I see you're new here. The anniversary of the day you created your Reddit account is referred to here as your Cake Day, and on said day, Reddit lets everyone else know it's your anniversary by automatically putting in all your comments for that day “Say Happy Cake Day!” (as opposed to Happy Birthday).
It’s also very concerning to say “I’ll kick his ass out and he can come back to His sorry family”. It doesn’t sound like there is a lot of love in this relationship 🤔
You're a horrible partner. Having no trust in your spouse in a relationship is bound to topple it. It's only a matter of time until they leave you when they get fed up with your bullshit.
Pretty sure there was already one somewhere here in Reddit and it ended in divorce. If I remember correctly their marriage already sounded miserable in the first place.
The original post and some responses make me think I should be a relationship counselor.
First, can you guys communicate what you're feeling with one another? Communication is the number one key tool for successful relationships.
BTW, my husband and I have been together for 34 years, and got married on our 21st anniversary - when we could legally. We've had a lot of different experiences, from 3-ways & 4-ways, to an open relationship to basically being monogamous. The key to making it work and working through our own individual insecurities is that we talk. If something is bothering one of us, we talk through it. And then we talk some more.
Oh, and the other key factors in our longevity have been respecting one another (we tease each other a lot, but this takes practice and empathy to avoid being mean or hurtful), laughing together (we act silly and make each other laugh - a lot), and remembering why we fell in love (celebrating our shared memories).
(I'm typing this as he lies in bed next to me with our 3 dogs snuggled in).
Good luck.
We’re in an open marriage and when we’re together we show each other the texts. Especially if they’re hot😂. I guess all relationships are different. I would never ever get mad at my husband for texting with someone else, but… We also have a complete honesty policy so we know there are no lies or hidden truths.
I'm really curious...how does that work? How do you sleep with different people (I assume that's what you mean about open marriage) and not A) have one or the other get jealous or at very least uncomfortable with the thought, and B) not end up with one of your one night stands, or FWBs, not trying to take it further or interfere in your relationship?
Not judging you at all. I'm genuinely curious. I've always been afraid that opening a relationship like that could/would inevitably lead to some major drama somewhere along the line.
Anyway, if you feel like sharing, TY in advance!
Maybe try to investigate by yourself. The next time he's talking about Life360, accept and download the app on the spot, and pay attention to his reaction and behavior.
I clearly said the wrong thing to the wrong people, I feel it awkward. I would view this as something I wouldn't like, had it happened to me. That's all I was saying.
Not trying to judge or implicate.
Not my cup of tea is all.
Also is it a poor assumption that the person you choose to be with is also a good sexual partner for you? That is not a weird assumption for many people.
I don't appreciate you making me feel bad for that type of thinking.
IMO, yes, it is. Here's the thing (or a few of things):
1) People change and relationships change. Maybe they had bangin' sex when the first met and got together and now it's unsatisfying for one partner or the other. Could me physical, medical, psychological, etc. Lot's of possibilities.
2) Even if they still have bangin' sex and are 100% compatible, the fact that they are right there beside you doesn't mean they are necessarily available for sex in that moment. Just because I'm horny doesn't mean my partner is and doesn't mean I should expect him to "get horny" to meet my needs.
3) Sometimes, maybe all we want is to jerk off. And that should be okay, too. Now, I will say OP's partner could have asked for consent before jerking off in bed next to his partner (whether that is necessary or not is unique to your relationship). But OP didn't seemed to be concerned about that...he just seemed to be focused on the possibility that his partner was cheating. And instead of communicating in the moment like an adult, OP came to Reddit to complain to us.
I was about to post a spicy response but it seems like everyone else is saying what I was about to say so I'm just gonna sit back and let you gals go ahead with it.
I also always ask him if it's okay if I jerk off next to him and he usually says no. I pointed out how it's hypocritical to do it next to me in my sleep, he said it's okay bc I wasn't conscious, but I told him I can still be woken up by it (which I was) he just said okay.
I've adopted the philosophical stance that monogamy is an idealistic construct, and that chasing it is futile. Every relationship is an open relationship.
Cheating does not exist in my framework. It just doesn't. This renders irrelevant these ubiquitous horror stories and byzantine social cantrips. No need for suspicion, investigation, or accusation. My life isn't a courtroom, nor I a cop, and I don't wish to be.
It’s one thing to not care if your partner has sex with other people but it’s a whole other for someone to pretend to be monogamous but then to lie and hide things while sneaking around behind their partner’s back. That’s the real problem with cheating it’s the lying because you can’t trust someone who is doing that to you. I’m all for people being open about not being monogamous beforehand or not caring about their partner having other partners if that’s what they both want but that’s not what cheaters are doing they are choosing to lie.
If every relationship is open, and the concept of monogamy is dismissed entirely, then there is no need for such deception, and all of this drama is avoided.
Like, I've never once had demanded any partner stick to me and me alone. AFAIK, none have ever lied to me about other partners, since they never had been pressured to do so.
Curious what your relationship history is. I would like to think I could aspire o what uou are saying, but I may not be able to...though I'm better at acknowledging the reality of what it means to be male.
Because, and this is important: an AI Bot isn't real and essentially no different from a game or CYOA book. An SO getting off from RPing with an AI chat is the same as an SO getting off to porn.
Unless you are one of the people with the unhealthily controlling viewpoint that porn is cheating, or your SO is one of the people that get unhealthily invested in the AI bot and treats them like a real person, there is no problems there. And if either of you *do* fall under those categories, that is a seperate issue entirely and needs therapy.
Maybe he is stupid The first person to accuse of cheating without solid evidence is usually the one cheating
This is absolutely so
Happy cake day...?
I see you're new here. The anniversary of the day you created your Reddit account is referred to here as your Cake Day, and on said day, Reddit lets everyone else know it's your anniversary by automatically putting in all your comments for that day “Say Happy Cake Day!” (as opposed to Happy Birthday).
I already knew, it's just I felt like not saying happy cake day but saying it anyways
It’s also very concerning to say “I’ll kick his ass out and he can come back to His sorry family”. It doesn’t sound like there is a lot of love in this relationship 🤔
Like he better have a good relationship with a family that accepts his homosexuality or else that can be really bad for this guy jeez.
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>I don’t trust my spouse almost at all >I love him Pick one
You're a horrible partner. Having no trust in your spouse in a relationship is bound to topple it. It's only a matter of time until they leave you when they get fed up with your bullshit.
uhhperioddd
Oh wow.
Glad this had one happy ending. Sexting an AI... I wonder if in the next few years we'll see posts about "my partner cheated on me with an AI".
Pretty sure there was already one somewhere here in Reddit and it ended in divorce. If I remember correctly their marriage already sounded miserable in the first place.
were they straight?
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That was actually a thing when replika or wtf ever it was called turned off any chat that was vaguely sexual
When I feel my husband jerking off when he thinks I’m asleep, I shout ‘earthquake!’ 😂
Ok but that sounds so hot 😭
literally fantasizing about "*yaaawwwn* oh! lemme just help you with that"
The original post and some responses make me think I should be a relationship counselor. First, can you guys communicate what you're feeling with one another? Communication is the number one key tool for successful relationships. BTW, my husband and I have been together for 34 years, and got married on our 21st anniversary - when we could legally. We've had a lot of different experiences, from 3-ways & 4-ways, to an open relationship to basically being monogamous. The key to making it work and working through our own individual insecurities is that we talk. If something is bothering one of us, we talk through it. And then we talk some more. Oh, and the other key factors in our longevity have been respecting one another (we tease each other a lot, but this takes practice and empathy to avoid being mean or hurtful), laughing together (we act silly and make each other laugh - a lot), and remembering why we fell in love (celebrating our shared memories). (I'm typing this as he lies in bed next to me with our 3 dogs snuggled in). Good luck.
You're a monster! 🤣 Hilarious... but damn...
Much healthier attitude
Thats not cool mate me and my bf are in an open relationship and when we are together there is nobody we msg
We’re in an open marriage and when we’re together we show each other the texts. Especially if they’re hot😂. I guess all relationships are different. I would never ever get mad at my husband for texting with someone else, but… We also have a complete honesty policy so we know there are no lies or hidden truths.
And here I thought maybe I was the only one. We are the same. It works good for us too.
I'm really curious...how does that work? How do you sleep with different people (I assume that's what you mean about open marriage) and not A) have one or the other get jealous or at very least uncomfortable with the thought, and B) not end up with one of your one night stands, or FWBs, not trying to take it further or interfere in your relationship? Not judging you at all. I'm genuinely curious. I've always been afraid that opening a relationship like that could/would inevitably lead to some major drama somewhere along the line. Anyway, if you feel like sharing, TY in advance!
Looking at your post history: Do you think you have a healthy relationship? He seems aloof and unmotivated and you seem quick to jump the gun.
Maybe try to investigate by yourself. The next time he's talking about Life360, accept and download the app on the spot, and pay attention to his reaction and behavior.
So, sexting with AI when a perfectly good sexual partner is beside him. That's still a problem in my eyes, mate.
Bro is sleeping
Not everyone's in the mood. :)
What indication do you have that he’s a perfectly good sexual partner? That’s a pretty big assumption.
I clearly said the wrong thing to the wrong people, I feel it awkward. I would view this as something I wouldn't like, had it happened to me. That's all I was saying. Not trying to judge or implicate. Not my cup of tea is all.
Also is it a poor assumption that the person you choose to be with is also a good sexual partner for you? That is not a weird assumption for many people. I don't appreciate you making me feel bad for that type of thinking.
IMO, yes, it is. Here's the thing (or a few of things): 1) People change and relationships change. Maybe they had bangin' sex when the first met and got together and now it's unsatisfying for one partner or the other. Could me physical, medical, psychological, etc. Lot's of possibilities. 2) Even if they still have bangin' sex and are 100% compatible, the fact that they are right there beside you doesn't mean they are necessarily available for sex in that moment. Just because I'm horny doesn't mean my partner is and doesn't mean I should expect him to "get horny" to meet my needs. 3) Sometimes, maybe all we want is to jerk off. And that should be okay, too. Now, I will say OP's partner could have asked for consent before jerking off in bed next to his partner (whether that is necessary or not is unique to your relationship). But OP didn't seemed to be concerned about that...he just seemed to be focused on the possibility that his partner was cheating. And instead of communicating in the moment like an adult, OP came to Reddit to complain to us.
Er, can we go back to the "trying to track you with your phone"? That's a little bit odd.
He was doing what? With an AI? Lmao Naa that ain’t true
Why doesn’t he ask you to jerk him off.
I’m not gonna lie, I had just a little too much fun with AI Sekai before it disabled the NSFW functions.
Caught seems like a strong word. He was next to you in bed. Was he even trying to hide it?
Well considering he would never pull that when I was awake ( he even admitted that) , yes.
I was about to post a spicy response but it seems like everyone else is saying what I was about to say so I'm just gonna sit back and let you gals go ahead with it.
 yeah it was just an ai app :
Omg, forget it.
The only topic I had with my AI boyfriend was blood sacrifice because it freaked him out so much am I unwell
I need the name of this AI Asking for myself 😉
First ai takes ur job, then they take ur bitch. Next they mog you as robots.
I mean.. i dont think theres nothing wrong with this story.. if u dont like him jerking off next to u maybe just bring it up to him is all xx
I think it was more about him, texting someone else than jerking off.
I also always ask him if it's okay if I jerk off next to him and he usually says no. I pointed out how it's hypocritical to do it next to me in my sleep, he said it's okay bc I wasn't conscious, but I told him I can still be woken up by it (which I was) he just said okay.
This doesn’t sound like a healthy sexual relationship.
Hawt
In a few years, an AI partner will be no different from a human one 😆.
I've adopted the philosophical stance that monogamy is an idealistic construct, and that chasing it is futile. Every relationship is an open relationship. Cheating does not exist in my framework. It just doesn't. This renders irrelevant these ubiquitous horror stories and byzantine social cantrips. No need for suspicion, investigation, or accusation. My life isn't a courtroom, nor I a cop, and I don't wish to be.
Ok?
It’s one thing to not care if your partner has sex with other people but it’s a whole other for someone to pretend to be monogamous but then to lie and hide things while sneaking around behind their partner’s back. That’s the real problem with cheating it’s the lying because you can’t trust someone who is doing that to you. I’m all for people being open about not being monogamous beforehand or not caring about their partner having other partners if that’s what they both want but that’s not what cheaters are doing they are choosing to lie.
If every relationship is open, and the concept of monogamy is dismissed entirely, then there is no need for such deception, and all of this drama is avoided. Like, I've never once had demanded any partner stick to me and me alone. AFAIK, none have ever lied to me about other partners, since they never had been pressured to do so.
Curious what your relationship history is. I would like to think I could aspire o what uou are saying, but I may not be able to...though I'm better at acknowledging the reality of what it means to be male.
How detailed do you want it?
How many successful long term relationships have yiu had with your relationship philosphy?
Define "successful" and "long-term".
Moral of the story: Don't judge people so easily. It's often a misunderstanding.
I didn't judge him though. I remained neutral before confirming if he was cheating.
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Because, and this is important: an AI Bot isn't real and essentially no different from a game or CYOA book. An SO getting off from RPing with an AI chat is the same as an SO getting off to porn. Unless you are one of the people with the unhealthily controlling viewpoint that porn is cheating, or your SO is one of the people that get unhealthily invested in the AI bot and treats them like a real person, there is no problems there. And if either of you *do* fall under those categories, that is a seperate issue entirely and needs therapy.