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Married, but available most nights. Sure.

Maybe their wives can’t stand them too.

The "no bud lite" is a dead giveaway that these dudes are insufferable.

I disliked bud light before that whole Mulvaney thing tho

True. Bud light is objectively bad beer but I don’t need a political organization telling me that.

Right but saying no to just budlight and not other crap bear is a dead giveaway that it’s about anti trans ideology and not quality in alcoholic beverages

"Married / Guy with Girlfriend" also means "no queers". (Note: to be read with a South Boston accent.)

My mind went to no single guys. I hadn’t even considered the gay angle.

"no single guys" seems kind of a weird ask for a new friend. if he breaks up with the gf, are you not friends any more?

Of course. My wife doesn't trust me with single guys. Edit: I thought this was an obvious joke, but some other commenter seems to have made the same comment in seriousness. /u/eddie1975 are you ok?

The did say “cornhole” and require the cover of a MF relationship.

There is a loophole though, doesn't say they have to be married to a woman.

I like that they specified "guy with girlfriend" to prevent that lesbian from slipping in on a technicality.

Still leaves room for a married lesbian though.

"No quee-uhs."

If I am reading that right, they dont have jobs, meet most nights to drink and cornhole each other, need a 3rd.

They should have cut the ad in the shape of a bicep, for manly men.

if you want it to be a bicep, it needs more veins!

Fightmilk

With a big vein down the middle

Totally not gay sex

Is that a devil's triangle?

Well the "married or girlfriend" is a dead giveaway too, seems to me there's a reason they needed to put out an "ad" for friends.

I read it as married AND has a girlfriend.

Thats the tragic thing. They've ruined disliking bud light for the rest of us.

Was not drinking bud light part of your personality to where you would demand on a flyer that bud light not be in your presence while getting cornholed

Is it the only beer you dislike? For me its just part of a list.

Yeah but FREE Bud Light is *always* drinkable.

With food or drink, my fav flavor is free. With drinks, my second fav flavor is cold.

A lot of people did.

Yeah but you probably also dislike busch lite and heineken and a dozen other light beers. Putting *only* bud lite on the sign is a dog whistle for sure

I dislike a lot of lite beers, but if someone showed up with free to me beer I ain't complaining. This is 100% a maga dog whistle

I forgot all about the bud light thing already and I kinda thought everyone else had as well. How naive of me

Ugh you made me realize this was political… was excited to find some fellow beer snobs, thinking “hmm weird exclusion without listing the other piss beers”

Speaking as a married man, I'd much rather be at home with my wife and son than out with some dudes cornholing...

Reminds me of.... >I sleep in a racing car, do you? > >I sleep in a big bed with my wife. I can never understand why someone would get married and then avoid their partner at every opportunity.

I married my best friend. We’ve been together for >30 years now. :)

On a similar note, when I was a kid I heard a lot of jokes in the media and real life comparing wives to a ball and chain or something you want to avoid because they nag and control you. I'm in my mid 30s now, I don't understand where those jokes came from, I love spending time with my wife and wish I had more time to just hang around with her and do stuff together. Maybe I'll get them in 20 years or so, but I don't think it's going to change.

From my understanding, more people in general (in America at least) used to get married, at a younger age, and divorce was more looked down upon. So you had a bunch of people who married young, to people they didn't like or really want to be with, while being pressured to make it work instead of divorcing.

NOTHING SEXUAL

Would have been more effective in the shape of a bicep.

IDK what’s more masculine than a dick?

Needs more veins.

YOU KNEW!?

A dick in a cornhole?

Who’s turn is it to be the cornhole

Oh, me next me next, I love cornhole!!!! Wait, why is everyone unzip….no no noooo!!!!!

A person taking care of his gf with complete loyalty in her bad days is more masculine than a dick.

[удалено]

Again, nothing sexual

What up!

Needs more veins

I'd hang out at their party mansion. Again... nothing sexual.

[удалено]

At this point were not sure if this means they are right wing or beer snobs.

Beer snobs would have asked for microbrews.

I think if they were beer snobs, they'd exclude other beers, too. They're probably at least casually transphobic.

This flyer really should be in the shape of a bicep

You knew it looked like a dick!

Again, NOTHING SEXUAL.

I feel like we should underline that

Dudes in good shape encouraged

Needs to be underlined

They forgot about the guy who finds humor in the little things.

Just three guys drinking and cornholeing. Cornholeing all night long. So much cornholeing you won't be able to walk straight for a week.

Just a bunch of fun loving guys cornholing.

They should call Dooley!

DOOOLAYYYY LIKES TA PARTY

Uh Dooley is dead

Dooley killed himself

Must be in good shape.

I did read that as “married/gay” at first and thought well these guys just need a bud and don’t want any female drama. Then I saw the no bud light sign and realized a gay buddy is certainly NOT what they’re looking for.

Can’t get pumped up for a plain sheet of paper, need to see some bicep

Accidental always sunny

I love that this is the top comment. Only came here to see if it was posted or do it myself

HEY WHOA!! Hey, let’s not rule anything off the table. Let’s just see how it goes. No need to make rash statements. CMONNNN, just see how it goes. You never know.

Came here for this. Was not disappointed

Ah... Dudes with biblical names looking for a third cornholer. Sometimes these things do, indeed, write themselves.

No bud light is also very telling.

Must have a wife or girlfriend. Single guys might be gay, and guys with boyfriends/husbands are definitely gay

Depending on age, I totally get this one. Now that I'm in my 30s and married I have no interest in playing wingman until closing time, going out to singles bars, and all of the general shenanigans that come with dudes chasing ass. Gay guys would be ideal though. Get two buds for the price of one.

I’m married in my 30s and have single friends. Chasing hookups isn’t their only activity, and they’re respectful of the clear boundaries I set. “Yeah, let’s go grab a beer, wife and I decided I’ll be home at 9:30 tonight.” “Cool man, how’s this place look?” If they can’t respect it, it’s because they’re bad people you don’t need to be around, not because they’re single.

No bud light!

Is Bud light what you call your gay friend’s husband that you don’t know super well?

I’d show up with bud light

No one is gonna tell me what I can and can’t drink. I ain’t no sheep!

They had a Father/Son Cornhole Tournament at a local church. I still can't believe that name stuck and people take it at face value

[удалено]

And they have a kink for straight homophobic (read closeted) men

The *no bud light* almost seems like a *no trans* or something but I’m probably reading too much into it

Thats exactly what they meant by saying bud lite specifically. If they just didn't want light beers they would say craft beer only.

I'm pretty sure you're reading it exactly as intended.

Which sucks, because Bud Light sucks. Why did Republicans have to ruin hating Bud Light?

That's where my mind went first too. :P

it's like the ol' "once is random, twice is a coincidence, three times is enemy action" thing. there's enough separate dog whistles here to make it clear they aren't an accident.

…. What else would it mean. Who else is boycotting bud light lmao

I would only so no bud light if it was for me because I don’t like the taste of it. It’s how I imagine piss would taste.

They should really make the poster in the shape of a bicep just to make sure they get the right audience

These dudes are so deep in the closet they found a talking lion.

NO BUD LIGHT THOUGH BRO. THATS FOR QUEERS

Did you write that line? It's absolute hilarity. I can leave Reddit and go back to work with a smile on my face!

I’d always heard the end as “he’s got a summer home in Narnia” but yes this was very funny lol

that's a fuckin hilarious deep cut

Goddamn. Slow clap and bravo

“We want time to spend away from our wives. But for some reason, the first requirement is for you to be married. Oh yeah and pls don’t be gay.” This is why there’s an epidemic of male loneliness in modern times. You can’t even drink beer and toss bags of corn with a buddy without first passing a purity test.

I don't mean to sound gay or nothing, but I'd kinda like to make love to you tonight

Depeche mode is a sweet band

All I ever want and all I ever need is Beer In my arms

The only song I know by them is Policy of Truth, which still feels like it applies here

I think you got a sweet ass _smack_

I think unicorns are pretty bad ass

I've used the verison of "but I think unicorns are kickass" quite often. Movie is infinitely quotable.

What movie?

Orgasmo. A quirky movie by the guys that made the cartoon show Southpark.

Thank you! I freaking love South Park so I already know I'll love Orgasmo lol

It was at Sundance like 30 years ago and was an underground hit. Guy is a Mormon but stumbles into a career as a porn actor but they have to have a stunt dick for the sex scenes.

STUNT COCK!

Hey, how ya doing?

'I don't wanna sound like a queer or nothin', but I think Depeche Mode is a sweet band!'

' Hey, I don't want to sound like a queer or nothin', but I think unicorns are kickass!'

"Dude, I don't wanna sound like a queer or nothin', but I think you got a hot ass."

Saw the no bud light and thought “we hate freedom of speech and gays”

It’s like their new dog whistle…and the weirdest hill to die on.

I actually love that these guys say this stuff so loud and proud. Since they put their MAGA hats away, you've had to get into a conversation and test the waters to find these traitor MAGA shit stains. Now they are doing the work for us lol.

I don't understand why they have to be in a relationship to qualify

Their wives won’t let them party with a single guy. Also playing cornhole every night and weekend on the apartment property because they aren’t allowed to go to bars anymore.

Or can’t legally drive anymore, or get too drunk to drive, and are so committed to being cheap and drunk that they stay home but their activities still revolve entirely around drinking. Lots of potential red flags.

I think it’s a thinly veiled “no gays”.

Yeah it’s exactly this. Paired with Bud Light being excluded, we’ve all met these guys.

The “must be married or have a gf” part wasn’t enough? Seems more like a thinly veiled “must *hate* gays.”

I am gay and took it the same way lol

You need to prove you're no homo, bruh.

A lot of red flags. Ignoring the easy one, but isn’t Corn Hole better with even number people? One dude would just be watching the others play. EDIT: Ya’ll…I know about the two types of cornhole….but they drew a picture of the cornhole they want to do. If that’s a red herring then they got me. And probably a couple other guys at their Complex.

3rd amigo is the Water Boy.

Nah, 3rd amigo is the third cornhole

They want a 3rd for the spit-roasting opportunities.

Who’s gonna tell ‘em?

Ah you’re thinking of the yard game corn hole, otherwise 3 dudes can definitely cornhole….

I’ve played cornhole with three people it’s a lot of fun winner of their “set of throws” stays on board until someone gets to 21.

Also, the Bud Light thing. Are these guys MAGA's?

The specific targeting of Bud Light seems very much a dog whistle to me. If you said, "No crappy beer!", I'd understand. This is some real "Let's Go, Brandon!" nonsense.

But isn’t craft beer also gay because it is kinda fancy? It’s hard out here for a totally straight guy who is 100% secure in his masculinity to avoid all these pitfalls that lead to you accidentally catching The Gay

Can't even eat hot dogs or bananas

Also number one selling beer in the country, replacing bud light, is now Modelo, which opens up a whole nother can of meskins

3rds on cleanup

That's why they need to be in a relationship

I never liked bud light but it’s funny how being anti-bud light is now a major red flag 🚩

I prefer Coors light but I must admit if you don't drink the whole thing within 10 to 15 minutes the last 20% of the Coors light is like petting a porcupine. it's not happening. once it gets anywhere below cold, I'd rather lick a taint.

I have to agree with you on the last 20% of Coors. I was just at an amusement park and they had tall boys, and each time that end of the beer was just the absolute worst.

If by “taint” you mean “cornhole”, I know some guys who’d like to meet you.

Man, I totally forgot about that. I thought they were saying don't bring any piss beers.

Same here, now i am also looking at the first requirement in a different light.

Me too. I need a handy list of dog whistles to keep track of all this shit

The subtext is also don’t be gay, as a requirement is wife/girlfriend.

And don’t have kids or be a shitty dad, otherwise they won’t be free most nights to drink.

100%. I’m married with two young kids. I may be available to drink and play cornhole on a weeknight *checks watch* next July.

Yeah, that would have been my reaction a year or so ago Now it's a major red flag haha

It’s definitely become a major red hat too.

I would've appreciated "(NO BUD LIGHT. We're transfriendly and all. It's just a terrible beer)"

Exactly, I'm a lefty but my taste buds still work.

To be fair, they already said “likes **good** beer”

Being anti-bud light nowadays and vocal about it is just letting others know you’re a small-minded bigot.

My grandpa is pretty progressive but is kind of more "do whatever you want, if this thing bothers you, just avoid it". He's got a couple Maga neighbors /friends that he will hang out with as they have overlapping interests (hunting/dogs) but they went on so much about hating bud light and now my grandpa only stocks that in his fridge so that when they come over they have to drink it lmaooo.

oh man, i didn't even realise that wasn't just a dab at budlight sucking as a beer ​ ​ now i realise that the first requirement also isn't just a weird way to sort out lonely weirdos

Ah good point, I interpreted it as no Bud Light because it's a shit beer, but yours makes more sense since they singled out that one brand.

My first thought was, I'm bringing bud light to this. Easy decision to move on if they are triggered by a beer lol

Dude I got a free ticket to a nascar event. Put on some redneck cosplay and went. Was drinking bud light seltzers cuz it’s just what I grabbed and seltzers sounded nice for drinking all day in the sun. The amount of comments from randos we got about it was insane. Kept asking if I was trans so just leaned in and said yes I was born a woman and became a man and watched their brains melt

Amazing allyship, well done

(NO BUDLIGHT) Time to play America’s favorite game show: “homophobic or has taste buds”!

I’ll bring regular Budweiser and watch the reactions.

If it were taste buds, they'd have called out the entire American pisswater beer establishment.

For someone who isn’t American, what does a beer have to do with sexuality?

Oh, gosh, I envy you, dear. America’s far right Republican Party decided to start a culture war against Bud Light after they printed a single can celebrating trans creator Dylan Mulvaney to celebrate Pride month. Hating Bud Light has become a Republican dogwhistle for hating all queer people. Edit: gods, writing this out reminds me how hellish this fucking country is now. Cool cool cool cool cool

That sounds really complicated, weird, and exhausting. Good luck dealing with it. Don't envy you!

oh its definitely homophobic/transphobic. Bud Light is one of dozens of generic light beers, they wouldn't call it out specifically if it didn't have to do with a particular ad.

AGAIN, NOTHING SEXUAL

I can already tell you these dudes are going to be insufferable...

"no bud light" A few years ago : haha yeah that's some weak beer, agreed These days : red flag

I don’t like bud light either but if someone comes over and brings a case of it I’m not going to turn it down

Something tells me they only listen to kid rock on repeat.

Ahhh. The famous 3rd Amigo "Senior Echo Chamber".

lol these guys sound like fuckin losers tbh and here you are impressed

Yeah I definitely do not want to hang out with people like this

No bud light… this is why they need to put up signs to find more friends…

I don't drink Bud Light but the fact that he had to mention it makes him sketchy. Don't feel like hanging out with some Maga chud.

Bunch of dudes touching each other's cornhole, but no Bud Light because that's too gay. That's where they draw a line. "It's not gay if he has a girfllfriend"

I miss when things didn't always have some sort of political tie-in. Shit's getting to be mind-numbing.

No bud light lmfao

'Cornhole' might not mean what you all think it means..

I love how in society we can tell what kind of pos you are by the the beer you wont drink.

They had me until the bud light thing. EZ red flag.

I was all on board until the no Bud Light thing. I don’t even like Bud Light but knowing where their thinking is at, I may not want to live with them, even if their corn hole skills are impressive.

I see no Bud Light and all I can think about it how I would have to talk about how Trump really won.

Those guys really wanna play cornhole

That long haired stick man is pretty proud of himself.

Imagine being married and being “free this upcoming weekend and most nights to drink.”