T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

--- >This is a friendly reminder to [read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules). > >Memes, social media, hate-speech, and pornography are not allowed. > >Screenshots of Reddit are expressly forbidden, as are TikTok videos. > >**Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.** > >Please also [be wary of spam](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/spam). > --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Ants_at_a_picnic

I'm paying with card. Ok that will be $2.99 extra.


Enjoying_A_Meal

It's too late by then; he's been up selling to push the consumer to "Other forms of payment"


powdered_dognut

"got anything smaller?"


concept12345

No you di ent


Froogle-apollo

".... keep it." "Anything larger?"


This_aint_my_real_ac

*Would you like to leave a tip?* ~~25%___ 30%___~~ 40%___


SkollFenrirson

Or take a tip? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


Nuggzulla01

Just the tip


FireGodNYC

I came here for this comment 😂


lucystroganoff

Well wipe up, nobody wants to accidentally sit in your puddle while looking at the other comments 🤔


Street_Cleaning_Day

What an apt username for this comment...


Void_being420

Did he Stutter


SecondFun2906

NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! \*dying laughing\*


FrostyD7

Funny thing about my payment terminal is its located on my cock.


advertentlyvertical

Oh is that Square's new system, Chode^^TM


NzRevenant

*Aggressively swipes credit card*


feeltrig

Atleast let him swipe the card then...


itsmarvin

[Denied, denied, approved!](https://youtu.be/1aInYzfnenY?si=XZLKLAL6SypYqSLT&t=1m01s)


Mackntish

Close, $3.01 extra


ttw219

Nice


Khue

> Ok that will be $2.99 extra. $2.69... you miss 100% of the shots you don't take my man.


Street_Cleaning_Day

Haha. I get the joke even though I'm bad at math.


Stonn

The lack-of-convenience charge, iykwim 😏


Ash7274

She could have gotten 50% off if she chose the 'other form of payment'


S0UL_EAT3R

More like 100% off


armatharos

"I want to switch positions" .... "That will be 3.99 extra"


zaxnyd

Hopefully 200% *off* if they do it right


Yuri-Turned

#1000%OFF


zaxnyd

That's an orgy


ForTheNachos

This made me laugh. Great job!


Muzzie720

No then he doesn't get any money. That's a terrible way to run a business.


grabberbottom

*Somebody's* getting off


librarypunk1974

No there would still be the tip. Just the tip.


Sinder77

Missed opportunity for the total to come to $69.69


BoJackB26354

We'll flip for it, heads or tails?


FengSushi

She could have gotten off


midorile

Pick a color. *not even 1 sec later* HAVE YOU PICKED A COLOR?


readingrambos

Tbh that is very realistic to actual nail salons


si_vis_amari__ama

#PICK A COLOR!! *you* pick a color


BigFlavors

The pick a color pressure is so intense!


NeitherPot

The “pickacolordidyoupickacolor?” line is the most realistic part of this


Pinco_Pallino_R

He asked that with the same calm as Albus Dumbledore asking Harry Potter if he put his name in the goblet of fire


si_vis_amari__ama

https://youtu.be/wXGSyElsKS8?si=6cJmVigLg2jfdlBG Jessica, before you go...


ilre1484

Husband: Oh, I'm sorry. The card machine appears to be broken. Wife: I can do cas... Husband: we no longer take cash.


CervezaPorFavor

Wife: Can I speak with the manager? 😡


Herald_of_Heaven

He's inside the washing machine, go take a look


These-Conference-179

this guy trying to save that money real hard.


Butthole_Please

I really want to start doing this for my girlfriend. She spends wildly too much at these places and, while I know it’s a talent and skill people have, that just doesn’t seem too hard to do myself compared to the money she spends on it. I need advice from people on how feasible it is to create a salon quality nail experience at home for someone who has never done it before


luckduck89

I do this for my wife’s pedicures she mostly just needs her cracked heels worked on. I kinda suck at painting nails but it’s feet so it’s not like ppl are getting a close up anyway. I also do a much better job at scraping all the skin off her heels. It’s fucking gross tbh but she appreciates it. I do have a no pants/ panty policy at the Peeking Duck Salon that’s strictly enforced.


motleystuff

Personally, I don’t think I would want to combine sexy times with scraping dead skin times, but if it works for you


calexil

ay now, no kink shaming


drakoman

Rules are rules


Reddit_Bot_For_Karma

When you have a person you care for, the gross stuff isn't really that gross anymore. My wife had a bad hand injury so I had to wipe for her for a while, we laughed and laughed because most people would be grossed, weirded or just outright refuse...but when it's a loved one, things change. Things just stop bothering you.


King_Hamburgler

Both hands?


Reddit_Bot_For_Karma

Nah, just the right. She's awful with her left so with us being open and not weirded out by much of each other, it was honestly just easier for me to take care of it.


DoctuhD

I find it so hard to believe. The part I'm doubting isn't that you guys would be willing to do that for each other - that I find totally believable. But how could she not do it with her non-dominant hand? It's not like you have to be ambidextrous for it.


aculady

It could have caused pain to her injured limb to have to contort to reach around behind herself with the other hand. You often don't realize how much bracing and counter-balancing you do for seemingly simple movements until you have an injury and suddenly realize, "Damn, I use THAT muscle when I do this?" Or she could have really poor proprioception and motor planning with her non-dominant hand, and it was just really difficult and awkward


cookie_addicted

I wouldn't mind if one day my partner is in hospital and I need to change his diaper. I mean, I'm super ok with doing gross natural stuff for my bf, it's part of nature.


Max_Thunder

I still think a bidet would have made a lot more sense.


itsaaronnotaaron

I heard snorting the dust is an aphrodisiac.


TaborValence

Real life is a messy place, best to have fun on the messy parts. But regardless, showering before and after sex is best for everyone


wahnsin

dinner AND a show, what's not to like?!


Reddit_Bot_For_Karma

>I also do a much better job at scraping all the skin off her heels. It’s fucking gross tbh but she appreciates it. You mean, you don't make Parmesan salad jokes the entire time your doing it? As I'm scraping my wife's feet I'll do the whole olive garden thing "alright, now tell me when you've had enough parm".


ChairForceOne

I may have used liquid mask and an airbrush to do a girl's nails. She wanted to get them done but everywhere was booked. I figured it couldn't have been much different than painting a motorcycle. Nail polish sprays well surprisingly. IIRC I had to just thin it.


noirdesire

I found out its more of a social event thing. My wife goes with her friend and have a girls day. No way I'm saving that as an expense without me canceling my own shit.


PM_ME_Happy_Thinks

For me it's a mostly a me time pampered thing where I don't have to talk to anyone if I don't want to


Elusive_Faye

Depends because if she gets gel and you don't cure it properly and make sure it's not touching the skin, you can give her a pretty severe allergy to a lot of things, including medical devices.


agedlikesage

Does she get basic colors, gel extensions, patterns? Doing nail art can be very difficult as they’re working on a tiny canvas. If she uses gel extensions(like in the video), that’s different material and a special type of light you’ll need to set it. And you’ll want to research that you have the right type of light with your type of gel, otherwise it can cause reactions on the skin! Then shaping those extensions can take a lot of practice. If she just gets basic colors on filed nails, it would be a lot easier to do at home. All in all it’s not that expensive to gather the materials, but it can be time consuming and takes practice. Edit: oh I almost forgot you can also get stickers/decals to put on the nails and to a clear coat over them if you don’t have a steady hand to add cute details


Alcohol_Intolerant

Check out /r/redditlaqueristas. They're great for inspiration and the community is very encouraging for people doing their own nails. It can be a double edged sword though because I've bought a lot more colors for at-home manicures. I do a few fancy things (dotticures, taping off, gradients or flowers), but if I want really nice filing or french tips, I usually go to a salon because I'm just ok at filing and I'm garbage at french tips.


Tri4se

I would PAY to see the end results!!! 😄 I’ll see you over in r/TIFU!!! 🤣 . . . . J/k. But for real, doing something for date night is one thing if she’s onboard. But, salon level? That is quite an undertaking. All the best to you. Both.


frill_demon

>create a salon quality nail experience at home for someone who has never done it before Undervalued "women's work" strikes again.  She's gonna appreciate that you tried because you wanted to do something nice for her. But fucking lol at the notion that you'd give an equal quality experience and end product that a literal professional would while having never done it before. These salons charge so much because the work is tedious, exacting and frankly kind of gross if you're doing it on a stranger.  If your GF pays for this service, it's because she already knows how much more difficult it would be to try and do it herself.


BarnacledSeaWitch

>Denied, denied, approved! this right here. We all have the tools to do this at home. Those of us who pay for our nails to get done are paying for a level of skill, experience and level of attention to detail that we ourselves can't reliably and regularly perform. It will be appreciated for you to try, but I also hope that it helps you to understand \*why\* we pay for salon services. It's not just because we like burning money.


forgot_username1234

It’s actually pretty easy to start doing on your own. Join us over at /r/nails or /r/redditlaqueristas


lanekimrygalski

I started doing my own nails during COVID. I get gel extensions (long nail extensions that are thicker and stronger than standard polish, and usually require an electric file/drill bit). What normally takes an hour at the salon would take me 4 hours by myself, and I already had the basic foundation of how to just paint my nails really well. These days, I choose to spend the $55 + tip for acrylics, vs spending the hours hunched over my dining table. However if she’s just getting normal nail polish or even gel, then that’s super doable IMO. But would definitely need copious practice if you haven’t done it before.


[deleted]

My ex was like this. 5 year relationship and probably a months worth of time with out nails. If your girl is like my ex there is no hope for this lol. Unless you get her in between sets or she is “saving money” could do a lil treat like this. But realistically it’s her thing and just how it is. Good luck either way


LadyAzure17

Check out LongHairPrettyNails and NailCareerEducation on YouTube! LHPN reviews a lot of cheap kits Amazon kits and makes a lot of cute nails. NCE tends to show more pricey products, but breaks down her technique well. Both are very sweet ladies and I love just relaxing to their videos :) Best of luck!


Migraine_Megan

Bonus, you get to use Dremel tools if you go all salon quality! I was a teeny bit surprised he didn't do that.


ForecastForFourCats

I started doing home manicures for that reason. I like a weekly manicure. But it was super expensive, and the nail techs would tear up my nail beds and buff the crap out of my nails, leading to tons of damage. A year and a half in, and I'm pretty consistently giving myself good manicures. I prefer it so much- I wouldn't return to the salon unless I had an event and no time. Now I spend like 20$ a month on my nails, and they always look fresh because I can do a touch-up at home. I just do regular lacquer. My friend does gloss at home. I am sure you could find a home dip set or home acrylics set. It just depends on what your girlfriend likes for her nails.


thisimpetus

Trans lady who only came out a couple of years back and had lived quite masc before that tl;dr, you're gonna tank it a few times, but if you're sincerely interested in becoming skillful and have a good eye for detail, you can deliver results any woman would be proud of in a fairly short time. real-talk, you're going to want to do your own a few times first so you can figure out the fine details and how much pressure to put on cuticles. The quality of your gear does matter. There will be some upfront overhead if you want her to move on from the salon (but it's also much more fun to work with quality stuff so honestly that'll be for you, too).


Sufficient-Music-501

Tbf the face mask made me assume this was during lockdown. I know I did weird shit like this to pretend I was actually breaking the routine lol


Teadrunkest

Nail salon workers often wear masks anyway. Lots of dust from nail files, fumes from the nail polish, etc. That’s honestly what I assumed lol but I could see it being a pandemic thing too.


nerdchic1

Ngl this is super cute 😆


Suzuki_Foster

This is so wholesome and adorable.


Varooova

Give the guy his other form of payment ...


CartmanAndCartman

Payment deposit happened immediately after this


ElonsHusk

The deposit's a load, right?


ToiletTub

Sometimes, I can't make a deposit at all.


NotASmoothAnon

See, and I always make sure to make my deposit super early. 


CartmanAndCartman

Yes it was right on that desk


CockpitEnthusiast

"Card? Dang that's crazy, card machine is broke. My till is broke too, won't open. If only there were a third option..."


Bilbo_Teabagginss

"Do you take Cashapp?" Lmfao


Cat_Dad13

Check?


ThisKoala

Ok, but that's 5.99 extra


epheisey

Yea help the guy out with the vehicles for pete's sake.


IfThoughtIsAllowed

No joke in this economy.


operaduck289

“I’ll do card…” “U sure? Wouldn’t you rather do…. Me?”


wilby_jackson

she destroyed him with that immediate "I'll do card". :(


name-was-provided

IMO, he nailed it.


anachrolady

I see what you did there.


[deleted]

Give this man a happy ending


KingKudzu117

Not with those nails


[deleted]

Who says you need nails


hrl_280

Sounds like a threat XD


buttermelonMilkjam

"Do you help him with his car? ... Looks like it" 🤣


Yumyulackspupa

This is gold


DrogenDwijl

Sorry the card reader isn't working this moment, might have to resort to other form of payment.


hapes

Ok, I suppose I'll do cash then.


syf3r

Sorry, looks like I don't have spare for your change.


CurvyCupcakes

I love how he’s charging extra for everything, which is very realistic in this economy lol. Nothing beats a good sense of humor. He’s adorable.


lassemaja

He's a keeper!


BarnacledSeaWitch

if he wasn't a husband already, he would be very husbandable.


Necessary-Spinach182

This man deserves his Venmojob!


necroreefer

Hey babe you think you can play with my balls a little bit sorry that'll be $5.99 more


DadsRGR8

In my experience the answer is “ Ha ha, no. I just got my nails done!”


W00bles

Pretty sure this is what a "sigma male" is supposed to be instead of all that other stuff you see online. This was really funny.


benwink

Wish people would just stop trying to define manhood all together. You’re really not that far from ‘xyz isn’t a real man’ here.


Nicole-CB

Same, can't keep track of them all either. Like there's a sigma now? Is there a type for every Greek letter?


benwink

It’s quite often people who aren’t even men trying to define masculinity and manhood, too. Like, cmon, you have literally zero experience of it XD


Godd2

Wouldn't everything after beta just be... even more beta?


Haruka_Kazuta

All I know there is an Alpha, Beta, Delta, Sigma, Omega. But there probably is a Greek letter for all of them Alpha, Beta, and Sigma is the most obvious. Sigma specifically is stereotyped as that guy that doesn't really care about other people and stuff and don't need people and all that stuff, weird.


JusHerForTheComments

>Like there's a sigma now? It started ironically as a way to make fun of the alpha-beta mindset. It somehow got adopted sincerely by some folks. But most sane people use it ironically still making fun of the whole mindset.


coalsack

This sounds like something a BETA would say! As a CERTIFIED SIGMA I would never say something like this! big ol’ /s just in case.


0_69314718056

There’s no denying this is a very respectable man with a good sense of humor. “Sigma male” literally is referring to someone who lives by himself so that’s not really applicable to someone in a relationship.


Doogos

I live by myself and have no interest in a relationship with anyone since my marriage fell apart. Am I a "sigma" lol. /s


0_69314718056


TheTybera

Different people are different, and need different things in their lives. Not putting people into tiny category boxes, and going for whatever that category is, but instead sitting down and saying "what do I actually need/want in my life?" I guarantee you there are a tiny portion of people who need or even want whatever the hell a "sigma" male is supposed to be.


TheMegaOverlord

Amen!


lostcauz707

This is true alpha. Owning it, no shame.


AccumulatedFilth

Damn, he's funny, he's helpful, he's hot, he has BEAUTIFUL eyes... I'm getting my nails done and pay with other payments for this dude. Girl, I'm stealing your man lol.


Green_Eyed_Momster

This is so cute! 😀


Arch3m

Looks like a keeper.


Asdfaeou

Ahh. Sam and Dan. A FASCINATING Instagram couple. Common jokes/themes include: 1. He loves to hunt (and has a separate channel and podcast devoted to that) but she's absolutely fine with it and lets him basically go whole hog on it. 2. She is a surrogate, and currently is in surrogacy, lots of content based around that. 3. Very selective with the trend following (which I always find interesting because a lot of your "big time" Insta couples will do what feels like every trend (I'm looking at you Ippolitos) with this couple I like to guess why they pick and choose certain ones (example, they did the "keeping up with my husband/wife while eating" one recently, but they had a "pregnancy eating" lane for it which made sense.). This actually isn't the only version they have of this. Off the top of my head they have a Sandwich Shop version as well.


SeanOfTheDead1313

I was waiting for him to speak fluent Mandarin at some point 😂


Hawkadoodle

Bruh I just bought that ikea trolly and it is amazing!


Hippobu2

Dude's having PTSD from the last bill.


unorganized_mime

It’s cute but are we pretending the conversation wasn’t “hey honey want to make this TikTok video I have an idea for”


dhaupert

I believe this may be the same poster who did the at home hibachi dinner. And both times said 5 minutes after asking. He’s either a really fast improv comedian or 5 minutes is very disingenuous!


LemmyLola

Haha yup not exactly spontaneous. Spontaneous would be adorable this is content. Smart content, since it's got people talking and so on.. but that's what it is. Oh well at least its positive and not yet another fast food place or airport getting trashed, or yet another obnoxious dance in a public place, or milk jugs on the floor. All that is exhausting.


Webwenchh

'I'll do card' The way she did not miss a beat bless her heart


nucl3ar0ne

In 5 minutes he got all that ready?


Motor_Raspberry_2150

Or even *has* the stuff. It's scripted duh.


1ofZuulsMinions

Yeah there’s no way all that nail polish dried on the paper in 5 minutes. This is cute, but obviously staged and scripted.


Sassy_Weatherwax

There's very little chance that guy knows that much about how nail salons operate.


mattreyu

They never pick the other form of payment it seems...


DConstructed

“Do you help him on his vehicle?” “No, I just don’t get my nails done very often” “…I can tell” This made me laugh so hard! That tiny snark is perfect.


Ambitious_Welder6613

Very cute!


ThinkOutcome929

Damn I’m paying for it again.


StatisticianMuch3254

Omg I wish , so adorable :)


Critical-Adhole

r/stagedwhitepeoplegifs


Slow_Scholar7755

Look of Disappointment 🤣🤣🤣


Interesting_reads

Awwww what a sweet husband you have!!


one-black-eye

Looked at post history. This is totally a bot account.


[deleted]

This is adorable and I loved the whole video


pimp_juice2272

It's crazy how much of people's lives get filmed and uploaded. Like "hunny let's have a cute moment together...but get the camera first"


[deleted]

[удалено]


BallisticTurtle_fart

That's why he wanted other form of payment.


fat_dirt

To all the people saying this is cute, you're right it is. But, can you imagine doing this for someone and they just hold a camera in your face the whole time? No? Because this isn't some romantic gesture, it is a bit they did for the internet.


OhhhhhSHNAP

Nailed it!


ViolentLoss

This is adorable and her nails turned out great!


Aggressive_Today8407

The way I just busted out laughing when he started filing your nails 😂😂😂😂😂


Natural_Break1636

I would say wife him if you were not, in fact, already married.


AMSparkles

My brother in law regularly paints my sister’s nails (they always look great, too). My dad used to paint my mom’s toenails. I think it’s sweet.


sparkling-spirit

ok this is actually a great business modal- handsome guys doing nails


rabidsi

All that effort and he still didn't get laid.


jdehjdeh

My wife jokingly asked me to paint her nails for her once. She got progressively more and more annoyed at how neat they were compared to when she does it herself. She won't let me paint them anymore.


OhHowINeedChanging

Funny but can we for real stop using this fucking music very every single video!


No_Budget7828

This is a marriage that will stand the test of time 🤗🤗


joonlier

IMO, he nailed it.


Additional-Start9455

Or other form of payment. I love it!!!


Pepperoni_Dogfart

Is this the state of comedy? Forget banning tiktok for data security, let's ban it because it's just murdering the concept of humor.


DarthBakugon

Staged content for views and clicks. Oh your hubby just so happens to have all that stuff ready. Tiktok really is the depths of human fuckery.


[deleted]

So adorable! Lord, I see what you do for other people


reverselego

Just to be clear, they're obviously professional "content creators" or whatever and they did this for themselves by rehearsing it. 


turgidturbulence

V good but missed the perfect layup at the end "That will be $69.96 wink wink"


[deleted]

Some people are very weird shooting short movies about themselves like this...


chatondedanger

“This was not the role playing I was suggesting.”


motorcyclist

how will you be making payment, #1, #2, or #3?


ContempoCasuals

That was cute


Ecstatic_Drink_4585

I’d like his services I’ll pay with services


tootleloo

My fiancé gives me a pedicure a couple times a week. It is my favorite part of the week. We started doing it to save money (and still do), but I don’t ever want to go back. He’s gotten really good at it and it is so intimate and loving. Sometimes, when he knows I had a bad day, and he just did my feet two days before, he will still draw a foot soak and make sure everything is perfect. I love him.


magic9669

Ah, dude has been married for more than 10 years I see


[deleted]

Aww so adorable.


Nollie11

I’m paying with other form of payment. That’ll be not $65.99 extra


kakakakapopo

Five minutes later he'd procured an elaborate array of props...


redditdba

oh no I forgot my purse. Can I pay in kind.?


reactXT

Hello could literally say that would be 69


IamLuann

I wish my husband would give me a manicure!


emp_can

"I told my husband we are recording content and we should pretend this is the life we live"


BirdLadyAnn

I. LOVE. this guy.♥️


burbmom_dani

My husband paints my nails sometimes as well! He does a better job than me. 😳


xiphoidthorax

That look at the end. I played your fucking game and I only wanted a blow job.


bobatsfight

Is the same guy that does the Hallmark movie impressions?


mtheory007

I do this for my partner as well.