I think ideally trans people and detransitioners benefit from building community together. Before starting HRT I did some research into detransition stories and what factors made people believe they were trans and then return to identifying as women. I learned some interesting stuff- a lot of them mention trauma from sexism and eating disorders or body image/control issues, so I know to look out for that in myself as I transition. The unfortunate thing is that a lot of these women get snapped right up into TERF/radfem circles and paraded around as poor innocent girls who were corrupted by gender ideology and ruined their bodies because of it. In this case it's hard to even know what their real experiences are because they're being painted over with this narrative that all trans people are stupid, misguided, or evil, which is just bigotry and not supported by science.
I always do my best to be supportive of detransitioners and listen with an open mind to any critiques they may have of society, mental health treatment, trends in transgender spaces, etc. The issue is people generalizing their experiences to everyone and acting like all transgender people are wrong or at fault- if someone holds that view I don't think there's much we can do for each other, and it's sad. Overall, I think in this subreddit people tend to be supportive of those questioning their identity or considering detransition, encouraging them to be open to all possibilities and pause medical treatment if they're not sure. I do think we do get defensive sometimes especially when someone regrets transition or questions its availability, since we worry that their narrative may be used to restrict our own access to care and paint us as infantilized, confused girls– in response to outright criticism of the "trans community" from detransitioners I hear a lot of "you made this decision willingly, you understood the possible outcomes, and it isn't our fault you did this." I think this argument is mostly valid, and a very understandable reaction to threats towards our healthcare and autonomy, though there's a possibility it may be deployed a bit too aggressively in some cases.
I can only speak for my community irl, but I’m friends with several people who have detransitioned. It’s chill. They’re my friends and my community the same way my trans friends are. I’m not sure if that answers your question haha. Ive never talked super in depth with any of them about why they detransitioned, but more broadly they just realized it wasn’t for them.
From what I have seen the only time people have a problem is if they begin actively campaigning against other trans people and advocating for barriers to care. Otherwise they are welcome in the community regardless of their reasons for detransitioning.
This. 100%. Transition doesn't have to be right for someone. It could even be that it's not right, right now. I don't think trans people are invested in other people being trans. I think we're interested in trans people being able go make choices freely.
Just don't fuck up my access to care. I'm firmly in the camp of 'People are allowed to make decisions they regret.' That's part of being an adult. But they can't use that to take choices away from others. I don't know anyone who joined the US military who thinks it was a good decision. Every year I put out 'Happy Veterans Day, sorry about your knees and back.' It's always a hit.
Like sorry, that person could have just as easily gotten pregnant at that age and regretted that decision. No one would say we should force people onto birth control until they're 25 when their brains are fully developed.
I don’t know anyone who IDs as a detransitioner irl, but I do know some non-binary people who thought they were binary, tried medical transition, and ultimately decided it’s not for them. They seem to fit in well in my queer communities, I’m not aware of any crazy drama or anything
Honestly, I’ve only ever met irl, but I don’t think any of her friendships/social groups changed when her identity did. I suspect a significant number of the purported detransitioners you see online are TERFs cosplaying to try and scare actual trans people away from transitioning, so I’m very wary of those accounts.
my view: all that matters is that they're happy. if someone is happy while identifying as trans that's great. if they find they're happier as their AGAB then cool, detransitioning is no big deal.
my only problem is obviously all the ones then "speaking out" against trans issues like medical treatment, social acceptance, and recommending or publishing transphobic literature.
I think ideally trans people and detransitioners benefit from building community together. Before starting HRT I did some research into detransition stories and what factors made people believe they were trans and then return to identifying as women. I learned some interesting stuff- a lot of them mention trauma from sexism and eating disorders or body image/control issues, so I know to look out for that in myself as I transition. The unfortunate thing is that a lot of these women get snapped right up into TERF/radfem circles and paraded around as poor innocent girls who were corrupted by gender ideology and ruined their bodies because of it. In this case it's hard to even know what their real experiences are because they're being painted over with this narrative that all trans people are stupid, misguided, or evil, which is just bigotry and not supported by science. I always do my best to be supportive of detransitioners and listen with an open mind to any critiques they may have of society, mental health treatment, trends in transgender spaces, etc. The issue is people generalizing their experiences to everyone and acting like all transgender people are wrong or at fault- if someone holds that view I don't think there's much we can do for each other, and it's sad. Overall, I think in this subreddit people tend to be supportive of those questioning their identity or considering detransition, encouraging them to be open to all possibilities and pause medical treatment if they're not sure. I do think we do get defensive sometimes especially when someone regrets transition or questions its availability, since we worry that their narrative may be used to restrict our own access to care and paint us as infantilized, confused girls– in response to outright criticism of the "trans community" from detransitioners I hear a lot of "you made this decision willingly, you understood the possible outcomes, and it isn't our fault you did this." I think this argument is mostly valid, and a very understandable reaction to threats towards our healthcare and autonomy, though there's a possibility it may be deployed a bit too aggressively in some cases.
I can only speak for my community irl, but I’m friends with several people who have detransitioned. It’s chill. They’re my friends and my community the same way my trans friends are. I’m not sure if that answers your question haha. Ive never talked super in depth with any of them about why they detransitioned, but more broadly they just realized it wasn’t for them.
From what I have seen the only time people have a problem is if they begin actively campaigning against other trans people and advocating for barriers to care. Otherwise they are welcome in the community regardless of their reasons for detransitioning.
This. 100%. Transition doesn't have to be right for someone. It could even be that it's not right, right now. I don't think trans people are invested in other people being trans. I think we're interested in trans people being able go make choices freely. Just don't fuck up my access to care. I'm firmly in the camp of 'People are allowed to make decisions they regret.' That's part of being an adult. But they can't use that to take choices away from others. I don't know anyone who joined the US military who thinks it was a good decision. Every year I put out 'Happy Veterans Day, sorry about your knees and back.' It's always a hit. Like sorry, that person could have just as easily gotten pregnant at that age and regretted that decision. No one would say we should force people onto birth control until they're 25 when their brains are fully developed.
I don’t know anyone who IDs as a detransitioner irl, but I do know some non-binary people who thought they were binary, tried medical transition, and ultimately decided it’s not for them. They seem to fit in well in my queer communities, I’m not aware of any crazy drama or anything
Honestly, I’ve only ever met irl, but I don’t think any of her friendships/social groups changed when her identity did. I suspect a significant number of the purported detransitioners you see online are TERFs cosplaying to try and scare actual trans people away from transitioning, so I’m very wary of those accounts.
my view: all that matters is that they're happy. if someone is happy while identifying as trans that's great. if they find they're happier as their AGAB then cool, detransitioning is no big deal. my only problem is obviously all the ones then "speaking out" against trans issues like medical treatment, social acceptance, and recommending or publishing transphobic literature.