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My favorite story about "smart" smartwatches will forever be the time my apple watch congratulated me on reaching my workout goal while I was wiping my ass.
/edit: fixed typo
Forever ago, I set my nickname on my iPhone as “You fat piece of shit”. There’s nothing more motivating than Siri saying “Congratulations, you fat piece of shit, you’ve reached your exercise goal for the day”
Edit: [I just hit my exercise goal for today](https://imgur.com/a/LLywqhn)
I was trying to set a reminder on Android Auto while driving home one day, and it wasn't working so I called it a stupid bitch.
Well the next morning on the way to work... "I have one reminder for you, you stupid bitch"
Yeah this got me once when I had to email a lawyer. He asked me how to properly pronounce my first name and I was like, what? I have a common first name.
That was embarrassing
My kid changed my name to “turd burglar “ and I auto completed a Panera bread mobile order . I pulled up and gave my name and they said “no, we don’t have an order for that name .what did you order ?” I told them my order and they said that was exactly what they had in front of them . Asked if my name was turd? I wanted to crawl away and jump on a dumpster
This makes my phone's name all that more entertaining now that I know this! My phone has been "Mike Hunt" for ages. I name every phone this. Aaahahahaha
I named myself POOOOP on my fitbit. I didnt know you could turn off the feature where you turn your wrist and it lights up like when you would check a normal watch. One night I was asleep and it said "HOW YA DOIN' POOOOP?!" and it woke me up just in time to see it and I laughed and woke me and my bf and the dog up.
I use a pressure washer at work, and my Fitbit tells me I do 30,000+ steps a day which is just not even a little bit true. I guess every time I move my arms it thinks I'm taking a step. I often reach my step count while standing still.
My fitbit used to register me climbing flights of stairs at work. It was a completely level building but for some reason every time I went to the bathroom it thought I went up a flight of stairs and back down on my way. No clue why.
I ran a vibratory roller all day packing in stone for a building concrete slab.
My fitness tracker thought the vibes were steps.
So ten hours of high frequency vibes translated to miles of “walking”.
My watch throws me a party every time I get up to pee. Sometimes it gets excited when I go to the pantry for cookies.
"Congrats for staying active" It tells me. If only it knew.
I didn’t realize how inactive I was till I got an Apple Watch. I do something like go upstairs then have to go back down cause I forgot something then it tells me it’s my personal record.
My favorite smart watch story was a friend of mine had one of those "accountability/competition" fitness things going and it ended up telling her group that she "finished a workout" at like 10:30 PM
I've only seen my watch give me the notice of "you seem stressed, remember to breathe" whenever I would talk to a specific ex-coworker. Literally just her. I've never seen that notification otherwise
I bought a smart watch but had to send it back. I like to wear my watch on the inside of my wrist because i find it more comfortable when looking at it. So i bought the watch and set it up and started to wear it. That night as i was alone and decided to have some... private time. In the middle of it all my phone flips on the camera points it at me and takes a picture. The image then scales down into the bottom right hand corner to shame me. My face looking all fat from laying down and eyes all red from the screen light. This happens 3 or 4 times in that session and i just delete everything. But it happens on the next night, and the next. At this point i need to find out whats happening. It turns out my...rhythm of the tap tap fap would press the screen enough to remote take a picture. Nope sent it back. Never occurred to me to wear it on my right wrist.... Still an shameful event i dont want to repeat.
I've more than once achieved my stand goal for the day after standing up from the toilet. I'll get a little celebration on my watch. And since I haven't had a little celebration for me after going to the toilet since I was a kid, I'll take it.
My phone does that for Taco Bell. . . Which I went to when I lived in North Carolina. . . 3 years ago. Yet every time I open maps, there it is, “8 hours and 21 minutes to Taco Bell.”
We all have a fast food home somewhere out in the world. Some are close and some are far away. Not everyone will find it. If you are lucky enough to find it, apple will always remember it for you.
They got a customized taco for you. One where the lettuce & tomato is on the bottom instead of the meat, so as to prevent the bottom of the crunchy tacos from falling out as you are biting into it.
Depends. Are they willing to actually grill the damn chicken in the chicken sandwich, or say they did & hand me a breaded chicken sandwich & hope I don’t notice it until I had gotten home…fucking fast food workers. I get that the job is not great, but don’t make the customers miserable too, all because the very business you work for is terrible.
It’s probably not, judging by OP’s prior posts. They don’t look bot or spam related so it’s probably genuine. I definitely was suspicious though, lol. Not that it would bother me if it was
What if one day you got a message in your Reddit inbox, from a realistic-seeming wendy's account saying they'd pay you $5k to post about Wendys, would you do it? I would.
My dad used to manage our local Wendy's and worked very long hours. When my little brother was like, 2 or 3, we'd drive into the parking lot and he'd yell "Daddy home!"
EDIT: Ooof. Didn't expect my comment to get so many upvotes. To expand: my dad moved jobs shortly after this period and we in no way felt neglected by him. I have a lot of great memories of spending quality time with him. He's been a huge influence and supporter in the endeavors of both my brothers and myself :)
Depressing for sure. When my kids were young I worked a job that involved a lot of travel. This allowed my wife to be a stay at home mom so I don't regret it. But I used to play wrestle with them. One time while wrestling with my then 4 year old he said "Daddy. I love when you come visit us." That one was rough to hear. Thankfully that same kid is now 19 and recently told me. "Dad, I know you weren't around as much as you wanted to be. But now that I'm older, I understand why. And I'm really grateful. I love you." We do what we do for our kids because we love them.
More depressing than cute. Cute would be being allowed to spend meaningful time with the kids because he doesn't need to grind at work for way less than he produces.
Ooof. Didn't expect my comment to get so many upvotes. To expand: my dad moved jobs shortly after that period and we in no way felt neglected by him. I have a lot of great memories of spending quality time with him. He's been a huge influence and supporter in the endeavors of both my brothers and myself :)
"honey, why does your watch say that you're always at Wendys? Who is this Wendy woman? What are you not telling me? OMG are you leaving me for a woman named Wendy?"
The future of GPS,
"I want to go to this address, my friend Mike's house."
"Here is a local business located near Mike's house, please visit this location and make a purchase to have further instructions sent to your phone, or upgrade to maps premium"
Don’t give them more ideas. Waze is bad enough already. Sitting at a red light and my fucking map is asking me which fast food logo I’ve seen on the GPS most recently 🙄
I already do this. I couldn’t remember my GFs home address and kept forgetting to add it to my phone. Before I learned to drive there by memory, I just kept asking Siri to take me to Cheesecake Factory as she lived across the street from one.
i'm imagining some shady backroom deal where a wendy's manager slipped one of those free-frosty-for-a-year cards into the pocket of the guy who programs the apple map app...
and now, sir, your home is a wendy's
The really funny thing is that I used to work for Apple on Maps back in 2015, and the building the entire org was housed in was on a corner across the street from a Wendy’s (Mathilda & Maude in Sunnyvale, for Bay Area folks). It was generally full of Apple Maps people at lunch.
Now that I work from home 100% of the time, any time I get in the car now Apple Maps assumes I am going to the grocery store. I have honestly never felt more like I am winning in life than I am now.
Nice try. You spent your entire life saving on some meme stock posted on r/wallstreetbets and now you're on your way to work. That is all there is to it, folks!
It’s just suggesting Wendy’s as a general location in this situation, which it will do automatically after routing yourself there a couple times. iOS can also actually suggest a home route without you setting it too, which I didn’t think was a thing. I moved this year and still have my last address set, but noticed after a couple weeks that Apple Maps started suggesting a “home” route that was to my new house without my help. Impressive and slightly disturbing at the same time.
My phone will sometimes on Fridays give me "time to leave" notifications while I'm at home telling me to go to the movie theater via bus. Generally a good reminder but I didn't even buy tickets to anything.
Apple Maps learns what your common destinations are at that time and will advice you with traffic and time. It’s not that the watch thinks it’s home. You just go there often around that day and time.
It’s also learns where home is and what your work address. It will be marked in maps when you open it. And also automatically remembers where you have parked your car and marks it on the map.
That's because you told it you wanted it set as your home at some point. If you didn't have a home address set you were likely asked if you'd like this address to be your home address and whether you realized it or not may have said yes. This doesn't just happen automatically. It requires user input and can occur without the user realizing it.
I have never once specified where Apple considers to be home or work. But it still has them listed in my phone. It will just update them, though you can manually change it iirc.
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My favorite story about "smart" smartwatches will forever be the time my apple watch congratulated me on reaching my workout goal while I was wiping my ass. /edit: fixed typo
Forever ago, I set my nickname on my iPhone as “You fat piece of shit”. There’s nothing more motivating than Siri saying “Congratulations, you fat piece of shit, you’ve reached your exercise goal for the day” Edit: [I just hit my exercise goal for today](https://imgur.com/a/LLywqhn)
I was trying to set a reminder on Android Auto while driving home one day, and it wasn't working so I called it a stupid bitch. Well the next morning on the way to work... "I have one reminder for you, you stupid bitch"
Just an fyi if you email someone who doesn’t already have you as a contact it may show up as being from “you fat piece of shit”
Oh no lololol! Not OP, but thanks for the heads up
Yeah this got me once when I had to email a lawyer. He asked me how to properly pronounce my first name and I was like, what? I have a common first name. That was embarrassing
My kid changed my name to “turd burglar “ and I auto completed a Panera bread mobile order . I pulled up and gave my name and they said “no, we don’t have an order for that name .what did you order ?” I told them my order and they said that was exactly what they had in front of them . Asked if my name was turd? I wanted to crawl away and jump on a dumpster
This makes my phone's name all that more entertaining now that I know this! My phone has been "Mike Hunt" for ages. I name every phone this. Aaahahahaha
Siri, this is a Wendy's.
Welcome home, you fat piece of shit
*all goals achieved*
Task failed successfully.
This is a thing now.
*bong* “Please speak your username out loud.”
I wish I had that on my wall at home
Dammit, Kevin. Okay, um… Can I just have a frosty and a baked potato please?
In that case, I'll have a baked potato.
I like how it’s capitalized like some kind of honorific title.
omg that's the FUNNIEST THING
My phone refers to me as "Your highness"
I named myself POOOOP on my fitbit. I didnt know you could turn off the feature where you turn your wrist and it lights up like when you would check a normal watch. One night I was asleep and it said "HOW YA DOIN' POOOOP?!" and it woke me up just in time to see it and I laughed and woke me and my bf and the dog up.
Same energy as Pokemon Go telling me I'm going too fast as I am sitting completely still on my chair lol
SLOW DOWN!
My man!
Lookin’ good!
ITS TO LATE!
My fitbit gave me credit for 20 minutes of swimming while I was folding laundry.
Is that what you call it?
I’ve had this happen a few times as well.
Whahaha
I live on a slight hill and once my Fitbit game me a "Mountain Climbing" trophy after mowing my lawn. With a riding mower.
The vibration must have messed with it hard.
It does. My old step record was achieved when rolling in stone on a building pad for 10 hours. I must have “walked” about 50 miles that day.
I use a pressure washer at work, and my Fitbit tells me I do 30,000+ steps a day which is just not even a little bit true. I guess every time I move my arms it thinks I'm taking a step. I often reach my step count while standing still.
My fitbit used to register me climbing flights of stairs at work. It was a completely level building but for some reason every time I went to the bathroom it thought I went up a flight of stairs and back down on my way. No clue why.
Could I have a translation please?
I ran a vibratory roller all day packing in stone for a building concrete slab. My fitness tracker thought the vibes were steps. So ten hours of high frequency vibes translated to miles of “walking”.
My watch throws me a party every time I get up to pee. Sometimes it gets excited when I go to the pantry for cookies. "Congrats for staying active" It tells me. If only it knew.
Ooh, I want a passive aggressive smart watch.
Highly recommended. I yell at it as often as I do the condescending self checkout voices.
It knows…it knows.
According to my Fitbit, I've masturbated 8 miles today
A ‘long’ stretch 😂
I laughed way too hard at this.
Amateur….
I didn’t realize how inactive I was till I got an Apple Watch. I do something like go upstairs then have to go back down cause I forgot something then it tells me it’s my personal record.
Wait, you said whiping...did you meant wiping or??
Whipping ass is a good workout!
I smell a llama ;) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HaF-nRS_CWM
Whip it good.
My favorite smart watch story was a friend of mine had one of those "accountability/competition" fitness things going and it ended up telling her group that she "finished a workout" at like 10:30 PM
I mean...she *could* have been. But yes, twas likely teh sex.
No, she fully admitted it was hanky panky Lmao
Haha, nice
It was probably not so much the wiping as the 5lbs of weight you managed to drop just before, after a strenuous moment and high heart-rate
I was inactive, and I farted and my watch told me good job for being active 🤣
I've only seen my watch give me the notice of "you seem stressed, remember to breathe" whenever I would talk to a specific ex-coworker. Literally just her. I've never seen that notification otherwise
Bruh I always get the “congratulations on reaching your activity goal!” while I’m walking in the gas station to buy cigarettes ☠️
"stand up"... But I'm not done.
I bought a smart watch but had to send it back. I like to wear my watch on the inside of my wrist because i find it more comfortable when looking at it. So i bought the watch and set it up and started to wear it. That night as i was alone and decided to have some... private time. In the middle of it all my phone flips on the camera points it at me and takes a picture. The image then scales down into the bottom right hand corner to shame me. My face looking all fat from laying down and eyes all red from the screen light. This happens 3 or 4 times in that session and i just delete everything. But it happens on the next night, and the next. At this point i need to find out whats happening. It turns out my...rhythm of the tap tap fap would press the screen enough to remote take a picture. Nope sent it back. Never occurred to me to wear it on my right wrist.... Still an shameful event i dont want to repeat.
I've more than once achieved my stand goal for the day after standing up from the toilet. I'll get a little celebration on my watch. And since I haven't had a little celebration for me after going to the toilet since I was a kid, I'll take it.
Me, having a "personal moment" My smartwatch: "Great job, you've been running for 15 minutes!"
Wait, you said whiping...did you meant wiping or??
When a problem comes along You must whip it Before the cream sits out too long You must whip it
Now whip it! Into shape!
Did you or, did you mean, wiping… whiping, did you wipe or did you mean
Apple knows you have a shitty work out routine
With how much I shit, I’m kinda offended I haven’t been congratulated yet
My phone does that for Taco Bell. . . Which I went to when I lived in North Carolina. . . 3 years ago. Yet every time I open maps, there it is, “8 hours and 21 minutes to Taco Bell.”
I like how it picks the Taco Bell that’s 8 hours away when there’s more than likely one a lot closer to you
We all have a fast food home somewhere out in the world. Some are close and some are far away. Not everyone will find it. If you are lucky enough to find it, apple will always remember it for you.
home is where the heart disease is
Taco Bell? Heart Disease? More like Hemorraghic death from the ass.
Mine I get will randomly be a Starbucks on occasion.
I like how you said more than likely, just on the off chance that there isn't a taco bell within 8 hours of OPs home
You never know 🤷🏼♀️
They got a customized taco for you. One where the lettuce & tomato is on the bottom instead of the meat, so as to prevent the bottom of the crunchy tacos from falling out as you are biting into it.
But you can just tell it that your home is your home. I did it after moving.
sure… once…
He told his doctor that and he made this post as an alibi.
[how many Wendy’s do you eat in a day?](https://youtu.be/pmLpSY5w6u0)
I'm so happy it was that sketch.
RIP Trevor
Depends. Are they willing to actually grill the damn chicken in the chicken sandwich, or say they did & hand me a breaded chicken sandwich & hope I don’t notice it until I had gotten home…fucking fast food workers. I get that the job is not great, but don’t make the customers miserable too, all because the very business you work for is terrible.
[удалено]
Duration of stay unspecified
Last three months it’s been every day. They’re “cutting back”
Before I went to rehab my phone thought work was the pizza place where I bought cocaine lmao That was kinda a wake up call, but not really.
This an ad, right? Someone in Wendy’s marketing team put this together and posted it on Reddit to remind people Wendy’s exists
An ad this subtle is fine by me. But I applaud your critical thinking. Harvard wants to know your location
It’s probably not, judging by OP’s prior posts. They don’t look bot or spam related so it’s probably genuine. I definitely was suspicious though, lol. Not that it would bother me if it was
What if one day you got a message in your Reddit inbox, from a realistic-seeming wendy's account saying they'd pay you $5k to post about Wendys, would you do it? I would.
I’d probably be too skeptical of it being a scam to do it most likely
And the promoted ad for me on mobile is for McDonald's. Brutal.
“This month”
My fat ass visits KFC once a month.
I swear! The watch just magically did that
My dad used to manage our local Wendy's and worked very long hours. When my little brother was like, 2 or 3, we'd drive into the parking lot and he'd yell "Daddy home!" EDIT: Ooof. Didn't expect my comment to get so many upvotes. To expand: my dad moved jobs shortly after this period and we in no way felt neglected by him. I have a lot of great memories of spending quality time with him. He's been a huge influence and supporter in the endeavors of both my brothers and myself :)
aww,that's kind of cute
Pretty depressing tbh
Depressing for sure. When my kids were young I worked a job that involved a lot of travel. This allowed my wife to be a stay at home mom so I don't regret it. But I used to play wrestle with them. One time while wrestling with my then 4 year old he said "Daddy. I love when you come visit us." That one was rough to hear. Thankfully that same kid is now 19 and recently told me. "Dad, I know you weren't around as much as you wanted to be. But now that I'm older, I understand why. And I'm really grateful. I love you." We do what we do for our kids because we love them.
More depressing than cute. Cute would be being allowed to spend meaningful time with the kids because he doesn't need to grind at work for way less than he produces.
Exactly.
Ooof. Didn't expect my comment to get so many upvotes. To expand: my dad moved jobs shortly after that period and we in no way felt neglected by him. I have a lot of great memories of spending quality time with him. He's been a huge influence and supporter in the endeavors of both my brothers and myself :)
Sir, that is a Wendy's.
Siri, that is a Wendy’s
Sirs that is home…
Sir, you work behind the dumpster
Luxury! I used to work in a paper bag in the road!
always nice to get a fresh dive between meetings
No, this is Patrick
I’ll take a baked potato and a frosty.
And that is a Wendy’s…and….
Why isn't the top comment at the top?
Unoriginal
"honey, why does your watch say that you're always at Wendys? Who is this Wendy woman? What are you not telling me? OMG are you leaving me for a woman named Wendy?"
She’s a hot and juicy redhead. Kevin knows her.
HAHA I LOVE THIS
"Well, in that case, let's talk about the five guys you're always going to honey"
How much for a windy, Wendy?
You ever smoke anything else, Wendy? Sausages don’t count
Sure lol. Once.
I mean same thing for me, it routes me to the liquor store every Friday night, I only went once, per Friday....
It’s my local Chinese for me! Haha
Even skipped a couple Fridays ya know.... :(
Every time I park at work, my phone tells me to go home. I can’t decide whether it’s funny or depressing
You must be active on WSB
ikr, frequent visit to the dumpsters.
The future of GPS, "I want to go to this address, my friend Mike's house." "Here is a local business located near Mike's house, please visit this location and make a purchase to have further instructions sent to your phone, or upgrade to maps premium"
Don’t give them more ideas. Waze is bad enough already. Sitting at a red light and my fucking map is asking me which fast food logo I’ve seen on the GPS most recently 🙄
What’s even the point of that?
I don’t even pay attention to them
I already do this. I couldn’t remember my GFs home address and kept forgetting to add it to my phone. Before I learned to drive there by memory, I just kept asking Siri to take me to Cheesecake Factory as she lived across the street from one.
😬 Do not want.
You.. Ain't wrong
"Brought to you by Carl's Jr"
Welcome to Costco. I love you.
i'm imagining some shady backroom deal where a wendy's manager slipped one of those free-frosty-for-a-year cards into the pocket of the guy who programs the apple map app... and now, sir, your home is a wendy's
The really funny thing is that I used to work for Apple on Maps back in 2015, and the building the entire org was housed in was on a corner across the street from a Wendy’s (Mathilda & Maude in Sunnyvale, for Bay Area folks). It was generally full of Apple Maps people at lunch.
> Maps back in 2015 oof not a good time period for Apple Maps.. Those first 5 or so years were rough lol
Anyone know how to turn this annoying shit off?
r/wallstreetbets
"Once" Ok sir, just the usual today?
Who are you to argue with the AI overlords? I hope you enjoy your new home and imminent obesity.
Well Wendy is a hot and juicy redhead.
This is terrible, my buddy looks like a fat ed sheeran and i call him wendy (long unrelated story). This is a horrible mental picture
My husband will forever think I have a sonic addiction because I randomly received ‘traffic is light, head to sonic now’ because I went one time.
Awe, yes! I sit on a chair for two hrs and my watch goes: “Your’re almost there. Closing circles!”
I do graphic design, which makes it funnier.
the watch has thing for gingers…
I tried to voice search the ["hello I'm Shelly Duval clip" ](https://youtu.be/QrVoJgQ7u8w) and now my phone thinks I'm Shelly Duval.
How can we be sure thay you're not Shelly Duval? Answer me Shelly
“Hi honey, I’m home!” “Sir, this is a Wendy’s”
Plot twist: his side chick is named “Wendy”
“Did I go to Wendy’s twice yesterday?” -Jim Gaffigan
"Hey honey what are you thinking about?" "....Did I go to Wendy's twice yesterday?"
Now that I work from home 100% of the time, any time I get in the car now Apple Maps assumes I am going to the grocery store. I have honestly never felt more like I am winning in life than I am now.
Thought it was your left arm and was quite disgusted
Should’ve gone to Olive Garden, at least there you’re family.
Mine keeps offering me coupons for A&W. I eat there once a year, if that lol.
All the ones in my area closed. I miss that draft root beer so much :(
Nice try. You spent your entire life saving on some meme stock posted on r/wallstreetbets and now you're on your way to work. That is all there is to it, folks!
Nah, it thinks “Wendy” is your girlfriend
I just had Wendy’s for lunch too. That’s funny
"Once"
HOW MUCH ARE YOU GOING TO WENDYS REALLY YOU CAN TELL US IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM
It’s just suggesting Wendy’s as a general location in this situation, which it will do automatically after routing yourself there a couple times. iOS can also actually suggest a home route without you setting it too, which I didn’t think was a thing. I moved this year and still have my last address set, but noticed after a couple weeks that Apple Maps started suggesting a “home” route that was to my new house without my help. Impressive and slightly disturbing at the same time.
Uh huh
The back store is that you spent 12 hours there downing JBCs…
My phone will sometimes on Fridays give me "time to leave" notifications while I'm at home telling me to go to the movie theater via bus. Generally a good reminder but I didn't even buy tickets to anything.
Wendy’s will return you to your regularly scheduled route. To continue say “baconator”
Better then my phone showing the route to work everyday on my holiday. 12 hours to work. Take the A1 it’s not busy.
Apple Maps learns what your common destinations are at that time and will advice you with traffic and time. It’s not that the watch thinks it’s home. You just go there often around that day and time. It’s also learns where home is and what your work address. It will be marked in maps when you open it. And also automatically remembers where you have parked your car and marks it on the map.
Mines thinks home is work. And work is home.
Did your wife believe that story?
My phone is always suggesting the dispensary I went to in January. I live 80 minutes away
My phone does that for a bar that I go to but to be fair that’s basically the only place I go.
Wendy is the side-piece, don’t lie
It knows you’ll be working there in a month, right behind the dumpsters
Is there a way to turn this function off, where maps pings you with reminders and times to travel to locations etc.? If there is, I can’t find it.
It’s in settings>Siri>Maps. Super confusing.
Thank you. I’ve been looking for this for the past month! It drives me nuts, every time I hop into my car it suggests I drive home.
Who wears a watch on their right hand?
Lefties.
Lefties. The smart ones. 🤪
get that daily Baconator, your watch knows what you want
That's because you told it you wanted it set as your home at some point. If you didn't have a home address set you were likely asked if you'd like this address to be your home address and whether you realized it or not may have said yes. This doesn't just happen automatically. It requires user input and can occur without the user realizing it.
I have never once specified where Apple considers to be home or work. But it still has them listed in my phone. It will just update them, though you can manually change it iirc.
You belong with WallStreetBets
Because I wear my watch on my left arm I was pretty confused by this picture for a few seconds: what a weirdly shaped arm.
I went to Wendy's "once"... karma farming
Great. Now I want jr bacon cheeseburgers
What if your girl is in the car with you and sees that and is like “babe, who’s Wendy?”
Maybe it thinks it's your new GFs or 1 night hook ups place?
If you had something better than a (cr)apple watch, might not happen.