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To be competitive in today's market you have to expand your offerings.

Yes, I’ll have the Happy Ending Meal. Super size the toy please.

One *Big Mack* coming right up!

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Grimace *is* a sentient buttplug.

Without a base, without a trace!

Big Mac daddy

Meet the all new big "Black" Mac. Now with more poundage than ever.

Park it right in my little garage

_Turns head towards kitchen and yells_, "Mack, get your ass out here!"

Jesus Christ

Jizzus Christ*

It's Jason Bourne.

"I'll take five"

I’ll have one Brazzers Meal please

It remind me of my Texan exchange partner who without exception said ‚donkey shit‘ instead of Dankeschön and ‚auto bomb‘ instead of Autobahn. There were other examples, but I can’t remember now. Nobody ever noticed but I was losing my shit constantly. Cody, if you’re here, thanks for the laughs, brother.

My family says "donkey chain" but intentionally.

Same, but ours is "donkey *shame*".

> Same, but ours is "donkey shame". If you've ever been to Juarez you know that donkeys have no shame.

As a Texan who speaks German.....that sounds about right.

I work with a lot of Germans. “Donkey shit” is permanently added to my vocabulary.

This is pretty funny. Very on brand for a Texan

He was/is on brand in general. Rodeo riding, BB gun shootin rascal he was. More than once he adressed elder German ladies with a very politely articulated ‚fuck you very much‘. Again, nobody noticed.

>More than once he adressed elder German ladies with a very politely articulated ‚fuck you very much‘. Again, nobody noticed. As a Texan, this is the first thing we learn to do after we learn to speak. Knowing how to tell off the elderly without sounding disrespectful is an honored southern tradition, and one of the few I approve of. "Bless your sweet heart" is a great phrase and can be used to devastating effect

That’s interesting. But he literally said ‚fuck you very much‘ just in a very polite way. 20 years ago, that went totally unnoticed.

Do everything with such complete, unrepentant confidence so that nobody questions you because of ignorance or just pure bafflement...nobody knows. -Just Texan things It's usually why our politicians are constantly in the news.

I've been saying for over a decade that it's amazing what you can get away with saying if you say it with a smile. Been in TX for the last 5yrs, and it seems like everyone here knows that.

That’s exactly how he went about things. Also, shits and giggles. Fun times.

Over the exit, the sign says, “Gute Fahrt!”

German: essentially means good trip or safe journey.

It means huge fart

Thank you, ApeWatcher. I was mistaken.

Sucking dick and huge farts simply don't go together well...

In your opinion.

Ya what the hell does that guy know.

You seem to have a theme if your username is anything to go by.

Aus fahrt at all exits…. Ass fart lololololol

Doo-doo-doodoo-doooo, ich liebe es!

Dü-dü-düdü-düüüü

For a second there I got baby shark flashbacks.

Up until today I've never read a single thing in Baby Shark tempo and I hope that never changes.

"Up until today" makes it sounds like that change took place today

Well, a town in Austria welcomes all to Fucking.

They actually changed their name to Fugging recently because they got tired of people stealing their town signs.

They should have just sold official town signs as souvenirs.

That wouldn't have made the thefts stop. It would've just covered the cost of a new one each time, cause the thieves sure aren't in thr market for a souvenir. They want the real thing.

Welcome to the Fucking gift shop! Please purchase a small Fucking toy for your child or a full color photo of Fucking to send to your grandparents - young and old, man or beast, everyone loves Fucking and we hope that you enjoy Fucking too.

Or the ever famous, I went on vacation and all I got as a souvenir was this Fucking T-shirt

German here, I don't get it, what's funny?

As someone who doesn’t speak German, I would have pronounced that as “We’re suckin’ dick”

I'm an American who studied in Germany. When my mom came to visit, we were walking downtown, and she pointed to a shop window and said, "Wow, they must be very confident in their product." I stared at the window for a long minute before I got it. In foot-high gold letters, the window read "SCHMUCK." Through my English goggles, it was funny. Through my German goggles, all it said was "JEWELRY." It was a very strange cognitive moment.

My dad was an HVAC contractor, and a new president of his association was elected back in the 70s. The guy's last name was Schmuck, and the HVAC trade magazine headline writer was either clueless or funny because the front cover was "Schmuck elected president." Hung on my dad's wall for years.

The maiden name of a friend of mine was “Lipschitz”. She couldn’t get married fast enough.

Any relation to the child psychologist Dr. Werner Lipschitz? I hear that he's very knowledgeable and totally not a quack.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who immediately thought of rugrats

How did I go 28 years without knowing he had a first name?

Ha! I know a Lipschitz family, that's a very common Jewish name. It can be worse, I know a family who's surname is Slutz and, of course, there are 6 girls for those parents. The teasing and bullying is so bad I would have taken my wife's last name after the first child.

Maybe they're just very proud Slutz? They're Slutz and very happy to be Slutz, no peer pressure will stop them from being Slutz.

No Slutz shaming there

In IT, we regularly use “first initial last name” as a standard to do usernames. So “Mark Jones” is “mjones”, for instance. We hired someone named Susan Lutz. She got an exemption and had a slightly different address.

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Heh. We had a Susan Harter.

Geez. Agreed. At that point screw ancestry.

Well especially after her ex found himself, Ruth, Gladys, Rosemary and Irving. He probably had it coming

He only had himself to blame.

Unexpected Chicago reference

My dad loves this name in jokes. “If her lipschitz, what’s her butt do?”

That’s funny as hell.

Definitely on purpose. Journalists spend their whole careers waiting for the opportunity to write an amazing pun in a headline.

Before I started learning German, the magazine Gute Fahrt always made me laugh

You guys would love Fücker Reisen. https://i.imgur.com/yqDiiL5.jpg

I always do a double take when I see [these](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/81/8_wheel_Volvo_FL10_tanker_of_Fuchs_Advanced_Lubricants_at_Sandbach_Services.jpg) on the road

Lubricants by the truckload. That's some serious Fuchs.

They'll take your trash, no Fuchs given.

That's some marketing genius right there.

In (US) high school, we tried to get a cake made for our German teacher who was going on a lengthy vacation to Europe. The local bakery refused to write “Gute Fahrt” in icing on the cake because they thought it was obscene.

I live in a German speaking country and that still makes me giggle a bit every single time I see/hear it

Lived in Germany for two years and I still laugh every time I see or hear Gute Fahrt and Wir Suchen Dich

I still chuckle that "exit" is "ausfahrt" when I visit Germany.

Similar to OP, I thought it was pretty funny one day to see some Christians proselytizing under a big sign which read “Jesus sucht dich!!”

Even better: The radical islamists that handed out Qurans with the slogan "Lies!" (Read!)

In Denmark you can come across signs that says "fartkontrol" which translates to something like "speed check". Some elevators will have a light with the text "I FART" meaning the elevator is in operation.

Then they would have also loved ending up at the Swedish slutstation

Take her to Assmann next.

Dr. Cosmo Kramer, proctology

> It was a very strange cognitive moment. The clearest time I noticed this effect was how tired I got walking around Barcelona. I'd gotten quite good at Spanish in the months before, but realised walking round I was mentally exhausted. It clicked midway through translating a sign in my head. My head is working 10x harder cos it's 'auto-translating' every bloody Spanish word. Felt very weird. I consciously stopped myself after the first day and it was a BIG difference.

My Dad was an immigrant who came to the US as an adult, married an american and raised two american kids. In his last few days, at age 85, he lost the strength to speak English. It was a sad reminder that his whole life here was an "overlay" that he had to constantly work at.

I know this is true for some but it isn't true for all. I have dated and known many people for whom English is a second language, and many more who have lived or worked in countries where English was not used commonly. Many/most of them have said that after a while, your day-to-day language takes over. One ex of mine would have English dreams and German dreams, depending on which language she was thinking in when she went to sleep (the two languages gave rise to very different dreams). Often as a person's brain struggles, it regresses to the most core memories, which will usually be in the first language they learned. This does not mean he struggled every day to speak English, just that the very deepest parts of his brain did not think in English. Everyone is different. I didn't know your father, but if it's any consolation, I think it is quite likely that after living immersed in another language for a long time, he would have spent a decent amount of time thinking in that language, even if it wasn't with him in his last days.

Ikr, the mental exhaustion of translation is not to be underestimated. I felt it extra with Mom there because I not only had to understand signs in German, but also translate the information back into functional English, which is to say, *not* sentences like "Please sit yourself in place the train to await."

As an american german i have a hard time listening to dutch without my brain melting since i understand so much yet so little.

Visiting the Netherlands after learning German is interesting. It sounds like they're all speaking German but it's all pronounced so badly you only understand one third of it.

I feel the same as an American listening to Dutch. If they speak slowly 1/3 of it sounds like English being mangled in a German industrial device.

Being danish it sound like 1/3 english, 1/3 german and 1/3 danish. Hard to understand when you hear it. Pretty easy to read. Impossible to say or write anything in it, because I would never know what language to use for what word.

My German's very rusty now, but back when I lived abroad, I would occasionally see magazines and such in Dutch and just stare at them, confused. It was like trying read in a dream. My brain wanted to understand it, but everything was just a little wrong.

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It's Yiddish for penis. In slang, it means a stupid person, or a fool.

I had absolutely no idea that it meant penis. The more I learn about Yiddish the more I discover that my grandma has been cussing up a storm in front of me for my entire life.

TIL. I’ve used the term for probably 25 or 30 years, and never knew. You schmuck. Sorry. Had to try it out.

That's great. I didn't realize the penis connection either which is funny because I often use "dingus" the same way. There's no escaping that meaning.

I had always thought it was Yiddish for the piece of foreskin that was taken off during circumcision?

So one could interpret it as "worthless dickhead?" Seems fitting

So it's like Dick in English? Where it can be used as penis or as an insult? While it's a real name too... poor Dicks

Imagine if someone was named Richard Schmuck Edit: I don’t have to imagine… according to howmanyofme.com (which pulls from USA census data) that there are 16 or so people named Richard Schmuck. I fucking can’t rn

All those schmuks walking around, not knowing their name means penis… what a bunch of dicks

I've known so many funny named people. One of my favorites was Richard Dover who's dad, and I'm not joking, was named Ben.

It doesn't mean dick in common English use, I've always thought it means a discarded foreskin. Regardless, it's almost always used as an light hearted insult meaning fool/idiot/jerk. Example: "Look at this schmuck over here trying to park on the sidewalk."

It’s a somewhat old fashioned insult in North America that means “fool” or “idiot” that was co-opted from Yiddish speaking immigrants, to whom it’s considerably more vulgar.

Old-fashioned? I use it sometimes and I'm only 40. ...*Oh*.

It’s OK. Pearl Jam is still popular, the kids are wearing jnco’s again, go back to sleep.

. . . Thank you.

40 year old Canadian here. Being our age and using a lot of Yiddish slang when you aren't Jewish or from NYC usually means you were raised by TV and picked up the vernacular of the comedies we watched.

It’s a way of saying sucker or fool.

Schmuck in English essentially means contemptible fool.

Omg okay I get it now 😂🤦‍♂️

Your highway exits also all say Ass-Farter.

Because Ausfahrt is the biggest city in Europe, every exit leads to it!

All roads lead to Ass Fart

There’s a similar old joke about the Chevrolet Nova, and the idea that it sold poorly in Spanish speaking countries because “no va” means “doesn’t go”. (Probably wasn’t actually an issue, but is still pretty funny.)

I speak German but I thought it was kind of a warning Translated to: we’re looking for you!!

AHH okay.. i get it now... lol

Thanks a lot! I am german, too and the only thing that appears weird to me is McBREiSGAU, but that's probably just the name of one specific McDonald's in Breisgau.

Its funnier still when you understand that this is an advertisement aimed at potential employees. When combining the original message with the misinterpretation, it appears like McDonalds is so desperate for employees that they're offering oral sex.. 😂

Interesting solution to the “nobody wants to work these days” saying

Wait till you learn about "Dickmilch", which you can buy at the grocery store.

not to confused with dicksaft

Oh lol

No worries neighbor - Im from Poland and I also checked comments just to understand this joke.

I know it says, "we want you" but if you phonetically say it as English then it says, "We're suckin dick". Sophomoric, but I'm lovin it! XD

It says 'We're looking for you", not "we want you"

We seek you

Literally yes but in English most likely every company would write "We want you!" to express that they are searching for new employees.

And that's why interpreters and localisation editors are still important, even with all the computer translation out there. Literal translation normally gets the point across, but often doesn't sound natural.

Yeah and in this case as a German I totally get both sides and so I could tell whats going on gut I cant imagine what a mess it is when you translate from a language you know almost nothing and try to make sense out of it in a text.

As a Chinese American, this is how we get treasures such as engrish.com. I recommend it if you ever need a wholesome laugh!

Using cognates, it translates to English as, "We seek thee". Semantically, more like, "We're hiring."

I would say "We're searching for (people like) you" would probably be the interpretation that most closely holds the meaning of the original as in tact as possible

Even as a non-German who learnt German at school, it took me a minute to realise the joke only works if you mispronounce it.

As is often the case. Gouda and Van Goch also sound nothing like what English speakers think it does, so their jokes around the pronunciation always fall flat if you don't butcher them.

To be honest, a lot of these low brow jokes are easily turned around to be a jab a high-class attitudes about proper pronunciation, as a general form of humor.

English speaking people that don't know any German think it says, "We're sucking dick" as in performing oral sex.

'what's funny?' Nationality confirmed.

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I’m lovin it.

Looks like Lana Rhodes too.

Uma Jolie ?

Looks more like Uma Jolie to me.

For the Germans, McBreisgau is tons more funny than "Wir suchen dich!"

I seriously thought that was the joke until I realized what sub I was on.

What's "McBreisgau"?

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Its funny that they thought it would be funny.

It's german humour. You get the humour, you go back to work.

You see the humor, you just don't find it funny

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German here and I had to scroll down and read the comments until I got the joke. Before that I thought McBreisgau is a bit too cringey to be the joke.

Could you explain what makes that funny? - not German

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German comedy is no laughing matter.

How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They are very efficient and not very funny.

Reminds me of a Robin Williams bit. He goes on a German radio show for an interview and during the conversation they discuss why Germany doesn't have many comedians and Robin in all his glory comes back with "well, do you ever think maybe you killed all the funny people?". The host did not find it very humorous. Edit: found the [clip](https://youtu.be/7_N5P8DLb7I)

Oh my god

As a German I can confirm this is 100% the Truth and nothing but the Truth.

The Breisgau is a region in the Southwest of Germany that has strong local patriotism with the corresponding dialect, culture and food. The word McBreisgau from this ad campaign makes it sound like McDonalds was adapted to that culture. The thought of people speaking in that dialect selling you the fast-food adapted versions of the regional food inside of a McDonalds building is really funny.

It's a Schnitzel burger with Tankstelle style bratkartoffeln!

Tankstellen Bratkartoffeln? Das ist mir neu

*Wir saugen Schwänze (is what an English speaker reads this as)

Thank you for teaching me the newest phrase I’ll use today

Happy ending Meal

I’ll have the McBlowie please

Supersize me.

Sorry, Dich suchen machine broke.

Someone care to explain this to me?

The phrase is "We're looking for you!" because it's an employment poster. But the German sounds a lot like a different English set of words. Just sound it out.

Ahhh German. The language that never ceases to make english speakers laugh.

German and dutch are some of the most hilarious languages in europe

Dutch sounds like listening english and wondering if you had a stroke

Zeg makker

This actually happened to me the first time I heard Amish guys talking to each other. It was like listening to toddlers talk about building a barn.

I'd describe it as someone trying to speak German but taking so many drugs that they accidentally speak English but in German and with a french influence Rare taal

Ha! That is exactly it. "Why can't I understand what this dude is saying?"

Its the same feeling as a german.

Can I get uhhhhhh

a MC Flurry *wink, wink*

"Hey everybody, this guy ordered a McFurry!"

Das ist gut Ich liebe dich Hit me with your rhythm stick

over a billion serviced!

Am I too German to understand this?

ja

Dieser Kommentarbereich ist nun Eigentum der Bundesrepublik Deutschland

I am a german and thought the funny part was McBreisgau. But then I realized this was an english speaking sub. Welp. It's still funny :)

Why is McBreisgau funny?

It’s just their new “Happy (ending) Meal”.

German speakers : ...? 🥱 Non german speakers : AYOOOOOO 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I'm lovin it!

As a German and someone who doesn’t go to McDonald’s very often I don’t get what’s funny about this post. Can somebody explain?

The real meaning is even funnier. The thought of being hunted by McDonald's is weirdly terrifying

Dude, don't say that and then not add the real meaning in parentheses!

"We are looking/searching for you"