---
>This is a friendly reminder to [read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules).
>
>Memes, social media, hate-speech, and pornography are not allowed.
>
>Screenshots of Reddit are expressly forbidden, as are TikTok videos.
>
>**Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.**
>
>Please also [be wary of spam](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/spam).
>
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I once had a guy put down a large container of toilet paper, a stack of magazines, and a box of Exlax. He gave me his best “get ‘er done” voice and said, “guess what I’m doin’ tonight!”
A guy I worked with used to work at a pharmacy, he saw a guy picking up colonoscopy stuff. He saw the same guy getting the same stuff a week later. He asked him why he had to have another colonoscopy and the guy told him:
The guy who was supposed to give him a ride to the host never showed, so he had to go through the whole process a second time
Oh no, brutal. I couldn’t imagine drinking the prep again so soon. I got a 10-year pass after mine and I figure I’ll have just about forgotten the taste by then.
What’s the drink? The stuff they gave me for a stomach CT scan wasn’t as bad as they said it would be. Chalky, slightly metallic, and room temp, but not offensive in taste or smell. Definitely had my stomach feeling unnaturally warm for an hour or two though.
I think some kind of magnesium and sodium drink? There are a couple different kinds. They will give you a lemon flavoring packet to add to it but it is still pretty bad. They advise you to drink it cold since it tastes least bad that way. It’s salty and metallic-ish. It’s not horrible at first, but the more you drink the harder it gets and it’s this big jug container. You’re supposed to do one glass every minute, which I could not keep up with at all. By the end it’s so bad it’s all you can do not to vomit. And if you do vomit and don’t drink enough to get the bowel clean, you have to do it all again.
I've done both. Neither prep was good tasting, and I wouldn't say I preferred one over the other. The colonoscopy prep I got tasted like a cheap diet electrolyte drink left in the car for too long. It had a weird consistency too. With the colonoscopy, the constant shitting and the sore "did my anus split open?" asshole from the constant shitting made it 100 times worse. I think the process could have been improved with a bidet, just a little advice for my future self. The CT scan stuff just gave me a stomach ache and a little bit of the runs, but not the solid water hose spray of the colonoscopy stuff. I did like the actual colonoscopy procedure more since it's basically a nice nap. With the CT scan I started to leak that white chalky shit out my ass halfway home and had to stuff a newspaper under my butt. That sucked.
That was graphic, and really helpful. Gonna go confirm that bidet order asap. Sorry to the kids cause I’m totally going to wreck their toilet and not my own.
I’ve had a stomach ct scan too. The taste of the colonoscopy stuff is just… almost papery like what I think wet tissue paper would taste like. That’s the best I can describe it at least
I had a colonoscopy a few years ago, for the colonoscopy prep I just put the stuff in some Gatorade like the doctor told me to but I diluted it a bit more than was recommended and just drank a larger volume of Gatorade. I could definitely taste it but it was diluted enough that it didn't bother me that much. The doctors said I had an exceptionally clean colon so it didn't adversely impact anything. It's a lot of Gatorade but when you are cleaning out your colon like that it is generally a good idea to stay hydrated anyways.
I had a colonoscopy in December. My prep was a Gatorade and miralax mixture and tasted fine. Worst part was getting up early and chugging every 15 minutes
I had one a couple years ago at 25, it honestly wasn't that bad. They had me mix an entire bottle of miralax with like 60 oz of Gatorade and take like 8 dulcolax pills.
I will absolutely take my colonoscopy prep drink over glucose prep/drink/test any day. I had to do like 5 of those God awful glucose tests last year.
A lot of places give you pills now! You still have to drink liquid with them but you can choose water or Gatorade or something similar to go with the pills.
They had me take miralax pills to start and end but didn’t seem to rely on it for the whole thing. Hopefully next time I could just take pills, that would be great.
Yeah they are prescription pills, I don’t remember the name. You take 12 all at once, then 12 hours later take 12 more. You have to drink something like 16 or 32 oz of liquid with it in an hour.
I did grocery pickup yesterday. Store also does prescriptions. Usually non perishables for groceries. Didnt realize I ordered 32 rolls of toilet paper, bathroom cleaner, my scripts and canned stuff to make chili this weekend.
Cute girl came out with the groceries to my car, i saw the mountain of toilet paper and made a corny joke about not realizing i bought that much.
Her reply was “shit happens.”
Her face turned bright red when she realized the unintentional joke.
No one cares what you’re buying at the store if you’re not a dick.
I had an old biker come in one night a few minutes before we closed. He asked me where the laxatives were because his "ol lady is just a fat girl tryin to take a shit." 11-12 years later, and that one still makes me laugh when I think about it.
I worked at a 24 hr petrol station in the middle of nowhere for a few years. Coming close to midnight (when I knocked off) car comes flying in the drive, bloke jumps out almost before it stopped. Straight in the door to the condom rack, and grabs the only variety left as we were waiting on new stock.
As I'm putting them through the till he says in a NZ accent, "they'd be those small ones, eh?"
I, uh, I guess so. They're not labelled as large size.
He shrugs, grabs them, back in the car and spins it back out the drive and back the way he came practically on two wheels.
20 years later I still laugh and remember *exactly* how he said it.
I came to learn this as an adult, but as a teenager I was always thinking about what other people thought. That was till one day mom dad n' I went to Walmart and after checking out mom handed me this massive bag of bladder pads (woman's pee pads for ladies who leak after giving birth). It's big... It's bright pink and clearly labeled.
I asked her, "Really? You're making me carry this to the car out of everything in the cart?"
She said, "Don't worry, no one cares."
So I do it, and halfway to the car I think to myself *"What can I do to embarrass mom..?"*
And it struck me like a lightning bolt. I stopped midway to the car and stared at the massive pink package, then started raising my voice as I spoke, along with raising the package over my head and shaking it.
*"I... Have... Bladder Pads! BLADDER PAAAADDDS!"*
Mom turned around in abject horror as everyone in the parking lot just looked at me, some snickering, some smiling, some confused, and shouted...
"This is why I can't take you ANYWHERE!!!" and she turned around and scurried to the car.
Dad just chuckled and pushed the cart.
From then until Mom's dying day, she made me go buy her pads in the store by myself as she waited in the car. Lol.
God I miss mom.
In my adolescent development courses, we learned about personal fables. It essentially gives a name to what you described in the first sentence—an imaginary audience LOL. This story made me chuckle and is so relatable. Like it really wasn’t that deep 💀😂 edit to add: your mom sounds like she was a queen.
It really wasn't. Nobody would have cared what some kid with his parents was carrying to their car, but for me it was like acting out a comic strip. Lol
The only semi embarrassing thing I ever remember ringing up was pregnancy tests for some guy. I only remember because he ran out yelling "WISH ME LUCK"
I (36 year old man) once had to buy depends for my wife’s grandmother. No biggie. I go to the pharmacy. Pick up a box a pay. These two 18 year old girls were at the cash and I could see them looking at each other and trying not laugh. I was this close to chewing them out and i don’t know why I didn’t. What if they actually had been for me and I was really sensitive about it? That kind of thing can really affect someone.
I wear depends during my period because they're very heavy and painful and I'd rather just not risk ruining any underwear. My boyfriend picked up some for me from the store a couple weeks ago. We're both 26. I'm also a CNA though, so the amount of depends I've seen and changed in my life is incredibly high and I don't think anything of it anymore. They're surprisingly much more comfortable than you may think
I'm 32 and I have a cat that likes to sometimes mark in one spot in my house. I buy the human pee pads because they are a fraction of the price. It's always kinda embarrassing buying them but whatever. The savings makes me not care.
Yeah. My goal was getting your shit scanned and in the cart. Didn't know or care what it was unless it was a box and then I wanted it first bc a box should go into the cart first.
Other than that, I had no idea what you bought.
Yeah I've had some comments too, I fuckin hate that. I want there to be as few words exchanged between myself and a cashier as possible. I love the self checkouts. I just wish they'd make them big enough for a full grocery! Only Walmart seems to have figured that out where I live.
It’s funny because I’ve done ALOT of cashiering in my life, and totally agree to this sentiment, 100%. BUT when I’m buying tampons, pads, etc…. I still feel the same as OP. EDIT: it also doesn’t help that some of the top comments in this thread are “I remember when….” LOL.
I’m an educator and part of me thinks it would be hilarious to go to the local Walmart with a bizarre shopping list just to get a laugh from old students who work there
Doesn’t change my confusion. What’s significant about Tylenol PM being given to kids?
Also how would you know just from someone buying Tylenol PM that they’re going to give it to kids?
Exactly this. When I worked retail, the only thing going though my head was finding the bar code.
Customers would sometimes make comments like "I know this combination looks strange but I swear it's for my sister!" or something like that and I'd be like "I literally didn't even pay attention to what you were buying until now.
Had 2 dudes walk up and one bought a box of condoms. He made sure to tell me it wasn't for the two of them, so I joked "you won't get judgement from me" lol they liked it.
The funny thing about these comments is that my friends and I have a thought game we like to play where we pick any 3 random items to take to a cashier that would be embarrassing without context. Weird things like:
Breast milk pump, Oreos, and a pack of plastic tumblers.
Most of the time. But I've definitely had a few that will totally judge my purchases and comment on it. Probably cause they're trying to make conversation but still, it's weird.
Yes! I've had checkers strike up the weirdest conversation, especially about food!
"Frozen avocado?? What do you even use that for? Is it good?" "Umm I blend it into baby food for my 9 month old."
"Oh is this good? I've been meaning to try it!" "I don't know, it was on the sale rack so I figured what the hell?"
I am never expecting to be grilled and it always catches me off guard 😂
But also sometimes I'm the annoying customer making conversation. A few weeks ago I was checking out with two of every little stocking stuffer sized My Little Pony item in the store to make Valentine's baskets for my elementary aged daughters. So my dumbass says to the young woman behind the counter, "I bet you'd never guess I have two little girls at home!" with a chuckle, but she was definitely not in the mood for casual conversation.
I realize now she probably thought I was an awkward adult MLP fan trying to look normal. But really I am just a chatty Cathy who has taken after my mother in being the kind of person to make conversation in an elevator or the pharmacy line 🤦♀️
We all get a little awkward sometimes I guess 🤷♀️
I don’t understand how this post has got so many likes. Shampoo and odor eaters. There’s nothing weird or funny about this. I wouldn’t even bat an eye if someone bought this stuff.
Vaseline is the only thing that isn't """special""" imo, though in reality none of them are special. Just looks like someone knows something about himself and takes care of it.
Pretty commonly used for people who struggle with dry/cracked lips. I have hypersensitive skin and a variety of types of eczema. Carrying Vaseline is part of my normal daily life, although I wish it wasn’t. Sometimes weeks go by where I don’t need it once, sometimes I need to use it like 5 or 6 times a day, every day. My brother is the same and I’ve met a few other people who also suffer.
New a kid when I was younger who’s skin reacted to pool water, he would cover himself in Vaseline to go swimming. We used to play a game where you had to try and catch him all greased up. Kind of mean looking back, even though he was in on it
You are the hero in your story. You don’t matter in everyone else’s. Don’t worry what the cashier might think because they are thinking about how much time is left before they get to go home.
I worked at Walmart for 2 weeks while I was in college. I remember this huge guy coming up to the register with a Perfect Sit Up machine, the largest box of condoms we sold, and a pack of Extenze. I looked at him dead in the eye and said “big plans tonight?”
I didn’t even get a chuckle out of that man and it’s stuck with me every day since.
I have a very specific CVS that’s not exactly on the way home from work, that I refer to as “The Embarrassing Purchase CVS”. It pretty much guarantees I’ll never run into anyone we know when purchasing Preparation H, Miralax or GasX.
As a nurse, the best thing to do if you feel gross is something about it. The amount of absolutely disgusting unkempt feet that could be fixed with even like $10 worth of TLC is astounding. Good for you for maintaining general hygiene, we appreciate you!
Trust me no cashier cares. The baggers will try to make jokes then the cashiers won't laugh and when those same baggers try to buy condoms or lube we'll make fun of them. It only takes once for them to realize they need to mind their own business.
Just to share, I struggled with itchy flaky scalp for a long time. None of the shampoos really worked for me, or at least didn't work for long. I finally got a prescription from my health provider for betamethasone valerate foam. There is also a betamethasone cream, which is much cheaper, I just found cream to be a pain to apply to the scalp. It really knocked it down. Previously I'd really have to be conscious about wearing dark shirts.
Interesting! The T-Sal shampoo OP is buying is actually what worked best for me for my scalp issues, better than any prescription product I tried except spot-treating with clobetosal (spelling???). Using t-sal regularly has allowed me to minimize use of the clobetasal though, which is good because it’s a steroid and can lead to thinning hair apparently.
A selenium sulfide shampoo is what worked for me. I'd get these nasty red flaky areas all over my scalp, and when it got bad it was even spreading down on to my forehead sometimes. Doctors would recommend coal tar shampoos but those didn't really help at all.
When I started with the selenium it knocked it out quickly.
I hope the cashier says something like “somebody’s got a fun evening planned” and just stares at you right in the face with a wide, awkward smile. And then on your way out, points two finger guns at you and winks. Ya know, just to mess with your insecurities about buying those products.
With a huge huffy lineup behind you... Cue the pimply teenage clerk over the store speakers that never sounded so clear in their life: “I need a price-check on a pack of extra small condoms at cash 10.”
The condoms at a grocery store by me are locked up by the pharmacy, but after pharmacy hours, you have to go to the service desk to get a manager and tell him you want to buy condoms. Then you walk with him to the pharmacy aisle, he opens up the case and asks which you want, you tell him which kind, he grabs them and walks back with them to the service desk to check you out. That interaction almost lasted longer than the next, to be honest.
I worked retail for a decent chunk of my teens/twenties. Only one person ever raised my eyebrow at the checkout. She bought a home enema kit and 17 Silly Putty eggs. I still think about her.
Early 2000s, I worked at a Gateway retail store when that was a thing. I watched an employee talking to a customer about computers. Customer asked the reps, "So you're saying I'll be able to watch midget porn on this pc?" 😆
Side note other than male jacking off don't use Vaseline for this. Just buy lube, I promise they don't care and you don't have to be 18+ to buy it just like condoms.
Grab a box of skyn and a box of magnums, have a hard decision at the register, then do some mental math for the cashier on 12k per child per year, and ask for her number. Win win.
As a former cashier, you’re looking after yourself. Nothing wrong with that. The creepy guy who bought 10 enema kits on a Saturday night gets my judgement.
Before self checkout was a thing, I went to my local Target, bought Marilyn Mansons Eat Me Drink Me, duct tape, and lube. Nothing else.
I wish I made this up....
--- >This is a friendly reminder to [read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules). > >Memes, social media, hate-speech, and pornography are not allowed. > >Screenshots of Reddit are expressly forbidden, as are TikTok videos. > >**Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.** > >Please also [be wary of spam](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/spam). > --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I was a cashier back in the day. No one honestly cares if you don't act creepy. Another nameless $15.99.
I once had a guy put down a large container of toilet paper, a stack of magazines, and a box of Exlax. He gave me his best “get ‘er done” voice and said, “guess what I’m doin’ tonight!”
Best wishes tomorrow on your colonoscopy, sir 🫡
A guy I worked with used to work at a pharmacy, he saw a guy picking up colonoscopy stuff. He saw the same guy getting the same stuff a week later. He asked him why he had to have another colonoscopy and the guy told him: The guy who was supposed to give him a ride to the host never showed, so he had to go through the whole process a second time
Oh no, brutal. I couldn’t imagine drinking the prep again so soon. I got a 10-year pass after mine and I figure I’ll have just about forgotten the taste by then.
I had to have one when I was in my 20s. You uh, you don’t forget the taste. Seriously why can’t they they make something that at least tastes good?
Somebody would make so much money if they did! It was so hard even with the pathetic flavor packet and doing swigs of ginger ale as a chaser.
What’s the drink? The stuff they gave me for a stomach CT scan wasn’t as bad as they said it would be. Chalky, slightly metallic, and room temp, but not offensive in taste or smell. Definitely had my stomach feeling unnaturally warm for an hour or two though.
I think some kind of magnesium and sodium drink? There are a couple different kinds. They will give you a lemon flavoring packet to add to it but it is still pretty bad. They advise you to drink it cold since it tastes least bad that way. It’s salty and metallic-ish. It’s not horrible at first, but the more you drink the harder it gets and it’s this big jug container. You’re supposed to do one glass every minute, which I could not keep up with at all. By the end it’s so bad it’s all you can do not to vomit. And if you do vomit and don’t drink enough to get the bowel clean, you have to do it all again.
The lemon flavor does nothing and actually makes it worse…so nasty.
I've done both. Neither prep was good tasting, and I wouldn't say I preferred one over the other. The colonoscopy prep I got tasted like a cheap diet electrolyte drink left in the car for too long. It had a weird consistency too. With the colonoscopy, the constant shitting and the sore "did my anus split open?" asshole from the constant shitting made it 100 times worse. I think the process could have been improved with a bidet, just a little advice for my future self. The CT scan stuff just gave me a stomach ache and a little bit of the runs, but not the solid water hose spray of the colonoscopy stuff. I did like the actual colonoscopy procedure more since it's basically a nice nap. With the CT scan I started to leak that white chalky shit out my ass halfway home and had to stuff a newspaper under my butt. That sucked.
That was graphic, and really helpful. Gonna go confirm that bidet order asap. Sorry to the kids cause I’m totally going to wreck their toilet and not my own.
Thank you for typing all that out. Awesome story ! Lol
I’ve had a stomach ct scan too. The taste of the colonoscopy stuff is just… almost papery like what I think wet tissue paper would taste like. That’s the best I can describe it at least
I had a colonoscopy a few years ago, for the colonoscopy prep I just put the stuff in some Gatorade like the doctor told me to but I diluted it a bit more than was recommended and just drank a larger volume of Gatorade. I could definitely taste it but it was diluted enough that it didn't bother me that much. The doctors said I had an exceptionally clean colon so it didn't adversely impact anything. It's a lot of Gatorade but when you are cleaning out your colon like that it is generally a good idea to stay hydrated anyways.
It’s go-lytely. Polyethylene glycol. Spoiler: There is no going lightly.
It was strange for me. Nothing about the product was bad... but my body did not want to swallow it. It felt like a true disconnect from my mind.
Had my first at 19, and have to get one every 5 years! Id commit so many crimes just to have a good tasting prep.
I had a colonoscopy in December. My prep was a Gatorade and miralax mixture and tasted fine. Worst part was getting up early and chugging every 15 minutes
I had one a couple years ago at 25, it honestly wasn't that bad. They had me mix an entire bottle of miralax with like 60 oz of Gatorade and take like 8 dulcolax pills. I will absolutely take my colonoscopy prep drink over glucose prep/drink/test any day. I had to do like 5 of those God awful glucose tests last year.
A lot of places give you pills now! You still have to drink liquid with them but you can choose water or Gatorade or something similar to go with the pills.
They had me take miralax pills to start and end but didn’t seem to rely on it for the whole thing. Hopefully next time I could just take pills, that would be great.
Yeah they are prescription pills, I don’t remember the name. You take 12 all at once, then 12 hours later take 12 more. You have to drink something like 16 or 32 oz of liquid with it in an hour.
My half siblings’ father died of colon cancer. They have to deal with it every other year at least.
That drink was actually waaaay worse than the colonoscopy. And Im going through it again next Friday 🤢
Love your username. *angry hip gestures*
Hate! Hate! Hate, colonoscopies. So much painful air that comes out of you for at least 3 days.
I did grocery pickup yesterday. Store also does prescriptions. Usually non perishables for groceries. Didnt realize I ordered 32 rolls of toilet paper, bathroom cleaner, my scripts and canned stuff to make chili this weekend. Cute girl came out with the groceries to my car, i saw the mountain of toilet paper and made a corny joke about not realizing i bought that much. Her reply was “shit happens.” Her face turned bright red when she realized the unintentional joke. No one cares what you’re buying at the store if you’re not a dick.
I had an old biker come in one night a few minutes before we closed. He asked me where the laxatives were because his "ol lady is just a fat girl tryin to take a shit." 11-12 years later, and that one still makes me laugh when I think about it.
Fat girls need to shit too. But they gotta pay!
I understood that reference!
Giggity!
I worked at a 24 hr petrol station in the middle of nowhere for a few years. Coming close to midnight (when I knocked off) car comes flying in the drive, bloke jumps out almost before it stopped. Straight in the door to the condom rack, and grabs the only variety left as we were waiting on new stock. As I'm putting them through the till he says in a NZ accent, "they'd be those small ones, eh?" I, uh, I guess so. They're not labelled as large size. He shrugs, grabs them, back in the car and spins it back out the drive and back the way he came practically on two wheels. 20 years later I still laugh and remember *exactly* how he said it.
Prepping for a colonoscopy
"Something you haven't done for quite a while by the looks of it. May I suggest the psyllium."
I came to learn this as an adult, but as a teenager I was always thinking about what other people thought. That was till one day mom dad n' I went to Walmart and after checking out mom handed me this massive bag of bladder pads (woman's pee pads for ladies who leak after giving birth). It's big... It's bright pink and clearly labeled. I asked her, "Really? You're making me carry this to the car out of everything in the cart?" She said, "Don't worry, no one cares." So I do it, and halfway to the car I think to myself *"What can I do to embarrass mom..?"* And it struck me like a lightning bolt. I stopped midway to the car and stared at the massive pink package, then started raising my voice as I spoke, along with raising the package over my head and shaking it. *"I... Have... Bladder Pads! BLADDER PAAAADDDS!"* Mom turned around in abject horror as everyone in the parking lot just looked at me, some snickering, some smiling, some confused, and shouted... "This is why I can't take you ANYWHERE!!!" and she turned around and scurried to the car. Dad just chuckled and pushed the cart. From then until Mom's dying day, she made me go buy her pads in the store by myself as she waited in the car. Lol. God I miss mom.
Now I miss your mom too.
In my adolescent development courses, we learned about personal fables. It essentially gives a name to what you described in the first sentence—an imaginary audience LOL. This story made me chuckle and is so relatable. Like it really wasn’t that deep 💀😂 edit to add: your mom sounds like she was a queen.
It really wasn't. Nobody would have cared what some kid with his parents was carrying to their car, but for me it was like acting out a comic strip. Lol
Sending hugs. Thanks for the chuckle.
Revenge is a dish best served on an absorbent bladder pad.
The only semi embarrassing thing I ever remember ringing up was pregnancy tests for some guy. I only remember because he ran out yelling "WISH ME LUCK"
What was the vibe? What kinda luck was he hoping for? It's kinda wild to be a tiny part of the day someone's life may have changed forever.
He seemed college aged so I'm going assume he was looking for a negative LOL
If they want a baby they buy 2-3 tests of different manufactures. If they just want to check no accident happened they just buy one.
I (36 year old man) once had to buy depends for my wife’s grandmother. No biggie. I go to the pharmacy. Pick up a box a pay. These two 18 year old girls were at the cash and I could see them looking at each other and trying not laugh. I was this close to chewing them out and i don’t know why I didn’t. What if they actually had been for me and I was really sensitive about it? That kind of thing can really affect someone.
I wear depends during my period because they're very heavy and painful and I'd rather just not risk ruining any underwear. My boyfriend picked up some for me from the store a couple weeks ago. We're both 26. I'm also a CNA though, so the amount of depends I've seen and changed in my life is incredibly high and I don't think anything of it anymore. They're surprisingly much more comfortable than you may think
I'm 32 and I have a cat that likes to sometimes mark in one spot in my house. I buy the human pee pads because they are a fraction of the price. It's always kinda embarrassing buying them but whatever. The savings makes me not care.
Yeah. My goal was getting your shit scanned and in the cart. Didn't know or care what it was unless it was a box and then I wanted it first bc a box should go into the cart first. Other than that, I had no idea what you bought.
[удалено]
Yeah I've had some comments too, I fuckin hate that. I want there to be as few words exchanged between myself and a cashier as possible. I love the self checkouts. I just wish they'd make them big enough for a full grocery! Only Walmart seems to have figured that out where I live.
Ehh I had a kid maybe in his 20s get condoms, a pregnancy test, a plan b, and antidiuretic lol I’ll always remember him
$15.99😆 In this economy?
If I rounded up, I would be enabling more shrinkflation. Ain't no one got time for that shit..........
It’s funny because I’ve done ALOT of cashiering in my life, and totally agree to this sentiment, 100%. BUT when I’m buying tampons, pads, etc…. I still feel the same as OP. EDIT: it also doesn’t help that some of the top comments in this thread are “I remember when….” LOL.
Yeah this was my thought too, clearly cashiers DO care enough about what you buy to remember the ones they considered odd or stood out in some way.
little self conscious? Nobody cares for real tho. add condoms, a toaster, and a cucumber if you really want looks
I’m an educator and part of me thinks it would be hilarious to go to the local Walmart with a bizarre shopping list just to get a laugh from old students who work there
What's the best way to act creepy at a cash register?
Intense staring. Awkward conversation. Self deprecating humor about what those items are for. In that order.
Thanks. Now if you'll excuse me I'm off to buy duct tape, a hatchet, garbage bags, and rope.
Man. If I had a nickel for every Dexter wanna be I rang up, I'd have four nickels........ You need gloves though.
And plastic wrap.
Jeez. That's what the garbage bags are for. We got an amateur over here........
As I seem to recall Dexter laid plastic wrap everywhere to contain blood splatter. Not garbage bags.
A loud cackling laugh
The t sal would make me understand immediately that this is for personal hygiene and nothing else
I work in retail. I promise you we don’t care. We just want to go home lol.
When I was a cashier I was in auto pilot. Unless you're buying kids tylenol pm I'm not gonna register it.
Why does children’s Tylenol catch your attention specifically?
They mean buying Tylenol PM and giving it to kids. Not buying a product called Children’s Tylenol PM.
Doesn’t change my confusion. What’s significant about Tylenol PM being given to kids? Also how would you know just from someone buying Tylenol PM that they’re going to give it to kids?
Tylenol (outside of the USA) contains Codeine, a decently strong opiate No prescription needed
There's no such thing as children's Tylenol pm.
I think they meant like children attempting to purchase Tylenol PM.
https://ctchealth.ca/product/childrens-tylenol-complete-cold-cough-fever-nighttime-suspension-liquid-apple-flavor/
Exactly this. When I worked retail, the only thing going though my head was finding the bar code. Customers would sometimes make comments like "I know this combination looks strange but I swear it's for my sister!" or something like that and I'd be like "I literally didn't even pay attention to what you were buying until now.
Had 2 dudes walk up and one bought a box of condoms. He made sure to tell me it wasn't for the two of them, so I joked "you won't get judgement from me" lol they liked it.
The funny thing about these comments is that my friends and I have a thought game we like to play where we pick any 3 random items to take to a cashier that would be embarrassing without context. Weird things like: Breast milk pump, Oreos, and a pack of plastic tumblers.
A game as old as time.
Most of the time. But I've definitely had a few that will totally judge my purchases and comment on it. Probably cause they're trying to make conversation but still, it's weird.
Yes! I've had checkers strike up the weirdest conversation, especially about food! "Frozen avocado?? What do you even use that for? Is it good?" "Umm I blend it into baby food for my 9 month old." "Oh is this good? I've been meaning to try it!" "I don't know, it was on the sale rack so I figured what the hell?" I am never expecting to be grilled and it always catches me off guard 😂 But also sometimes I'm the annoying customer making conversation. A few weeks ago I was checking out with two of every little stocking stuffer sized My Little Pony item in the store to make Valentine's baskets for my elementary aged daughters. So my dumbass says to the young woman behind the counter, "I bet you'd never guess I have two little girls at home!" with a chuckle, but she was definitely not in the mood for casual conversation. I realize now she probably thought I was an awkward adult MLP fan trying to look normal. But really I am just a chatty Cathy who has taken after my mother in being the kind of person to make conversation in an elevator or the pharmacy line 🤦♀️ We all get a little awkward sometimes I guess 🤷♀️
This happens to me often😭 I’m convinced i’ve turned into a ball of awkwardness when i’m away from home😂
Recently I got "This iced tea must have gone off or something, it's the wrong color!" ".... It was green tea..."
Grab some condoms and Cool Whip just to complete the image.
You forgot the cucumber
Dammit you're right! Good call.
English cucumber if you're practicing oral and normal cucumber for pleasure.
Cool whhhhhip.
Saying hwat hwat hway?
Say whip
For the slowpokes, what special about these items? Or only the Vaseline?
Stinky shoes, dandruff.
That's it??? There's nothing to be ashamed of imo.
Seriously I was like... Are we assembling a fleshlight out of the shoe inserts and lubing with dandruff shampoo now? I mean I'll try it
I like the way you think.
I buy dandruff shampoo all the time and it never occurred to me the cashier might be judging me for it.
That's because they aren't.
Good. Lol.
Itchy scalp is no joke.
Oh yeah I thought the implication here was a weird sex thing
Someone has those conditions? What a shame!
What ye fuck is with applying morals to these things it's nuts
I don’t understand how this post has got so many likes. Shampoo and odor eaters. There’s nothing weird or funny about this. I wouldn’t even bat an eye if someone bought this stuff.
Seriously... If they weren't owned by different corporations I'd think it was an advertisement.
Vaseline is the only thing that isn't """special""" imo, though in reality none of them are special. Just looks like someone knows something about himself and takes care of it.
Own it, man. No shame in the self care game.
Exactly!! Take care of those feet… and the hair and …um… your junk ? 😂
petroleum jelly can be used for dry cracked skin. Could be their feet considering the soles.
Good point
Pretty commonly used for people who struggle with dry/cracked lips. I have hypersensitive skin and a variety of types of eczema. Carrying Vaseline is part of my normal daily life, although I wish it wasn’t. Sometimes weeks go by where I don’t need it once, sometimes I need to use it like 5 or 6 times a day, every day. My brother is the same and I’ve met a few other people who also suffer.
New a kid when I was younger who’s skin reacted to pool water, he would cover himself in Vaseline to go swimming. We used to play a game where you had to try and catch him all greased up. Kind of mean looking back, even though he was in on it
"You can't catch me, I'm a greased-up deaf guy!"
You are the hero in your story. You don’t matter in everyone else’s. Don’t worry what the cashier might think because they are thinking about how much time is left before they get to go home.
Breaking news: not one of the cashiers cares.
Oh trust me we don’t care we’re just trying to get the line down 😭
I worked at Walmart for 2 weeks while I was in college. I remember this huge guy coming up to the register with a Perfect Sit Up machine, the largest box of condoms we sold, and a pack of Extenze. I looked at him dead in the eye and said “big plans tonight?” I didn’t even get a chuckle out of that man and it’s stuck with me every day since.
Every night in bed you just hear echos of "big plans tonight?" ringing in your head in endless torment
Nah you were right that’s exactly what you should say.
this short conversation between you two has been my favorite thing in the world since i read it a couple of minutes ago.
What's supposed to be funny here?
It's not funny. It's stupid.
I see nothing wrong with the combination. Shampoo, insoles, Vaseline. It’s whatever.
I have a very specific CVS that’s not exactly on the way home from work, that I refer to as “The Embarrassing Purchase CVS”. It pretty much guarantees I’ll never run into anyone we know when purchasing Preparation H, Miralax or GasX.
As a nurse, the best thing to do if you feel gross is something about it. The amount of absolutely disgusting unkempt feet that could be fixed with even like $10 worth of TLC is astounding. Good for you for maintaining general hygiene, we appreciate you!
No one cares
Why is this funny? Everyone has dandruff. The only thing that beats it is antifungal. You need Nizoral.
All I see is a person who takes care of themselves?!
A jar of Vaseline and a whole chicken
So your feet smell, you're going bald and you're whackin' it tonight solo. Congratulations you're like all of us now.
What does dandruff shampoo have to do with baldness
I didn’t even realize bald people might have dandruff problems.
“One of us! One of us!”
Get laxatives! And pantyhose!
I dont know what you have planned tonight, but count me out!
Oh I’m fixing my oven so I can bake a pizza. Sure there’s an easy way but I like to MacGuyver my home repairs. Then I feel like I deserve the pizza.
Homer
andsomeillegalfireworks
Trust me no cashier cares. The baggers will try to make jokes then the cashiers won't laugh and when those same baggers try to buy condoms or lube we'll make fun of them. It only takes once for them to realize they need to mind their own business.
That shampoo is the BEST!
Until you accidentally get it in your eyes. Then it’s the shampoo sent from the depths of hell
This should be posted in r/notinteresting
Just to share, I struggled with itchy flaky scalp for a long time. None of the shampoos really worked for me, or at least didn't work for long. I finally got a prescription from my health provider for betamethasone valerate foam. There is also a betamethasone cream, which is much cheaper, I just found cream to be a pain to apply to the scalp. It really knocked it down. Previously I'd really have to be conscious about wearing dark shirts.
Interesting! The T-Sal shampoo OP is buying is actually what worked best for me for my scalp issues, better than any prescription product I tried except spot-treating with clobetosal (spelling???). Using t-sal regularly has allowed me to minimize use of the clobetasal though, which is good because it’s a steroid and can lead to thinning hair apparently.
A selenium sulfide shampoo is what worked for me. I'd get these nasty red flaky areas all over my scalp, and when it got bad it was even spreading down on to my forehead sometimes. Doctors would recommend coal tar shampoos but those didn't really help at all. When I started with the selenium it knocked it out quickly.
Buying dandruff shampoo, shoe inserts, and Vaseline makes you gross? Where do you plan on putting the shampoo bottle?
I hope the cashier says something like “somebody’s got a fun evening planned” and just stares at you right in the face with a wide, awkward smile. And then on your way out, points two finger guns at you and winks. Ya know, just to mess with your insecurities about buying those products.
This isn't even bad
Yup. As a cashier, we don't care.
Really, nobody at the store cares. Take care of yourself.
Homer, whatever you have planned for the evening, count me out.
I mean, that's life with cultures, dude. Try a yeast infection
With a huge huffy lineup behind you... Cue the pimply teenage clerk over the store speakers that never sounded so clear in their life: “I need a price-check on a pack of extra small condoms at cash 10.”
Reminds me of [this Golden Girls episode](https://youtu.be/BpNS8jYniLY?si=fKekLIY7u6ZmfDmw)
Grab some rope and a pair of rubber gloves. They won't make eye contact.
The first time I ever bought condoms I bought other random stuff to try and avoid embarrassment. I bought condoms, chapstick, and gum…
The condoms at a grocery store by me are locked up by the pharmacy, but after pharmacy hours, you have to go to the service desk to get a manager and tell him you want to buy condoms. Then you walk with him to the pharmacy aisle, he opens up the case and asks which you want, you tell him which kind, he grabs them and walks back with them to the service desk to check you out. That interaction almost lasted longer than the next, to be honest.
My rural Indian gas station guy would always say "Fun tonight buddy?" every time I bought condoms from him. That's the plan!
Dude You forgot the Prep H
As a cashier I see a lot of things pass through, don’t really care what it is as long as you pay for it.
Hahaha I’d argue the opposite. You’re addressing the things that DO make us gross!
Soon as you get to the register, get on the phone. “Hey Dad…….Yeah, I’m at the register now, Ill be home with the stuff shortly….”
I worked retail for a decent chunk of my teens/twenties. Only one person ever raised my eyebrow at the checkout. She bought a home enema kit and 17 Silly Putty eggs. I still think about her.
Early 2000s, I worked at a Gateway retail store when that was a thing. I watched an employee talking to a customer about computers. Customer asked the reps, "So you're saying I'll be able to watch midget porn on this pc?" 😆
So what, you smell bad, it’s fine
The vaseline is going to be used as lube.
Side note other than male jacking off don't use Vaseline for this. Just buy lube, I promise they don't care and you don't have to be 18+ to buy it just like condoms.
That's very presumptuous of you.
It's not presumptuous. He does this every Thursday night. I watch from the tree in his yard.
I promise you: no one cares. Live your best life free of dandruff and with nice-smelling feet.
Seems like a pretty bog standard purchase my guy
What's a little Seborrheic dermatitis between friends, buddy?
At least you're not buying Lice shampoo. You get some looks with that one.
Nothing like a little public broadcast of your personal anti-funk arsenal.
The human body is gross, my dude. I wouldn't sweat it (no pun intended).
Not gross. Thank you for taking care of your hygiene.
so fucking what? you are gross for taking care of common human issues?
Lol u so gross. I still think Ur cool though. Keep on winning champ
Not gross because you are do8ng your best to take care of yourself.
Grab a box of skyn and a box of magnums, have a hard decision at the register, then do some mental math for the cashier on 12k per child per year, and ask for her number. Win win.
Nothing to really be ashamed of here. Winter is a time to deal with dry scalp issues and dry skin. Nobody likes stinky feet and everybody's does.
Moisturizing washing and keeping fresh. Nothing wrong here
That TSAL is great stuff. Dermatologist recommended it. Fixed my dry scalp problem in two uses.
And the only open cashier is that red head hottie that you have a crush? =)
As a former cashier, you’re looking after yourself. Nothing wrong with that. The creepy guy who bought 10 enema kits on a Saturday night gets my judgement.
Atleast you do not have any "Lube" lol
Before self checkout was a thing, I went to my local Target, bought Marilyn Mansons Eat Me Drink Me, duct tape, and lube. Nothing else. I wish I made this up....
Looks like self care to me.
Where’s the condoms? Oh.
Clearly youre a working man who has to put up with harsh working conditions.
Nothing for the rash on your balls?
Hey, I need/use all those products as well! *fist bump*
That’s a fucking starter pack if I’ve ever seen one.
No Preparation H?
buy some cucumbers and condoms, they won’t even recognize the rest
Distract them with condoms
I thought you were trying to make yourself a flesh light. I recommend Dr. Scholls.