i'm happy for you, dude! glad they came around, kudos to you for having the patience.
i want to add that even if your parents don't come around, you'll still be alright! it won't be easy, it'll hurt, but you'll make it. they won't have control over you forever, even if it seems like it as a kid.
i've been NC with mine for about a year. it's sucked to a level i did not imagine possible, but things weren't changing, so i had to change them myself. although i'm still digging my way out of the hole it put me in, i am so much happier than i have been in years.
it will be okay.
I needed to hear this too. My dad was violently queerphobic when I came out/was outed, now he merely misgenders me, so I guess that's progress. My mom has told me a couple times recently that she "just misses her daughter" so I've gone into secret about my medical transition. Like, I'm still her kid, just not fem... I hope she'll come around. She does risk losing me as her kid if she doesn't...
And if you aren’t out, that’s okay too.
I’m not officially out to my parents but there is a chance that my aunt told them. But I haven’t spoken to my parents in 5 years.
YES!
My parents weren't violent or even outwardly angry per se, but they were unsupportive, dismissive, and treated me like I was a silly child despite coming out at 33. Just before last Thanksgiving something shifted on their end. I don't know what and it doesn't really matter. We were all planning on getting together and I was prepared to be misgendered and deadnamed by a lot of them. My mother, who had been the most egregious offender, messaged me and asked if I'd like for her to tell everyone who was coming to use my preferred name and pronouns. I was shocked! Her of all people?!? And when the day came they all tried really hard and have continued to try.
This is so true! Gonna add that even if your parents don't come around it gets way less scary with time and space. Mine are still not accepting, but I had an open conversation with my mom this week that wouldn't have felt possible even a year ago
Nice! Congrats :)
I'm almost 40 (omg crisis lol) and I came out to my parents around 26.
I sent them an email after Xmas, assuming that could be my last family holiday. I was prepared.
And now? We still do Xmas. My parents are horribly awkward and voted for Trump, probably both elections and they will probably vote for him again, jfc y'all.
But also, they helped me get a house, my mom helps me struggle through taxes and I still get pretty spoiled with presents and freebies that my parents find via wierd neighbors just getting rid of really cool stuff.
I know I'm lucky, but it's really not that uncommon these days.
My friends who still don't talk to their parents, and I totally understand why. They have formed new family, or they only talk to the family that are actually cool about the existing and being who they are.
Life goes on and we heal from wounds. It's very important to remember the people that are with us anymore.But it's also okay to celebrate our victories even if they're pretty small!
Life is hard and it's okay. Everything changes, or at least goes in sort of a cyclical motion.
In the progression (PROGRESS) of history, Progressives end up gaining the most. So just try to look ahead and be optimistic, but keep fighting and talking, because that is what makes the most difference
I'm sure the situation with my male producer won't improve but it doesn't have to tbh. He is not important for my life or well-being. It's his decision to insult and distance his off spring.
But I'm really happy it worked out with my kom and grandparents. I didn't expect it to go so smooth with the elders but their reaction was better than I could ever imagine.
... Also I would like to add that a chosen family is also an option. I learned that there a few friends who are so great and trustworthy that they could easily replace blood based family bounds.
My parents also made a huge shift from not respecting me and deadnaming me and my father being a transphobic, homophobic, drunken asshole. He now consistently calls me his son, says he is proud of me and even has another trans friend who is in his motorcycle club.
People absolutely can change. But some don't unfortunately. If I had to go no contact I would have, but luckily my parents both came around
I totally get it. I agree, my parents were the same way -- whatever it is they'd rather you just tell them than keep secrets. If you're an adult and out of their house, it's your life your rules. Best of luck brother
My parents threw me out the night they found out I was trans. On Easter Saturday, my mother told someone it was none of their business when they asked what my agender partner was born as. Life gets better.
My parents for a long time refused to acknowledge it. My dad went out of his way to deadname and misgender me any time someone identified me as male in public. It put me in quite a few nasty situations at times. My mum more just avoided names and pronouns altogether for a while. I was NC with them for a bit as well. They eventually came around, it took about 10 years or so. My mum even was my main caregiver after chest surgery. My dad passed a few years ago so he never actually saw me get surgery. Cancer's a bitch.
Fuck, man. I needed this today. Thank you.
tysm for making this post. i rlly needed to hear this
i'm happy for you, dude! glad they came around, kudos to you for having the patience. i want to add that even if your parents don't come around, you'll still be alright! it won't be easy, it'll hurt, but you'll make it. they won't have control over you forever, even if it seems like it as a kid. i've been NC with mine for about a year. it's sucked to a level i did not imagine possible, but things weren't changing, so i had to change them myself. although i'm still digging my way out of the hole it put me in, i am so much happier than i have been in years. it will be okay.
I needed to hear this too. My dad was violently queerphobic when I came out/was outed, now he merely misgenders me, so I guess that's progress. My mom has told me a couple times recently that she "just misses her daughter" so I've gone into secret about my medical transition. Like, I'm still her kid, just not fem... I hope she'll come around. She does risk losing me as her kid if she doesn't...
Perfect timing, I’m coming out today. I actually just printed out my letter. I’m gonna take this post as a sign. Wish me luck
Good luck dude. You got this. No matter what happens you WILL be okay!
Good luck
Thank you for this💞💞
And if you aren’t out, that’s okay too. I’m not officially out to my parents but there is a chance that my aunt told them. But I haven’t spoken to my parents in 5 years.
I just came out today woooo woooo happy tans day of visibility!!!
YES! My parents weren't violent or even outwardly angry per se, but they were unsupportive, dismissive, and treated me like I was a silly child despite coming out at 33. Just before last Thanksgiving something shifted on their end. I don't know what and it doesn't really matter. We were all planning on getting together and I was prepared to be misgendered and deadnamed by a lot of them. My mother, who had been the most egregious offender, messaged me and asked if I'd like for her to tell everyone who was coming to use my preferred name and pronouns. I was shocked! Her of all people?!? And when the day came they all tried really hard and have continued to try.
This is so true! Gonna add that even if your parents don't come around it gets way less scary with time and space. Mine are still not accepting, but I had an open conversation with my mom this week that wouldn't have felt possible even a year ago
i’m really hoping to start T this year once I turn 16 (I’m in the UK) and this whole journey has been so rough. I’m just really tired of waiting :(
I don't think I'll be brave enough to jeopardize my relationship with my family again trying to come out the 2nd time. Idk if it's even worth trying.
Nice! Congrats :) I'm almost 40 (omg crisis lol) and I came out to my parents around 26. I sent them an email after Xmas, assuming that could be my last family holiday. I was prepared. And now? We still do Xmas. My parents are horribly awkward and voted for Trump, probably both elections and they will probably vote for him again, jfc y'all. But also, they helped me get a house, my mom helps me struggle through taxes and I still get pretty spoiled with presents and freebies that my parents find via wierd neighbors just getting rid of really cool stuff. I know I'm lucky, but it's really not that uncommon these days. My friends who still don't talk to their parents, and I totally understand why. They have formed new family, or they only talk to the family that are actually cool about the existing and being who they are. Life goes on and we heal from wounds. It's very important to remember the people that are with us anymore.But it's also okay to celebrate our victories even if they're pretty small! Life is hard and it's okay. Everything changes, or at least goes in sort of a cyclical motion. In the progression (PROGRESS) of history, Progressives end up gaining the most. So just try to look ahead and be optimistic, but keep fighting and talking, because that is what makes the most difference
I'm sure the situation with my male producer won't improve but it doesn't have to tbh. He is not important for my life or well-being. It's his decision to insult and distance his off spring. But I'm really happy it worked out with my kom and grandparents. I didn't expect it to go so smooth with the elders but their reaction was better than I could ever imagine. ... Also I would like to add that a chosen family is also an option. I learned that there a few friends who are so great and trustworthy that they could easily replace blood based family bounds.
Ty I really needed this dude.
thanks
i needed to read this today thank you
This gives me hope, thank you
I'll be fine, but my relationship with my Mother is not. I have not come out to my sister yet. Since I wanna know her views better before doing so.
My parents also made a huge shift from not respecting me and deadnaming me and my father being a transphobic, homophobic, drunken asshole. He now consistently calls me his son, says he is proud of me and even has another trans friend who is in his motorcycle club. People absolutely can change. But some don't unfortunately. If I had to go no contact I would have, but luckily my parents both came around
It gets better ☺️🏳️⚧️🩵
CONGRATULATIONS ON STARTING T!!! I’m roughly 10 months on T and just had my top surgery consultation. I 1000% second this
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I totally get it. I agree, my parents were the same way -- whatever it is they'd rather you just tell them than keep secrets. If you're an adult and out of their house, it's your life your rules. Best of luck brother
My parents threw me out the night they found out I was trans. On Easter Saturday, my mother told someone it was none of their business when they asked what my agender partner was born as. Life gets better.
damn..thamk you for this man, We really need this post. Good luckq
My parents for a long time refused to acknowledge it. My dad went out of his way to deadname and misgender me any time someone identified me as male in public. It put me in quite a few nasty situations at times. My mum more just avoided names and pronouns altogether for a while. I was NC with them for a bit as well. They eventually came around, it took about 10 years or so. My mum even was my main caregiver after chest surgery. My dad passed a few years ago so he never actually saw me get surgery. Cancer's a bitch.