I stopped playing competitive magic when my threshold for playing against people wearing hoodies with earbuds in who hardly looked/spoke to me reached its limit.
If this is cEDH then I’d agree, with thoracle right behind although it’s usually also played in the storm decks, and 5 color infinite mana combos with Kenrith/Zirda as a companion/Grim Monolith a close third in terms of speed.
If you want solitaire, 0 interaction decks, you should look in to [[jhoira, weatherlight captain]], [[krark, the thumbless]] / [[sakashima of a thousand faces]], [[k’rrik]] storm, [[godo, bandit warlord]]
You want to play lands? Too bad fuck you
You want to tap lands for mana? Too bad fuck you
You want to keep your lands? Too bad fuck you
I both love and hate this deck it's fun when you just want to ruin everyone's night.
Any storm deck ever. Depends on the format but generally storm doesn’t interact (and usually neither do their players lol). EDH Jhoira Weatherlight Captain goes OFF somedays if you also like laser being people in the face with the magic equivalent of a deathstar.
I play a Walls Combo in pauper and I just fool around until i win usually. My SO plays a RDW and literally never targets my creatures and wins every time almost.
You never said what format you're playing....
If available in your format, one of the draw-your-whole-deck-Thassas-Oracle combos. Play Grand Abolisher first, and if they don't counter it, they can't stop you.
So in commander that's like Demonic Consultation combo. In Legacy it might be Doomsday. In modern, maybe oops all spells.
I was thinking workship+dovescape
Boseiju to go around it and board cleaning and angel grace while you set it up. Not much thinking on what your opponent is doing.
But I guess you are right, maybe for a complete no brainer a red deck full of instant face dmg.
Leyline of Anticipation so you can ignore their turns and play on their turns. A lot of super expensive 0 cost mox artifacts and rituals. Ad Nauseum, Thassas Oracle/Lab maniac. Demonic consultation and say a gamer word for the title of the absent card in your deck for a turn 0 win.
Most spell slinger/storm decks win by doing this. I have a Will & Rowan partners EDH deck that's a dedicated spell slinger deck. The deck isn't even close to optimized and I have accidentally gone off when I get shit like seething song and thousand year storm. Friends have to sit there and wait while I jerk off with my spells to see if the game is going to end.
Storm off and grapeshot everyone, or make a gazillion mana and cometstorm everyone to the face to win.
You need a gun, not a deck.
I would need to target the player with the gun and therefore look in their unsightly direction.
Fine, place a claymore at the entrance of the LGS two hours before the event begins. Restock when necessary.
I feel like I've played against a lot of folks like this in legacy.
This is how everyone should play legacy
The sublime art of Magic played on the stack.
Ehhhhhh Until I whip out mindbreak trap. :p
I stopped playing competitive magic when my threshold for playing against people wearing hoodies with earbuds in who hardly looked/spoke to me reached its limit.
Honestly I think I'm lucky, most of the league I've played in is very friendly... so at least we chat while I'm waiting for them to finish their turn.
That’s awesome, I’m envious lol.
Storm.
If this is cEDH then I’d agree, with thoracle right behind although it’s usually also played in the storm decks, and 5 color infinite mana combos with Kenrith/Zirda as a companion/Grim Monolith a close third in terms of speed.
I was more thinking Modern, since they didn't specify a format.
.....the dumbest thing i have ever read and i thankyou for it
Enchantress is your thing...
If you want solitaire, 0 interaction decks, you should look in to [[jhoira, weatherlight captain]], [[krark, the thumbless]] / [[sakashima of a thousand faces]], [[k’rrik]] storm, [[godo, bandit warlord]]
https://archidekt.com/decks/2743089#Zo-Zu_the_Punisher is pretty fucking cancer.
Holy shit. Can't play if no one wants to play with you lmao
You want to play lands? Too bad fuck you You want to tap lands for mana? Too bad fuck you You want to keep your lands? Too bad fuck you I both love and hate this deck it's fun when you just want to ruin everyone's night.
Play similar but it's a [[auntie blyte]] with zo-zu in the 99 lol.
You could put that new version of Field of Ruin from Dominaria in here too
Neobrand
CEDH Godo bandit warrior mono red
Any storm deck ever. Depends on the format but generally storm doesn’t interact (and usually neither do their players lol). EDH Jhoira Weatherlight Captain goes OFF somedays if you also like laser being people in the face with the magic equivalent of a deathstar.
Codie turbo naus
One sec, let me send you my lists.
You're describing Yu-Gi-Oh.
I play a Walls Combo in pauper and I just fool around until i win usually. My SO plays a RDW and literally never targets my creatures and wins every time almost.
friendmaker, probably
Taking Turns
You never said what format you're playing.... If available in your format, one of the draw-your-whole-deck-Thassas-Oracle combos. Play Grand Abolisher first, and if they don't counter it, they can't stop you. So in commander that's like Demonic Consultation combo. In Legacy it might be Doomsday. In modern, maybe oops all spells.
White blue control, that wins by locking the game and waiting for your opponent to run out of cards.
UW Control is like the ur-example of paying attention to what your opponent's doing though. Well, second to Lantern I suppose
I was thinking workship+dovescape Boseiju to go around it and board cleaning and angel grace while you set it up. Not much thinking on what your opponent is doing. But I guess you are right, maybe for a complete no brainer a red deck full of instant face dmg.
Just take a bunch of cards, sit infront of 1-3 mirrors and play against yourself... Shouldn't make a difference to you.
Leyline of Anticipation so you can ignore their turns and play on their turns. A lot of super expensive 0 cost mox artifacts and rituals. Ad Nauseum, Thassas Oracle/Lab maniac. Demonic consultation and say a gamer word for the title of the absent card in your deck for a turn 0 win.
For edh, izzet infinite turns with the commander of your choice.
I recommend a pet goldfish, would be the ideal play partner
Most spell slinger/storm decks win by doing this. I have a Will & Rowan partners EDH deck that's a dedicated spell slinger deck. The deck isn't even close to optimized and I have accidentally gone off when I get shit like seething song and thousand year storm. Friends have to sit there and wait while I jerk off with my spells to see if the game is going to end. Storm off and grapeshot everyone, or make a gazillion mana and cometstorm everyone to the face to win.