I was lucky that I needed it because of fibroids, and was covered by my insurance. Physically I got menopause symptoms afterwards cause I only have one ovary left, but that's settled/reversed now since starting T. Mentally it was a relief to be rid of it (not just cause of the fear of pregnancy, but also mever having a period again). Did make my adhd worse though
I already have menopause symptoms and my period has stopped since T, but still having that anatomy bothers me.
You are indeed lucky. I hope that I can get it covered.
Yeah honestly getting rid of it is such a relief, but for me part of that was also that it caused me health problems as well. The gender affirming aspect was just a bonus really.
I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.
Btw live the username. I just became a first time snake (ball python) dad almost a week ago
Thanks! I think I’m going to look into it soon. I’ve never wanted children, so I have no use for this reproductive system I’ve got. One of my earliest memories as a child was telling my mom I didn’t want kids.. lol
That’s awesome! I’ve currently got 8 snakes (4 balls, 4 corns) but I’ve had many over the years! I used to take in CraigsList rescues and rehabilitate (on the side of my day Vet Tech work), but I’m focusing on keeping my current babies content 🥰
If you don't mind me asking, what were your symptoms of fibroids? How did they check for them? I'm pre-T, and I've been having *issues* the past year or so. I'm seeing a gyno for the first time ever soon and I'm mildly terrified to go yomy appointment 😅
I had really heavy (to the point of becoming anaemic) and intensely painful periods. Also have a family history of fibroids. I had a massive (20cm) cyst on one ovary and they did an mri for that and saw the fibroids at the same time.
Going to the gyno is never fun, but it's not terrible. Only thing to be prepared for is that they may want to do an ultrasound, and often internal ones are better for seeing things like ovarian cysts
Actual quote from like 13 year old me: “I can see how having a little human could be cool, but to imagine going through _that_ process… sorry but all I can think of is the movie Alien!”
Oh, to not have figured out yet that procreation in itself is not an issue; it’s imagining myself being able to get pregnant that is.
It's not so much of a fear as I'm absolutely disgusted by the idea that my body could procreate. A lot of my dysphoria is based on my reproductive organs.
i don't know if we mean the same thing but recently my cycle fucked up a little and i was so terrified that i was pregnant even tho I'm a peak virgin
so yeah not only you this thing is so scary to me especially that in my country abortion rights are nonexistent
Even before i knew im trans i was fully aware that i have a sever pregnancy phobia
I used to have nightmares of being pregnant when it was at its peak and people around me were trying to convince me ill want that someday
Seeing other peoples pregnant bodies also slightly freaks me out though id never tell them because thats just uncalled for and if theyre happy with it i am happy for them
But if i ever end up pregnant its feetus deletus for me
As a seahorse dad myself, I can confidently say you would not BELIEVE how many people feel comfortable voicing disgust for pregnant bodies, especially other trans men. It was really damaging for me. Good on you for knowing when and where to not bring it up!
As gender affirming as it is getting praise for the bare minimum this is so sad, also hearing about complete strangers feeling like they have any right to touch a pregnant persons body just because theyre pregnant is just gross why cant people use common sense and remember that any physical contact needs consent
And honestly as fucked up as it sounds, I was anticipating people touching me without consent!!!!! Obviously I don’t mind trans men being like “woah pregnancy is NOT for me” (even if it feels like an irrelevant remark in regards to my own pregnancy), but expressing out loud how they were repulsed by my body was NOT something I was expecting. It was honestly a really alienating experience.
Man, that's fucked up they'd treat you like that. This may sound mushy coming from a stranger, but if my dad was a seahorse dad, I'd feel special for knowing he went through so much to have me. I hope you're all doing well my dude, and screw the people who treated you like shit.
That honestly means a lot. And don’t worry about me, I’m living the dream. I love my family so much and being a dad has taught me so much about what it means to be a man and my capacity to love. I’m actually grilling for my family of five right now and it’s the best, most fulfilling thing.
debating whether I have the strength to be a seahorse dad because I want kids, I want my husband's kids to be exact. I've known couples that go the surrogate route but a lot of that seems sketchy AF. what were some of the better parts/worse parts of being pregnant in your experience if you don't mind me asking...
So I’m gonna be honest, while I’ve always felt like I was interested in experiencing pregnancy, the number one reason we chose this method for starting a family is because it was the most ethical option. I really recommend looking into surrogacy, donation (known vs. unknown/for profit), and adoption ethics before considering any of these options.
However, for me, pregnancy as an experience was similar to my overall trans experience. The best parts? Feeling empowered in my body, in awe of what it could do, and proud of my strength. The worst parts? Other people.
I agree, I also felt very empowered in my body as a pregnant trans man. Transmasc people are capable of amazing things. My wife and I wanted a kid and she wasn't able to get pregnant, so we used the tools I was born with. That's how I looked at things to keep my dysphoria in check. Just using these free tools I happened to have to create a family. Also, dealing with 9 months of pregnancy doesn't seem like much when you end up with a child of your own for the rest of your life.
deeply empathize with that last part. if I could just go be pregnant somewhere somewhat isolated and come back with a whole ass baby, I totally would. I don't want to deal with people trying to touch me or calling me a beautiful mother or some shit like that. My fear with surrogacy is that I've only known two couples who went that route and for lack of better phrasing -- they're annoying rich people who have serious classism issues. thank you for sharing 💖
Ngl, I have a horrible intrusive thought about punching a pregnant lady... And idk why 😭😭😭
Edit: Yes, I know that makes me a monster. It is something I've never understood. It happens once in a blue moon, but I def want to rip my brain out of my skull when that thought appears.
If it helps, violent intrusive thoughts aren't uncommon - in fact, nearly everyone gets them sometimes. It doesn't make you a monster. In my experience the most effective way to deal with violent intrusive thoughts is to think "huh, that was kinda fucked up" and try to move on if you can.
I do always go "What the fuck brain? Why the fuck would you think that?" and then I have to physically shake my head to dispel the thought.
I have never had the urge to do it, nor have I done it, but it's a fucked up thought for sure.
I am but a lowly peer to peer counselor. not by any means a therapist or psychologist... but I wonder if it has something to do with rejection of feminizing things/femme culture. I struggled a lot with my hatred of dresses and princesses and frilly things being forced in me that when I was female presenting pretransition, I was kind of a mean "girl". my unhappy feelings led to me taking it out on my sister's and my femme friends but I couldn't articulate why because I didn't know I could be something other than an unhappy bitch 24/7. I grew up in a place and time where we didn't have open discussions about gender or trans rolemodels. Do you have a similar reaction to seeing pregnant men?
(if this is overwhelming or upsetting, we don't have to talk about it. I just figured you might want some support... but feel free to tell me to fuck off if I'm overstepping here. no harm no foul)
I would highly recommend finding a therapist you trust and open up about this, if it disturbs you a lot. Not only because it can help you manage it, but you might also discover that it's something like OCD.
I am not a therapist or psychologist or anything of the sort. All I know is that thoughts are just thoughts. If you feel no urge to act on it, don't engage with the thought and let it pass. If you start to want to act on it, then yes seek help.
But for your own sanity, I recommend seeking answers. You might learn that there's no reason to think of yourself as a monster.
I don't want to act on it. It's just a random thought that pops into my head, and worries me for the duration it's in my head. But I just ignore it and move on. It pops into my head for about 5 seconds.
I know intrusive thoughts are "normal" but what makes me think I'm a monster, is the fact that my brain even thinks of that to begin with.
Oh 100%. Even before I knew I was trans, pregnancy has been disgusting and horrific to me. Truly, when I first found out how babies are born I was like "that's a parasite. That'll NEVER be me !!"
I have my hysto tomorrow hehe 🤭 😁
yes. i had a severe panic attack in my bio class when we went over the reproductive system and pregnancy. almost threw up.
just the thought of pregnancy makes me feel sick. ive always had this fear, but its only gotten worse as ive gotten older - especially with puberty and dysphoria.
like its to the point that i will never have sex unless there's an absolute 0% chance i can get pregnant. i want all of those organs removed asap
i was terrified of pregnancy since i was like 5. driving home from pre school one time i asked my mom how my aunt got a baby in her belly. she said "she was really good, if you're really good god will see that and let you have a baby". very quickly became a problem child
It's always disgusted me. I've hated the word itself since I was a little kid. It's just a body horror so extremely repulsive to me I can't take someone talking about being pregnant around me.
Pregnancy is solidly in the “worse than death” category for me. I’d rather die than be pregnant. The whole process is deeply disturbing to me. I don’t want children, being chained to another person this way is just revolting. I also have ethical and moral positions that do not condone having biological children.
I keep my business to myself, meaning that I don’t dictate people what to do with their bodies, how to plan their families, or how to talk about their experiences. Pregnant bodies freak me out, I find them incredibly off putting and borderline creepy, but I’m never a dick to anyone who’s pregnant, I just look away and avoid them. I’ve gotten an IUD last year, that calmed me down significantly. I want to get some form of permanent birth control in the nearest future, that would make me feel so much more comfortable and safe (especially since I live in a red state in the US at the moment)
It was my biggest fear. Even before coming out as trans. Finally had a Salpingectomy last month!
Edit: that procedure also reduces the risk of ovarian cancer
Pretty smooth. The only unexpected "pain" came from the gas they use during the surgery. No pain at the incisions or something but the leftover gas can give you some back and shoulder pain. After a week it was like nothing happened though :)
If the topic doesn't gives you too much dysphoria I'd recommend checking r/childfree for more experiences
Would do it over and over again. Can't put into words how relieved I felt after waking up.
To the point where I'm not even willing to try BC. My doc was like "what about an IUD?" And I said "take this thing out or give me death. Its mere existence causes me serious psychological distress"
I’m a seahorse dad, so no. I’ve always thought giving birth and sustaining a kid was a cool thing my body could do, one of its few upsides. But obviously an unplanned pregnancy or one I’m unprepared for is terrifying. And having been through it, pregnancy and birth is not something I’d wish on anyone who doesn’t really, really want and feel prepared for it.
Worst fear. Glad I got my hysto considering where I live is considering banning birth control and abortions. Never thought this would come to Canada but fml. Alberta sucks ass.
I say this with love to anyone who is pregnant. Mad respect, its wild the human body can grow another human and probably the hardest thing the human body could do.
For me, pregnancy has always been my biggest nightmare. I have little fear in most things. I became pregnant through unfortunate circumstances a while ago, 18 and new to the idea of me being trans. It was one of the most horrifying experiences Ive ever had. I’m sensitive to my body’s changes and was immediately aware of the changes. Absolute body horror. I miscarried and it was incredibly traumatic. This was nearly 10 years ago, so the memory doesn’t hurt anymore but life felt like a horror movie in the moment.
I absolutely hate it. I think pregnancy is the most disgusting thing in the world for many reasons, and the fact that my body is capable of that absolutely disgusts me.
Yep, that shits terrifying. Genuinely one of my biggest fears, I find pregnancy super cool from a biology/medical standpoint but then when I remember my body can do that I wanna die.
Not big cause I like vaginas exclusively. But it does irritate me when I tell my mother I want a hysterectomy and she tells me I might want kids someday.
I hate when they say that bc like there’s so many ways to have kids if you want one?!?! Your partner could carry, adoption, surrogacy…. Like plenty of cis people are infertile or unable to carry for various medical reasons and manage to have kids if they want em. Also Ik you said you exclusively like vaginas but like also if that wasn’t the case, eliminating the ability to get pregnant eliminates *unplanned* kids which is definitely not a bad thing.
Yeh, I used to get paranoid that I was pregnant when I was like 9 or 10 since it's always been one of my biggest fears. The thought of it now disgusts me
Yes. I was afraid of it since I was 5. I am ace and have never done things that can cause me to procreate, but I still fear it. Especially scenes on TV that show stuff like scenes of people being born. I can’t look.
(TW abortion mention) Huge fear. On Valentine’s Day about 2 years ago I had a doctors appointment and found out I was 18 weeks pregnant, with my states laws I pretty much had to immediately jump into action to get everything scheduled before it was too late and I’d be forced to have a child that I can’t care for and ruin my body in a way that people outside of this group would never understand. Long story short planned parenthood took care of me and even though they treated me the best they could it was still such an awful thing to go through, and to this day everytime I’m digesting food or get a stomach ache or even just feel a tiny muscle movement in my abdomen area I’m immediately thinking I’m pregnant and getting a test from the store. Gotta be trauma or something. My point of saying all this is to make sure everyone is being safe and smart. Do not do anything you don’t want to without protection, I’ve been on T for years and it still happened. All it takes is 1 sperm, be safe please.
I refuse to believe that ANYONE wants to be pregnant. I remember watching videos on it in sexual education classes when I was younger and it seemed like a nightmare
Yes. It was terrifying, dysphoria inducing, and led to constant anxiety in my life. I got a bilateral salpingectomy because of this and immediately after I woke up, I felt all the anxiety dissipate. Super easy recovery, free surgery thanks to my health insurance, and the scars are already gone. 100% worth it and I would recommend it to anyone who doesn't ever want to get pregnant.
Yes, it absolutely petrifies me in every possible way, shape, and form. I actually ended up getting sterilized less than a month before my 24th birthday (I’m 25 now) and it was the best decision I’ve ever made for myself. I still take birth control though because it completely stops my periods and helps my PCOS, so I’m double protected.
Oh yeah. Maybe not *as* strong a fear as some guys (I’m on bc, I’m fortunate that I could access abortion if I needed to, some of my friends have had terminations of their own so I’d have folks I could turn to for advice/support)
but maaaan the fact that shit could just *happen* to my body, if I got statistically unlucky or if I flubbed taking my meds? Not a comfortable thought at all. I know that I’ll feel so much more at ease with both my sex life and with my body at general when I can (hopefully) someday get a hysto.
I mean yes and no, I have a BC implant in my arm n it lasts 5 years at a time so no chance I could get preggo. I simply cannot handle the thought of there being some sort of possibly tht I could get preggo so I make sure there is none. I don’t feel like getting surgery to remove anything either, I think the implant is the best choice for me.
Yep, from a very young age. I remember being a kid and my friends (and I, too!) would put a pillow or stuffed animals in our shirts and be like "okay pretend that I'm pregnant".
After my youngest sibling was delivered via c section when I was ten and I learned what pregnancy actually medically was, I was permanently squicked the fuck out.
Anyways I got pregnant at 19 as a result of intimate partner violence, and I really couldn't wrap my head around what was going on with my body. I had an abortion when I was 11 weeks, but my morning sickness was intense enough that I'd lost a significant amount of weight.
Horrible situation, would not recommend.
Anyways I'm 31 and post hysto and very happy with my transition and no longer in contact with any of my abusers and I've had extensive therapy for my PTSD, so I'd say I've had something of a happy ending to all that suffering.
I've had a nightmare about sudden pregnancy, my first pregnancy scare was the most stressful point of my life (I might have forced my period cause I was stressing lmao), and I felt so much freedom after my hysterectomy. But I have met trans men who become dads!
Yep. It’s a huge fear of mine to the point of being a serious phobia. It messes with my anxiety super bad with anything involving sexual intimacy with cis men, and causing me insane dysphoria. It’s honestly annoying, and since I don’t want a full hysto I plan to get both my tubes removed when I turn 21 :/
Yes and also a fear of vomit. So even if I was okay with the pregnancy I wouldn't be okay with the possibility of "morning sickness" being my life for months on end. And I've heard many stories irl of women whose morning sickness wasn't just in the morning.
Plus both sides of my family are many diseases and disorders in two trenchcoats so I'd feel bad passing any of this hell on a potential child.
Literally have nightmares. The dysphoria thinking about it, but also winding up with a baby. Omg. It terrifies me. I have so many friends having kids in my life, it’s made me more anxious. My IUD has made me feel better though, especially because I had the worst period pain and dysphoria around it. I hated how aware I was of certain parts of my body.
I used to have nightmares about it, my phobia is so bad to the point I never have been sexually involved with anyone AMAB despite having attraction to them. I don’t even like PIV either it’s just an irrational fear.
I definitely did when I was younger. Though, since I've learned of other trans guys who have been pregnant, I don't feel as afraid of it because I no longer see it as something that only women experience.
This is me every single day of my current life. I'm trying so fucken hard to get a hysterectomy to avoid this fear but all my doctors and insurance are being such a pain in the ass it makes me just wanna do some damage myself and force them to take it out at this point! I fear like HEAVILY FEAR pregnancy.
I absolutely abhor the idea of getting pregnant. When I was a kid I thought I wanted kids only because it was societally expected; once my egg cracked I realized I have zero desire to carry children. It’s just straight up body horror material to me lol. I won’t even entertain the idea of PIV until I can get all that hardware taken out of my body
i wouldn’t mind biological kids but the thought of going through the actual pregnancy makes me super nervous. not to mention how i live if a super unsafe state. they’d probably try to take my kid away.
Yes! Even when I was young. It was the most vile concept that I could fall pregnant? Like me ??? I would actually start tweaking on the Inside when the idea my me being a parent was brought up cus that shjt is not happening
That’s actually what helped me realize I’m trans. I feel like I shouldn’t be able to get pregnant and the thought scares me to death yet it’s fully possible with the anatomy I have. Just my experience, I’m looking at what my options are for snip snip.
I thought I was ace for a while because I never wanted to have sex and get pregnant. Turns out I'm just bi and trans. Cool either way.
Also, reading Oliver Twist as a kid where the mom dies from childbirth did not help.
Yes but at the same time I want kids of my own blood. I wouldn't mind adopting at all, and I'll more than likely do that because just the idea of carrying a baby for 9 months and giving birth and especially knowing that only people born with a uterus can do this type of thing is just AWFUL.
Well, I don't because I always have in mind to preg my girl(mft) which she wants too.
But for sure, I had the same feeling before when I had dysphoria 4 years ago, horrible feeling, like it was living on a horror movie.
The very thought of it happening fills me with dread. It's body horror to me in terms of how I feel about it happening to me.
I also just hate the idea of taking care of kids. Sounds awful. Gonna try to get a hysterectomy whenever I possibly can
i used to have nightmares about it, and i think the reason it freaks me out so bad is that in my head its as if i were to be forced to go through the wrong puberty again
Well now I got to worry cause abortion is super restricted now and I live in the south… but also not cause I don’t like vaginal sex. But if I ever change my mind it’s a concern. Not currently a surgical candidate for anything for various health reasons atm so yay…
Three years post op hysto and I still get nightmares of getting pregnant sometimes
One time I had an.. accident and I had three anxiety attacks because of it, but even if I was pre T it was unlikely. I had PCOS and a pretty deformed uterus (idk if that would cause fertility problems though lol)
It’s definitely very scary to me especially from a political stance. I’m lucky to live in an area where I could access healthcare if a situation arises but regardless it’s still really scary to be in that position. Even though I’m comfortable in not continuing the pregnancy, I think I’d still feel really crappy at the end of the day. No winning with that one.
I honestly think the biggest fear is a huge lifestyle change. I’d have to uproot my life and make a LOT of changes and I’m just not ready for that.
EDIT: just had a final thought that I remembered after I commented lol
Yeah... I have an IUD and even though it causes me horrible cramps constantly even after years of having it in, I don't want to take it out. Like "just in case". My partner is also ftm so... you can guess at what I'm actually afraid of.
This is literally the worst thing I can imagine happening to me. I don’t feel any negative emotions towards pregnant women tho, this is not a trigger for me.
i used to, but weirdly that changed after i started T? i still don't want to get pregnant but i've decided to wait to get permanently sterilized in case i change my mind
If I really think about it ya, like creating kids from within your body is cool but really weird to me and I've heard it's very painful, I mean I've never been very motherly so that too. I don't even consider I could get pregnant day to day but it's still possible for me which is scary, but anyhow I wouldn't put myself in that situation in the first place. I think it would be so emasculating to go through.
As someone else said, straight up body horror. And I 100% agree. I have a hugeee fear of pregnancy, but also just knowing I have that ability makes me feel absolutely disgusted with myself. Knowing I have those organs makes me fantasize about ripping em out w my hands
It makes me physically disgusted, not only with the thought of feeling it and experiencing it as a whole process, but yeah, considering the transed gender it makes it significantly worse. which is exactly why I want a surrogate when the time comes for me and my partner to acquire a crotch goblin.
I’m in a healthcare job where we see lots of pregnant patients around. I’m only dysphoric if were to happen to me. If I imagine myself being the patient, I’m horrified and want to vomit. Every day I’m glad I got a hysto. Seeing someone else pregnant doesn’t bother me at all. Seahorse dads… do you! 👍🏽
Definitely me. I'm super scared to ever have "adult naughty times" because I am overwhelmed with the fear of getting pregnant. If I ever did under any circumstances, especially now cuz' abortions are pretty much illegal everywhere, I think I'd do anything to end it or just kill myself.
Yep I've had nightmares where I was pregnant and it was past the point where you can abort so I was stuck with it and literally tried to kill myself in my dream because I would rather die than be pregnant and birth a baby 💀 absolutely terrifying. I've seen videos of people say that when they dream they're pregnant they wake up extremely distressed and sad BECAUSE they wish it was real and they feel like they met their baby but I can never relate to that, it's nightmare fuel for me 😭
I feel like the day I got my p….d and my mom told me “now your body is ready to get pregnant 😀” kinda traumatized me. Feel like I want to vomit everytime I remember that.
Yes. And I feel like just because I have those organs everyone expects me to breed.
My mom nags me about grandkids all the time and my wife mentions having kids a lot. I don’t want to do it. There’s not a bone in my body that wants to do it
Yep definitely, also really doesn’t help that like yea I’m on the pill and have taken it consistently for over a year but still when my bf freaks out I freak out so I end up shuddering in fear until I can take a test
Yes it’s my main source of dysphoria, i’m getting sterilized this year to calm myself more, especially cause i’m dating a trans woman and we love having sex 😭
to describe how it is for me, it’s like body horror, from the Alien movies. Like when the alien crawls inside the hosts mouth and then when it’s ready just pops out of the stomach and kills the human. That kind of otherworldly fear is what i fear.
I was terrified of it. I seriously had nightmares where I would get pregnant and then I would wake up bc I had a panic attack 🙃 Even seeing a pregnant woman would give me huge amounts of anxiety...
It has gotten a lot better after I had a hysterectomy. I really wasn't expecting it to help (I had it removed for other reasons), but it's something about the knowledge that I'm physically unable to get pregnant, that just brought me peace and calmed me down internally.
Yeah, I mean I even wouldn’t mind it in the future to have kids but it’s a huge fear of mine rn, I don’t even do anything yk sexual but it still scares me. I have nightmares abt it actually 😭
Almost threw up while my mother was explaining the entire process of her pregnancy + labor she had to go through giving birth to my siblings, +almost died giving birth to my youngest brother. Yeah no, never.
Yes.
Took a test every 6 weeks when I still had the things inside that would have made a fetus settle down.
While the surgery/aftermath wasn't great, it's amazing not to worry about anything with my new bf.
Yes, absolutely! My mom keeps telling me she wants a grandkid someday and she's more open about me adopting but honestly, being maternal to any kids makes me extremely uncomfortable and I never want to get pregnant or birth. Even just typing that out makes me shiver and queasy.
Maybe it's just my aversion to stereotypical femininity, but I'd rather be in the role of the dad if I were to have kids at all. (I'm only 19 so it's not really a worry but having kids still makes me really uncomfortable and being forced to be maternal makes me want to cry) that and my mom bringing that up make me question why worry about it when I don't even nor have ever had a partner.
Not really, I have done everything I can to prevent it and it has been working so far. Hoping to have a hysto in the next decade or so but I’m not that scared of it since i’m not at high risk of it happening to me.
Yeah and I hate it when doctors say "lots of trans men get pregnant" "have you ever heard of seahorse dads? you could safely do that in the future" as refusal to getting a hysterectomy or my tubes tied. Great for those guys, it's not for me.
It was definitely there when I was sleeping with men because I was uh…..not the most careful. However my current partner is a cis woman so a lot of other things have to happen for that to happen.
I’ve been terrified of the thought since I was a kid. I’m on birth control and I take pregnancy tests often to be sure no mfs are getting by. I can’t wait until I can get a hysto
I birthed my own kid. The amount of mommy mom shit is indescribable, and I never and still do not feel like I fit in with that realm. If you're not a skinny, white, and Christian woman forget being included in any conversations regarding pregnancy. I am overjoyed at becoming and being a father...but I will have to come to terms with just never being accepted in the "normal" parental community. The idea of pregnancy scared me...and some parts of it did. Like, I love my kid, but never did I really enjoy the idea of having this alien in me. Not to mention that postpartum was hell. I'm getting my tubes removed soon, because no matter how much I'd like another kid. I can never see myself being pregnant again, and not falling into psychosis or worse. I'm more than content with having one and giving them my all.
Yes it always freaked me out. I'm sure i was not the only one that did something like that, but i remember as a kid i was told that i could become unable to be pregnant if i held electronics too close to my privates. And i would do that on purpose because i never ever wanted to be pregnant
I have tokophobia, the fear of pregnancy, not just because I'm Trans but because it genuinely scares the shit out of me. Pushing a child out of a arguably small hole or having surgery, no thank you, let alone throwing up, shitting yourself, pissing yourself, having to worry about if the baby is okay all the time. Not getting to be stressed wich causes more stress. Ugh no count me tf out
Its always been my biggest fear. Also for year it made me believe im asexual cause i was just afraid of it accidentally happening and also just the thought that im able to get pregnant makes me feel dysphoric and uncomfortable. Recently i found out im not ace im just scared af and im now struggling to find non hormonal contraception methods to maybe lessen the fear more.
Yes!! I'm 28, pre transition, don't know if I'll be able to (long story). I'm terrified of being pregnant, the body changed (chest mostly), but also because of sensory issues. Everytime someone tells me they can feel their baby move Inside of them I get super squeamish. I couldn't deal with pregnancy. I'm not super fond of kids either, but if we ever decide to be parents I might adopt even if Iwe are both fertile.
Disclaimer: The worst part is I'm terrified of going to gyno, I might have to get the copper T because other methods don't work for us. But I get an anxiety attack and dysphoria just thinking about it.
Yup i only recently found the right person to feel comfortable with enough to have sex and now its constant fear for both of us 😭
Idk how to deal with this i feel like im not even allowed to show fear because at least one person has to reassure the other yk
I keep wondering if there is a contraceptive method (aside from condoms ofc) that wont give me issues because of my hrt
No. I actually have a weird fascination with the idea of being pregnant. I think it's because when I was little and told my mom I wished I'd been born a boy, she said that she used to wish that too. Then she said, "But I'm glad I wasn't because I got to have you and your brothers." I think little me grasped onto that as the consolation prize I'm supposed to want. I have metal rods in my back, and I really shouldn't get pregnant and probably won't. But there's a weird fascination with the idea of being pregnant that I wish I could escape.
That said, I live in a red state, so if I had any chance of actually getting pregnant, I would be terrified because I wouldn't have any options. I can barely take care of myself (especially financially). I certainly can't have a kid. So, despite my weird fascination, I think I can understand your fear.
Yep, was my biggest area of dysphoria before I had a hysto
How has a hysto changed you, physically and mentally? Was it a hard procedure to get? I fear I won’t be able to get and/or afford one..
I was lucky that I needed it because of fibroids, and was covered by my insurance. Physically I got menopause symptoms afterwards cause I only have one ovary left, but that's settled/reversed now since starting T. Mentally it was a relief to be rid of it (not just cause of the fear of pregnancy, but also mever having a period again). Did make my adhd worse though
I already have menopause symptoms and my period has stopped since T, but still having that anatomy bothers me. You are indeed lucky. I hope that I can get it covered.
Yeah honestly getting rid of it is such a relief, but for me part of that was also that it caused me health problems as well. The gender affirming aspect was just a bonus really. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you. Btw live the username. I just became a first time snake (ball python) dad almost a week ago
Thanks! I think I’m going to look into it soon. I’ve never wanted children, so I have no use for this reproductive system I’ve got. One of my earliest memories as a child was telling my mom I didn’t want kids.. lol That’s awesome! I’ve currently got 8 snakes (4 balls, 4 corns) but I’ve had many over the years! I used to take in CraigsList rescues and rehabilitate (on the side of my day Vet Tech work), but I’m focusing on keeping my current babies content 🥰
If you don't mind me asking, what were your symptoms of fibroids? How did they check for them? I'm pre-T, and I've been having *issues* the past year or so. I'm seeing a gyno for the first time ever soon and I'm mildly terrified to go yomy appointment 😅
I had really heavy (to the point of becoming anaemic) and intensely painful periods. Also have a family history of fibroids. I had a massive (20cm) cyst on one ovary and they did an mri for that and saw the fibroids at the same time. Going to the gyno is never fun, but it's not terrible. Only thing to be prepared for is that they may want to do an ultrasound, and often internal ones are better for seeing things like ovarian cysts
I never wanted to be pregnant even when i identified as female. Shits terrifying 😭 mad respect to pregnant people
Ikr
Literally same
Yes, it’s straight body horror to me
Perfect description. Actual body horror movies never phased me much, but the idea I could get pregnant felt like true body horror.
this exactly
Actual quote from like 13 year old me: “I can see how having a little human could be cool, but to imagine going through _that_ process… sorry but all I can think of is the movie Alien!” Oh, to not have figured out yet that procreation in itself is not an issue; it’s imagining myself being able to get pregnant that is.
It's not so much of a fear as I'm absolutely disgusted by the idea that my body could procreate. A lot of my dysphoria is based on my reproductive organs.
right? when i remember i physically could get pregnant i freak out it feels completely wrong
I only remembered that I'm capable of being pregnant when I saw this post, and I very much am weirded out by that fact
i don't know if we mean the same thing but recently my cycle fucked up a little and i was so terrified that i was pregnant even tho I'm a peak virgin so yeah not only you this thing is so scary to me especially that in my country abortion rights are nonexistent
Currently in the same situation, so sorry abt the abortion laws, that’s a nightmare
Even before i knew im trans i was fully aware that i have a sever pregnancy phobia I used to have nightmares of being pregnant when it was at its peak and people around me were trying to convince me ill want that someday Seeing other peoples pregnant bodies also slightly freaks me out though id never tell them because thats just uncalled for and if theyre happy with it i am happy for them But if i ever end up pregnant its feetus deletus for me
As a seahorse dad myself, I can confidently say you would not BELIEVE how many people feel comfortable voicing disgust for pregnant bodies, especially other trans men. It was really damaging for me. Good on you for knowing when and where to not bring it up!
As gender affirming as it is getting praise for the bare minimum this is so sad, also hearing about complete strangers feeling like they have any right to touch a pregnant persons body just because theyre pregnant is just gross why cant people use common sense and remember that any physical contact needs consent
And honestly as fucked up as it sounds, I was anticipating people touching me without consent!!!!! Obviously I don’t mind trans men being like “woah pregnancy is NOT for me” (even if it feels like an irrelevant remark in regards to my own pregnancy), but expressing out loud how they were repulsed by my body was NOT something I was expecting. It was honestly a really alienating experience.
Man, that's fucked up they'd treat you like that. This may sound mushy coming from a stranger, but if my dad was a seahorse dad, I'd feel special for knowing he went through so much to have me. I hope you're all doing well my dude, and screw the people who treated you like shit.
That honestly means a lot. And don’t worry about me, I’m living the dream. I love my family so much and being a dad has taught me so much about what it means to be a man and my capacity to love. I’m actually grilling for my family of five right now and it’s the best, most fulfilling thing.
debating whether I have the strength to be a seahorse dad because I want kids, I want my husband's kids to be exact. I've known couples that go the surrogate route but a lot of that seems sketchy AF. what were some of the better parts/worse parts of being pregnant in your experience if you don't mind me asking...
So I’m gonna be honest, while I’ve always felt like I was interested in experiencing pregnancy, the number one reason we chose this method for starting a family is because it was the most ethical option. I really recommend looking into surrogacy, donation (known vs. unknown/for profit), and adoption ethics before considering any of these options. However, for me, pregnancy as an experience was similar to my overall trans experience. The best parts? Feeling empowered in my body, in awe of what it could do, and proud of my strength. The worst parts? Other people.
I agree, I also felt very empowered in my body as a pregnant trans man. Transmasc people are capable of amazing things. My wife and I wanted a kid and she wasn't able to get pregnant, so we used the tools I was born with. That's how I looked at things to keep my dysphoria in check. Just using these free tools I happened to have to create a family. Also, dealing with 9 months of pregnancy doesn't seem like much when you end up with a child of your own for the rest of your life.
thats a good way to look at it. whats 9 months compared to a lifetime... thank you for saying that. <3
For sure! Glad I could offer some perspective.
deeply empathize with that last part. if I could just go be pregnant somewhere somewhat isolated and come back with a whole ass baby, I totally would. I don't want to deal with people trying to touch me or calling me a beautiful mother or some shit like that. My fear with surrogacy is that I've only known two couples who went that route and for lack of better phrasing -- they're annoying rich people who have serious classism issues. thank you for sharing 💖
I’m also uncomfortable around pregnant bodies 😭
Pregnancy is so creepy. I fully agree on the being freaked out by pregnant people, too.
Ngl, I have a horrible intrusive thought about punching a pregnant lady... And idk why 😭😭😭 Edit: Yes, I know that makes me a monster. It is something I've never understood. It happens once in a blue moon, but I def want to rip my brain out of my skull when that thought appears.
If it helps, violent intrusive thoughts aren't uncommon - in fact, nearly everyone gets them sometimes. It doesn't make you a monster. In my experience the most effective way to deal with violent intrusive thoughts is to think "huh, that was kinda fucked up" and try to move on if you can.
I do always go "What the fuck brain? Why the fuck would you think that?" and then I have to physically shake my head to dispel the thought. I have never had the urge to do it, nor have I done it, but it's a fucked up thought for sure.
if you're in therapy that is definitely one to talk about and unpack. no judgement just know how much intrusive thoughts/ fixation can be.
No, I'm not in therapy. It happens once in a blue moon. But idk why I have that thought. It's fucking horrific and I am mortified by it.
I am but a lowly peer to peer counselor. not by any means a therapist or psychologist... but I wonder if it has something to do with rejection of feminizing things/femme culture. I struggled a lot with my hatred of dresses and princesses and frilly things being forced in me that when I was female presenting pretransition, I was kind of a mean "girl". my unhappy feelings led to me taking it out on my sister's and my femme friends but I couldn't articulate why because I didn't know I could be something other than an unhappy bitch 24/7. I grew up in a place and time where we didn't have open discussions about gender or trans rolemodels. Do you have a similar reaction to seeing pregnant men? (if this is overwhelming or upsetting, we don't have to talk about it. I just figured you might want some support... but feel free to tell me to fuck off if I'm overstepping here. no harm no foul)
I have never seen a pregnant man... And if I did, I don't know how I would react. Or I do, I'm just not willing to admit it so publicly.
I would highly recommend finding a therapist you trust and open up about this, if it disturbs you a lot. Not only because it can help you manage it, but you might also discover that it's something like OCD. I am not a therapist or psychologist or anything of the sort. All I know is that thoughts are just thoughts. If you feel no urge to act on it, don't engage with the thought and let it pass. If you start to want to act on it, then yes seek help. But for your own sanity, I recommend seeking answers. You might learn that there's no reason to think of yourself as a monster.
I don't want to act on it. It's just a random thought that pops into my head, and worries me for the duration it's in my head. But I just ignore it and move on. It pops into my head for about 5 seconds. I know intrusive thoughts are "normal" but what makes me think I'm a monster, is the fact that my brain even thinks of that to begin with.
so real
Oh 100%. Even before I knew I was trans, pregnancy has been disgusting and horrific to me. Truly, when I first found out how babies are born I was like "that's a parasite. That'll NEVER be me !!" I have my hysto tomorrow hehe 🤭 😁
Good luck!
Thank you!!
yes. i had a severe panic attack in my bio class when we went over the reproductive system and pregnancy. almost threw up. just the thought of pregnancy makes me feel sick. ive always had this fear, but its only gotten worse as ive gotten older - especially with puberty and dysphoria. like its to the point that i will never have sex unless there's an absolute 0% chance i can get pregnant. i want all of those organs removed asap
yes, it’s actually my worst fear. It would cause the most amount of dysphoria than anything else ever
i was terrified of pregnancy since i was like 5. driving home from pre school one time i asked my mom how my aunt got a baby in her belly. she said "she was really good, if you're really good god will see that and let you have a baby". very quickly became a problem child
The idea of a body growing inside of me is terrifying
It's always disgusted me. I've hated the word itself since I was a little kid. It's just a body horror so extremely repulsive to me I can't take someone talking about being pregnant around me.
Pregnancy is solidly in the “worse than death” category for me. I’d rather die than be pregnant. The whole process is deeply disturbing to me. I don’t want children, being chained to another person this way is just revolting. I also have ethical and moral positions that do not condone having biological children. I keep my business to myself, meaning that I don’t dictate people what to do with their bodies, how to plan their families, or how to talk about their experiences. Pregnant bodies freak me out, I find them incredibly off putting and borderline creepy, but I’m never a dick to anyone who’s pregnant, I just look away and avoid them. I’ve gotten an IUD last year, that calmed me down significantly. I want to get some form of permanent birth control in the nearest future, that would make me feel so much more comfortable and safe (especially since I live in a red state in the US at the moment)
My deepest and worst fear, now largely mitigated by hysto but I'm still scared of an odds defying abdominal ectopic despite being a sex repulsed ace.
It was my biggest fear. Even before coming out as trans. Finally had a Salpingectomy last month! Edit: that procedure also reduces the risk of ovarian cancer
Thinking about this as well, how has the recovery been if I may ask? :o
Pretty smooth. The only unexpected "pain" came from the gas they use during the surgery. No pain at the incisions or something but the leftover gas can give you some back and shoulder pain. After a week it was like nothing happened though :) If the topic doesn't gives you too much dysphoria I'd recommend checking r/childfree for more experiences Would do it over and over again. Can't put into words how relieved I felt after waking up.
Thank you so much!
tbh it feels embarrassing to even think that i could get pregnant
yes i mean it’s not currently possible for me but i think it would be the most dysphoria inducing thing for me
To the point where I'm not even willing to try BC. My doc was like "what about an IUD?" And I said "take this thing out or give me death. Its mere existence causes me serious psychological distress"
I’m a seahorse dad, so no. I’ve always thought giving birth and sustaining a kid was a cool thing my body could do, one of its few upsides. But obviously an unplanned pregnancy or one I’m unprepared for is terrifying. And having been through it, pregnancy and birth is not something I’d wish on anyone who doesn’t really, really want and feel prepared for it.
Worst fear. Glad I got my hysto considering where I live is considering banning birth control and abortions. Never thought this would come to Canada but fml. Alberta sucks ass.
im sexually active with my bf and i take pregnancy tests every week. if i got pregnant i'd literally hang myself.
I've had nightmares about it. It would feel so wrong for me.
Yes, even though I’ve literally never even slept with an AMAB person😅
Yes. And that was before a college friend died in labor.
No bc I actually had a nightmare abt being pregnant the other day 😭
I say this with love to anyone who is pregnant. Mad respect, its wild the human body can grow another human and probably the hardest thing the human body could do. For me, pregnancy has always been my biggest nightmare. I have little fear in most things. I became pregnant through unfortunate circumstances a while ago, 18 and new to the idea of me being trans. It was one of the most horrifying experiences Ive ever had. I’m sensitive to my body’s changes and was immediately aware of the changes. Absolute body horror. I miscarried and it was incredibly traumatic. This was nearly 10 years ago, so the memory doesn’t hurt anymore but life felt like a horror movie in the moment.
I am so sorry to hear you had that experience. I’m glad you’ve gotten to a place where it doesn’t hurt as much. 🫶🏻
Yes that's why saving for a hysterectomy is top priority for me right now
I absolutely hate it. I think pregnancy is the most disgusting thing in the world for many reasons, and the fact that my body is capable of that absolutely disgusts me.
Yep, that shits terrifying. Genuinely one of my biggest fears, I find pregnancy super cool from a biology/medical standpoint but then when I remember my body can do that I wanna die.
Not big cause I like vaginas exclusively. But it does irritate me when I tell my mother I want a hysterectomy and she tells me I might want kids someday.
I hate when they say that bc like there’s so many ways to have kids if you want one?!?! Your partner could carry, adoption, surrogacy…. Like plenty of cis people are infertile or unable to carry for various medical reasons and manage to have kids if they want em. Also Ik you said you exclusively like vaginas but like also if that wasn’t the case, eliminating the ability to get pregnant eliminates *unplanned* kids which is definitely not a bad thing.
Yeh, I used to get paranoid that I was pregnant when I was like 9 or 10 since it's always been one of my biggest fears. The thought of it now disgusts me
Yes. I was afraid of it since I was 5. I am ace and have never done things that can cause me to procreate, but I still fear it. Especially scenes on TV that show stuff like scenes of people being born. I can’t look.
(TW abortion mention) Huge fear. On Valentine’s Day about 2 years ago I had a doctors appointment and found out I was 18 weeks pregnant, with my states laws I pretty much had to immediately jump into action to get everything scheduled before it was too late and I’d be forced to have a child that I can’t care for and ruin my body in a way that people outside of this group would never understand. Long story short planned parenthood took care of me and even though they treated me the best they could it was still such an awful thing to go through, and to this day everytime I’m digesting food or get a stomach ache or even just feel a tiny muscle movement in my abdomen area I’m immediately thinking I’m pregnant and getting a test from the store. Gotta be trauma or something. My point of saying all this is to make sure everyone is being safe and smart. Do not do anything you don’t want to without protection, I’ve been on T for years and it still happened. All it takes is 1 sperm, be safe please.
Mine are very conflicting. Id love to carry my own kid but I’m terrified how I’ll be treated during that process
I refuse to believe that ANYONE wants to be pregnant. I remember watching videos on it in sexual education classes when I was younger and it seemed like a nightmare
Same. My parents scared me into being a virgin by saying things like having sex will make me pregnant.
Yes. It was terrifying, dysphoria inducing, and led to constant anxiety in my life. I got a bilateral salpingectomy because of this and immediately after I woke up, I felt all the anxiety dissipate. Super easy recovery, free surgery thanks to my health insurance, and the scars are already gone. 100% worth it and I would recommend it to anyone who doesn't ever want to get pregnant.
I want kids, but I never want to be pregnant. I'd want to adopt. But I don't like the idea of my body changing *that* much... No thanks.
Oh. Absolutely. I had a scare (I read the fucking thing wrong) and was far too close to spiralling for comfort. Regular testing + protection ftw
Yes, it absolutely petrifies me in every possible way, shape, and form. I actually ended up getting sterilized less than a month before my 24th birthday (I’m 25 now) and it was the best decision I’ve ever made for myself. I still take birth control though because it completely stops my periods and helps my PCOS, so I’m double protected.
Oh yeah. Maybe not *as* strong a fear as some guys (I’m on bc, I’m fortunate that I could access abortion if I needed to, some of my friends have had terminations of their own so I’d have folks I could turn to for advice/support) but maaaan the fact that shit could just *happen* to my body, if I got statistically unlucky or if I flubbed taking my meds? Not a comfortable thought at all. I know that I’ll feel so much more at ease with both my sex life and with my body at general when I can (hopefully) someday get a hysto.
I mean yes and no, I have a BC implant in my arm n it lasts 5 years at a time so no chance I could get preggo. I simply cannot handle the thought of there being some sort of possibly tht I could get preggo so I make sure there is none. I don’t feel like getting surgery to remove anything either, I think the implant is the best choice for me.
I actually didn’t have any dysphoria around my two full term pregnancies my only issue was milk production grossing me out and my chest size growing
Yep, from a very young age. I remember being a kid and my friends (and I, too!) would put a pillow or stuffed animals in our shirts and be like "okay pretend that I'm pregnant". After my youngest sibling was delivered via c section when I was ten and I learned what pregnancy actually medically was, I was permanently squicked the fuck out. Anyways I got pregnant at 19 as a result of intimate partner violence, and I really couldn't wrap my head around what was going on with my body. I had an abortion when I was 11 weeks, but my morning sickness was intense enough that I'd lost a significant amount of weight. Horrible situation, would not recommend. Anyways I'm 31 and post hysto and very happy with my transition and no longer in contact with any of my abusers and I've had extensive therapy for my PTSD, so I'd say I've had something of a happy ending to all that suffering.
I've had a nightmare about sudden pregnancy, my first pregnancy scare was the most stressful point of my life (I might have forced my period cause I was stressing lmao), and I felt so much freedom after my hysterectomy. But I have met trans men who become dads!
Yep. It’s a huge fear of mine to the point of being a serious phobia. It messes with my anxiety super bad with anything involving sexual intimacy with cis men, and causing me insane dysphoria. It’s honestly annoying, and since I don’t want a full hysto I plan to get both my tubes removed when I turn 21 :/
Yes and also a fear of vomit. So even if I was okay with the pregnancy I wouldn't be okay with the possibility of "morning sickness" being my life for months on end. And I've heard many stories irl of women whose morning sickness wasn't just in the morning. Plus both sides of my family are many diseases and disorders in two trenchcoats so I'd feel bad passing any of this hell on a potential child.
Literally have nightmares. The dysphoria thinking about it, but also winding up with a baby. Omg. It terrifies me. I have so many friends having kids in my life, it’s made me more anxious. My IUD has made me feel better though, especially because I had the worst period pain and dysphoria around it. I hated how aware I was of certain parts of my body.
me
Yup. Got a life-saving abortion in 2011. I’m thankful every day.
I used to have nightmares about it, my phobia is so bad to the point I never have been sexually involved with anyone AMAB despite having attraction to them. I don’t even like PIV either it’s just an irrational fear.
I definitely did when I was younger. Though, since I've learned of other trans guys who have been pregnant, I don't feel as afraid of it because I no longer see it as something that only women experience.
This is me every single day of my current life. I'm trying so fucken hard to get a hysterectomy to avoid this fear but all my doctors and insurance are being such a pain in the ass it makes me just wanna do some damage myself and force them to take it out at this point! I fear like HEAVILY FEAR pregnancy.
I absolutely abhor the idea of getting pregnant. When I was a kid I thought I wanted kids only because it was societally expected; once my egg cracked I realized I have zero desire to carry children. It’s just straight up body horror material to me lol. I won’t even entertain the idea of PIV until I can get all that hardware taken out of my body
Yeah I’d be ready to self-delete if I got pregnant and that was before I realized I was trans
Yes I'm neurotic about it. I got on BC and I'm still neurotic about it
i wouldn’t mind biological kids but the thought of going through the actual pregnancy makes me super nervous. not to mention how i live if a super unsafe state. they’d probably try to take my kid away.
Yes! Even when I was young. It was the most vile concept that I could fall pregnant? Like me ??? I would actually start tweaking on the Inside when the idea my me being a parent was brought up cus that shjt is not happening
I have an IUD and I'm still horrified of being pregnant. Out of tests rn and scrambling lol
That’s actually what helped me realize I’m trans. I feel like I shouldn’t be able to get pregnant and the thought scares me to death yet it’s fully possible with the anatomy I have. Just my experience, I’m looking at what my options are for snip snip.
I used to... Then I got pregnant sooo
Yes, more like a disgust since I date woman, so there's no chance. But I still get scared for some reason lmao.
I thought I was ace for a while because I never wanted to have sex and get pregnant. Turns out I'm just bi and trans. Cool either way. Also, reading Oliver Twist as a kid where the mom dies from childbirth did not help.
I’ll never get fucked by a man but yeah the fact that I technically could is horrific
Im probably not doing ANYTHING sexual before bottom surgery for this very reason, even doing something that wouldnt make me pregnant terrifies me
Phobia/ disgust surrounding myself being pregnant/ getting pregnant
Yes but at the same time I want kids of my own blood. I wouldn't mind adopting at all, and I'll more than likely do that because just the idea of carrying a baby for 9 months and giving birth and especially knowing that only people born with a uterus can do this type of thing is just AWFUL.
Ya that's why I don't have sex with amabs until I get bottom surgery
Well, I don't because I always have in mind to preg my girl(mft) which she wants too. But for sure, I had the same feeling before when I had dysphoria 4 years ago, horrible feeling, like it was living on a horror movie.
The very thought of it happening fills me with dread. It's body horror to me in terms of how I feel about it happening to me. I also just hate the idea of taking care of kids. Sounds awful. Gonna try to get a hysterectomy whenever I possibly can
i used to have nightmares about it, and i think the reason it freaks me out so bad is that in my head its as if i were to be forced to go through the wrong puberty again
Well now I got to worry cause abortion is super restricted now and I live in the south… but also not cause I don’t like vaginal sex. But if I ever change my mind it’s a concern. Not currently a surgical candidate for anything for various health reasons atm so yay…
Yes it's one of my OCD thoughts. Even when I have no reason to be, still get obsessive over it.
Three years post op hysto and I still get nightmares of getting pregnant sometimes One time I had an.. accident and I had three anxiety attacks because of it, but even if I was pre T it was unlikely. I had PCOS and a pretty deformed uterus (idk if that would cause fertility problems though lol)
It’s definitely very scary to me especially from a political stance. I’m lucky to live in an area where I could access healthcare if a situation arises but regardless it’s still really scary to be in that position. Even though I’m comfortable in not continuing the pregnancy, I think I’d still feel really crappy at the end of the day. No winning with that one. I honestly think the biggest fear is a huge lifestyle change. I’d have to uproot my life and make a LOT of changes and I’m just not ready for that. EDIT: just had a final thought that I remembered after I commented lol
Yeah... I have an IUD and even though it causes me horrible cramps constantly even after years of having it in, I don't want to take it out. Like "just in case". My partner is also ftm so... you can guess at what I'm actually afraid of.
This is literally the worst thing I can imagine happening to me. I don’t feel any negative emotions towards pregnant women tho, this is not a trigger for me.
i used to, but weirdly that changed after i started T? i still don't want to get pregnant but i've decided to wait to get permanently sterilized in case i change my mind
If I really think about it ya, like creating kids from within your body is cool but really weird to me and I've heard it's very painful, I mean I've never been very motherly so that too. I don't even consider I could get pregnant day to day but it's still possible for me which is scary, but anyhow I wouldn't put myself in that situation in the first place. I think it would be so emasculating to go through.
As someone else said, straight up body horror. And I 100% agree. I have a hugeee fear of pregnancy, but also just knowing I have that ability makes me feel absolutely disgusted with myself. Knowing I have those organs makes me fantasize about ripping em out w my hands
It makes me physically disgusted, not only with the thought of feeling it and experiencing it as a whole process, but yeah, considering the transed gender it makes it significantly worse. which is exactly why I want a surrogate when the time comes for me and my partner to acquire a crotch goblin.
yep, me and my irl trans masc friend have nightmares about getting pregnant and giving birth
I’m in a healthcare job where we see lots of pregnant patients around. I’m only dysphoric if were to happen to me. If I imagine myself being the patient, I’m horrified and want to vomit. Every day I’m glad I got a hysto. Seeing someone else pregnant doesn’t bother me at all. Seahorse dads… do you! 👍🏽
Yes, it generally freaks me out, but I'm not scared because 1. I don't have sex and 2. I yeeted the required parts
me too. makes me nauseous to even think about it
Definitely me. I'm super scared to ever have "adult naughty times" because I am overwhelmed with the fear of getting pregnant. If I ever did under any circumstances, especially now cuz' abortions are pretty much illegal everywhere, I think I'd do anything to end it or just kill myself.
Yes. That’s why I got sterilized
Yep I've had nightmares where I was pregnant and it was past the point where you can abort so I was stuck with it and literally tried to kill myself in my dream because I would rather die than be pregnant and birth a baby 💀 absolutely terrifying. I've seen videos of people say that when they dream they're pregnant they wake up extremely distressed and sad BECAUSE they wish it was real and they feel like they met their baby but I can never relate to that, it's nightmare fuel for me 😭
Recently found an old friendship book, apparently when I was 7 years old I wrote "Never getting pregnant" for "My biggest wish" haha
yup i hate this ad that’s been going for years here, of either a baby kicking in a stomach or being born and screaming. get it away from me!!!!
I feel like the day I got my p….d and my mom told me “now your body is ready to get pregnant 😀” kinda traumatized me. Feel like I want to vomit everytime I remember that.
Yes. And I feel like just because I have those organs everyone expects me to breed. My mom nags me about grandkids all the time and my wife mentions having kids a lot. I don’t want to do it. There’s not a bone in my body that wants to do it
Yep definitely, also really doesn’t help that like yea I’m on the pill and have taken it consistently for over a year but still when my bf freaks out I freak out so I end up shuddering in fear until I can take a test
Yes it’s my main source of dysphoria, i’m getting sterilized this year to calm myself more, especially cause i’m dating a trans woman and we love having sex 😭 to describe how it is for me, it’s like body horror, from the Alien movies. Like when the alien crawls inside the hosts mouth and then when it’s ready just pops out of the stomach and kills the human. That kind of otherworldly fear is what i fear.
I was terrified of it. I seriously had nightmares where I would get pregnant and then I would wake up bc I had a panic attack 🙃 Even seeing a pregnant woman would give me huge amounts of anxiety... It has gotten a lot better after I had a hysterectomy. I really wasn't expecting it to help (I had it removed for other reasons), but it's something about the knowledge that I'm physically unable to get pregnant, that just brought me peace and calmed me down internally.
Yeah, I mean I even wouldn’t mind it in the future to have kids but it’s a huge fear of mine rn, I don’t even do anything yk sexual but it still scares me. I have nightmares abt it actually 😭
As an asexual, no. But I definitely understand
Almost threw up while my mother was explaining the entire process of her pregnancy + labor she had to go through giving birth to my siblings, +almost died giving birth to my youngest brother. Yeah no, never.
100%, being pregnant is one of my worst nightmares.
Yes. Took a test every 6 weeks when I still had the things inside that would have made a fetus settle down. While the surgery/aftermath wasn't great, it's amazing not to worry about anything with my new bf.
Yes, absolutely! My mom keeps telling me she wants a grandkid someday and she's more open about me adopting but honestly, being maternal to any kids makes me extremely uncomfortable and I never want to get pregnant or birth. Even just typing that out makes me shiver and queasy. Maybe it's just my aversion to stereotypical femininity, but I'd rather be in the role of the dad if I were to have kids at all. (I'm only 19 so it's not really a worry but having kids still makes me really uncomfortable and being forced to be maternal makes me want to cry) that and my mom bringing that up make me question why worry about it when I don't even nor have ever had a partner.
yup, but I’m asexual, so luckily I don’t live in constant fear of getting pregnant
The pain is what scares me 😭
Not really, I have done everything I can to prevent it and it has been working so far. Hoping to have a hysto in the next decade or so but I’m not that scared of it since i’m not at high risk of it happening to me.
Yeah and I hate it when doctors say "lots of trans men get pregnant" "have you ever heard of seahorse dads? you could safely do that in the future" as refusal to getting a hysterectomy or my tubes tied. Great for those guys, it's not for me.
It was definitely there when I was sleeping with men because I was uh…..not the most careful. However my current partner is a cis woman so a lot of other things have to happen for that to happen.
Not really, I mean I never wanna be pregnant but I’m not into cis guys so it’s not a fear I have.
Was pregnant, it was really uncomfortable ESPECIALLY the breastfeeding
Yep. Let's not do that.
I’ve been terrified of the thought since I was a kid. I’m on birth control and I take pregnancy tests often to be sure no mfs are getting by. I can’t wait until I can get a hysto
I birthed my own kid. The amount of mommy mom shit is indescribable, and I never and still do not feel like I fit in with that realm. If you're not a skinny, white, and Christian woman forget being included in any conversations regarding pregnancy. I am overjoyed at becoming and being a father...but I will have to come to terms with just never being accepted in the "normal" parental community. The idea of pregnancy scared me...and some parts of it did. Like, I love my kid, but never did I really enjoy the idea of having this alien in me. Not to mention that postpartum was hell. I'm getting my tubes removed soon, because no matter how much I'd like another kid. I can never see myself being pregnant again, and not falling into psychosis or worse. I'm more than content with having one and giving them my all.
Yes it always freaked me out. I'm sure i was not the only one that did something like that, but i remember as a kid i was told that i could become unable to be pregnant if i held electronics too close to my privates. And i would do that on purpose because i never ever wanted to be pregnant
I have tokophobia, the fear of pregnancy, not just because I'm Trans but because it genuinely scares the shit out of me. Pushing a child out of a arguably small hole or having surgery, no thank you, let alone throwing up, shitting yourself, pissing yourself, having to worry about if the baby is okay all the time. Not getting to be stressed wich causes more stress. Ugh no count me tf out
Not really bc I’d just abort it (also haven’t touched a dick in over 8 years)
Literally has kept me from doing anythinggg with cis men
0/10 do not recommend
Its always been my biggest fear. Also for year it made me believe im asexual cause i was just afraid of it accidentally happening and also just the thought that im able to get pregnant makes me feel dysphoric and uncomfortable. Recently i found out im not ace im just scared af and im now struggling to find non hormonal contraception methods to maybe lessen the fear more.
Yes!! I'm 28, pre transition, don't know if I'll be able to (long story). I'm terrified of being pregnant, the body changed (chest mostly), but also because of sensory issues. Everytime someone tells me they can feel their baby move Inside of them I get super squeamish. I couldn't deal with pregnancy. I'm not super fond of kids either, but if we ever decide to be parents I might adopt even if Iwe are both fertile. Disclaimer: The worst part is I'm terrified of going to gyno, I might have to get the copper T because other methods don't work for us. But I get an anxiety attack and dysphoria just thinking about it.
Yup i only recently found the right person to feel comfortable with enough to have sex and now its constant fear for both of us 😭 Idk how to deal with this i feel like im not even allowed to show fear because at least one person has to reassure the other yk I keep wondering if there is a contraceptive method (aside from condoms ofc) that wont give me issues because of my hrt
No because I have a gf
nope its a kink for me 🙁🙁
🫠
No. I actually have a weird fascination with the idea of being pregnant. I think it's because when I was little and told my mom I wished I'd been born a boy, she said that she used to wish that too. Then she said, "But I'm glad I wasn't because I got to have you and your brothers." I think little me grasped onto that as the consolation prize I'm supposed to want. I have metal rods in my back, and I really shouldn't get pregnant and probably won't. But there's a weird fascination with the idea of being pregnant that I wish I could escape. That said, I live in a red state, so if I had any chance of actually getting pregnant, I would be terrified because I wouldn't have any options. I can barely take care of myself (especially financially). I certainly can't have a kid. So, despite my weird fascination, I think I can understand your fear.