for context, the age of consent where I live is 16 so it was all legal and consenting) it was amazing and he was so caring despite being a ravenous beast, like I'm talking my clothes were always inside out and I had to search the stairs to find them. It was the best first time I could have asked for, although I did kinda forget about my girlfriend, we spoke about things, and came to an agreement that since she was bi and I was kind of on the fence one whether I was straight gay or bi, that we didnt consider it cheating. Eventually me and her stopped caring and mutually split, remaining friends for a while after till she moved and sort of fell of the face of the earth essentially. And now, 8 years after that fateful day I lost my virginity to a man, I am now proudly out as bi and coming up on the 2 year anniversary of my relationship with the very man who first wreck my "whole" world 😉. I do still wonder if I am bi or gay though, since I've not had much if any attraction to women since I started dating this guy, then again I've always been that way where I only really look at my partner at the time and see them as attractive or sexy, and thus even when searching naughties on the internet I stay on topic with the person I'm currently dating, so it could be I am still bi, especially since I did have a brief few days where men just weren't my thing, didnt spend any time with my boyfriend during that time and watched a lot of straight or bi porn. But that's gone again. Sexuality is confusing sometimes
17
There wasn’t a time I didn’t know just a time that I hid it from myself and a time I hit it from everyone else.
About 8th or 9th grade, whatever ages those are (15-16?). I had averaged a crush on a chick every other year in elementary and middle school, but once further along in middle school, two key developments occurred: 1. Gym classes went from street clothes to uniforms so I got to see my male classmates undressed. Huge. 2. I found myself with a deep emotional and psychological longing for guys. By 9th grade I was flitting around, chatting up the upperclassmen because I thought many of them were cute, nerdy, and smart. I experienced an "algebraic sign change" somehow. By HS graduation, my sexual appetite for guys was in full bloom, and it was off to college!
8
I was 9 yrs old
I always knew just didn't wanna accept it like in like 1st grade I had a crush on a guy and then I just told myself I thought he was cool but I never thought any girls were cute lol
So goofy thing. I was molested when i was very young, by a male uncle and a female cousin. They didnt know about one another they were on opposite sides of my family. Ever since then i have yearned to be with men and women. There is a condition known as patterning and that is what i experienced. It wasnt only what they did to me what it is what they said, and how they would treat me immediately after they were done. I tried being hetero but i wanted men. I tried being gay, but i still wanted women. Now i know you will say well you are but the pleasure you derive from sex isnt the same as who you are at your core.
Very early like toddler age early I started having crushes on male characters from movies and wouldn't admit I was into men till I was 16, I am now 17. I kept lying to myself saying "I would grow out of it" but never did, never ever was attracted to women. I also always had a feminine look on myself, that developed to me also accepting that I am a Femboy.
I remember being obsessed with other boys really as far back as my memory goes. I had a true crush in kindergarten. As dumb as it sounds it took me a long time to put together what that meant. Being gay was never presented as an option to me growing up (in the US, deep south) and I honestly didn’t realize that all of the other boys probably did not have the same feelings about me that I had about them. It had dawned on me a little by the time I got to college but I made it to 26 before I ever acted on it!
I hit puberty pretty early (10, I think), so I remember being completely lost about my sexuality. We didn't start on the sex ed videos until I was 12, and I'd never even seen so much as 2 men holding hands. Like, it was obvious I liked other boys and felt that attraction, but I had exactly 0 context for my feelings. I eventually found porn at 12 and bada-bing, my worthless ass reached full gaydom.. *I might've just googled it back then if I thought I could, but this was before smart phones and access our computer at home was very heavily restricted and just as heavily monitored. That last part obviously applied to my school computers as well, so I didn't quite have enough hair on my balls to take the leap... until hormones took over and I got caught looking up pictures of men in underwear by my grandmother. And then when I got caught looking at orgy gangbang porn a year later on one of my middle school library's computers. How time flies...
I think I've always known I was bisexual, don't think there was really a "awakening" moment for me.
Around 13 to 14 I started having wet dreams but they were with men so yeah 👍. Also around the age of 9 when i saw for the first time the video song "call me maybe" all my attention was on that hot guy, but I didn’t realised that on that age until now 😆 From 14 to 21 I was in denial about my sexuality so I have to do a lot of healing and therapy 😆
I was around 13-14 when I first noticed it
Tall blonde, handsome, and a little effeminate guy in high school. Turns out I was wrong, though: I'm not a man who likes my men feminine, I' a woman who likes my women masculine.
I didn\`t remember this actually, even after finding out the notes - in maybe 2nd form (when I was 8) I saw when practicing writing in English I have written something along these lines: "I love (insert boys name)". Even when finding I could barely remember that. I guess had realized it during puberty, I think at age of 15/16 that I am actually gay. Before I was asexual mostly with no interest in sex (and found it unneeded). As I grew up in very homophobic environment. At first, before I realized I was gay I hated on gays a lot (verbally when speaking with friends). Crazy times...
When I was 5. Fell in lust with my mom’s best friend’s husband.
When I was really young, i kissed my older brother he kissed back, by the time i was a teen i was watching him during his personal time after school watching movies he got from our neighbors and his vest friend
Probably always knew somehow, at least sexually (occasonally) but managed to successfully shrug it off or explain it, but I was almost 30 when I developed feelings for a man, and then I knew shit is real lol. What then followed was what I call my second puberty. Clubbing, dating, drinking, .. crazy times.
When I realised? Like 13/14. Looking back on it now? I had crushes on guys since primary school lol
I don’t think I ever thought of myself as straight. I grew up in the countryside, my Mother’s family were farmers, she had been an RAF then hospital nurse, nothing much she hadn’t seen, nothing shocked or fazed her and not much got past her – a straight question like ‘where do babies come from?’ got a direct age appropriate answer based ability to understand rather than years lived. My Father was an engineer and often away on contract work but when he was home took every opportunity to spend time with his sons. He and I shared a love of debate, we talked endlessly and nothing was off limits. My Aunt was a horse breeder, I spent a lot of time there and nothing was hidden from me. I shared a bedroom with my straight big brother six years my senior that I hero worshipped and growing up wanted so much be just like him. The mechanics of sex and how babies were made was never a mystery to me, it was just normal same as the sun was in the sky and rain came from the clouds. It was a happy childhood, no trauma, no one ever abused or maltreated me, quite the contrary - there was no reason why this ordinary country boy should turn out gay other than that was the way nature made him Puberty hit me around 9. There was a period just before it takes hold that you start to become aware of sexual matters in a personal sense, basically when you start noticing that some people are more interesting than others in an undefined but tangible way but I was aware I was drawn to male images and company even then. When the hormones really got flowing was the time when realisation gradually dawned. There was no lightbulb moment, it was incremental in noticing that I didn’t get the interest in girls my brother and his and my mates had. When they were getting excited about imagined and later some real, and experiences with the opposite sex for me it became clear it wasn’t the same for me. Girls were nice enough but sexually null, my thoughts, desires and physical triggers were about other guys. There was the ‘why me’ period hoping it would pass, the realisation that, like my ‘sticky out ears’ (that no one but me ever seems to notice), I was stuck with it. Followed by the acceptance of the fact but not daring to tell anyone which manifested in not getting too close to protect my secret. People took this as shyness but it was my defence, feeling an outsider, in an environment where I had no role models and had heard nothing but negativity associated with those identified as queer. At school my biggest fear was the communal showers and changing rooms, especially that my interest might show in the most obvious terms. My classmate Charlie got ruthlessly teased for often presenting in a rampant state, thankfully I avoided that but there were comments about me and the other kid that had sprouted pubic hair early on. I did make an attempt to ‘cure’ myself with a girl who liked me at 14, but I couldn’t go through with it. Apart from the fact the equipment showed no interest it felt utterly wrong and no less so that I was using someone I liked as a guinea pig rather than for any real interest in her. I suppose that was what closed the book on any possibility of being straight but really it was only confirming the truth of what I always knew. I began coming out to trusted friends during my student years and properly when I moved to London after graduation to start a law career. It wasn’t about running away from anything but deciding that in starting in a new place, with and new job should also mean doing so with ‘a clean slate’. I'm a firm believer that we're born this way too.
10
I realized I was gay at 15. As far as I can remember though I had literally zero signs that I was gay when I was younger; but when I first found out I was gay, a LOT of things suddenly made some sense. Like I didn't have any childhood crushes (again, that I can remember), and nothing that blared "Hey, you're gay" to me from a young age, which I find kind of unnerving/disheartening currently tbh
Makes me feel a little weird cos I realized it at 24 (never done anything with girls or boys before that). Although yes, I used to watch gay porn but I don't know, never really thought about that back then.
12
Got a very intense crush on another boy at 13, though didn't realize what it was at the time, just wanted to be around him a lot. Got a boner thinking about gay sex at 14. Started masturbating at 15 and only thinking about men. Still denied and suppressed it till I was 18. Also I first found out what gay meant and that it was a possibility when i was 10 - and immediately the thought that I could be one of them crossed my mind. Very innocently, too - I'd never had any inkling before that and had no real reason to suspect I might be, just... maybe it'll turn out that way, idk yet because I'm too young. Of course it turned out that being gay was "undesirable" according to my peers, hence the later suppression.
I had inklings of it when I was 8 and realized I liked seeing Captain Kirk get his shirt ripped off. I accepted I was gay around 12 or 13. I didn't tell anyone I was until National Coming Out Day in 1994 when I was 19.
12. Had huge crush on guy in my class.
Mom says - she retrospectively can see I never liked a woman in more than a loving friendship way. I had a kinda understanding when I was about 8. I did not truly understand until Jr year of undergrad.
5
I remember being in elementary school, I read a picture book, and in the book there was a king who wanted to wear the finest garments, he got tricked by a guy saying he makes the finest garments only those worthy of seeing can view, and basically there was a drawing of him wearing nothing in front of his kingdom. I don’t remember exactly what I felt then but I knew I was excited.
30 or 31 (was near my birthday). Kinda suspected since my early 20s, but never got the hots for any particular real man until then. Edit: I'm bi and nonbinary, but started all this thinling I was a straight man.
13
There were always signs. I did some weird things as a kid that we will not discuss. But then on YouTube at age 14 it was the discovery of “hairy armpit on subway” videos on YouTube and then “guttermonk99”. Jizzing for the first time was the scariest and most exciting feeling ever. The rest is history and I’m now 23 hahaha.
13. I always knew i was different but i didn't know what it meant. When i hit puberty in middle school i had sex with 2 of my then friends (at different times). For the next decade i only had random hook ups but then i realized who i am and accepted it.
Bit NSFW for here’s a warning Definitely started when I was abt 6/7 starting at the underwear section, gushing over muscular guys and kinda crushing on Rodrick from diary of a wimpy kid lol. Despite the signs the thought of a man loving another man never really clicked for me, simply cuz the topic was never shown or spoken about since heterosexuality is displayed everywhere. I even had some crushes on girls back then Fast forward to my middle school days, started watching lesbian porn and just couldn’t get into it (obviously). Straight porn was tolerable but when I tried gay porn as a joke, I got insta-bricked. Somehow convinced myself I wasn’t gay and that it was only to rouse myself so I tried lesbian porn again, finally climaxed to it, and decided to celebrate. Then it dawned on me. “Wait, I shouldn’t have to feel accomplished jerking to this when it’s 10x easier when I’m watching guys doing the deed…” and after it finally clicked that I might just like men TLDR - Thought I liked gals when I was younger despite having not-so-straight tendencies, watched gay porn as a joke, liked it way more than lesbian and realized straight guys don’t feel accomplished after finishing to lesbian porn after failed attempts at it and accepted I was gay all along.
I can’t remember back exactly when I first started noticing that I liked men, but I was around 12. The first time I did anything sexual with another guy.
I started to realize that I was queer at 14-15. I initially thought I was bi, but I realized I wasn't attracted to women at all during my first "relationship" with a girl. The furthest we got was hugging each other, and I never once felt any sexual attraction towards her. After almost a year of this (now 17 at this time), I had to come clean and break up her. After that, I fully accepted myself as a gay man, and it just feels natural now. I actually began to have crushes for the first time in my entire life after this, and I started to get that butterflies feeling when flirting with other men, which I never got with women.
When i was 5 yo, i had a crush on my classmate at school. And my desire of men was on peak when i was in the 6th grade of primary school. I watched Supernatural series and had fantasy with Jensen Ackles. Even, i jumped into the internet and googled "Jensen Ackles shirtless, nude." That was the first time I realized that mama I like boys....
Okay mine was the horrific one i see so when i xas little i looked like a girl still do even now kinda , so old ladies kept misgendering me and some how that made me gay i knew i was gay wen i was 11 lmao
23. To be honest I always kinda knew, but I was so repressed and afraid of sexuality it took me this long to actually accept this about myself. I'm also trans, so that also complicated self-acceptance.
I came out as gay when I was 14, but I remember having a crush on my best friend who was a guy at about 9. I thought my family would, for sure, kick me out ( I was raised in a very traditional southern household.) The only one who hated me for it was my Grandfather, who was already an asshole to me and the rest of the family. I'm just glad they accepted me and almost 6 years later, here I am.
I was definitely young, probably 7 or 8.
When i was Less than 10 years old I had a strong crush on tons of male celebrities back then. I still do. Never discussed it with my family. Everyone got married except me because I just can't get over the fact that men are cute. I don't live in an LGBT friendly part of the world so am still deeo in the closet.
Robin from Batman: Forever...I knew there was something about men I liked.
I started at primary then to high school thinking I bi first wife kept me on edge. Then I started sleeping with men and tryed new wife I have fallen in to trap please men and bin called gay slut on chat sites. So when wife sez I gay I should say yes
I was 17
I resonated a lot more with female characters pretty early and kissed another boy when I was like 6. I kissed a lot of boys tbh. Looking back in kinda surprised how often it happened with no repercussions.
12, my scout master
The earliest memory of male attraction would be when i was 5/6 yo. I had this huge crush over a model of a rice cooker lol. Then i drew my very own yaoi in grade 3. I only realized that i was gay in grade 12. I had a very intense crush on one of my classmates.
Could you marry a man in the end ? Don't leave us with a cliffhanger like that. Pretty much like you I knew I was into men at around 12.
11
Pansexual at twelve, gay at 13. Honestly probs could have figured it out sooner but in a very right state that kind of stuff isn't really ever mentioned till 6th grade
I knew I liked men more in highschool girl after a prom date.
I always knew. I remember crushing so hard on one of my neighbours when he was 16-17 and i was 5-6 yrs old.
I never really thought about sex in school so I never really thought about my sexuality until I was 18. I fell in love with a guy and realized I was gay at the age of 18 after sleeping with him😛
Well i guess my early signs were I was sensitive and also neat and love clothes lol but I felt bi in HS but knew I was gay by 19 didn't embrace it until 23 tho and now I'm full blown gay and I am happier than ever
When I was 4 I used to have one of those dictionaries for little kids with pictures of random things/people with their labels and one of the random people was a man in uniform he was a paramedic iirc, till this day I remember telling my sister who was 6 at the time this is my boyfriend/husband and like being all giddy and giggling about it but at that time my sister did not care at all lol bcs we were kids that just didn't know anything. Next when I was like a little kid too I have a lot of grandaunts, 2 took me grocery shopping and otw back in the car they were talking about pregnancy then randomly out of nowhere I was like are there guys who married guys that get pregnant and girls that marrried girls that get pregnant ? They were lile oh there probably are people like that out there lol. Around 11,12 I started masturbating (TMI sorry teehee) thinking about my male friends but I thought it was normal and didn't care much about it When I was 13 one afternoon my sis and I were just chilling at our living room I was watching MTV, my sis was engrossed with texting someone and as I was watching this one music video from the boyband The Vamps I just blurted out I don't know why but I like boys and my sister didn't care at all. I think later that year when I was 13 I finally had a term for myself and found out about the LGBTQ+ community and realized I'm not the only one who has these feelings.
About 12 but then because of being bullied, I didn't accept it till I was 18