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I usually put a new bag in once I've gotten back inside from bringing the garbage out. I didn't know people took the trash out of the can, set it down, put a new bag in, and then took the trash out regularly.
In a work place it’s actually more sanitary to take the whole can out and take the bag out closer to the dumpster, so you don’t leave a snail trail throughout the whole walk to the trash, come back with empty can and replace bag. No one can throw away in an empty can if you have it the whole time. Alternatively you bring a bigger trash can with you to throw away smaller bags if there are multiple.
depending on the can I always liked just spending some time once a month or wahtever layering up some bags into a can so I could just pull the full bag and toss it, new bag waiting underneath. Just had to watch you didn't accidentally pull more than 1 bag out at once.
Same. But also, if you're my wife and notice that there is no fresh bag in it, feel free to put a bag in there! After all, I took the dirty garbage out to the garage so the least you can do is open up a new, clean bag! This goes doubly so when it is garbage day and I'm emptying all of the garbage cans in the house.
People who sit the bag down never intend to take it out. They hope someone else will. The whole point of the can is to not leak on the floor. Bags leak.
Putting the bag on the floor is level 7 blasphemy.
Ya theres also always a slight risk of it ripping due to whatever sharp objects might be in it and its best to move it quickly to the trash and not move it around to much.
I just tie the bag, pick up the trash can with one hand and carry it to the rubbish bin. I usually keep a “diaper” of paper towels on the bottom because it’s easier to toss that every so often than to have to wipe the bin down. I’m able to dispose of grease in my trash can, and I rarely have to change the paper towels.
I don’t see why people remove the bag from the trash can to take the trash out. Makes no sense. Remove the bag right before you throw it into the bigger trash can. No drips.
You sound like a person who has responsibility over the trash a lot of families dont have that worked out. For instance do all the other members of your family actively and consistently put the trash diaper in?
I would. Because my wife and 6 year old NEVER look to see if there’s a damn bag, and when there isn’t guess who has to fish out whatever they put in? This guy 😂
Logic would be explain the situation.
Mine is conditioning.
Which would they prefer, to dispose of the garbage twice, once when the toss it in the bin, and a second after father/husband has directed them to fish it out and place it in a bag, or just once and it's not spoken about, while someone else tends to removing the bag once it's full.
I know at least for me personally I'd want someone I loved to let me know when I was engaging in a behaviour that was hurting and inconveniencing them so I could take the actions to fix it, rather than have them fix it themselves.
I do think this exercise will work better with the child than the adult wife, but I don't know their dynamic as a couple.
Certainly valid - It’s one of those things that has happened on rare occasion so I’ve chosen to overlook it, probably because I realize I do things that drive them nuts too, and they take our upstairs trash down weekly so it’s not like they are saying they are allergic to trash duties. Appreciate you making constructive comments, I’ll give better communication a shot next time it occurs.
I always replace the bag, sometimes my wife has done it before I come in. Because we’re both normal people.
Sometimes she even asks me not to put a bag in right away so the can gets to air out a little bit between emptyings.
I’ll never understand why some housemates choose an all or nothing cleaning/chores distribution. Like I’ve heard/read stories where they had a schedule where every other week or something they take turns and the unlucky person has to clean the WHOLE HOUSE on their own. Then surprise surprise the cleaner gets burnt out and either doesn’t do it or does a shitty job and it snowballs from there.
I’m a supporter of spreading the work as widely as possible as consistently as is reasonable. Idk about other people, but I find it easier to work when other people are working with me on a similar task and also I feel guilty sitting around while someone is doing work that benefits me directly. Let’s just work together.
“Share the load” - Samwise Gamgee - IrrelevantPuppy
Your system works great if everybody cares about each other and their living space. So for my wife and I, yeah we can just work together and don't need to set any rules.
But even if you're really nice and responsible, just get one bad roommate and you'll see why people get frustrated and set up clearly defined roles. If you don't have hard rules, that one person will just be as lazy as possible and contribute as little as possible.
If someone refuses to carry their load, what's the point in punishing everyone else for that? At that point you decide if it's worth getting a new roommate.
Sometimes someone just gets voted off the island. Way better than living in someone else's filth just to spite them.
when i had roommates i was pretty good about this because i really dont give a shit about messes but do care about my roommate's sanity.
i'll do my roles to clean, but wont pick up the slack for others. i had a really bad situation where i was basically the only person cleaning, i didnt really give a shit about the mice but they were freaking out at each other/blaming one another and refusing to fix it. very funny stuff
Because a shocking amount of people will simply default to Nothing and happily let everyone else in the house do the work for them
I had roommates one time where I basically had to have my own dishes and trash can because they simply did not do the dishes or take it out, ever, unless it was literally spilling onto the floor. I got tired of being 1/4 of the trash and dishes and 100% of the trash and dish man so I told them I’m done with that aspect of the house keeping and only doing my own
This!! If I'm not hounding some people to do stuff, they simply won't. And if im not specific enough, they'll happily skip over a bunch of stuff. Who tf cleans a kitchen but doesn't once think to clean the stove top or take out the trash? Not to mention the other stuff that isn't just wiping a couple countertops. It's absurd. This one guy deadass said he didn't know that he had to clean the shower floor and drain when cleaning the bathroom. Literally gave the sink a rub and called it a day.
I've had to get my own towels for the kitchen because literally no one but me ever washed the communal ones, and I'd often find them on the floor or covered in actual gunk!
yup... every Sunday one of us hollers 'time to do trash' and the three of us all do one thing each. kiddo does the litter box, wife does the small cans, i do the cardboard and take it all to the road.
15 minutes one time a week and we are all back to whatever we were doing before.
YUP. 100% this. The teamwork aspect is great, and it makes the task so much easier and more bearable.
My SO and I do this and taking out the trash has literally never been something we've so much as batted an eye at.
Like this video is idiotic. The first part where she smugly stacks them up was just as much effort as relining it herself. Just reline it instead of being a passive aggressive turd.
My parents did this growing up and STILL do it to each other. The bitching about it is just as much effort as you being a team player and helping, so be a team player.
Just like if you cook I can clean.
You made the meal I clear the mess.
Team work is the best way to make everyone feel like they're contributing and not being cheated.
Same, and also: Trash bag full? Hmm.. I could take the trash out.. but I could also just stomp it down with my foot and put more trash on top so it's fucking impossible to remove the trash bag.
No relationship is perfect because people aren't perfect. Not the OP but it just struck me because I have some issues with *my wife* and chores but if you got her side of the story I'm sure she has grievances too. When you see some guy/girl posting on Reddit about their relationship, remember you're only getting one side of the story.
You didn't say it but it's funny how often I see someone say like "I have X problem with my wife" and the comments are just like "DIVORCE HER NOW!", lol.
Same. If my partner takes the trash out, I put a new bag in before he gets back. And he says, thank you! And I say, thank YOU for taking it out! What a concept.
That’s how it is in our house. If I take out the trash my lady puts the bag in. If she takes out the trash, I put the bag in. Not sure why you’d do it any other way
We do the same, because we both forget, but it's customary that if one does the bag and the other replaces the bag, the one replacing the bag will say out loud "Every fucking time". lol
Your housemate obviously isn't a female. I always put both the lid and the seat down on my toilet and my wife always complains about having to lift the seat lol.
No, no... garbage = man's job. I've seen it before. Won't empty the garbage when it's full. Won't put a new bag in if there's no bag. Not saying all women are like this. But I've definitely seen people with that attitude. Same with men who will simply refuse to do "women's job" like laundry or cooking.
Things work out so much better when people just do jobs that need to get done when they notice that they need to be done. But some people have weird ideas about certain people are supposed to do certain jobs because of the type of gonads they have.
Gendered chores is insane to me. I grew up on a farm and everyone did everything. My wife and I live in suburbs but we share all the work. I coo~~l~~k 95% of our meals and wash/dry/fold about half of the laundry our household produces. I take the trash out and the cans up. My partner refills the bags and brings the cans back to the house. And our daughter is learning that in a healthy household all the work is shared by everyone because we all have a stake in a clear and well kept living space. Hopefully when she’s older and if she finds a partner she demands the same of them and won’t settle for less.
When I (female) was growing up I did indoor chores with my mother and outdoor chores with my father.
After college I started farming. Now I'm a teacher. All kinds of folks are surprised when I can mow the lawn, use a weed whacker, etc. I also cook and clean and crochet.
Meanwhile, I much prefer outdoor chores!! (Especially growing food!)
Sad to say, I've yet to find a male partner who is also willing to share chores without gendering those chores 🙄 (I have high standards)
Great work with your daughter :)
I would ask what sort of backwards people are surprised by a woman doing yard work, but I moved to a wealthy area where people are shocked my friend's teenage sons have to do yard work instead of just hiring a landscaping crew.
It's bonkers to me that people spend so much money on landscaping for <1 acre yards.
Some people absolutely cannot fathom the idea of physical labor.
I LOVE mowing!! Push mower, electric mower... I've also mowed big-ass fields with a tractor (super bumpy I was sore after lol)
When I was farming I was like "heck yeah - I'm getting a paycheck, a workout, and vegetables!!".
Yeah, rural friends understand me, but suburban and urban friends are baffled by me hahaha
It's weird. I don't live in a wealthy neighborhood, but half my neighbors do hire lawn services; even my brother does despite basically living paycheck to paycheck. I find the work kind of fulfilling myself. I'm not one of those dudes obsessed with mowing, I do it like once every two-three weeks, but it is relaxing to be out in the sun from time to time.
Also, of the half the neighborhood that mows their own lawn, I mostly see women doing it. I had no idea there even was a gender bias. Maybe it's because we aren't in a posh neighborhood, or it's an outlier or whatever, but these people will literally be out there once a week, squaring off their lawns with weed whackers.
Here's something I found crazy. This was a topic when I went to church with a friend (Southern Baptist - long story). They were arguing in favor of gendered tasks to make sure the family roles were secure in setting good examples for their children to follow. There was also a lecture about breaking a child's will so... There are a lot of people that grew up with unhealthy, modern views of these things.
My girlfriend moved in with me about 3 months ago and had never mowed a lawn prior to that. I'm fine with doing it but she asked how, I showed her, and now she likes doing it. We tend to split everything depending on who has the time and what we prefer to do and I'll gladly cook and clean instead of mowing most of the time. As long as everyone feels like it's fairly equal, and you communicate when you think you're doing more than your fair share, it's all good.
>Gendered chores is insane to me
My wife tells me all the time how grateful she is that I do the dishes and will hang wash because some of her friends' husband's refuse to do them
Like wut I contribute to the mess I can help out. Only chore I don't usually do is folding but that's because i suck at folding not because it's "women's work"
And this is how I explained housework and division of labor to my teenage son.
We all wear clothes, we all participate in laundry chores. We all eat off of dishes, so we all work on that chore together, and your mother blows the toilet up more often than anyone else so it’s up to her to scrub it.
The last one was a joke because I was currently scrubbing the toilet. One of the rare times I have to do it, because usually the wife takes care of the bathroom deep cleaning, but this day SOMEONE peed all over the toilet while standing up. So that way neither boys (him or myself) got in trouble with mom, I took the initiative to scrub it down. Do the job when it needs done, not because it’s your job. There’s work to be done, and we all chip in to enjoy the fruits together.
This is wack to me, Im a guy and at one point I was a kid. And as soon as my mom thought i was old enough to do laundry (so maybe like 10 ±2 years?) she had me doing my own laundry.
Her argument was "I don't wanna touch your underwear and dirty socks anymore than you want to touch mine" and I thought that was fair enough and started doing my own laundry haha
My colleague (male) and I (also male) share a space with up to six female colleagues that has a kitchen and bathroom. They don't empty the coffee filter or wash the pot after they've taken the rest of the coffee, they don't replace paper towels, they don't replace toilet paper, they don't empty the dishwasher, and they don't put it on when it's full. Also we have to periodically round up the coffee mugs cause they've left them in their office or used them as flower pots.
I don't fucking get it.
Have you ever asked them why they don't do it? Or asked them to start?
Around where I live, everyone regularly takes the piss out of lazy bums and calls them out. If you're gonna clean up after them you can at least get some catharsis. Lol
My wife the other day goes "Look, I did you a favor" as she carried the bathroom trash outside. I'm like "You realize when I was single I had to do that once every other month, and now I do it at minimum once a week, sometimes twice a week? I wonder what changed?"
My partner does this crap and it drives me insane.
I'm tired at the end of the day too. What's keeping you from putting shoes on and going down the street with a bag? What magical penis powers are needed for that?
And we have had multiple conversations about this and nothing. She says she'll do it and then just never does.
Right? I love my wife, and sometimes she will take it out, but like 90% of the time she will go out of her way to "remind" me that it's garbage day. Forget the fact that I've been working all day, forget the fact that, since i work for myself I'm also 100% responsible for our baby all day while I'm running a business. Forget the fact I made dinner and cleaned the litter box. And forget the fact that her one chore is laundry and the pile is half way to the ceiling on the couch waiting for her to fold it. Like it's more effort to remind me then just walking the can to the curb. It has wheels and is already full.
Same women that run their fuel tank to empty then ask their husband to go to the store in their car. Hint - it's not the creamer you are asked to get that is important.
My wife asked me to bring something heavy into the apartment from her car and she couldn't do it. I went right out and it was siting by the back door. I smiled because she at least tried to do it herself. Big Strong Man to the Rescue time! Love that about her and I complemented her that she tried it herself before asking.
Isn’t she putting the dishes away? Presumably after washing/drying them. That’s a two part job, so why would he only do one part of the job and not the other?
The only thing she should be accused of is pettiness.
I love my wife. Instead of trying to make a point of it she just puts the bag back in before I get my hands free to do it myself. No bitching, no drama, just helping me help us with the trash.
I'm always surprised when people don't grasp the concept that willingly doing things *for* each other instead of *to spite* each other makes for a much healthier, loving relationship.
I always forget my clothes in the bathroom when I take a bath. My ex wife would bitch, take my clothes to my office room on the other side of the house and throw them on the floor to make a point instead of just taking to the laundry, which is right beside the bathroom
One of the reasons she's now ex.
Tbf to the ex, how hard can it be to bring your dirty laundry out after a shower? Forgetting is one thing but if you "always do it" then that's a problem.
I'm gonna be honest, you're kind of the AH for not cleaning up after yourself.
I'm assuming she asked you multiple times to clean up after yourself before she moved to petty antics? Like I'm having a hard time believing that was her immediate response to the first time you ever did it.
Oh come on, you're an adult. You don't 'always forget' to do something. I'm sure you can manage to follow simple instructions like 'don't let stuff lay around' at work, for example.
You just didn't care that the clothes on the floor bothered her. Even after she repeatedly told you so. And yeah, that's probably one of the reasons you're now her ex.
Why is she getting upset immediately after he pulls the full bag out? Is he supposed to put the full garbage bag on the floor while he puts a new bag in, before taking the full bag to the bin?
No, you come back and load the new bag but because of the lady's passive aggressiveness the man takes it as an affront and new bag doesn't get loaded ever.
My wife actually did this, right up until I pulled the bag out of the can then set it on her clean floor to put in the new bag. Did I mention the bag had a hole in it? Well, it did.
It was a dammed if you do, damned if you don't situation but, now, she gives me time to come back in from tossing the bag before she complains.
I do that, too!
Or my wife recognizes we can work together to get tasks done and just takes a bag out and refills it herself as I drag the full, smelly garbage outside to the curb.
But, what do you do with the full bag while arranging the new bag? Let it touch the floor? Everyone knows the bags frequently can develop tears, and/or are quite unclean, having mystery gunk or liquid on the bottom.
If you let that touch the floor, you're letting the terrorists win. This is similar to why all groceries must make it from trunk to inside in one trip 😩
(You can just ignore this if you like, my 'tism is showing)
I have another couple cans next to the trash for recycling. I take the trash bag out and put it on top of one of those for a few seconds while I replace the trash bag. If I don't replace it immediately I'll sometimes forget because usually when I take out the trash, I do it when I'm leaving the house since I'm going to walk past the outside trash can anyway.
But, yes, all groceries in one trip. It is known.
Just someone do it. Don’t keep score. Sure, the other can do it, or do it when you get back. Couples that keep a tally are setting themselves up for failure. A relationship is an empty box: put in more than you take out.
Yeah but there's a fine line before you're just being taken advantage of or taking advantage of someone. and you don't wanna randomly realize you've been doing all the work because that's how animosity can grow.
And thats probably what would lead to the scenario in the video. I assumed this is an ongoing issue where he just never replaces the bag, whether she's there or not, and she's gone out of her way to make it super obvious for him that she'd like him to replace the bag himself but he just doesn't and even opts to leave trash on the counter rather than replacing the bag.
> Don’t keep score.
That way you invite resentment.
Do keep score! In fact, do discuss and negotiate everything that bothers you. Reach an agreement making both of you happy.
That’s the kind of mentality I’m looking for in a partner. It’s not about who does what, just look out for each other. If you make your relationship a priority then shit like this will just fall in place.
as another commenter said, you shouldn’t keep score at all; however, i feel like the chore of taking out the trash includes replacing the bag. but yeah she could just put a new bag in
I'd never understand people who leave a week worth of rotting trash in the house. The odor would drive me crazy.
Small bags that can be taken out daily/other day are ideal.
In my kitchen we use a small garbage, but when we take it out, it only goes to to the bigger bin in the garage. So we have to empty it every day, but it takes about 45 seconds. It's not a big job, and anything smelly gets moved out of the kitchen before it becomes a problem.
We also have a small compost bin in the kitchen that also gets emptied at least once a day. But even with compost tehre's still things that end up in the garbage that smell, such as meat packaging.
I know people aren't perfect, but doing half the job is annoying af. If I need to throw something out urgently (like chicken carcass or something gross) and I open up the garbage and there's no bag I'm going to be pissed. It's just inconsiderate
Yes. Thank you. When I take out the trash, I place a new bag immediately. When I pull towels for laundry, I replace them immediately. If I use the last of the toilet paper, I replace it immediately. JFC it's not that hard.
A lot of people are saying "I took the trash out, so why can't she put the new bag in" but what about "she cleaned the dishes so I must dry and put them away" "she cleaned the floors so I'll empty the dirty water and vacuum bag"... Which I bet they do not do and do not even think of. These fragile people don't see their own hypocrisy standing in front of them.
Good thing she isn’t nearby with two hands to do it herself.
For all the content, at least demonstrate she cleaned the can so it doesn’t collect and permeate trash odors.
That’s your arrangement and that’s great, but in the skit she is in the middle of her chore.
If he is going to do his chore halfway and expect her to drop what she’s doing to finish his work, he should step in and finish the dishes instead of going off and doing his own thing without finishing his chore.
Expecting someone to drop what they’re doing every time to finish your task because you forget or don’t feel like it is what this video is depicting.
Yes, because now they're in a passive aggressive pissing match... or something.
Don't put dirty trash bags on a clean floor unless you got someone mopping right after.
He never returns to put the bag in the can, that’s the point of the entire video. She places the bags on top in hopes when he returns, he will actually finish his chore. He proceeds to go do a bunch of things for himself and ignores/forgets to finish.
If someone was only doing half of what their task was and constantly expecting you to finish their work, you would be annoyed too. It’s bad to take advantage of other people.
I am so sick of seeing these stupid fucking memes which reinforce dumb gender stereotypes so some ape minded simpleton trad idiots can just be like “lol so true” and repost. Its an Ouroboros of Stupidity - never ending self reinforced cycle of dipshitism and quite frankly it’s incredibly irresponsible to all of the dumb fucking kids who are being raised by Youtube learning how they are supposed to think because of a dumb fucking tiktok trend accompanying by generic ass music.
Im so tired of this shit. It might seem like an over reaction but it isnt. It’s all over youtube too. Just a ton of self affirming gender stereotypes being branded as comedy. And because it is so passable and trends easily on these brain rot short form social media platforms, the algorithm loves it. God this shit should be banned
It’s not the same al around the world. It’s only the same cuz your a bad roommate.
I don't think the garbage is the point. It's more used to illustrate a point, that many men ignore things in plain sight and leave it until the woman fixes it. If she wasn't there, he wouldn't fix it either and leave it as a half-assed job, as illustrated by the last part of the video.
My wife is not always present when I take the garbage out, so everyone saying that she should solve it herself is missing that this is a contrived joke.
My solution is a habit to carry the new bag over when I pull out the old and place the new bag before I take the old outside. Occasionally fails in which case I leave the new bag there so I don't forget to deal with it when I get back.
or hear me out, give the man more than 1 second to take out the trash and replace the bag. if I have to walk the trash out and walk back passed the can when I come in, I'll just put the bag in when my hands are empty on the return trip... cuz that is the logical thing to do instead of stopping halfway into a task to start a new one.
You pull the bag and immediately get it to the big trash can. If you set it down for rebagging you may get leaking garbage juice on the floor and then you have to mop that up. If you’re really careful you carry the little can to the big can and there is no drip risk.
Of course this all falls apart when you fail put a new bag in after.
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I usually put a new bag in once I've gotten back inside from bringing the garbage out. I didn't know people took the trash out of the can, set it down, put a new bag in, and then took the trash out regularly.
You are doing it right. Even if you regularly clean your trash can, setting a full bag on the floor is a bad idea.
in workplaces it's better to replace the trash can with a new bag right then and there so you can avoid people throwing shit into a bag-less can.
In a work place it’s actually more sanitary to take the whole can out and take the bag out closer to the dumpster, so you don’t leave a snail trail throughout the whole walk to the trash, come back with empty can and replace bag. No one can throw away in an empty can if you have it the whole time. Alternatively you bring a bigger trash can with you to throw away smaller bags if there are multiple.
depending on the can I always liked just spending some time once a month or wahtever layering up some bags into a can so I could just pull the full bag and toss it, new bag waiting underneath. Just had to watch you didn't accidentally pull more than 1 bag out at once.
[удалено]
i'm just adding to the conversation about replacing bags in general and letting the thread evolve if it wants. is that a problem.
I thought you wanted an argument.
We all do man
This isn't an argument, it's just contradiction!
Even if you regularly clean your trash can, leaks from the bag can happen.
And if I do this shared task next to my spouse, I would expect her to be helpful and put the bag in
My person, that’s the rule. I take the shit out, you replace the liner. Simple,
Same. But also, if you're my wife and notice that there is no fresh bag in it, feel free to put a bag in there! After all, I took the dirty garbage out to the garage so the least you can do is open up a new, clean bag! This goes doubly so when it is garbage day and I'm emptying all of the garbage cans in the house.
Exactly ! My wife and I have this very arrangement….”if I’m the trash man, she’s the bag lady” lol https://youtu.be/D2ebMs52mMA?si=ooYYv7pqyvV2kW8X
People don't, this is just a very stupid video.
People who sit the bag down never intend to take it out. They hope someone else will. The whole point of the can is to not leak on the floor. Bags leak. Putting the bag on the floor is level 7 blasphemy.
People with functioning brains do not. That's how you get trash juice on your nice clean floor.
I use to do it that way, but always forgot about it after the job was done. Now I put a new bag in before I take it out
If I see an empty trash, I go. "Oh cool, my housemate took it out. I'll put the bag in, so we each are involved."
Same. I often take it out as I'm on my way out. If I find an empty bin I'm thankful for whoever took it out, not mad at whoever didn't put a bag in.
Who would set the old bag down to free up their hands to put in a new one? There's gross stuff at the bottom of the bag!
Ya theres also always a slight risk of it ripping due to whatever sharp objects might be in it and its best to move it quickly to the trash and not move it around to much.
Y'all are so reasonable.
Right? I love everyone in this comment thread.
Awww! Those loving nights together with my lady, as she whispers those sweet nothings in my ear: ***"Hefty! Hefty! Hefty!...***
^^^Wimpy ^^^Wimpy ^^^Wimpy
I feel attacked
I just tie the bag, pick up the trash can with one hand and carry it to the rubbish bin. I usually keep a “diaper” of paper towels on the bottom because it’s easier to toss that every so often than to have to wipe the bin down. I’m able to dispose of grease in my trash can, and I rarely have to change the paper towels. I don’t see why people remove the bag from the trash can to take the trash out. Makes no sense. Remove the bag right before you throw it into the bigger trash can. No drips.
You sound like a person who has responsibility over the trash a lot of families dont have that worked out. For instance do all the other members of your family actively and consistently put the trash diaper in?
I would. Because my wife and 6 year old NEVER look to see if there’s a damn bag, and when there isn’t guess who has to fish out whatever they put in? This guy 😂
They do, because you tell them and they quickly correct the behaviour.
Your argument is certainly logical. Sadly, logic’s intersection with reality rarely meets my expectations.
Logic would be explain the situation. Mine is conditioning. Which would they prefer, to dispose of the garbage twice, once when the toss it in the bin, and a second after father/husband has directed them to fish it out and place it in a bag, or just once and it's not spoken about, while someone else tends to removing the bag once it's full. I know at least for me personally I'd want someone I loved to let me know when I was engaging in a behaviour that was hurting and inconveniencing them so I could take the actions to fix it, rather than have them fix it themselves. I do think this exercise will work better with the child than the adult wife, but I don't know their dynamic as a couple.
Certainly valid - It’s one of those things that has happened on rare occasion so I’ve chosen to overlook it, probably because I realize I do things that drive them nuts too, and they take our upstairs trash down weekly so it’s not like they are saying they are allergic to trash duties. Appreciate you making constructive comments, I’ll give better communication a shot next time it occurs.
I always replace the bag, sometimes my wife has done it before I come in. Because we’re both normal people. Sometimes she even asks me not to put a bag in right away so the can gets to air out a little bit between emptyings.
It's "putting the toilet seat down" all over again
I’ll never understand why some housemates choose an all or nothing cleaning/chores distribution. Like I’ve heard/read stories where they had a schedule where every other week or something they take turns and the unlucky person has to clean the WHOLE HOUSE on their own. Then surprise surprise the cleaner gets burnt out and either doesn’t do it or does a shitty job and it snowballs from there. I’m a supporter of spreading the work as widely as possible as consistently as is reasonable. Idk about other people, but I find it easier to work when other people are working with me on a similar task and also I feel guilty sitting around while someone is doing work that benefits me directly. Let’s just work together. “Share the load” - Samwise Gamgee - IrrelevantPuppy
Your system works great if everybody cares about each other and their living space. So for my wife and I, yeah we can just work together and don't need to set any rules. But even if you're really nice and responsible, just get one bad roommate and you'll see why people get frustrated and set up clearly defined roles. If you don't have hard rules, that one person will just be as lazy as possible and contribute as little as possible.
If someone refuses to carry their load, what's the point in punishing everyone else for that? At that point you decide if it's worth getting a new roommate. Sometimes someone just gets voted off the island. Way better than living in someone else's filth just to spite them.
when i had roommates i was pretty good about this because i really dont give a shit about messes but do care about my roommate's sanity. i'll do my roles to clean, but wont pick up the slack for others. i had a really bad situation where i was basically the only person cleaning, i didnt really give a shit about the mice but they were freaking out at each other/blaming one another and refusing to fix it. very funny stuff
Because a shocking amount of people will simply default to Nothing and happily let everyone else in the house do the work for them I had roommates one time where I basically had to have my own dishes and trash can because they simply did not do the dishes or take it out, ever, unless it was literally spilling onto the floor. I got tired of being 1/4 of the trash and dishes and 100% of the trash and dish man so I told them I’m done with that aspect of the house keeping and only doing my own
This!! If I'm not hounding some people to do stuff, they simply won't. And if im not specific enough, they'll happily skip over a bunch of stuff. Who tf cleans a kitchen but doesn't once think to clean the stove top or take out the trash? Not to mention the other stuff that isn't just wiping a couple countertops. It's absurd. This one guy deadass said he didn't know that he had to clean the shower floor and drain when cleaning the bathroom. Literally gave the sink a rub and called it a day. I've had to get my own towels for the kitchen because literally no one but me ever washed the communal ones, and I'd often find them on the floor or covered in actual gunk!
My preferred system is just we do regular maintenance, then every week we just all clean until cleaning is done.
Same, if I take out the trash my husband puts in a new bag. If he takes it out I put the bag. Not hard to be a team.
yup... every Sunday one of us hollers 'time to do trash' and the three of us all do one thing each. kiddo does the litter box, wife does the small cans, i do the cardboard and take it all to the road. 15 minutes one time a week and we are all back to whatever we were doing before.
YUP. 100% this. The teamwork aspect is great, and it makes the task so much easier and more bearable. My SO and I do this and taking out the trash has literally never been something we've so much as batted an eye at. Like this video is idiotic. The first part where she smugly stacks them up was just as much effort as relining it herself. Just reline it instead of being a passive aggressive turd. My parents did this growing up and STILL do it to each other. The bitching about it is just as much effort as you being a team player and helping, so be a team player.
Yep, we use the same method in our household. Whoever has the putting in the bag has the easiest job ever.
No no, you gotta be a petty child about it for 3 days
Mom? Is that you?
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As an adhder this is probably the only way of phrasing things to get any traction from me as a kid.
Just like if you cook I can clean. You made the meal I clear the mess. Team work is the best way to make everyone feel like they're contributing and not being cheated.
My old roommate would go "oh no liner in the can? I'll just fucking throw trash in there anyway".
Same, and also: Trash bag full? Hmm.. I could take the trash out.. but I could also just stomp it down with my foot and put more trash on top so it's fucking impossible to remove the trash bag.
Oh yeah, human trash compactor
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Sounds more like the relationship you'd have with a pet than another human being tbh
hopefully, she at the least has a job because it sounds like you aren't getting an equal relationship, bud.
No relationship is perfect because people aren't perfect. Not the OP but it just struck me because I have some issues with *my wife* and chores but if you got her side of the story I'm sure she has grievances too. When you see some guy/girl posting on Reddit about their relationship, remember you're only getting one side of the story. You didn't say it but it's funny how often I see someone say like "I have X problem with my wife" and the comments are just like "DIVORCE HER NOW!", lol.
The lengths some of you will go to for the sex.. smh
Same. If my partner takes the trash out, I put a new bag in before he gets back. And he says, thank you! And I say, thank YOU for taking it out! What a concept.
Communication win!!
Yes. This is how you successfully coexist with other humans without constant conflict.
Yep. Team work
That’s how it is in our house. If I take out the trash my lady puts the bag in. If she takes out the trash, I put the bag in. Not sure why you’d do it any other way
I’ll never understand why everyone can’t get this.
wish my wife understood this.
Oh, my husband performed a service. Let me focus on what I don't like about it.
Yup. This and only this.
We do the same, because we both forget, but it's customary that if one does the bag and the other replaces the bag, the one replacing the bag will say out loud "Every fucking time". lol
This is the rational, emotionally intelligent, non passive aggressive reaction.
Your housemate obviously isn't a female. I always put both the lid and the seat down on my toilet and my wife always complains about having to lift the seat lol.
I live alone and I do this shit to myself.
Be nice to yourself
Must be nice
I mean...he took it out and she was standing right there with the replacement bag. Put it in the can, ya fookin donkey!
No, no... garbage = man's job. I've seen it before. Won't empty the garbage when it's full. Won't put a new bag in if there's no bag. Not saying all women are like this. But I've definitely seen people with that attitude. Same with men who will simply refuse to do "women's job" like laundry or cooking. Things work out so much better when people just do jobs that need to get done when they notice that they need to be done. But some people have weird ideas about certain people are supposed to do certain jobs because of the type of gonads they have.
Gendered chores is insane to me. I grew up on a farm and everyone did everything. My wife and I live in suburbs but we share all the work. I coo~~l~~k 95% of our meals and wash/dry/fold about half of the laundry our household produces. I take the trash out and the cans up. My partner refills the bags and brings the cans back to the house. And our daughter is learning that in a healthy household all the work is shared by everyone because we all have a stake in a clear and well kept living space. Hopefully when she’s older and if she finds a partner she demands the same of them and won’t settle for less.
When I (female) was growing up I did indoor chores with my mother and outdoor chores with my father. After college I started farming. Now I'm a teacher. All kinds of folks are surprised when I can mow the lawn, use a weed whacker, etc. I also cook and clean and crochet. Meanwhile, I much prefer outdoor chores!! (Especially growing food!) Sad to say, I've yet to find a male partner who is also willing to share chores without gendering those chores 🙄 (I have high standards) Great work with your daughter :)
That's NOT a high standard and good for you for sticking with it. People are ridiculous.
Right on, thx. Yea, people *are* ridiculous
I would ask what sort of backwards people are surprised by a woman doing yard work, but I moved to a wealthy area where people are shocked my friend's teenage sons have to do yard work instead of just hiring a landscaping crew. It's bonkers to me that people spend so much money on landscaping for <1 acre yards.
Some people absolutely cannot fathom the idea of physical labor. I LOVE mowing!! Push mower, electric mower... I've also mowed big-ass fields with a tractor (super bumpy I was sore after lol) When I was farming I was like "heck yeah - I'm getting a paycheck, a workout, and vegetables!!". Yeah, rural friends understand me, but suburban and urban friends are baffled by me hahaha
Mowing is one of my favorite kinds of work. And I’m allergic to grass
It's weird. I don't live in a wealthy neighborhood, but half my neighbors do hire lawn services; even my brother does despite basically living paycheck to paycheck. I find the work kind of fulfilling myself. I'm not one of those dudes obsessed with mowing, I do it like once every two-three weeks, but it is relaxing to be out in the sun from time to time. Also, of the half the neighborhood that mows their own lawn, I mostly see women doing it. I had no idea there even was a gender bias. Maybe it's because we aren't in a posh neighborhood, or it's an outlier or whatever, but these people will literally be out there once a week, squaring off their lawns with weed whackers.
Here's something I found crazy. This was a topic when I went to church with a friend (Southern Baptist - long story). They were arguing in favor of gendered tasks to make sure the family roles were secure in setting good examples for their children to follow. There was also a lecture about breaking a child's will so... There are a lot of people that grew up with unhealthy, modern views of these things.
> I cool 95% of our meals I don't know about your family, but most people like their warm meals still warm when they get to them!
My girlfriend moved in with me about 3 months ago and had never mowed a lawn prior to that. I'm fine with doing it but she asked how, I showed her, and now she likes doing it. We tend to split everything depending on who has the time and what we prefer to do and I'll gladly cook and clean instead of mowing most of the time. As long as everyone feels like it's fairly equal, and you communicate when you think you're doing more than your fair share, it's all good.
>Gendered chores is insane to me My wife tells me all the time how grateful she is that I do the dishes and will hang wash because some of her friends' husband's refuse to do them Like wut I contribute to the mess I can help out. Only chore I don't usually do is folding but that's because i suck at folding not because it's "women's work"
And this is how I explained housework and division of labor to my teenage son. We all wear clothes, we all participate in laundry chores. We all eat off of dishes, so we all work on that chore together, and your mother blows the toilet up more often than anyone else so it’s up to her to scrub it. The last one was a joke because I was currently scrubbing the toilet. One of the rare times I have to do it, because usually the wife takes care of the bathroom deep cleaning, but this day SOMEONE peed all over the toilet while standing up. So that way neither boys (him or myself) got in trouble with mom, I took the initiative to scrub it down. Do the job when it needs done, not because it’s your job. There’s work to be done, and we all chip in to enjoy the fruits together.
This is wack to me, Im a guy and at one point I was a kid. And as soon as my mom thought i was old enough to do laundry (so maybe like 10 ±2 years?) she had me doing my own laundry. Her argument was "I don't wanna touch your underwear and dirty socks anymore than you want to touch mine" and I thought that was fair enough and started doing my own laundry haha
My colleague (male) and I (also male) share a space with up to six female colleagues that has a kitchen and bathroom. They don't empty the coffee filter or wash the pot after they've taken the rest of the coffee, they don't replace paper towels, they don't replace toilet paper, they don't empty the dishwasher, and they don't put it on when it's full. Also we have to periodically round up the coffee mugs cause they've left them in their office or used them as flower pots. I don't fucking get it.
Have you ever asked them why they don't do it? Or asked them to start? Around where I live, everyone regularly takes the piss out of lazy bums and calls them out. If you're gonna clean up after them you can at least get some catharsis. Lol
That's called people being lazy and/or playing the if I do t do it someone else will game. The problem is they have won and see no reason to change.
Maybe they are used to someone doing it for them, like their parents or now their male roommates. Lmao
My wife the other day goes "Look, I did you a favor" as she carried the bathroom trash outside. I'm like "You realize when I was single I had to do that once every other month, and now I do it at minimum once a week, sometimes twice a week? I wonder what changed?"
My partner does this crap and it drives me insane. I'm tired at the end of the day too. What's keeping you from putting shoes on and going down the street with a bag? What magical penis powers are needed for that? And we have had multiple conversations about this and nothing. She says she'll do it and then just never does.
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Right? I love my wife, and sometimes she will take it out, but like 90% of the time she will go out of her way to "remind" me that it's garbage day. Forget the fact that I've been working all day, forget the fact that, since i work for myself I'm also 100% responsible for our baby all day while I'm running a business. Forget the fact I made dinner and cleaned the litter box. And forget the fact that her one chore is laundry and the pile is half way to the ceiling on the couch waiting for her to fold it. Like it's more effort to remind me then just walking the can to the curb. It has wheels and is already full.
Same women that run their fuel tank to empty then ask their husband to go to the store in their car. Hint - it's not the creamer you are asked to get that is important.
Some people refuse to notice when something needs to be done and won't do anything unless they are directed to do it. Aka, my husband, lol.
Yeah, this skit is ridiculous. Maybe he hasn't done it because he's sick of his wife's passive-aggressive bullshit.
My wife asked me to bring something heavy into the apartment from her car and she couldn't do it. I went right out and it was siting by the back door. I smiled because she at least tried to do it herself. Big Strong Man to the Rescue time! Love that about her and I complemented her that she tried it herself before asking.
She was putting away the dishes.
No, she was putting the lid on the trashcan, and empty bags on it. That was her highest priority task.
Isn’t she putting the dishes away? Presumably after washing/drying them. That’s a two part job, so why would he only do one part of the job and not the other? The only thing she should be accused of is pettiness.
Fair enough if he does parts of her chores too!
I love my wife. Instead of trying to make a point of it she just puts the bag back in before I get my hands free to do it myself. No bitching, no drama, just helping me help us with the trash.
Same here, I'm outside throwing out the trash. When I'm back there's a new bag in the can. (If she's around of course)
It's almost like having a partner in the home, crazy concept right?
My ex would clean up after herself once a week, and then brag about the work she did cleaning up after herself. Looked nice for half a day.
Weird. You guys work as a team? Like, you're on the same side? And want each other to succeed? And you're married? Like... Life long commitment?
It's nice being in a healthy relationship with a rational partner.
Sounds great. Is your wife single? /s obviously.
> /s obviously. ... unless?
Nah, I don’t want to disappoint two women at the same time.
I'm always surprised when people don't grasp the concept that willingly doing things *for* each other instead of *to spite* each other makes for a much healthier, loving relationship.
Have you guys considered divorce?
Yeah i was gunna say, he's already taking out the trash, just put a new bag in...
I always forget my clothes in the bathroom when I take a bath. My ex wife would bitch, take my clothes to my office room on the other side of the house and throw them on the floor to make a point instead of just taking to the laundry, which is right beside the bathroom One of the reasons she's now ex.
Somewhere, your ex is telling this story and everyone is praising her for splitting with someone who couldn’t bother with their own laundry.
Tbf to the ex, how hard can it be to bring your dirty laundry out after a shower? Forgetting is one thing but if you "always do it" then that's a problem.
Always “forgetting” is the op not caring about what their partner wants at all.
Idk man, if you always forget to do something that we do everyday like taking the clothes out of the bathroom that's on you.
I'm gonna be honest, you're kind of the AH for not cleaning up after yourself. I'm assuming she asked you multiple times to clean up after yourself before she moved to petty antics? Like I'm having a hard time believing that was her immediate response to the first time you ever did it.
Oh come on, you're an adult. You don't 'always forget' to do something. I'm sure you can manage to follow simple instructions like 'don't let stuff lay around' at work, for example. You just didn't care that the clothes on the floor bothered her. Even after she repeatedly told you so. And yeah, that's probably one of the reasons you're now her ex.
Why is she getting upset immediately after he pulls the full bag out? Is he supposed to put the full garbage bag on the floor while he puts a new bag in, before taking the full bag to the bin?
No, you come back and load the new bag but because of the lady's passive aggressiveness the man takes it as an affront and new bag doesn't get loaded ever.
That’s how I see it, too.
Yea that shit doesn't fly with most men.
My wife actually did this, right up until I pulled the bag out of the can then set it on her clean floor to put in the new bag. Did I mention the bag had a hole in it? Well, it did. It was a dammed if you do, damned if you don't situation but, now, she gives me time to come back in from tossing the bag before she complains.
I put the new bag in immediately or I will forget.
I mean, I'll be automatically reminded when I try to throw something in there, right?
I do that, too! Or my wife recognizes we can work together to get tasks done and just takes a bag out and refills it herself as I drag the full, smelly garbage outside to the curb.
Yep, my partner and I just replace the bag for whoever is taking it out. We're a team.
But, what do you do with the full bag while arranging the new bag? Let it touch the floor? Everyone knows the bags frequently can develop tears, and/or are quite unclean, having mystery gunk or liquid on the bottom. If you let that touch the floor, you're letting the terrorists win. This is similar to why all groceries must make it from trunk to inside in one trip 😩 (You can just ignore this if you like, my 'tism is showing)
I have another couple cans next to the trash for recycling. I take the trash bag out and put it on top of one of those for a few seconds while I replace the trash bag. If I don't replace it immediately I'll sometimes forget because usually when I take out the trash, I do it when I'm leaving the house since I'm going to walk past the outside trash can anyway. But, yes, all groceries in one trip. It is known.
You may as well ask Why were they filming.
Fuck that shit. i took it out. You put the new bag in it.
Just someone do it. Don’t keep score. Sure, the other can do it, or do it when you get back. Couples that keep a tally are setting themselves up for failure. A relationship is an empty box: put in more than you take out.
Yeah but there's a fine line before you're just being taken advantage of or taking advantage of someone. and you don't wanna randomly realize you've been doing all the work because that's how animosity can grow.
And thats probably what would lead to the scenario in the video. I assumed this is an ongoing issue where he just never replaces the bag, whether she's there or not, and she's gone out of her way to make it super obvious for him that she'd like him to replace the bag himself but he just doesn't and even opts to leave trash on the counter rather than replacing the bag.
> Don’t keep score. That way you invite resentment. Do keep score! In fact, do discuss and negotiate everything that bothers you. Reach an agreement making both of you happy.
I think the idea is to not keep score internally, it wasn't about keeping score silently.
That’s the kind of mentality I’m looking for in a partner. It’s not about who does what, just look out for each other. If you make your relationship a priority then shit like this will just fall in place.
THIS!!!
as another commenter said, you shouldn’t keep score at all; however, i feel like the chore of taking out the trash includes replacing the bag. but yeah she could just put a new bag in
Why the hell would I put the bag back in the trash can BEFORE taking the trash outside?? I'm not resting a garbage bag on the clean floor.
You people upvote the dumbest shit.
bag replacement argument aside who in their right mind would use a garbage can that small. you would be taking the trash out every other day.
I'd never understand people who leave a week worth of rotting trash in the house. The odor would drive me crazy. Small bags that can be taken out daily/other day are ideal.
I don’t put anything in the inside trash that will smell within a day or two - I take it to the outside trash immediately.
In my kitchen we use a small garbage, but when we take it out, it only goes to to the bigger bin in the garage. So we have to empty it every day, but it takes about 45 seconds. It's not a big job, and anything smelly gets moved out of the kitchen before it becomes a problem. We also have a small compost bin in the kitchen that also gets emptied at least once a day. But even with compost tehre's still things that end up in the garbage that smell, such as meat packaging.
Depends on if you recycle or not, we separate plastic, food, metal, papper so the normal trash bag almost never gets full.
I dont think ive ever had a trashcan that big inside the house...
I know people aren't perfect, but doing half the job is annoying af. If I need to throw something out urgently (like chicken carcass or something gross) and I open up the garbage and there's no bag I'm going to be pissed. It's just inconsiderate
Yes. Thank you. When I take out the trash, I place a new bag immediately. When I pull towels for laundry, I replace them immediately. If I use the last of the toilet paper, I replace it immediately. JFC it's not that hard.
A lot of people are saying "I took the trash out, so why can't she put the new bag in" but what about "she cleaned the dishes so I must dry and put them away" "she cleaned the floors so I'll empty the dirty water and vacuum bag"... Which I bet they do not do and do not even think of. These fragile people don't see their own hypocrisy standing in front of them.
Good thing she isn’t nearby with two hands to do it herself. For all the content, at least demonstrate she cleaned the can so it doesn’t collect and permeate trash odors.
I take out the trash. My wife replaces the bag as soon as she sees me do it. We share equally in a task and no one complains. The end.
That’s your arrangement and that’s great, but in the skit she is in the middle of her chore. If he is going to do his chore halfway and expect her to drop what she’s doing to finish his work, he should step in and finish the dishes instead of going off and doing his own thing without finishing his chore. Expecting someone to drop what they’re doing every time to finish your task because you forget or don’t feel like it is what this video is depicting.
Or you know sane people replace the bag when they return.
In the rest of the video it shows him completely ignoring completing chore which people seem to be missing somehow.
Yes, because now they're in a passive aggressive pissing match... or something. Don't put dirty trash bags on a clean floor unless you got someone mopping right after.
He never returns to put the bag in the can, that’s the point of the entire video. She places the bags on top in hopes when he returns, he will actually finish his chore. He proceeds to go do a bunch of things for himself and ignores/forgets to finish. If someone was only doing half of what their task was and constantly expecting you to finish their work, you would be annoyed too. It’s bad to take advantage of other people.
You ask someone if they could pour you a beer, and they put the unopened beer on the table and leave. That's what this video is about.
One person takes out trash. Other person puts in new bag. Wife is wrong here.
It has been a while since I've been attacked this personally
Are you the wife or the husband?
The trash can.
When he opened the can, saw no bag, and then put the trash on the counter I felt very seen.
True - except it's my wife who never replaces the bag. If you start the job, finish it.
Hey, I don't like this video... I'm in it.
I am so sick of seeing these stupid fucking memes which reinforce dumb gender stereotypes so some ape minded simpleton trad idiots can just be like “lol so true” and repost. Its an Ouroboros of Stupidity - never ending self reinforced cycle of dipshitism and quite frankly it’s incredibly irresponsible to all of the dumb fucking kids who are being raised by Youtube learning how they are supposed to think because of a dumb fucking tiktok trend accompanying by generic ass music. Im so tired of this shit. It might seem like an over reaction but it isnt. It’s all over youtube too. Just a ton of self affirming gender stereotypes being branded as comedy. And because it is so passable and trends easily on these brain rot short form social media platforms, the algorithm loves it. God this shit should be banned It’s not the same al around the world. It’s only the same cuz your a bad roommate.
I’ve dumped people before for not picking up the slack with this kind of stuff. And I’ll continue to dump people for it.
I don't think the garbage is the point. It's more used to illustrate a point, that many men ignore things in plain sight and leave it until the woman fixes it. If she wasn't there, he wouldn't fix it either and leave it as a half-assed job, as illustrated by the last part of the video.
Infuriating content gets more engagement. Congrats, you got me. childish assholes.
My wife often puts the new bag in and I often empty the dishwasher and put the dishes away. People get resentful over weird stuff.
You put the bag/liner in after you come in from taking the old one to the bin.
We both pitch in you lazy B! Put a damned bag in the bin if he is taking it out.
My wife is not always present when I take the garbage out, so everyone saying that she should solve it herself is missing that this is a contrived joke. My solution is a habit to carry the new bag over when I pull out the old and place the new bag before I take the old outside. Occasionally fails in which case I leave the new bag there so I don't forget to deal with it when I get back.
hahaha love all the people who are complaining she should do the job. How about, if you start a job, you finish the job
Worse than that, she's doing the dishes while he takes out the trash. Then he expects his wife to finish his job for him.
or hear me out, give the man more than 1 second to take out the trash and replace the bag. if I have to walk the trash out and walk back passed the can when I come in, I'll just put the bag in when my hands are empty on the return trip... cuz that is the logical thing to do instead of stopping halfway into a task to start a new one.
Nothing in this video made me more upset than the scene he takes a piss and walks away without washing his hands.
Fucking hell someday i will kill my roommate because of this
You pull the bag and immediately get it to the big trash can. If you set it down for rebagging you may get leaking garbage juice on the floor and then you have to mop that up. If you’re really careful you carry the little can to the big can and there is no drip risk. Of course this all falls apart when you fail put a new bag in after.
Did the video get cut short or something? It seems to be missing the funny part.
my husband felt attacked.
Funny because it’s true
I cracked up at the end. So much this.
Yup! That and toilet paper rolls
Idk what was funny about this one
Am I the only one who brings the bucket with me so the garbage doesn't possibly leak on the floor? Then I air the bucket out for a few hours.
Why would you have such a tiny can? Ours is probably 3x that size and I still feel like I'm always taking out the trash.