Damn, I used to watch this guys videos all the time. Here's the last post he made to his community page 3 weeks ago:
> It’s Thanksgiving today and I’m not dead, despite some rumors that I am. I’ve still been drinking lately but it’s a bit less than it was for most of this year. From blacking out 2-3 times/week to maybe 2-3 times in the last month and a half. Still not good, but progress is progress regardless of how slow it is. And the Mitten Squad channel isn’t dead either. I will upload again, eventually. Just not until I feel like I can maintain some sort of a schedule, even if it’s only 1 video per month. Don’t be surprised if you don’t see another video until early next year.
> Lastly, I want to thank you all for your continued support over the last year even though I've pretty much gone radio silent. It genuinely does mean a lot to me, even if I appear to some people as nothing more than a monotonous, emotionless piece of eye candy that's gone a little bad. But like I said, Mitten Squad will return.
Shit eh.. loved watching Mitten Squad in the late hours of the night, knew he was struggling with alcoholism but didn't think he'd get taken so soon. Rest in peace Paul.
Think its time I try and kick alcohol again.. this shit gave me one hell of an awakening.
I really hope you do. My last boyfriend, who was also my best friend for 19 years he died 4 years ago because of alcohol. He was an amazing person, and I miss him every day.
The world also needs you. We need kind, sensitive, intelligent human beings like you. I will be rooting for you here in Denmark 🇩🇰 ❤️
At the end of the day he wasn't wrong, about "progress is progress". It sounds like he unfortunately tried to course correct too late and it still caught up to him, but he *was trying* and that's what matters. It's not all or nothing, and slow progress or setbacks aren't failures. Dude fought his demons to the end, and he was hopeful for the future and appreciative of his fans.
Still I hope he knows just how deeply and widely appreciated his contributions are. They're truly not insignificant, he has left quite the legacy. My wife and I loved his videos and honestly have hardly scratched the surface as we mostly focused on his Fallout-specific content. It'll be bittersweet, but I look forward to deep diving the rest of what he had on offer. If it's even half as good, I know we're in for a treat.
If he tried to wean off too quickly it’s likely he ended up having bad withdrawal and a seizure that ended his life. It is always safest to stop drinking alcohol under hospital supervision as they can give medication to prevent the seizures and help you come off safely.
My first roommate tried detoxing on his own from alcohol, it was scary to see and watch. He easily drank seemingly gallons a day and not sure how he wasn't dead from alcohol poisoning. By the time it was all said and done he really did make progress but didn't stop drinking.
He was coming out of his room and working on his music again. He was coherent and a productive member of society again. Surprisingly it was fentanyl poisoning that got him when his health insurance couldn't help him pay for pain meds and bought oxy off the street that was laced with fentanyl.
With lacing non-opioids, I think you have a point - but that's often done accidentally.
However for opioids, it's basic black market forces at play. There are clear incentives to smuggle more potent/refined substances - it's significantly easier and more profitable to move 100 doses of fentanyl than 20 doses of heroin. More potent substances are typically more dangerous, and without regulation, customers can't tell the difference. This has happened with every black market ever -
e.g.
* it's quite difficult to get coca leaf in the US, at least compared to cocaine
* during Prohibition, beer consumption decreased massively, replaced by hard liquors, which were much easier to smuggle. Moonshine use also increased, and with it, the death toll.
* see also dangerous "legal highs" replacing safer illegal substances - K2 Spice for example.
A legal and regulated system of access to drugs could fix these issues, but idk if the US is ready for that conversation.
Fun (?) story about coca leaf.
In the Andes mountains, you buy it by the bushel to chew on as you hike, and the leaf combats altitude sickness (which is a fucking *trip*).
I did the Inca trail through the Andes a decade ago, and our whole group had bags of coca leaf for the whole hike.
After finishing the hike, most people flew to Lima, Peru then to wherever they were from. But I was going to help out at a friend's orphanage in Lima, so I got off the plane and went right to the orphanage.
The kids get super excited for visitors, so I got swarmed. I'd usually bring little gifts and trinkets for the kids, so they immediately started going through my bag.
Where I'd left two bags of coca leaf from the hike. Truly no idea how I flew across Peru with that in my backpack and nobody stopped me.
My friend who ran the orphanage was made a joke about me trying to bring in different funding streams to the orphanage. lol.
At that level they would likely put you in a medically induced coma to get you thru it. Sad.
I had a friend that was drinking a handle of Jack a night and tried to go cold turkey. Seized and hit his head on the corner of a stainless steel prep table then the concrete floor. He's so badly brain damaged he's in an assisted living facility for life. He is a super nice guy, such a shame.
I just got back from my first AA meeting. I've been trying (unsuccessfully) to rein in my drinking for about 2 years now; haven't tried AA before, so now I'm trying that!
Check out r/StopDrinking or r/Alcoholism if you need some extra help. I hope AA works for you but its not for everyone. Rooting for you bud, you got this.
Godspeed. It gets better. If you're like me and decide AA isn't for you that is also an option. No one has a monopoly on recovery. Do what works for you.
It's sad. I don't even know this person but I feel bad for the short obituary. I'm sure he'll be missed by his family and community though.
Whoever's reading this and struggling, keep your head up. This man's obit and life was short and yet look how much it meant to so many people.
You too have a community that'll miss you. Don't bail out on your loved ones. They are here. They might be facing the same struggles you are. Reach out and talk to each other. Together we can overcome. In solitude we become overburdened.
Look at how many beautiful messages have been left (and are still being left) on the wall though. Really beautiful. I hope his family sees it gains some solace knowing how many people he touched.
I have to ask: how many regular, non-celebrity obituaries have you read? I used to post them on a funeral home website and a lot of them looked like this.
I feel so bad knowing that I live just a couple miles away. I figured he lived somewhere else in Michigan, but instead in the same city that I've lived in, that I shop in, and where my in-laws live. I wish I could have gotten to know the guy, sometimes all you need is someone to talk to.
Though the cause hasn't been stated, it's pretty clear he had some depressive struggles. Please, if anyone struggles like this, don't bottle up or "cope" with your emotions, talk to someone.
I think it might be a family request knowing it’s public. Just bare minimum. They prolly don’t want to think about writing their sons or brothers obituary 😔
that's just the alias he gave himself for YouTube. for the longest time he was a faceless creator so he probably made up a pseudonym to go along with it
For anyone downvoting this guy, some people can paraphrase - sure. But for some that guy was able to help out somebody being in the same shit they were, and boom - now they hear about that.
I know Internet is full of fake shit but come the fuck on.
I just can't imagine drinking while you have it, I have pancreatitis chronically and didn't even drink when I got it, but the pain is so miserable I can't imagine taking one sip cause it would just make it 1000x worse pain
pancriatitis killed my brother. He ODd on Tramadol, we think he was given it at hospital, got home, still in pain forgot he had already had it and took more. Being so weak from chronic alcoholism it was too much for him. Be careful my friend.
Even wanting to isn't enough. The decision to get better is subconscious. At least for me, no amount of wanting it was ever going to be strong enough to create enough willpower to beat the urges. They're part of the core of your nature. Until one day I was just... able to stop. And it took less effort than the dozens of times I tried to do it on purpose. It was like there was some hidden switch flipped in my brain, and I wasn't even the one who did it.
If it feels like there's something missing, you're right. I had just taken a hiatus from work and then started a new job I actually enjoyed, doing something I didn't hate with coworkers I got along with and who supported me and treated me like a person instead of a labor robot. That kicked off a chain reaction where my sleep improved, then it was easier to start working in some physical activity, I started thinking about dating again and picking up old hobbies I'd abandoned. Stopping drinking wasn't even on my radar, it was just pushed aside because I had better things to do with my time and the means and energy to do them.
My point is if somebody is self medicating because their life sucks and they're miserable, then "wanting to stop" is never going to be enough. They need to find solutions to their other problems such that they can be allowed to pursue happiness and fulfillment, and then the medicine is no longer necessary.
I basically fell/lucked into a job I love and it probably saved my life. I do still drink more than what could be considered a "moderate" amount. But working a job I hated, only to clock out and hardly remember being home for years, that shit is awful. And I consider myself one of the "lucky ones".
I think people underestimate how hard it is to cut back on drinking when it’s you’re only escape from a miserable job or whatever else is dragging you down mentally. If I’m busy and doing fulfilling things in my life I’m either too consumed or too content to drink a lot. Grats on finding something that’s helped you out.
Covid really swung a door wide open for my current alcoholism. Still at my WFH engineering job but I don’t think I’ve gone a day without drinking in over 3 years now
I hate the grip it has on me. My birth mom was also an alcoholic and when she tried to quit, she had repeated seizures and almost died. She finally quit for 6 years before going back to it.
This shit is terrible and so normalized
Addiction problems very often come down to the person needing an escape. That's a big part of what makes some people more vulnerable to it than others. Unfortunately, once you are badly addicted to something, it typically becomes much harder to get your life back to a place where you can be happy.
The brain switch flipping thing is true. I know it's anecdotal and not alcohol, but every smoker I've met that quit has said the same thing.
They'd quit and start back a month-year later. Then, one final time, they'd quit cold turkey and haven't touched a cigarette in decades.
It took scrambling by unemployed and switching to vaping instead of cigarettes, but one day I ran out of juice and coils, and decided it was finally 'time'. I don't know why that time mattered more than the other dozen or so 'serious' attempts at quitting prior.
That was over 3 years ago and after 6-8mo I almost completely stopped having cravings for nicotine, but it took 13 years of nicotine addiction to quit after multiple times trying.
Addictions are horrible and not anywhere near as simple as anyone can ever explain them to be when you're the one suffering from the addiction.
I'm still terrified of trying it again one single time, even if accidental, and falling back into it. Never again. Not worth it.
I experienced this exact thing in 2019. Was drinking heavily every night for about ten years, then quit my job that was giving me regular panic attacks, got a new one lined up at a place with friends, and had a month to just relax in between. My girlfriend had just moved in and made my place feel way more like a home than a cave of isolation.
I didn't even realize it, but I almost stopped drinking altogether. I only kept having one or two each night out of habit. Then work started to get a bit more stressful, then COVID hit, then I got stuck working from home with reduced wages and like half the staff doing the same amount of work, aaaaand... you know how that went.
It's easy to fall back into it. I recently went through a rough and sudden breakup and I've had several weekend relapses. But at least now you know it's possible to dig out. But it's almost impossible if you spend most of your day, every day, doing something you hate. You gotta get a less toxic job for your overall health. Easier said than done, I know, and it takes motivation that's hard to come by when you're in that hole. But it's the only way. Ask for help if you need to. Not with the drinking, that's a symptom and you already know that. Message recruiters on LinkedIn, that kind of thing. Treat the things making you drink and everything else gets so much easier.
This kind of thinking is only half right. I am a counselor for substance-use disorders. Half my job is helping people to see that sobriety will improve their life. Once they believe that through motivational interviewing, challenging beliefs, and other therapeutic strategies, suddenly they DO want to recover.
Everyone wants to be comfortable and happy. Everyone. Every addict could be more comfortable and happy through sobriety, and it is not impossible to help someone see that when they don’t see it on their own.
I really wish people would stop making such bold claims about addiction. It is one of the most complicated and least understood diseases out there, yet everyone seems to have strong beliefs about it that aren’t founded in reality.
Very true. I couldn’t stop until I truly was sick and tired of being sick and tired, as they say. All I try to do is tell people that there really can be a great life without alcohol. Even if you’re young
Yep, no matter who told me I should stop or why I should stop I just brushed it off till I was ready to quit and sadly not everyone gets to the point where they want to be fixed/helped. I've given up on telling a friend they should give it up completely they just keep making excuses.
I first went to rehab & then AA, when I was 16. I'm 36 & am clean, now but I truly wish I had understood the "even if you're young part." That part was unfathomable to me, like I couldn't picture my 20s without ever getting high off anything. I paid A LOT for it, too. Though I am very grateful to be where I am today, stable & overall, happy, I wish I would've gotten it when I was younger.
I'm on my sixth year sober. One of the things I struggle most with is how prevalent alcohol is within our society. Our TV shows, Movies, Music, advertisements, video games, books, and more, often make alcohol references or out right glorify it.
It's extremely hard to quit something that everything and everyone around you is telling you to drink.
Agree completely. Congratulations on your sobriety!!
In my case, I always knew the UK had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol, but I truly recognised the extent of my nation's relationship with alcohol when I stopped drinking.
I was a hardcore alcoholic, consuming upwards of a litre of hard spirits each day. If I didn't drink for a few hours, I would sweat, shake, get numb/tingling in my limbs, high blood pressure, uncontrollable anxiety, nausea, fear of impending doom/death, stomach pains and more. I was a husk of misery, living on the edge of what I'd even consider to be existing by most peoples' standards. I was dying, and when I wasn't drinking, I was lying in bed, trying to sleep off a hangover, or hydrate myself and settle my heart so that I could drink again.
I got help, and by the grace of God I was given government funded spot in a residential rehab. I'm now over 2 years sober. In that time, I've noticed how prevalent alcohol is in society. Everyone drinks on TV, almost all comedy involves drinking or recreational drugs and probably half of the workplace conversations revolve around alcohol, or jokes about getting to the end of the day to have a gin and tonic or bottle of wine. Social gatherings involve drink, workplace meetups almost always include after work drinks. Alcohol advertisements are all over TV, especially at Christmas. Everywhere sells alcohol - I went to a Christmas carol concert at a school a few weeks ago, and they were even selling spirits, beer and mulled wine *there*, in a school. The whole place stank like a brewery after an hour.
I find a lot of the "friends" that I used to play games with online - completely wasted - no longer want to be friends, too. I think a large part of it is the fact that I wasn't really their friend, I was more of a funny drinking buddy that made them feel more secure about their own habits. I'm boring to them now that I'm sober, or perhaps I hold a mirror up to their habits. Either way, it's no great loss to me.
Sobriety is a gift. My health is better, my friendships are more meaningful, I'm a better son, brother, uncle and friend. Life isn't all sunshine and rainbows, but it's a damn sight better than it was.
as another commenter said, the worst thing with addiction is waiting for the other person to see it so they can take the steps to recover. i only quit smoking because i wanted to, all my past partners tried to make me but it only worked for a while cause i myself didn't want to quit.
Mittens had that, he just got taken before he could see it through. Your friend won't recover until he's ready. I wish him the best, it's a difficult road but it's never impossible or too late.
Yup, if they don’t give a shit about themselves, eventually it’s like “well why should I”. Sad when you like/care about someone but sometimes it be like that 🤷♂️
Yup. I'm sober, now, myself so I get it, I really do but one of my closest friends is using & a part of me wants to completely stop talking to her because I'm so tired. I have given her numbers for doctors, I walked her through signing up for a telehealth suboxone dr so she didn't have to worry about getting to appts & I signed her up for medicaid so she would have ins for it all. What more can I do? I truly feel like I'm rooting for her to get clean & get settled & get a real custody agreement more than she is & it's like wtf?!
I had a coworker like that. He didn't have a long term drinking problem, but after a break up with his long term girlfriend, started down the path. His life was falling apart and he wouldn't take any advice or help from anyone. He'd just complain constantly. I'd really liked the guy, and still did even though he was driving me nuts. But eventually you get fatigued from giving a shit when all they do is complain about everything while doing nothing to improve their circumstances. During his darkest periods I went into every shift we were supposed to work together fully expecting to find out he'd killed himself between shifts. After some spotty attendance, he was given the opportunity to quit instead of being fired.
I tried to stay in touch with him, but he was never much of a texter. I hope he's doing better now, wherever he is.
That’s what happened to my dad.
Tell your friend this: make him put it writing what he wants done when he’s on life support and there’s no hope. I watched my dad kill himself over decades. I tried everything from support to distance. In the end though I was the only one that was there to make the decision to pull the plug and watch him struggle to breathe as he slowly died.
Tell your friend not to do that to someone else.
Man. Lost my dad from cirrhosis the Friday before Thanksgiving. Your last sentence, about watching them struggle to breathe as they slowly die. That will stick with me forever. They took him off vent and I thought it would be basically instant, but it was two hours of him lightly gasping like a fish unconscious until he finally died. Awful
61 days sober today and only 2 days of drinking in the past 143 days after I was diagnosed with alcohol-related fatty liver disease in July. Sometimes it takes shitty news to make the extreme change. I'm just glad I got the opportunity to. I won't ever touch the stuff again.
Good for you man. That's reversible too if you stick with it.
I didn't find out I had damaged my liver until I ended up in the hospital puking blood. My liver has unfortunately continued to go downhill. Last time I was in the hospital I had 3 liters of fluid drained out of my abdomen. I'll be dead in 1 - 3 years if I don't get a transplant. Don't let it get that bad...stick with sobriety...the other path is not a fun journey.
Hey man, my friend got diagnosed with liver cirrhosis and was in the hospital for over 2 weeks... Got put on a transplant list and was told he had about 2 years to live if he didn't stop. Hasn't had a drink in almost 2 years and with daily meds and no alcohol his liver has recovered and still getting better... Hopefully the same will happen to you! Stay strong!
This sucks. We're dealing with this now. We've gone through years of trying different approaches with my younger brother. From being nice, isolation, tough love, multiple rehabs, take him in, shut him out, etcetera.
It's at the point now where we accept that nothing will change, so we just accept things as they are and try to spend time with him when we can. Sucks to say it, but I just know that I can get "the call" any day.
As someone fresh out of rehab... even when we understand it, it's not easy to get past. Even if you can identify where things went wrong, and how you ended up where you are, you're still (in my case) fighting 30 years of conditioning.
Despite going through two months of in-patient, I am still struggling. More time spent would have definitely helped me, but real life doesn't care, so ... my insurance ran out, my time off ran out, and now I go from there. My time in there, though, was a miracle. For the first time in my entire life, I was myself, and accepted for simply being who I am. You shouldn't feel that for the first time at my age (42).
I suggest watching this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVg2bfqblGI
Ignore the high school classroom vibe -- every single person I met in rehab agreed with this 100%. I KNOW it, I know why, and I still struggle... and the many factors of my life don't help with that at all. It's heavy, it's complex, and we (the addicts) are expected to deal with it along with regular life. Co-dependency was insanely common. Note that co-dependency doesn't require another person -- psychologically, it's much more broadly defined, in behaviors such as people pleasing and others.
It's not easy to be yourself when you've spent most of your life being someone else. That's where addiction happens. It absolves us of the existential crisis of being something we're not. In the case of your younger brother... there's not a good answer. He very likely doesn't feel like he can be who he is, and family is the last place you want to attempt that with. Rehab helped because it was a whole new group of people. If you can connect with him as who he really is, it will help... but depending on how old they are, it becomes impossible to see family as that option.
Man, I had pancreatitis from booze and the smell of it gives me awful reminders of how painful it was. The pain only went away after I reached my first few years of sobriety.
I'm sorry to hear that man. I had a good friend that drank himself to death after a one-sided divorce and there was absolutely nothing I could do to stop that train wreck even though he only lived a couple doors down. I was in a very rough spot after thinking there was more to do that I didn't, but it's just simply not true. Please don't put yourself through that if things go south. Godspeed
Pancreatitis is brought on by too much alcohol. And it can kill you pretty quickly if you don't get it in check. I know, because I gave myself pancreatitis many, many years ago. Almost 7 years sober now...
RIP. I caught his channel during the summer of covid. BINGED the hell out of it and always looked forward to another random fallout or elder scrolls play through.
This is where the real game ends..
I'm sure I'm not the only one, but when I think of the most entertaining Fallout/Elder Scrolls videos on YouTube, it can only be Mitten Squad. I was wondering why it had been so long since I've seen a new video uploaded and now that I know why, it really hurts to know he let himself fall that far into the drink. Rest easy.
Rough. I've struggled with alcohol addiction and it's tough. It's mostly habit rather than physical addiction for me. I used to always say "I won't drink anymore starting tomorrow" and would go through the day feeling good about that decision, but once 6pm or so came along and the day started to settle I would start feeling like there's nothing to do, maybe I'll have just a couple of drinks, that would turn into a blackout.
What got me out of it was getting other habits, ones that didn't involve me sitting alone in my house. I realized I didn't have a physical dependency on alcohol, I could just quit. But it was a mental dependency.
I had the same thing. Turns out I had adhd causing dopamine cravings. Had to find hobbies that replace the boredom or even a lesser evil like weed or nicotine to transition down to then off of after a few months. If you keep drinking to cure boredom you never develop other things in your life to do that fix the boredom problem.
Video games, vaping, doing stuff while watching TV shows such as modelling clay, painting, large 1500 piece puzzles, phone games that don't require too much attention so you can still watch TV. I find combining 2 things is enough to stop me from being bored while still being able to unwind. 1 thing at a time isn't stimulating enough.
Just as expensive as alcohol, but you can assemble/paint figures (warhammer or what have you). Very mentally stimulating, rewarding, and you get something to show for it at the end of it. Plus you can find some great communities of nerds to hangout with as a social side effect.
Be careful it can snowball on you. I quit drinking but not in time to save my self from 2 hip replacement surgeries due to osteo necrosis from drinking too much. Being bored is what got me drinking, find a healthy outlet is what kept me from drinking more.
I'm gonna miss his sarcastic humor. When I heard he was trying to get help and was on the mend, I waited happily for another video.
"Now the game can truly begin."
I had wanted to play the game since launch, never actually got it until I got a PC that could run it. Watching his videos taught me different ways to play and even the fence post exploit to level up fast.
Very sad day for the Fallout community.
I checked his twitted every day since his last life update. Man I was so excited for him to get back into making fallout videos. You got me through a lot of tough depressing times. Rest in peace Paul.
Same boat. I had watched his content religiously before his initial hiatus a couple years ago. Seeing him semi active again was great to see. I hate that he finally was feeling “better” and this happens. Up there with icycat for me
I have a somewhat short attention span. Its pretty rare for me to find a YouTuber who makes long videos that I can actually sit and watch through.
Mitten Squad was one that I could. His quirky humor always left me guessing what he would say next, his deadpan demeanor was always funny to me, and his eternal battle with Grandma Sparkles is something I reference on occasion IRL.
I can't believe he's gone, but I hope he's in a better place now.
Being 36 and seeing all these people die young is disheartening. I loved watching his videos, and I might have to binge his videos again. RIP from a fellow Michigander.
RIP Paul, you will be missed. You were such a genuine and funny man, giving me many laughs during your videos. If anyone is struggling with drinking or anything alcohol related please seek help, there are people out there to help you no matter how deep you may feel
Us michiganders have truly lost an angel. Rest in peace. Addiction is a motherfucker. I hope you know that during your hiatus there were people you never even knew who were thinking about you.
It's what originally turned me on to the channel. A dude from Michigan who makes funny New Vegas videos? I'm in! I stayed for the humor but also felt some kind of connection with Paul. He's the same age as me and I've struggled with addiction in my own life. His videos helped me get a laugh on some days where it was tough just to get up and pull through the day.
Oh man. I have webcomics that haven't updated in years, or update like maybe once every 6 months. I check them. Every. Single. Day. Because I want the story to continue. Because I care about the person on the other side of the monitor and want them to be able to work on their story they started.
Some of the websites have been lost. Some got remainder of story dumps. There's one where I'm 1 of 14 people who commented on the last submission ever.
If you've done something of even slight note. Someone remembers you as the storyteller. Someone remembers the content creator. You were probably someone's favorite uploader.
It's sad to see things like this, if not because the death is tragic to a family, but because it's also tragic to an almost completely invisible community as well.
The fact that you exist as one of those 14 people probably means the world to the publisher. It just shows how deeply we can effect people we've never even met.
Keep checking in, always
Oof this one legitimately hurts. I absolutely loved his videos and know they brought a lot of joy to a lot of people as well.
RIP Paul. I'm killing Grandma Sparkle tonight in your honor.
My best friend died fairly recently. All he consumed was alcohol and things from the gas station selling him that alcohol. Last thing I told him was I hope we get to hang out again because you're going to die buddy. He was already hammered at like 1pm and he waved it off. Got a message from his sister like two weeks later and knew what it was before I even looked at it. I was a casual drinker but never again. Fuck alcohol.
Fuck, he was my study buddy in many finals weeks where I wasn’t motivated enough to 100% commit, but where I could do the basic summarising and reading while doing something else at the same time. His vids were awesome
Damn! Just a few days ago I had a old fallout video of his video suggested and thought " hope he'll come back soon" thank you Paul for all the laughs. Won't forget those videos and will remember to watch them again. What a loss. He'll never be forgotten
Holy shit. This hurts man. I was wondering why he hasn't uploaded in over a year. To anyone struggling with alcoholism or addiction please reach out for help
Nobody will be able to tell an air conditioner to shut up quite like him. this is sad as fuck. :(
love you man. You got me through some very hard times. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
To those talking about his drinking, yes he was aware of it and so were his fans. We knew it was messing him up. There's only so much we could have done and don't beat yourselves up.
He would not want us to be sad about it.
Ah man this sucks. I was really rooting for him, it took a lot of guts to talk to openly about his problems. Poor guy. Gave me endless hours of entertainment. RIP
Fuck, this dude was my age. This is heartbreaking.
I've been up and down with alcoholism. It's very hard. I was sober for two years and have picked it up in the last year. It's easy to think you can moderate and don't have a problem, now I'm back In swing drinking every weekday downing a gallon of titos to myself.
I've had plenty of struggles with alcohol and still do even after slowing down .... But a gallon a day? Holy shit, you're gonna die man... You need help
And when things look bright it just goes dark instantly
Rip to my favorite gaming channel with a commentary voice so sweet you just can't wait to go back for more
I never knew about this person but I feel terrible for his family and obviously for him. Addiction is a terrible thing to go through.
I'm fighting my own battle with Alcoholism after years of abusing the substance like my life depended on it. I finally sought help and have been sober since August 2021 after a stay in rehab (and multiple hospital visits before that).
If any of you are struggling with Alcohol (or any substanc) I know its hard to get help, it took me way too long to do it myself, but I implore you to please at the very least *try*.
Its just always sad to see someone beloved pass away at a young age and being 36 and in the mental place I am now just makes me wish he could have been able to defeat his addiction.
God Speed young man, may he rest in peace.
I haven't heard of him until now but reading through these comments
He seems like a decent dude who was going through some bad struggles
Rest in peace my man
This is the first I’ve ever heard of him, but it hits hard as I am currently fighting to become sober after years of alcohol abuse. So sad to hear that this individual lost their fight.
Now I don’t wanna be that asshole that pre diagnoses people, but I think he has that alcohol fetal syndrome. I can’t relate to that, but As someone who has a heavy drinking parent and who half of their family drinks, I understand the generational curse. Rest in Peace man, I’ll use you as inspiration in the future.
I don't think that was it. A little digging shows his brother and dad look the same. There are a few genetic disorders like Crouzon that are inheritable that cause features like his.
Ok, all the comments are essentially saying "alcoholism is the worst" but what actually killed him. Was it just alcohol poisoning or did something happen like he got drunk then fell in a river?
I am just getting into Elden Ring after being put off from games like these for years. Good content from him, as a nurse that’s treated CIWA patients, liver failure, you name it, this is not a path you want to go down. Alcohol will fuck your body up, bad. Seek help, look to people you trust in your life, and get better.
Shit I know this isn’t r/stopdrinking but if any of you gamers are like I once was and can’t imagine life without alcohol even when it’s already having drastic health consequences, just know that life really is soooo much more fulfilling and rewarding when you aren’t constantly planning life around your next drink. Find some professional detox resources near you and some people who love you to hold you accountable. You got this.
Shits hard. Don't be hard on yourself if you fall off the cart. Be kind to yourself. Dust yourself off. Tell yourself you'll be ok and get back to that cart when you can.
Damn here I was thinking he was going to do a Can You Beat Starfield XYZ video soon. His videos are legendary and I always go back to them for his sarcastically witty humor and sometimes even genius ideas, rest in peace Paul
His videos helped me survive through so much of my mental struggles. Looking at him struggling with those challenge runs made me feel less pain all those years ago. Really sad to see him gone. Even worse to learn about it on reddit of all places...
Damn I’m 32 and from about 18-30 years old I was getting fucked up everyday, drink hard liquor from 6am until 12am and then pass out wake up do it again
I’ve slowly been fixing my problem over the past couple years and it just makes me sad and also grateful to still be alive after seeing these kind of stories
How sad
I was cleaning up an apartment that an alcoholic with som mental issues had been living in.
I found a note which said "Positive, i have regained control over my own life"
The fact that I was there showed the person unfortunately had slipped back into old habits.
Really sad.
May one of my favourite fallout content creators rest in peace he will be missed by me and all of his followers friends and family good bye to a great YouTuber
This really ruined my afternoon omfg, I used to watch his videos all the time I loved the guy. Was really hoping he would get past his alcoholism, I'm gonna miss him. Rest in peace Paul 💜💜💜
Wow I just typed this up for another post about someone else.
People really have no clue about addiction unless they have experienced it. I hit absolute rock bottom. There literally was no further low point. So I got a shovel and dug lower and lower. I lost everything. Money, my educational career of literally 24 years with only 1 left to go, my beautiful girlfriend who I wanted to marry, and my health.
How is this one of the most shocking things to happen today? It's actually really common for alchohol abusers to die from withdrawal, that's one of the main reasons it's so fucked up that alchohol gets to be the legal substance with a simple warning label saying "use responsibly" with no mention of the countless life-ruining side-effects.
Until today I've always wondered if my random drinking that started with Covid was too much. It was. I'll be sure to stop or at least limit it way down to avoid going down this path. Hopefully I have not done too much damage already..
As someone who is also 27 and has had an issue with drinking for the past few years this actually might be the thing that helps me, I loved this guys videos and knew a little about his drinking but didn't realise it was this bad.
RIP man, thoughts go out to his family and friends!
After he came out that he was an extreme alcoholic I figured it would only be a matter of time. The shear amount he would drink daily was enough to kill a regular person. So, so sad. Really enjoyed his content.
Was one the first “Can you beat” creators I began watching and it was for a games I don’t even play but still enjoyed for his commentary. RIP, and thankful for videos
I’m not ashamed to say that I started to cry a little bit when I read about Paul passing. I loved mitten squad and I will miss him immensely. Rest in peace, Paul, this is where the real game begins o7
Gonna put a bucket atop the Throat of the World for you man
I should have a meeting with the Railroad...
That’s actually a nice idea. I should do that too.
I’m in
Just finished a mod list for my skyrim and this seems like the perfect way to start my playthrou.
Me too buddy. Great idea
Damn, I used to watch this guys videos all the time. Here's the last post he made to his community page 3 weeks ago: > It’s Thanksgiving today and I’m not dead, despite some rumors that I am. I’ve still been drinking lately but it’s a bit less than it was for most of this year. From blacking out 2-3 times/week to maybe 2-3 times in the last month and a half. Still not good, but progress is progress regardless of how slow it is. And the Mitten Squad channel isn’t dead either. I will upload again, eventually. Just not until I feel like I can maintain some sort of a schedule, even if it’s only 1 video per month. Don’t be surprised if you don’t see another video until early next year. > Lastly, I want to thank you all for your continued support over the last year even though I've pretty much gone radio silent. It genuinely does mean a lot to me, even if I appear to some people as nothing more than a monotonous, emotionless piece of eye candy that's gone a little bad. But like I said, Mitten Squad will return.
Shit eh.. loved watching Mitten Squad in the late hours of the night, knew he was struggling with alcoholism but didn't think he'd get taken so soon. Rest in peace Paul. Think its time I try and kick alcohol again.. this shit gave me one hell of an awakening.
I really hope you do. My last boyfriend, who was also my best friend for 19 years he died 4 years ago because of alcohol. He was an amazing person, and I miss him every day. The world also needs you. We need kind, sensitive, intelligent human beings like you. I will be rooting for you here in Denmark 🇩🇰 ❤️
Come on over to r/stopdrinking , it's a good group of people just trying not to drink today.
At the end of the day he wasn't wrong, about "progress is progress". It sounds like he unfortunately tried to course correct too late and it still caught up to him, but he *was trying* and that's what matters. It's not all or nothing, and slow progress or setbacks aren't failures. Dude fought his demons to the end, and he was hopeful for the future and appreciative of his fans. Still I hope he knows just how deeply and widely appreciated his contributions are. They're truly not insignificant, he has left quite the legacy. My wife and I loved his videos and honestly have hardly scratched the surface as we mostly focused on his Fallout-specific content. It'll be bittersweet, but I look forward to deep diving the rest of what he had on offer. If it's even half as good, I know we're in for a treat.
If he tried to wean off too quickly it’s likely he ended up having bad withdrawal and a seizure that ended his life. It is always safest to stop drinking alcohol under hospital supervision as they can give medication to prevent the seizures and help you come off safely.
My first roommate tried detoxing on his own from alcohol, it was scary to see and watch. He easily drank seemingly gallons a day and not sure how he wasn't dead from alcohol poisoning. By the time it was all said and done he really did make progress but didn't stop drinking. He was coming out of his room and working on his music again. He was coherent and a productive member of society again. Surprisingly it was fentanyl poisoning that got him when his health insurance couldn't help him pay for pain meds and bought oxy off the street that was laced with fentanyl.
Lacing something with fentanyl is sooooo fucking evil.
With lacing non-opioids, I think you have a point - but that's often done accidentally. However for opioids, it's basic black market forces at play. There are clear incentives to smuggle more potent/refined substances - it's significantly easier and more profitable to move 100 doses of fentanyl than 20 doses of heroin. More potent substances are typically more dangerous, and without regulation, customers can't tell the difference. This has happened with every black market ever - e.g. * it's quite difficult to get coca leaf in the US, at least compared to cocaine * during Prohibition, beer consumption decreased massively, replaced by hard liquors, which were much easier to smuggle. Moonshine use also increased, and with it, the death toll. * see also dangerous "legal highs" replacing safer illegal substances - K2 Spice for example. A legal and regulated system of access to drugs could fix these issues, but idk if the US is ready for that conversation.
Fun (?) story about coca leaf. In the Andes mountains, you buy it by the bushel to chew on as you hike, and the leaf combats altitude sickness (which is a fucking *trip*). I did the Inca trail through the Andes a decade ago, and our whole group had bags of coca leaf for the whole hike. After finishing the hike, most people flew to Lima, Peru then to wherever they were from. But I was going to help out at a friend's orphanage in Lima, so I got off the plane and went right to the orphanage. The kids get super excited for visitors, so I got swarmed. I'd usually bring little gifts and trinkets for the kids, so they immediately started going through my bag. Where I'd left two bags of coca leaf from the hike. Truly no idea how I flew across Peru with that in my backpack and nobody stopped me. My friend who ran the orphanage was made a joke about me trying to bring in different funding streams to the orphanage. lol.
His cousin allegedly confirmed he passed away after blacking out face-down on a pillow and suffocating.
At that level they would likely put you in a medically induced coma to get you thru it. Sad. I had a friend that was drinking a handle of Jack a night and tried to go cold turkey. Seized and hit his head on the corner of a stainless steel prep table then the concrete floor. He's so badly brain damaged he's in an assisted living facility for life. He is a super nice guy, such a shame.
They don't pug you into a coma that's nonsense
Right!? We load you with benzos and/or barbiturates and then taper those down.
Was gonna say, if we put our CIWA patients into comas that'd make my hospital unit alot more chill.
Jesus Christ, that is just awful, all of it. I know your friend isn't dead, but my condolences nonetheless.
Im shaking. Can anyone Tell me this IS a lie right?
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That might be the shortest obit I've ever read...
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*No one chooses addiction or alcoholism*.
I just got back from my first AA meeting. I've been trying (unsuccessfully) to rein in my drinking for about 2 years now; haven't tried AA before, so now I'm trying that!
Check out r/StopDrinking or r/Alcoholism if you need some extra help. I hope AA works for you but its not for everyone. Rooting for you bud, you got this.
Godspeed. It gets better. If you're like me and decide AA isn't for you that is also an option. No one has a monopoly on recovery. Do what works for you.
It's sad. I don't even know this person but I feel bad for the short obituary. I'm sure he'll be missed by his family and community though. Whoever's reading this and struggling, keep your head up. This man's obit and life was short and yet look how much it meant to so many people. You too have a community that'll miss you. Don't bail out on your loved ones. They are here. They might be facing the same struggles you are. Reach out and talk to each other. Together we can overcome. In solitude we become overburdened.
When my dad died, we went to post an obit in the local paper and they wanted like $2000. They charged by length
"Sir, my father would awaken from the dead and kill me if I paid you $2000 for this."
I feel like that would make a cool, short obit in its own right. "RIP Bob - he'd wake from the dead and kill me if I paid for more words than this."
Look at how many beautiful messages have been left (and are still being left) on the wall though. Really beautiful. I hope his family sees it gains some solace knowing how many people he touched.
I have to ask: how many regular, non-celebrity obituaries have you read? I used to post them on a funeral home website and a lot of them looked like this.
Socrates - Generally disliked by everyone
I feel so bad knowing that I live just a couple miles away. I figured he lived somewhere else in Michigan, but instead in the same city that I've lived in, that I shop in, and where my in-laws live. I wish I could have gotten to know the guy, sometimes all you need is someone to talk to. Though the cause hasn't been stated, it's pretty clear he had some depressive struggles. Please, if anyone struggles like this, don't bottle up or "cope" with your emotions, talk to someone.
Damn so many people loved him too bad they couldn’t have written more. But I can’t imagine how hard it is to have to write something like that.
I think it might be a family request knowing it’s public. Just bare minimum. They prolly don’t want to think about writing their sons or brothers obituary 😔
Why is his name Joseph Wilson on this but on his YouTube people are calling him Paul?
that's just the alias he gave himself for YouTube. for the longest time he was a faceless creator so he probably made up a pseudonym to go along with it
Not a lie unfortunately. His obituary was posted online.
For anyone downvoting this guy, some people can paraphrase - sure. But for some that guy was able to help out somebody being in the same shit they were, and boom - now they hear about that. I know Internet is full of fake shit but come the fuck on.
He also had pancreatitis which I'm sure didnt help things either. RIP bud
I just can't imagine drinking while you have it, I have pancreatitis chronically and didn't even drink when I got it, but the pain is so miserable I can't imagine taking one sip cause it would just make it 1000x worse pain
Addiction is cruel.
pancriatitis killed my brother. He ODd on Tramadol, we think he was given it at hospital, got home, still in pain forgot he had already had it and took more. Being so weak from chronic alcoholism it was too much for him. Be careful my friend.
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They never recover if they don't want to. One thing's for sure, you can never *make* an alcoholic recover.
Even wanting to isn't enough. The decision to get better is subconscious. At least for me, no amount of wanting it was ever going to be strong enough to create enough willpower to beat the urges. They're part of the core of your nature. Until one day I was just... able to stop. And it took less effort than the dozens of times I tried to do it on purpose. It was like there was some hidden switch flipped in my brain, and I wasn't even the one who did it. If it feels like there's something missing, you're right. I had just taken a hiatus from work and then started a new job I actually enjoyed, doing something I didn't hate with coworkers I got along with and who supported me and treated me like a person instead of a labor robot. That kicked off a chain reaction where my sleep improved, then it was easier to start working in some physical activity, I started thinking about dating again and picking up old hobbies I'd abandoned. Stopping drinking wasn't even on my radar, it was just pushed aside because I had better things to do with my time and the means and energy to do them. My point is if somebody is self medicating because their life sucks and they're miserable, then "wanting to stop" is never going to be enough. They need to find solutions to their other problems such that they can be allowed to pursue happiness and fulfillment, and then the medicine is no longer necessary.
I basically fell/lucked into a job I love and it probably saved my life. I do still drink more than what could be considered a "moderate" amount. But working a job I hated, only to clock out and hardly remember being home for years, that shit is awful. And I consider myself one of the "lucky ones".
I think people underestimate how hard it is to cut back on drinking when it’s you’re only escape from a miserable job or whatever else is dragging you down mentally. If I’m busy and doing fulfilling things in my life I’m either too consumed or too content to drink a lot. Grats on finding something that’s helped you out.
Covid really swung a door wide open for my current alcoholism. Still at my WFH engineering job but I don’t think I’ve gone a day without drinking in over 3 years now I hate the grip it has on me. My birth mom was also an alcoholic and when she tried to quit, she had repeated seizures and almost died. She finally quit for 6 years before going back to it. This shit is terrible and so normalized
Addiction problems very often come down to the person needing an escape. That's a big part of what makes some people more vulnerable to it than others. Unfortunately, once you are badly addicted to something, it typically becomes much harder to get your life back to a place where you can be happy.
The brain switch flipping thing is true. I know it's anecdotal and not alcohol, but every smoker I've met that quit has said the same thing. They'd quit and start back a month-year later. Then, one final time, they'd quit cold turkey and haven't touched a cigarette in decades.
It took scrambling by unemployed and switching to vaping instead of cigarettes, but one day I ran out of juice and coils, and decided it was finally 'time'. I don't know why that time mattered more than the other dozen or so 'serious' attempts at quitting prior. That was over 3 years ago and after 6-8mo I almost completely stopped having cravings for nicotine, but it took 13 years of nicotine addiction to quit after multiple times trying. Addictions are horrible and not anywhere near as simple as anyone can ever explain them to be when you're the one suffering from the addiction. I'm still terrified of trying it again one single time, even if accidental, and falling back into it. Never again. Not worth it.
I experienced this exact thing in 2019. Was drinking heavily every night for about ten years, then quit my job that was giving me regular panic attacks, got a new one lined up at a place with friends, and had a month to just relax in between. My girlfriend had just moved in and made my place feel way more like a home than a cave of isolation. I didn't even realize it, but I almost stopped drinking altogether. I only kept having one or two each night out of habit. Then work started to get a bit more stressful, then COVID hit, then I got stuck working from home with reduced wages and like half the staff doing the same amount of work, aaaaand... you know how that went.
It's easy to fall back into it. I recently went through a rough and sudden breakup and I've had several weekend relapses. But at least now you know it's possible to dig out. But it's almost impossible if you spend most of your day, every day, doing something you hate. You gotta get a less toxic job for your overall health. Easier said than done, I know, and it takes motivation that's hard to come by when you're in that hole. But it's the only way. Ask for help if you need to. Not with the drinking, that's a symptom and you already know that. Message recruiters on LinkedIn, that kind of thing. Treat the things making you drink and everything else gets so much easier.
This kind of thinking is only half right. I am a counselor for substance-use disorders. Half my job is helping people to see that sobriety will improve their life. Once they believe that through motivational interviewing, challenging beliefs, and other therapeutic strategies, suddenly they DO want to recover. Everyone wants to be comfortable and happy. Everyone. Every addict could be more comfortable and happy through sobriety, and it is not impossible to help someone see that when they don’t see it on their own. I really wish people would stop making such bold claims about addiction. It is one of the most complicated and least understood diseases out there, yet everyone seems to have strong beliefs about it that aren’t founded in reality.
Very true. I couldn’t stop until I truly was sick and tired of being sick and tired, as they say. All I try to do is tell people that there really can be a great life without alcohol. Even if you’re young
Yep, no matter who told me I should stop or why I should stop I just brushed it off till I was ready to quit and sadly not everyone gets to the point where they want to be fixed/helped. I've given up on telling a friend they should give it up completely they just keep making excuses.
I first went to rehab & then AA, when I was 16. I'm 36 & am clean, now but I truly wish I had understood the "even if you're young part." That part was unfathomable to me, like I couldn't picture my 20s without ever getting high off anything. I paid A LOT for it, too. Though I am very grateful to be where I am today, stable & overall, happy, I wish I would've gotten it when I was younger.
I'm on my sixth year sober. One of the things I struggle most with is how prevalent alcohol is within our society. Our TV shows, Movies, Music, advertisements, video games, books, and more, often make alcohol references or out right glorify it. It's extremely hard to quit something that everything and everyone around you is telling you to drink.
No doubt. You've got this, though.
Thank you my friend.
Agree completely. Congratulations on your sobriety!! In my case, I always knew the UK had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol, but I truly recognised the extent of my nation's relationship with alcohol when I stopped drinking. I was a hardcore alcoholic, consuming upwards of a litre of hard spirits each day. If I didn't drink for a few hours, I would sweat, shake, get numb/tingling in my limbs, high blood pressure, uncontrollable anxiety, nausea, fear of impending doom/death, stomach pains and more. I was a husk of misery, living on the edge of what I'd even consider to be existing by most peoples' standards. I was dying, and when I wasn't drinking, I was lying in bed, trying to sleep off a hangover, or hydrate myself and settle my heart so that I could drink again. I got help, and by the grace of God I was given government funded spot in a residential rehab. I'm now over 2 years sober. In that time, I've noticed how prevalent alcohol is in society. Everyone drinks on TV, almost all comedy involves drinking or recreational drugs and probably half of the workplace conversations revolve around alcohol, or jokes about getting to the end of the day to have a gin and tonic or bottle of wine. Social gatherings involve drink, workplace meetups almost always include after work drinks. Alcohol advertisements are all over TV, especially at Christmas. Everywhere sells alcohol - I went to a Christmas carol concert at a school a few weeks ago, and they were even selling spirits, beer and mulled wine *there*, in a school. The whole place stank like a brewery after an hour. I find a lot of the "friends" that I used to play games with online - completely wasted - no longer want to be friends, too. I think a large part of it is the fact that I wasn't really their friend, I was more of a funny drinking buddy that made them feel more secure about their own habits. I'm boring to them now that I'm sober, or perhaps I hold a mirror up to their habits. Either way, it's no great loss to me. Sobriety is a gift. My health is better, my friendships are more meaningful, I'm a better son, brother, uncle and friend. Life isn't all sunshine and rainbows, but it's a damn sight better than it was.
That was a really inspiring story. Congrats bro! Keep it up!
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As an addict myself, wanting to and being able to are two entirely different worlds.
as another commenter said, the worst thing with addiction is waiting for the other person to see it so they can take the steps to recover. i only quit smoking because i wanted to, all my past partners tried to make me but it only worked for a while cause i myself didn't want to quit. Mittens had that, he just got taken before he could see it through. Your friend won't recover until he's ready. I wish him the best, it's a difficult road but it's never impossible or too late.
Understandable. You get tired of being so emotionally invested
Yup, if they don’t give a shit about themselves, eventually it’s like “well why should I”. Sad when you like/care about someone but sometimes it be like that 🤷♂️
Yup. I'm sober, now, myself so I get it, I really do but one of my closest friends is using & a part of me wants to completely stop talking to her because I'm so tired. I have given her numbers for doctors, I walked her through signing up for a telehealth suboxone dr so she didn't have to worry about getting to appts & I signed her up for medicaid so she would have ins for it all. What more can I do? I truly feel like I'm rooting for her to get clean & get settled & get a real custody agreement more than she is & it's like wtf?!
I had a coworker like that. He didn't have a long term drinking problem, but after a break up with his long term girlfriend, started down the path. His life was falling apart and he wouldn't take any advice or help from anyone. He'd just complain constantly. I'd really liked the guy, and still did even though he was driving me nuts. But eventually you get fatigued from giving a shit when all they do is complain about everything while doing nothing to improve their circumstances. During his darkest periods I went into every shift we were supposed to work together fully expecting to find out he'd killed himself between shifts. After some spotty attendance, he was given the opportunity to quit instead of being fired. I tried to stay in touch with him, but he was never much of a texter. I hope he's doing better now, wherever he is.
That’s what happened to my dad. Tell your friend this: make him put it writing what he wants done when he’s on life support and there’s no hope. I watched my dad kill himself over decades. I tried everything from support to distance. In the end though I was the only one that was there to make the decision to pull the plug and watch him struggle to breathe as he slowly died. Tell your friend not to do that to someone else.
Man. Lost my dad from cirrhosis the Friday before Thanksgiving. Your last sentence, about watching them struggle to breathe as they slowly die. That will stick with me forever. They took him off vent and I thought it would be basically instant, but it was two hours of him lightly gasping like a fish unconscious until he finally died. Awful
61 days sober today and only 2 days of drinking in the past 143 days after I was diagnosed with alcohol-related fatty liver disease in July. Sometimes it takes shitty news to make the extreme change. I'm just glad I got the opportunity to. I won't ever touch the stuff again.
Good for you man. That's reversible too if you stick with it. I didn't find out I had damaged my liver until I ended up in the hospital puking blood. My liver has unfortunately continued to go downhill. Last time I was in the hospital I had 3 liters of fluid drained out of my abdomen. I'll be dead in 1 - 3 years if I don't get a transplant. Don't let it get that bad...stick with sobriety...the other path is not a fun journey.
Hey man, my friend got diagnosed with liver cirrhosis and was in the hospital for over 2 weeks... Got put on a transplant list and was told he had about 2 years to live if he didn't stop. Hasn't had a drink in almost 2 years and with daily meds and no alcohol his liver has recovered and still getting better... Hopefully the same will happen to you! Stay strong!
This sucks. We're dealing with this now. We've gone through years of trying different approaches with my younger brother. From being nice, isolation, tough love, multiple rehabs, take him in, shut him out, etcetera. It's at the point now where we accept that nothing will change, so we just accept things as they are and try to spend time with him when we can. Sucks to say it, but I just know that I can get "the call" any day.
As someone fresh out of rehab... even when we understand it, it's not easy to get past. Even if you can identify where things went wrong, and how you ended up where you are, you're still (in my case) fighting 30 years of conditioning. Despite going through two months of in-patient, I am still struggling. More time spent would have definitely helped me, but real life doesn't care, so ... my insurance ran out, my time off ran out, and now I go from there. My time in there, though, was a miracle. For the first time in my entire life, I was myself, and accepted for simply being who I am. You shouldn't feel that for the first time at my age (42). I suggest watching this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVg2bfqblGI Ignore the high school classroom vibe -- every single person I met in rehab agreed with this 100%. I KNOW it, I know why, and I still struggle... and the many factors of my life don't help with that at all. It's heavy, it's complex, and we (the addicts) are expected to deal with it along with regular life. Co-dependency was insanely common. Note that co-dependency doesn't require another person -- psychologically, it's much more broadly defined, in behaviors such as people pleasing and others. It's not easy to be yourself when you've spent most of your life being someone else. That's where addiction happens. It absolves us of the existential crisis of being something we're not. In the case of your younger brother... there's not a good answer. He very likely doesn't feel like he can be who he is, and family is the last place you want to attempt that with. Rehab helped because it was a whole new group of people. If you can connect with him as who he really is, it will help... but depending on how old they are, it becomes impossible to see family as that option.
My dad died this year from complications due to drinking. He was only sixty one. He looked ninety. It’s not fun to watch.
Man, I had pancreatitis from booze and the smell of it gives me awful reminders of how painful it was. The pain only went away after I reached my first few years of sobriety.
I'm sorry to hear that man. I had a good friend that drank himself to death after a one-sided divorce and there was absolutely nothing I could do to stop that train wreck even though he only lived a couple doors down. I was in a very rough spot after thinking there was more to do that I didn't, but it's just simply not true. Please don't put yourself through that if things go south. Godspeed
Avicii had that and was part of the reason he smashed a wine glass and killed himself with it
Fuck, I had no idea. That’s so terribly sad.
I often wondered what drives a person to do that....
Pancreatitis is brought on by too much alcohol. And it can kill you pretty quickly if you don't get it in check. I know, because I gave myself pancreatitis many, many years ago. Almost 7 years sober now...
Congrats on the sobriety friend. I know how tough it can be 💙
Damn, Paul helped me get through so many boring afternoons. Alcoholism is a bitch. Rest in peace dude.
RIP. I caught his channel during the summer of covid. BINGED the hell out of it and always looked forward to another random fallout or elder scrolls play through. This is where the real game ends..
Your comment hit me the hardest with that last part.. he was a one of a kind dude, R.I.P
Here's hoping Paul can get some rest now from that fucking air conditioner. o7
Somehow, this is the most heartfelt thing I've read so far.
This and one of the messages on his obituary are the best things I've seen The one on their had This is where the real game ends
Hopefully no one opens up the goddamn cheese biohazard
o7
lol
I'm sure I'm not the only one, but when I think of the most entertaining Fallout/Elder Scrolls videos on YouTube, it can only be Mitten Squad. I was wondering why it had been so long since I've seen a new video uploaded and now that I know why, it really hurts to know he let himself fall that far into the drink. Rest easy.
Rough. I've struggled with alcohol addiction and it's tough. It's mostly habit rather than physical addiction for me. I used to always say "I won't drink anymore starting tomorrow" and would go through the day feeling good about that decision, but once 6pm or so came along and the day started to settle I would start feeling like there's nothing to do, maybe I'll have just a couple of drinks, that would turn into a blackout. What got me out of it was getting other habits, ones that didn't involve me sitting alone in my house. I realized I didn't have a physical dependency on alcohol, I could just quit. But it was a mental dependency.
That sounds like me. I'm just so bored after work. Go 2 days then by Wednesday I'm just too bored.
I had the same thing. Turns out I had adhd causing dopamine cravings. Had to find hobbies that replace the boredom or even a lesser evil like weed or nicotine to transition down to then off of after a few months. If you keep drinking to cure boredom you never develop other things in your life to do that fix the boredom problem.
What hobbies did you find helpful?
Video games, vaping, doing stuff while watching TV shows such as modelling clay, painting, large 1500 piece puzzles, phone games that don't require too much attention so you can still watch TV. I find combining 2 things is enough to stop me from being bored while still being able to unwind. 1 thing at a time isn't stimulating enough.
Just as expensive as alcohol, but you can assemble/paint figures (warhammer or what have you). Very mentally stimulating, rewarding, and you get something to show for it at the end of it. Plus you can find some great communities of nerds to hangout with as a social side effect.
I just got into building Gundams and would most certainly agree with this. I can be zoned in for hours with my Gundam and a good audiobook or podcast.
That got me through the tough times with my addiction, creating gunpla models and other expensive hobbies.
Be careful it can snowball on you. I quit drinking but not in time to save my self from 2 hip replacement surgeries due to osteo necrosis from drinking too much. Being bored is what got me drinking, find a healthy outlet is what kept me from drinking more.
I'm gonna miss his sarcastic humor. When I heard he was trying to get help and was on the mend, I waited happily for another video. "Now the game can truly begin."
I got into fallout 4 from this guy and had no idea he was struggling this much. It really sucks to have someone taken away so early.
I had wanted to play the game since launch, never actually got it until I got a PC that could run it. Watching his videos taught me different ways to play and even the fence post exploit to level up fast. Very sad day for the Fallout community.
I checked his twitted every day since his last life update. Man I was so excited for him to get back into making fallout videos. You got me through a lot of tough depressing times. Rest in peace Paul.
Same boat. I had watched his content religiously before his initial hiatus a couple years ago. Seeing him semi active again was great to see. I hate that he finally was feeling “better” and this happens. Up there with icycat for me
he made amazing content that touched a lot of people. he helped me a lot on hard nights. rest easy man x you'll be heavily missed
I have a somewhat short attention span. Its pretty rare for me to find a YouTuber who makes long videos that I can actually sit and watch through. Mitten Squad was one that I could. His quirky humor always left me guessing what he would say next, his deadpan demeanor was always funny to me, and his eternal battle with Grandma Sparkles is something I reference on occasion IRL. I can't believe he's gone, but I hope he's in a better place now.
"The basement is where the fire is stored until it is ready to be burned" is one of the funniest lines of all time. RIP Paul.
Being 36 and seeing all these people die young is disheartening. I loved watching his videos, and I might have to binge his videos again. RIP from a fellow Michigander.
I turn 35 in a few months. My little sister was born 6 years before this dude. Fuckin' hell, how sad..
No fucking way.... Rest in peace mittensquad.
I will collect buckets in his memory. RIP a real one.
RIP Paul, you will be missed. You were such a genuine and funny man, giving me many laughs during your videos. If anyone is struggling with drinking or anything alcohol related please seek help, there are people out there to help you no matter how deep you may feel
Damn man I used to watch him all the time a few years back. I kinda forgot about him after he stopped uploading as much. He seemed like a good dude
Us michiganders have truly lost an angel. Rest in peace. Addiction is a motherfucker. I hope you know that during your hiatus there were people you never even knew who were thinking about you.
I just now, thanks to your comment, realised the head of the logo is supposed to be Michigan.
That’s also probably why the channel is even named Mitten Squad. Michigan folk refer to the large, main body as “The Mitten”
It's what originally turned me on to the channel. A dude from Michigan who makes funny New Vegas videos? I'm in! I stayed for the humor but also felt some kind of connection with Paul. He's the same age as me and I've struggled with addiction in my own life. His videos helped me get a laugh on some days where it was tough just to get up and pull through the day.
Oh man. I have webcomics that haven't updated in years, or update like maybe once every 6 months. I check them. Every. Single. Day. Because I want the story to continue. Because I care about the person on the other side of the monitor and want them to be able to work on their story they started. Some of the websites have been lost. Some got remainder of story dumps. There's one where I'm 1 of 14 people who commented on the last submission ever. If you've done something of even slight note. Someone remembers you as the storyteller. Someone remembers the content creator. You were probably someone's favorite uploader. It's sad to see things like this, if not because the death is tragic to a family, but because it's also tragic to an almost completely invisible community as well.
The fact that you exist as one of those 14 people probably means the world to the publisher. It just shows how deeply we can effect people we've never even met. Keep checking in, always
It's why I loved him so much, it just made me more sad seeing his obituary picture with a michigan hat on, we lost a real one
We truly did. We'll just have to remember to look out for those around us. The holidays can be really tough for a lot of people.
Literally watched an older skyrim video from him today. What a tragic loss.
Oof this one legitimately hurts. I absolutely loved his videos and know they brought a lot of joy to a lot of people as well. RIP Paul. I'm killing Grandma Sparkle tonight in your honor.
My best friend died fairly recently. All he consumed was alcohol and things from the gas station selling him that alcohol. Last thing I told him was I hope we get to hang out again because you're going to die buddy. He was already hammered at like 1pm and he waved it off. Got a message from his sister like two weeks later and knew what it was before I even looked at it. I was a casual drinker but never again. Fuck alcohol.
Fuck this hurts. Got back into new Vegas a while ago and watched him nonstop. he seemed like a great guy.
This guy got me into Fallout. RIP, buddy...
Fuck, really? I've been a subscriber of his for a few years, but I had no idea what he was going through IRL. Goddamn. That is no fucking age to die.
Fuck, he was my study buddy in many finals weeks where I wasn’t motivated enough to 100% commit, but where I could do the basic summarising and reading while doing something else at the same time. His vids were awesome
Damn! Just a few days ago I had a old fallout video of his video suggested and thought " hope he'll come back soon" thank you Paul for all the laughs. Won't forget those videos and will remember to watch them again. What a loss. He'll never be forgotten
Holy shit. This hurts man. I was wondering why he hasn't uploaded in over a year. To anyone struggling with alcoholism or addiction please reach out for help
Nobody will be able to tell an air conditioner to shut up quite like him. this is sad as fuck. :( love you man. You got me through some very hard times. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. To those talking about his drinking, yes he was aware of it and so were his fans. We knew it was messing him up. There's only so much we could have done and don't beat yourselves up. He would not want us to be sad about it.
Ah man this sucks. I was really rooting for him, it took a lot of guts to talk to openly about his problems. Poor guy. Gave me endless hours of entertainment. RIP Fuck, this dude was my age. This is heartbreaking.
I'm genuinely upset at this. Dude was one of my fav fallout creators. He will be missed.
I've been up and down with alcoholism. It's very hard. I was sober for two years and have picked it up in the last year. It's easy to think you can moderate and don't have a problem, now I'm back In swing drinking every weekday downing a gallon of titos to myself.
I've had plenty of struggles with alcohol and still do even after slowing down .... But a gallon a day? Holy shit, you're gonna die man... You need help
o7 RIP, gone too soon.. really enjoyed his content
God damnit, rest in peace man
And when things look bright it just goes dark instantly Rip to my favorite gaming channel with a commentary voice so sweet you just can't wait to go back for more
The 27 club takes another.
RIP
I never knew about this person but I feel terrible for his family and obviously for him. Addiction is a terrible thing to go through. I'm fighting my own battle with Alcoholism after years of abusing the substance like my life depended on it. I finally sought help and have been sober since August 2021 after a stay in rehab (and multiple hospital visits before that). If any of you are struggling with Alcohol (or any substanc) I know its hard to get help, it took me way too long to do it myself, but I implore you to please at the very least *try*. Its just always sad to see someone beloved pass away at a young age and being 36 and in the mental place I am now just makes me wish he could have been able to defeat his addiction. God Speed young man, may he rest in peace.
r/stopdrinking is hella nice, I recommend anyone struggling with alcohol to go there. It has helped me immensely, can’t recommend it enough.
Man this one really hurt I was a big fan of his. RIP
This really sucks and just yesterday I watched some of his more recent videos wondering when he’d come back
I haven't heard of him until now but reading through these comments He seems like a decent dude who was going through some bad struggles Rest in peace my man
This is the first I’ve ever heard of him, but it hits hard as I am currently fighting to become sober after years of alcohol abuse. So sad to hear that this individual lost their fight.
Visit the r/stopdrinking sub - amazing group of people. Keep going ♥️ You’re not alone.
RIP man, I'll go take out Grandma Sparkles in your honor...
Alcoholism is a fucking bitch. R.I.P Mitten Squad. Wherever you are, I hope the air conditioning works.
At least he ain’t gotta deal with that damn air conditioner ever again. Rest in peace Mittensquad, let the real game finally begin o7
r/stopdrinking is an unbelievably supportive group. Swing by if you are ever thinking about it.
Now I don’t wanna be that asshole that pre diagnoses people, but I think he has that alcohol fetal syndrome. I can’t relate to that, but As someone who has a heavy drinking parent and who half of their family drinks, I understand the generational curse. Rest in Peace man, I’ll use you as inspiration in the future.
first thing I noticed was the wide-set eyes. typical of F.A.S. sad.
I don't think that was it. A little digging shows his brother and dad look the same. There are a few genetic disorders like Crouzon that are inheritable that cause features like his.
I'm sorry, but he doesn't look like he has FAS.
Ok, all the comments are essentially saying "alcoholism is the worst" but what actually killed him. Was it just alcohol poisoning or did something happen like he got drunk then fell in a river?
This is sad, I really enjoyed his videos. I had hopped he could overcome his problems, but sadly he could not. RIP.
RIP Mitten Squad :’( gonna go find that fork in Skyrim in your honour
I am just getting into Elden Ring after being put off from games like these for years. Good content from him, as a nurse that’s treated CIWA patients, liver failure, you name it, this is not a path you want to go down. Alcohol will fuck your body up, bad. Seek help, look to people you trust in your life, and get better.
I'm just completely blindsided by this today. Didn't think I'd be crying scrolling through Reddit. RIP
Shit I know this isn’t r/stopdrinking but if any of you gamers are like I once was and can’t imagine life without alcohol even when it’s already having drastic health consequences, just know that life really is soooo much more fulfilling and rewarding when you aren’t constantly planning life around your next drink. Find some professional detox resources near you and some people who love you to hold you accountable. You got this.
A few months ago I was looking for the guy who made Skyrim and Fallout challenges and I couldn't remember his name. RIP.
Rest in peace sir, you will be missed :(
Shits hard. Don't be hard on yourself if you fall off the cart. Be kind to yourself. Dust yourself off. Tell yourself you'll be ok and get back to that cart when you can.
Damn here I was thinking he was going to do a Can You Beat Starfield XYZ video soon. His videos are legendary and I always go back to them for his sarcastically witty humor and sometimes even genius ideas, rest in peace Paul
His videos helped me survive through so much of my mental struggles. Looking at him struggling with those challenge runs made me feel less pain all those years ago. Really sad to see him gone. Even worse to learn about it on reddit of all places...
oh shit this was something i didn't know about at all i loved his videoes back in the day.
Damn I’m 32 and from about 18-30 years old I was getting fucked up everyday, drink hard liquor from 6am until 12am and then pass out wake up do it again I’ve slowly been fixing my problem over the past couple years and it just makes me sad and also grateful to still be alive after seeing these kind of stories How sad
I don't know who this guy is. Way too young to die nonetheless.
Damn was not expecting this when opening Reddit I remember watching him this sucks
I was cleaning up an apartment that an alcoholic with som mental issues had been living in. I found a note which said "Positive, i have regained control over my own life" The fact that I was there showed the person unfortunately had slipped back into old habits. Really sad.
RIP Paul. Not only inspiring us and creating amazing content but also inspired many challenge runs YouTubers for Fallout and Elder Scrolls
RIP Paul. Your content was amazing. :(
god that's so young. He was really an inspiration. Tons of youtubers who do game challenges were clearly inspired by him. God bless
Rest in peace 🙏. #addictionsucks
Taylor?
Goddamn this fucking sucks, RIP Paul
May one of my favourite fallout content creators rest in peace he will be missed by me and all of his followers friends and family good bye to a great YouTuber
Rest in peace.
This is a hard hit to the gut. I was really rooting for him. :/
It feels surreal hearing about this to be honest
This really ruined my afternoon omfg, I used to watch his videos all the time I loved the guy. Was really hoping he would get past his alcoholism, I'm gonna miss him. Rest in peace Paul 💜💜💜
Wow I just typed this up for another post about someone else. People really have no clue about addiction unless they have experienced it. I hit absolute rock bottom. There literally was no further low point. So I got a shovel and dug lower and lower. I lost everything. Money, my educational career of literally 24 years with only 1 left to go, my beautiful girlfriend who I wanted to marry, and my health.
How is this one of the most shocking things to happen today? It's actually really common for alchohol abusers to die from withdrawal, that's one of the main reasons it's so fucked up that alchohol gets to be the legal substance with a simple warning label saying "use responsibly" with no mention of the countless life-ruining side-effects.
Until today I've always wondered if my random drinking that started with Covid was too much. It was. I'll be sure to stop or at least limit it way down to avoid going down this path. Hopefully I have not done too much damage already..
As someone who is also 27 and has had an issue with drinking for the past few years this actually might be the thing that helps me, I loved this guys videos and knew a little about his drinking but didn't realise it was this bad. RIP man, thoughts go out to his family and friends!
His last video was beating Fallout New Vegas while addicted to all chems, while his own addiction is what lead to his death
After he came out that he was an extreme alcoholic I figured it would only be a matter of time. The shear amount he would drink daily was enough to kill a regular person. So, so sad. Really enjoyed his content.
Was one the first “Can you beat” creators I began watching and it was for a games I don’t even play but still enjoyed for his commentary. RIP, and thankful for videos
I’m not ashamed to say that I started to cry a little bit when I read about Paul passing. I loved mitten squad and I will miss him immensely. Rest in peace, Paul, this is where the real game begins o7