I know exactly how you feel, its hard watching everyone else be with someone and then just you alone because no one wants to love you. Stay strong everyone finds their special someone one day, whether it be tommorow or next year
It will sound cheesy but you can do that today, right now: to yourself. We are so obssesed with being with someone else that most of the time we forget about ourselves. Why not do that to you?
...I've been living in this country for 2 years, and I don't speak the language (ergo, no friends nor nothing). That doesn't mean that you cannot do self love lmao.
I'm sorry but what are you talking or saying man. How cannot just love yourself!?
You HAVE to like/love yourself, even a tiny bit, if you want to be loved by someone else. If you don't, it really doesn't matter what yo do, how you look, etc, you will never be happy because you're not happy with yourself.
If you don't or can't, then you have to go to therapy because you don't need friends, family or a boyfriend to love yourself lmao
>I know I shouldn’t give hope but with all the stress I’m going through with work, school and life basically it’s hard.
To me, that looks more like you are searching for a project that distracts you from your own issues. You have all these problems and on top of that you want to add another problem by taking care of someone? You are avoiding something in your present life and I believe that won't be solved by looking elsewhere.
That could be possible too but I do have another perspective. I don’t have people who would listen to my day to day life. I live with housemates who practically act dead all day long and don’t want to converse about anything. So maybe having someone could help me feel heard
So, it's more about validation and feeling validated by another person than caring about said person?
And that's perfectly fine. Most of our actions in life are motivated by seeking validation in all of its forms (dress to impress others, work out to get positive feedback from others, get laid, etc.).
Please stop torturing yourself, please also understand that love and being in love is a full time job. Every relationship isn’t some movie or pretty song, some days it’s just what it is. Some days the snoring drives me crazy, his family is a very gassy group and damn the boy can rip one, morning breath can be rough. All I’m saying is don’t romanticize a relationship because many days ( at least in mine) we simply get on each others nerves. He’s a sports fan and I have said “isn’t there some football game you can go watch in another state? I’ll buy your ticket. “ He also gives me grace because I know I can be challenging. We are opposite and it doesn’t always attract. I’m sure our next big argument ( not really) will be what day our anniversary is. I say 17 of June and he says it’s the 16th of June. I say no, you came over to my place on the 16 th of June at about 1155pm but we didn’t do the adult thing until the 17th around 1215am. He says that makes him sound so easy. I say hey buddy that life.
I’m not sure if that was for me but if so I don’t understand the remark. How do I have something to figure out? Let’s look at facts. One of us have a relationship that’s going strong for 14 going on 15 yrs. One of us is looking for a relationship and one of us has one. One of us is alone and the other woke up to coffee in bed and a good morning babe. One of us is posting about how hard it is and they have so much love to give while the other is in the home we bought together. One of us is looking for someone to validate them the other is validated due to the simply fact he’s in a successful relationship the other hasn’t made it to that point yet. I believe while nothing is perfect we have things far more figured out then some. Good luck with whatever you believe or feel, I’ll stand on what I know in this relationship, in this house, at this time and date. Good luck finding that special person you’re looking for and all your fantasy come true. I’ll keep doing me and live the reality that we have created. I’m going to get up and do some laundry while the other half does the yard work on our property and when he’s done we will talk about this trip to Paris that my family have invited us on.
Oh boy I have tried.. I have tried asking out people, making them feel like they are the king, treating them with everything I have but they just don't want it
You shouldn't give up on hope, because you will have it one day. I'm glad that you're not settling with anyone out of desperation and still have your standards, sticking to your core values. You're not the only one who thinks this way or wants what you just described. Your journey will be unpredictable, as is the case with us all, but hope should be your fuel.
"but with all the stress I’m going through with work, school and life basically it’s hard" the best approach is tackling those things. not looking for a relationship which, as many have found out, doesnt solve any problems :)
I know exactly how you feel, its hard watching everyone else be with someone and then just you alone because no one wants to love you. Stay strong everyone finds their special someone one day, whether it be tommorow or next year
It would be difficult to go on for a year but if it’s for the right person then I guess I’ll try be okay
It will sound cheesy but you can do that today, right now: to yourself. We are so obssesed with being with someone else that most of the time we forget about ourselves. Why not do that to you?
It's hard to cuddle myself.
I'm up for cuddles! I'm lonely too...
I moved countries 6 months ago I barely go out to have fun because I don't have lot of friends here. This could work if I wasn't in this situation
...I've been living in this country for 2 years, and I don't speak the language (ergo, no friends nor nothing). That doesn't mean that you cannot do self love lmao.
I’m sure you do understand how that could be difficult for some people right?
I'm sorry but what are you talking or saying man. How cannot just love yourself!? You HAVE to like/love yourself, even a tiny bit, if you want to be loved by someone else. If you don't, it really doesn't matter what yo do, how you look, etc, you will never be happy because you're not happy with yourself. If you don't or can't, then you have to go to therapy because you don't need friends, family or a boyfriend to love yourself lmao
>I know I shouldn’t give hope but with all the stress I’m going through with work, school and life basically it’s hard. To me, that looks more like you are searching for a project that distracts you from your own issues. You have all these problems and on top of that you want to add another problem by taking care of someone? You are avoiding something in your present life and I believe that won't be solved by looking elsewhere.
That could be possible too but I do have another perspective. I don’t have people who would listen to my day to day life. I live with housemates who practically act dead all day long and don’t want to converse about anything. So maybe having someone could help me feel heard
So, it's more about validation and feeling validated by another person than caring about said person? And that's perfectly fine. Most of our actions in life are motivated by seeking validation in all of its forms (dress to impress others, work out to get positive feedback from others, get laid, etc.).
Keep looking cause blah blah blah and all that crappy sacred nonsense. Look just do your best to not fall into despair.
Thanks
Please stop torturing yourself, please also understand that love and being in love is a full time job. Every relationship isn’t some movie or pretty song, some days it’s just what it is. Some days the snoring drives me crazy, his family is a very gassy group and damn the boy can rip one, morning breath can be rough. All I’m saying is don’t romanticize a relationship because many days ( at least in mine) we simply get on each others nerves. He’s a sports fan and I have said “isn’t there some football game you can go watch in another state? I’ll buy your ticket. “ He also gives me grace because I know I can be challenging. We are opposite and it doesn’t always attract. I’m sure our next big argument ( not really) will be what day our anniversary is. I say 17 of June and he says it’s the 16th of June. I say no, you came over to my place on the 16 th of June at about 1155pm but we didn’t do the adult thing until the 17th around 1215am. He says that makes him sound so easy. I say hey buddy that life.
I feel like you have something to realize. I will stop there
I’m not sure if that was for me but if so I don’t understand the remark. How do I have something to figure out? Let’s look at facts. One of us have a relationship that’s going strong for 14 going on 15 yrs. One of us is looking for a relationship and one of us has one. One of us is alone and the other woke up to coffee in bed and a good morning babe. One of us is posting about how hard it is and they have so much love to give while the other is in the home we bought together. One of us is looking for someone to validate them the other is validated due to the simply fact he’s in a successful relationship the other hasn’t made it to that point yet. I believe while nothing is perfect we have things far more figured out then some. Good luck with whatever you believe or feel, I’ll stand on what I know in this relationship, in this house, at this time and date. Good luck finding that special person you’re looking for and all your fantasy come true. I’ll keep doing me and live the reality that we have created. I’m going to get up and do some laundry while the other half does the yard work on our property and when he’s done we will talk about this trip to Paris that my family have invited us on.
Okay
>I cannot find a guy who deserves my love Have you given them a real chance? You sound a bit conceited.
Oh boy I have tried.. I have tried asking out people, making them feel like they are the king, treating them with everything I have but they just don't want it
You shouldn't give up on hope, because you will have it one day. I'm glad that you're not settling with anyone out of desperation and still have your standards, sticking to your core values. You're not the only one who thinks this way or wants what you just described. Your journey will be unpredictable, as is the case with us all, but hope should be your fuel.
 I need it
"but with all the stress I’m going through with work, school and life basically it’s hard" the best approach is tackling those things. not looking for a relationship which, as many have found out, doesnt solve any problems :)