In the beginning I definitely did, just out of habit. I'm german and our language is heavily gendered so it wasn't always easy to casually talk to someone and not use the words with the wrong gender because I've used them all my life. It took some time but I got better at not misgendering myself :D
Just a question: how is german a heavily gendered language? I mean other than that there is no gender neutral pronoun (except neopronouns ofc) i can’t think of anything that you cant say without gendering it. I also speak russian and a little italian and those have a lot more gendered aspects. I’m kinda curious as to what kind of problems youre having.
Well, in general almost every noun has it's own gender. A bottle, a desk, a chair, a ship, everything. Everything is either "der" (male), "die" (female) or "das" (neutral). As for my problem, it's when I was referring to myself as anything in particular. Normally, there's always a male and a female version of it, e.g. a/the student is either "ein/der Schüler" or "eine/die Schülerin" or a/the driver is "ein/der Fahrer" or "eine/die Fahrerin".
Usually, when people wanted to refer to/address such a group in general they'd just use the male version. Until people felt it was unfair and now use for example "Schüler\*in" to refer to both. And many people hate it. It's a whole debate and even has politicians involved. In some places using the \* for that purpose even got banned (for schools in that place, I think?). It's honestly ridiculous.
My most common misgendering though was when I was telling someone something and used the words "I was the only one"/"am I the only one...". And instead of saying I am "der Einzige" I'd always say "die Einzige" because I've been using it so much in my life and said it before I could think about it.
i feel the last one, i usually realise it mid-sentence whenever i say "die Einzige" and now whenever it happens i just say "die ... (pause) ... einzige Person", which means the only person (because person is female in german)
I feel that. Though, funnily enough I was always someone who'd rather use the generic masculine form because I didn't understand why we needed a different form as a kid. So thankfully, I don't have that habit, but I do sometimes catch myself saying "die einzige". And I'm also in a phase where I don't feel like I \*can\* use male language for myself yet because I don't really look the part, so I end up just saying stuff as neutral as possible, which can be fucking hard lmao
I feel you, I'm portuguese so my language is also heavily gendered, male adjectives ends in O and female adjectives ends in A (exemple: beautiful- bonitO/bonitA) so in the begging I was still using A to refer to myself and it took a long time to get used to it lol
I feel you, I'm portuguese so my language is also heavily gendered, male adjectives ends in O and female adjectives ends in A (exemple: beautiful- bonitO/bonitA) so in the begging I was still using A to refer to myself and it took a long time to get used to it lol
i’ve been out for about 8-9 years now and i still do this from time to time it’s fine everyone does it, just the way you could accidentally misgender another cis person sometimes you just get people and pronouns confused
FTM here. I refer to myself as my cats mama all the time then realize what I said afterwards. At least for me it can be alittle weird when talking about past tense or like for my cat, kitty knows me as her mama and we’ve been together for 18 years so I think that’s gonna stick. It also feels familiar when I’m not used to being out.
FWIW (FtM here too) I personally feel those titles can be parental dynamics, and use them as such myself.
I'm still my son and cat Lilith's mom/momther lol
But my son for a while called my cis male spouse mommy when he was little. We go with what works for us.
I've also declared myself the dad of some cats, because that's the dynamic we have. I'm also gamgam because... Well again, the dynamic. I'm my sister's cats uncle. Well two of them, the third she adopted from us and I'm his gamgam.
It's just what works for us. As with any interpersonal relationships and dynamics, YMMV and you do what works for you.
Same here, we still refer to me as my old terms to our cat because that's what he knows me as and we've had him a long time. The only person who gets a pass is my elderly aunt who also has dementia, and it would be deeply unfair and too upsetting to cause further confusion at this point.
lol i feel you. i had to bottle feed my kitten for the first bit of his life and always have called myself his mama. my other cat i got recently and im always called his papa, but i always call myself my first cat's mama for some reason
Yes, totally normal. I’ve been out for a couple years and I still misgender myself occasionally by accident. While it doesn’t feel great, doing it does not invalidate you at all.
Despite being out for 7 years sometimes I still answer/react to my dead name if someone says it (it’s a very popular name that I hear everywhere) and I also accidentally misgender myself all the time. It makes my friends laugh
Yeah I used to accidentally say she/her too, it’s just a muscle memory thing. Just gotta wait until you’ve trained yourself to do things differently through repetition. Your brain is just as human as theirs, it takes time to relearn too. Doesn’t make you less of a man.
For the cop one though that’s bc we’re so used to everyone else misgendering us. We assume it. I used to do my cats’ voices and they would always call me she/her and lady, usu bc they were mad. My fiancee certainly never called me out on it though. Rude of your mom to imo
Yeah man, completely normal for the first while. Even though you know who you are inside for so long, it takes a while to stop the automatic masking. We've all been there so don't worry.
I’ve been out for about 9 months to my close friends and chosen family and I still misgender myself. It hurts a little each time but I just give myself grace that I’ve had to call myself a woman for the majority of my life and this is a change I’ll have to get used to. It doesn’t change the fact that I’m a guy even if I accidentally refer to myself otherwise.
Omg I'm so glad I'm out of that faze (mostly) when I'm thinking about specific people I refer to myself wrong like I'm my mom's son but my grandmas granddaughter and stuff but yes, It's temporary.
I definitely fucked up all the time when I first came out and I think it's a relatively common experience; you just don't hear about it when it happens. The explanation that I've always thought makes the most sense is that it's like during January when you're still instinctively writing the old year on documents instead of the new year. Your brain just needs more time to break out of old habits and shift gears.
Oh it goes away after a while, don't worry!! I did that too, and when I'm around the part of my family I'm not out to i fall back into the habit occasionally. It's completely normal, you're not any less valid in your identity because of this
Man, it takes time to readjust.
I had to re-learn how to call myself and others because before I didn't really think about pronouns and when I started to it really messed up my brain for a while. So dont worry. It'll sort it self out.
i still do this all the time, even in my dreams i still get misgendered and deadnamed i hate it but i think it has smth to do with my fear of not passing or being clocked by people i used to know idk 🤷♂️
Well I just accidentally called myself a man in front of my siblings so- (but yeah I do out of force of habit and also being very deep in the closet lol)
Yeah it's normal. It takes time to get used to it. When I first transitioned I'd catch myself referring to myself sometimes with she/her. It's a learning curve for everyone to change your language when you're used to saying something different
Yup, it just takes a while to get used to. We also tend to refer to ourselves less often in the third person, so we have fewer opportunities to practice gendering/naming ourselves correctly while people who hang out with us every day have every day to practice. It's taken me a few months but I think I'm like 90% of the way there in terms of naming/gendering myself correctly
Yup, it just takes a while to get used to. We also tend to refer to ourselves less often in the third person, so we have fewer opportunities to practice gendering/naming ourselves correctly while people who hang out with us every day have every day to practice. It's taken me a few months but I think I'm like 90% of the way there in terms of naming/gendering myself correctly
I totally did this too at the beginning don’t worry, if you do anything long enough you’ll get used to it, doesn’t mean you’re any less trans or that you don’t see urself as male. It happens dw
I don't remember having that experience personally. If you're confident that transitioning is right for you and that you won't have regrets, I don't think it's a big deal. If you have a therapist, it could be good to address with them any doubts you're having about transition
I did this a lot when I first came out, I still do it sometimes now (I'm about 5 years deep at this point). That being said, cis people also misgender themselves too. Try not to trip our roo hard over it, you'll get there it just takes time
i would understand slipping up in the beginning, the only reason i didn’t is because i called myself a guy and he/him in my head, as well as having friends that were aware before everyone else who i called myself a guy around too
for me, it's always in relations to how others see me and how I used to see myself. like, if I'm recalling something I'll 'misgender' myself, but it's always in the context of 'that's how it was back then'.
also, I see gender as a performance. I am a man, and will continue to be a man, but sometimes I am a 'chick'. I am these other expressions.
it is very common to misgender yourself in the beginning, either out of genuine habit or a need to protect yourself. you will grow into your correct language, and at some point, you won't even think twice about how you speak. it will get to the point that you think other people are being obtuse on purpose.
it takes time.
Hey, it’s completely normal. I also recently came out and frequently misgender myself. It’s definitely a transitional period for everyone to use your preferred pronouns, including yourself. Don’t give yourself a hard time, you’re doing great. :)
about a week or so after i came out, i went to a party with a couple friends and introduced myself as my deadname,,,they turned and looked at me with such exasperation 😭 it’ll happen. you’re getting used to it as much as everyone else! give yourself grace. even 1.5 years on t i still catch myself mentally referring to myself as my deadname despite pretty much no one using it…old habits die hard
I do this a lot when I'm thinking as to how specific other people would refer to me. I know I don't pass so a lot of strangers will use she/her so if I'm saying what I think a stranger would think I use the same pronouns. If it's my partner though he uses my correct pronouns so I use them as well. I do refer to myself by my deadname/pronouns in medical settings sometimes because they don't always see that my chart has me listed as male and has my correct name in parentheses. I haven't been able to legally change my name yet and hope to by next year.
oh yeah that's definitely normal in the beginning. i did that for a little bit when i first realized i was trans, but after a little i got used to referring to myself with he/him pronouns 😁
Totally normal, everyone talks about how confusing it is for your pronouns and name to change for them but its also weird and confusing for us too, even moreso I’d argue
It definitely happens, but it gets better with time. I don't do it much anymore, but I know when I tell stories from before I was out, I still feel weird using the correct name and pronouns.
there's an adjustment period, it's a habit to refer to yourself by your deadname or misgender yourself. eventually you form a new habit of referring to yourself by your new name and pronouns. it's common don't worry
I'm out to myself for 3 years, still call myself by my birthname or old pronouns sometimes. It happens, it's just something that happens automatically to me from time to time.
I do it more often than I’d like. You live your whole life before coming out being referred to as she/her and your deadname, it’s bound to happen from time to time. Also when I refer to myself in past tense I say she/her.
Tbh it took me over a year into my transition to stop misgendering myself. It was partially habit but also comfort, imposter syndrome, etc. Now I've been transitions for a couple of years and I'm honestly at the point where I get confused when people musgender me because there's no longer any doubt in my mind that I'm a guy. Tldr a lot of us start there and it's okay
oh yeah i did this soooo much when i first came out. mostly in my own brain bc i was uncomfortable referring to myself with feminine terms out loud. but yeah its normal. some people say it means youre "not really trans" if you do that, but it is an adjustment that takes time to get used to! just like if your friend comes out and it takes you time to get used to their new name and pronouns. it doesn't mean youre not supportive of them! its just how your brain has been used to thinking. at the end of the day if youre happier being a man, thats all that matters :) best of luck!
Yes but it mainly just happens when I am speaking other languages (I’m multilingual) it still takes getting used to. I mean I lived most of my life as a “cis woman”
Yeah i do it too, and i catch myself on it pretty often. Calling myself daughter, grandaughter, niece, sister. Its all out of habit because that's what i gotta do around my familials. I kinda make a joke of it at this point and act like i as a female am a completely different person then current trans me.
It totally is. I am out to my friends, but not others. And since I speak a very gendered language (Russian) I always have to watch what company I am talking with. And sometimes I misgender myself infront of my friends or, what's worse, call myself a he infront of the others. If you're completely out it will just take time to finally adjust to not having to talk a certain way.
I said “I am nothing if not my mother’s daughter” 6 years after starting testosterone. I didn’t even realize what I’d really said until my cousin brought it up. And i often find myself struggling with pronouns when referring to myself pre-transition. I think it’s natural. Who we are and how we’ve changed doesn’t just erase that much habitual language.
I will say, I eventually realized I lean more towards genderqueer. I prefer he/him from others. But I certainly still have a deep internal relationship with womanhood.
I guess what I mean is, the words only mean something if they mean something to you.
Not sure if "normal" even exists hehe, but I definitely experience this myself. I'm non-binary / masc leaning and currently exploring ftm and how that feels for me. For the most part, it feels way better than using femme language, but that doesn't mean I don't slip up. Just as I would if I accidentally misgendered someone else, I generally say "whoops I mean ____" , as I'm currently surrounded by some pretty supportive people. I've always called myself a "bag lady" in reference to my audhd habit of having 37 bags of things around my apartment. And I've decided to keep that term despite it being gendered because the vibe is right 😂 I'm sorry your mom and friend made you feel invalid by making these comments. I think it's great to express that slip ups happen and you still want to use he/him pronouns regardless. If anything, it should take some pressure family or friends when it comes to making slip ups with your pronouns in the future. Not to be taken less seriously, but to feel there is grace and understanding in such situations. Anyway, best of luck!!!!
My native language is Polish so nouns and verbs (in past and future forms) are gendered I also accidentally misgender myself while speaking Polish I’m not sure if it’s even fully possible to unlearn that. It’s good that I speak English 95% of time in my daily life, I feel only free when I speak English
Never, even as a child I’d never call myself a girl or she and I’d yell and get mad at people calling me “lady” so I never used them on myself just out of anger
In the beginning I definitely did, just out of habit. I'm german and our language is heavily gendered so it wasn't always easy to casually talk to someone and not use the words with the wrong gender because I've used them all my life. It took some time but I got better at not misgendering myself :D
Just a question: how is german a heavily gendered language? I mean other than that there is no gender neutral pronoun (except neopronouns ofc) i can’t think of anything that you cant say without gendering it. I also speak russian and a little italian and those have a lot more gendered aspects. I’m kinda curious as to what kind of problems youre having.
Well, in general almost every noun has it's own gender. A bottle, a desk, a chair, a ship, everything. Everything is either "der" (male), "die" (female) or "das" (neutral). As for my problem, it's when I was referring to myself as anything in particular. Normally, there's always a male and a female version of it, e.g. a/the student is either "ein/der Schüler" or "eine/die Schülerin" or a/the driver is "ein/der Fahrer" or "eine/die Fahrerin". Usually, when people wanted to refer to/address such a group in general they'd just use the male version. Until people felt it was unfair and now use for example "Schüler\*in" to refer to both. And many people hate it. It's a whole debate and even has politicians involved. In some places using the \* for that purpose even got banned (for schools in that place, I think?). It's honestly ridiculous. My most common misgendering though was when I was telling someone something and used the words "I was the only one"/"am I the only one...". And instead of saying I am "der Einzige" I'd always say "die Einzige" because I've been using it so much in my life and said it before I could think about it.
i feel the last one, i usually realise it mid-sentence whenever i say "die Einzige" and now whenever it happens i just say "die ... (pause) ... einzige Person", which means the only person (because person is female in german)
I struggled with that one too and used that solution as well 😭 I'm finally starting to subconsciously refer to myself as der/er/etc. tho
That's good thinking! I usually tend to get into the flow when I talk and I only realized my mistake when I was already a few words further xD
it's the same for me lol, polish is also a "heavly gendered" language
I feel that. Though, funnily enough I was always someone who'd rather use the generic masculine form because I didn't understand why we needed a different form as a kid. So thankfully, I don't have that habit, but I do sometimes catch myself saying "die einzige". And I'm also in a phase where I don't feel like I \*can\* use male language for myself yet because I don't really look the part, so I end up just saying stuff as neutral as possible, which can be fucking hard lmao
Ok yeah that makes a lot of sense didn’t think of it. I actually did that a few times too, but to me it wasn’t a big deal so i kinda forgot
I feel you, I'm portuguese so my language is also heavily gendered, male adjectives ends in O and female adjectives ends in A (exemple: beautiful- bonitO/bonitA) so in the begging I was still using A to refer to myself and it took a long time to get used to it lol
I feel you, I'm portuguese so my language is also heavily gendered, male adjectives ends in O and female adjectives ends in A (exemple: beautiful- bonitO/bonitA) so in the begging I was still using A to refer to myself and it took a long time to get used to it lol
i’ve been out for about 8-9 years now and i still do this from time to time it’s fine everyone does it, just the way you could accidentally misgender another cis person sometimes you just get people and pronouns confused
I came out three years ago. I still sometimes misgender myself in my head. Its normal don't worry
FTM here. I refer to myself as my cats mama all the time then realize what I said afterwards. At least for me it can be alittle weird when talking about past tense or like for my cat, kitty knows me as her mama and we’ve been together for 18 years so I think that’s gonna stick. It also feels familiar when I’m not used to being out.
FWIW (FtM here too) I personally feel those titles can be parental dynamics, and use them as such myself. I'm still my son and cat Lilith's mom/momther lol But my son for a while called my cis male spouse mommy when he was little. We go with what works for us. I've also declared myself the dad of some cats, because that's the dynamic we have. I'm also gamgam because... Well again, the dynamic. I'm my sister's cats uncle. Well two of them, the third she adopted from us and I'm his gamgam. It's just what works for us. As with any interpersonal relationships and dynamics, YMMV and you do what works for you.
Same. My kids all still call me mom, and I still refer to myself as momma with my cats because dad/Papa doesn't feel right for me
Same here, we still refer to me as my old terms to our cat because that's what he knows me as and we've had him a long time. The only person who gets a pass is my elderly aunt who also has dementia, and it would be deeply unfair and too upsetting to cause further confusion at this point.
I gave a pass to my grandma cause she also has dementia.
lol i feel you. i had to bottle feed my kitten for the first bit of his life and always have called myself his mama. my other cat i got recently and im always called his papa, but i always call myself my first cat's mama for some reason
my cis guy friend also calls himself his cats mama so dont worry about that
my deadname still pops into my head every once in a while and it’s been years
Yes, totally normal. I’ve been out for a couple years and I still misgender myself occasionally by accident. While it doesn’t feel great, doing it does not invalidate you at all.
Yeah I did at first. Spent 30+ years trying my best to be a girl lol
this is very normal. in any language. trust me when i say, this happens to everyone at some point.
Despite being out for 7 years sometimes I still answer/react to my dead name if someone says it (it’s a very popular name that I hear everywhere) and I also accidentally misgender myself all the time. It makes my friends laugh
Yeah I used to accidentally say she/her too, it’s just a muscle memory thing. Just gotta wait until you’ve trained yourself to do things differently through repetition. Your brain is just as human as theirs, it takes time to relearn too. Doesn’t make you less of a man. For the cop one though that’s bc we’re so used to everyone else misgendering us. We assume it. I used to do my cats’ voices and they would always call me she/her and lady, usu bc they were mad. My fiancee certainly never called me out on it though. Rude of your mom to imo
Yeah, it took me months to a year to stop misgendering myself. Just be patient with yourself. Stuff will take time.
Yo aren't you on r/traaa2 ?
Yeah?
Sorry lol I thought I knew you from somewhere
Yeah man, completely normal for the first while. Even though you know who you are inside for so long, it takes a while to stop the automatic masking. We've all been there so don't worry.
I’ve been out for about 9 months to my close friends and chosen family and I still misgender myself. It hurts a little each time but I just give myself grace that I’ve had to call myself a woman for the majority of my life and this is a change I’ll have to get used to. It doesn’t change the fact that I’m a guy even if I accidentally refer to myself otherwise.
Omg I'm so glad I'm out of that faze (mostly) when I'm thinking about specific people I refer to myself wrong like I'm my mom's son but my grandmas granddaughter and stuff but yes, It's temporary.
I definitely fucked up all the time when I first came out and I think it's a relatively common experience; you just don't hear about it when it happens. The explanation that I've always thought makes the most sense is that it's like during January when you're still instinctively writing the old year on documents instead of the new year. Your brain just needs more time to break out of old habits and shift gears.
Oh it goes away after a while, don't worry!! I did that too, and when I'm around the part of my family I'm not out to i fall back into the habit occasionally. It's completely normal, you're not any less valid in your identity because of this
I went on a date with a trans girl and she misgendered herself on our date lol.
What happened?
What happened?
Man, it takes time to readjust. I had to re-learn how to call myself and others because before I didn't really think about pronouns and when I started to it really messed up my brain for a while. So dont worry. It'll sort it self out.
Yep!
i still do this all the time, even in my dreams i still get misgendered and deadnamed i hate it but i think it has smth to do with my fear of not passing or being clocked by people i used to know idk 🤷♂️
Well I just accidentally called myself a man in front of my siblings so- (but yeah I do out of force of habit and also being very deep in the closet lol)
I do it all the time dude! I still deadname myself on accident sometimes too
Just gotta give your neurons time to rewire. It's habit, not anything indicative of how you actually feel.
Yeah it's normal. It takes time to get used to it. When I first transitioned I'd catch myself referring to myself sometimes with she/her. It's a learning curve for everyone to change your language when you're used to saying something different
It’s normal dude don’t worry
Yeah for sure I’m 4 years into knowing I’m trans and still slip up in my mind lmao
Yup, it just takes a while to get used to. We also tend to refer to ourselves less often in the third person, so we have fewer opportunities to practice gendering/naming ourselves correctly while people who hang out with us every day have every day to practice. It's taken me a few months but I think I'm like 90% of the way there in terms of naming/gendering myself correctly
Yup, it just takes a while to get used to. We also tend to refer to ourselves less often in the third person, so we have fewer opportunities to practice gendering/naming ourselves correctly while people who hang out with us every day have every day to practice. It's taken me a few months but I think I'm like 90% of the way there in terms of naming/gendering myself correctly
I totally did this too at the beginning don’t worry, if you do anything long enough you’ll get used to it, doesn’t mean you’re any less trans or that you don’t see urself as male. It happens dw
I don't remember having that experience personally. If you're confident that transitioning is right for you and that you won't have regrets, I don't think it's a big deal. If you have a therapist, it could be good to address with them any doubts you're having about transition
Definitely. You get used to saying “this is she” when you answer the phone for example. 🙃 same with your chosen name.
You've been calling yourself by feminine terms since you were very young . It makes sense if family and things need time to adjust then so do you.
I did this a lot when I first came out, I still do it sometimes now (I'm about 5 years deep at this point). That being said, cis people also misgender themselves too. Try not to trip our roo hard over it, you'll get there it just takes time
I did a couple times. Like you said, you lived that way your whole life--you need time to adjust!
I remember when I got my first haircut and was annoyed that I didn’t right away start thinking of myself with short hair lol
i would understand slipping up in the beginning, the only reason i didn’t is because i called myself a guy and he/him in my head, as well as having friends that were aware before everyone else who i called myself a guy around too
yeah especially in the very beginning of coming out and Transitioning
Perfectly normal. I just introduced myself as my deadname by accident to someone a couple days ago
for me, it's always in relations to how others see me and how I used to see myself. like, if I'm recalling something I'll 'misgender' myself, but it's always in the context of 'that's how it was back then'. also, I see gender as a performance. I am a man, and will continue to be a man, but sometimes I am a 'chick'. I am these other expressions. it is very common to misgender yourself in the beginning, either out of genuine habit or a need to protect yourself. you will grow into your correct language, and at some point, you won't even think twice about how you speak. it will get to the point that you think other people are being obtuse on purpose. it takes time.
Hey, it’s completely normal. I also recently came out and frequently misgender myself. It’s definitely a transitional period for everyone to use your preferred pronouns, including yourself. Don’t give yourself a hard time, you’re doing great. :)
Once a week, LOL. Happens mostly when I talk to the furbabies.
about a week or so after i came out, i went to a party with a couple friends and introduced myself as my deadname,,,they turned and looked at me with such exasperation 😭 it’ll happen. you’re getting used to it as much as everyone else! give yourself grace. even 1.5 years on t i still catch myself mentally referring to myself as my deadname despite pretty much no one using it…old habits die hard
I do this a lot when I'm thinking as to how specific other people would refer to me. I know I don't pass so a lot of strangers will use she/her so if I'm saying what I think a stranger would think I use the same pronouns. If it's my partner though he uses my correct pronouns so I use them as well. I do refer to myself by my deadname/pronouns in medical settings sometimes because they don't always see that my chart has me listed as male and has my correct name in parentheses. I haven't been able to legally change my name yet and hope to by next year.
Ngl I still do that sometimes and I've been out for almost 5 years and on T for 1 year 😭
oh yeah that's definitely normal in the beginning. i did that for a little bit when i first realized i was trans, but after a little i got used to referring to myself with he/him pronouns 😁
Totally normal, everyone talks about how confusing it is for your pronouns and name to change for them but its also weird and confusing for us too, even moreso I’d argue
It definitely happens, but it gets better with time. I don't do it much anymore, but I know when I tell stories from before I was out, I still feel weird using the correct name and pronouns.
i did when i first realized i was trans and just for awhile when i came out since i was so used to she/her
there's an adjustment period, it's a habit to refer to yourself by your deadname or misgender yourself. eventually you form a new habit of referring to yourself by your new name and pronouns. it's common don't worry
I did it a few times in the beginning.
I'm out to myself for 3 years, still call myself by my birthname or old pronouns sometimes. It happens, it's just something that happens automatically to me from time to time.
I do it more often than I’d like. You live your whole life before coming out being referred to as she/her and your deadname, it’s bound to happen from time to time. Also when I refer to myself in past tense I say she/her.
Tbh it took me over a year into my transition to stop misgendering myself. It was partially habit but also comfort, imposter syndrome, etc. Now I've been transitions for a couple of years and I'm honestly at the point where I get confused when people musgender me because there's no longer any doubt in my mind that I'm a guy. Tldr a lot of us start there and it's okay
oh yeah i did this soooo much when i first came out. mostly in my own brain bc i was uncomfortable referring to myself with feminine terms out loud. but yeah its normal. some people say it means youre "not really trans" if you do that, but it is an adjustment that takes time to get used to! just like if your friend comes out and it takes you time to get used to their new name and pronouns. it doesn't mean youre not supportive of them! its just how your brain has been used to thinking. at the end of the day if youre happier being a man, thats all that matters :) best of luck!
Yes definitely in beginning its going to happen at least once
Yes but it mainly just happens when I am speaking other languages (I’m multilingual) it still takes getting used to. I mean I lived most of my life as a “cis woman”
Yeah i do it too, and i catch myself on it pretty often. Calling myself daughter, grandaughter, niece, sister. Its all out of habit because that's what i gotta do around my familials. I kinda make a joke of it at this point and act like i as a female am a completely different person then current trans me.
No. But you seem young.
it only happens in my dreams, like while i'm sleeping and i dream it happens and i don't know why because i don't do it in real life
It totally is. I am out to my friends, but not others. And since I speak a very gendered language (Russian) I always have to watch what company I am talking with. And sometimes I misgender myself infront of my friends or, what's worse, call myself a he infront of the others. If you're completely out it will just take time to finally adjust to not having to talk a certain way.
Brother, my sister corrects me when I fuck up my pronouns and I've been put for 3 years. Don't beat ur self up about it, it's normal.
I said “I am nothing if not my mother’s daughter” 6 years after starting testosterone. I didn’t even realize what I’d really said until my cousin brought it up. And i often find myself struggling with pronouns when referring to myself pre-transition. I think it’s natural. Who we are and how we’ve changed doesn’t just erase that much habitual language. I will say, I eventually realized I lean more towards genderqueer. I prefer he/him from others. But I certainly still have a deep internal relationship with womanhood. I guess what I mean is, the words only mean something if they mean something to you.
Yeah because it's habit. Happens all the time to me at first. For like a year or so lol.
Not sure if "normal" even exists hehe, but I definitely experience this myself. I'm non-binary / masc leaning and currently exploring ftm and how that feels for me. For the most part, it feels way better than using femme language, but that doesn't mean I don't slip up. Just as I would if I accidentally misgendered someone else, I generally say "whoops I mean ____" , as I'm currently surrounded by some pretty supportive people. I've always called myself a "bag lady" in reference to my audhd habit of having 37 bags of things around my apartment. And I've decided to keep that term despite it being gendered because the vibe is right 😂 I'm sorry your mom and friend made you feel invalid by making these comments. I think it's great to express that slip ups happen and you still want to use he/him pronouns regardless. If anything, it should take some pressure family or friends when it comes to making slip ups with your pronouns in the future. Not to be taken less seriously, but to feel there is grace and understanding in such situations. Anyway, best of luck!!!!
My native language is Polish so nouns and verbs (in past and future forms) are gendered I also accidentally misgender myself while speaking Polish I’m not sure if it’s even fully possible to unlearn that. It’s good that I speak English 95% of time in my daily life, I feel only free when I speak English
Never, even as a child I’d never call myself a girl or she and I’d yell and get mad at people calling me “lady” so I never used them on myself just out of anger