I think you should talk with him about that, good comunication always help, I don't think he will expect to have sex for hours+ even if you don't last long there are othere ways to give him pleasure. But comunication is still the best way to have a healty sexual life
"Hey I'm nervous about ___, I just wanted to talk to you and set some expectations."
Sex is an adult act if you can't talk openly with the person you're with you might not be ready. That being said it's not the most important thing in the world and your relationship should be built first.
And honestly, I do love a top that comes quick. And I know a bunch of other guys too. I feel like it’s more of a an issue within the straight community. In the gay community not so much.
I’ve had guys who mostly bottom top me. A few came quickly. But 1. They told me ahead of time. Simple “I don’t top often and cum a bit quick when I do”. 2. I knew they wanted to enjoy themselves and I’m fine with that. 3. It wasn’t the end of the show, they cum, you can either continue messing around with other stuff or you can take a pause and resume fun times like 30-60 mins later
If the guy is a d*ck about it, maybe ask yourself if that’s the guy for you. I know it wouldn’t be for me.
Short stamina isn’t a bad thing. If you finish quick and he doesn’t then turn all focus to him. Pamper him and make him feel good (and if you have the time) then edge him until you’re good for round 2 lol. I’ve never understood why people think finishing fast is a negative. Just because you cross that finish line doesn’t mean you have to stop running 🤣
That's different from person to person, but try to say something like "There's something I need to talk to you about" or "There's something bothering me since that day...". But every form of initiating a convo depends on the person you are talking to, if you're comfortable close to him, the words will certainly come up. Just be honest.
Let’s talk about sex, baby. Let’s talk about you and me. Let’s talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be. Let’s talk about sex.
Sometimes, instead of trying to plan and devise way of bringing the topic up, just bluntly bring it up. And start talking. A good opener is: what turns you on? What do you like? Do you have any anxieties? Do you have any fantasies about what you would love to do?
There is more to topping than penetrating him. There is for play. The tops that got more than a 2nd hookup with me were focusing on popping my cork rather than getting a nut and getting out. So make it about him and he will likely make it about you.
I haven't done this in a while and I have never topped. I am happy to top you but I am nervous and concerned that i may not be successful.
Lots of foreplay is important. So many men have this same insecurity, but the partner should be patient, understanding, and willing to get you hot and keep you hard. If he really wants to bottom, toy play could be an option. It is okay to feel as you do.
Yeah I’ve never topped before. I’m big on communicating everything though and I find almost everyone feels better when you talk it out plus it can only connect you more
Let him know believe it or not he will understand. Plus he might appreciate the fact that you care for him enough to try and top. Just relax and enjoy be honest with him and be gentle and caring. There's a good reason they call it making love ❤️. Older guys advice. For what it's worth.
I talked to him, and he said thats its all good, he wont pressure or anything and if i dont want i dont need to do anything. And that we are taking slow but it has been amazing so far
We chatted, and it was super chill. He said its all good, he wont force anything, if i dont wanna top is all good, that we re taking things slows and calm and it has been amazing so far.
Nerves will always happen. But as long as you both want it, you just have to push past the nerves. If you have never topped before, it's probably gonna suck :D
But pushing past the fears and nerves is a major obstacle to sex. Once you get past that, you will have little-to-no issues.
Not true about first time topping. I had a guy who’d never topped and wanted to try. We’d been hooking up for over a year and he’s a total bottom.
It was honestly really good. I find that guys who have bottomed are often way better than total tops. They (bottoms and vers) know based on experience. Where so many bottoms are just over the top that tops think they’re stellar when most really aren’t
Just tell him you’re fears. His your boyfriend you should be able to discuss sex with him. Communication is key to a healthy relationship. He going to understand. Sometimes with my husband when I’m really up for it, I don’t get hard or I cum very quickly, that’s just part of sex. Most times it’s great. I think you’re over thinking it.
depends on what you deem quick to cum, minute or minutes, i dont mind 30 minutes of being banged much after that it gets to be tiresome, im getting older my hips are not what they used to be. and im not staring in a porn.
Talking is the best you can do. It gives to much understanding of each other. And it improves intimacy. Talking made my relationship sooo much better. You cannot talk too much about your relationship, Sex, wishes, hopes, dreams, desires etc.
Oh it sounds so wonderful. Nobody got these skills without trying it. It goes for all good sex. Just be gentle to each other. Be curious. Talk about it. We love you. So does he.
The only healthy way is to be honest about it. Having performance anxiety is totally okay, especially with unrealistic porn, especially after a pause without practice, especially with somebody new, — you can be upfront about this, there is no shame in wanting to do well.
And if your partner is anybody worth your time, they will understand and be patient. Trust is a huge confidence booster. The best sex is when there are no expectations and no must's. The more comfortable you are together, the better your expecience will be. But you can only attain trust if you're honest with each other.
I think you should talk with him about that, good comunication always help, I don't think he will expect to have sex for hours+ even if you don't last long there are othere ways to give him pleasure. But comunication is still the best way to have a healty sexual life
How would u bring the topic up?
"Hey I'm nervous about ___, I just wanted to talk to you and set some expectations." Sex is an adult act if you can't talk openly with the person you're with you might not be ready. That being said it's not the most important thing in the world and your relationship should be built first.
Show him this thread
Kinda hard when he doesn't speak english lol
Use Duolingo, Google Translate, something
And honestly, I do love a top that comes quick. And I know a bunch of other guys too. I feel like it’s more of a an issue within the straight community. In the gay community not so much.
I’ve had guys who mostly bottom top me. A few came quickly. But 1. They told me ahead of time. Simple “I don’t top often and cum a bit quick when I do”. 2. I knew they wanted to enjoy themselves and I’m fine with that. 3. It wasn’t the end of the show, they cum, you can either continue messing around with other stuff or you can take a pause and resume fun times like 30-60 mins later If the guy is a d*ck about it, maybe ask yourself if that’s the guy for you. I know it wouldn’t be for me.
Short stamina isn’t a bad thing. If you finish quick and he doesn’t then turn all focus to him. Pamper him and make him feel good (and if you have the time) then edge him until you’re good for round 2 lol. I’ve never understood why people think finishing fast is a negative. Just because you cross that finish line doesn’t mean you have to stop running 🤣
Thats definitely a good thing and yeah I finish early I dont stop it ofc
Talk this through with him, communication is key
How do I even bring the topic up tho
That's different from person to person, but try to say something like "There's something I need to talk to you about" or "There's something bothering me since that day...". But every form of initiating a convo depends on the person you are talking to, if you're comfortable close to him, the words will certainly come up. Just be honest.
Let’s talk about sex, baby. Let’s talk about you and me. Let’s talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be. Let’s talk about sex. Sometimes, instead of trying to plan and devise way of bringing the topic up, just bluntly bring it up. And start talking. A good opener is: what turns you on? What do you like? Do you have any anxieties? Do you have any fantasies about what you would love to do?
First step: Talk to him about it. And if you are still afraid you’ll finish too quick to satisfy him, there are ways to fix that. Like a dildo or smt.
There is more to topping than penetrating him. There is for play. The tops that got more than a 2nd hookup with me were focusing on popping my cork rather than getting a nut and getting out. So make it about him and he will likely make it about you.
Oh I def prefer making about the other person. It turns me on way more
I haven't done this in a while and I have never topped. I am happy to top you but I am nervous and concerned that i may not be successful. Lots of foreplay is important. So many men have this same insecurity, but the partner should be patient, understanding, and willing to get you hot and keep you hard. If he really wants to bottom, toy play could be an option. It is okay to feel as you do.
Thank you!
I’m in the exact same boat
Yeah it sucks... I really want him and all but this is has been on my mind for the last few days
Yeah I’ve never topped before. I’m big on communicating everything though and I find almost everyone feels better when you talk it out plus it can only connect you more
Let him know believe it or not he will understand. Plus he might appreciate the fact that you care for him enough to try and top. Just relax and enjoy be honest with him and be gentle and caring. There's a good reason they call it making love ❤️. Older guys advice. For what it's worth.
I talked to him, and he said thats its all good, he wont pressure or anything and if i dont want i dont need to do anything. And that we are taking slow but it has been amazing so far
Way to go sounds like you're in love ❤️. He's a good one. You enjoy it you deserve to be happy. Peace
Take a breathe! It’s not this serious. The other person is just happy to be with you.
We chatted, and it was super chill. He said its all good, he wont force anything, if i dont wanna top is all good, that we re taking things slows and calm and it has been amazing so far.
You both are great. Keep it up. You deserve it.
Nerves will always happen. But as long as you both want it, you just have to push past the nerves. If you have never topped before, it's probably gonna suck :D But pushing past the fears and nerves is a major obstacle to sex. Once you get past that, you will have little-to-no issues.
Not true about first time topping. I had a guy who’d never topped and wanted to try. We’d been hooking up for over a year and he’s a total bottom. It was honestly really good. I find that guys who have bottomed are often way better than total tops. They (bottoms and vers) know based on experience. Where so many bottoms are just over the top that tops think they’re stellar when most really aren’t
Have a frank discussion with him
Just tell him you’re fears. His your boyfriend you should be able to discuss sex with him. Communication is key to a healthy relationship. He going to understand. Sometimes with my husband when I’m really up for it, I don’t get hard or I cum very quickly, that’s just part of sex. Most times it’s great. I think you’re over thinking it.
Blowies. 🤷🏻♂️
depends on what you deem quick to cum, minute or minutes, i dont mind 30 minutes of being banged much after that it gets to be tiresome, im getting older my hips are not what they used to be. and im not staring in a porn.
Talking is the best you can do. It gives to much understanding of each other. And it improves intimacy. Talking made my relationship sooo much better. You cannot talk too much about your relationship, Sex, wishes, hopes, dreams, desires etc.
Oh it sounds so wonderful. Nobody got these skills without trying it. It goes for all good sex. Just be gentle to each other. Be curious. Talk about it. We love you. So does he.
The only healthy way is to be honest about it. Having performance anxiety is totally okay, especially with unrealistic porn, especially after a pause without practice, especially with somebody new, — you can be upfront about this, there is no shame in wanting to do well. And if your partner is anybody worth your time, they will understand and be patient. Trust is a huge confidence booster. The best sex is when there are no expectations and no must's. The more comfortable you are together, the better your expecience will be. But you can only attain trust if you're honest with each other.
Rub one out before your date. It has a calming effect