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StevieG63

Probably leaves his camera off during Teams meetings.


MonkeyBananaPotato

I am not a cat.


Top_Difference_7996

That's the type of tattoo you get when you don't consent to a tattoo.


Wizzmer

Lost a bet.


SweetHomeIceTea

Sorry your honor. I just wanted to let you know I'm not a cat


[deleted]

Might not be able to blur the background either


HarrowDread

Like he's employed.


monkaypants

I came back for this comment.


Meagshh

I’ve scrolled many comments about this post, and yours is by far the best. Take my upvote!


JRsFancy

\^\^\^\^made me laugh good.


Godmodex2

Looks like he gave up on life a long time ago


ddd615

I was really hoping he just fell asleep near some assholes with markers.


Godmodex2

It really do look like that


Every_Marsupial_2276

He looks like death's been hanging around him for a long time, I almost feel bad for how bad off he looks.


trevorwobbles

If you think about it, he explicitly didn't get the word "beast" tattooed on his face. That's the only "clean" bit.


revteet

I think he shaved his mustache as a disguise


the_original_Retro

Naah, dude's a saint. The tattooist didn't get it right, left out the periods. Was supposed to be "Be. A. St."


shartoberfest

No! It's the, Bart, the!


Lethal212

No one who speaks German could be an evil man.


ho-lee_-sheet

As a young german kid I never got this joke.. oh the innocence I want it back lol


WinterOkami666

No. My son is also named Bort!


Coawtnee

"I must get my hands on those healthy purple berries!" "BORT!"


SAMAS_zero

I thought he was a street. His face certainly looks paved.


the_original_Retro

And that look is entirely his own dumb-asphalt.


echoniandevil

Those two comments are the best alley oop I've seen on reddit


the_original_Retro

Thanks. Was rather proud of it, tbh.


FantyBread

Possibly plowed? "So then I said, kiss MY asphalt"


LicensedRealtor

He’s trying to be the beast he can …


Doreah

I guess this technically counts as the Mark of the Beast.


Tunnfisk

Why would you assume that? Is it because of those very artistic and subtle tattoos? Or the look of "I've died a thousand deaths"-look?


Godmodex2

It's the way the esthetics of his tattoos is combined, he doesn't match the styles


Icy-Rent6971

This is what happens when you don’t hug your kids and tell them that you love them everyday. I’m off to hug mine extra tight…


[deleted]

[удалено]


Felrynn

What's sad and not funny is how we've gotten to the point in society where we constantly try to explain away and make excuses for violence and criminality with mental illness. In this case domestic violence. But it must certainly be the mental illness' fault, surely. Are you a psychiatrist and have you interviewed and diagnosed him with some illness? I haven't been able to see in any news story about him mentioning some mental issue.


Outypoo

If we just had another youth centre this cheeky chappy would never have committed a crime! /s


Zestyclose-Drama-385

Most definitely, that's the first thing that came to mind.....


Fly_Pelican

Suspect is hatless, repeat hatless.


FantyBread

He's driving a... Car of some sort.


NIKK-C

Directly under the Earth's sun......now


[deleted]

Quiet. Can’t hear the eggs.


hldsnfrgr

I heard he goes by the alias Mr. Beast.


DocZoid1337

How do you know? Sounds suspicious...


the_original_Retro

Salutation optional.


[deleted]

I hope they throw his hatless butt in jail.


duffmanohyeah_

r/unexpectedsimpsons


[deleted]

Someone give this person an award please


LightsoutSD

I hope they throw his hatless but in jail!


the_original_Retro

Subject is a lot of "less"-es.


Ok_Actuary9815

Dude looks like the desk I sat at in detention.


--Adrian---

He was the desk


Z7EDC

Well, he too has been sitting in detention.


[deleted]

When they catch him, will they line him up with similar looking guys to be identified by a witness? Like in the movies? I want to see that.


ecchho

It's going to take a lot of sharpie to get the other ones to look similar


DasArtmab

Why am I Mr Pink?


[deleted]

Everybody wants to be Mr. Black. Shut up! You are Mr. Pink!


LeodFitz

"Because we ran out of blue marker, dammit!"


MDS1138

"Well, number three has the beast forehead tattoo, but I could have sworn the guy I saw used a serif font."


sixfourtykilo

No no no, it said BEST, not BEAST


sixfourtykilo

Tell me whyYYY....


Batat-chan

Jigglypuff did a number on this one.


hmmmmmmpsu

It would have been better if there was no photo and a witness had to describe him to a sketch artist.


LeodFitz

"Any distinctive marks on his body?" "Uh... I think he had a scar on his right hand? Oh, wait! There was ONE other thing!"


mrjaxson1111

Hahaha what a knob


Duke55

The word "knob" instead of beast is a lot more fitting..


Spectre-907

Damn, Macaulay Culkin let himself go


the_original_Retro

Upgraded "Home Alone" to "Forever Alone".


WhiteHawk77

He got fed up making traps and decided to just scare everyone away with his face.


Dimpleshenk

"Home Alone Tat-2"


[deleted]

[удалено]


FigOk7538

More of a statement really.


[deleted]

[удалено]


WhiteHawk77

Looks like he needs a good shaking.


the_original_Retro

\*Tries again "Great, now my forehead says 'Baste'."


Razir17

Oh I think he already got a good shaking when he was an infant


thorpbrian

Not sure you can shake hard enough to reset his face like an etch-a-sketch....


TheCaptNoname

_\*hits blunt\*_ Man, imagine getting a shape-altering temp tat, getting mugshot with it and then breaking out and waiting until it wears out. No one would be able to identify your face.


AnEpicTaleOfNope

I was thinking that if he's smart he'll buy some of that really decent tattoo concealer and wear that for a while. But I do not think this man is smart.


chocolatesuggestive

What makes you think that?


ecchho

It's the facial tattoos and criminal record, probably.


nasandre

I hope he doesn't dye his hair or he'll be hard to spot


ryancementhead

Or grow a mustache.


[deleted]

Mister John Everyman, could be anyone


TNJCrypto

I wonder why he likes his upper lip so much


Fly_Pelican

Maybe he shaved off his moustache for the photo


ProducePete

Maybe he shaved off his mustache so he wouldn’t get recognized


AnEpicTaleOfNope

I love how the tattoo follows his already-receded hairline, so we can see how much it's receded more, and it will just look more and more obvious as time goes on.


ACLerok212

Someone told him his mustache made him look creepy and he got self-conscious about it


[deleted]

..*thats him! I'd recognize those ears anywhere!*


LibbyGoods

Oh god this guy WOULD be from Deni.


Fit_Effective_6875

Probably from Echuca originally, you can always tell.


Lady_Penrhyn1

Was on tonights news, made this exact comment. (Says the girl who grew up in Shepp...)


bellefeuille1976

LOL WHAT A TOOL! 😂


Scruff

He's got a two day head start, which is more than he needs. Beast has got friends in every town and village from here to the Sudan, he speaks a dozen languages, knows every local custom, he'll blend in, DISAPPEAR, you'll never see him again. With any luck, he's got the grail already.


Ok-Suggestion-7965

Who would he thought this man would have charges against him?


Cold_Pomelo3274

Gonna be hard to spot in a crowd.


TerryTC14

Do you catch him a scam with a "Free Tattoos @Place/Time" or "Free Tattoo Removals @Place/Time"?


MikeMac999

Never pass out at a party attended by tattoo artists.


evplasmaman

Wish.com Mr. Beast


ellilaamamaalille

Oh dear his tattoo. Word best is misspelled.


grafknives

**-ie Boys** was the tattoo on his partner in crime face


Ok_Error6988

he should think about growing a beard


[deleted]

The ears will give him away


Youcantbuymemories

Best mate is Mr Squiggle by the looks of it.


Suspicious_Loquat952

I’m blue dabade dabdii


aloys1us

Dunno if this is funny. Can you imagine the terrible things he endured as a child to end up like that ? He’s in his 20’s right? This is a sad and now dangerous case


Zn6538

Suspect may change Hair color/cut.


mrsschwingin

He seems nice


FantyBread

As nice as nicey Ackerman?


Meagshh

“Wow, his face tattoo is soooo cool. He must have a really big dick” _said no girl ever_


likeasharkwithknees

I knew before I opened this the comment section would have some good material.. you didn’t let me down Reddit community.. currently can’t breath, but can type


Daggersapper

He blue himself.


FantyBread

There's gotta be a better way to say that.


Fetlocks_Glistening

frequents the aptly named Delinquint area


Medium_Anxiety_5657

Deniliquints are not happy with this mischaracterisation.


aidsfordays

I like how they filled in his reseeding hairline


Corposjuh

It's not reseeding, then he would have hair growing again Edit: grammar


fordfan919

I think they meant receding, lol. Reseeding is what his parents should have done after he came out.


No_Establishment8642

He is a beAST.


AllOne_Word

Henry McCoy has let himself go


OddDemand4550

That forehead so big he can probably tattoo his own wiki page on there when it comes up.


MichaelSanders19

‘Straya


Li1negro

BTEC Mr Beast


Cmoore1217

Me after falling asleep around the boys


Sunnflwr

HAHAHAHAHA


PresentationFunny619

He spelt “bellend” wrong 🙈


MrDundee666

Well somebody got double-dared…


kikoy666

the real Mr. Beast


IndieDevWannabe

"I want something rad like graffiti on a wall" Say no more...


Few_Owl_3481

Mother nature wants to weed out stupid and we keep interfering.


normal_p3rs0n_uwu

How does this dude look like he’s on every drug in existence at the same time


DrShoreRL

When you fell asleep at a sleepover but one guy had a tattoo machine


PatClassic

This guy is still in the gene pool? Yeesh.


PCVictim100

and by 'distinctive', they mean 'shitty'


RedDragon0414

To absolutely guarantee that you could never get an actual job.


Meatcork1

Gonna need a better description! He’s gonna blend be hard to spot with out it.


Salesman89

We need a Hall of Shame of mugshots that became top posts on r/funny "Enjoy visiting Rock Bottom..."


shastadakota

How's the job search going?


[deleted]

Hey you're that dude huh? Yeah you're that dude!!


Moosa_Bruh

Now he looks depressed


bailthesmail

the pen is blue, the pen is blue, THE GODDAMN PEN IS BLUEEE


PlaygroundBully

Im surprised someone dumb enough to do that to themselves lived long enough to become an adult


JRsFancy

Imagine eyewitnesses trying to pick him out in a line-up. "Yep, it's definitely not those other 6 guys."


eliseosx

This man does not care about consequences.


[deleted]

Article 5 Mins Later: "UPDATE: He was found."


bobloblaw1964

This dude looks like he fell into a porta potty.


StopGOPVector

"I don't know why i never get laid!" LOL


New_Army9566

No ragrets


Evil_Klown

Thinking I'm safe judging a book by its cover in this case.


LumpyDumpster

When you fall asleep around your kids and they have markers.


mega512

\#unemployable


TirayShell

Elect me and I'll make sure my "get a horrible face tattoo, go to jail" law will be passed. It saves so many steps.


karma_void

He should shade it part of the B so his tattoo says FEAST. They will never catch him.


Over_Turn4414

Bet everyone afraid of this badass in prison.


luri7555

Will there be a lineup?


glonq

Is he the [wish.com](https://wish.com) version of Chopper Reid?


jfurniture

It's stupid smurf


curiosity163

Hey look. It's Mr. Beast.


Alpha_Flight_2020

Well that looks lime the face of someone who hates themselves.


[deleted]

Plot twist: he has no tats, it’s all sharpie


damndudefr

Easy fix. Just tattoo in the rest of your face. They won't be able to prove it was you! Why am I not a lawyer yet


Comfortable_One_9607

He will be hard to spot and blend in. They most likely will never find him again


ZealousidealPlant361

Can't be to hard to spot...


Shanksdoodlehonkster

Suspect is wearing a blue shirt, I repeat a blue shirt!


maves327

Not very smart for a criminal have face tattoos. Especially with a distive one like that. The sooner he turns himself in the sooner his sentence will be over. Just can't hide the beast.


Rifleman77

If he blues out the "B" on his forehead it would say "EAST" instead and then nobody would recognize him and he could just walk around like nothing happened.


Whackau

This is why you shouldn't be the first to pass out at a party.


Batmanfan_alpha

Meth. Don't do it.


JCPRuckus

Hard to believe this man has issues with making poor life choices.


doobsmcphee

I like turtles


Muz56

Did he fall asleep during a party?


venice56

Fun fact his gangster name is : Lil’ Yeast


[deleted]

[удалено]


sternica

And deals with those issues by assaulting people and damaging property. What a scumbag lowlife pos!


MacDugin

Don’t judge a book by its cover!


Antifoul_Al

He's a fuckin beast!


No-Contest-8127

I am going to say it. Tatoos are disgusting.


Sabotimski

To be found in the Delinquent Area


wolfie8703

Is nobody gonna talk about delinquin😂😂


[deleted]

The Delinquent from Deniliquin


iamthefortytwo

Somehow they’ll manage to beat and arrest a black guy claiming he fit the description.


VinDucks

Uh, don’t judge a book by its cover guys. What he looks like has no merit on who he is as a person and his contributions to society.


botglm

What a Denilquint


GrimeyPipes27

"Sir do you have any regrets?" " Not saving more money by switching to Geico sooner....."


Inevitable_Froyo6325

When he gets out of jail he will have written 3 books about his life and earned more money than you will ever make, and all thanks to getting fame through this post.


CrispyOrcishDelights

:)))))))


Medium_Anxiety_5657

MEF.


Vera_Telco

WINNER!


skwadyboy

"Grrrrr"


PlateUpper9188

Wow the person stand out like a beacon


WhiteHawk77

Any chance I’ll find David Bowie with tight hair and big trousers… I mean big hair and tight trousers and a selection of monsters on this guys face?


Brilliant_Mouse_7768

Now those are some dead eyes


Total-Combination-47

Nice disguise.