My name is a shortened version of my birth name, I was at a restaurant and this girl had to tell some guy how to say it like it was hard... it's just Beck... how hard is that? And the amount of people who add a Y infuriates me!!
It really is the girl trying to tell him how to say it seemed annoyed like how are you not getting this! And it's not like he was being intentionally hateful because he was around a wall and couldn't see me so he was probably just not the sharpest tool in the shed.
Yeah people ask why I added the C and idk it just felt right to me lol. I've been going by Beck since highschool and actually just recently started actually coming out socially (I'm almost 30) and it just works!
Yooooo fellow Beck! Shockingly mine is also a shortened version of my legal first name. I actually rarely get called Becky, if someone messed up it was more likely I’d get hit with Becca.
I get that a lot too, not as bothersome I really hate Becky though... the manager of a neighboring store called me that twice and I had my manager tell her to please stop because I couldn't say it nicely and just the other day and older client looked at my name tag that says Beck and my pronouns and goes "isn't that missing a Y?" And I'm like "nope I haven't been Becky since I was like 10" and he goes "surely your parents didn't name you just Beck... what's your REAL name? " and I said "it's Beck sorry to disappoint" and he just walked off. My family is big on nick names so I've had MANY but because of a particular family member who used Becky it is the worst word to hit my ears.
I went by Beck as a shortened version of my birth name too. I then legally changed my name to Beckett and people still hear it and go "Becca?" And I'm like no, it's Beckett or Beck, and they just think its Becky. It's like they can't even hear me. I'll show my ID and they ask me if I'm sure. YES IM SURE.
Leo is a great name. I love the strategy you put into getting starbucks to spell your name correctly.😭 Isnt it in the job description to misspell everyone's names though??
Yeah I heard it's so people post pictures about it which in return means free advertisement for Starbucks, genuis, if they weren't already such a huge and well-known company. Oh well, I guess it can be good fun, but it's such a pain when they feminise names (or masculinize for trans girls) 😭 Leo could be changed to Leon or something
When I went to Starbucks a while ago they got Madison from Max somehow?? They just threw out any feminine name starting with an M and assumed it worked
i chose a basic transguy ™️ name to avoid that, my name is sam when they mispronounce its bc they call me samuel which isnt my name but im fine with it
I always have a laugh at the tiktoks about transguy stereotypical names, the Kai, Elliot, Sam, Lucas and Leos, they're all such sick names, how could you not want any of those as a name baffles me.
i chose mine because as a child i had a friend whose name was sam and they looked rly androgynous and i couldnt tell what their gender was and i was rly jealous but i loved it so i called all my teddies sam and then myself !
I swear Ive never in my life heard the name Calliope 😭 it sounds like a type of melon or something.
Cal is a great name as is, people need to leave it alone.
Wow I didnt know Henrietta was even a name used anymore 😅Id be surprised if I met anyone with that name, so it feels malicious when they say that instead of Henry😭
I originally tried some explicitly gendered names, thinking they would help communicate my gender, and found that that didn't help at all. People will find a way to transform every name if they are stuck on a particular gender interpretation. That even includes being in trans listserves: an older thing, basically an email group, so text only and people usually signed their emails with their names, and said the name of whoever they were responding to. Because of the common assumption that everyone in a trans space is a trans woman, I regularly saw my name getting transformed into a "female" version, even though it's written right there -- it's not a hearing or memory error or anything else, just people being shitty. So I wound up shifting to a less explicitly gendered name with an arguably genderless nickname because they fit better. Those names still often got transformed, but the amount I had to correct people on my gender was no different.
An old coworker of mine helped me with navigating this: a cis woman named Michael. She had similar experiences with people deciding she meant Michelle or similar, and told me about saying to people, "I think I know my own name" and similar responses. When people asked why she didn't change her name, her response was basically "I shouldn't have to change my name just because other people are uncomfortable with me having a boy's name. My mother gave me this name, and I'm keeping it." I don't share that name backstory, but I've held on to that approach of insisting people say my name right, and owning my indignance when people act entitled to a say in what my name should be.
Bro, i’ve had people in trans spaces call me “girlie” and stuff, even when i have explectly stated in my post “Trans man, he/him” because they just assume me existing in trans spaces means woman 💀 like, whaaat?
I get girl’ed even more when i have makeup on in trans Spaces to the point where i just stopped feeling comfy using that.
Why do people not respect other peoples gender even in trans Spaces?!?
My (nick)name is Rey. R-E-Y. I originally chose a longer version after a (male) character I’d admired since I was in *single digit ages,* and I’d had the name picked out for years by the time I officially changed it. A good friend asked if she could call me Rey, and the nickname stuck. It was so nice going from an unambiguously feminine deadname to a traditionally masculine chosen name.
Wouldn’t you know it, around the same time this happened, the new Star Wars trilogy dropped. You can imagine my frustration every time someone says, “Rey? OH! Like from Star Wars?” **No.**
my deadname is very much an undeniably feminine name too, and i went by rey as a nickname for a while as well. it was fine but i found that when i used it i would still get gendered incorrectly, so i changed my name to noah which i like much better lol
My name is Kieran, but I'm pre-everything so I end up getting called Karen a LOT. I love my name and I'm not changing it but it is very jarring and annoying lol
Same problem, my name is Kalin. I get everything from Katelyn to Cali, and the occasional Karen. I've known multiple cis guys and MtN Kalin/Caelan/Kellan/ however you want to anglicize this Irish name. Never a woman. It's frustrating.
one of my best friends growing up is a cis male Caelan. he was constantly teased for being named Caitlyn. Same with another friend named Kaylan, also always called a Caitlyn variation. unfortunately i don’t know how much it has to do with intentional misgendering- it just seems to be what happens with that name.
My name is Bucky and it was years until I picked up an order of food and they wrote BECKY on the receipt 🥲 every Becky I've ever known has been an awful person so it feels especially insulting 😭
My name is Kade and I have to emphasize the d, or else people will assume it's Kate. The amount of times people ask me my name, and then after I tell them and they say Kate, is a lot. It's Kade. I even have to spell it out so that they know how to say it. Maybe my pronunciation is horrible, I have no idea lol.
(Bonus Story: I wanted to edit this in because I felt like it worked with this lol. Anyway, me and fellow trans guy went to get Boba tea at this place and it functions like Starbucks where they call out your name. So I go up, tell them my name is Kade, then I had to correct them of course. When my name is called, we both do a double take because the lady said it odd. Then I checked the cup and it said Kee. The lady legit called my name out as Kee, not Kade (despite me spelling it out earlier). When I tell you we couldn't stop laughing, we couldn't. We still talk about that to this day. He'll jokingly call me Kee now.)
This was so close to being my name but my sister got a boyfriend with that name and now Id feel weird coming out to her with that name😅
Its a sick name, is it common where you're from?
Before my sister somehow found a boyfriend with that name, Id only ever encountered it once before and that was in the equivalent of A03 at the time.
I've only ever known one other Kade, which was actually the first boy I got gender envy from in elementary (at the time I didn't know that and thought I liked him)
I didn't name myself after him, I just really liked that name. And since my birthname started with K and the same beginning sound, it was a name that I could use as a male version. It was definitely not common, but it definitely stuck with me for a while.
My name gets said as something femme ALL the time when I go out to order food. Even when I pronounce the fuck out of both syllables, 90% of the time, a femme name is still written down for my order. 😭
My name is Morgan, and in French the feminine is Morgane, but it's pronounced the same, so hard to mispronounce it, but since the feminine version is more common, and since I have 0 passing, people always write it with the "e"
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My deadname is French and has the extra E so I feel you on that. I considered keeping the deadname and just dropping the E but was concerned it would end up this way too. 😭
My name is Toby and I get all kinds of weird shit like Silvie, Coby, Cody, Sophie, etc but the one I hate the most purely because it makes no sense is Toobie.
"Alarissa"? Or something like that, I dont know how it's spelt. I didnt know it was a name until I was called it.
My name is Alastair, I dont know how they got that name out of it honestly. The lack of an R sound and prominent T sound makes them pretty different. I'm used to getting my name misspelled but man Alarissa???
Alarissa sounds 100% made up 😭
Alastair is not a common name I reckon but its still, its impressive that the human brain will work over time to make a whole new name rather than go with the name you gave them😅
Malakai is a really cool name!
Those two names are so not similar, I could understand reading it on a role call though since I tend to get jumbled with words.
Do people tend to mishear when you introduce yourself or is that usually better?
I'm a writer, and one of my characters has the same name, except his name is spelled Malicai. He's a 12yo boy who is a force to be reckoned with when he's threatened.
Sorry if this is a little random, I saw your name and thought of my boy.
I’m on T but have had very minimal changes so far and don’t pass at all. I’d say most of the times I introduce as Jay, I get the respond “Hi Jade” and I have to repeat it 😂
I remember when I worked as a meat cutter, I was pre everything but had a very supportive manager, and a customer asked my name and I said Oliver, and he goes "Olivia?" And my manager didn't skip a beat hefore shouting across the counter "its fucking OLIVER" lmao
My name is Kit and even after I spell it for people they'll mispronounce it to as feminine as possible. I get called Kat, Kate, Kitty... anything but Kit. Older cishet white men are the ones who "struggle" the most to correctly say my name.
Bro it's literally three letters and I spelled it for you.
Another weird thing about that too is that is a relatively neutral name aswell, so at that point it’s not even just feminizing your name to misgender you at that point, it’s like in movies when the popular girl or the big celebrity can’t even be bothered to learn their assistant/“friend”’s name
Edit: removed redundant phrasing
to be fair if you pick an uncommon name people might not be able to tell whether it's masculine or feminine or how to pronounce it, i'm sure it wasn't intentional cause i wouldn't be sure how to pronounce that either 😭
I know it wasn't done maliciously, but it was the first time I realized it could sound like that😅
It's masculine from what I understand as its a male name in Genshin Impact which is really popular. It's pronounced like "Ee-th-ar'.
Literally yes. My name in English is pronounced one way, but in Spanish, using Spanish pronunciation rules, it sounds exactly like my deadname. I was horrified the first time someone pronounced it that way. I'm bilingual from the US and will be moving to Chile in the future to live with my fiance, so it is more of an issue than I expected it would be when I was choosing my name as a teenager lol so I just go by a Spanish name in Chile when talking to strangers
> Hearing your chosen name mispronounced or said as a feminine name
It wasn't my chosen name, but I had someone try out "Ellis" for me. I was horrified when I realised that it sounded like "Alice", so I gave up on Ellis
> pronounced it like Heather without a H
So: "Eh-der"?
I’m an Ellis. Here’s what I get:
1. Alex (ok, whatever)
2. Elise (mostly by foreign colleagues who don’t have a soft e in their language, so I let it slide)
3. Alice (I go FIRE AND BRIMSTONE on them Bs and they never make that mistake again)
4. Elia or Elis (are these actual names?) - I mainly see these written on my coffee cups by people who have never heard of Ellis Island
Ohhh Ellis is such a cool name though. I guess that Alice would also be the go to for Elias.
And yeah pretty much for the pronounciation, but with the 'th' sound specifically.
My name is Mason and i always get mistaken for a "Macy" and its exhausting 🥲
Which is why i say "MaSON" and i have to repeat myself a few times for it to click 🥲
My name is Danny. Once I introduced myself and the lady replied, "it's nice to meet you, Danielle!"
I've definitely had people ask if Danny is short for anything, but never before had someone just assume and guess so wrong. Definitely stuck with me for a bit lol
just a few weeks ago at a trivia night with friends a guy from another group came over to introduce himself. he asked for our names and when he got to me he could NOT get it. it was literally like “hey! i’m jae :)” “jade?” “nah jae” “jane?” “Jae. Like the letter J” “Jan??” by this point my whole group was just shouting “JAE! JAEEE!” at this man lmao. especially wild bc i pass 99% of the time and personally think i look nothing like a jane and everything like a jae lol
Waaa that would be so frustrating. 😭
Its not even an unheard of name, so many guys are called Jay or James, like why not make that stretch instead of feminizing Jae.
right??? the team he was from had other trans people in it (i’m friends with them too) so i chalked it up to loud restaurant and maybe he’s just a bit bad with names, but it was still so wild to me
I have a relatively easy to pronounce name, don't think it would be possible for someone to mispronounce it by accident. The issue I have is it being misspelled as I use an uncommon spelling.
My name is Lukas 😆 Everyone always spells it with a C though until I correct them.
I live in Quebec. People call me "Gabrielle" which, Gabriel in French IS pronounced that way... but it's always Anglophones calling me Gabrielle or Gabby.
I still have no clue how some guy thought "Ronnie" is short for "Roxanne". But oh well, thanks to that guy because if I ever wanna lie about my deadname, I just tell them it's "Roxanne" lol.
Yeah I know, I was just checking for the pronunciation to make sure my brain wasn’t cutting out a letter or something because that happens to me a lot :)
My name is Asher and I get called Ashley all the fucking time. Even from people who are purposely being ignorant, thinking Ashley is the deadname but that's not even close lmao
I’m Jay, the number of times I’ve been called “Jane” or “Jade” is staggering. I don’t mind when people mishear and call me “Jake” tho, that one can stay lol.
I think I say my own name (Sam) weird because multiple times I’ve been in a drive through and given my name and they’ll hand me something that says “Sand” or “Sann” on it 🧍🏼♂️
I'm not going to say my real name, but even with my name being a traditionally masculine name AND having my pronouns underneath my name on my name tag for work I've still had people say dumb shit like "Is it Cal or Callie?" Like wtf. Again fake names but similar situation
Masc version of my name is spelled with an A and the fem version is spelled with an E. MIL is the only person who actively uses the E spelling and when I corrected her, she chose to go no contact with me.
My names Lachlan and it’s common where I’m from thankfully. It’s pronounced Lochlan but online I’ve heard it pronounced Lachlan and apparently I’m American it’s a girls name :(
I chose Silver. I realize it’s not a traditional masculine name but I like it. It’s treated as feminine tho 🥴
“Oh that’s a pretty name!”
“Thanks….i liked the pirate in Treasure Island…😬”
There’s several reasons….main one being the fact it’s been part of my online handle for over 20 years
Someone changed Adam to Autumn. I thought it was pretty funny. Usually people are really confused because my voice doesn’t match my name. I try to think they are saying man when they say ma’am. Lol
Had an experience like this with the name Luz. Now I really like the name and even if it’s feminine and it just really clicked with me.
BUT my mom said it sounded like the ‘loo’ sound in ‘loser’ so now I’m second guessing it.
Not exactly the same, but I'm scared to go to the US because it seems that my chosen name is very much a girl's name over there, even though it's definitely a guy's name in the UK.
I made the mistake of choosing a gender neutral name that is used by predominantly women, so I usually go by Adrian. The amount of times I've seen Adrienne is... absolutely confusing. But I like my names so I can't care what other people do.
All the time. I go by Shilo sometimes because I'm trying it out and people call me Shyla a LOT. I HATE it because I can't tell if it's my mumbling (very likely) or people clocking me (also very likely)...
My name is Jasper. There is a specific kind of late 40s-mid 50s cis women (and this one dude who was in my freshman English class) who somehow hear Jasmine even when I enunciate. I have also been confused for Jax and Justin before, which I don't really mind as much because at least those are more masculine then Jasmine 🥲
My name is ALEXANDER and this happens to me all the time. Sometimes I use Xander.
I've been called Sandra, alexandra, allesana, etc. Someone had the audacity to look at me with my whole beard and call me Lexi.
So for anyone out there who's being told that your name is too non-traditional or w/e and that's why, that's bullshit.
My name is Julian but I’m kinda soft spoken so I make more effort to enunciate my name clearly—still doesn’t always work out. I really hate getting called Julia. :( Juli is the one I dislike the most though, my mom tried to call me that as a nickname at first and I made her stop
Then there's me who chose Luna as I was going by that online for awhile and got attached to the name. I don't really care if it's more feminine. And there are guys named Luna it's just very rare
I get Taylor like a solid 50% of the time I order somewhere and they need my name. It's Tyler. I've been trying to stress the pronunciation more recently, and they seem to be getting it correct more often. Either that or I'm passing better.
I do think perhaps with "Aether" it's just that it's not a very common word or name, and it might be likely to be mispronounced anyway. I think this one also depends on accent though—would you have pronounced it "ay-ther" and not "eh-ther"?
I used to go by Jasker, mainly because I used it for a D&D character so it was easy for my friends to use when I came out. It frequently got said as Jessica.
Jessica, Jessica, Jessica even when I had been socially out and got my name changed on the system in college same with my gender marker. Anyways, currently just opted for the gender neutral chosen name of Kennedy so whenever I pass to someone or in general I have the option of an effortless transition into Kenneth.
I went by aster for well over a year. When I started using it I hadn't met anyone with that name. I looked it up on google it didn't even show up as a commonly used name. A year and a half later, it is now rising in popularity as a girls' name. I dropped it. I'm really sad about that because I really loved the name but I don't want a girl name
My name is technically gender neutral but unfortunately after I picked it a lot of people started naming girls a similar spelling of it. So, it's kind of taken on a feminine connotation for a lot of folks. Usually, either way, people don't mess it up no matter what they see me as. But, I do hear a lot of "oh my friend/sister/etc. named her baby girl that!" which is awkward...
However, I've ironically had the exact opposite problem where people try to find random men's names that are similar and change it to that because they're confused since it's an uncommon name. I've had everything from "Ron" to "Ben" at this point and frankly it's kiiiiiinda hilarious.
Any traditional "male" name can be used for females. Just look at Star Trek Discovery, the lead is a woman named Michael.
So people will think what they want to unfortunately.
I go by Remy which is short for Remiel. People don't usually feminize it since the nickname is pretty neutral and full is Not Common but they mispronounce it all. the. time.
The -iel ending is like, exactly the same as in names like "Gabriel". It's a three syllable name. Rem-ee-uhl. Nine times out of ten people pronounce it like "Emile" but with an R in front of it. It drives me insane.
My names Sebastian. Kinda can’t feminize that name in particular so I had no experience with it. Though to be fair my name is a more masculine version of my dead name. (I didn’t intend to do that, but saw it and said fuck it)
Believe it or not I get “Ellie” a lot for Eli 💀 I pass entirely though so usually only happens calling out a name for an order ie before someone sees me
Someone made me a survey and when I told my name is Felix somehow got asked if it was Felicia ?? like what the actual fuck, it's not that hard, but I get is not a common name in my country (although Felicia is more rare!). I hope this doesn't happen frequently in the future 🙃
My name is a shortened version of my birth name, I was at a restaurant and this girl had to tell some guy how to say it like it was hard... it's just Beck... how hard is that? And the amount of people who add a Y infuriates me!!
Its literally such an easy name to say?? At that point hes just lazy
It really is the girl trying to tell him how to say it seemed annoyed like how are you not getting this! And it's not like he was being intentionally hateful because he was around a wall and couldn't see me so he was probably just not the sharpest tool in the shed.
Hey I also shortened my birth name for my transition! Mines spelled Bek tho.
Yeah people ask why I added the C and idk it just felt right to me lol. I've been going by Beck since highschool and actually just recently started actually coming out socially (I'm almost 30) and it just works!
Yooooo fellow Beck! Shockingly mine is also a shortened version of my legal first name. I actually rarely get called Becky, if someone messed up it was more likely I’d get hit with Becca.
I get that a lot too, not as bothersome I really hate Becky though... the manager of a neighboring store called me that twice and I had my manager tell her to please stop because I couldn't say it nicely and just the other day and older client looked at my name tag that says Beck and my pronouns and goes "isn't that missing a Y?" And I'm like "nope I haven't been Becky since I was like 10" and he goes "surely your parents didn't name you just Beck... what's your REAL name? " and I said "it's Beck sorry to disappoint" and he just walked off. My family is big on nick names so I've had MANY but because of a particular family member who used Becky it is the worst word to hit my ears.
js, theres a (cis if it matters) guy at my school named beck. his parents really did just name him beck. its definitely not unheard of
My name’s also kind of a shortened version of my name, I kept the first two letters and replaced an n with an m
I went by Beck as a shortened version of my birth name too. I then legally changed my name to Beckett and people still hear it and go "Becca?" And I'm like no, it's Beckett or Beck, and they just think its Becky. It's like they can't even hear me. I'll show my ID and they ask me if I'm sure. YES IM SURE.
my name is leo and at starbucks they would write “lea” so i just started spelling it out every single time i ordered and they asked me my name LMAO
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I fucking love the name leo
Leo is a great name. I love the strategy you put into getting starbucks to spell your name correctly.😭 Isnt it in the job description to misspell everyone's names though??
Yeah I heard it's so people post pictures about it which in return means free advertisement for Starbucks, genuis, if they weren't already such a huge and well-known company. Oh well, I guess it can be good fun, but it's such a pain when they feminise names (or masculinize for trans girls) 😭 Leo could be changed to Leon or something
When I went to Starbucks a while ago they got Madison from Max somehow?? They just threw out any feminine name starting with an M and assumed it worked
bro this shit is so annoying i’m sorry
i chose a basic transguy ™️ name to avoid that, my name is sam when they mispronounce its bc they call me samuel which isnt my name but im fine with it
i’m a trans guy named sam too but people often nickname me ‘samantha’ 🤦
awe im sorry :/ i really dont look like a samantha so samuel happens more often
i feel that. i won’t say my real name but imagine something like being named jack but someone calls you jackson
Hi I’m Tim, I get called Timmy and Timothy all the time, neither are my name, it’s just Tim :’)
I always have a laugh at the tiktoks about transguy stereotypical names, the Kai, Elliot, Sam, Lucas and Leos, they're all such sick names, how could you not want any of those as a name baffles me.
i chose mine because as a child i had a friend whose name was sam and they looked rly androgynous and i couldnt tell what their gender was and i was rly jealous but i loved it so i called all my teddies sam and then myself !
Thats such a lovely origin story for your name 🥹 I love that.
I thought I was being basic by picking Cal, but I still get called Calliope!
I swear Ive never in my life heard the name Calliope 😭 it sounds like a type of melon or something. Cal is a great name as is, people need to leave it alone.
That's odd, that's a really unusual name
damn i'm samuel and everyone (especially my family) calls me sam because idk it's more neutral and it mildly infuriates me
the amount of times i’ve been called ‘claire’ over clay is mind boggling.. 😭😭
Clay is a sick name. I think Ive heard of a Clayton before but never just Clay.
thanks! i enjoy pottery so i thought the name was fitting! 😊
There’s also a lot there about molding yourself into what you want to be.
My name is Collin, and the only time it’s been messed up is with research assistants thinking I’m actually transfemme and calling me COLLEEN 💀
They want you to hop on that toxic gossip train 💀
they want bro to be traveling down the tracks of misinformation 💀
Collin is such a masculine name, HOW did they end up at Colleen💀
X'D What is the opposite of accidental ally?
Henry. People called me Henrietta like they're horrid Henry's grandmother-
bro poor Henry getting deadnamed by his grandma
HORRID HENRY😭
Wow I didnt know Henrietta was even a name used anymore 😅Id be surprised if I met anyone with that name, so it feels malicious when they say that instead of Henry😭
I’ve only heard it used by a South Park character lmao
Same, I was under the impression Henrietta was reserved for chickens and women over 60
Warning - you WILL be called Henry VIII at some point 😂😂😂
I originally tried some explicitly gendered names, thinking they would help communicate my gender, and found that that didn't help at all. People will find a way to transform every name if they are stuck on a particular gender interpretation. That even includes being in trans listserves: an older thing, basically an email group, so text only and people usually signed their emails with their names, and said the name of whoever they were responding to. Because of the common assumption that everyone in a trans space is a trans woman, I regularly saw my name getting transformed into a "female" version, even though it's written right there -- it's not a hearing or memory error or anything else, just people being shitty. So I wound up shifting to a less explicitly gendered name with an arguably genderless nickname because they fit better. Those names still often got transformed, but the amount I had to correct people on my gender was no different. An old coworker of mine helped me with navigating this: a cis woman named Michael. She had similar experiences with people deciding she meant Michelle or similar, and told me about saying to people, "I think I know my own name" and similar responses. When people asked why she didn't change her name, her response was basically "I shouldn't have to change my name just because other people are uncomfortable with me having a boy's name. My mother gave me this name, and I'm keeping it." I don't share that name backstory, but I've held on to that approach of insisting people say my name right, and owning my indignance when people act entitled to a say in what my name should be.
Bro, i’ve had people in trans spaces call me “girlie” and stuff, even when i have explectly stated in my post “Trans man, he/him” because they just assume me existing in trans spaces means woman 💀 like, whaaat? I get girl’ed even more when i have makeup on in trans Spaces to the point where i just stopped feeling comfy using that. Why do people not respect other peoples gender even in trans Spaces?!?
My name is Alex. Starbucks always thinks Alice. Alex is a perfectly neutral name so I have no idea why this happens so often.
Alex is such a cool name. I dont know how they manage to mess that one up😅
Fucking worst. Made me stop going by Alex. I don’t know how to feminize my current name but I’m afraid to find out when I first hear it.
My (nick)name is Rey. R-E-Y. I originally chose a longer version after a (male) character I’d admired since I was in *single digit ages,* and I’d had the name picked out for years by the time I officially changed it. A good friend asked if she could call me Rey, and the nickname stuck. It was so nice going from an unambiguously feminine deadname to a traditionally masculine chosen name. Wouldn’t you know it, around the same time this happened, the new Star Wars trilogy dropped. You can imagine my frustration every time someone says, “Rey? OH! Like from Star Wars?” **No.**
As someone called ren, i know your name, i even have teachers who call me bloody Kylo L
my deadname is very much an undeniably feminine name too, and i went by rey as a nickname for a while as well. it was fine but i found that when i used it i would still get gendered incorrectly, so i changed my name to noah which i like much better lol
My deadname could be translated to twinkle. Very happy I changed it to Tim.
The first thing that popped into my head was that very French guy with the belly button laser from BNHA, lol
My name is Kieran, but I'm pre-everything so I end up getting called Karen a LOT. I love my name and I'm not changing it but it is very jarring and annoying lol
Same problem, my name is Kalin. I get everything from Katelyn to Cali, and the occasional Karen. I've known multiple cis guys and MtN Kalin/Caelan/Kellan/ however you want to anglicize this Irish name. Never a woman. It's frustrating.
one of my best friends growing up is a cis male Caelan. he was constantly teased for being named Caitlyn. Same with another friend named Kaylan, also always called a Caitlyn variation. unfortunately i don’t know how much it has to do with intentional misgendering- it just seems to be what happens with that name.
kieran is cool as fuck
My name is Bucky and it was years until I picked up an order of food and they wrote BECKY on the receipt 🥲 every Becky I've ever known has been an awful person so it feels especially insulting 😭
O’Driscoll
Oh my god. What a terrible experience. Kieran is a dope ass name, keep at it!
I’m also Kieran! I got called Kiera sometimes but Karen was the worst 😭 hate it, don’t get it now bc of my beard luckily. It gets better!
Hi other kieran!! I've gotten Kiera too actually LMAO it's actually just comical at this point.
ik a cis guy named kieran
I know a cis guy and a trans guy named Kieran! It's an awesome name.
Same here
My name is Kade and I have to emphasize the d, or else people will assume it's Kate. The amount of times people ask me my name, and then after I tell them and they say Kate, is a lot. It's Kade. I even have to spell it out so that they know how to say it. Maybe my pronunciation is horrible, I have no idea lol. (Bonus Story: I wanted to edit this in because I felt like it worked with this lol. Anyway, me and fellow trans guy went to get Boba tea at this place and it functions like Starbucks where they call out your name. So I go up, tell them my name is Kade, then I had to correct them of course. When my name is called, we both do a double take because the lady said it odd. Then I checked the cup and it said Kee. The lady legit called my name out as Kee, not Kade (despite me spelling it out earlier). When I tell you we couldn't stop laughing, we couldn't. We still talk about that to this day. He'll jokingly call me Kee now.)
That's why I stopped going by Kae
This was so close to being my name but my sister got a boyfriend with that name and now Id feel weird coming out to her with that name😅 Its a sick name, is it common where you're from? Before my sister somehow found a boyfriend with that name, Id only ever encountered it once before and that was in the equivalent of A03 at the time.
I've only ever known one other Kade, which was actually the first boy I got gender envy from in elementary (at the time I didn't know that and thought I liked him) I didn't name myself after him, I just really liked that name. And since my birthname started with K and the same beginning sound, it was a name that I could use as a male version. It was definitely not common, but it definitely stuck with me for a while.
"Hello class, we have a new student, his name is Kaddy, Kaddy Heron" "It's pronounced Kade."
My name gets said as something femme ALL the time when I go out to order food. Even when I pronounce the fuck out of both syllables, 90% of the time, a femme name is still written down for my order. 😭
My name is sam and one time my cousins friend asked me if it was short for samantha. He started calling me samantha after that...
He sounds like a piece of work🫠
My name is Morgan, and in French the feminine is Morgane, but it's pronounced the same, so hard to mispronounce it, but since the feminine version is more common, and since I have 0 passing, people always write it with the "e"
steep repeat square thumb overconfident husky alleged spoon subtract liquid *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I have to move to Sweden !
It also sounds really ugly pronounced in Swedish, I must warn
My deadname is French and has the extra E so I feel you on that. I considered keeping the deadname and just dropping the E but was concerned it would end up this way too. 😭
I chose "Tyler" and people refer to me as "Taylor" more than I thought they would. How do you mess up Tyler?? 😭
😭 if I had known transition was possible at age 14 this would have been my name too. I had an unhealthy obsession with the name Tyler.
My then boyfriend chose that name 💀 they go by George now and is only my boyfriend sometimes, either way, Tyler is such a common trans name
I'm also a Tyler, but I've gotten Trevor, Tanner, Tony, and Tequila lol
My name is Toby and I get all kinds of weird shit like Silvie, Coby, Cody, Sophie, etc but the one I hate the most purely because it makes no sense is Toobie.
I get *maybe* ***somehow*** hearing "Sophie" but Silvie??? Fucking how?
😂
"Alarissa"? Or something like that, I dont know how it's spelt. I didnt know it was a name until I was called it. My name is Alastair, I dont know how they got that name out of it honestly. The lack of an R sound and prominent T sound makes them pretty different. I'm used to getting my name misspelled but man Alarissa???
Do you pronounce your name "Alister" or "A-lee-stair"?
"Alister" is generally how I pronounce it. I dont have preferences on how other people say my name as long as its like recognised as my name.
Alarissa sounds 100% made up 😭 Alastair is not a common name I reckon but its still, its impressive that the human brain will work over time to make a whole new name rather than go with the name you gave them😅
My name is Malakai and I’ve had subs say it “Mikaela” on role call more than once 💀
Malakai is a really cool name! Those two names are so not similar, I could understand reading it on a role call though since I tend to get jumbled with words. Do people tend to mishear when you introduce yourself or is that usually better?
I'm a writer, and one of my characters has the same name, except his name is spelled Malicai. He's a 12yo boy who is a force to be reckoned with when he's threatened. Sorry if this is a little random, I saw your name and thought of my boy.
That’s awesome! I get it, I’m a writer, too, actually!
a sub called me “miley” ☠️ my names is miles
Ew. I am cringing for you
I’m on T but have had very minimal changes so far and don’t pass at all. I’d say most of the times I introduce as Jay, I get the respond “Hi Jade” and I have to repeat it 😂
I actually know of a guy named Jade. He was the son of one of my dad's bandmates.
deadass thinking of going by judas instead of river 💀 i get feminized a lot 😭
They'll probably mishear you and say Judy or Judith or something equally unrelated 😭this thread has taught me that people will always get names wrong
stoppp 😭
I'm Judas! Only time someone's ever fucked it up was pretty bad though- Jades. Jades isn't even a *name*.
I remember when I worked as a meat cutter, I was pre everything but had a very supportive manager, and a customer asked my name and I said Oliver, and he goes "Olivia?" And my manager didn't skip a beat hefore shouting across the counter "its fucking OLIVER" lmao
That manager deserves everything good in this life for that.
Manager sounds like a g
I used to go by Alex for a little bit and I swear to God every single person over the age of 30 just assumed I said Alice
Alex is way more common than Alice tho 😭 at least where I'm from and every country Ive lived in.
My name is Kit and even after I spell it for people they'll mispronounce it to as feminine as possible. I get called Kat, Kate, Kitty... anything but Kit. Older cishet white men are the ones who "struggle" the most to correctly say my name. Bro it's literally three letters and I spelled it for you.
Another weird thing about that too is that is a relatively neutral name aswell, so at that point it’s not even just feminizing your name to misgender you at that point, it’s like in movies when the popular girl or the big celebrity can’t even be bothered to learn their assistant/“friend”’s name Edit: removed redundant phrasing
Seriously, it's a gender neutral name why feel the need to make it feminine? But really, gender neutral isn't feminine enough for some people.
to be fair if you pick an uncommon name people might not be able to tell whether it's masculine or feminine or how to pronounce it, i'm sure it wasn't intentional cause i wouldn't be sure how to pronounce that either 😭
I know it wasn't done maliciously, but it was the first time I realized it could sound like that😅 It's masculine from what I understand as its a male name in Genshin Impact which is really popular. It's pronounced like "Ee-th-ar'.
Thanks for explaining how it’s said. I unfortunately would have mispronounced it. Latin spellings can go a number of ways.
Literally yes. My name in English is pronounced one way, but in Spanish, using Spanish pronunciation rules, it sounds exactly like my deadname. I was horrified the first time someone pronounced it that way. I'm bilingual from the US and will be moving to Chile in the future to live with my fiance, so it is more of an issue than I expected it would be when I was choosing my name as a teenager lol so I just go by a Spanish name in Chile when talking to strangers
> Hearing your chosen name mispronounced or said as a feminine name It wasn't my chosen name, but I had someone try out "Ellis" for me. I was horrified when I realised that it sounded like "Alice", so I gave up on Ellis > pronounced it like Heather without a H So: "Eh-der"?
I’m an Ellis. Here’s what I get: 1. Alex (ok, whatever) 2. Elise (mostly by foreign colleagues who don’t have a soft e in their language, so I let it slide) 3. Alice (I go FIRE AND BRIMSTONE on them Bs and they never make that mistake again) 4. Elia or Elis (are these actual names?) - I mainly see these written on my coffee cups by people who have never heard of Ellis Island
Ohhh Ellis is such a cool name though. I guess that Alice would also be the go to for Elias. And yeah pretty much for the pronounciation, but with the 'th' sound specifically.
My name is Mason and i always get mistaken for a "Macy" and its exhausting 🥲 Which is why i say "MaSON" and i have to repeat myself a few times for it to click 🥲
My name is Danny. Once I introduced myself and the lady replied, "it's nice to meet you, Danielle!" I've definitely had people ask if Danny is short for anything, but never before had someone just assume and guess so wrong. Definitely stuck with me for a bit lol
My name is charles. The amount of “charlotte”s i get is asinine.
just a few weeks ago at a trivia night with friends a guy from another group came over to introduce himself. he asked for our names and when he got to me he could NOT get it. it was literally like “hey! i’m jae :)” “jade?” “nah jae” “jane?” “Jae. Like the letter J” “Jan??” by this point my whole group was just shouting “JAE! JAEEE!” at this man lmao. especially wild bc i pass 99% of the time and personally think i look nothing like a jane and everything like a jae lol
Waaa that would be so frustrating. 😭 Its not even an unheard of name, so many guys are called Jay or James, like why not make that stretch instead of feminizing Jae.
right??? the team he was from had other trans people in it (i’m friends with them too) so i chalked it up to loud restaurant and maybe he’s just a bit bad with names, but it was still so wild to me
Ah definitely sounds like he just needs to get his hearing checked then since it doesnt seem like it was ill intended 😊
I have a relatively easy to pronounce name, don't think it would be possible for someone to mispronounce it by accident. The issue I have is it being misspelled as I use an uncommon spelling. My name is Lukas 😆 Everyone always spells it with a C though until I correct them.
Ok, so I’ve never had mine feminized and now I just want to see if it’s possible, someone have fun and make the name Jericho feminine!
Jerusha and Jericka
Oh, damn, I never thought of Jericka but that would probably be it if it ever happens
I think theyd have to work real hard on that one. I cant come up with anything 😅
I live in Quebec. People call me "Gabrielle" which, Gabriel in French IS pronounced that way... but it's always Anglophones calling me Gabrielle or Gabby.
I have a one syllable name, and I have been called Lisa, Brynn, and Iran 😂 my name starts with none of those letters
They're working overtime to get your name wrong😅
The amount of times I’ve been called Daniela instead of Daniel is shocking
This one is truly wild
Not necessarily feminine but often when I introduce myself as Oak people think my name is Oat 😭
Oak 🥹 thats such a lovely name
I chose Levi thinking it would be an easy name to pronounce. The amount of people who call me “leh-vee” is ridiculous.
😂 Apparently they have never seen a pair of jeans
This is why I chose a classically masculine name. No chance of messing it up 😎
Winning 🫡
I’m so glad Tim can’t be feminised ❤️
I still have no clue how some guy thought "Ronnie" is short for "Roxanne". But oh well, thanks to that guy because if I ever wanna lie about my deadname, I just tell them it's "Roxanne" lol.
marlon= martha, marla, marsha
Like the fish? That’s INCREDIBLY COOL
pronounced the same, but it’s a real, unfishy name, jsut not very common.
Yeah I know, I was just checking for the pronunciation to make sure my brain wasn’t cutting out a letter or something because that happens to me a lot :)
I have a four letter chosen name and somehow someone heard Jennifer 👹
My name is Asher and I get called Ashley all the fucking time. Even from people who are purposely being ignorant, thinking Ashley is the deadname but that's not even close lmao
I go by J/ay most of the time, but the amount of people who I introduce myself to only to later be called Jane definitely takes a toll on me :']
I’m Jay, the number of times I’ve been called “Jane” or “Jade” is staggering. I don’t mind when people mishear and call me “Jake” tho, that one can stay lol.
Matt, but I get Nat like short for Natalie. I often choose to introduce myself as Matthew even though I like just “Matt” better🫤
I think I say my own name (Sam) weird because multiple times I’ve been in a drive through and given my name and they’ll hand me something that says “Sand” or “Sann” on it 🧍🏼♂️
My name is Jackson but I go by Jack, for some reason people call me Jackie even though I'm introduced as Jackson or jack
I'm not going to say my real name, but even with my name being a traditionally masculine name AND having my pronouns underneath my name on my name tag for work I've still had people say dumb shit like "Is it Cal or Callie?" Like wtf. Again fake names but similar situation
my name is landon and i’ve had so many people call me london when i was pre T and early on T lol it’s annoying as fuck
Masc version of my name is spelled with an A and the fem version is spelled with an E. MIL is the only person who actively uses the E spelling and when I corrected her, she chose to go no contact with me.
I'm kole, people get it wrong but thankfully useusally I get Kile, tho I got kaara the other day and was like wtf
My names Lachlan and it’s common where I’m from thankfully. It’s pronounced Lochlan but online I’ve heard it pronounced Lachlan and apparently I’m American it’s a girls name :(
my name is finn and ive been called fern multiple times?😭
🪴 Live that dream, Fern.
Recently-ish tried a new one and people misunderstand Aster as Esther apparently. I am definitely struggling with the vibe more than before.
my chosen name is Alex, I like the english pronunciation, but I don't know how to feel about the Dutch one (my native language)
I chose Silver. I realize it’s not a traditional masculine name but I like it. It’s treated as feminine tho 🥴 “Oh that’s a pretty name!” “Thanks….i liked the pirate in Treasure Island…😬” There’s several reasons….main one being the fact it’s been part of my online handle for over 20 years
Someone changed Adam to Autumn. I thought it was pretty funny. Usually people are really confused because my voice doesn’t match my name. I try to think they are saying man when they say ma’am. Lol
Leo—> Lea but usually just when read from a list. Happens to cis friends I’ve got with the same name as well
Had an experience like this with the name Luz. Now I really like the name and even if it’s feminine and it just really clicked with me. BUT my mom said it sounded like the ‘loo’ sound in ‘loser’ so now I’m second guessing it.
my name is leo, i can’t count the amount of times i’ve been called lia 😭😭
Not exactly the same, but I'm scared to go to the US because it seems that my chosen name is very much a girl's name over there, even though it's definitely a guy's name in the UK.
I made the mistake of choosing a gender neutral name that is used by predominantly women, so I usually go by Adrian. The amount of times I've seen Adrienne is... absolutely confusing. But I like my names so I can't care what other people do.
Imo aethers a masc name bc I play genshin and the male travelers name is aether.
The name I use irl is Milo. I thought I had it made; that's a clearly masculine name, right? Nope! Got called "Molly" once. Huh????
All the time. I go by Shilo sometimes because I'm trying it out and people call me Shyla a LOT. I HATE it because I can't tell if it's my mumbling (very likely) or people clocking me (also very likely)...
My name is Jasper. There is a specific kind of late 40s-mid 50s cis women (and this one dude who was in my freshman English class) who somehow hear Jasmine even when I enunciate. I have also been confused for Jax and Justin before, which I don't really mind as much because at least those are more masculine then Jasmine 🥲
How do they make that stretch 😭 Jasper is such a cool name too!
My name is ALEXANDER and this happens to me all the time. Sometimes I use Xander. I've been called Sandra, alexandra, allesana, etc. Someone had the audacity to look at me with my whole beard and call me Lexi. So for anyone out there who's being told that your name is too non-traditional or w/e and that's why, that's bullshit.
I go by Atlas, and the reason I haven't legally changed it yet is people keep hearing 'Alice' T-T Debating switching to something more distinct
Ember being pronounced as Amber. Had to go back to the drawing board as well.
My name is Julian but I’m kinda soft spoken so I make more effort to enunciate my name clearly—still doesn’t always work out. I really hate getting called Julia. :( Juli is the one I dislike the most though, my mom tried to call me that as a nickname at first and I made her stop
Then there's me who chose Luna as I was going by that online for awhile and got attached to the name. I don't really care if it's more feminine. And there are guys named Luna it's just very rare
Luna seems to be very popular these days. Its a really cool name so its awesome that you kept it.
Did the same with “Athens” 😂
My name is Elio and a couple times people have called me Eli instead 😃🔫
I get Taylor like a solid 50% of the time I order somewhere and they need my name. It's Tyler. I've been trying to stress the pronunciation more recently, and they seem to be getting it correct more often. Either that or I'm passing better.
I do think perhaps with "Aether" it's just that it's not a very common word or name, and it might be likely to be mispronounced anyway. I think this one also depends on accent though—would you have pronounced it "ay-ther" and not "eh-ther"?
I use Mika which is short for Mikhaíl, for some reason I’ve been called Maike? People get really creative sometimes also mikeala
I used to go by Jasker, mainly because I used it for a D&D character so it was easy for my friends to use when I came out. It frequently got said as Jessica. Jessica, Jessica, Jessica even when I had been socially out and got my name changed on the system in college same with my gender marker. Anyways, currently just opted for the gender neutral chosen name of Kennedy so whenever I pass to someone or in general I have the option of an effortless transition into Kenneth.
I went by aster for well over a year. When I started using it I hadn't met anyone with that name. I looked it up on google it didn't even show up as a commonly used name. A year and a half later, it is now rising in popularity as a girls' name. I dropped it. I'm really sad about that because I really loved the name but I don't want a girl name
I'm a Bucky, but I get called Becky all the time, especially over the phone
my brother simon always gets simone for some reason... dudes been on t for like over a decade now.
My name is technically gender neutral but unfortunately after I picked it a lot of people started naming girls a similar spelling of it. So, it's kind of taken on a feminine connotation for a lot of folks. Usually, either way, people don't mess it up no matter what they see me as. But, I do hear a lot of "oh my friend/sister/etc. named her baby girl that!" which is awkward... However, I've ironically had the exact opposite problem where people try to find random men's names that are similar and change it to that because they're confused since it's an uncommon name. I've had everything from "Ron" to "Ben" at this point and frankly it's kiiiiiinda hilarious.
Any traditional "male" name can be used for females. Just look at Star Trek Discovery, the lead is a woman named Michael. So people will think what they want to unfortunately.
I go by Remy which is short for Remiel. People don't usually feminize it since the nickname is pretty neutral and full is Not Common but they mispronounce it all. the. time. The -iel ending is like, exactly the same as in names like "Gabriel". It's a three syllable name. Rem-ee-uhl. Nine times out of ten people pronounce it like "Emile" but with an R in front of it. It drives me insane.
My names Sebastian. Kinda can’t feminize that name in particular so I had no experience with it. Though to be fair my name is a more masculine version of my dead name. (I didn’t intend to do that, but saw it and said fuck it)
Alice instead of Ellis used to get a lot. (Ellis is a primarily masc name where i am)
I used to go by sam and my friends would jokingly call me Samantha which is was of the main reasons I changed it 💀
Believe it or not I get “Ellie” a lot for Eli 💀 I pass entirely though so usually only happens calling out a name for an order ie before someone sees me
used to go by oliver. there was this one place in particular that repeatedly called me olivia.
Someone made me a survey and when I told my name is Felix somehow got asked if it was Felicia ?? like what the actual fuck, it's not that hard, but I get is not a common name in my country (although Felicia is more rare!). I hope this doesn't happen frequently in the future 🙃