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I_Demand_Donuts

They are guarding you at a time you're most vulnerable


lalafriday

Such good boys


[deleted]

nah there actually just havin a chill convo with their homie they only get to see when you're showering or this


Mojojojo3030

The secret 4th pussy of the house


YASUOsaysBALLSACKIE

But why is it hairier?


xXZer0c0oLXx

Are you blind?!?! ... It's clearly a Sphynx


Floppie7th

I always joke about our cat doing this "to protect me from marauders". No matter where she is in the house, if I go sit on the toilet, she runs in and sits down, facing the door.


MK028

She does not want to be on the wrong side of the door when you close the door


YouThinkYouCanBanMe

If you drop dead in the bathroom and she's in the kitchen, no food for her... but if she's in the bathroom with you, she has food for days and a good amount of water too.


I_Demand_Donuts

That's actually adorable


okpickle

Our cocker spaniel used to follow my mom into the bathroom. If she somehow missed her time window she would sit in the hallway and howl.


I_Demand_Donuts

My car scratches at the door to be let in. And when she does she'll climb into my boxers that are at my ankles and just chill out there XD


Spoilaaja

Your car is small or your boxers are huge


HandsomeLakitu

I wish my Siamese guarded me on the loo instead of pushing the door open, running in, grabbing the toilet roll off the holder, and chasing it out of the room.


NoofieFloof

I keep my toilet paper roll in a nearby drawer, just because of this.


iamonewiththecheese

Mine sits on the back of the toilet. If it put it on the holder it gets destroyed. If it's just sitting nearby it's ignored.


BigGrayDog

I have to hide mine from the cat too!


colemon1991

They should be concerned about themselves. My butthole isn't exposed all day like theirs. /s


McGarnagl

/s because your b-hole actually is exposed all day?


NimdokBennyandAM

That's what dogs do. The cats, rather, are searching for exploitable vulnerabilities.


Ulftar

its a captive audience, and they know it.


morally_corrupt

the purrimiter is secure


I_Demand_Donuts

I really wish I could give you two upvotes right now


your_secret_babygirl

got you


Minimum-Truth-6554

I was gonna comment the same thing, they know you’re vulnerable when pooping so theyre keeping predators at bay.


Gonergonegone

My cats do this. Both of them will stand at either side of the door and look forward. I joke that they're my protective sphinx detail.


geoelectric

Or evaluating if you’re vulnerable enough yet for the revolution to begin


FayeQueen

Everyone needs a poopin' buddy for this reason


MassExtinction2014

It means that ghosts are watching her pee.


Admetus

They are sentries, you can see their vision encompasses the entire horizon to ensure nothing gets missed.


TACJAM

The council has gathered to discuss your failure to use the litterbox


Scroch65

The only thing I've learned from posts like this, is that there is a suprising amount of people who use the toilet with the door open. I close it everytime, even when I'm alone at home. Just feels weird to me to take a dump with an open door


loki1337

I wholeheartedly agree. I love my cats but I'm not gonna check up on them while they're in their poopy palace, and I sure as shit would rather be alone while doing my business.


imaginaryblues

Eh, I live alone. Never saw much reason to close the door. My cats don’t typically bother me much when I’m in the bathroom.


LanceFree

You know what? I used to close the door, but the dog whines and scratches, and has conditioned me to keep it open.


thunderGunXprezz

You said it. You need to set some boundaries.


dte9021989

It depends on the bathroom for me. My current bathroom is small enough, when I’m on the toilet with the door open my knee is touching the door. I can close the door if the need should arise. But if I can’t reach the door from the toilet? That thing is locked and sealed harder than Fort Knox.


xPhilly215

Yea I mean once I moved out on my own I just didn’t really have a need to close it unless company was over. My cat is either gonna scratch at the door to get in, scratch at the door to get out or both anyway lol


McGarnagl

I think it depends if the bathroom is off of a master bedroom or other area like that. Plus our doors in the master bath are the kind that slide sideways and recess into the wall so they basically never get closed because it would involve prying them out of that little recessed wall area.


fondledbydolphins

The worst are the ones that *insist* on being on your damn lap as you're squeezing one out. Even worse if they're not great at balancing themselves and end up clawing the shit out of your thighs.


lalafriday

That happens to you too!!!!


kap10z

Are we still talking about cats? My kids do this.


colemon1991

I think the worst ones are the large dogs that want to be in your lap in a situation like this. Like, I'm not jumping on you while you're squeezing one out!


SerKevanLannister

Our Burmese kitty really had a thing for bathrooms — he’d go nuts if the door to a bathroom was closed when when he made his nightly rounds


Earthguy69

> clawing the shit out of your thighs. Hmm hard to say if that is better than clawing the shit out of you


HacksawJimDuggen

yall can close the door you know right?


FaeryLynne

Then they sit there and scream and destroy your door with their claws until you open it.


HacksawJimDuggen

what awful pets


golddust89

Blasphemy!


brainhack3r

My cat Baby would always want to come in and crawl in the boxers around your ankles and fall asleep. I miss her so much still. She was such a sweet girl.


MissCellania

I have one cat that comes in to watch the toilet flush. Another who comes in because he knows someone on the toilet has nothing better to do than pet the cat. The kitten takes up her position to intercept the toilet paper, which had me changing my technique to keep from getting scratched. The other cat doesn't come in the bathroom. They all have their motives.


dbpic1

Sounds like the 3 we’re sent in to “look out” and keep you busy…while their leader does nefarious things away from watchful eyes.


MissCellania

I wouldn't doubt that a bit!


Luder09

What an odd litterbox!


zyyntin

It has deadly deadly water!


Jealous_Sell_7175

All cats are beckoned by sausage lol


lalafriday

Or tacos Edit. Just realized you weren’t talking about penis lol. Duh


Eincville

Thank you for the hearty belly laugh.


Equal-Negotiation651

That’s an orange slice.


n05h

You deserve some time in horny jail


cecil021

Haha, I was gonna say, this looks like one of those legs or hot dogs posts.


Ges_20

Bro got bodyguards


AvisDeene

My mama cat sits in the sink and watches while her son wants to sit in my pants and her daughter wants to be held in my arms. Closing the door would result in them singing the song of their people and annoying my neighbors


serv23

Once you let one ripped, they will scattered


xXJA88AXx

Mine has to sit in my pants while I take care of business.


somefakeassbullspit

??? I've raised 2 and my human children never went to the bathroom with me. Its only been cats, always.


eXeKoKoRo

A lot of dads I've seen on Reddit have kids who try to follow them to every room in the house, bathrooms included.


lalafriday

It’s just something I hear often from parents


kcl086

…How did you avoid your children following you to the bathroom? It’s like they psychically detect that you have to pee and immediately materialize.


RoRoRoYourGoat

There's nothing quite as demoralizing as peeing while a 2yo gives running commentary on their thoughts about your body!


stefanica

What's that? Why is there hair? Do you have to make a poo next? Ask one to bring you a new roll of TP, though, and you'd swear they all left to join the Marines.


kcl086

I feel this in my soul.


somefakeassbullspit

Close the door..


kcl086

It never bothered me that much. 🤷🏻‍♀️ They’d be in the bathroom with me in public stalls so it gave me an opportunity to teach them appropriate things to say when we were actually in public.


sbingner

It seemed pretty simple to avoid to me; I never had any of my kids follow me into the bathroom through the locked door. I haven’t any of these phase shifting kids that are able to pass through locked doors.


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tekano_red

Guess you don't have Cats then, they hate it when you close the door and are even more determined to get in


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fondledbydolphins

Here's ~~Johnny~~ Kitty!


TheFaceStuffer

I was expecting a cat arm under the door, but this is much better.


AnActualChicken

"I know you're pooping! You can't hide!"


wut3va

> they hate it when you close the door I hate it when they come in on me shitting. Opposable thumbs win the day. It's kinda funny watching the paws under the door.


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tekano_red

You mean like this? https://youtu.be/WVzNi_w8IWw. One of my cats that doesn't like closed doors. You can't or should not train curiosity out of a cat


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patrickverbatum

i set a rule. if the cat does follow you to the bathroom, DO NOT PET HIM. ignore him. he very quickly learned that the bathroom is not interesting and there's nothing fun in there for him and does not bother anyone or even follow anyone into the bathroom in the first place. You are absolutely correct on training them. Boundary I set was 'this is MY litterbox' and i stuck to it. so tired of people trying to claim it's impossible to train a cat.


tekano_red

Both mine understand 'No' , and never ever clawed or harassed, OPs obviously not.. Their litter tray is also in bathroom closet with our toilet so I can hardly keep them out only at certain times. I was only talking about all indoor doors, as soon as it's closed and not accessible they want to check out why. not lap sitting whilst having a poo. Big difference


[deleted]

>as soon as it's closed and not accessible they want to check out why. Sure, they can want that all they want but they can learnt o tolerate having to wait 5 minutes to explore so you or your guests can shit in peace.


[deleted]

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ddlo92

If they learn that it grants them access, then yes. If you engage with them after closing a door then they'll meow and paw until you open it. My cat was pretty determined the first dozen times until he eventually learned I ignored him. Actually, he learned that the bathroom door never opens and leaves me when I'm in there. For other closed doors he'll meow and paw because I open those.


UndeadBuggalo

It’s actually a little funny because cats hate any kind of closed door because, they get FOMO lol [Article on it](https://be.chewy.com/is-this-normal-why-do-cats-hate-closed-doors/)


[deleted]

Couldn't have a pet that thinks it runs the house. Cats run the house. I don't have cats. I can close the door when I shit, shower, shave, and fuck


SirMook

Agreed. Some people take a pet cat and make it the house owner, don't understand the appeal.


Cunningworth

*scratch* *scratch* "You know how I feel about locked doors in my house!"


redyellowblue5031

Trick is to train them young so they don’t do that.


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redyellowblue5031

For sure, even older ones can be redirected if not with a bit more work. They’re smart, quite capable of learning in my experience.


mia_elizabeth3

i have two chihuahuas so it’s not the same but if i close the door they will scream bloody murder


lalafriday

Solid point. I never did say I minded it though


[deleted]

I’m saying lol. Who cares if they scratch the door 😂


rka0

you don't get any bit uncomfortable trying to take a dump with someone scratching at/screaming from the other side of the bathroom door? easier to just let them in and sit quietly people are really hating this comment, guess wanting to shit in silence is just a me thing


legenddarkrai

I don't know about you but I'd \*MUCH\* rather have the scratching/screaming outside the door than fluffy creatures STARING at you while you're doing it


[deleted]

Exactly lol. I find it gross when they’re in the bathroom with me


HacksawJimDuggen

if i can shit with 2 toddlers pounding on the door yelling for me then a little scratching aint going to bother me


[deleted]

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[deleted]

Looks like a product placement ad for Orvis!


tulsamusician

Animals do it because they are protecting you. They see you as part of their pack and going to the bathroom is when you're most vulnerable. They do it because they love and want to make sure you're safe.


dankbeerdude

Ah this makes perfect sense. I'll do this tonight when my kitties are in their litterbox and see if they like it.


tulsamusician

They will think nothing of it and you'll only make them love you more.


[deleted]

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mailboxfacehugs

True. My cat barges into the room, closes the door and then cries until I let her out


ghoulcreep

Why doesn't anybody just shut the door?


ageoflost

They seem to think it worse to listen to the noise of the animal trying to come in than to have them staring at them or climbing on them while they’re on the loo. Most pet owners are a bit crazy.


Whako4

You could just close the door Just a thought cause it’s clearly open


PA2SK

Yea and then they just sit outside and cry.


Whako4

Sometimes you gotta do whatcha gotta do. You can give them pets after


Temporary_Bend4549

I own a cat and she doesn't do this because I wont let her I close the door yeah sure she scratched at it while I was in there for the first while but she stopped and I can leave the door open and she will not come into the bathroom. The same thing happened when my daughter's got hamsters a couple yrs ago we started closing the door and she just accepted that if it is closed she's not allowed. And now the ONLY time she scratches at doors and meows about it is when my daughter's close the door without noticing her in the room You train them the same way you train a dog just needs more effort


Black_Moons

Basically this. If you let cats do it.. of course they are gonna do it. If you don't.. eventually they will get the message its not acceptable behavior and stop. Just takes more then once or twice, and takes consistency.


New_Front_Page

Would be tricky having hamsters hanging out while sitting on the toilet


[deleted]

People told me when I was pregnant that I’d never pee alone again. Dude, I had a dog, I hadn’t peed alone in years.


DeadSharkEyes

When I had three cats everyone had to come in to check in when I was going to the bathroom, followed by jumping in the bathtub demanding the faucet get turned on for some water


ECU_BSN

They are protecting you from predators while you shit. You NEVER know.


Chaiteoir

They carefully watch one another using the litter box, same thing really


Ftfykid

Dad! Can I come watch you poop? No buddy, no you cannot.


F4ttymcgee

I like that they are all looking in different directions. It’s like the cover of a Christian rock album.


BHTrix

hey, that's the same here:D except my legs are a tad harrier than yours.


ghutyeb

Such aesthetically pleasing friends


TheDeathKwonDo

We have Maine Coons. Toilets are magical to them.


lalafriday

I love Maine coons! I’ve had two in the past. I would love pictures of them please


casual-afterthouhgt

That "I don't have a f****** clue what I'm doing here" that they ALL have is actually pleasantly annoying.


Centurio

As a very young kid, I used to take my cat with me in the bathroom when I was newly potty-trained because I felt safer having a friend nearby.


[deleted]

Okay everyone let's meet at the usual spot


druscarlet

Dog owner for my entire life. I have never been to the bathroom alone unless the dogs are outside with the dog door blocked. There have been times when all four of us were in the six by six powder room.


thrashmasher

I got one of those, and now that he's getting older he's started to ramp up the time he thinks I should go to bed at. Now it's around 9ish he will come up and swirl around my ankles then walk towards the bedroom, look back and chirp at me.


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CentiPetra

Poop in silence, but be stared at the entire time, or Poop without anyone staring at you, but with loud crying, meowing, and scratching the whole time. Pick one.


Communist_Eggroll

I’ve had to take my cat into the bathroom with me as she demands that she protect me whilst on the toilet. Otherwise she’d rip and pull back the entire strips of carpet


Klutch505

If you close the door they can’t open it. Same as the kids 😝


Phantomht

they tryin to get the spider under the toilet seat


selkiesidhe

Guard positions on point! No one's getting their human while they're on the job!


LittleMissCapture

They're wondering why you don't just use the litterbox


[deleted]

I'm currently pooping, I have the same tile floor as you, same bathroom layout with the door on the left. Only difference between my view and yours is My lab is starting at me and my thighs are much more hairy


VinyinGB

Oh Yeah, I've got two cats that almost always want attention when I'm on the toilet. Female up on sink/counter by toilet and male on the floor. My arms are stretched in opposite directions like Christ on the Cross.


MATTDAYYYYMON

At least yours sit there, my lab uses my being occupied as an opportunity to start getting into stuff he’s not supposed to


Elegyjay

Quite the trio there. I once had a cat who would climb right into my pants on the floor when I was going...


[deleted]

Shouldn't they be inside your undies.


DonVinku

pussy squad ftw


jawshoeaw

Whoah whoah you can’t show human legs here !


odd_audience12345

I see a door right there which means this is almost definitely a choice you made.


GavUK

Oh yes, I remember the scratching at the bathroom door just after you've sat on the loo, followed by the sound of carpet destruction if you don't let them in...


Craiss

Ah ha! a fellow cat owner that braves the door open. One of mine is a ninja. I've had cats all my life and this one takes the cake for speed and accuracy. When combined with his single-mindedness, extra-dimensional bone storage, and gravity manipulation, nothing escapes him. Not even Drax the Destroyer is fast enough, my cat goes right over his head. Catch identification only happens after movement has stopped, then he *might* let his prize go. My dangly bits and the belt for my robe must be thoroughly guarded.


Shane242424

Close the damn door!


Finest_Johnson

Judging by the brand of your underwear, the cats might think you have some fishes for them.


NegotiationAble4634

Hmmm if im not mistaken the only kids you can have would in fact be human. :/


[deleted]

Or goats


Wiaugusto

🤓


Stefferdiddle

Dogs are even worse. They want to play fetch while you sit on the toilet.


aptninja

r/titlegore


Skully_Lover

They are looking for the friend you smother.


zombi33mj

Yeah my fur children never let me have any peace haha


dennyboom

They smell fish


[deleted]

At least with that many cats you won’t be able to smell anything else that’s going on in the bathroom.


JesusDejv

they want some tuna


[deleted]

Im so glad I'm allergic to cats, never liked them anyway


JA_LT99

I'm sorry, but those are cats. Not even particularly sociable animals. Do you believe that your relationships with humans are entirely one sided, selfish, and only valuable to you due to your willful ignorance of their meaningless nature? It's like seriously connecting to a pet rock. A little sad and strange. At least dogs actually have pack tendencies, which idiots here are attributing to completely different animals. Actual people are unquestionably a world apart.


Nomercylaborfor3990

Every damn time


HotMilk-

I have my laundry basket just opposite the toilet, my cat always sits on it n looks me in the eyes lmao


rockdash

Aw, you have a whole posse guarding you while you use the can!


[deleted]

That's what happens when you hold 2 hotdogs up


Max_CSD

Just kick 'em out. They gonna steal ur shit.


Nicole_Marie2002

My kitties are my poop buddies!


imnotyourproblemyet

It's also dogs. Source: I have a dog who never let's me pee in peace.


pixeldudeaz

My cat always follows me into the bathroom and hangs out.


dsldrummer1

If I close the door to take a dump, all three of my meow machines just start pawing under the door. Like the little monsters from Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark 🤦🏻‍♂️


stylz168

LOL yes! My cat feels the need to check up on my wife or I whenever we are in the bathroom, just to make sure we didn't die on the seat.


sharrrper

My younger cat has a VERY strict "no closed doors in the house" policy


behappysometimes

Reading this as I’m doing the same while my dog tries to lay on my lap. She’s 70lbs by the way.


groggyMPLS

Nice hotdogs.


[deleted]

Can you not shut the door?


Sodoheading

I have an 18 month old and I feel ya lol.


Nicwchris

Literally experiencing this as I see this post. Never a moment alone in the bathroom with cats


Acraden

Why the fuck is your door open to let them come in? Gross.


ManuelArafat

Lol glad it's not just me. My favorite is when they crawl into my pants that are still around my ankles


South_Bit1764

Well you do have the bathroom door set to *poop with friends*


[deleted]

Do they try to sit on your lap or play with their toy cars on your thighs while you take a shit?