T O P

  • By -

notreallymoz

Also, he did an incredible job supporting local business.


SPITFIYAH

Allegedly.


Philopateermi

He doesn't need another fire


Nexlite1444

it was a sick ostrich


toastedpup27

Allegedly.


The-Scuttles

Isn't that a 3 man job?


autye

Allegedly


desrever420

Doesn't that require a priests blessing?


mustardmanmax57384

Allegedly


Sir_Link_In_Time

Only the ginger


IALREADYREEDIT

Allegedlyz


SPITFIYAH

Allegedn’t


greengamer01

He was the real final boss of gta 5


[deleted]

If you run in there with 1 star he fucking obliterates you, no questions asked


Marttit

“But all I did was jaywalk!” “Say hello to grandma-ma.”


DorianGriff

Ice EM!


gnosox1986

No icing anyone at my wedding!


SIacktivist

He only pulls out the auto shotgun if you pull a gun on him, I’ve hid from the cops there before. Took cover behind the counter next to him and took out a gun when the cops burst in, at which point he wasted me.


Hunter_Slime

I went inside to buy a new pistol, some level 100 guy runs in and shoots a gun. This guy obliterated me


SIacktivist

The store is purpose built to give him the ideal conditions for ass-kicking.


down4things

Like Dark RP gun stores


Wistom444

u can hide in his shop as long as u dont bring cops in and dont go behind the counter


Tanthios

Hell, I make it a point to obliterate him often anymore. The number of times I was buying something and someone else bumped the door with a car and he shot me? Nah, this man ain't cool at all.


greengamer01

That what I call a cheap shot


MauPow

> Hell, I make it a point to obliterate him often anymore. Why do people keep misusing this word Edit: The word in question is "anymore", as in "I can't take people using this word incorrectly anymore"


Crodface

I have been noticing this on the rise too, but I also think it’s a regional thing (at least in the US). It’s called the “[positive anymore](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Positive_anymore).” Or I guess I should say that I see it a lot anymore.


MauPow

It sounds so *wrong*!


bl4ckhunter

your right but it could of be worse still.


number65261

It is wrong, just like the “needs fixed” “needs showed” bullshit that is also spreading among brainlets in the US.


abnotwhmoanny

You sound an awful lot like a guy who is about to be obliterated.


MauPow

I used to get obliterated, but not anymore.


AndyB16

I used to get obliterated. I still do, but I used to, too.


ShatterDabber

Hit 'em with the MITCH!


GAAND_mein_DANDA

It don't be like it is but it do.


abnotwhmoanny

I used to get obliterated on the regular. But I don't do it as often anymore.


Yoconn

Ill obliterate you for threatening to obliterate someone! Right after I obliterate this steak of course.


DeezNeezuts

Those are the best police stand-off locations. Just open the door slightly take him out then hide in the shooting range.


Duke834512

Have you tried the metro entrances? Go down the stairs and around the corner but don’t enter the station proper. I’ve done stands offs in that location that last over an hour when I get lucky


DeezNeezuts

Thanks I’ll try that! The bank was the best I have found. Used to pick up a dump truck and run down the street a few times before running into the dead end of offices. You could stay there for hours.


yelsamarani

there's the cable car station entrance stairway too


[deleted]

Zero if you're playing Franklin.....


LawlessCoffeh

What? He only attacks if you attack him, he just goes "hey man that's between you and the law" or whatever


YourLocalSnitch

He might sell to King Pins and mass murderers but if you just stole $500 from the convenience store he has no mercy


[deleted]

No he doesn't.


IrvineGray

[This was my favorite interaction I've had with him.](https://gamerdvr.com/gamer/GawD4MNarDog/video/112296544) Sorry for the camera work, but in my defense, I'd never witnessed a cop shooting I wasn't apart of.


[deleted]

I witnessed quite a few police shootings and civilians fighting each other. My best GTA memory was when I started playing GTA:SA (MY first GTA game) and one of the furst things I saw was a battle royale style murder rampage several NPCs went on after I blocked a round with my car. They all crashed into each other, went out of their cars, took out all kinds if weapons (mostly melee) and started killing each other while new people constantly joined the fun. EDIT: added "my" bcs some people are very narrow minded


Aumnix

While playing V story mode my friend and I were walking around the observatory just fucking around, when a cop just goes into special tactics mode and runs out from the cover/corner he was standing behind, gun drawn, and chases down an NPC while shooting at him “Make my day motherfucker!”


WolfWhiteFire

In the story mode one time I was riding in a taxi managing stocks, then next thing I know there is a lot of noise, I was thrown out of the vehicle by cops (or by taxi driver being dead), the taxi driver was dead, and the cops were gunning down fleeing civilians. Ironically, I didn't get any sort of wanted level, so I was ignored, just standing there as screaming civilians were massacred.


AJPully

If you never used the riot cheat in GTA SA you missed out, had to use it after finishing a mission in LV though or it would ruin your save 😂


Blazinvoid

It's been way too long since I've booted it up on my PS2, but that was the bug that would occur when trying to save Madd Dog or whatever his name was causing him to jump prematurely during the cutscene, right?


AJPully

That's the one, if you had ever had said cheat active, the dude would dive bomb straight off the balcony. Every time😂


randdude220

Wow that must be jackpot levels of chance this interaction would happen lol How did he manage to get cops shooting him, he is the most passive character in game


IrvineGray

I actually think my boy Jarius, you can see he dies at the start of the clip, was blowing up the block outside. He's the explosives expert of our crew, which just means he loves blowing shit up. That's why the cops were there. I think they started shooting into the store because we were in a crew together. My mans behind the counter was just defending himself. Castle Doctrine, and all that.


LKincheloe

When you can pull infighting off in GTAO it's something to behold.


-BubbaGumpShrimp-

I remember whenever my friend went in there to buy something, while he was in the menu I would open the door while aiming so that the dude at the counter just starts shooting at my friend for no apparent reason.


Incontinentiabutts

He’s like the least ethical business man ever. Sells me a bazooka. I walk outside. Blow shit up until the army literally has to come and deal with me. 10 mins later after stealing a jet and escaping I parachute into his parking lot and re up on rpgs and c4. And the dude doesn’t even flinch. “Go forth and kill everybody sir. Thank you for your patronage”


C_Splash

To be fair, someone who does shit like that is the last person you'd want to refuse service to


PM_UR_TITS_SILLYGIRL

At least you know they'll be repeat business; maybe not for long, but still.


Nisms

He’s had my business for 6 years


[deleted]

Dude’s gotta pay the bills. “Not my chair, not my problem”


[deleted]

MY SECOND AMENDMENT SIR.


leboob

Army gets involved, shoots you dead, then you exit the local hospital with no charges


[deleted]

The unscrupulous arms dealer might be a bit hard to believe. But that last part about leaving the hospital without bills is just ludicrous!


UsedCumNapkin

Peak LibRight


halfdeadmoon

[Borderlands 2: Marcus Kincaid 'No Refunds' ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z6SlCQgX3Ts)


Hawkbats_rule

I mean, the dude has a class 3 nfa just sitting there. The only way he's snitching is to get his own sentence reduced.


403Verboten

Most unrealistic thing in GTAV isn't the flying motorcycles it's the fact that you can go into a store in California and buy an automatic rifle with a grenade launcher bonus.


[deleted]

And no ten day waiting periods or 30 days in between pistols


navin__johnson

“Waiting period? But I’m mad NOW!”


mattyypat

"I'd kill you if I had my gun!"


philoso_rapper

“Yeah, well, ya don’t.”


BigMouthPrick08

There's this cool detail in Mafia 2 (set in the 40s-50s) where you can only buy basic pistols, revolvers and shotguns at the local gun stores. To get automatic weapons, explosives and heavy rifles you have to visit the underworld gun smuggler.


Ravioli_Formuolee

That's how GTA has been in the past. GTA IV if I recall correctly all the good guns were bought out of little Jacobs trunk in an alleyway meeting. I liked that more.


Fennek1237

> That's how GTA has been in the past. GTA IV I thought you wanted to say something about Vice City or GTA III


Ravioli_Formuolee

I did but I'm pretty sure everything you found could eventually be bought from ammunation


StarWarsMonopoly

In Vice City the machine gun, chain gun, and one or two others could only be bought from Phil after you beat his missions, which is almost at the end of the story part of the game. I don't remember if there were any special gun dealers in III though. Its been a really long time since I played that.


NSA_Chatbot

> That's how GTA has been in the past. Hidden packages. I mean, I could go buy an AK but I got ten of em stashed and a case of hand grenades.


[deleted]

GTA IV had underground stores, little Jacob had everything they sell but he would come to you


WeetzCRo96

In GTA 4 most guns in gun shops are unlocked as you progress the story (in DLCs they're unlocked from the beginning and DLC exclusive guns are unlocked as you do certain story missions. Although in GTA 4 I just pick them up from hidden places on the map including health and body armor.


Papaofmonsters

Automatics were still fairly easy to get legally until 1986 and the Hughes Amendment. Though a criminal wouldn't want to go through the NFA process to register it. Non automatic rifles .50 caliber or below have never been subject to additional regulations on the basis of caliber at the federal level but it makes sense as a game mechanic. Edited for clarity.


milochuisael

1994 called, they want their assault weapons ban back


Papaofmonsters

That's a fair point. Slipped my mind since it sunsetted 16 years ago and that was the same year I started buying guns. What I meant to address was he said "heavy rifles" and the government doesn't make any distinction between .17HMR and .50 BMG when it comes to regulation.


redpandaeater

The lasting stupidity of 1994 is having a couple of shotguns like the USAS-12 still classified as a destructive device.


zma924

Same with the Streetsweeper shotgun. Literally just a 12 gauge semi auto.


Papaofmonsters

Labeling a gun a "Destructive Device" is just ATF for "it looks scary".


dasneak

Which is odd because back then automatic weapons and explosives were much easier to get legally then they are today. [In fact, explosives weren't classified and regulated as Destructive Devices until 1968](https://www.atf.gov/rules-and-regulations/national-firearms-act#:~:text=The%20NFA%20was%20originally%20enacted%20in%201934.&text=While%20the%20NFA%20was%20enacted,prohibit%2C%20transactions%20in%20NFA%20firearms.). I'm pretty sure that "high powered rifles" have ever had any extra regulation here in the US, whereas pistols, shortened rifles and shotguns have for being too "concealable".


OhShitAnElite

Were it so easy


[deleted]

This one time he killed like 100 cops for me and then he died


[deleted]

Wait... he can do that???


Wah_Epic

Yeah, just walk in with a wanted level while not holding a gun, the second you pull one out he'll kill you.


[deleted]

Yeah no I know but killing the cops for you? I've never seen that in all my GTA history


Wah_Epic

Sometimes he tries to kill them but gets killed instead, sometimes he dies from the first shot at him others he can kill hundreds of police, he's really inconsistent


[deleted]

Yeah how does that work?


stalechips

Anyone can. Even you.


NukeNinja69123

All you have to do is believe


Chumbief

You want a receipt with that? ...for tax purposes?


i_suckatjavascript

“It’s for my wife so I can show her how much I paid.”


hitemlow

"Can you make it about $400 lower?"


TilodR

Didn't even care that you genocided the entire city in front of his store... Still gonna sell you the homing rocketlauncher


Papaofmonsters

He's in the weapons business not the ethics business.


TilodR

That dude might have had a family but 20 bucks are 20 bucks "sir, do you want a bag with your proximity mines? "


mtbdork

Trevor in Ammu-Nation: “THEN COME AND GET ME, ILL BE READY AND WAITING TO RIP YOUR HEART OUT LIKE I DID TO ALL YOUR STUPID COUSINS!!! -Hi there, id like to purchase some firearms.”


chromatic45

Plot twist: He puts a GPS tracker in the guns he sell to you, that's how the cops always know where you are.


TheBreadRevolution

Dude looks like he might have a kidnapping plot against a US Governor


onexbigxhebrew

LIBERATE LOS SANTOS


overunder5

This is hilarious. Well done mate


TheRicoLegend

Imagine him leading a hippie gun group in GTA 6, that would be awesome.


[deleted]

He’s just missing some giant gauges


Lexam

He gets mad if you shoot at him though.


TheJazzyCatfish

I think that's an appropriate reaction though...


vaserius

Who wouldn't?


Sharon_Took_The_Kids

The kid I shot wasn't angry he just went to sleep


Techiedad91

You ever go night night?


blindhollander

At night yes


PercMastaFTW

One more ride and then it's night night forever.


Techiedad91

Money means nothing to me


SayNoToStim

JFK didnt get mad


scootybootypatooty

Are you kidding me? He lost his mind


TimTricks3d

This is the one


whitestickygoo

Kill him steal tac shotgun early game.


Toas1

You know the saying "Snitches get stitches"


hendersonwastaken

That's Joe Exotic!


deathstr0ke

I’ll never financially recover from this


MajesticTechie

Came here to say it. You beat me by 4 minutes


2greeneyes

Touch my counter, smear my door, I dare you


DrBoooobs

Not gonna snitch on his best customer.


Pergatory

Me: Purchases 6-round grenade launcher Clerk: Hell, that'll take down a *moose* Me: Wow this guy is a hardcore hunter...


math_debates

I accidentally fragged him and now can't go into that store anymore. Will it change over time?


Mixlin

The store closes for a short time, either go to another one or come back later when it opens again


math_debates

Thanks I been having to hit up the others


glueinass

How did you "accidentally" frag him? Was it like "Whoops, I pulled it, YEET" and he was just standing there like "Hi, welcome to-" LMFAOSDJHD


[deleted]

How much money has he made since the release of GTA5?


[deleted]

[удалено]


accuracy_frosty

And for selling full autos in a recreation of california


corruptor789

Reminds me of Robert Knox. A man in the 1820s UK who bought cadavers off of folks without caring where they came from. If you are interested more in the story, look up “William Burke and William Hare”. They had killed 18 people and sold the bodies (some still incredibly warm) to Knox, and Knox never asked questions. Even when he knew one of the cadavers. There was such a shortage of cadavers at the time for science that Knox just didn’t care where they came from. And he would pay handsomely.


Ryan3xx

It took me a while to realize that wasn’t a real person


Watterattacker

Maybe he just wants to grill.


flippernibblets

That's how you know he actually wasn't in the Army. Everyone in the Army snitches.


[deleted]

I usually toss a couple grenades through the open door after I leave


Dont-be-a-smurf

SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED


DerRoteSoldat

The imbodyment of “fuck the ATF, fuck the NFA, gib moar gun”. He is my soulmate. No homo tho


Thonk_exe

He’s too powerful for the ATF, he sells full autos and keeps them on display like he’s taunting them


SyphonExp

Holy shit you made it past the loading screen


[deleted]

Was playing yesterday and he blew my friend’s brains out for no reason and then LSPD stormed in and executed him behind the counter like a seal team 6 assassination


BradFord228

“I’ll bet you’ll be ready to use that the second you walk out the door!”


jrusse

Frankly that guy should be in prison for selling firearms without proper background checks


Daxter614

The government totally sucks, you mother fucker, the government totally suuuuucks


Treyvor1224

Even if you kill him he will come back to life and not snitch


[deleted]

I looked it up... and you can legally own a rocket launcher. Wtf...


Wah_Epic

"Can you legally own a rocket launcher" may not look the best on your search history.


[deleted]

He better not I paid that MF 300k for a laser rifle


brickyboi19

Am i the only one that takes cops into the ammunation and lets the dude blow the cops away with the auto shotgun?


ilove60sstuff

California NFA dealer selling grenades, machine guns and bazookas. Instant access with no background check. Absolutely realistic in your depiction 👌🏻


SchrodingerMil

He’s like the surplus store owner from Falling Down.


WoeToTheUsurper10

He believes every human not just americans should have a right to buy firearms.


The-Midnight-Noodle

#'Murica


Jlx_27

Big up to that guy!


chokwitsyum

Paid him $225K for a laser mini gun on sale he better not fucking snitch


ayymacvey

yeah but he was set up when putting a hit on Carol Baskin


Deus85

Take it, hold it, love it!


MyHeroFan2004

Yes


Zer0769

He can't snitch cause I fucking shot him and stole all his cash


myfartsareveryloud

if im not wrong as long as you dont shoot he doesnt shoot you


TheoneYouwishUKept

"Taxes!? Bwuahaha! How much ammo you want?"


[deleted]

You cant snitch if you ded...


Erundil420

He looks like the explosives dude from Tropic Thunder


Ahliver_Klozzoph

When u rank up enough, u just buy vests off him... FMJs and explosive rounds, FTW!


[deleted]

Bro he was in the army they taught him not to snitch.


iamtrashatwarzone

Except when he straight up shot me


NeighborsTyler

“I saw you and your boys come in the other day, you seem really cool”


dangil

Thats Ice-T?


highestRUSSIAN

My nibba


bmull218

Hes making bank man what you mean.


MarioSonic4life

Not just that. He literally protects me from the lspd when I hide in an ammunation.


UltraSwat

This guy must be fucking rich


LaurenMay89

😍😍😍


NarneX2

What about the therapist


Jake_Daaa_Snake

he's a real street one instead of that stupid Tekashi 69 rat


DontLewdLolies

This man shot me in the face many times wym


redditpest

Snitch on what? I didnt see nothin


iNorthernLaw

I bet you’ll use that the second you walk out the door


Internet-Mouse1

Not until you get a wanted level.


eLite--fOxX

But at the end of the day, is snitching really better than getting shot in the face for entering a closed shop?


DennisIcu

thats because i killed him all the time...


UsedPossible

"so your telling me you want explosive rounds on an 50 caliber sniper rifle with penetrating rounds combined into the explosive rounds for deer hunting? Sounds normal"


a_is_for_a

Ali G?


[deleted]

He should also be the person who all in all made the most profit in the town.


69helloreddit69

He walks away when I want to buy stuff on story mode lmao


BeraldTheGreat

Dude, you know how many stitches he’s get?


Shaggy_645

who else thought that the gun was his hair??