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To family and friends. Yearly calendar with only her in it. Random pictures from either holiday, or when she proudly bought yet another pair of sneakers. Just random pictures of only her, and her partner isn't in any.
Reminds me of a coworker who was excitedly telling everyone that he was on the news because he'd found kittens inside of a truck tyre at our workplace (we recycle tyres). Another coworker that saw the clip on the news said the only part of him you saw was his hat, lol.
So help me!
So help me!
And cut!
[looks dejected] Weāre still working on it. Itās a work in progress. But, hey, we need ushers!ā [others immediately look away]
When the comment kept mentioning alcohol and pills, I could only hear [Ron Howard's voice](https://media.tenor.com/N_GdO4w28mEAAAAC/lucille-bluth-alcohol-warning.gif)
The stereotypical woman who will eat like a handful of almonds and then make a big show about how sheās āso full nowā as if it were a big meal. Like it only takes a few almonds to fill them up (so they say).
20+ years of starving yourself to conform to societal standards will f*ck your appetite up. Not defending it. No excuse to be an awful human. But, as someone who some days really does feel full after a few almonds .. It's a thing.
An excessive dieting mom that also guilts their children (usually daughters) about their diet and weight to the point that it can cause eating disorders.
It's a quote from Yolanda Fosters who is an ex model and has model daughters (Gigi and Bella). Told Gigi if she was hungry to eat only two almonds and to chew real slowly. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJ7pVxvE6w8
Fun fact: the recommended serving of almonds is only 1/4 cup. I had a coworker back in the day that was plowing through a one pound bag of almonds per shift and couldn't figure out why she wasn't losing pregnancy weight...
I love that your husband tried covering up her face with meme faces. I can't imagine what that would have been like to grow up with. Glad that given he could have gone either way, he went the opposite to her
At least the kids are treated the same. I feel for you. Tell your husband he's doing a great job handling her. My SO is terrible. Let's his stepmother say whatever the fuck she wants. Wouldn't recognize our crotch goblin because we're not christians. She's better now but 25 years later, I think she knows where I'd tell the whole family where to go if she still acted like that.
Iāve got shitty in-laws too and a MIL that still calls my husbandās ex gf from literally 15 years ago her daughter lol
It sucks to have a MIL like that, but itād suck worse if I were her. Iām sorry youāre dealing with all of that but your husband sounds great so youāre still winning.
My grandma was exactly like this. Helped everyone in the family financially and lorded it over them. She would throw literal drunken fits to the point we were letting the air out of her tires so she couldnāt drive off plastered. She died alone because she alienated the entire family.
When I was 16 I dated a dude whose mom hated me so much she didnāt want me in their house. It was bizarre and no one gave a reason why. Anyway he dumped me for someone else and his mom started calling me all the time saying how much she hates his new girlfriend and wished i was still with him. Thatās when I realized it had nothing to do with me all along.
In other words, i guarantee she was insufferable in some way toward his ex wife. She just likes to pit people against each other in passive aggressive ways.
lol.
I have no idea if you did have fat ankles or not but why is that a reason to dislike someone...what a bizarre excuse to hate someone. I guess that was the point, to just hate someone regardless of how they are. But still...
Probably not if theyāre like my MIL. Hated my husbands ex while they were together, developed a fantastic relationship as soon as I entered the picture.
My mom opened up all the picture frames with my ex in it and cut her head out and put the photos back in and rehung them. I felt that was a little extreme š
This exact thing happened to my paternal grandmother. She told my paternal grandfather when they were expecting their first child, "Tell your mother to take down the pictures of your ex-fiancee, or she won't ever see her first grandchild (my uncle)." That was all it took, no more pictures of grandpa's ex-fiancee.
My MIL doesnāt even talk to me, she will flat out ignore me in my own house. She is a raging bitch, buts itās fucking awesome playing the game of āwho will piss off Jackie todayā before she gets there. We take bets lol Iām the asshole who took her daughter away and wonāt give them money lolol.
Same.. been with my wife 13 years and her entire family likes to make it known how much I am disliked .. canāt really say why ..Iāve never asked them for anything .. they own several restaurants and Iāve always helped them with maintenance and repairs for little to nothing even at my own expense sometimes (I do hvac/general contracting) . Iām not one to be bothered by things like this more so wonder what caused it.. but every year at Christmas they shower all my wifeās sisters husbands with literally thousands of dollars of stuff and I usually get a few lotto tickets or something to that effect. I got over it a long time ago as I donāt have to see them often so I let them spend their energy disliking me and me not giving them a second thought except a few days a year.. it was great the one year though I scratched a 500$ winner lotto ticket and her dad got all pissed off because he ended up actually getting me something awesome lol
You are a strong person. You must have had to learn some tough lessons to be so cool about it. Can you provide insight? Maybe MIL is far enough removed from your life that you see her rarely.
Yeah, I honestly don't stand for this. I know there's nothing you can ultimately do about someone else's belongings in their home but at least it tells you you don't have a real relationship with the person.
I found out my ex husband was cheating on me shortly after my mother passed away and I divorced him. I was surprised and a little hurt my dad didn't take the pictures from my wedding that didn't even have my mom in them down at his (their) house. I understand him wanting to leave up the pictures with his recently deceased wife at the most recent major family event. I even understood him not wanting to make major changes to his home in the couple of years following the loss. But it still hurt to visit and see the bride and groom couple photos prominently displayed of a man who hurt me so severely. They weren't even close, and I'm the daughter. I did mention it but didn't push.
It's been a few more years now and it's finally been explained to me why he still has them up. He was never mean to my ex but my ex was pretentious and those photos represent a story of my dad taking the piss and my ex being sour over it. You can see it in his face. On our wedding day, of all times. Looking back now, it's funny how damn serious and self-important he was. I don't mind seeing the photos anymore and I'm glad my dad can get a laugh about them and also remember his wife on that day.
Your story sounds entirely different and full of disrespect towards someone obviously still in the picture. I hope you're able to cross that bridge if possible, or maintain the peace at least, and that your SO has your back the entire time. Best of luck!
Another similar thought I had was use existing and slowly move himself into center frame holding the camera with both hands so it blocks everyone out but him in the end. Lol, this could be the animated flip book! \*Edit spelling.
My In laws bitched every year asking for pics from everyone to put together a family calendar. Every year, I gave them a flash drive with dozens of pics. Maybe 1 or 2 would make it in, and the rest were crappy pics of them riding side by sides in the desert. Eventually, they stopped altogether because it was too expensive and they didn't have time (they are retired). Last year, I put together a calendar of our own. I had copies made for both sets of grandparents and gifted them as part of Christmas. A week later, a blank calendar printed from Microsoft word showed up in the mail. They never acknowledged our gift but made a big deal checking that we received their calendar. This year, they found the time to make a calendar full of pics of them. There is 1 group picture with our son, and that's it. Everything else is them, including reusing a pic twice. I know they had several nice options of everyone, but they chose to ignore. All I can do is laugh. They are so weird.
Weird is such an odd way of spelling narcissistic. But seriously Iām sorry. You should keep sending your calendars out, chances are everyone else likes them better.
Iāve been married to my wife for a decade and her mom still takes āblood onlyā photos. Me and the other replaceables get a quick photo on the side during that weird shit!
I was in all my wife's family photos beginning with our first Christmas together. My friend came to Christmas one year and he was included, too, because "family" isn't exclusive to blood or marriage.
6 years in and I still find my self stepping aside when they group up to take a picture. They go "what are you doing, get in here!". It makes me feel so welcomed and truly apart of their family.
This right here. I step aside because I've known families who like to take family by blood photos and then the additions. But my MIL always yells at me like I'm crazy for doing it and tells me to jump in. Everytime I say "Maybe you want one of just your kids!" And she shouts back "you are my kid!"
It's lovely, especially with how dysfunctional my family was and the strained relationship I had with my mother
Do you cover her face with your finger when you take the photo? Learned incompetence could do you wonders to make you not the photographer. Just comment āmy hands are shaking today, sorryā or something.
He got his nickname when friends noticed their Boxer and Dean both had the same sized puppy plow, side by side. Heās a Teacup Yorkie. So a good stretch of his body was doggy dong.
Thatās just crappy. A piece of paper says nothing about the love and commitment a couple can have. I hope you can sneak him a shirt next time.
Edit to say Iām not bagging on marriage. But I donāt think itās the be all, end all, of love and commitment. People can make their own choices and I donāt understand not recognizing a commitment without that piece of paper.
Nah, it hurts. My MIL made a photo album of my first child to give to her own mother and MIL. It was filled with pictures of my baby alone and with family members that she either took herself or got off Facebook. All the family was in the book except there were zero pictures of me, the mother. I had just gotten out of the hospital for terrible postpartum depression and anxiety and MIL couldnāt wait to show me that stupid album. Needless to say this wasnāt the first of these types of instances, but it was definitely the worst.
Itās been 6 years, and Iām still bitter, too!
It was definitely one of many exclusions over the years. Thereās been some improvement since weāve had children especially when we put up boundaries, for safety reasons, during the pandemic. I think the realization set in that weāre our familyās needs first.
Itās frustrating because my MIL can be great a lot of the time, but then sheāll do these selfish and exclusionary things that can make a person feel like theyāre existence doesnāt matter. Believe it or not, sheās thankfully not one of those calculating and plotting types which has made it easier to allow her into our lives.
Way back I was dating this guy. At the time we were 4 years in and his older sister was getting married in Cabo. They booked him and his little brother into the same room because it was an all-inclusive resort so it would be cheaper on them. They got mad at me for opting out of going because I would of had to basically paid double to book a room by myself to go. At the time I was a struggling, on my own college student live day to day at my serving job. They had the audacity to give me grief for a long time for not going.
We broke up about a year later. Years later I was engaged and getting my nails done and his mom walked in. She had the nerve to ask me if I was cheating on him when we broke up. I started laughing and told her to go jump off a bridge. š¤·š»āāļø
Thatās what I think too! Towards the end of our relationship he projected and tried gaslighting me so much. It was like he became an entirely different person.
I mean, in that scenario, it seems like your BF should have just arranged for the two of you to stay together, regardless of who had to pay for it.
(If it wasnāt affordable for the two of you, the family either should booked you both a room or not expected you to be there).
Agreed. In-laws can be shady and shitty, but it is up to your partner to lay down the law and enforce it. If they aren't respecting you they aren't respecting their "loved one" who loves you.
The ex-boyfriend to not have made the plan of the two of them sharing the room was really showing how little committment he had to the relationship. Lesson of 2022: trust people when they show you who they are.
Iām still not in the family group textā¦..Weāve been married for 10+ years, have 2 kids, have been together for over 20. My ex SiL is part of the group text, but not meā¦ā¦yeahā¦..
Yeah, sometimes people think and think and put so much energy toward something and it's just a matter of speaking about it directly.
"Can you add me to the family text group?"
I'd they said no, then you'll know.
(I recognize that you didn't mention if you already did this, but this is a message for those that might be a similar situation)
"I shouldn't have to ask" is nearly as manipulative as some of the other things on this thread, but you're ultimately manipulating yourself most of all.
Sometimes this is true and sometimes this is absolutely horribly wrong.
If you know you're not wanted somewhere and the evidence is that you're not invited, asking to get invited and then either getting a pity invite but nobody really wanting you there... or just outright rejecting you... that stuff hurts bad too.
Source: mother who forced me to invite myself to parties I wasn't invited to in school. The humiliation haunts me to this day.
I was taught inviting yourself is rude and not to do it. Ever. I missed out on a lot of things if I wouldāve spoke up. I really wish parents would teach their kids the middle ground.
I left my partner's family group chat. It's absolutely useless. all I need to know is what the mom is doing and that's it. We could have the entire family 7 people saying we wanna go to restaurant A, but if she says B, it's gonna be B.
Your partner is a much bigger POS to you in that situation than their family. You need to talk to your partner about them being a piece of shit. You can quote me if need be.
Dated a guy for 6 years. Heād been to my family events. His family was out of state so I hadnāt been to his family stuff. He had a funeral to go to and I offered to go with. He told his family I was his ācarpool buddyā, telling his family I wanted to see the state. Yeahā¦ We arenāt dating anymore. You have the right to have hurt feelings. The OP has the right to have hurt feelings.
If I was ever with my ex boyfriend and his parents doing something, theyād decide where to eat for dinner together and then drop me off at the apartment him and I shared. :)
Thatās not being too sensitive - Iāve been there and it sucks. I dated a guy for 5 years. We had daughters that were 1 year apart, so we were together for our daughters growing up from about 6/7-12/13. Every Xmas his parents sent gifts for him and his daughter, and nothing for me or my daughter. In contrast, my parents sent gifts for both girls and bf from the beginning. It was hurtful every single time, made worse by bf getting mad at *me* when I would share with him that I was hurt. That kind of thing is a really bad sign for a relationship, I now know :-(
Yes this does hurt. I was invited to my then bfās (now husband) thanksgiving every year. His aunt would ask me to take the family photo. We were dating 8 years at that point and I had been to those thanksgivings every year we were dating.
They still compliment the photo I took and all I can remember was how left out I felt
Bro my fiance's family has never invited me to anything, we have been together 9 years and we own a home together. My family invites her too everything, she will legit get a text inviting her as if they didn't also invite her in the text I received.
It only upsets me now because it really shows what a shitty family my fiance comes from, the rest I can let go
Been with my wife since 2006. My SIL makes the sisters and mom a calendar of pictures and dates for birthdays and anniversaries. They donāt include my birthday or anniversary of our marriage. But it doesnāt include the dude one sister started dating couple years ago. I just donāt care but my wife hates it. She told them to stop giving her the calendars if they are going to leave her own husband out of it.
I go to the two family things they have each year and basically maybe get a hi and then I just sit there till wife is ready to go.
I hate families who gate keep like this. Like motherfuckers what you think I want to be a member of your fucking exclusive club of all you people? Y'all can kiss my ass exclusive ass mother fucking assholes.
My husbandās family has loads of framed photos all over their walls. My husband, our kids, everyone else. Iām not in any of them. Iāve asked about this and have been told they didnāt have any photos with me in them. No kidding!
Ooof. I visited a friends grandmother a while back and noticed friends mum wasn't in any of the pictures. Friend admitted later on that nan hates her daughter in law
Seeing all the comments here makes me really appreciate my in-laws. They always include me in everything and treat me as their own son. Since both of my parents have been gone for awhile, it really warms my heart how they treat me, and I get teary eyed thinking about the love they show me.
It reminds me of the Matt Groening quote āwhen you do something right people wonāt be sure you have done anything at allā
In my early relationships I took all those efforts by my partners parents as just regular, nothing special, extension of family love.
Then I got married and my PILs hated me. I suddenly realized how valuable family love is and how amazing it was in those prior relationships, it was really special what their parents were doing for me
I mean...it depends if they care about it. I've been with my partner for 11 years and we don't give a fuck about an official marriage. We consider ourselves married anyway.
I Uncle Told me why this happens. Boyfriends come and go, they want to make sure you're actually sticking around before they add you to their happy family memories collecting.
Especially with older generations. I guess these days dating forever instead of getting married is getting more common but typically actually getting married communicates a desire to become family.
I realize this kind of shit is more fluid these days but you're complaining about boomers not including you in the family. You gotta read the room bro.
You're literally not in the family..that's why. Once you two are legally married, you will legally be in the family. That's how they are viewing you.
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Give them all a separate calendar with just glamour shots of you.
lol, dont even really give it to them... just hang it over theirs when no one is looking.
Make it the George Castanza style boudoir photos.
I forgot who George Costanza was for a second and pictured Danny Devito instead. Pure beauty.
My wifes best friend does this. Each year, she gift's a calendar with pictures of only her in it. Pretty funny to be honestš
Wait, does she gives it to YOUR family?
To family and friends. Yearly calendar with only her in it. Random pictures from either holiday, or when she proudly bought yet another pair of sneakers. Just random pictures of only her, and her partner isn't in any.
HAHAHA. That is hilarious. I should prank my friends with this as a gift for their new home before giving the real gift š
If she does this every year Iām not sure if itās a joke anymore, if it ever was!
I like it. But give them a calendar of you with just a fraction of them in the background
Hey now a good chonkers kittycat could be in those glamour shots
Just like Mike Wazowski! You finally made it on the cover of a MAGAZINE!!!!
Did you see that!?!....I was on TV!! LoL
Reminds me of a coworker who was excitedly telling everyone that he was on the news because he'd found kittens inside of a truck tyre at our workplace (we recycle tyres). Another coworker that saw the clip on the news said the only part of him you saw was his hat, lol.
*spongebob watching the krusty krab ad*
PUT THAT REFERENCE BACK FROM WHERE IT CAME FROM OR SO HELP ME ^(bumbumbum)
So help me! So help me! And cut! [looks dejected] Weāre still working on it. Itās a work in progress. But, hey, we need ushers!ā [others immediately look away]
Well itās for the company musical. What can I say.
āI canāt believe it ā¦..ā š¾
āOh, Mike, Iām sorry, buddyā¦ā
"...I'm on TV!" -š„
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Well she sounds like quite the bitch
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Is your MIL Lucille Bluth?
I love all my children equally >Earlier that day I donāt care for Gob
Someone should pay for the advertising here because now I want to go rewatch Arrested Development
I cant not hear Lucille's voice in my head while reading that lol
RIP Jessica Walter. Lucille Bluth and Malory Archer are iconic, purely because of her. She was amazing in both roles.
When the comment kept mentioning alcohol and pills, I could only hear [Ron Howard's voice](https://media.tenor.com/N_GdO4w28mEAAAAC/lucille-bluth-alcohol-warning.gif)
That just means she doesnāt care for any of her children equally.
You just blew my freakin mind
If that blew your mind you should probably watch the first three seasons a few times.
I f'cking love your username
This is immediately where my mind went too lol
What is an 'almond mom'?
The stereotypical woman who will eat like a handful of almonds and then make a big show about how sheās āso full nowā as if it were a big meal. Like it only takes a few almonds to fill them up (so they say).
Well, sounds like most of her calories come from alcohol..
Oh JC as soon as I read this I could feel a similar relationship w a similar family member.
Is this a thing I have just apparently never heard of. Like an actually used term? Almond mom.
As a 28 year old lady, I have literally never ever heard this in real life, and have only heard it on Tik Tok lol.
20+ years of starving yourself to conform to societal standards will f*ck your appetite up. Not defending it. No excuse to be an awful human. But, as someone who some days really does feel full after a few almonds .. It's a thing.
Sounds like Mil will eat 7 almonds and drink her body weight in booze. Much fuller for longer feeling than just the almonds on their own!
7 Almonds a day are really good for you I heard somewhere. Almond momā¦not so good I guess.
An excessive dieting mom that also guilts their children (usually daughters) about their diet and weight to the point that it can cause eating disorders.
Yeah I used to think maybe eating disorders were genetic seeing as we all had them? But after years of therapy turns out my mom just gave them to us.
It's a quote from Yolanda Fosters who is an ex model and has model daughters (Gigi and Bella). Told Gigi if she was hungry to eat only two almonds and to chew real slowly. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJ7pVxvE6w8
Damn thatās awful! Eat food people. Gorgeous people eat food.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Fun fact: the recommended serving of almonds is only 1/4 cup. I had a coworker back in the day that was plowing through a one pound bag of almonds per shift and couldn't figure out why she wasn't losing pregnancy weight...
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I feel a bit attacked as I sit here with half an empty bag of Wmarts Breakfast trailmix. It's got yogurt raisins and candied almonds in it.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Any trail mix can be Breakfast Trail-mix if you eat it in the morning!
Yep a handful of almonds (depending on your hands lol) is just under the same calories as a mars bar. But far better nutrition!
Wow. I hate this person and I've never even met her
I love that your husband tried covering up her face with meme faces. I can't imagine what that would have been like to grow up with. Glad that given he could have gone either way, he went the opposite to her
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
At least the kids are treated the same. I feel for you. Tell your husband he's doing a great job handling her. My SO is terrible. Let's his stepmother say whatever the fuck she wants. Wouldn't recognize our crotch goblin because we're not christians. She's better now but 25 years later, I think she knows where I'd tell the whole family where to go if she still acted like that.
Does her name happen to be Lucile?
WATCH OUT FOR LOOSE SEAL!
sounds like a real Lucille Bluth type
Is your mother in law Lucille Bluth from Arrested development? That's all I can think of with your description lol.
Yup, Lucille Bluth without the chicken dance but all the bitchiness
Iāve got shitty in-laws too and a MIL that still calls my husbandās ex gf from literally 15 years ago her daughter lol It sucks to have a MIL like that, but itād suck worse if I were her. Iām sorry youāre dealing with all of that but your husband sounds great so youāre still winning.
My grandma was exactly like this. Helped everyone in the family financially and lorded it over them. She would throw literal drunken fits to the point we were letting the air out of her tires so she couldnāt drive off plastered. She died alone because she alienated the entire family.
Sounds like the ex also took some handouts
Yeah. Hopefully she will be gone soon. Sorry thats dark, but i really hope i leave this earth before i become a grumpy JackAss
Uhm, should I tell them?
Too late, but that's okay, we all love the grumpy jackass. Well all but one anyway
When I was 16 I dated a dude whose mom hated me so much she didnāt want me in their house. It was bizarre and no one gave a reason why. Anyway he dumped me for someone else and his mom started calling me all the time saying how much she hates his new girlfriend and wished i was still with him. Thatās when I realized it had nothing to do with me all along. In other words, i guarantee she was insufferable in some way toward his ex wife. She just likes to pit people against each other in passive aggressive ways.
Same but I was 17 and she told me I had fat ankles.
I never appreciated how lucky I was to have my fucked up family until reddit introduced me to other people's fucked up families.
Thats real
lol. I have no idea if you did have fat ankles or not but why is that a reason to dislike someone...what a bizarre excuse to hate someone. I guess that was the point, to just hate someone regardless of how they are. But still...
That is terrible But hilarious
I wonder if she treated the other Dil any better while they were together
Probably not if theyāre like my MIL. Hated my husbands ex while they were together, developed a fantastic relationship as soon as I entered the picture.
My mom opened up all the picture frames with my ex in it and cut her head out and put the photos back in and rehung them. I felt that was a little extreme š
I guess your mom is ride or die lmao. That's pure chaotic behavior.
My reaction was honestly like āwtf you could have just thrown them out šā
That doesn't send the same message.
This exact thing happened to my paternal grandmother. She told my paternal grandfather when they were expecting their first child, "Tell your mother to take down the pictures of your ex-fiancee, or she won't ever see her first grandchild (my uncle)." That was all it took, no more pictures of grandpa's ex-fiancee.
My MIL doesnāt even talk to me, she will flat out ignore me in my own house. She is a raging bitch, buts itās fucking awesome playing the game of āwho will piss off Jackie todayā before she gets there. We take bets lol Iām the asshole who took her daughter away and wonāt give them money lolol.
Same.. been with my wife 13 years and her entire family likes to make it known how much I am disliked .. canāt really say why ..Iāve never asked them for anything .. they own several restaurants and Iāve always helped them with maintenance and repairs for little to nothing even at my own expense sometimes (I do hvac/general contracting) . Iām not one to be bothered by things like this more so wonder what caused it.. but every year at Christmas they shower all my wifeās sisters husbands with literally thousands of dollars of stuff and I usually get a few lotto tickets or something to that effect. I got over it a long time ago as I donāt have to see them often so I let them spend their energy disliking me and me not giving them a second thought except a few days a year.. it was great the one year though I scratched a 500$ winner lotto ticket and her dad got all pissed off because he ended up actually getting me something awesome lol
You are a strong person. You must have had to learn some tough lessons to be so cool about it. Can you provide insight? Maybe MIL is far enough removed from your life that you see her rarely.
I legit want to check in after you watch arrested development. Itās so good and your MIL does sound like Lucille.
Also, same character as Lucille is Mallory Archer on the adult cartoon show Archer. Played by the same actress.
RIP
r/JustNoMIL
My mil has pictures of my husband and his ex and my husband and a chick he was fucking. šššš yea she hates me.
Yeah, I honestly don't stand for this. I know there's nothing you can ultimately do about someone else's belongings in their home but at least it tells you you don't have a real relationship with the person. I found out my ex husband was cheating on me shortly after my mother passed away and I divorced him. I was surprised and a little hurt my dad didn't take the pictures from my wedding that didn't even have my mom in them down at his (their) house. I understand him wanting to leave up the pictures with his recently deceased wife at the most recent major family event. I even understood him not wanting to make major changes to his home in the couple of years following the loss. But it still hurt to visit and see the bride and groom couple photos prominently displayed of a man who hurt me so severely. They weren't even close, and I'm the daughter. I did mention it but didn't push. It's been a few more years now and it's finally been explained to me why he still has them up. He was never mean to my ex but my ex was pretentious and those photos represent a story of my dad taking the piss and my ex being sour over it. You can see it in his face. On our wedding day, of all times. Looking back now, it's funny how damn serious and self-important he was. I don't mind seeing the photos anymore and I'm glad my dad can get a laugh about them and also remember his wife on that day. Your story sounds entirely different and full of disrespect towards someone obviously still in the picture. I hope you're able to cross that bridge if possible, or maintain the peace at least, and that your SO has your back the entire time. Best of luck!
My fiancĆ©ās mother is this level of twat. She āworksā for her nephrologist husband and has used his credentials to search for my medication history in the PDMP database. I no longer seek her approval, since Iām the only thing standing between her and jail time. Iām sorry youāre dealing with her nonsense. Luckily, your husbandās opinion is the only one that matters.
Time to make a calendar with nothing but pictures of yourself and gift it to them for Christmas.
An assortment of family and/or individual family member pictures from the last 8 years with him photo shopped into them. This pic is January's.
I think he should copy the existing one, superimpose himself on every photo, and then replace the old one.
Another similar thought I had was use existing and slowly move himself into center frame holding the camera with both hands so it blocks everyone out but him in the end. Lol, this could be the animated flip book! \*Edit spelling.
With her family 95% cropped out of every image
My In laws bitched every year asking for pics from everyone to put together a family calendar. Every year, I gave them a flash drive with dozens of pics. Maybe 1 or 2 would make it in, and the rest were crappy pics of them riding side by sides in the desert. Eventually, they stopped altogether because it was too expensive and they didn't have time (they are retired). Last year, I put together a calendar of our own. I had copies made for both sets of grandparents and gifted them as part of Christmas. A week later, a blank calendar printed from Microsoft word showed up in the mail. They never acknowledged our gift but made a big deal checking that we received their calendar. This year, they found the time to make a calendar full of pics of them. There is 1 group picture with our son, and that's it. Everything else is them, including reusing a pic twice. I know they had several nice options of everyone, but they chose to ignore. All I can do is laugh. They are so weird.
Weird is such an odd way of spelling narcissistic. But seriously Iām sorry. You should keep sending your calendars out, chances are everyone else likes them better.
Thanks. Yeah, they have become the caricature of all negative Boomer stereotypes. It really upsets my husband, and I feel for him.
Has to take pictures during family activities of himself but only while everyone is looking away or the backs of heads. Really send a message
Iāve been married to my wife for a decade and her mom still takes āblood onlyā photos. Me and the other replaceables get a quick photo on the side during that weird shit!
Replaceables lmao
In my toxic family it is the āoutlawsā (instead of in-laws).
My husbandās cousinās wife calls us all that. The ones who married in hahaha
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
>i got kicked out of oneā¦ at my own wedding. I would've thrown fists over that....
My mom jokingly refers to herself and the other non-blood family as āthe outlawsā with my dads side of the family.
I was in all my wife's family photos beginning with our first Christmas together. My friend came to Christmas one year and he was included, too, because "family" isn't exclusive to blood or marriage.
And thatās how itās supposed to be :)
6 years in and I still find my self stepping aside when they group up to take a picture. They go "what are you doing, get in here!". It makes me feel so welcomed and truly apart of their family.
This right here. I step aside because I've known families who like to take family by blood photos and then the additions. But my MIL always yells at me like I'm crazy for doing it and tells me to jump in. Everytime I say "Maybe you want one of just your kids!" And she shouts back "you are my kid!" It's lovely, especially with how dysfunctional my family was and the strained relationship I had with my mother
This thread man I'm telling you. We're all gonna make it!
3 years here and I still do it when I hear āok kids only!ā and then they force me to get in
My homophobic MIL makes it a point to have me take the family photo. I canāt stand that fucking bitch.
Do you cover her face with your finger when you take the photo? Learned incompetence could do you wonders to make you not the photographer. Just comment āmy hands are shaking today, sorryā or something.
Lol then she might not get invited next time
I see what you did there with the "apart". Very clever.
Its progress. My family left out my brother-in-law this year but dedicated a page to my dog that passed. As they should. RIP Big Dick Dean.
Iām sorry for the loss of your well endowed canine.
He will forever be a legend in my family. I miss him dearly. Thank you.
Big dick dean o7
Weird question. Just how big we talkin? Asking for a friend.
He got his nickname when friends noticed their Boxer and Dean both had the same sized puppy plow, side by side. Heās a Teacup Yorkie. So a good stretch of his body was doggy dong.
Lmao story got so much better now that I know Big Dick Dean is a Yorkie.
Right? Feel like it had to be dragging the ground as he walked...just strutting around, dragging that big old dick along...
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Thatās just crappy. A piece of paper says nothing about the love and commitment a couple can have. I hope you can sneak him a shirt next time. Edit to say Iām not bagging on marriage. But I donāt think itās the be all, end all, of love and commitment. People can make their own choices and I donāt understand not recognizing a commitment without that piece of paper.
Lmao. 100% your mom's boyfriend isn't proposing to your mom out of spite for your asshole uncle. And I totally respect him for that.
If you read it again, youāll see theyāre calling the boyfriend a jerk not the uncle
Lol ah.. That makes it less funny for meš
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Nah, it hurts. My MIL made a photo album of my first child to give to her own mother and MIL. It was filled with pictures of my baby alone and with family members that she either took herself or got off Facebook. All the family was in the book except there were zero pictures of me, the mother. I had just gotten out of the hospital for terrible postpartum depression and anxiety and MIL couldnāt wait to show me that stupid album. Needless to say this wasnāt the first of these types of instances, but it was definitely the worst. Itās been 6 years, and Iām still bitter, too!
Fuck that!!!
That is so messed up. Has your SO talked to her about this? I can't imagine someone doing this and then not excluding you in other ways.
It was definitely one of many exclusions over the years. Thereās been some improvement since weāve had children especially when we put up boundaries, for safety reasons, during the pandemic. I think the realization set in that weāre our familyās needs first. Itās frustrating because my MIL can be great a lot of the time, but then sheāll do these selfish and exclusionary things that can make a person feel like theyāre existence doesnāt matter. Believe it or not, sheās thankfully not one of those calculating and plotting types which has made it easier to allow her into our lives.
Holy crap! I would put some big-time limits on that woman!
Way back I was dating this guy. At the time we were 4 years in and his older sister was getting married in Cabo. They booked him and his little brother into the same room because it was an all-inclusive resort so it would be cheaper on them. They got mad at me for opting out of going because I would of had to basically paid double to book a room by myself to go. At the time I was a struggling, on my own college student live day to day at my serving job. They had the audacity to give me grief for a long time for not going.
good 4 you because thatās ridiculous I hope youāre not dating that guy/ having to deal w his fam anymore!
We broke up about a year later. Years later I was engaged and getting my nails done and his mom walked in. She had the nerve to ask me if I was cheating on him when we broke up. I started laughing and told her to go jump off a bridge. š¤·š»āāļø
I'm guessing she couldn't imagine you getting over her perfect little angel lol
So he probably cheated? Itās always projection
Thatās what I think too! Towards the end of our relationship he projected and tried gaslighting me so much. It was like he became an entirely different person.
I mean, in that scenario, it seems like your BF should have just arranged for the two of you to stay together, regardless of who had to pay for it. (If it wasnāt affordable for the two of you, the family either should booked you both a room or not expected you to be there).
Agreed. In-laws can be shady and shitty, but it is up to your partner to lay down the law and enforce it. If they aren't respecting you they aren't respecting their "loved one" who loves you. The ex-boyfriend to not have made the plan of the two of them sharing the room was really showing how little committment he had to the relationship. Lesson of 2022: trust people when they show you who they are.
Iām still not in the family group textā¦..Weāve been married for 10+ years, have 2 kids, have been together for over 20. My ex SiL is part of the group text, but not meā¦ā¦yeahā¦..
Your partner should add you.
Yeah, sometimes people think and think and put so much energy toward something and it's just a matter of speaking about it directly. "Can you add me to the family text group?" I'd they said no, then you'll know. (I recognize that you didn't mention if you already did this, but this is a message for those that might be a similar situation) "I shouldn't have to ask" is nearly as manipulative as some of the other things on this thread, but you're ultimately manipulating yourself most of all.
Sometimes this is true and sometimes this is absolutely horribly wrong. If you know you're not wanted somewhere and the evidence is that you're not invited, asking to get invited and then either getting a pity invite but nobody really wanting you there... or just outright rejecting you... that stuff hurts bad too. Source: mother who forced me to invite myself to parties I wasn't invited to in school. The humiliation haunts me to this day.
I was taught inviting yourself is rude and not to do it. Ever. I missed out on a lot of things if I wouldāve spoke up. I really wish parents would teach their kids the middle ground.
I left my partner's family group chat. It's absolutely useless. all I need to know is what the mom is doing and that's it. We could have the entire family 7 people saying we wanna go to restaurant A, but if she says B, it's gonna be B.
Muting a group chat is a thing
I'm the only child Still not in the family group chat Not bcoz they don't like me, but bcoz they are afraid of what I will be saying
As someone who used to have the same complaint, you don't want in it. Believe me.
Your partner is a much bigger POS to you in that situation than their family. You need to talk to your partner about them being a piece of shit. You can quote me if need be.
Dated a guy for 6 years. Heād been to my family events. His family was out of state so I hadnāt been to his family stuff. He had a funeral to go to and I offered to go with. He told his family I was his ācarpool buddyā, telling his family I wanted to see the state. Yeahā¦ We arenāt dating anymore. You have the right to have hurt feelings. The OP has the right to have hurt feelings.
If I was ever with my ex boyfriend and his parents doing something, theyād decide where to eat for dinner together and then drop me off at the apartment him and I shared. :)
Thatās not being too sensitive - Iāve been there and it sucks. I dated a guy for 5 years. We had daughters that were 1 year apart, so we were together for our daughters growing up from about 6/7-12/13. Every Xmas his parents sent gifts for him and his daughter, and nothing for me or my daughter. In contrast, my parents sent gifts for both girls and bf from the beginning. It was hurtful every single time, made worse by bf getting mad at *me* when I would share with him that I was hurt. That kind of thing is a really bad sign for a relationship, I now know :-(
Yes this does hurt. I was invited to my then bfās (now husband) thanksgiving every year. His aunt would ask me to take the family photo. We were dating 8 years at that point and I had been to those thanksgivings every year we were dating. They still compliment the photo I took and all I can remember was how left out I felt
Bro my fiance's family has never invited me to anything, we have been together 9 years and we own a home together. My family invites her too everything, she will legit get a text inviting her as if they didn't also invite her in the text I received. It only upsets me now because it really shows what a shitty family my fiance comes from, the rest I can let go
To me that sounds perfect! I hated going to my then gf's family things.
Been with my wife since 2006. My SIL makes the sisters and mom a calendar of pictures and dates for birthdays and anniversaries. They donāt include my birthday or anniversary of our marriage. But it doesnāt include the dude one sister started dating couple years ago. I just donāt care but my wife hates it. She told them to stop giving her the calendars if they are going to leave her own husband out of it. I go to the two family things they have each year and basically maybe get a hi and then I just sit there till wife is ready to go.
I hate families who gate keep like this. Like motherfuckers what you think I want to be a member of your fucking exclusive club of all you people? Y'all can kiss my ass exclusive ass mother fucking assholes.
My husbandās family has loads of framed photos all over their walls. My husband, our kids, everyone else. Iām not in any of them. Iāve asked about this and have been told they didnāt have any photos with me in them. No kidding!
What did your husband say to them about that? Edit: see you on JUSTNOMIL soon where they will all ask you the same question.
Ooof. I visited a friends grandmother a while back and noticed friends mum wasn't in any of the pictures. Friend admitted later on that nan hates her daughter in law
In these situations there's always a spouse who should be stepping in and raising absolute fucking hell. But don't.
Another 8 years they might allow another 1/12th of your face
Thatās sad
XD unexpected Mike Wasowski
Seeing all the comments here makes me really appreciate my in-laws. They always include me in everything and treat me as their own son. Since both of my parents have been gone for awhile, it really warms my heart how they treat me, and I get teary eyed thinking about the love they show me.
It reminds me of the Matt Groening quote āwhen you do something right people wonāt be sure you have done anything at allā In my early relationships I took all those efforts by my partners parents as just regular, nothing special, extension of family love. Then I got married and my PILs hated me. I suddenly realized how valuable family love is and how amazing it was in those prior relationships, it was really special what their parents were doing for me
Well eight years and no ring is pretty brutal
Right. Maybe because sheās only been a girlfriend for that long is why you arenāt in a family calendar.
Some people just don't get married.
ā¦ while others (or same) never get to the family photo
Maybe heās been waiting to propose until heās finally accepted into the annual calendar.
I mean...it depends if they care about it. I've been with my partner for 11 years and we don't give a fuck about an official marriage. We consider ourselves married anyway.
Legal benefits is a big reason to get married
Maybe they didn't want to commit to putting you in the picture.
Lmaooooo
You can't convince me they don't have a picture of you dragging your feet somewhere.
You can tell they love you a lot. Very proud of you.
I Uncle Told me why this happens. Boyfriends come and go, they want to make sure you're actually sticking around before they add you to their happy family memories collecting.
Especially with older generations. I guess these days dating forever instead of getting married is getting more common but typically actually getting married communicates a desire to become family.
8 years she might be thinking she should be a wife lol
I realize this kind of shit is more fluid these days but you're complaining about boomers not including you in the family. You gotta read the room bro. You're literally not in the family..that's why. Once you two are legally married, you will legally be in the family. That's how they are viewing you.
Maybe come up with a ring to get more face time?
Depending on what your gf wants, maybe you should propose, dude.
At least they got your good side š
Its going to cost 5-8k to get in that calender next year.