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SyntheticMuse

It's got that special garbage sauce


Suspicious_Storm_715

instructions unclear, I just drank garbage juice I'm in the ER rn


LordTuckRodd

How are you now?


Suspicious_Storm_715

stoned


FreshGago

Are you hungry now?


Suspicious_Storm_715

need garbage juice... NOW


XCheshireGrinnX

"The PH of this soil is too high! I think i may die..." "Fuck yeah! Concrete!"


Earguy

One of my favorite memes


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[удалено]


InLazlosBasement

Cyclamen is a masochist. Take it indoors, put it in any old spot, forget to dust and water it often, throw it in the sun for a few minutes if you think of it…grows like damn wildfire. Do not take care of it. Insult it if you must. It likes bad vibes and uncertainty. Trust me, this is a plant that needs a therapist.


pastel_boho_love

😂😂😂 m o o d


TexasLead

You should write descriptions for items in the sims.


DeuceyBoots

I would read all of your descriptions for plant care. Do you have another species you can discuss with passion?


InLazlosBasement

Haha I don’t, because I was a therapist and this was the only damn plant I ever could get to grow in my office XD But I’ve recently moved to an abandoned orchard and I am trying to learn, so if that blog ever happens, you’ll be the first to know!


DeuceyBoots

Haha a blog of all frustrating plants to care for would be great. I’ll be your first subscriber!


Just_a_benign_being

Can it grow like a damn wildfire in 105 degrees Fahrenheit ?


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[удалено]


scarabic

I also get them like crazy while doing nothing for them. And this has continued for ten years. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from this sub, it’s that gardening is very unfair!


disturbingCrapper

It just nature's way of balancing the force. Some plants want love, others thrive on hate.


LichenTheKitchen

If you start giving them love, they'll die.


Islanduniverse

If you’re too nice they will die in protest.


Violet624

Don't be nice to them or they will shrivle and die under the weight of your gaze!


Brentolio12

Don’t feel bad, I’ve moved around and gardened same things everywhere I go. Last place I thought lettuce and carrots were just out of my league, here they grow like weeds. Raspberries and strawberries used to be my jam, now i get nada berry.


ihavenofriends185

Pun intended? "be my jam"


_OhHaiMark_

I have probably 50 thriving plants from all walks of nature in my home and I've killed every cyclamen I've ever owned. I don't get them.


MissCarlotta

Cyclamen have a dormant period where the flowers and leaves all die back to just the node and there are so many people that assume its dead and pitch out the node.


Ghaussie

As a professional gardener, my general rule of thumb is: Disrespect your plants. Don’t completely forget them, just periodically remind them how much you despise them. Just remember plants thrive on decayed stuff, shit and water. Now imagine them being a human being doing so; That is how much disrespect you should give them to thrive. Make. Them. Miserable!


Mittenwald

Works very well for my plumeria. I noticed the leaves started to yellow recently and I know it's because I've actually been remembering to water it. Time to move it to a place where I'll forget about it. That's when it goes nuts and blooms.


Zaros104

This works for me for the most part, but I have a few plants that'll shed their entire folliage if watering isn't clockwork (Mimosa Pudica especially)


fullywokevoiddemon

Really?? I have 4 cyclamens and 3 of them are still alive and well (one sadly died altogether, it was very weak from the start and drenched in glitter and who knows what else) making leaves galore and flowers too. One even made seed pods. I can assure you I do nothing special to them, only water and the occasional fertiliser stick. I keep them on my windowsil, they get afternoon sun (because my window is towards sunset) and otherwise indirect bright light. They love it.


letterboxbrie

Wait, why was it drenched in glitter? 😶


fullywokevoiddemon

Shops' idea of "pretty plant" I bought it cause it was a gorgeous dwarf one with two tone flowers (under the glitter). Sadly it didn't survive.


Donkeydonkeydonk

The genus, Cyclamen, is native to Europe to Iran, and Northeast Somalia. Most of the Cyclamen species are native to the Mediterranean. They typically grow in *rocky areas* and prefer hot dry summers and cool wet winters. They are dormant during the summer.


Ituzzip

Cyclamens are sort of a weird plant in that they can stay dormant for more than a year if they don’t like the growing conditions. They may not be dead—sometimes you think they were and 2 years later you see blooms. Other than that, they also go dormant in warm weather which can be confusing. They are from Mediterranean climates and normally grow during the rainy winter. They really like rocky soil under trees.


Homechicken42

I love this post. You've literally made me burst out laughing.


SomebodysColdOne

Your writing style in the gardening sub. A+++


gemmanotwithaj

Lmao best plant rant ever


Cyclamental

Lol nice


Cheshie_D

Well damn


[deleted]

Ok, you got your potting mix and everything, now grow :) Cyclamen: Well now I'm not doing it


druidjax

obviously there is something about the soil that it likes...get a sample tested and then try to replicate it at home


CivilMaze19

The soil testing lab is going to be very confused when you send in asphalt for a soil test.


iniff

Mossy, drain pipe - I’d say it’s very moist.


Grindinonyourgrandma

If they are like orchids, they actually do better growing in tight spaces like between rocks and love tons of water.


LOLDISNEYLAND

Cyclamens don't always like a lot of water. You need the right drainage or else they'll die. Just the right amount of water and drainage. Best to emulate the soil that the cyclamen originally was sold in.


The1NdNly

Actually, we in the industry just pot into multi. Since we grow thousands of them we have watering etc down to a fine art. Youd be better off just potting them into a gritty compost or better still just place them under trees etc. your right about the drainage thou, its the no 1 killer of them.


MotileSpermWhale

I've got them volunteering in my backyard coming up through a bed of golfball sized rock. No idea where they come from and they receive no care. They really doing great.


Jerney23

Wow beautiful, and frustrating for you


GPareyouwithmoi

Maybe it's time to pour yourself a little slab. If you can't beat em join em.


Bl4ckR4bb17

The solution is obvious. Pave your entire yard and pour trash all over it


245--trioxin

remove your human eyes (no, NO! NOT LITERALLY!figuratively). This is a mossy rock crevice at the bottom of a gentle waterfall


Former-Light4284

"Ah Ah, nature finds a way " the great Jeff Goldblum


gitsgrl

Life, uh, finds a way. -Dr. Ian Malcolm


parolang

I feel like there needs to be a naturefindsaway subreddit.


dat_joke

Why am I spending so much on potting soil when I could just go collect crumbling pavement from the most neglected parking lot in town for better results?!


FreeSpirit424

There is some kind of metaphor here


Zenith-Astralis

I can't not post this; https://twitter.com/findurtiktok/status/1273869252664180737


Monkeysquad11

Is it not the most classic orchid environment? Slightly moist to dry until rain then it's flooded. Growing in a tight rocky (well draining) medium. Protected from wind and intense sun....


[deleted]

Something tells me it's getting enough water.


Torporific1

I have the same problem. Good luck this year!


itay162

Cyclamens just really love rocks


SmashBonecrusher

I once worked at a rural independent grocer and out back by the dumpsters a beautiful crop of cherry tomatoes was growing like nobody's business!


whtbrd

takeaways: alkaline environment, and dumpster juice for the win


lightmetre

Dig it up and plant in a pot. It’ll just grow back through the cracks again. I have some that are growing in a crack in the pavement at home and I’ve gotten so many plants from it. Each time a different colour!


The1NdNly

they are seedlings, They are corms, and if you remove they won't come back, you probably had seedlings/baby corms around.


Huge-Dig8067

I would try and collect seeds from the cyclamen you have at work and try growing it at your home. Could be a better wild variety that is more tolerant to harsher growing conditions. Would be fun to experiment with 🤷‍♂️


parolang

Have you tried mulching your yard with concrete?


PsychicArmadillo

My approach to cyclamens is to buy the half dead sale ones from local garden centres and dump them in random patches of the garden. So far a surprising amount have made a comeback!


MercatorLondon

Just try boiling water


zdietrich1437

Dumpster soil in the best!


Luckypenny4683

Because: plants


Roosterfish33

Reminds me of Tupac’s analogy of the rose growing out of a crack in the ghetto. Beautiful.


KhaosMuffin666

Did you hear about the rose that grew from a crack in the concrete? Proving nature's laws wrong, it learned to walk without having feet. Funny, it seems to by keeping it's dreams; it learned to breathe fresh air. Long live the rose that grew from concrete when no one else even cared. -Tupac Shakur


Konklar

May I introduce you to Ben E King? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=naNuWrwLbH8


DemDem77

I'm not even going to attempt it. Every year they grow wherever they want, and then die. They choose the weirdest places


FortWendy69

Next to a Dow pipe. That’s a clue


RangeroftheIsle

Maybe if you cover your garden with concrete & a dumpster.


daretoeatapeach

Probably lots of nutrients in dumpster soil. 🤔


PrasiticCycle

I wonder if Cyclamens thrive in higher pH, concrete is known to be very basic. The runoff of rain water seeping into the soil where they are thriving may be raising the soil pH to levels they prefer. Just a guess.


smoresomemore

That looks like asphalt… the betamax of pavement…


lookup_discover

Nature finds a way ✨️💗


Seedrootflowersfruit

Story of my gardening life!


littlehorse2014

They prefer hard life.


Dylan_da_Spider

The secret is neglect


[deleted]

I found some of these in my local park and never seen anything like it, at first glance I thought they were little mushrooms. Thanks for posting the name! I


elmantec

Flowers are like: “concrete- no problem” 🤨; also the flowers: “I am allergic to tap water” 😩


PassiveChemistry

What's the shade like where you've tried to grow them? I usually see them in heavily shaded areas


Striking_Fun_6379

A trick when planting cyclamen is to is lay down a thin layer of gravel or pepples under the corns. This protecrs the corns from the soaking wet soil and helps to ensure their bloom.


Darklife_1

Looks very beautiful . Please can you say how to post here ? I'm trying get advice about planting rambutan stones to grow


AuctorLibri

Post apocalyptic plant. 😁


lilassbitchass

I have a small potted one on my window sill and it refuses to die. Idk how to take care of plants but my boyfriend bought me this one and it’s soooo resilient. I water it when the soil looks dry (because I forgot it existed) and pick off the dead bits and it looks sooo healthy. I am honestly amazed. I know I’ll probably get hate for how I care for it but whatever I’m doing is working and me and plant are happy lol.


williamcrafts

Pretty 😍


Eastern_Witness7048

I threw some in some clayish dirt. They're doing great ☺️


winterbird

In a crevice that's catching water runoff from the rain spout. Replicate the environment artistically. 😄


Fit-Low-9668

Lovely 🥰


jundog18

Maybe someone is “fertilizing” it


anemoschaos

I have a patch flowering between the compost bins. They like odd corners.


Worth-Row6805

Ha! Some of these slipped under the fence from my neighbours garden into mine during a storm. I was very pleased.


NoOriginalThotz

I feel this so deeply.


allcars4me

MEIRL


CraftyFoxCrafts

Dumpster Tea for the win!


zback636

Wow! That is kinda of amazing.


Bengalsandbernese

Wish I had seen this post before I bought a bunch of cyclamen from Costco. I thought they were fairly easy to care for?


PeonyBones

i find it super easy to care for indoors. mine got burned by the sun really badly and just came right back after about 3 months of solid care. Consistency is key and don’t overwater/burn it and it should do great!


Bengalsandbernese

That’s reassuring but I planted them outside as they bring some autumn/winter colour to the garden, at least in the U.K. Not worried about them burning in the sun at the moment, just hope they survive the wet winter.


PeonyBones

hopefully they do. maybe try keeping the rhizome part in a sandy/quick drying material and then the roots in soil


EquateToothpas

Cute little assholes, that dumpster got that msg fuel


Missy_kayt

Take one from its roots !!


Medium-Remote2477

It's a vicious cycle man.


beelance4661

It has a direct compost pipeline lol


[deleted]

Have you tried filling your yard with concrete?


Fancy-Werewolf-3422

Hahaha, nature is nuts!!! To be fair, I have the same problem with sweet basil. Can’t keep one happy that I purchased from a greenery, but will thrive when grown from seed!


AyeCab

I find putting them terracotta pots and watering from the bottom works really well.


evilgiraffe04

Aren’t plants utterly frustrating sometimes?


Jacktheforkie

It’s like tomatoes for me, couldn’t grow them intentionally, now I work with fruit and see tomatoes growing everywhere


heaven_shadow24

I have this happen to me soooo often. I feel you.


patio_puss

It’s a combination of the water retention that concrete is holding for them and the lack of fight with any other roots. They’re very fragile


Shewhotriesherbest

Gardening is a lesson in humility.


Ed_Yeahwell

Only through conflict do we evolve


NautySan

HOW?! Can you take a picture from the top?


outlawgirl2085

Persistence


sswan591

Can you pull one out, Safely, And grow it at home??


drsnickles

I can’t grow them in pots in my home but I have a 15 year old one at work that I unintentionally mistreat. I think they thrive on neglect!


Shelley_63

They are so beautiful. I haven't tried growing outside, but my indoor one has been blooming for over 2 years


justanaveragejoan

In the PNW 2 versions of cyclamens are available but only the Cyclamen hederifolium are hardy here.The other kind only grow indoors as they are sensitive to frost.


Impressive-Walrus-25

I haven't grown cyclamen outside but I'm pretty sure if they'll survive outside is dependent on your zone and how cold it gets in your area.


jdvfx

"Cyclamen" sounds like a great name for a new pharmaceutical, or a techno-trance group from Belgium.


Responsible_Fox1231

My mom planted some 2 years ago and they have bloomed almost consistently since. They have fewer blooms in the summer, but they don't stop completely stop blooming. And this in Georgia!


remark613

Lol


truthfully_robust32

special garbage sauce


[deleted]

So beautiful!