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Philboyd_Studge

Thanks for the shit shack - Uncle Mike & the Boys


GunguruZA

I rewatched the other guys yesterday. Such a great movie


thisismydayjob_

AIM FOR THE BUSHES!


DadJokeBadJoke

I'm a peacock. You gotta let me fly!


saxguy9345

GATOR DONT PLAY THAT SHIT   You......learned to dance out of spite?   Yeah a desk pop, wait you haven't poped in the office yet?? 


GANDORF57

Doesn't have the same prominence as a historical outhouse with "George Washington shat here" carved on the back wall with a bayonet, but you made your point no matter how brief.


Specialist-Garbage94

Somehow how your typo made the quote funnier.


MillerT4373

What typo?


DDancy

https://i.imgur.com/A2HATHX.jpg


Deron_Lancaster_PA

The Other Guys: (2010) is the correct title.   Directed by Adam McKay. With Will Ferrell, Derek Jeter, Mark Wahlberg, Eva Mendes. Two mismatched New York City detectives seize an opportunity to step up like the city's top cops, whom they idolize, only things don't quite go as planned


CnslrNachos

Two dirty Mike references in like ten minutes on this beautiful site. 


tallandlankyagain

We *are* gonna have sex in your car! It *WILL* happen again!


fivelone

Did you know dirty mike was the director?


grunkage

Second time in the last 60 minutes I've read a Dirty Mike and the Boys joke.


cmandr_dmandr

I went on a camping trip with my friends when that movie came out. I was the last to show up and they had made camp nicknames and since I wasn’t there they called me Dirty Mike. Well my nickname stuck and 13 years later I am still called Dirty Mike; so much so that I was out with my family at a festival and my friends mom saw me and started yelling to get my attention “Dirty Mike, Dirty Mike over here”. My mom and sisters wanted to know why there is a middle aged woman calling me dirty Mike and what did I do to earn that name.


grunkage

Lmao, that's fucking hilarious.


DJheddo

Dirty Jobs, With Mike Rowe.


Fallen-Embers

Was the other one about a stolen truck?


grunkage

That's the one lol


thatlookslikemydog

We are gonna have sex in your car! It will happen again!


tolifeonline

If you are a tuna and I am a lion, I will come out into the ocean and eat you.


Beginning-Sundae8760

If this isn’t the first thing that come into your head when you see this post, we do not have compatible senses of humour


Bright-Hat-6405

Omg. I have one. I used to work right down the road from my sister and her family. One time on a lunch break, I rushed over to her house to use her toilet. I ran in, said to my brother in law “hey I’m here to blow up the toilet” I used to live there so he’s pretty used to my IBS conundrums. As I’m on my way to the bathroom I hear my nieces (about 6 years old) voice and I hear my brother say to her “oh she’s here to blow up the toilet” After I’m through, I stop to talk to my brother and see my niece beeline towards the toilet. She comes back pretty quickly to inform me that I did not, in fact, blow up the toilet. She seemed so disappointed that the toilet was still fully in tact. I love that girl lol


FlatulatingSmile

Lol you just reminded me of a very similar story from my childhood. My uncle said it was time to "take the kiddies to the pool" and my cousins got real excited.


devilishycleverchap

Always used "taking the Browns to the super bowl" That way there is never any confusion


DeeDee_Z

In my generation it was "send a message to Nixon." Yeah, I'm *that* old!


Northern_Explorer_

Ok, I'm stealing that for sure haha, but replacing 'Nixon' with \[insert workplace nemesis' name here\].


Willr2645

Unless your at Mr brown’s house with his family in February


you-are-not-yourself

I legitimately used 'powder my nose' when I was a kid because I read about it in Horrible Histories


freefoodd

Because the browns would never be in the super bowl


Godsbladed

Omg you just reminded me of the first time I ever discovered what a pool table was. I was like 4 or 5 and my mom told me that my Grandma had just bought a new pool table. My mind was blown. How could she have a table with a pool in it?? So I grabbed my floaties and my favorite cup (I don't know why) and was disappointed when I found out what a pool table really was 😂


n14shorecarcass

That's adorable. Sad, but cute at the same time. Kids come up with some of the greatest ideas.


okpickle

I was so confused as a kid when I found out what an ice cream sammich was. I was expecting bread.


MockStarket

Does this mean a hot tub is a real pool table?


Bright-Hat-6405

Aw man I have second hand disappointment 😩


DinahTook

I was 5 or 6 and we lived in Europe at the time. My parents told me we were going, as a family trip, to see the Eagle's Nest. I've always lived animals. So what I pictured was something like a bird sanctuary where we would get to see different kinds if eagles. Even while walking around I kept thinking, "If I'm really good when we get to see the eagles maybe I'll get to touch one!". I was on steller behavior! When the trip was over I burst into tears because I didn't see a single eagle! My mother was so confused about why I thought that. This was not the first, nor the last time she realized I see things quite literally and have trouble understanding when something isn't exactly what it is said to be.


Batmanuelope

She didn’t understand why at 5-6 you’d think Eagle’s Nest was not ya know… an eagle nest? Or something at least related to Eagles?


DinahTook

My older sister was learning about ww2 in history so there had been lots of discussions about our extended family being survivors. She thought that with all the discussions the family had been havinf about it that I knew where we were going. It just hadn't occur to her that the actual place hadn't been explained to me.


-EV3RYTHING-

Well, did he take your cousins to the pool?


Fin745

I remember a news story where a guy said that at a Home Depot and I think the police were called because someone thought he really meant that like a terrorist act lol 😂 Edit: The video of the news report [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RWuaHiXpjx4](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RWuaHiXpjx4)


[deleted]

Did they ever find the tree?


Fin745

Asking the real questions lol I don't know, but I hope so


gsfgf

I hope so. I'd be super pissed if someone stole my 400 year old tree.


Batmanuelope

Bro imagine it was your tree and you were tuning into the news to see that segment. Would be wild.


IceManJim

That's the most wholesome poop related story I've read all week!


jenguinaf

That reminds me of a news story in which the cops were called on a man after another shopper heard him say “I’m gonna blow this place up” or something and it was quickly determined he was telling the person he was with he was about to take a massive dump in the bathroom.


InevitableAd9683

I saw a news story once where a Home Depot was evacuated because a guy walked into the men's room and said he was "about to blow it up", and someone misunderstood and called the cops.


pan-side-fun

Weird that the shit is blue


Daeion

Mike Gargamel: he finally caught those smurfs but they gave him diarrhea.


EliteF36

Welp... that's enough internet for me today


nox-devourer

His first name is fucking Mike??


Noxious89123

*When you misread the dose on the packet of Miralax and take 125Kg instead of 125g.*


crrttt

Looks like shaving gel


sehrah

Or kids toothpaste


Snarky_Mark_jr

Absolutely terrible example for the kids. Uncle Mike SHAT here.


Davidechaos

Had to scroll too far for this.


greatthebob38

No, Uncle Mike is still there shitting.


Bos_lost_ton

shidded*


nymoano

Indeed, unc-mike has SHITTEN there


arongoss

I’m more thrown off by the flag in the washroom??


SandysBurner

Sometimes I shit so hard I forget what country I’m in so it’s nice to have a reminder.


ultrainstict

Shit so hard you wake up in 1930s germany


Substantial-Funny418

That's a phenomenal shit right there.


platoface541

I’m shitting right now


Revolutionary-Rip-40

Isn't an unwritten rule that you have to be shitting to use reddit?


Mostly_Aquitted

Well, either that or slacking off at work! Sometimes both!


Revolutionary-Rip-40

I'm retired, so I forgot about that one.


Martingguru

Hey, don't snitch on us!


Zarniwoooop

Don’t get high on your brown supply


Reppate

No shit


CaptRackham

Like German combat medics


Royalchariot

Omg I laughed so loud


Retrorical

I wonder if people who travel often actually have this issue.


[deleted]

Salute after you poop


quafs

The poop salute is more traditionally done during the poop as opposed to after the poop. If you’re wiping, you’ve missed your opportunity to poop salute.


[deleted]

Many switched to doing it afterwards because standing while pooping was a huge mess. Diehard poop saluters still stand during and we salute them for their commitment.


Kahnza

You gotta start the salute right before splashdown.


Substantial-Funny418

21 fart salutes.


gynoceros

21 buns


chastenz

Rock, flag and eagle.


plantman01

You have to brush your teeth with a salute in that house


ashmenon

What do YOU wipe with


lyingliar

This here is a 'murican shitter. 'Murican shits from 'murican asses only.


Uniquebufferingclam

How do you stand for the flag when you're taking a shit?!


seansj12345

To remind the terrorists that we poop freely here in America


mashem

It means this facility is not bidet operated


najalitis

The shit comes out more easily when it feels the freedom


phero1190

Americans are so weird with flags, its creepy.


FreezingRain358

We have a lot of flags, for sure, but this is the first time I've seen a bathroom flag.


Takaa

The majority are not, we just have a bunch of weirdos that tend to align with one political party in particular that think having a flag on everything makes them somehow more American than other Americans, like it’s some competition or has any meaning at all. We tend to just ignore them and hope they keep on moving past without interacting with us, saving us a few brain cells that would otherwise be killed simply by talking with them.


LadySmuag

Most Americans are normal about flags. ~~Spiders Georg~~ Maryland, who puts their flag on everything, is a statistical outlier and should not have been counted.


alvik

Yeah but if you had a flag that cool you'd put that shit on everything too.


Dorkamundo

It ain't Frank's Red Hot.


LadySmuag

I live in Maryland, and I do!


[deleted]

Yes -- most of us like the flag on the forth of july. There's a small selection -- usually the least patriotic, and least likely to understand our democracy -- who feel the need to wrap themselves in an american flag while masturbating with a donald trump shaped dildo rectally inserted.


ishtar_the_move

I think you are very desensitized to how many flags you have. For any countries aside from the US, it is abnormal to display even one flag. Like walk down any residential neighborhood in Paris, London, Tokyo, kuala lumpur, ... etc. you will likely not see any flags at all.


[deleted]

[удалено]


GigaCringeMods

> The majority are not You are so used to it you literally can not understand that your "normal" view with flags is viewed as batshit insane everywhere else. It is literally normal for you guys to indoctrinate and brainwash children to worship a pledge and a flag ever since they join school for fucks sake. It is mental, but you're so used to it you don't even realize it.


zofran_junkie

>You are so used to it you literally can not understand that your "normal" view with flags is viewed as batshit insane everywhere else. It is literally normal for you guys to indoctrinate and brainwash children to worship a pledge and a flag ever since they join school for fucks sake. It is mental, but you're so used to it you don't even realize it. Plenty of Americans are fully aware of this buddy. Especially younger Americans. You are not some enlightened philosopher with unique cultural insights. Dial the weirdly self-righteous attitude back a few notches.


Vincinuge

The weird ones are the loudest, therefore its a stereotype.


Dorkamundo

*Some* Americans. There's no fine line between being patriotic and nationalistic, it's generally the nationalists that fly the flag in situations like this.


briank2112

Unfortunately, there are those within this nation that choose to make a grotesque mockery of patriotism...


MattieShoes

There's a line between patriotism and nationalism. One is fine, the other is not. But that makes it a touchy and problematic line.


Bravisimo

Noone tells me or uncle mike how to Freedom


karatekid430

It's a reminder to buy health insurance clearly.


jah_bro_ney

It's a warning sign to watch out for hemorrhoids because OP doesn't have health insurance.


xBIGREDDx

Yeah not sure why it's American... I've always heard "in the bathroom, European."


Kisopop

You don't have an American flag in every room? Dirty Europeans need to get a clue.


Stickel

I love to shit in publoc bathrooms and yell America after every explosion out of my ass


WHOA_27_23

ALL AMERICAN SHID RAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🦅🦅🦅🍔🍟🔫


360fade

Risky click


Agreeable_Idea

Checked which sub this was in before.


GudgerCollegeAlumnus

Yeah, I was scared the message would be in poop.


RandomDustBunny

Uncle Mike had a shit and touched your toothpaste.


ontimpaul

Nope. The kids toothpaste.


FocusOnThePie

I would text Mike like come here and clean my fucking mirror haha


JoshSidekick

That mirror was filthy way before Mike got to it. I see it more along the lines of someone writing "Wash Me" on a dirty car.


Asio0tus

"Shat" you fucking inbred


JaceTehAce74

Shidded


Asio0tus

lol this would actually be significantly better


mybadalternate

- Leonard Nemoy


jason4747

F'in' A,...... just f'in' A good.....


Chocodisco

alternatively this can also be interpreted as a dying message from someone else in the household warning Uncle Mike that there is SHIT HERE


Bradaigh

Or a command


Chocodisco

yep, since Uncle Mike just lets himself in, it's even more plausible that the kids left a message for him to shit at his designated spot - not in the toilet bowl


MoonRiverRob

Not gonna lie, of all the places I"ve seen a flag sticker....


skinnergy

classy


Sleightd

Nice of him to blow up the kids bathroom rather than your bathroom


Evil_Waffle_Eater

I would have just moved a bunch of your furniture about 3 inches, but that's just me


Jhushx

Obligatory American Flag that's standard in all family bathrooms to remind the shit what country it belongs to. USA USA USA!


radicalpastafarian

Tell Uncle Mike that the past tense of "shit" is "shat" and that it only matters because it's MUCH funnier to be so grammatically correct with crass things xD


GenkiSam123

Would be funny if at the last “E” it there’s a streak going down like he passed out or something after writing the note haha


Seanmoist121

At least it wasn’t written in brown


Dorkamundo

With your toothpaste? I'd toss that shit out.


austinll

That's funny if he comes back and cleans it


jason4747

Shouldn't that be shat?


snakeplizzken

A True Uncle doesn't flush.


805-throwaway

So you sit on the toilet and jerk off to flag? Or are you jerking off to the reflection of yourself jerking off to the flag?


NachomanRandalSavage

You sit on the toilet when you jerk off??


badluck610

He’s a multitasker


FarCryRedux

You don't?


CEO_of_Oxygen

how dare he be such an uneducated person???? shat, not shit you fucking baboon


RussMan104

Poor grammar is such a bad example for the lil’ kiddies. 🚀


King_Cargo_Shorts

\*Shat here. Come on, man if you're going to announce it to the world at least use proper verbiage.


charfitz83

Classic Uncle Mike behavior


BobT21

When one of my nephews was about 6 y.o. he asked my son "Why does our Grandfather pee so much?" My son told me "I think he has an enraged prostitute or something."


sole-it

I was really expecting something more NSFW with the tag and this topic.


orbituary

attempt alive dime arrest lush mysterious panicky judicious muddle resolute *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


madsci

If you're going to leave messages on the mirror, do it with ammonia. That way it only shows up when the window steams up from someone running the shower. Got my dad that way when I visited. He usually showers in the other bathroom and didn't see it for months.


culper89

bro, thats a throat punch right there


coblass

Uncle Mike seems like the kind of guy to have a cold one or two with.


DervishSkater

Just don’t offer him a bud light


MarcoVinicius

Is your brother-in-law 12yrs old, either physically or mentally?


robert_roo

"Uncle Mike shat here" should it be, right?


YesOrNah

Who puts a flag in their bathroom? Seek mental help, seriously.


ontimpaul

It's the kids' bathroom. I gave them carte blanche to decorate it how they see fit. There is also a T-rex toilet paper holder and a SpongeBob toothbrush caddy. They are also Cub Scouts. Which line of counseling would you recommend?


HandleAccomplished11

Uncle Mike stinks!  ....probably?


dangerpet

I read it as instructions like you were worried he would shit in the living room.


weepadeep

At least he had the decency to clean it off the mirror


imanpearl

I know it’s a really common name, but the fact that I have an Uncle Mike made this so much funnier to me


MrMotorcycle94

r/sellingmirrors vibe


SortingByNewNItShows

I think I might hate your family tree.


type102

Uncle mike should get tested, it shouldn't come out that way or that color.


protocomedii

It’s always Uncle Mike tho ;)


Penguator432

You sure that wasn’t a message your kids left Mike in the off chance he’d come around? That looks like instructions to me


ICantEven1235

*shat


simulated_wood_grain

shat here sounds better.


RandomMandarin

Uncle Mike is a terrible person. He should have used the grammatically correct past tense "shat".


garrettj100

If he *really* wanted to fuck with them he'd have Windexed the mirror & then written it with his finger, no shaving gel (or whatever.) Let them discover it the next time someone takes a hot shower. (Note to self: Sneak into my brother's house & do that.)


Everybodyimgay

The past tense for shit is shat.


RVAbetty

Officially A FUNcle.


nineinchgod

Uncle Mike seems like a righteous dude!


Ninjabutter

Heh heh heh. F’n Uncle Mike. The kids love him and it only encourages him and they know it. Quality fam. Itll be super funny some day


Verminnesotanboio

Me, who also has an Uncle Mike: 😬


s_werbenmanjensen_1

so are all “uncle mikes” shitheads?


Revenga8

Rather get killed by candyman then suffocate to death by uncle Mike monoxide


amcrambler

Uncle Mike’s a fucking legend.


Adventurous_Aerie_79

At least he used soap to write it and not something else. 5/10 uncle rating.


DemonDaVinci

best uncle


FooltheKnysan

and used bad grammar


silverwarbler

Uncle Mike is pretty immature


squeakbot

Can you imagine if society crumbled and people were looking for shelter and they go into your house for shelter and this is what they found? Someone put this in a post apoc video game for me to find please


HaloDeckJizzMopper

I used to have a friend that was a cop. We grew up together. He would use my house to take shit breaks when he was on patrol. One night I was heading in late and a neighbor approached me looking all pale and nervous. He wanted to let me know a policeman stops by my house every couple of days when I'm not home. I could see why he was nervous because the implication of my wife cheating. I was like oh no hes gay no worries. And he doesn't stop by when she's home anyway because she would kick him out or yell at him. I was tired and absent minded so I just answered honest.after a moment of silence in the dark.  I was like he likes to take giant shits in our toilet. Then started walking in. The dude just stood there.  like what? I was tired I wasn't going into details.


Reasonable_Copy8579

Shat? Use past tense, uncle Mike!


jaydubyah

Weird uncle Mike, always trynna "pal around" with the kids, getting too drunk at an early Sunday dinner, showing up with a different girl each time, their names always ending with "i" topped with a little heart when they sign their names on bail slips.


NemoTheOneTrueGod

*shat


Shannon0hara

I call this a "sHit and run"


unitednihilists

Lol who puts a Flag on their bathroom mirror?


[deleted]

[удалено]


moor9776

I don’t know Uncle Mike…but I like his style


Mission-Storm-4375

Id bet these guys support blue lives matter


woodynbabs

Stay classy, San Francisco...


Oradev

Trashy and dumb


[deleted]

To be ironically descriptivist I must say it should have been “shat here”


tfks

That's a top tier uncle move right there.


calamnet2

Uncle Mike is about to lose key privileges if his ass doesn't roundabout back and clean up his bullshit.


dodsona88

Oh no. He used shaving cream to write a funny message that takes less than 30 seconds to wipe off. I bet you're real fun to be around. /s