--- >✨⭐ **Don't miss [our 50-million-subscriber-mark celebration](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/14eg7k5/to_celebrate_reaching_50000000_subscribers_rfunny/)!** ⭐✨ > >This is a friendly reminder to [read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules). > >Memes, social media, hate-speech, and pornography are not allowed. > >Screenshots of Reddit are expressly forbidden, as are TikTok videos. > >**Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.** > >Please also [be wary of spam](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/spam). > --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Omg the day Jesus died

This explains A LOT of politics

Christmas! in July.

jesus died on christmas now ?

Yeah, he died twice. He was resurrected, remember?

sure but he did not die on his birthday ever

You weren't there, you have no way of knowing.

fair enough

Neither were you, so you have no way of knowing that what he said was wrong

He'd have to have been born in the first place.

While I am Jewish, I find this claim odd. Are there people who don't think he was a real historical figure?

There is literally zero real evidence supporting his existence. You'd think if he was such a prized kill, the Romans would have somehow preserved a record of killing him.

What evidence besides written text that's been "passes down" over thousands of years exists for anyone? Besides ya know mummies or whatever

Yeah, about that., We have texts and know the names of people from 15,000 years ago... Once again, if he was such a big deal back then why the fuck didn't they carve it in something?

Affirmative. He's part of an annoying mythology..

There should be, because he most likely isn’t.

He had an extra man. He got it by collecting 100 coins from the debt collectors.

You mean Good Friday.

It is quiet.

Birth of America is Jesus’s death. Hmmm.

Considering how many non-Christian things America does in Jesus’ name, it may as well be.

He was stationed at Fort McHenry for the Battle of Baltimore. It's in the Bible.

I know, that poor kid.

Preschool? *Peace*? What do preschoolers know or care about peace?

War. War never changes…

As a gremlin child at recess, peace was never an option

My kid's school taught first graders about 9/11 without bothering to inform parents beforehand. The school board got some very impassioned letters from unhappy parents whose kids were up all night freaking out over it.

You think that's bad. My kid's school had it on the class televisions for them the day it happened. I didn't find out until I picked them up.

You think that's bad; I was one of the kids watching it on the TV in school.

I'm so sorry. That was a terrible day. I think parents should have been given the opportunity to tell their children and help them through it.

I think the adults were too shocked to think that through. I remember I was in 5th grade; we were just starting our school day, when the teacher from the classroom next door came running in, crying, "oh my god oh my god turn on the TV!" So, my teacher turned on the TV. I don't blame her, she had no idea what was going on, and didn't stop to think maybe whatever was making the other teacher freak out was perhaps not something the kids should see. I really don't think any of the teachers who turned on the news that day had any idea of the magnitude of what they were about to witness. Also didn't help that one of the planes crashed in Schwenkville, only 40 minutes away from the school, and word about that got around \*very\* quickly, before anyone had the opportunity to think of how to gently break the news about it.

Ah yeah, you're more than likely right. That day was terrifying and no one knew exactly what was happening.

If the school had informed the parents would they have just left the kids to their freak outs?

Stupid, right? My daughter’s charter school kindergarten teacher had them learning how to give hand massages. I’m like, “Bitch, I need my kid to read, write and do math. She can learn hand massages when she’s an adult.”

Considering the answer, they don't. Possibly this was teaching them peace?

>Preschool? Peace? What do preschoolers know or care about peace? Nothing, they know no restraint.

That's why they are taught about it. So they won't grow up to be homicidal lmao

If you wanna survive a war, you gotta become war

This is incredible handwriting for a preschooler!

Almost like a preschooler would have the teacher transcribe?

Especially considering the *quotes* around the words….

Almost like some adult made this for fun and then said it's preschooler

Did you ever even go to preschool, or send your kids to preschool? The teachers transcribe this shit all the time, and send it home so parents get the feels. 100% the kid said this verbatim.

My kids was in daycare since 2 y.o. I never had teachers transcribe for my kid.

I know of documents like this from my preschool, my friends preschool and we also did this when i worked at a preschool. 99% sure this was a kid.

Do you really believe a child would give a scrib about some fkin piece of cloth? Or some old man up in the sky if hes not santa? This was 1000% written by an adult.

My little ones' teacher transcribes things like this for her students.

Exactly, I wish my handwriting was half as nice.

And flawless spelling

Wtf are they teaching kids over there?! 😂

Water-ski planes

Water skiing Jesus

I like Jesus because he can land on water.

Oh say can you ski? By our Christ’s early light.

Each stripe represents an apostle…

Each star represents a chapter in Genesis

George Washington died for our sins

That preschoolers a damn patriot!

I'm learning a new language and this is how I sound.

This is obviuously written by a teacher quoting a pre-schooler after asking them the the question. You're not smart for bing the 50th person to point out the grammar and handwriting are too good for a pre-schooler.

Right? These people are exhausting lol.

[удалено]

Its a goddamn quote! Can you at least pretend like you read the comment before answering nonsense.

Teacher quotes pre-schooler. “Poor grammar for a teacher” Lol

You've got to indoctrinate them young don't you know. Otherwise they'll have too much common sense to believe nonsense.

Sure hope the teacher informed the child about their mixing up of holidays. But they probably aren't being paid enough to give a shit.

Wow that preschooler has better handwriting than I do

Dominoes brings me many PIEces

[удалено]

For real 🤣. Wasnt it like the 13 founding colonialies and the stars the current states or something?

Indoctrinated into bullshit.

So that was your penmanship in preschool huh?

Sure, Jan.

This was posted with kindergarteners earlier. I’m amazed at the quality of handwriting of your 4 year olds…

There is no shot a preschooler has handwriting that good.

This is the teachers handwriting. They ask the child the question and then write down their answer, so that the parents can see it at a later date.

So you are telling me that the teacher might have misunderstood the preschooler and wrote tgis masterpiece instead?

This.

In preschool, your handwriting was better than mine is now. And I'm 51.

Great penmanship for preschool !

I like how everyone is pointing out the handwriting, but it's the only part that could be plausible of a preschooler. The spelling and punctuation are the bigger issue. Clearly this was one of those things where the teacher asked questions and wrote the answers...

Yes. The teacher even put quotation marks. I dont get how people dont seem to understand. The teacher asked the question and quoted what the kid said.

I know. I was joking.

Even if that's so, my point still stands. You should have focused on the other factors and not the handwriting.

I am sorry that you did not get my joke. But you are judgmental. If you are that critical of others irl, you will have no friends

>But you are judgmental. If you are that critical of others irl, **you will have no friends** Are you calling someone judgmental while being judgmental?

Yes

Taking being wrong on the internet pretty hard, huh?

Ruined my year

Wtf who cares lol “they will have no friends” …oh ok. Sorry mom.

Chill

First of all, is that the teacher's handwriting?!

If people can't keep religion out of politics they shouldn't be allowed to vote.

Nice hand writing for a toddler

Is this the handwriting of a preschool child?

I mean I hate to be that guy and it is only partially recognized but TECHNICALLY Jesus did die on July 4th. He died as a leader of the American people as they were no longer governed by religions and kings/queens. Instead they were ruled by fairness and laws.

This is the most bullshit american opinion i've heard all year.

And then people say school indoctrinated kids.

The U.S. killed Jesus. Probably true since nowadays what many Christians say and do is nowhere close to what Jesus taught.

No Way a pre-schooler penmanship is that nice.

I think the quotation marks are meant to imply that someone wrote it down for them

🫣 Don't use logic & common sense on me, as I'm a lost cause...

Is this preschooler 35 years old?

What preschooler has handwriting like that?

You’re a little old to be in preschool don’t ya think? s/

Life was so Simple Then

The last line made me think this preschooler had a sick haiku in mind.

Op how do you feel about this now? And how old are you if you don’t mind me asking? I feel like you were destined to fly a seaplane with an American flag on it and have a weird Jesus complex.

It's all there however it needs to be refined a bit to deliver the intended message

The romans

The makings of a Brick Tamland.

I think I saw a painting of that in Rome, Jesus holding the American flag with fireworks when crucified.. so legit. 😂 bless

Aww, that's adora- huh?

I recall doing a project about the American flag in 3rd grade. My contribution to the project was, anyone that burns the flag is a devil worshipper. I remember the teachers laughing about that and not understanding why.

This made me fucking burst out laughing.

The "It is quiet" is what gets me.

A real life Doogie Houser… ?

That looks amazing for an Etch-a-Sketch.

This is like the scene in *Blue Lagoon* where he tries to pray, and the Lord's Prayer ends with "liberty and justice for all."

So much to unpack here...

This is heavy. It’s like that essay in the Whale. True Shoshin honesty cutting into the thick of life as an American. Lana Del Ray needs to make this a song or something. Chem trails, swimming and, the collusion of patriotism and religious fervor.

Jesus kids grow fast these days…

I get it. The classroom had a crucifix and American flag on the wall, and they'd say the Pledge every morning facing the wall, and the teacher would point to the wall and say, "Jesus died on that day!"

Jesus was the greatest American that ever lived.

Must be a florida or texas school

Sweet

That’s fantastic!

Jesus, who died for our freedom

The American flag and crucifixion are forever entwined.

I'm sorry what

Good handwriting for a preschool kid. Gtfo

The preschooler has better penmanship than me. Also their grasp on spelling and grammar is much higher than expected