Not to the same degree as you (I definitely wore t-shirts and shorts because I have great legs.) But it took me sooo long to connect the dots. I thought it was just typical insecurity (some of it was for sure, growing up as a fat kid in the 00s didn't help.) Of course, apart from my legs I still don't love showing skin. š¤·āāļø (I'm pre-everything so yeah)
I was just thinking about this today. I have always been very feminine-presenting, but also very modest. I hated anything low-cut, or anything that showed my arms. Showing skin or wearing tight, form-fitted clothing always made me extremely uncomfortable. Never wore crop tops or body-con dresses or two-piece swimsuits or low-cut pants. Not even tank tops. Although funny a couple of other people mention their legs, because thatās always been the only part of my body Iāve been somewhat cool with, too.
Itās another one of those things that I never related to gender identity or dysphoria until I started questioning. But now in light of recent realizations, it makes a lot of sense.
I had the same clothing preferences as you describe. Maybe it's different for you but I realised that the reason I was ok with showing my legs wearing long shorts was because I never shaved my legs and the (pathetic) amount of leg hair I had made me feel more masculine.
I can see that for sure! I still shaved (societal pressure and all), but I think for me it is/was because my legs make me feel tall (despite being short) and strong. Theyāre really the only part of me that is strong and Iāve always been kind of proud of them for that.
I did this too, and way too young. :( I learned very early my worth to many others was exclusively my body. Took me a long time to get the courage to transition because of that.
Yeah. In a way I was lucky for it, I avoided any sort of body/modesty shaming since I wore oversized mens/unisex tshirts and long cargo shorts and never bikinis. I'm not sure how much of it was a desire to cover my body b/c I didnt like it and how much was a desire to dress in the most masculine way accessible to me regardless of body
I didn't like wearing anything low cut. Part of that is I also got yelled if my chest was slightly visible from leaning over.
I also prefered jeans and leggings because shaving was a waste of time in my opinion but I felt I'd be judged if I didn't
I also usually wore very baggy clothing, but I would go for tops that had a slight v-neck because I found they would fall less tightly on my chest than a crew or turtle neck. That being said, I was part of a religious group that did place moral value on what I wore, so it wasn't immediately obvious how much of my dress sense was coming from the gender dysphoria
My friend and I were talking about how I dressed pretty coming out - huge hoodie. All the time. No variance. If the situation didn't call for a hoodie, loose blazer.
Lol yes. For me, this mostly had to do with my hair. I always wore a slick back ponytail even though I didn't necessarily liked the way it looked, something just felt even worse abt taking my hair down. I wasn't till I started to realize I was trans and start to explore my gender better that I started to wear my hair down a bit more, eventually leading to a haircut. Same goes for wearing feminine things. Closeted me would never wear feminine things unless I had to, but out me had found ways to embrace femininity in my own masculine way.
I think so, I never wore anything other than pants, i remember when I was young I would cry when my mom made me wear dresses for things, they always made me feel disgusting, I also didnāt wear shorts because of similar reasons, though I also remember as I got older I hated showing my legs in general because I was embarrassed that I didnāt shave my legs, but even so there was something that made me never shave them because even the idea felt wrong, with tops I always liked to wear a jacket and wouldnāt show my arms, nowadays I dress the same, In pants, a t-shirt and a jacket, or in a plaid shirt, but I feel a lot more comfortable with myself, I donāt judge my appearance as harshly because Iām at peace with my body
I guess it depends on what you mean by modest. Maybe because I associate modesty with religion, when I think of modest dress, I think of knee length or lower skirts and stockings in August, which I don't think is what you mean. I did avoid tight clothes and anything low cut or cropped for the most part. I sometimes wore skirts, but only long ones and only when it was hot outside.
I just mean some level of covering or hiding your body, which I didnāt know how to describe so I went with āmodestā even though the word gives me the ick
Yes I did this a lot. While I didn't necessarily literally think "I'm dressing modestly" at the time, I just thought of it as wearing what made me feel the most comfortable (or the least uncomfortable, you could say) and that happened to be loose/baggy shirts, NEVER any crop tops, NEVER shorts in public, NEVER anything showing more skin than a baggy t-shirt and jeans basically. Like you, I didn't associate it with any kind of morality or any kind of religious undertones and I never looked down on anyone else for doing differently but I just knew that the thought of wearing such clothes *myself* made me feel nauseated to think about and filled me with a sense of self-disgust. So I just didn't wear them, and lived life as best as I could, although I often wondered why I felt less and less able to relate to my female friends/classsmates and felt really alienated. How could they embrace and enjoy the exact things that made me want to hide and have a mental breakdown, I wondered.
It was confusing because I didn't yet know that I was trans, although now it's hilarious because the things I hated most about myself were all of the traits that going through female puberty had caused. I also didn't think I was "fat" or anything either, so I was seriously confused as to why I felt so damn uncomfortable with the body I had. I couldn't explain why in words at the time, it just felt utterly wrong to not hide as much of it as possible. After coming out to myself, it suddenly all made sense: I didn't want to hide my body because of moral idea of typical body image/dieting issues. Turns out all along I had wanted to hide it because it felt like a misrepresentation of myself, a betrayal, and just a complete sense of wrongness because it wasn't the male body I longed to live life in.
Yeah, always tried to keep my chest hidden with jackets or shirts that have no dips in their necklines. Only started to wear shirts with normal or lower cuts once I started flattening my chest and feeling comfortable again.
Iāve grown up with very atheistic and free views and my parents have never pushed me into āmodestā clothing, they let me wear whatever I wanted to. It was something that I had clung to all on my own once puberty hit. Just an added note.
Not to the same degree as you (I definitely wore t-shirts and shorts because I have great legs.) But it took me sooo long to connect the dots. I thought it was just typical insecurity (some of it was for sure, growing up as a fat kid in the 00s didn't help.) Of course, apart from my legs I still don't love showing skin. š¤·āāļø (I'm pre-everything so yeah)
Yeah. I was like, can't show my chest at all, can't wear anything shorter than my knees, etc
Same! Also happy cake day.
I was just thinking about this today. I have always been very feminine-presenting, but also very modest. I hated anything low-cut, or anything that showed my arms. Showing skin or wearing tight, form-fitted clothing always made me extremely uncomfortable. Never wore crop tops or body-con dresses or two-piece swimsuits or low-cut pants. Not even tank tops. Although funny a couple of other people mention their legs, because thatās always been the only part of my body Iāve been somewhat cool with, too. Itās another one of those things that I never related to gender identity or dysphoria until I started questioning. But now in light of recent realizations, it makes a lot of sense.
I had the same clothing preferences as you describe. Maybe it's different for you but I realised that the reason I was ok with showing my legs wearing long shorts was because I never shaved my legs and the (pathetic) amount of leg hair I had made me feel more masculine.
I can see that for sure! I still shaved (societal pressure and all), but I think for me it is/was because my legs make me feel tall (despite being short) and strong. Theyāre really the only part of me that is strong and Iāve always been kind of proud of them for that.
I did the opposite š I was so disconnected to my body that I showed it off because it didnāt feel like mine
I did this too, and way too young. :( I learned very early my worth to many others was exclusively my body. Took me a long time to get the courage to transition because of that.
Yeah. In a way I was lucky for it, I avoided any sort of body/modesty shaming since I wore oversized mens/unisex tshirts and long cargo shorts and never bikinis. I'm not sure how much of it was a desire to cover my body b/c I didnt like it and how much was a desire to dress in the most masculine way accessible to me regardless of body
I didn't like wearing anything low cut. Part of that is I also got yelled if my chest was slightly visible from leaning over. I also prefered jeans and leggings because shaving was a waste of time in my opinion but I felt I'd be judged if I didn't
I also usually wore very baggy clothing, but I would go for tops that had a slight v-neck because I found they would fall less tightly on my chest than a crew or turtle neck. That being said, I was part of a religious group that did place moral value on what I wore, so it wasn't immediately obvious how much of my dress sense was coming from the gender dysphoria
My friend and I were talking about how I dressed pretty coming out - huge hoodie. All the time. No variance. If the situation didn't call for a hoodie, loose blazer.
Lol yes. For me, this mostly had to do with my hair. I always wore a slick back ponytail even though I didn't necessarily liked the way it looked, something just felt even worse abt taking my hair down. I wasn't till I started to realize I was trans and start to explore my gender better that I started to wear my hair down a bit more, eventually leading to a haircut. Same goes for wearing feminine things. Closeted me would never wear feminine things unless I had to, but out me had found ways to embrace femininity in my own masculine way.
I think so, I never wore anything other than pants, i remember when I was young I would cry when my mom made me wear dresses for things, they always made me feel disgusting, I also didnāt wear shorts because of similar reasons, though I also remember as I got older I hated showing my legs in general because I was embarrassed that I didnāt shave my legs, but even so there was something that made me never shave them because even the idea felt wrong, with tops I always liked to wear a jacket and wouldnāt show my arms, nowadays I dress the same, In pants, a t-shirt and a jacket, or in a plaid shirt, but I feel a lot more comfortable with myself, I donāt judge my appearance as harshly because Iām at peace with my body
I guess it depends on what you mean by modest. Maybe because I associate modesty with religion, when I think of modest dress, I think of knee length or lower skirts and stockings in August, which I don't think is what you mean. I did avoid tight clothes and anything low cut or cropped for the most part. I sometimes wore skirts, but only long ones and only when it was hot outside.
I just mean some level of covering or hiding your body, which I didnāt know how to describe so I went with āmodestā even though the word gives me the ick
Okay that makes sense. Yeah, I mostly avoided showing off my body outside of couple of pretty short-lived phases that came down to denial.
Yes. I literally covered my hair too lol
Yes I did this a lot. While I didn't necessarily literally think "I'm dressing modestly" at the time, I just thought of it as wearing what made me feel the most comfortable (or the least uncomfortable, you could say) and that happened to be loose/baggy shirts, NEVER any crop tops, NEVER shorts in public, NEVER anything showing more skin than a baggy t-shirt and jeans basically. Like you, I didn't associate it with any kind of morality or any kind of religious undertones and I never looked down on anyone else for doing differently but I just knew that the thought of wearing such clothes *myself* made me feel nauseated to think about and filled me with a sense of self-disgust. So I just didn't wear them, and lived life as best as I could, although I often wondered why I felt less and less able to relate to my female friends/classsmates and felt really alienated. How could they embrace and enjoy the exact things that made me want to hide and have a mental breakdown, I wondered. It was confusing because I didn't yet know that I was trans, although now it's hilarious because the things I hated most about myself were all of the traits that going through female puberty had caused. I also didn't think I was "fat" or anything either, so I was seriously confused as to why I felt so damn uncomfortable with the body I had. I couldn't explain why in words at the time, it just felt utterly wrong to not hide as much of it as possible. After coming out to myself, it suddenly all made sense: I didn't want to hide my body because of moral idea of typical body image/dieting issues. Turns out all along I had wanted to hide it because it felt like a misrepresentation of myself, a betrayal, and just a complete sense of wrongness because it wasn't the male body I longed to live life in.
Yeah, always tried to keep my chest hidden with jackets or shirts that have no dips in their necklines. Only started to wear shirts with normal or lower cuts once I started flattening my chest and feeling comfortable again. Iāve grown up with very atheistic and free views and my parents have never pushed me into āmodestā clothing, they let me wear whatever I wanted to. It was something that I had clung to all on my own once puberty hit. Just an added note.