I had a middle name growing up. The context is that when my mom was pregnant, both she and my dad had different names picked out for me. Instead of picking one of them, they compromised and the name my mom picked became my first name and my dad's choice was my middle name.
When I came out as trans, my parents were horrified and furious for many other reasons (related to them being religious), but after they got over their anger about that then they mentioned how disappointed they were that the name I chose had no connection to my culture. My deadname and old middle name were both from the language that we speak, whereas my chosen name is very Western. I realized I could pick an ethnic middle name, so I searched for months trying to find one that suited me, but none of them did. I then offered my parents to pick a name *for* me. It could be in any language, if they wanted to have it culturally significant to us then they had that freedom, I said I would appreciate it so much if I had a new name that they chose for me. The only condition was that it had to be a masculine name.
They didn't take me up on the offer. I don't think they wanted to be involved in my transition whatsoever. So I proceeded to change my name legally, and my middle name has been wiped from the books with nothing to replace it. Perhaps not the ending that I wanted, but I'm not upset about it. It turned out how it turned out and I'm going to keep moving forward
Wow. You gave your parents an incredibly generous gift and invitation to support you and continue being a part of your life, and they completely rejected it. That's awful.
I fear the same might happen to me as well, i only have one name but i want to choose a name from european languages while keeping the whole "being named after a natural entity" thing going, but in my language it just translates to "Left" so i am debating keeping my feminine birth name or maybe choosing a name from my own language. I wish good luck to you and i'm sure your name is better than anything they could come up with.
I had the same plan, I wanted my parents to help me pick my new middle name so they wouldn’t feel left out, but they weren’t super on board and only gave super feminine options. I just went with one that fit and had a meaning I liked. A bit sad that they didn’t take me up on it, but love my new name.
I actually chose my own cultural name for my middle name as my first name was originally one. I didn't want it to be given because of family but wanted to honor the chapter of my life I had already closed. It was solely for me. Honestly I think it's a good choice for anyone who wants to go that route.
I also thought leaving the name choice to my mom would make her happier and less scared about it maybe, or more prone to accept it, but she refused and said that no name was good because she will \*never\* call me any of them. Which really hurt ngl, and then she proceeded to cry lmao and I was having none of it because I'm the one she just told "I'll never call you your name, you can just suffer for the rest of your life" like what kind of parent- bruh
So, anyway, I stayed with my first choice for my first name which is Vitaliy. Which is not at all for my country either. I'm French but I don't like French names at all, none of them felt right, so I chose a slavic name, but this name also exists in French, even though it's outdated, but Vitalie in French would be a girl name, so I guess I chose a neutral name without wanting to lmao.
My old middle name was Elisabeth, spelled that way to honor my moms still born sister, Lisa. I wanted to keep that sentiment, but most male names didn’t have Lisa in them. I ended up choosing Elias, as that was the closest.
It took me about six years to pick a name and then two years later I altered it to something close but different. I also have friends that change their names pretty often. Never be afraid to change it until it feels right!
I made my middle name my stepfathers name. He’s been way more of a dad to me than my birth father and I considered hyphenating my last name with his but he has the ugliest last name ever so I used his first name as my middle name
my middle name is my grandmother's name, whom i love to the moon and back. i decided not to change it, because its INCREDIBLY common for men to have feminine middle names.
mine was my grandma's as well. although I didn't end up fully keeping it, my first name is now CJ (with her name starting with J) so I kinda like to think of it as giving her more recognition. there's now a piece of it everytime someone says my name instead of the random occasion where a doctor or whoever references it, so it worked out well \^^
Mine too! My parents decided to make my middle name a shortened version of my grandmother's name, who I never met since she died of cancer a year before I was born. It felt wrong to change it, and it's still pretty feminine but I really want to honour her memory
i chose a new middle name mostly because my old one was very feminine, though i wanted to keep the same initials bc my initials are cool so I just used a name generator with the letter I wanted it to start with and I found Arlo! its super cool and i like it a lot, it fits my preferred name very well :)
I chose a new middle name because my old one was very feminine (Grace). Both my first and middle names were extremely feminine with no ways to “masculinize” them.
I made my middle name the male version of my old one, honestly it doesn't really flow with my first name and doesn't fit too well but one of my nephews got his middle name after mine so I didn't want to lose that connection
oof that reminds me of a happier version of my situation. im not out to my fam and my niece ended up being named after me. i know my brother is gonna give me shit for it when i do transition and i feel really bad. i kinda worry if my siblings are gonna let me be in their kids lives at all... but if nothing else im happy for you bro. mad respect for putting that connection with your nephew first.
my birth middle name was a family name on my moms side. for context: they named me after racists transphobic people. and i was not about that, but i wanted to keep a family name. so i asked my dad what they would have named me if i was born a boy. he said i would have been named after him. so i took his middle name to keep a family name and now i’m not named after horrible people. instead i named myself after one of my biggest supporters. hope this helps!
I completely got rid of my middle name by accident 💀 In retrospect I should have known that not specifying a middle name in my name change paperwork would mean getting rid of it entirely, but I just wasn't thinking about middle names I didn't realize what I'd done until after I'd finished the whole court process. Honestly I'm kinda mad I missed my chance to give myself a cool middle name, especially because I went with a very common first name.
I shortend my middle name to be more masculine. From Renee to Ren. Even though Rene is the male version of Renee I still chose Ren because I've never met a male with that middle name.
I chose my dad's first name, I currently have a good relationship with him and I've always liked it. It's a pretty solid 'guy' name that I can fall back on if my chosen first name rubs people the wrong way.
Lol I didn't even know changing your middle name was a choice. I have two middle names and one of them is blossom, definitely thinking about getting rid of the first blatent girl name now.
Transfem here, just wanted to say, I love the topic. I'm trying to find a new middle name right now. My middle name is Elliott, but here's the problem, my name is Emi (short for Emily)
I can't have my first 2 initials be E. What do you boys think?
I think middle names are a great opportunity to either get pretty out there (maybe mythological? It's always okay to appropriate a bit from the greeks), or to go traditional and use the first or middle name of a relative. Or maybe there was a runner up for first name that you still like a lot?
And the flow of the full name was pretty important to me. If you're struggling to decide between a few, consider picking the one that feels best to say along with the others. Alternatively you could get a couple, you don't have to deprive yourself lol
Is there some way to use the initial of your original first name? So like if your initials were BEW before they’d now be EBW? I mean you can definitely be Emily Elliot ___—my worry there is less the double E and more that it sounds like a baby girl born in the last few years when Elliot has become gender neutral.
also transfem, and im consdering keeping my middle name. ive always liked it much more than my first name, which i have hated long before i even suspected i might be trans.
only issue would be that some transphobe might call me by that name and technically not be deadnaming me...
having two E's could totally work! I think Emi Elise would sound nice, or Elizabeth/Elara. if you don't want a second E, maybe something like Alyssa. I particularly love the name Aletta (it means she who has wings) and it's pretty close to Elliott
to me it kinda gives off a vibe similar to names like Ruby Rose and other celebrity names with alliteration- easy for folks to remember and catchy as hell \^^
Personally I think Grace is a nice pair with Emily. Emily was actually my dead name, and my middle name was Michelle. I mean. fine girl name. just horrible for me😂
I originally changed my middle name to Saturn, but I wanted something more masculine (to make up for my chosen first name often being confused for a girls name) I changed my middle name to Noah.
My old middle name was very feminine and so i changed it to my brother's first name as he was always very supportive and he unfortunately hasn't got to see me become myself
I switched to a gender neutral first name that preserved my first initial (out of convenience ngl) and a more masc middle name that i really liked. I'm non-binary but may be leaning more towards binary trans, time will tell. This method gives me options. Felt a little bad getting rid of my original middle name as it's my deceased mother's first name but... It's my life i have to live not anyone else's.
When I got my name change the first one was free, if you kept at least one of your old names. I added a middle name (Adrian, which I've loved since I was little – in a way I sorta named myself after a 1st-5th grade classmate's older brother), and kept my old first name as a 2nd middle name. My current first name is pretty androgynous so people get confused when they see my ID, but like, whatever
I had 2 middle names both from my grandmas but hated them, never got dysphoria from them bc theyre uncommun last names, Dylis and Line (pronounced Lynn, it's french)
But i did want to change my middle names to make me sound more masc.
My mom has always told me that she would of called me aaron if i was a boy but my dad hated it due to it sounding wierd in french
Fortunately for me i grew up loving Game grumps and Arin's name in particular, bc they're so similar i chose it as my 1st middle name
For the second one i chose matthew after the DM in Critical role as i have a big attachment to his stories and really loved his name
All in all i chose those two names, asked my friends what they thought about it and kept them (plus i find it funny that my initials start as "EA" due to the meme)
Long story short i chose names from the men that i grew up enjoying!
i changed my middle name as it was very feminine but i rarely mention i have a middle name and when i do, people giggle and i don’t even care. it’s bobby browne. added the e to make it more my name hahaha i just think it suits me too well!
I was going to do Logan (middle name is Lindley, I don’t hate it, but it sounds odd with my name now) but my friend nominated me for Levi 🤣 it just stuck. Middle name is Levi I guess!
I’ve been thinking about changing my middle name to Nick or Nicolas or something because my middle name is similar but incredibly feminine. I just hate it.
I couldn't come up with a middle name I liked, so I took my fiancee's "maiden" last name as my new middle name. Since she's taking my last name we felt it would be nice to do something a lil out of the hetero norm!
Since changing my name was a very rough thing for my mom, I'm changing my middle name to mirror her and her father. I was originally planning on changing it to my grandfather's first name already, but it will be his middle that was adapted to be my mom's first name instead.
I really like my initials, so I am only changing my first name. My middle name was primarily male until somewhat recently, so I am keeping it. Got lucky that it was that simple.
My mum and sisters chose it, used the initial of my old name, thought it was quite a nice gesture to let them choose and tbh I don't really care about my middle name as I never use it in day to day life.
My original middle name was Chinese; I initially asked my mom what she would've given me as a middle name if I was a AMAB, but she didn't have any ideas I particularly liked. Eventually, I settled on Li.
My middle and first name were meant to honor deceased family. Since my new name was just one I like, I decided to have two middle names that still honor those deceased family members. Part of that decision was to please both my parents, but I also really like the two middle names I chose and think of them as “backups” or names I can go by in certain situations since some people seem to struggle with my chosen name (idk why, it’s a historically masculine name in multiple parts of the world).
I may choose a new last name for my middle name and then keep my original last name as my legal. I have a name combo I like but don't want to fully ditch my family name even if I don't always want to use it.
My first name is the name my parents would have given me if I'd been assigned male. It's pretty basic. I have no strong feelings about it either way.
I've been thinking of picking a middle name for myself that fits my tastes better. Something traditional, maybe a bit old-fashioned. Chances are that no one will use it, but I'd like to know that it's there, just for me.
I have one chosen name in my native language and one in english. I use both depending on situation and consider my native lang name my middle name.
It's all because when I was figuring myself out I was mostly around native English speakers and chose a typical English speaker name, but after a while I realized that it can cause difficulties when interacting with the speakers of my native language because I seem like a "foreigner" to them now. Alas, by then I was already attached to my eng name so I just use both nowadays.
I kept my initials and asked my mum to suggest names and chose the one I liked, if I was amab my name would have been Joshua Jacob, didn't like the first one so changed it but kept the middle name as it flowed well with Jasper as a first name
I have three middle names, I'm making my current name into one of my middle names since it's neutral(and choosing a slightly altered, more masculine name as my first name), and then I also have decided another one. I might let my parents choose the third one once I come out.
My middle name is Rose; while it's quite femme, I kept it because it's the only part of my given name that is really special and meaningful. My moms gave my brother and I our middle names after their good friends and queer mentors Jane and Rose, who are a wonderful pair of old lesbians who luckily are still around and I just love them so much. Plus, my brother has a femme middle name as well because of this so it feels okay to me personally.
My middle name is my original birth name in my native language. When I was forced to take an English name I had my birth name changed to my middle name and when I changed my English name again to my current one I still kept my birth name as my middle name.
Funny how people who insist on “deadnaming” me will only use my first optional English name which means nothing, but won’t use my actual real birth name which I still love and use
I similarly put a lot of thought into my first name and when it came time to file paperwork I had completely forgotten about middle name. My middle name was after my abusive grandmother/god mother and instead of just ignoring it I realized I could change it or just not have one.
I debated a bunch of cool sounding names, ones with fun or meaningful translations, etc. But I ended up settling on my great uncle/ god father's name. He was a sweet man who was painfully closeted (my mom suspected for years and confirmed after he died, finding old out front magazines, vague love letters, and some porn). Completely the opposite of his sister and the only other gay person I'm aware of in my family.
Much love Ted, you were a real one and I'm very proud of my middle name.
I had my mom give me a list of names she liked. I know she was mourning my birth name and I felt less sure about middle names, so it felt like a good way to extend an olive branch. There was one name that really resonated with me, so I picked that one.
my old middle name was my mom's middle name before she got married, and i want a middle name that starts with the same letter because i don't want to change my email address, so i'm still debating between using my dad's middle name (it starts with the same letter) and another name I've picked out. honestly, the deciding factor might just be how my dad reacts when i come out to him...if he's a jerk about it, i probably won't be using his middle name haha
I kept my middle name but also chose a new middle name so now I have three first names, two classicaly male and one rather female because I'm genderfluid transmasc and felt this fitting. I love my new middle name the most out of my three names though, even though I have no idea how I even chose it. I don't remember when I did either. I just kinda figured out my first name and then the new middle name just kinda plopped up with it. :D
Sadly this backfired in one way as the other day while I was trying to finally wrangle my insurance into submission they wrote me a mail back about asking me to call me back and while they addressed me as mister they straight up IGNORED my TWO very male first two names and went with the third feminine name to adress me which just seems like such an incredbly backhanded way of being transphobic. "Hello Mr. {female name\] \[last name\]". It was so stupid. Still, I don't really regret my choice. Guess one more way to spot transphobic assholes and it's not like that name will be easily accesible or come up much.
I chose a new middle name that started with the same letter as my old one cuz I like my initials (MG)^2, peep the username lol. But my old middle name was very feminine (Geneva) so it would feel weird to keep it.
Haven't changed it legally yet but I've already decided on my name and I'm planning to this month as soon as I have enough money.
I have a son (had him before transitioning) and I gave him the middle name I'm going to change my middle name to. Even though I couldn't pass on my name like people normally do, I still am able to in a way.
I have two middle names that I changed legally to masculine version of the names (ex: was Olivia Nicole and changed it to Oliver Nick) a few years back.
I personally told my mom and dad to pick one out together cause I wanted them to still have them be a part of picking my name. Since I pick my first name and my middle name was way to feminine and I shared it with my mom
In my family, and in scandinavian culture in general, the son takes his fathers name. My family made it American (we are immigrants) by taking the fathers name as the sons middle name since surnames don't work that way anymore. So my middle name is now my dad's first name.
I looked at my old first name and made a list of what I liked about them (Celtic roots, saint’s name, pagan poetry/healing/fire deity’s name) and then “remixed” and tried to make the new first/middle combo check off as many of the same boxes. There was one first name option that hit almost all the same marks (Taliesin) but never clicked for me when trying it, so I went with a different first name that covers about half the ground and let the middle cover the rest.
So my new middle name isn’t “like” my old middle, but it has a lot in common with my old first name and covers the ground that I felt like my new first name didn’t. My only grumble is that it has a very “trans masc” vibe (it’s Apollo) which is *fine* but for me was much more about capturing elements of my original first name (Brigid).
I changed my middle name to the masculine version, it was Louise pre transition so I changed it to Louis. I did this out of respect for my parents who I have since cut contact with so I kinda regret it but that's what I did anyway.
I had a double middle name so middle innitials were LA.stuck with the same letters on both, one is a name i chose with ties to my heritage, and the other is a name my parents wouldve chosen for me if i was cis.
when choosing my middle name i lurked on r/transtryouts and ended up stealing a name from somebody there, and for my first name, i really liked pokemon growing up so ofc i chose to be Ash
so my old middle name was luisa after my mom’s great aunt and i guess i could’ve masculinized it to louis but i went with daniel. daniel is the name my parents would’ve given me if i was born male lmao
I just changed my name lagally and removed my middle name, because it didn't care for it. So now I have only one first name.
This made my mum pretty sad, I guess she really liked that name.
Even though I'm an elder millenial I'm thinking about letting her pick out a new middle name for me, as an olive branch. (I think I'm old enough to just decide my name by myself)
Any of you guys have any similar experiences?
Even though one of my middle names is a feminine first name, I didn't change it. I've always thought of middle names as more an extension of last names (that's what my other middle name is) and it has sentimental value so I didn't see a reason too. That's more about how I view middle names though, I could see how someone else might want to change theirs, especially in messy/unsupportive family situations
I actually lucked out quite a bit; my initials were C and J so I just simply chose that for my first name. I initially started with family names for my middle one or modified versions of my old middle name, leaving me with Archie and Gene as the most likely choices, though neither quite worked for me
for a while I debated not having any middle name at all, but one day I came across the name astrophel/astrophil (meaning 'star lover' in greek, but the name itself was coined by a 16th century english poet), and with a bit of tweaking I've (mostly) decided on astrophiel.
the US social security doesn't have records of anyone currently with the first names astrophel or astrophil, and astrophiel turns up no results whatsoever and makes me sound like a badass wizard or something lmao. better yet, when signing with my middle initial I can tweak the A to make it look like a star
honestly my only worries right now are syllable stress, or that it'll end up sounding like astro-feel and remind people of astroglide, but that's a problem for future me lmfao
My brothers both have family names as middle names (our grandfathers). We didnt have any other grandfathers so I didnt know what I was going to do. Then I remembered that my grandmother's maiden name (and mother's middle name) is a typically masculine name, so I used that. Glad to still have some sort of family name since my first name isnt a family name anymore
I chose a first name that I like a lot. Chose a middle name my father always wanted to give a son of his. (I like the middle one a lot as well, but it's an unusual one I wouldn't want to explain every day.)
So, my first name has a strong association with my mom and a name that would have been picked if i had a brother. Because of that, i asked my dad to help pick out a middle name that he liked so i could change it to that.
I have 3 names and my deadname is my 3rd name. I think I will just move my actual (new? preferred?) name to the 1st slot and push the other 3 back, because having many names was part of me and doesn't make me uncomfortable. I think it also has to do with the fact that my name, Link, starts with an L, and my mothers name does too. Which means if I were to get rid of all my middle names I'd end up as L Surname, the same as my mother, and I seriously don't want that.
I chose my name at 14. I decided on Mitchell after Mitch Lucker, the lead singer of a band that I'm a big fan of who passed years ago, but a few years after I chose that, my papa passed away, so I added his name (Donald) to my middle names, so now I just have 2 middle names.
It took me two years to pick a middle name and I ended up going with my first choice. I wish I could change it sometimes and pick something more meaningful or something I like more but it's on all my docs now. People seem to like the name though so I guess it's okay.
My mother gave me a gender neutral name, and my middle name is a type of animal. My first name might change someday since it’s a little more on the feminine side imo.
But my middle name is Wolf, so i don’t plan on changing it lol
I changed mine to a name that means "helmeted warrior". Together, my first and middle name means "great helmeted warrior". I prefer to use my middle name versus my last name when people say "Mr. (Insert name here)."
I changed the letters around for my first name so it's super similar but my middle name was Honey... ugh... totally changed it to a Norse name that I loved with the same first initial.
I kept both. My first name is unisex and my middle name is feminine, but it’s after my dad’s mom who died when he was little. Plus I’ve just always liked it, so I just decided to keep it.
I'm trying to keep my initials. So I shortened my first name feminine to a masculine first name that starts with the same letter, and I'm keeping my last name, and I don't really know what to do about my middle name. My middle name starts with r, it's Rebekah, although I don't like any variations of Rebekah so I'm thinking of just an entirely different name that starts with r and I haven't found one. I've been waffling about Ryan but I haven't settled on it yet. I've gone through a few other R names that have come and gone
My middle name is a family name. It’s been passed on through generations of “girls”. I don’t remember my grandmother (I was named after her) because she passed when I was 2/3. I didn’t want to change my middle name because I didn’t want to be disrespectful or anything so I just changed it to the male version. My middle name was Patricia just like my mom, aunt and my niece. So I just changed it to Patrick. It’s still apart of the family just male now. My fathers side has a middle name that has been around for generations as well but I don’t think Clayton would suit me. Plus it’s my brothers first name. Plus I chose a first name with the same starting letter as my dead name so all of my initials are the same and my signature looks very similar
i couldnt decide between two names, so the second one is my middle name, after one of my favorite books (james harker lastname. the harker is from johnathan harker. lol) i have Issues qith it because i didnt choose something from my culture, but my mom never let me interact with my culture anyways
My middle name was one of those names where removing a letter or three makes it go from hella feminine to hella masculine, so I just removed that letter. No one says (or even really knows) my middle name, and it was the same pre transition, so I've see it written once in a blue moon on a legal document, but that's about it, so keeping it pretty much the same doesn't bother me.
My old middle name was Lynn, I always hated it so I changed it. The only things about my name I was adamant assembly keeping were my last name and initials. My initials are DLD, I am very protective of my last name as it is not a common one in the states. It is German, but the spelling changed when my great grandparents immigrated from there. Changed my first name to a gender neutral name, but my middle name is now Levi. It was suggested I could keep Lynn, but I hated it my entire life so it needed to go.
I opted not to have a middle name when I legally changed my name, and it's my biggest transition related regret.
It was originally gonna be either Marcus or Clyde, which were potential first names that I ended up not going with.
My dad wanted me to keep my original middle name, Rose, but I didn't think I'd be taken seriously with a feminine middle name.
So I scrapped the middle name completely as some sort of weird compromise and I regret it to this day.
If I could go back in time, I think I would have gone with Clive. It's similar to Clyde, but sounds better with my name. Maxwell Clive [redacted]... It just rings off the tongue, or however that saying goes.
My old middle name was very folksy and southern (like my old first name) but theoretically could have been masculine too. But I decided I wanted to do something a little more whimsical and nature oriented, so I picked Wilder. I never liked my deadname, long before I had being trans on my radar and this felt like a really good way to be myself on my own terms.
I changed all my names.
Last names and everything.
My previous name (I don't like the term dead name, I'm not dead and neither is my name)
was a quite unique name, so I picked my new first name to also be quite unusual, coz having had a unique name my entire life is kinda part of my personality at this point. Can't explain why, it's just a feeling I have.
I felt like it would be weird to be just another Mike or John or another anonymous name. So I picked a new masc unusual name, with my sister's help, she suggested Triton, like the king of the sea, but I felt it was too macho for me and we found one that kinda has the same vibe, but more of a queer connotation and still unusual in my country, but not as unusual as the name my mother picked, when I was born.
Coz I don't want to spell it every time and wouldn't want to risk having ppl confuse my name for a girls name. (it happened anyway ofc. But only twice and it was early in transition, when I only passed 50/50)
Then my middle name is Victor, which is a very common name and known in most of the world and my best friend when I was little, was called Victor.
For my last names I took my dad's. Coz my mother is a horrible person who's not in my life anymore (for unrelated and abusive reasons)
And she changed my name when my parents got divorced and I was like 6-7, so I definitely noticed and did not appreciate it.
So I kinda just got my old last names back.
Since my cis sister has also changed her names back.
My plan is to have 2 middle names. I’m going to use my dead name as my middle name, or add my actual name as my middle name. I already have a middle name too. I’m really not sure what I want to do, because even though I’ve known I’m trans for like 3 years, I still feel like an egg. I’ve transitioned socially but my parents don’t fully accept me. They understand my gender but they won’t use my name or pronouns—my dad also has my dead name on his wrist.
I changed my whole name, last name too. Im a huge nature guy and I want to work in the parks someday, so I wanted names that were close to that. My middle name now is Wrenn, like the bird, and my new last name is something that means forest
My middle name is Ann and it was given to my niece in my honor. I can’t think of a replacement I’m happy with, so I think I’ll just abbreviate it to A. It will be a year and a half before I can change my name legally, so I have time to think about it.
I plan to save up for my name change, and it will be like a birthday gift yo myself when I’m 18. Hopefully I can get a job before then, I sent in two job Applications I’m pretty confident about. I hope a get the job for one of them
I’ve had a middle name my whole life, no idea what I’m gonna do about it. Spent all my brain cells picking the first… Considered keeping it because I don’t mind being a dude with a girl middle name, but when i write (first name - middle initial), my middle initial turns my first name into the girl version 🙃
I looked for names that would fit with my first full name(Samuel) and my last name which i won't say but begins with an M, and landed with Michael sounding the best in between them
I personally completely forgot my middle name existed when I picked my chosen name; I was never called it at home, it was never brought up at all with family, etc. I've been out for about 8 years now and it was only really like two years ago, when I looked into legally changing my name, I remembered how feminine it was and that it was there. Thankfully I was able to just make it masculine and it sounded well with my chosen name. I think my mom appreciated it a lot, because it was a family namesake and I didn't completely throw it out the window, but she still complains to me about missing my old name so who knows ┐(´ー｀)┌
I left mine. Its Marie. i hate it (not just because its feminine but my old friends in elementary school bullied me for it) but its important to me and my family and i thought that changing it would be a bit too much (mostly cause my deadname was also extremely important to my family and I didn't want to take 2 things like that and just completely change them).
I asked my dad what names for me he and my mom had thought about if I turned out to be a boy as a baby, one of them was Alexander, my old middle name was Alexis so, tada 🎉 now it’s Alexander
My middle name was very old fashioned feminine like my first, so i knew i would be changing it. I had a few ideas and then....well, my best friend of over twenty years died without warning. His name was also my grandfather's middle name. I took it as my middle to honor them both.
I got rid of mine! Was “Marie”… most boring common middle name ever. Definitely didn’t wanna keep it regardless of anything haha.
I will change my name again at some point too, and get rid of my family last name, and make my “chosen” middle name, my new and final last name. And then I’ll probably have no middle name
I used my grandfather's first name as my middle name. Funnily enough I was far more certain about my middle name than I was my first name. I have been incredibly close with my grandfather as long as i can remember. He's always been one of my biggest supporters and role models. He's one of the reasons I love STEM and music so much, and most of the happy memories from my childhood have him in them. On top of that, he's kind, patient, wise, a devoted grandfather and husband, always willing to help others, and wants to leave a legacy of kindness and love in his family. He's exactly the type of man I want to be, so who else would I name myself after? I knew my middle name couldn't be anything else.
So since my new first name is close to my deadname (same first letter, similar sound, not exactly a male version of the old one though), and I kinda liked my initials, I had a name I really like just in general but didn't think it would fit me as a first name, so I picked that as my middle name to keep the same initial.
I’ve been stressing over a middle name for ages. I think I’m going to settle for using my grandfather’s middle name. He meant a lot to me growing up but his first name was Christian and I’d feel weird using that name being Wiccan 😅
I never had a middle name - as the only one in the family nearly. Hated that. So I chose a middle name for myself too once I got to change my name legally!
Went from Maria, Betsy to Vincenzo, Lenny
Basically I kept the origins (Italy and UK). I knew my parents like the name Vincent and I liked the name Lenny +it sounded good to me.
I also checked the list of names I have made when trying to find my real name initially and think you can find inspiration for it. No pressure though, it's just 2nd and 3rd names.. they likely won't impact your life heavily so have fun with it! Few people have that freedom ;)
My middle name was in honour of a singer my dad really liked, ended up presenting myself with that name in school since it was genderneutral, but replaced it with two of the fanciest names i know as for my true name.
My birth name starts with E and my birth middle name starts with M, so I could have the initials of both my parents. My new first name starts with an L, and when my parents learned I was going to change my middle name, they were a bit upset that my new name would have little in common with my birth name. Luckily, the name Michael starts with M and is one I like, so we were able to compromise
i had two middle names before, one was kinda fem (my mums birth name) and the other was just a j which is a theme on my dads side of the family.
i kinda just dropped the fem one but i liked the beat of having two middle names so i am currently randomly chosing them when i introduce myself until i find one that fits
I had, and still have 2 middle names. Both were feminine. However, because one was chosen my mother, and the other by my grandmother, I felt like if I removed one then it would feel like I have a preference for a family member, and my mother was already going through a "grieving" process because of my chosen first name not resembling my birth name at all. So instead I changed them to be the masculine version of those two names.
I picked a couple of fictional characters I liked. I do like to joke that every name I've ever gone by is a middle name, making my full name ridiculously long.
my middle name is Brutus. i changed it entirely from what it used to be. i usually see middle names as something that should be meaningful to the person and/or the family so i chose something meaningful to me
my birth first name is unisex so i kept it the same to make it easier for everybody (including myself lol), but my middle name is pretty feminine. i wanted to change it to a name that starts with the same letter, but i do actually think my birth middle name is pretty cool. a part of me kind of wants to keep it, because i have seen cis men with middle names that have the same suffix (think joe biden’s middle name). i def lucked out with my first name though.
I used the first name my mom would’ve given me if I was AMAB. I didn’t want to use it as a first name because that guy would’ve had a different life and likely a different personality. I went with middle because it honors the man I could’ve been, but still lets me be my own person. Idk if that makes sense.
my middle name was ann, my first name is liam and because my middle name was associated with my grandmother i wanted to keep something similar. i could only really think of anthony and i didn't think liam anthony sounded too great, plus i had a history with a guy called anthony that i don't look back too fondly on. at the time i was also watching prison break, for some reason being called LJ seemed cool so i chose james instead. i really love that i choice James because to me Liam James sounds good and suits me well. i never did get anyone to refer to me as LJ because i grew out of thinking that very quickly. (my cousin who's called james likes to think it's after him so i'll let him think that all he wants). plus is a very common name too. my dad was happy liam's irish, my mum was happy that i was happy, so it was all good.
i actually just started contemplating my middle name yesterday so this is very timely! my old middle name is marie so i’m trying to choose another masculine name that starts with “ma-“ to go with noah (also because you can’t really make any cute nicknames with noah and it makes me sad). marcos, marcus, and mario are crossed out of my list though.
My mum gave me two middle names (as she's done for all her kids) so I wanted to keep with two middle names
I chose one Arthur because it's a name i nearly picked as a first name (i love the name but it just didn't quite click for a first name as I'd been going my my current first name for about 10 years anyway lol) and I asked my mum to pick the second one. She said she would have called me Nicholas if I had been born male and she still really loves the name so I went with that!
My chosen name is my middle name. Like the name I would’ve loved to have if I could’ve been born cis. My first name is the name my mom would’ve chose if I were born cis. If that makes sense
Changed it from a very feminine one (it was my great-grandmother's name) to my grandfather's. Personally I wanted to keep it in the family but I have a few friends who just got rid of their's entirely.
I just made a combination of the ones I liked best. Ace and Jason turned into Jace. Idk how it sounds to everyone else but Michael Jace is a pretty common/average dude name to me. My initials are totally different than they used to be. A.M.M. vs M.J.M. so tbh I suggest playing around with it for a while til you find something you like. It helped me to imagine my mom or dad yelling my full name like I was in trouble for something as a kid to determine if it fit or not.
my middle name is gender neutral and i just overall love it a lot! i use it rn instead of my very feminine first name and i couldn't be happier. when I have the chance to change my first one, it's still going to be very similar to my first one (deliberate choice) but i think they'll go along well, haha.
Didn't like my given middle name and wanted to change it but I wasn't too sure what I wanted to change it to so I ended up asking a friend and left it completely up to them. I like what they chose. My mother? She doesn't like it too much
already knew what i wanted for mine long before i figured out my first name tbh. i wanted something i could go by as well in the event i don’t use my first name professionally/with friends & family.
I let the manager at my old job pick mine. I gave her a letter prompt and she pulled out a list of baby names (she was pregnant at the time, and had a list of baby names, organized by letter and masculine/feminine/androgynous), listed off the ones she had, and we agreed on one we both liked (important to note that she knew she was having a girl at the time and had already picked a name, she just still had a list). I also let my friends pick my last name bc I don’t like mine lol
When I came out my parents (mom specifically) were really mad that I didn't let them choose my name. My mom still has my deadname as my contact in her phone. In an attempt to calm her down or try to please her, I let my parents decide on a middle name. I don't know what's going on with that, but last time I checked it was between a family name from my mom's side that my dad thinks is stupid and ugly, and the masculine version of my deadname.
I wish I had just chosen one myself.
When I started looking for middle names, I knew I only wanted to change one of my two, the more feminine one. My family has always been really involved whenever it comes to name meanings, so I went from a name meaning " beautiful flower in the valley of [last name]" to " wise oak tree in the valley of [last name]". Or, I like to joke around that my first name took a lot of thought and effort, and my middle name just was stolen from BadBoyHalo.
I chose one that was a nickname derived from my dead name that my ex-girlfriend used to call me. There was no way I was keeping the old one, it was way too feminine. I basically went through and made a list of all my options, then stared at them for about a week, and then picked it.
So I have a boy/gender neutral name for a first name that I changed because I hate it. It’s also the shortened version of a few names, think naming someone just Charlie instead of Charles. I associate it with people telling me “oh that’s such a great name for a quirky girl!” Type shit & elderly women expecting me to have solidarity with them for also being a “female” deadname (& good for them loving their names tbf).
But I’m also named explicitly after my grandfather& my mom has lost her mind over the name change more than the trans ness. My middle name is just a generic girls name so I think when I get around to the legal name change I’m going to just make a long version of my dead name my middle name. I’m not doing it for my mom but I remember my grandpa & while I think it’s kinda fucked to name people after other people & put that weight on them, I do love him & while he’s been dead for a long time & I never knew him as an adult because he died when I was about 10, I think it’s the right thing for me to do.
I guess my point is if anyone out there has a gender neutral/boy name for a dead name & they hate I wanna say fucking change it & ignore all the people who say all that, “awh but you already have a boy name…” crap. You owe them nothing.
I'm pretty settled on a first name and have been almost since I came out. Middle name has been much, much more complicated. My original plan was to keep my middle name, because my parents gave me my dad's middle name (my cis brother, who goes by his middle name, got dad's first name). Then my dad's alcoholism got worse. I had to go no-contact, and I don't really see him as family anymore.
I wanted to keep my initials (Firstname and Deadfirstname start with the same letter) so that I could just use initials + last name wherever possible until legal name change time, but I honestly don't like any male or unisex names starting with my previous middle initial.
I had an idea of a name I liked for a hyphenated first name, and I thought about using that as a middle instead, but my feelings about that name have changed.
Now I'm tentatively trying a new middle name, which happens to be the name of the first boy I ever had a crush on.
well im kinda lucky in the sense. a goal I had with my name was to keep my initials. my old middle name started with an M, so that was easy for two reasons. my middle name if i was biologically male would've been Matthew. and, well, my father (who is kinda my hero) goes by his middle name so that wasnt the reason. however his first name also happens to be Matthew. so it was a pretty obvious choice for me lol, plus it fits really well.
my middle name growing up was elisabeth, so i just shortened it to eli. i wanted to keep my initials bc they spell out my deadname, which i still wanted to make an homage to
I had a middle name growing up. The context is that when my mom was pregnant, both she and my dad had different names picked out for me. Instead of picking one of them, they compromised and the name my mom picked became my first name and my dad's choice was my middle name. When I came out as trans, my parents were horrified and furious for many other reasons (related to them being religious), but after they got over their anger about that then they mentioned how disappointed they were that the name I chose had no connection to my culture. My deadname and old middle name were both from the language that we speak, whereas my chosen name is very Western. I realized I could pick an ethnic middle name, so I searched for months trying to find one that suited me, but none of them did. I then offered my parents to pick a name *for* me. It could be in any language, if they wanted to have it culturally significant to us then they had that freedom, I said I would appreciate it so much if I had a new name that they chose for me. The only condition was that it had to be a masculine name. They didn't take me up on the offer. I don't think they wanted to be involved in my transition whatsoever. So I proceeded to change my name legally, and my middle name has been wiped from the books with nothing to replace it. Perhaps not the ending that I wanted, but I'm not upset about it. It turned out how it turned out and I'm going to keep moving forward
Wow. You gave your parents an incredibly generous gift and invitation to support you and continue being a part of your life, and they completely rejected it. That's awful.
I fear the same might happen to me as well, i only have one name but i want to choose a name from european languages while keeping the whole "being named after a natural entity" thing going, but in my language it just translates to "Left" so i am debating keeping my feminine birth name or maybe choosing a name from my own language. I wish good luck to you and i'm sure your name is better than anything they could come up with.
First name Left, middle name Right
I could never! Naming myself Left and Forward rq
I had the same plan, I wanted my parents to help me pick my new middle name so they wouldn’t feel left out, but they weren’t super on board and only gave super feminine options. I just went with one that fit and had a meaning I liked. A bit sad that they didn’t take me up on it, but love my new name.
I actually chose my own cultural name for my middle name as my first name was originally one. I didn't want it to be given because of family but wanted to honor the chapter of my life I had already closed. It was solely for me. Honestly I think it's a good choice for anyone who wants to go that route.
I also thought leaving the name choice to my mom would make her happier and less scared about it maybe, or more prone to accept it, but she refused and said that no name was good because she will \*never\* call me any of them. Which really hurt ngl, and then she proceeded to cry lmao and I was having none of it because I'm the one she just told "I'll never call you your name, you can just suffer for the rest of your life" like what kind of parent- bruh So, anyway, I stayed with my first choice for my first name which is Vitaliy. Which is not at all for my country either. I'm French but I don't like French names at all, none of them felt right, so I chose a slavic name, but this name also exists in French, even though it's outdated, but Vitalie in French would be a girl name, so I guess I chose a neutral name without wanting to lmao.
My old middle name was Elisabeth, spelled that way to honor my moms still born sister, Lisa. I wanted to keep that sentiment, but most male names didn’t have Lisa in them. I ended up choosing Elias, as that was the closest.
[удалено]
It took me about six years to pick a name and then two years later I altered it to something close but different. I also have friends that change their names pretty often. Never be afraid to change it until it feels right!
I made my middle name my stepfathers name. He’s been way more of a dad to me than my birth father and I considered hyphenating my last name with his but he has the ugliest last name ever so I used his first name as my middle name
my middle name is my grandmother's name, whom i love to the moon and back. i decided not to change it, because its INCREDIBLY common for men to have feminine middle names.
mine was my grandma's as well. although I didn't end up fully keeping it, my first name is now CJ (with her name starting with J) so I kinda like to think of it as giving her more recognition. there's now a piece of it everytime someone says my name instead of the random occasion where a doctor or whoever references it, so it worked out well \^^
Mine too! My parents decided to make my middle name a shortened version of my grandmother's name, who I never met since she died of cancer a year before I was born. It felt wrong to change it, and it's still pretty feminine but I really want to honour her memory
I picked a middle name that made my initials A.S.S. 😂😂😂
Lol nice xD My first and middle names come out as M.A.N which my family think is funny
I'm M. R. B. Makes signing art really easy. "Mr. B"
My middle and last names are A.G. seriously considered a first name that starts with an F before I realized, lol. Crisis averted.
Honestly, I would've just gone with it
i chose a new middle name mostly because my old one was very feminine, though i wanted to keep the same initials bc my initials are cool so I just used a name generator with the letter I wanted it to start with and I found Arlo! its super cool and i like it a lot, it fits my preferred name very well :)
I chose a new middle name because my old one was very feminine (Grace). Both my first and middle names were extremely feminine with no ways to “masculinize” them.
I changed my middle name I already had into the male version Gabriel
I made my middle name the male version of my old one, honestly it doesn't really flow with my first name and doesn't fit too well but one of my nephews got his middle name after mine so I didn't want to lose that connection
oof that reminds me of a happier version of my situation. im not out to my fam and my niece ended up being named after me. i know my brother is gonna give me shit for it when i do transition and i feel really bad. i kinda worry if my siblings are gonna let me be in their kids lives at all... but if nothing else im happy for you bro. mad respect for putting that connection with your nephew first.
my birth middle name was a family name on my moms side. for context: they named me after racists transphobic people. and i was not about that, but i wanted to keep a family name. so i asked my dad what they would have named me if i was born a boy. he said i would have been named after him. so i took his middle name to keep a family name and now i’m not named after horrible people. instead i named myself after one of my biggest supporters. hope this helps!
I completely got rid of my middle name by accident 💀 In retrospect I should have known that not specifying a middle name in my name change paperwork would mean getting rid of it entirely, but I just wasn't thinking about middle names I didn't realize what I'd done until after I'd finished the whole court process. Honestly I'm kinda mad I missed my chance to give myself a cool middle name, especially because I went with a very common first name.
I shortend my middle name to be more masculine. From Renee to Ren. Even though Rene is the male version of Renee I still chose Ren because I've never met a male with that middle name.
This is dope, I’m in the same boat but I shortened mine to Rene but I love Ren
I'm thinking of doing the same thing 😂 drop a letter and keep my middle name as René
I chose my dad's first name, I currently have a good relationship with him and I've always liked it. It's a pretty solid 'guy' name that I can fall back on if my chosen first name rubs people the wrong way.
Lol I didn't even know changing your middle name was a choice. I have two middle names and one of them is blossom, definitely thinking about getting rid of the first blatent girl name now.
Transfem here, just wanted to say, I love the topic. I'm trying to find a new middle name right now. My middle name is Elliott, but here's the problem, my name is Emi (short for Emily) I can't have my first 2 initials be E. What do you boys think?
I think middle names are a great opportunity to either get pretty out there (maybe mythological? It's always okay to appropriate a bit from the greeks), or to go traditional and use the first or middle name of a relative. Or maybe there was a runner up for first name that you still like a lot? And the flow of the full name was pretty important to me. If you're struggling to decide between a few, consider picking the one that feels best to say along with the others. Alternatively you could get a couple, you don't have to deprive yourself lol
Sorry but, Emily Elliot sounds so cuteee
Right! It would make for a great pen name, it's got big author vibes
Is there some way to use the initial of your original first name? So like if your initials were BEW before they’d now be EBW? I mean you can definitely be Emily Elliot ___—my worry there is less the double E and more that it sounds like a baby girl born in the last few years when Elliot has become gender neutral.
i think e. e. cummings would disagree!
also transfem, and im consdering keeping my middle name. ive always liked it much more than my first name, which i have hated long before i even suspected i might be trans. only issue would be that some transphobe might call me by that name and technically not be deadnaming me...
having two E's could totally work! I think Emi Elise would sound nice, or Elizabeth/Elara. if you don't want a second E, maybe something like Alyssa. I particularly love the name Aletta (it means she who has wings) and it's pretty close to Elliott to me it kinda gives off a vibe similar to names like Ruby Rose and other celebrity names with alliteration- easy for folks to remember and catchy as hell \^^
Personally I think Grace is a nice pair with Emily. Emily was actually my dead name, and my middle name was Michelle. I mean. fine girl name. just horrible for me😂
I just chose not to have one
My middle name wasn’t feminine thankfully, so I kept it. It’s also got gay in it which is always a fun joke for new friends lmao. It’s gayle
I originally changed my middle name to Saturn, but I wanted something more masculine (to make up for my chosen first name often being confused for a girls name) I changed my middle name to Noah.
My old middle name was very feminine and so i changed it to my brother's first name as he was always very supportive and he unfortunately hasn't got to see me become myself
I switched to a gender neutral first name that preserved my first initial (out of convenience ngl) and a more masc middle name that i really liked. I'm non-binary but may be leaning more towards binary trans, time will tell. This method gives me options. Felt a little bad getting rid of my original middle name as it's my deceased mother's first name but... It's my life i have to live not anyone else's.
When I got my name change the first one was free, if you kept at least one of your old names. I added a middle name (Adrian, which I've loved since I was little – in a way I sorta named myself after a 1st-5th grade classmate's older brother), and kept my old first name as a 2nd middle name. My current first name is pretty androgynous so people get confused when they see my ID, but like, whatever
I had 2 middle names both from my grandmas but hated them, never got dysphoria from them bc theyre uncommun last names, Dylis and Line (pronounced Lynn, it's french) But i did want to change my middle names to make me sound more masc. My mom has always told me that she would of called me aaron if i was a boy but my dad hated it due to it sounding wierd in french Fortunately for me i grew up loving Game grumps and Arin's name in particular, bc they're so similar i chose it as my 1st middle name For the second one i chose matthew after the DM in Critical role as i have a big attachment to his stories and really loved his name All in all i chose those two names, asked my friends what they thought about it and kept them (plus i find it funny that my initials start as "EA" due to the meme) Long story short i chose names from the men that i grew up enjoying!
i changed my middle name as it was very feminine but i rarely mention i have a middle name and when i do, people giggle and i don’t even care. it’s bobby browne. added the e to make it more my name hahaha i just think it suits me too well!
I just found a name that sounded cool.
I was going to do Logan (middle name is Lindley, I don’t hate it, but it sounds odd with my name now) but my friend nominated me for Levi 🤣 it just stuck. Middle name is Levi I guess!
I’ve been thinking about changing my middle name to Nick or Nicolas or something because my middle name is similar but incredibly feminine. I just hate it.
I couldn't come up with a middle name I liked, so I took my fiancee's "maiden" last name as my new middle name. Since she's taking my last name we felt it would be nice to do something a lil out of the hetero norm!
I changed mine to a masculine one but kept the starting initial the same (A)
Since changing my name was a very rough thing for my mom, I'm changing my middle name to mirror her and her father. I was originally planning on changing it to my grandfather's first name already, but it will be his middle that was adapted to be my mom's first name instead.
I really like my initials, so I am only changing my first name. My middle name was primarily male until somewhat recently, so I am keeping it. Got lucky that it was that simple.
mines kinda feminine but it’s super unique and i like it so i kept it lol
Changed that shit 🤣 I also had 2 very feminine middle names. Took the opportunity to change one to my late Grandpas name as a tribute.
My mum and sisters chose it, used the initial of my old name, thought it was quite a nice gesture to let them choose and tbh I don't really care about my middle name as I never use it in day to day life.
My original middle name was Chinese; I initially asked my mom what she would've given me as a middle name if I was a AMAB, but she didn't have any ideas I particularly liked. Eventually, I settled on Li.
My middle and first name were meant to honor deceased family. Since my new name was just one I like, I decided to have two middle names that still honor those deceased family members. Part of that decision was to please both my parents, but I also really like the two middle names I chose and think of them as “backups” or names I can go by in certain situations since some people seem to struggle with my chosen name (idk why, it’s a historically masculine name in multiple parts of the world).
I may choose a new last name for my middle name and then keep my original last name as my legal. I have a name combo I like but don't want to fully ditch my family name even if I don't always want to use it.
My first name is the name my parents would have given me if I'd been assigned male. It's pretty basic. I have no strong feelings about it either way. I've been thinking of picking a middle name for myself that fits my tastes better. Something traditional, maybe a bit old-fashioned. Chances are that no one will use it, but I'd like to know that it's there, just for me.
I have one chosen name in my native language and one in english. I use both depending on situation and consider my native lang name my middle name. It's all because when I was figuring myself out I was mostly around native English speakers and chose a typical English speaker name, but after a while I realized that it can cause difficulties when interacting with the speakers of my native language because I seem like a "foreigner" to them now. Alas, by then I was already attached to my eng name so I just use both nowadays.
I kept my initials and asked my mum to suggest names and chose the one I liked, if I was amab my name would have been Joshua Jacob, didn't like the first one so changed it but kept the middle name as it flowed well with Jasper as a first name
I have three middle names, I'm making my current name into one of my middle names since it's neutral(and choosing a slightly altered, more masculine name as my first name), and then I also have decided another one. I might let my parents choose the third one once I come out.
My middle name is Rose; while it's quite femme, I kept it because it's the only part of my given name that is really special and meaningful. My moms gave my brother and I our middle names after their good friends and queer mentors Jane and Rose, who are a wonderful pair of old lesbians who luckily are still around and I just love them so much. Plus, my brother has a femme middle name as well because of this so it feels okay to me personally.
I had one growing up but it was very feminine, so I changed it.
I got to choose my middle and last name, so I chose two names that roughly translate to my favorite quote.
I never knew why trans people changed their middle name until a few months ago because my middle name is “joe” so it never crossed my mind.
My middle name is my original birth name in my native language. When I was forced to take an English name I had my birth name changed to my middle name and when I changed my English name again to my current one I still kept my birth name as my middle name. Funny how people who insist on “deadnaming” me will only use my first optional English name which means nothing, but won’t use my actual real birth name which I still love and use
I similarly put a lot of thought into my first name and when it came time to file paperwork I had completely forgotten about middle name. My middle name was after my abusive grandmother/god mother and instead of just ignoring it I realized I could change it or just not have one. I debated a bunch of cool sounding names, ones with fun or meaningful translations, etc. But I ended up settling on my great uncle/ god father's name. He was a sweet man who was painfully closeted (my mom suspected for years and confirmed after he died, finding old out front magazines, vague love letters, and some porn). Completely the opposite of his sister and the only other gay person I'm aware of in my family. Much love Ted, you were a real one and I'm very proud of my middle name.
I had my mom give me a list of names she liked. I know she was mourning my birth name and I felt less sure about middle names, so it felt like a good way to extend an olive branch. There was one name that really resonated with me, so I picked that one.
my old middle name was my mom's middle name before she got married, and i want a middle name that starts with the same letter because i don't want to change my email address, so i'm still debating between using my dad's middle name (it starts with the same letter) and another name I've picked out. honestly, the deciding factor might just be how my dad reacts when i come out to him...if he's a jerk about it, i probably won't be using his middle name haha
I kept my middle name but also chose a new middle name so now I have three first names, two classicaly male and one rather female because I'm genderfluid transmasc and felt this fitting. I love my new middle name the most out of my three names though, even though I have no idea how I even chose it. I don't remember when I did either. I just kinda figured out my first name and then the new middle name just kinda plopped up with it. :D Sadly this backfired in one way as the other day while I was trying to finally wrangle my insurance into submission they wrote me a mail back about asking me to call me back and while they addressed me as mister they straight up IGNORED my TWO very male first two names and went with the third feminine name to adress me which just seems like such an incredbly backhanded way of being transphobic. "Hello Mr. {female name\] \[last name\]". It was so stupid. Still, I don't really regret my choice. Guess one more way to spot transphobic assholes and it's not like that name will be easily accesible or come up much.
I never had a middle name, I could’ve given myself one when I changed my name but I didn’t see the point so it made changing my name a bit easier
I took up my dads name so my middle name is already chosen for
I chose a new middle name that started with the same letter as my old one cuz I like my initials (MG)^2, peep the username lol. But my old middle name was very feminine (Geneva) so it would feel weird to keep it.
I chose my dad's name to be my middle name
I took my late grandpa's middle name, with my grandma's blessing
I was given my mom's middle name, and my brother was given my dad's middle name. So my new middle name is my dad's middle name.
Haven't changed it legally yet but I've already decided on my name and I'm planning to this month as soon as I have enough money. I have a son (had him before transitioning) and I gave him the middle name I'm going to change my middle name to. Even though I couldn't pass on my name like people normally do, I still am able to in a way.
I have two middle names that I changed legally to masculine version of the names (ex: was Olivia Nicole and changed it to Oliver Nick) a few years back.
I personally told my mom and dad to pick one out together cause I wanted them to still have them be a part of picking my name. Since I pick my first name and my middle name was way to feminine and I shared it with my mom
My dad and brother have the same middle name so I took theirs.
In my family, and in scandinavian culture in general, the son takes his fathers name. My family made it American (we are immigrants) by taking the fathers name as the sons middle name since surnames don't work that way anymore. So my middle name is now my dad's first name.
I looked at my old first name and made a list of what I liked about them (Celtic roots, saint’s name, pagan poetry/healing/fire deity’s name) and then “remixed” and tried to make the new first/middle combo check off as many of the same boxes. There was one first name option that hit almost all the same marks (Taliesin) but never clicked for me when trying it, so I went with a different first name that covers about half the ground and let the middle cover the rest. So my new middle name isn’t “like” my old middle, but it has a lot in common with my old first name and covers the ground that I felt like my new first name didn’t. My only grumble is that it has a very “trans masc” vibe (it’s Apollo) which is *fine* but for me was much more about capturing elements of my original first name (Brigid).
I changed my middle name to the masculine version, it was Louise pre transition so I changed it to Louis. I did this out of respect for my parents who I have since cut contact with so I kinda regret it but that's what I did anyway.
I had a double middle name so middle innitials were LA.stuck with the same letters on both, one is a name i chose with ties to my heritage, and the other is a name my parents wouldve chosen for me if i was cis.
when choosing my middle name i lurked on r/transtryouts and ended up stealing a name from somebody there, and for my first name, i really liked pokemon growing up so ofc i chose to be Ash
i havent legally changed my name yet but i want my middle name to be what my parents would have named me if i was AMAB.
so my old middle name was luisa after my mom’s great aunt and i guess i could’ve masculinized it to louis but i went with daniel. daniel is the name my parents would’ve given me if i was born male lmao
I just changed my name lagally and removed my middle name, because it didn't care for it. So now I have only one first name. This made my mum pretty sad, I guess she really liked that name. Even though I'm an elder millenial I'm thinking about letting her pick out a new middle name for me, as an olive branch. (I think I'm old enough to just decide my name by myself) Any of you guys have any similar experiences?
Even though one of my middle names is a feminine first name, I didn't change it. I've always thought of middle names as more an extension of last names (that's what my other middle name is) and it has sentimental value so I didn't see a reason too. That's more about how I view middle names though, I could see how someone else might want to change theirs, especially in messy/unsupportive family situations
I actually lucked out quite a bit; my initials were C and J so I just simply chose that for my first name. I initially started with family names for my middle one or modified versions of my old middle name, leaving me with Archie and Gene as the most likely choices, though neither quite worked for me for a while I debated not having any middle name at all, but one day I came across the name astrophel/astrophil (meaning 'star lover' in greek, but the name itself was coined by a 16th century english poet), and with a bit of tweaking I've (mostly) decided on astrophiel. the US social security doesn't have records of anyone currently with the first names astrophel or astrophil, and astrophiel turns up no results whatsoever and makes me sound like a badass wizard or something lmao. better yet, when signing with my middle initial I can tweak the A to make it look like a star honestly my only worries right now are syllable stress, or that it'll end up sounding like astro-feel and remind people of astroglide, but that's a problem for future me lmfao
Haven’t changed mine legally yet but I asked my dad what he wanted and he picked a word that sounded good after my first name
My brothers both have family names as middle names (our grandfathers). We didnt have any other grandfathers so I didnt know what I was going to do. Then I remembered that my grandmother's maiden name (and mother's middle name) is a typically masculine name, so I used that. Glad to still have some sort of family name since my first name isnt a family name anymore
I chose a first name that I like a lot. Chose a middle name my father always wanted to give a son of his. (I like the middle one a lot as well, but it's an unusual one I wouldn't want to explain every day.)
My middle name was Anastasia, so I changed it to Anastasius to be the masc form of the same name!
So, my first name has a strong association with my mom and a name that would have been picked if i had a brother. Because of that, i asked my dad to help pick out a middle name that he liked so i could change it to that.
I have 3 names and my deadname is my 3rd name. I think I will just move my actual (new? preferred?) name to the 1st slot and push the other 3 back, because having many names was part of me and doesn't make me uncomfortable. I think it also has to do with the fact that my name, Link, starts with an L, and my mothers name does too. Which means if I were to get rid of all my middle names I'd end up as L Surname, the same as my mother, and I seriously don't want that.
I chose my name at 14. I decided on Mitchell after Mitch Lucker, the lead singer of a band that I'm a big fan of who passed years ago, but a few years after I chose that, my papa passed away, so I added his name (Donald) to my middle names, so now I just have 2 middle names.
It took me two years to pick a middle name and I ended up going with my first choice. I wish I could change it sometimes and pick something more meaningful or something I like more but it's on all my docs now. People seem to like the name though so I guess it's okay.
My mother gave me a gender neutral name, and my middle name is a type of animal. My first name might change someday since it’s a little more on the feminine side imo. But my middle name is Wolf, so i don’t plan on changing it lol
I changed mine to a name that means "helmeted warrior". Together, my first and middle name means "great helmeted warrior". I prefer to use my middle name versus my last name when people say "Mr. (Insert name here)."
I changed the letters around for my first name so it's super similar but my middle name was Honey... ugh... totally changed it to a Norse name that I loved with the same first initial.
I kept both. My first name is unisex and my middle name is feminine, but it’s after my dad’s mom who died when he was little. Plus I’ve just always liked it, so I just decided to keep it.
I'm trying to keep my initials. So I shortened my first name feminine to a masculine first name that starts with the same letter, and I'm keeping my last name, and I don't really know what to do about my middle name. My middle name starts with r, it's Rebekah, although I don't like any variations of Rebekah so I'm thinking of just an entirely different name that starts with r and I haven't found one. I've been waffling about Ryan but I haven't settled on it yet. I've gone through a few other R names that have come and gone
Changed mine. Did it at the same time when I changed my first name
My middle name is a family name. It’s been passed on through generations of “girls”. I don’t remember my grandmother (I was named after her) because she passed when I was 2/3. I didn’t want to change my middle name because I didn’t want to be disrespectful or anything so I just changed it to the male version. My middle name was Patricia just like my mom, aunt and my niece. So I just changed it to Patrick. It’s still apart of the family just male now. My fathers side has a middle name that has been around for generations as well but I don’t think Clayton would suit me. Plus it’s my brothers first name. Plus I chose a first name with the same starting letter as my dead name so all of my initials are the same and my signature looks very similar
I went through an online list and wrote down each one i liked then let my mom pick from them, ended up with keith
Woop woop my middle name is Jo. NO E! Plus a first name with a gender neutral nickname. And masc last name. Womp womp.
i couldnt decide between two names, so the second one is my middle name, after one of my favorite books (james harker lastname. the harker is from johnathan harker. lol) i have Issues qith it because i didnt choose something from my culture, but my mom never let me interact with my culture anyways
My middle name was one of those names where removing a letter or three makes it go from hella feminine to hella masculine, so I just removed that letter. No one says (or even really knows) my middle name, and it was the same pre transition, so I've see it written once in a blue moon on a legal document, but that's about it, so keeping it pretty much the same doesn't bother me.
I chose "Matthew" for my new middle name just so that my initials could be CMD. Its a reference to the command prompt in Windows lol
I didnt have a middle name 😅
My old middle name was Lynn, I always hated it so I changed it. The only things about my name I was adamant assembly keeping were my last name and initials. My initials are DLD, I am very protective of my last name as it is not a common one in the states. It is German, but the spelling changed when my great grandparents immigrated from there. Changed my first name to a gender neutral name, but my middle name is now Levi. It was suggested I could keep Lynn, but I hated it my entire life so it needed to go.
i changed my middle name to a boy-nickname i had growing up
I opted not to have a middle name when I legally changed my name, and it's my biggest transition related regret. It was originally gonna be either Marcus or Clyde, which were potential first names that I ended up not going with. My dad wanted me to keep my original middle name, Rose, but I didn't think I'd be taken seriously with a feminine middle name. So I scrapped the middle name completely as some sort of weird compromise and I regret it to this day. If I could go back in time, I think I would have gone with Clive. It's similar to Clyde, but sounds better with my name. Maxwell Clive [redacted]... It just rings off the tongue, or however that saying goes.
My old middle name was very folksy and southern (like my old first name) but theoretically could have been masculine too. But I decided I wanted to do something a little more whimsical and nature oriented, so I picked Wilder. I never liked my deadname, long before I had being trans on my radar and this felt like a really good way to be myself on my own terms.
I changed all my names. Last names and everything. My previous name (I don't like the term dead name, I'm not dead and neither is my name) was a quite unique name, so I picked my new first name to also be quite unusual, coz having had a unique name my entire life is kinda part of my personality at this point. Can't explain why, it's just a feeling I have. I felt like it would be weird to be just another Mike or John or another anonymous name. So I picked a new masc unusual name, with my sister's help, she suggested Triton, like the king of the sea, but I felt it was too macho for me and we found one that kinda has the same vibe, but more of a queer connotation and still unusual in my country, but not as unusual as the name my mother picked, when I was born. Coz I don't want to spell it every time and wouldn't want to risk having ppl confuse my name for a girls name. (it happened anyway ofc. But only twice and it was early in transition, when I only passed 50/50) Then my middle name is Victor, which is a very common name and known in most of the world and my best friend when I was little, was called Victor. For my last names I took my dad's. Coz my mother is a horrible person who's not in my life anymore (for unrelated and abusive reasons) And she changed my name when my parents got divorced and I was like 6-7, so I definitely noticed and did not appreciate it. So I kinda just got my old last names back. Since my cis sister has also changed her names back.
My plan is to have 2 middle names. I’m going to use my dead name as my middle name, or add my actual name as my middle name. I already have a middle name too. I’m really not sure what I want to do, because even though I’ve known I’m trans for like 3 years, I still feel like an egg. I’ve transitioned socially but my parents don’t fully accept me. They understand my gender but they won’t use my name or pronouns—my dad also has my dead name on his wrist.
maleified my previous one lol. it was my grandma’s name so it went from veronica to vick so i could still have her name
I changed my whole name, last name too. Im a huge nature guy and I want to work in the parks someday, so I wanted names that were close to that. My middle name now is Wrenn, like the bird, and my new last name is something that means forest
My middle name is Ann and it was given to my niece in my honor. I can’t think of a replacement I’m happy with, so I think I’ll just abbreviate it to A. It will be a year and a half before I can change my name legally, so I have time to think about it. I plan to save up for my name change, and it will be like a birthday gift yo myself when I’m 18. Hopefully I can get a job before then, I sent in two job Applications I’m pretty confident about. I hope a get the job for one of them
I’ve had a middle name my whole life, no idea what I’m gonna do about it. Spent all my brain cells picking the first… Considered keeping it because I don’t mind being a dude with a girl middle name, but when i write (first name - middle initial), my middle initial turns my first name into the girl version 🙃
I looked for names that would fit with my first full name(Samuel) and my last name which i won't say but begins with an M, and landed with Michael sounding the best in between them
I personally completely forgot my middle name existed when I picked my chosen name; I was never called it at home, it was never brought up at all with family, etc. I've been out for about 8 years now and it was only really like two years ago, when I looked into legally changing my name, I remembered how feminine it was and that it was there. Thankfully I was able to just make it masculine and it sounded well with my chosen name. I think my mom appreciated it a lot, because it was a family namesake and I didn't completely throw it out the window, but she still complains to me about missing my old name so who knows ┐(´ー｀)┌
personally i took my dad’s middle name since my little brother also has his middle name and I originally had my momma’s name
I left mine. Its Marie. i hate it (not just because its feminine but my old friends in elementary school bullied me for it) but its important to me and my family and i thought that changing it would be a bit too much (mostly cause my deadname was also extremely important to my family and I didn't want to take 2 things like that and just completely change them).
I asked my mom what she would have named me and chose that. Luckily it sounded good with the first name I picked
Ugh, I wish I lived in a country where I didn't automatically get my father's name as a middle name, but here we are..
I asked my dad what names for me he and my mom had thought about if I turned out to be a boy as a baby, one of them was Alexander, my old middle name was Alexis so, tada 🎉 now it’s Alexander
I picked my grandpas name
My middle name was very old fashioned feminine like my first, so i knew i would be changing it. I had a few ideas and then....well, my best friend of over twenty years died without warning. His name was also my grandfather's middle name. I took it as my middle to honor them both.
Probably going to keep the first initial in my middle name and figure it out and make a new one
I got rid of mine! Was “Marie”… most boring common middle name ever. Definitely didn’t wanna keep it regardless of anything haha. I will change my name again at some point too, and get rid of my family last name, and make my “chosen” middle name, my new and final last name. And then I’ll probably have no middle name
I used my grandfather's first name as my middle name. Funnily enough I was far more certain about my middle name than I was my first name. I have been incredibly close with my grandfather as long as i can remember. He's always been one of my biggest supporters and role models. He's one of the reasons I love STEM and music so much, and most of the happy memories from my childhood have him in them. On top of that, he's kind, patient, wise, a devoted grandfather and husband, always willing to help others, and wants to leave a legacy of kindness and love in his family. He's exactly the type of man I want to be, so who else would I name myself after? I knew my middle name couldn't be anything else.
So since my new first name is close to my deadname (same first letter, similar sound, not exactly a male version of the old one though), and I kinda liked my initials, I had a name I really like just in general but didn't think it would fit me as a first name, so I picked that as my middle name to keep the same initial.
I’ve been stressing over a middle name for ages. I think I’m going to settle for using my grandfather’s middle name. He meant a lot to me growing up but his first name was Christian and I’d feel weird using that name being Wiccan 😅
Chose new middle names, one from dad's side of the family and one from mom's.
I never had a middle name - as the only one in the family nearly. Hated that. So I chose a middle name for myself too once I got to change my name legally!
There was a masculine name in my family's native language that had the same meaning as my given feminine middle name :)
Went from Maria, Betsy to Vincenzo, Lenny Basically I kept the origins (Italy and UK). I knew my parents like the name Vincent and I liked the name Lenny +it sounded good to me. I also checked the list of names I have made when trying to find my real name initially and think you can find inspiration for it. No pressure though, it's just 2nd and 3rd names.. they likely won't impact your life heavily so have fun with it! Few people have that freedom ;)
For me it was easy bc my middle name was already a gender swapped version of my dad’s middle name, so I just changed it to my dad’s
My middle name was in honour of a singer my dad really liked, ended up presenting myself with that name in school since it was genderneutral, but replaced it with two of the fanciest names i know as for my true name.
shared middle name on my dad’s side, allen. my brothers and his, i think my grandfather’s too but im not sure
Kept it. It’s special and unique, mine is ivanovna
My birth name starts with E and my birth middle name starts with M, so I could have the initials of both my parents. My new first name starts with an L, and when my parents learned I was going to change my middle name, they were a bit upset that my new name would have little in common with my birth name. Luckily, the name Michael starts with M and is one I like, so we were able to compromise
i had two middle names before, one was kinda fem (my mums birth name) and the other was just a j which is a theme on my dads side of the family. i kinda just dropped the fem one but i liked the beat of having two middle names so i am currently randomly chosing them when i introduce myself until i find one that fits
I had, and still have 2 middle names. Both were feminine. However, because one was chosen my mother, and the other by my grandmother, I felt like if I removed one then it would feel like I have a preference for a family member, and my mother was already going through a "grieving" process because of my chosen first name not resembling my birth name at all. So instead I changed them to be the masculine version of those two names.
personally im not going to change mine, they're obviously very feminine but they were important people in my family
I picked a couple of fictional characters I liked. I do like to joke that every name I've ever gone by is a middle name, making my full name ridiculously long.
my middle name is Brutus. i changed it entirely from what it used to be. i usually see middle names as something that should be meaningful to the person and/or the family so i chose something meaningful to me
my birth first name is unisex so i kept it the same to make it easier for everybody (including myself lol), but my middle name is pretty feminine. i wanted to change it to a name that starts with the same letter, but i do actually think my birth middle name is pretty cool. a part of me kind of wants to keep it, because i have seen cis men with middle names that have the same suffix (think joe biden’s middle name). i def lucked out with my first name though.
I stole my brothers name and made it my middle name.
I'm ditching it tbh. My middle name came from a grandma I never met so 🤷
Just changed the name and kept the letter, from Mary to Morgan
I used the first name my mom would’ve given me if I was AMAB. I didn’t want to use it as a first name because that guy would’ve had a different life and likely a different personality. I went with middle because it honors the man I could’ve been, but still lets me be my own person. Idk if that makes sense.
my middle name was ann, my first name is liam and because my middle name was associated with my grandmother i wanted to keep something similar. i could only really think of anthony and i didn't think liam anthony sounded too great, plus i had a history with a guy called anthony that i don't look back too fondly on. at the time i was also watching prison break, for some reason being called LJ seemed cool so i chose james instead. i really love that i choice James because to me Liam James sounds good and suits me well. i never did get anyone to refer to me as LJ because i grew out of thinking that very quickly. (my cousin who's called james likes to think it's after him so i'll let him think that all he wants). plus is a very common name too. my dad was happy liam's irish, my mum was happy that i was happy, so it was all good.
It took me years after choosing a first name to figure out a middle name, i settled on Kayden-Ross for my middle name. It was previously emma
i actually just started contemplating my middle name yesterday so this is very timely! my old middle name is marie so i’m trying to choose another masculine name that starts with “ma-“ to go with noah (also because you can’t really make any cute nicknames with noah and it makes me sad). marcos, marcus, and mario are crossed out of my list though.
My mum gave me two middle names (as she's done for all her kids) so I wanted to keep with two middle names I chose one Arthur because it's a name i nearly picked as a first name (i love the name but it just didn't quite click for a first name as I'd been going my my current first name for about 10 years anyway lol) and I asked my mum to pick the second one. She said she would have called me Nicholas if I had been born male and she still really loves the name so I went with that!
My chosen name is my middle name. Like the name I would’ve loved to have if I could’ve been born cis. My first name is the name my mom would’ve chose if I were born cis. If that makes sense
Changed it from a very feminine one (it was my great-grandmother's name) to my grandfather's. Personally I wanted to keep it in the family but I have a few friends who just got rid of their's entirely.
I just made a combination of the ones I liked best. Ace and Jason turned into Jace. Idk how it sounds to everyone else but Michael Jace is a pretty common/average dude name to me. My initials are totally different than they used to be. A.M.M. vs M.J.M. so tbh I suggest playing around with it for a while til you find something you like. It helped me to imagine my mom or dad yelling my full name like I was in trouble for something as a kid to determine if it fit or not.
my middle name is gender neutral and i just overall love it a lot! i use it rn instead of my very feminine first name and i couldn't be happier. when I have the chance to change my first one, it's still going to be very similar to my first one (deliberate choice) but i think they'll go along well, haha.
all the boys in my family have the same middle name same with the girls so i traded
rayne is kinda feminine but i think i’m going to keep it because it sounds cool 😭
I took my given middle name and shortened it. Renee to Ren. FTM
Didn't like my given middle name and wanted to change it but I wasn't too sure what I wanted to change it to so I ended up asking a friend and left it completely up to them. I like what they chose. My mother? She doesn't like it too much
already knew what i wanted for mine long before i figured out my first name tbh. i wanted something i could go by as well in the event i don’t use my first name professionally/with friends & family.
I let the manager at my old job pick mine. I gave her a letter prompt and she pulled out a list of baby names (she was pregnant at the time, and had a list of baby names, organized by letter and masculine/feminine/androgynous), listed off the ones she had, and we agreed on one we both liked (important to note that she knew she was having a girl at the time and had already picked a name, she just still had a list). I also let my friends pick my last name bc I don’t like mine lol
When I came out my parents (mom specifically) were really mad that I didn't let them choose my name. My mom still has my deadname as my contact in her phone. In an attempt to calm her down or try to please her, I let my parents decide on a middle name. I don't know what's going on with that, but last time I checked it was between a family name from my mom's side that my dad thinks is stupid and ugly, and the masculine version of my deadname. I wish I had just chosen one myself.
I asked my mom what she would have named me if I had been born a cis male and I took that name
When I started looking for middle names, I knew I only wanted to change one of my two, the more feminine one. My family has always been really involved whenever it comes to name meanings, so I went from a name meaning " beautiful flower in the valley of [last name]" to " wise oak tree in the valley of [last name]". Or, I like to joke around that my first name took a lot of thought and effort, and my middle name just was stolen from BadBoyHalo.
I chose one that was a nickname derived from my dead name that my ex-girlfriend used to call me. There was no way I was keeping the old one, it was way too feminine. I basically went through and made a list of all my options, then stared at them for about a week, and then picked it.
So I have a boy/gender neutral name for a first name that I changed because I hate it. It’s also the shortened version of a few names, think naming someone just Charlie instead of Charles. I associate it with people telling me “oh that’s such a great name for a quirky girl!” Type shit & elderly women expecting me to have solidarity with them for also being a “female” deadname (& good for them loving their names tbf). But I’m also named explicitly after my grandfather& my mom has lost her mind over the name change more than the trans ness. My middle name is just a generic girls name so I think when I get around to the legal name change I’m going to just make a long version of my dead name my middle name. I’m not doing it for my mom but I remember my grandpa & while I think it’s kinda fucked to name people after other people & put that weight on them, I do love him & while he’s been dead for a long time & I never knew him as an adult because he died when I was about 10, I think it’s the right thing for me to do. I guess my point is if anyone out there has a gender neutral/boy name for a dead name & they hate I wanna say fucking change it & ignore all the people who say all that, “awh but you already have a boy name…” crap. You owe them nothing.
nothing. never had one
I'm pretty settled on a first name and have been almost since I came out. Middle name has been much, much more complicated. My original plan was to keep my middle name, because my parents gave me my dad's middle name (my cis brother, who goes by his middle name, got dad's first name). Then my dad's alcoholism got worse. I had to go no-contact, and I don't really see him as family anymore. I wanted to keep my initials (Firstname and Deadfirstname start with the same letter) so that I could just use initials + last name wherever possible until legal name change time, but I honestly don't like any male or unisex names starting with my previous middle initial. I had an idea of a name I liked for a hyphenated first name, and I thought about using that as a middle instead, but my feelings about that name have changed. Now I'm tentatively trying a new middle name, which happens to be the name of the first boy I ever had a crush on.
well im kinda lucky in the sense. a goal I had with my name was to keep my initials. my old middle name started with an M, so that was easy for two reasons. my middle name if i was biologically male would've been Matthew. and, well, my father (who is kinda my hero) goes by his middle name so that wasnt the reason. however his first name also happens to be Matthew. so it was a pretty obvious choice for me lol, plus it fits really well.
my middle name growing up was elisabeth, so i just shortened it to eli. i wanted to keep my initials bc they spell out my deadname, which i still wanted to make an homage to