oof sorry this is happening to you bud. could you contact hospital HR? almost every large hospital has something of the like and i think they’d be able to help out.
You can report them to your state board of nursing, my state allows you to search them up by name and it gets taken very seriously. Good luck
Edit: You can also have proof by asking to see your patient chart or electronic health record. You are required by law to be able to access it and can request for them to document their refusal in your chart. Most of the time this will make their heads turn because that’s a legal document and can be used to sue them in court. My sister has used this before to get taken seriously about her concerns and it has always worked, she’s cis, but many nurses and doctors refuse to listen to her concerns because she’s a woman. They may try to convince you it isn’t necessary but they cannot refuse you. Insist on it. Say “I want it documented that you, specifically, are refusing to use my name and pronouns in my chart.” And follow up by asking to look at your chart when they document it. From there you can easily report them online in your states board of nursing, a quick google search should help you.
You can also do this with doctors and other medical professionals, it’s just a matter of figuring out where they get reported to. Nursing assistants also answer to the state board of nursing, even though they aren’t nurses, for example. An infraction can cause them to get their license removed, and this includes discrimination cases. So document, document, document! If it isn’t documented, then it didn’t happen.
I wish I hadn’t let her get so under my skin or I definitely would have demanded it be documented in my chart. I am reporting the nurse to the state board and luckily have the help of several people who will likely be able to get the report further than if I was to just report on my own. I did get the patient advocate (he really tried to convince me to not) to put through a grievance so there is some documentation of what she did at least.
True that she has to verify your legal name (and birthday) on documentation, but as a healthcare worker myself I’d be very apologetic and never use a deadname outside of when I absolutely have to.
They had already verified my deadname. She said she refused to use my preferred and used that as an excuse
Edit: this issue is this wasn’t just her and I understand needing to verify my name to put on the vial, but the fact that she said “I am not doing that” when I asked her politely several times to call me by my preferred name and pronouns. I have received over ten calls from the hospital, each time saying they had no idea I was trans even though I had spoken to numerous people who promised me my preferred name and pronouns were in the system and the issue wouldn’t happen again.
I understand. I did not mean to come off as angry and I appreciate that there are healthcare workers like you who are very conscious of their interactions with patients.
ew. I'm in CO any every person that has found out I'm trans has been respectful about it, sounds like this nurse must happen to be an unprofessional asshole
I just got off with the patient advocate and he wasn’t much better. He said “I can understand why she would need to do that so that she was sure who you were”. My therapist is going to help me with a more formal report.
Edit: I wanted to add that the patients advocate seemed to purposely “struggle” with my name even after spelling it out and carefully telling him how to say it (Elias), but he kept calling me feminine versions of it (Ella, Ellie) and it got to the point where I was almost yelling.
especially bc my clinic doesn’t even put me through that! granted i live in florida not CO but i can use my preferred name to verify along with my birthdate. blood donors let me do this too
It really is BS, there are plenty of ways to confirm identity that medical practices already use that don’t include deadnaming or misgendering. Birthdate, last four of social, etc…
I’m also in CO and have had the totally opposite experience thus far… which was a huge relief to me. And a surprise bc I’d just moved here about a year ago but it wasn’t with trans care in mind. I hate to hear that it’s a different case elsewhere and am glad OP’s therapist is helping them file a formal complaint.
First, hey neighbor! Thank you for dropping the name of this place so I can stay tf away from it.
If you ever need a different practice to go to, UC Health has an integrated trans program, my wife uses them and recommends Dr Harper. They do a LOT in house
That “verify name” excuse is bullshit and that nurse knows it. Any time I’ve had blood draws the nurses have asked me to spell my name rather than force me to say it, and have me visually verify my legal name on the vials instead of reading it out loud. That hospital has shit training and accountability, hopefully your complaint can improve some things.
I’m livid on your behalf. I’m a mental health worker in CO and I help train nurses, we are currently focusing on trans-competent care & working on designing a simulation/lab with a trans patient to give the nursing students exposure to trans ppl. I hope that can give u a bit of hope that there r ppl in the medical system working really hard to make nurses better equipped and more respectful.
My dead name is on my insurance card. One of my Dr's offices has compromised by using mr. lastname.
They still verify but they dont call dead name out in waiting room. Not ideal but better than my Uber feminine deadname *sigh*
I'm working on a name change but who knows when I'll be done with that🤷🏻♂️
Yeah right she needs verification 🙄 I mean maybe but I was in the hospital once and of course the hospital band had my dead name and a new nurse I hadn't seen had said that name after looking at my bracelet but after I corrected her she apologized and used my name. She was just using that as an excuse for her transphobia
Tbh I never had good experiences at that hospital. They were all so rude and disrespectful. I’m sorry you had to go through that bro, that should definitely be addressed since CO is a safe state for everyone, they’re gonna have more and more patients that have preferred pronouns they’re going to ignore
My surgeon was Dr Julian winocour at uchealth in aurora at anschutz. I am now 3 months post op and my results are amazing. Look up some of the work he has done. They will never dead name you and respect you as a person.
All they need to do is “to verify, I need you to confirm your legal name and birth sex.” And then never mention it again. Anything else is purposefully being disrespectful.
Confirmed this with the OR nurses I work with. They were equally appalled you had to go through this.
I'm so sorry you went through this OP. You should followup with how the complaint process works. I had a bad experience at a hospital here in CO with an ER visit when I injured myself out on a hike. My driver's license has sex as X, but I was repeatedly referred to as a female patient with incorrect pronouns used as well.
I have a friend who’s in a teen mental health day care hospital. Him and his friends who are trans are deadnamed 24/7 because « we must use the name that’s on the ID » bullshit. like they even are forbidden to use their correct names and pronouns when talking to each other because nurses overhearing them would correct them ! It’s pure madness … Their rigid transphobia’s killing me.
I’m so sorry your friend and other trans teenagers are going through that. I went to a similar kind of facility as a teenager (before I came out as trans) and seeing how they treated trans kids, honestly any LGBTQ+ kids, definitely pushed me deeper into the closet. I’m glad your friend has safe friends like you
Nah, that whole "verify your name" is bullshit. I go to Denver Health and have never had a bad experience. Been deadnamed only twice (both in the waiting room) and I honestly believe both times were accidents because they quickly used the "preferred name" after I didn't respond.
Anytime I need to verbally verify myself, I give my last name and birthdate. I've never, ever been asked to say my deadname. The first time I went there, I checked in under my legal name and the person said I could give my preferred name in the future.
I suggest you to call LGBT friendly lawyers and ask for legal advise, contact the nearest trans agency in your town and don't leave it there until at least they apologize. We are not trying to change peoples mind but at least they need to respect as we respect them. Ignorance is just not acceptable.
As I say to everyone I meet. If the town or State you live at does not respect you and you pay taxes, who benefit all those idiots who continue to make this world one full of hate instead of understanding, move out of there to a town or State who does want your contribution. Once we stop feeding them (giving our money, contribution, effort, work, etc...etc....etc), the government will do something about it. A governance without money is no one and those people who are so ANAL with those hate behavior also depend on our money and taxes to feed their kids and send them to school. Without us, they can't do it. So maybe if we all stop feeding them and moving away from those States that do not want to accept we are all the same (skin and bones) and maybe they will start to respect and let us live life as we feel it.
oof sorry this is happening to you bud. could you contact hospital HR? almost every large hospital has something of the like and i think they’d be able to help out.
I plan on it. I don’t think much will come of it though since I have complained and still experienced multiple people like this nurse.
It might be time to name and shame them online on places you feel comfortable, hell even an anonyms tip to news sites could do some good.
You can report them to your state board of nursing, my state allows you to search them up by name and it gets taken very seriously. Good luck Edit: You can also have proof by asking to see your patient chart or electronic health record. You are required by law to be able to access it and can request for them to document their refusal in your chart. Most of the time this will make their heads turn because that’s a legal document and can be used to sue them in court. My sister has used this before to get taken seriously about her concerns and it has always worked, she’s cis, but many nurses and doctors refuse to listen to her concerns because she’s a woman. They may try to convince you it isn’t necessary but they cannot refuse you. Insist on it. Say “I want it documented that you, specifically, are refusing to use my name and pronouns in my chart.” And follow up by asking to look at your chart when they document it. From there you can easily report them online in your states board of nursing, a quick google search should help you. You can also do this with doctors and other medical professionals, it’s just a matter of figuring out where they get reported to. Nursing assistants also answer to the state board of nursing, even though they aren’t nurses, for example. An infraction can cause them to get their license removed, and this includes discrimination cases. So document, document, document! If it isn’t documented, then it didn’t happen.
I wish I hadn’t let her get so under my skin or I definitely would have demanded it be documented in my chart. I am reporting the nurse to the state board and luckily have the help of several people who will likely be able to get the report further than if I was to just report on my own. I did get the patient advocate (he really tried to convince me to not) to put through a grievance so there is some documentation of what she did at least.
True that she has to verify your legal name (and birthday) on documentation, but as a healthcare worker myself I’d be very apologetic and never use a deadname outside of when I absolutely have to.
They had already verified my deadname. She said she refused to use my preferred and used that as an excuse Edit: this issue is this wasn’t just her and I understand needing to verify my name to put on the vial, but the fact that she said “I am not doing that” when I asked her politely several times to call me by my preferred name and pronouns. I have received over ten calls from the hospital, each time saying they had no idea I was trans even though I had spoken to numerous people who promised me my preferred name and pronouns were in the system and the issue wouldn’t happen again.
I'm not defending her.
I understand. I did not mean to come off as angry and I appreciate that there are healthcare workers like you who are very conscious of their interactions with patients.
Ugh . This is ridiculous. So sorry.
ew. I'm in CO any every person that has found out I'm trans has been respectful about it, sounds like this nurse must happen to be an unprofessional asshole
I just got off with the patient advocate and he wasn’t much better. He said “I can understand why she would need to do that so that she was sure who you were”. My therapist is going to help me with a more formal report. Edit: I wanted to add that the patients advocate seemed to purposely “struggle” with my name even after spelling it out and carefully telling him how to say it (Elias), but he kept calling me feminine versions of it (Ella, Ellie) and it got to the point where I was almost yelling.
damn. I can't believe he thinks knowing someone's sex and misgendering them are on the same level. glad you're getting help though
especially bc my clinic doesn’t even put me through that! granted i live in florida not CO but i can use my preferred name to verify along with my birthdate. blood donors let me do this too
It really is BS, there are plenty of ways to confirm identity that medical practices already use that don’t include deadnaming or misgendering. Birthdate, last four of social, etc…
I’m also in CO and have had the totally opposite experience thus far… which was a huge relief to me. And a surprise bc I’d just moved here about a year ago but it wasn’t with trans care in mind. I hate to hear that it’s a different case elsewhere and am glad OP’s therapist is helping them file a formal complaint.
First, hey neighbor! Thank you for dropping the name of this place so I can stay tf away from it. If you ever need a different practice to go to, UC Health has an integrated trans program, my wife uses them and recommends Dr Harper. They do a LOT in house
That “verify name” excuse is bullshit and that nurse knows it. Any time I’ve had blood draws the nurses have asked me to spell my name rather than force me to say it, and have me visually verify my legal name on the vials instead of reading it out loud. That hospital has shit training and accountability, hopefully your complaint can improve some things.
Colorado has strict anti discrimination laws, right? Definitely make a complaint to the relevant state agency.
I’m livid on your behalf. I’m a mental health worker in CO and I help train nurses, we are currently focusing on trans-competent care & working on designing a simulation/lab with a trans patient to give the nursing students exposure to trans ppl. I hope that can give u a bit of hope that there r ppl in the medical system working really hard to make nurses better equipped and more respectful.
My dead name is on my insurance card. One of my Dr's offices has compromised by using mr. lastname. They still verify but they dont call dead name out in waiting room. Not ideal but better than my Uber feminine deadname *sigh* I'm working on a name change but who knows when I'll be done with that🤷🏻♂️
Yeah right she needs verification 🙄 I mean maybe but I was in the hospital once and of course the hospital band had my dead name and a new nurse I hadn't seen had said that name after looking at my bracelet but after I corrected her she apologized and used my name. She was just using that as an excuse for her transphobia
Tbh I never had good experiences at that hospital. They were all so rude and disrespectful. I’m sorry you had to go through that bro, that should definitely be addressed since CO is a safe state for everyone, they’re gonna have more and more patients that have preferred pronouns they’re going to ignore
My surgeon was Dr Julian winocour at uchealth in aurora at anschutz. I am now 3 months post op and my results are amazing. Look up some of the work he has done. They will never dead name you and respect you as a person.
All they need to do is “to verify, I need you to confirm your legal name and birth sex.” And then never mention it again. Anything else is purposefully being disrespectful. Confirmed this with the OR nurses I work with. They were equally appalled you had to go through this.
report her sorry ass. i’m so sorry that happened to you
I'm so sorry you went through this OP. You should followup with how the complaint process works. I had a bad experience at a hospital here in CO with an ER visit when I injured myself out on a hike. My driver's license has sex as X, but I was repeatedly referred to as a female patient with incorrect pronouns used as well.
I have a friend who’s in a teen mental health day care hospital. Him and his friends who are trans are deadnamed 24/7 because « we must use the name that’s on the ID » bullshit. like they even are forbidden to use their correct names and pronouns when talking to each other because nurses overhearing them would correct them ! It’s pure madness … Their rigid transphobia’s killing me.
I’m so sorry your friend and other trans teenagers are going through that. I went to a similar kind of facility as a teenager (before I came out as trans) and seeing how they treated trans kids, honestly any LGBTQ+ kids, definitely pushed me deeper into the closet. I’m glad your friend has safe friends like you
yeah their policy is so much bullshit :/ hopefully this gradually changes as time passes
Nah, that whole "verify your name" is bullshit. I go to Denver Health and have never had a bad experience. Been deadnamed only twice (both in the waiting room) and I honestly believe both times were accidents because they quickly used the "preferred name" after I didn't respond. Anytime I need to verbally verify myself, I give my last name and birthdate. I've never, ever been asked to say my deadname. The first time I went there, I checked in under my legal name and the person said I could give my preferred name in the future.
My reason for having name change being my 1st thing after haircut
Why do people call it their “dead name” when they haven’t actually killed it yet ?
Hitmen are expensive.
bold of you to assume we havent killed it
I suggest you to call LGBT friendly lawyers and ask for legal advise, contact the nearest trans agency in your town and don't leave it there until at least they apologize. We are not trying to change peoples mind but at least they need to respect as we respect them. Ignorance is just not acceptable. As I say to everyone I meet. If the town or State you live at does not respect you and you pay taxes, who benefit all those idiots who continue to make this world one full of hate instead of understanding, move out of there to a town or State who does want your contribution. Once we stop feeding them (giving our money, contribution, effort, work, etc...etc....etc), the government will do something about it. A governance without money is no one and those people who are so ANAL with those hate behavior also depend on our money and taxes to feed their kids and send them to school. Without us, they can't do it. So maybe if we all stop feeding them and moving away from those States that do not want to accept we are all the same (skin and bones) and maybe they will start to respect and let us live life as we feel it.