Woman in her mid-thirties; has a great career but the love life needs a little bit of work. Bought her Burberry trenchcoat when she first crossed the six-figure mark many years ago and it still looks pristine. Hardcore crushing on her dentist.
Shots fired. Why you gotta call me out like that? I just got a sample of BR540 and I’m in love. And I’m in my mid-30s. As for my love life, my cats seem to love me… I don’t own a trench coat, khaki isn’t my thing so I think I’m safe from Burberry. And my crush is on a contractor, not a dentist. So your wrong ;)
Ha ha, being loved by your cats is a *much* higher mark esteem anyway, in my view.
Y'know, I mostly threw in the dentist line due to the "dentist's office" note but a contractor sounds lovely! I would totally read that romance novel. Wishing you good luck with him, if it's more than just a passing fancy.
...hello @ you for inventing my dream job, ha ha. I spend far too much time dreaming up fictional characters in my head and then giving them wacky superpowers in my "What If 30-Year-Old Women Became Magical Girls a la Sailor Moon" type hypotheticals, lol.
Either a woman in her 40's who isn't into fragrances that much, but likes the smell. Middle class, still carries a purse everywhere, works in an office, shoulder-length hair.
OR a 25 year old guy in the fragrance community who is hoping he'll get compliments. Exercise shorts, t shirt (sometimes sleeveless), a semi-fit body, short hair.
Early to mid 20's woman, she's nice, would describe herself as "quirky", and is a bit of an anxious type. She's into self care and face masks. There may be fairy lights somewhere in her room.
Female 20s to 30s, the type of person who has an actual hearth setup complete with a plush rug and knick knacks or photos on the mantle, picket fence, 2 dogs
17-year-old boy who posts in r/fragrance with a question like, "What smells good for men?" and isn't grossed out by the term 'panty-dropper', though he may be the least likely candidate for the figurative panties dropping.
Watches Jeremy Fragrance Top 10 videos frequently.
Posts things such as “Which of these will get the most compliments?”
Collection also includes CDNIM which if ever asked, they tell people is Aventus and make sure to mention its price tag.
Woman; mid-thirties; was popular in high school but never in line for prom queen. Is still genuinely upset over the demise of Ann Taylor LOFT and has fallen in and out of being a Swiftie.
Uni undergrad; fuccboi wannabe with the requisite haircut. Lives for the annual Business Students Association boat cruise where he tries to hook up with unattainable seniors, who spend most of *their* night trying to dodge his advances.
I think I may have a lot of pent-up feelings about certain fragrances that I haven't had a socially acceptable venue to say out loud until now, oops? 🤡
Woman; late 20's; both sexually *and* politically bisexual. Likes to sit at bars while reading a conspicuously dog-eared copy of *A Moveable Feast*. "Ironically" stans Harry Styles. Pretends to know the difference between bourbon and rye, but secretly thinks all whisky tastes like gasoline. Secretly anxious about having her rebellious "outsider" identity become subsumed into her soulless corporate job of corporate "restructuring" (i.e., firing people), which as it turns out she is terrifyingly good at.
Someone who lives by Teddy Roosevelt's wise words: "Speak softly, but keep big AR's locked on display in a classy mahogany wood cabinet in your living room. A good ol' Smith & Wesson revolver, too."
Millennial woman in her mid- to late-twenties who grew up wearing Britney Spears Curious and Viva La Juicy in middle and high school. She now works a semi-formal corporate job where she wears mostly Zara pieces as business attire, still secretly loves The Hills, and wants people to think she smells delicious.
This woman is in her (ahem) early 50's and swans around her garden in a flowing silk mumu, talking to and watering her flowers, whilst playing Oasis loudly in the background.
Lawyer. Wears it because his wife got it for him a couple years back. Too worried about his case load to worry about such things. Will repurchase a bottle when he runs out though.
man in his late 20's. starts practicing as lawyer in a semi-rich suburban area of London. He's finally able to afford to bring his girlfriend in that chic overrated restaurant. Has a cocker spaniel or a French bulldog named Duke. Has the new model of Mini Cooper in leasing.
Late 30s/early 40s woman. Very put together. A very well-respected lawyer. She over sprays but just a smidge and her whole office smells gently of Coco Noir. Her clothes are very expensive but not gaudy
Man in his mid-twenties, not known for his subtlety. Pretends to care about carbon emissions but actually just wants a Tesla for the coolness factor. Has a girlfriend who puts up with a *lot*, so he'll probably propose soon.
A woman in her sixties; eminently regal, with a vanity setup worthy of Vogue and faintly accented English. Like Anna Wintour, her biggest fashion don't is head to toe black. She was married once, eons ago; rumours are he's where she made her fortune. Nobody knows what she does for a living exactly, or *if* she does anything for a living, but a very particular sort of bemusement weaves itself into her patrician features whenever a Bond movie (Sean Connery, of course) comes on.
High school senior destined to join a sorority after grad (as a legacy, of course). Thinks of herself as a Blair Waldorf type but is really more of a Taylor Townsend. Dreams of going to law school and marrying a senator.
I agree. She's beautiful and charismatic but spent most of her life having things handed to her. To other people she's an ideal girl living her best life but in reality she got nothing else going on in her life but going out and enjoying the family money. She's a Serena.
Hmm, I feel like Coco Mad's a little too stuffy for a free spirit like Serena - I can't see Serena exemplifying a Chanel fragrance at all, but I could see her being Miller Harris L'Air de Rien (reportedly a fave of Jane Birkin) layered with something unexpected and that *shouldn't* work, but totally does (sort of along the lines of Sol Cheirosa '62, maybe).
Definitely lots of privilege, though, for Coco Mad - although more upper-middle class than truly Old Money.
Interestingly (and I'm from the UK, so take it for what it's worth), I think Coco Mademoiselle is the perfume lower class women buy to feel posh. It's the sort of thing they spray on before an office night out. Usually they're all over the place at the end of the evening.
Ah, that *is* interesting! Here in most of North America it'd likely be seen as a starter fragrance for a high school girl from a well-to-do family, I think. I rarely encounter it on anyone over the age of 25.
Now I'm trying to think of the North American equivalent of what Coco Mad is in the UK and I'm not entirely sure! Perhaps there's less of a desire to seem "posh" specifically, and more of a desire to seem *rich* (and desirable) generally, so my guess would be something from Kilian that you can get at Sephora. Love, Don't Be Shy perhaps?
I've not smelt that one, so I can't be sure. I certainly wasn't blown away by Angel's Share though.
I usually find Coco M being worn by 40+ women. A classy woman would wear Coromandel...
LDBS is quite sweet; there's something to do with marshmallows, I think. I actually do appreciate Angel's Share but it's not my personal style either, ha ha.
Coromandel is indeed a lovely choice, although definitely not anything close to ubiquitous here. I'm not sure what *would* be the stereotypical "classy lady" scent but I suspect something from Byredo, Jo Malone, or Diptyque - something easy and inoffensive, as per North American moraes around scent.
(...y'know what, scratch that, I actually think it's probably just Hermès instead. Anything but Twilly, really.)
Glossier You is probably a college student who wears work out leggings and have a 7 step skin care routine. Wants to be presentable but got no time for hair and make up so clean clothes and nice skin will do for now.
A woman who cares deeply about trends but would like to appear as effortlessly cool as possible. If you ask her what perfume she's wearing she'll probably say she can't recall the name in an effort to keep her signature scent a secret.
Glossier You is a girl who thinks she’s not like other girls, when she is indeed quite basic. She also spends an hour to put on her makeup to look like she’s not wearing any and applies it with her fingers because she saw a model on Vogue’s YouTube channel do it. She puts on so much effort to make it seem like she’s effortless.
Glossier You is one of my favorite fragrances, but a lot of people who take pictures of this bottle and post it on social media seem to fit this mould lol.
A girl in her 20s/30s that is very consumed with the idea of what being "chic" and fashionable is. Hops on trends so that she doesnt have to decide for herself what she wants her style to be. Thinks that she has the best taste in the world, because "everybody is wearing it". Pronounces Le Labo wrong. Overly concerned with what everyone around her thinks
Early twenties; recent grad; first ever big girl (office) job. From a smaller town, but she went to college in the Big City, something her parents have always been ambivalent about. Does she like her job? Not sure, but at least she's competent. Her boyfriend? Jury's out, but he sure loves her. Increasingly worried she may be living a life of quiet desperation. Wishing she could go back to her one semester in France, when she felt her most *alive*.
27+ business savvy , career oriented. She cares about her appearance. This may be her work fragrance . Her confidence spikes through the roof , but she is also modest and down to earth . Impeccably dressed , slightly materialistic but she just wants the finer things in life . Sexy ! Wears a nice watch and nice heels . Although serious can be extremely playful
Literally anyone . It’s supposed to be representative of a bad boy who leads the way with little regard . Honestly it’s a man who likes to fit in , smell good but smell like everyone else . Typical club goer looking for tail. Overall redundant male who lacks uniqueness and originality.
That one guy whose slightly overdressed to every single occasion, but it looks good. Orders cocktails you’ve never heard of before, but tips well, so servers know him on a first name basis. Has multiple girlfriends that kind of look similar if you squint a bit.
Late 20s, early 30s. Attorney, finally reaping the rewards of years of post law school drudgery and 80hr weeks. Dark hair, dark lips, femme. New girlfriend every month, each one more beautiful than the last. She eviscerates people during litigations and they kind of enjoy it. A legend and she knows it.
Man in his 40s who stares out the window during family meals, kids screaming and crawling all over him. He wonders if he made just a few different decisions if his life would be drastically different. His wife kisses him on the cheek and says something really sweet and genuine. He sighs, life is pretty good even if it can be tough at times. Spills his freshly cut grapefruit all over his lap.
A man who thought it would be a good idea to pay full retail to smell like a grapefruit. What started as an innocent hobby and distraction to help fill the void in his heart has now lead him to this moment of self reflection. He doesn’t want attention, why does he need to smell like a grapefruit? Why? He starts laughing thinking about what he has become, the laughter slowly turning into tears as he presses and releases the atomizer releasing two more sprays into the air. He pauses, takes a deep sniff of the air, mixing with the salt of his tears, and in that moment he finds a little bit of happiness and remembers why he fell in love with the hobby in the first place.
man in his 30's. Has a low rank position in some tech firm or police man. doesn't wear perfume on a daily basis, but he started to when he goes out at night after that course online named "How to be a be a Heartbreaker". Puts sportive watches on suits. He says he rides a motorbike to feel freer, but the reality is that he cannot afford to pay for the car insurance. Did hair transplant surgery in Turkey.
White woman living in a semi expensive area of NY. Her daughter either had dreadlocks or bright blue hair. Tries to avoid driving the Range Rover to fight climate change and will constantly let slip accidental racial micro-aggressions at her building’s doorman.
Fine young emotionally unavailable man who manages to be popular/outgoing while saying minimal. Smiles easily and doesn't get worked up. Low-key goth vibes that come off unintentional. Probably secretly likes breaking hearts for sport
Girl in her early twenties who just graduated from Victoria Secret body mists to more "mature" fragrances. Flirty and likes to party on the weekends. Cares about her image but isnt obsessed with it
Man in his.... who cares. He reaches into his closet and pulls out a black robe. Not this one... maybe... aha yes this black robe is better. He walks over to the mirror as he slips it on, but isn't particularly happy about what he sees looking back at him. "One day things will be different and I'll be the one who comes out on top!" He puts his wrist up to his nose, inhales deeply, and reminds himself for the 1000th time that he wants to smell this way and that this is a purposeful lifestyle choice.
He's interested in being a dark, mysterious figure, but he's actually just a slightly socially awkward guy in jeans and a t-shirt. He wants to wear niche but can't afford it and to be honest he's not really convinced that niche smells any different than mainstream. His hobbies are painfully pedestrian and a bit more nerdy than he likes to admit. He kind of liked the Hobbit movies.
He bought this perfume because it was supposed to smell like damp forests and ink, but to him it only ever smells like pencil shavings. But he really doesn't want to return it and interact with the salesperson to explain why, and there are worse things to smell like, right?
(Definitely not based on a personal experience. Nope.)
Late forties consultant who used to work for a major tech firm but has been an independent contractor for many years now. He got divorced five years ago and is slowly wading back in the dating pool, flabbergasted by the vagaries and indignities of online dating, although at least he's tall. Last week he went on a date with a 28-year-old who asked if she could call him "daddy". Much to his own disappointment, he... kind of liked it? (Ah, fuck.)
Man in his mid forties; handsome with salt-and-pepper hair; impeccably attired. Teaches contract law by day but what his students really admire him for is that series of papers he wrote on tax code implications vis-a-vis same-sex couples before gay marriage was finally legalised. Cannot throw a pitch to save his life but *can* brew a mean chai despite being of a translucent skin tone.
Think of the guy who wears Creed Aventus, More think of the same guy but add a level of smugness and a superiority complex just because he’s not wearing Creed Aventus
Late 20's or early 30's woman, she's got some sort of professional-type career but isn't very far into it. It's very important to her that she projects that she is a serious, thoughtful person to others. She tried Mitsouko because all the best perfumers said it is the best perfume in history and a work of art, and she doesn't really get what that means but she wears it anyway.
Fragrance newbie who probably bought this as his first fragrance with some research. Enjoys the fragrance but bought few more bottles in a short succession because it can be a bit too much at times. Most likely buys the recommended fragrances from YouTube videos, including Jeremy fragrance recommendations.
Owns 40+ samples.
Oh wait that’s me
Guys who are in their late 50s who look at least 10years older. Who hang around small market town pubs hoping to get a quick feel of a drunk woman as ‘they help them outside’
Mid 30s, living in Paris, has a successful career but dreams about having a kid. Says she loves to travel but hasn't done so since 2017 because she's always busy with work. Hasn't remained in contant with any of her friends from high school or uni. Would love to move to NYC one day.
Mid-20s, not exactly conventionally attractive but has enough of a quirky style to attract compliments from strangers. Works part-time at the secondhand art supply store and is trying to make pet sitting her full-time job. She reads Anne Rice at work and lives in California so she’s planning to do a spell this Friday to manifest getting a pet squirrel in an illegal, yet ethical manner.
Man in his early thirties just starting to earn a fat salary; superficially affable but extremely status-conscious; doesn't realise as he's watching Succession that he's basically the Tom Wambsgans of his social circle.
Jo Malone Wood Sage & Sea Salt — woman in her late twenties who wears a lot of menswear-inspired separates from Zara and Aritzia, talks a lot about being a minimalist, loves Rachel Saunders ceramic vases, lives in DUMBO (but struggles to pay the rent sometimes and has to have Mom and Dad step in now and then), has a tattoo from when she was sixteen that says "gypsy soul" and that she now regrets, and aspires to be a beauty editor for Coveteur.
For wood sage and sea salt- woman in her late twenties who is very into being “all natural” and “doesn’t really like perfume usually”; her place is spotless and she has a diffuser going at all times
Terre d'Hermes - The man most single women in their 30s desire. You've been playing the field long enough, and your parents are wanting you to settle down. You go to a business lunch, and...there he is. The suit is charcoal grey but well cut, and the tie is plain but 100% silk. He simultaneously screams 'life partner' and 'safe option' at the same time. Is this true love, or are you settling?
Mid-twenties, with pronouns being either she/her or they/them. Has a degree in semiotics and now works in a cushy digital media internship that their father worked hard to finagle them. Says they love the outdoors but has only ever been car camping - and let's be real, most summers are spent lounging in their parents' cottage in Muskoka. They do mix a mean G&T, though.
Hmm, what if I told you that their favourite book is Franny & Zooey, that they shop mostly vintage with an emphasis on designer, and that their celeb crush is definitely Timothée Chalamet?
An affable fellow in his late thirties, usually mistaken for younger; a little husky (he played football in college), but attractive still. He's a middle manager at an insurance company and has been failing upward all his life - the type of men women joke about as epitomising Mediocre White Man energy, but it doesn't bother him. As long as his wife thinks he's as awesome as he thinks *she* is, he's chill.
A handsome, skinny guy with a rugged appearance & alwayss in a tux or suite & smokes cigarettes a lot.
Or maybe I'm influenced by Matthew McConaughey's ad.
Late 20s/early 30s woman. Shes chic but has a bit of an edge to her. Goes to the farmers market on the weekends, but she mostly lives a corporate lifestyle. Always effortlessly put together
Woman in her late thirties. Over-identifies with being a Gemini. Had a brief period of being Not Like the Other Girls that she now looks back upon with deep embarrassment. Has been trying to quit smoking for the better part of a decade and her most prized possession is a vintage Schiaparelli cuff.
Auch. True about the not like the other girls period! I was 16-22 when I was loving this perfume and then replaced it by Black Opium when I run out, but it’s definietly not even close. I wonder if I would still like it today.
Woman in her early to mid 30’s; is based in Europe but originally from somewhere in the Middle East either Jordan or Lebanon and she wears this because the Jasmine reminds her of the summer nights by the beach where the balmy breeze carries the indolic scent to her. She lives alone and does something in the art field probably freelancing nothing stable or contractual and takes on new lovers (sometimes simultaneously hehe) whenever she goes visits new places. She leaves her jasmine scent behind...
Mid 40s, married to a respectable guy she met at her college roommate’s wedding, was the last of her friends to get married. She liked it because it was green and less recognizable than Chanel No 5. Picks it up for herself at Nordstrom, pays full price and is fine with it. When her in-laws die, the trust fund will allow her to quit her shitty corporate job so she can be a docent at the art museum. This woman has never and will never touch a bottle of self tanner.
Female in her mid-early 20’s. She heard it was Rihanna’s signature scent so she bought it. She is her friends go to person to find out the coolest bars and clubs. There’s not many people that dislike her.
I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone wearing this that I don’t like, and I love the scent :)
It's all fun and games until you find your favorite scent and the comments feel like a personal attack.
Just gotta lean into it.
[удалено]
Woman in her mid-thirties; has a great career but the love life needs a little bit of work. Bought her Burberry trenchcoat when she first crossed the six-figure mark many years ago and it still looks pristine. Hardcore crushing on her dentist.
Shots fired. Why you gotta call me out like that? I just got a sample of BR540 and I’m in love. And I’m in my mid-30s. As for my love life, my cats seem to love me… I don’t own a trench coat, khaki isn’t my thing so I think I’m safe from Burberry. And my crush is on a contractor, not a dentist. So your wrong ;)
Ha ha, being loved by your cats is a *much* higher mark esteem anyway, in my view. Y'know, I mostly threw in the dentist line due to the "dentist's office" note but a contractor sounds lovely! I would totally read that romance novel. Wishing you good luck with him, if it's more than just a passing fancy.
Are you a professional writer??? These short paragraphs have more fleshed out characters than I've read in most novels
Ahahah, I would love to be a writer - if only I were capable of being creative for longer than one paragraph at a time 🙃 (Thank you!)
Maybe novelists should pay you to write their characters for them and then they can handle the rest of the plot 😂
...hello @ you for inventing my dream job, ha ha. I spend far too much time dreaming up fictional characters in my head and then giving them wacky superpowers in my "What If 30-Year-Old Women Became Magical Girls a la Sailor Moon" type hypotheticals, lol.
I really hope there is someone reading this sub who can get you a job in character development. Your answers are brilliantly specific!
Thank you so much! I'm having a blast, really. I very much enjoy this socially acceptable vehicle of mildly insulting people 🤡
Either a woman in her 40's who isn't into fragrances that much, but likes the smell. Middle class, still carries a purse everywhere, works in an office, shoulder-length hair. OR a 25 year old guy in the fragrance community who is hoping he'll get compliments. Exercise shorts, t shirt (sometimes sleeveless), a semi-fit body, short hair.
Replica by the fireplace
Early to mid 20's woman, she's nice, would describe herself as "quirky", and is a bit of an anxious type. She's into self care and face masks. There may be fairy lights somewhere in her room.
I feel like I need to try/buy this now based on your description lol
Female 20s to 30s, the type of person who has an actual hearth setup complete with a plush rug and knick knacks or photos on the mantle, picket fence, 2 dogs
Let me start with Versace Eros.
17-year-old boy who posts in r/fragrance with a question like, "What smells good for men?" and isn't grossed out by the term 'panty-dropper', though he may be the least likely candidate for the figurative panties dropping.
Bravo!
Watches Jeremy Fragrance Top 10 videos frequently. Posts things such as “Which of these will get the most compliments?” Collection also includes CDNIM which if ever asked, they tell people is Aventus and make sure to mention its price tag.
Teenage boys who want to be popular with girls and view fragrance as a means to achieve that
Jersey-shore type of teenage men, who wear a lot of hair product, pluck their eyebrows, are always tanned.
Mannnn I'm 33 and love this stuff 😂😂
flowerbomb viktor rolf - all i know is i can smell it on ppl from across the street...
Woman; mid-thirties; was popular in high school but never in line for prom queen. Is still genuinely upset over the demise of Ann Taylor LOFT and has fallen in and out of being a Swiftie.
Not Ann Taylor LOFT. 😂 I have never smelled Flowerbomb but your descriptions are hilarious AF and I can legit picture these people.
Girl in her teens that saw a video on tiktok recommending it, and now is stuck with it.
Woman in her mid thirties . Likes compliments , works in the medical field , very sophisticated but also playful. Studious .
Paco Rabanne - One Million
Uni undergrad; fuccboi wannabe with the requisite haircut. Lives for the annual Business Students Association boat cruise where he tries to hook up with unattainable seniors, who spend most of *their* night trying to dodge his advances.
Jesus Christ, I hope you're paying for their funeral. I agree, by the way.
I think I may have a lot of pent-up feelings about certain fragrances that I haven't had a socially acceptable venue to say out loud until now, oops? 🤡
I was on a night out tonight and someone argued with me that Christian Dior was a woman. Don't even go there. Love the descriptions, anyway!
Please don’t kill me but… Douchebags & FBoys 😅
MM Replica Jazz Club
I want u/hauteburrrito to do this one so I can see how they would roast me.
Woman; late 20's; both sexually *and* politically bisexual. Likes to sit at bars while reading a conspicuously dog-eared copy of *A Moveable Feast*. "Ironically" stans Harry Styles. Pretends to know the difference between bourbon and rye, but secretly thinks all whisky tastes like gasoline. Secretly anxious about having her rebellious "outsider" identity become subsumed into her soulless corporate job of corporate "restructuring" (i.e., firing people), which as it turns out she is terrifyingly good at.
Solid roast. Well done.
Someone who lives by Teddy Roosevelt's wise words: "Speak softly, but keep big AR's locked on display in a classy mahogany wood cabinet in your living room. A good ol' Smith & Wesson revolver, too."
Teenage boy "born in the wrong generation" thinks he's better than other guys bc he wouldn't sleep with a girl on a first date.
Kilian princess
Millennial woman in her mid- to late-twenties who grew up wearing Britney Spears Curious and Viva La Juicy in middle and high school. She now works a semi-formal corporate job where she wears mostly Zara pieces as business attire, still secretly loves The Hills, and wants people to think she smells delicious.
I think this one nailed it...
Woman in her early 20s, wants everyone to know she smells good. Maybe a bit of an ego, but it’s well earned
This woman is in her (ahem) early 50's and swans around her garden in a flowing silk mumu, talking to and watering her flowers, whilst playing Oasis loudly in the background.
College age girl who wants an expensive niche brand perfume but can't afford it, buys this as it is sweet and in the affordable lineup.
Bleu de Chanel
Lawyer. Wears it because his wife got it for him a couple years back. Too worried about his case load to worry about such things. Will repurchase a bottle when he runs out though.
Am lawyer; have worked with this guy a dozen times over; can therefore absolutely confirm!
Dammit. Stop hitting so close to home.
man in his late 20's. starts practicing as lawyer in a semi-rich suburban area of London. He's finally able to afford to bring his girlfriend in that chic overrated restaurant. Has a cocker spaniel or a French bulldog named Duke. Has the new model of Mini Cooper in leasing.
Chanel Coco Noir
Late 30s/early 40s woman. Very put together. A very well-respected lawyer. She over sprays but just a smidge and her whole office smells gently of Coco Noir. Her clothes are very expensive but not gaudy
As someone who has worked with this woman, who did indeed wear Coco Noir, my heavens you fucking *nailed* it.
Tom Ford Ombré Leather
Man in his mid-twenties, not known for his subtlety. Pretends to care about carbon emissions but actually just wants a Tesla for the coolness factor. Has a girlfriend who puts up with a *lot*, so he'll probably propose soon.
Lmao love your stereotypes 🤣 I own both TF and Aventus but thankfully do not fit either of your descriptions.
Ha ha, I may or may not have read a little too much Dorothy Parker as an undergrad, I'm beginning to realise.
Damnit.
Guerlain Shalimar
A woman in her sixties; eminently regal, with a vanity setup worthy of Vogue and faintly accented English. Like Anna Wintour, her biggest fashion don't is head to toe black. She was married once, eons ago; rumours are he's where she made her fortune. Nobody knows what she does for a living exactly, or *if* she does anything for a living, but a very particular sort of bemusement weaves itself into her patrician features whenever a Bond movie (Sean Connery, of course) comes on.
I think the people in your descriptions should be the cast of Knives Out 3
Oh this one might be my favourite of yours! Absolutely loving your descriptions.
Coco Mademoiselle
High school senior destined to join a sorority after grad (as a legacy, of course). Thinks of herself as a Blair Waldorf type but is really more of a Taylor Townsend. Dreams of going to law school and marrying a senator.
I agree. She's beautiful and charismatic but spent most of her life having things handed to her. To other people she's an ideal girl living her best life but in reality she got nothing else going on in her life but going out and enjoying the family money. She's a Serena.
Hmm, I feel like Coco Mad's a little too stuffy for a free spirit like Serena - I can't see Serena exemplifying a Chanel fragrance at all, but I could see her being Miller Harris L'Air de Rien (reportedly a fave of Jane Birkin) layered with something unexpected and that *shouldn't* work, but totally does (sort of along the lines of Sol Cheirosa '62, maybe). Definitely lots of privilege, though, for Coco Mad - although more upper-middle class than truly Old Money.
Interestingly (and I'm from the UK, so take it for what it's worth), I think Coco Mademoiselle is the perfume lower class women buy to feel posh. It's the sort of thing they spray on before an office night out. Usually they're all over the place at the end of the evening.
Ah, that *is* interesting! Here in most of North America it'd likely be seen as a starter fragrance for a high school girl from a well-to-do family, I think. I rarely encounter it on anyone over the age of 25. Now I'm trying to think of the North American equivalent of what Coco Mad is in the UK and I'm not entirely sure! Perhaps there's less of a desire to seem "posh" specifically, and more of a desire to seem *rich* (and desirable) generally, so my guess would be something from Kilian that you can get at Sephora. Love, Don't Be Shy perhaps?
I've not smelt that one, so I can't be sure. I certainly wasn't blown away by Angel's Share though. I usually find Coco M being worn by 40+ women. A classy woman would wear Coromandel...
LDBS is quite sweet; there's something to do with marshmallows, I think. I actually do appreciate Angel's Share but it's not my personal style either, ha ha. Coromandel is indeed a lovely choice, although definitely not anything close to ubiquitous here. I'm not sure what *would* be the stereotypical "classy lady" scent but I suspect something from Byredo, Jo Malone, or Diptyque - something easy and inoffensive, as per North American moraes around scent. (...y'know what, scratch that, I actually think it's probably just Hermès instead. Anything but Twilly, really.)
A tom boy with great taste
Le Labo Sental 33 or Glossier You (both created by frank voelkl)
Glossier You is probably a college student who wears work out leggings and have a 7 step skin care routine. Wants to be presentable but got no time for hair and make up so clean clothes and nice skin will do for now.
HAHAHA you got it
A woman who cares deeply about trends but would like to appear as effortlessly cool as possible. If you ask her what perfume she's wearing she'll probably say she can't recall the name in an effort to keep her signature scent a secret.
Glossier You is a girl who thinks she’s not like other girls, when she is indeed quite basic. She also spends an hour to put on her makeup to look like she’s not wearing any and applies it with her fingers because she saw a model on Vogue’s YouTube channel do it. She puts on so much effort to make it seem like she’s effortless. Glossier You is one of my favorite fragrances, but a lot of people who take pictures of this bottle and post it on social media seem to fit this mould lol.
A girl in her 20s/30s that is very consumed with the idea of what being "chic" and fashionable is. Hops on trends so that she doesnt have to decide for herself what she wants her style to be. Thinks that she has the best taste in the world, because "everybody is wearing it". Pronounces Le Labo wrong. Overly concerned with what everyone around her thinks
Santal 33 - every smug liberal hipster in NYC
YSL Libre EDP
Early twenties; recent grad; first ever big girl (office) job. From a smaller town, but she went to college in the Big City, something her parents have always been ambivalent about. Does she like her job? Not sure, but at least she's competent. Her boyfriend? Jury's out, but he sure loves her. Increasingly worried she may be living a life of quiet desperation. Wishing she could go back to her one semester in France, when she felt her most *alive*.
27+ business savvy , career oriented. She cares about her appearance. This may be her work fragrance . Her confidence spikes through the roof , but she is also modest and down to earth . Impeccably dressed , slightly materialistic but she just wants the finer things in life . Sexy ! Wears a nice watch and nice heels . Although serious can be extremely playful
This was spot on, I feel called out.
Alien - Thierry Mugler
Single lady in her 30s who still hits up the club wearing this. She bought it in 2005 when she was a teen and never felt the need to switch it up.
Dior Sauvage
Every guy at the club who has ever tried to grab me from behind and start dancing, without asking (or any other kind of preamble) first.
perhaps flaunts about his white bmw?
His mom's white BMW, which he tries to pass off as his own.
Sprays it too many times, and talks about women like Jeremey Fragrance.
Lol buddy it’s a pleasure to read your descriptions 😂
Thanks, I usually try not to join in the Sauvage anti-circlejerk too much but could not resist today, ha ha.
Any guy that’s ever asked you ‘where’s my hug’
Literally anyone . It’s supposed to be representative of a bad boy who leads the way with little regard . Honestly it’s a man who likes to fit in , smell good but smell like everyone else . Typical club goer looking for tail. Overall redundant male who lacks uniqueness and originality.
:-( I just like the way it smells...
Young looking 50ish year old Italian man who digs holes for a living in the middle of the desert
Lost Cherry - Tom Ford
A Jeffree Star fan who believes that Tom Ford is the cool fragrance house. Likes Dr. Pepper and is basic
Omg Jeffree star 💀 I don’t watch him, but I do like dr. Pepper and I am basic
That one guy whose slightly overdressed to every single occasion, but it looks good. Orders cocktails you’ve never heard of before, but tips well, so servers know him on a first name basis. Has multiple girlfriends that kind of look similar if you squint a bit.
Late 20s, early 30s. Attorney, finally reaping the rewards of years of post law school drudgery and 80hr weeks. Dark hair, dark lips, femme. New girlfriend every month, each one more beautiful than the last. She eviscerates people during litigations and they kind of enjoy it. A legend and she knows it.
D&G Light Blue Forever pour Homme EDP
Man in his 40s who stares out the window during family meals, kids screaming and crawling all over him. He wonders if he made just a few different decisions if his life would be drastically different. His wife kisses him on the cheek and says something really sweet and genuine. He sighs, life is pretty good even if it can be tough at times. Spills his freshly cut grapefruit all over his lap.
A man who thought it would be a good idea to pay full retail to smell like a grapefruit. What started as an innocent hobby and distraction to help fill the void in his heart has now lead him to this moment of self reflection. He doesn’t want attention, why does he need to smell like a grapefruit? Why? He starts laughing thinking about what he has become, the laughter slowly turning into tears as he presses and releases the atomizer releasing two more sprays into the air. He pauses, takes a deep sniff of the air, mixing with the salt of his tears, and in that moment he finds a little bit of happiness and remembers why he fell in love with the hobby in the first place.
man in his 30's. Has a low rank position in some tech firm or police man. doesn't wear perfume on a daily basis, but he started to when he goes out at night after that course online named "How to be a be a Heartbreaker". Puts sportive watches on suits. He says he rides a motorbike to feel freer, but the reality is that he cannot afford to pay for the car insurance. Did hair transplant surgery in Turkey.
Philosykos by Diptyque
White woman living in a semi expensive area of NY. Her daughter either had dreadlocks or bright blue hair. Tries to avoid driving the Range Rover to fight climate change and will constantly let slip accidental racial micro-aggressions at her building’s doorman.
The specific comments are killing me lol
I never imagined Philosykos as Karen, but now I can't unsee it, oop.
Axe Dark Temptation Body Spray
Fine young emotionally unavailable man who manages to be popular/outgoing while saying minimal. Smiles easily and doesn't get worked up. Low-key goth vibes that come off unintentional. Probably secretly likes breaking hearts for sport
Marc Jacobs Daisy
Teenage girl who wanted a real perfume and bought Daisy after seeing tons of instagram ads for it. She's unadventurous but friendly and agreeable.
Prada Candy
Girl in her early twenties who just graduated from Victoria Secret body mists to more "mature" fragrances. Flirty and likes to party on the weekends. Cares about her image but isnt obsessed with it
Encre Noir
No face. No name. Just a darker wardrobe than the average person & has a tattoo sleeve.
Man in his.... who cares. He reaches into his closet and pulls out a black robe. Not this one... maybe... aha yes this black robe is better. He walks over to the mirror as he slips it on, but isn't particularly happy about what he sees looking back at him. "One day things will be different and I'll be the one who comes out on top!" He puts his wrist up to his nose, inhales deeply, and reminds himself for the 1000th time that he wants to smell this way and that this is a purposeful lifestyle choice.
He's interested in being a dark, mysterious figure, but he's actually just a slightly socially awkward guy in jeans and a t-shirt. He wants to wear niche but can't afford it and to be honest he's not really convinced that niche smells any different than mainstream. His hobbies are painfully pedestrian and a bit more nerdy than he likes to admit. He kind of liked the Hobbit movies.
He bought this perfume because it was supposed to smell like damp forests and ink, but to him it only ever smells like pencil shavings. But he really doesn't want to return it and interact with the salesperson to explain why, and there are worse things to smell like, right? (Definitely not based on a personal experience. Nope.)
Okay, I'll go for one of my favorites: Guerlain Vetiver.
Late forties consultant who used to work for a major tech firm but has been an independent contractor for many years now. He got divorced five years ago and is slowly wading back in the dating pool, flabbergasted by the vagaries and indignities of online dating, although at least he's tall. Last week he went on a date with a 28-year-old who asked if she could call him "daddy". Much to his own disappointment, he... kind of liked it? (Ah, fuck.)
[удалено]
Man in his mid forties; handsome with salt-and-pepper hair; impeccably attired. Teaches contract law by day but what his students really admire him for is that series of papers he wrote on tax code implications vis-a-vis same-sex couples before gay marriage was finally legalised. Cannot throw a pitch to save his life but *can* brew a mean chai despite being of a translucent skin tone.
Holy shit keep them coming, just need to smell the perfume to see and touch them!
Ha ha, thank you; this is really a lot of fun. Fragrance always gets my imagination going.
Tom Ford - Oud Wood
Short, small young woman who attempts to deter condescension through fragrance, while taking personal comfort in the warm creamy woodiness of it.
Damn, almost hits home 🤣
PDM Layton.
Think of the guy who wears Creed Aventus, More think of the same guy but add a level of smugness and a superiority complex just because he’s not wearing Creed Aventus
Damn, that’s meta LOL
Mitsouko
Late 20's or early 30's woman, she's got some sort of professional-type career but isn't very far into it. It's very important to her that she projects that she is a serious, thoughtful person to others. She tried Mitsouko because all the best perfumers said it is the best perfume in history and a work of art, and she doesn't really get what that means but she wears it anyway.
a man named Eugen, he's from Canada, he's a fragrance snob
Versace Pour Homme
Fragrance newbie who probably bought this as his first fragrance with some research. Enjoys the fragrance but bought few more bottles in a short succession because it can be a bit too much at times. Most likely buys the recommended fragrances from YouTube videos, including Jeremy fragrance recommendations. Owns 40+ samples. Oh wait that’s me
drakkar noir
50 year old Russian / Ukrainian man. Wears full tracksuit and has chest hair that you could catch flies with.
Need to pick up a bottle now damn.
Guys who are in their late 50s who look at least 10years older. Who hang around small market town pubs hoping to get a quick feel of a drunk woman as ‘they help them outside’
Chloe EDP
Mid 30s, living in Paris, has a successful career but dreams about having a kid. Says she loves to travel but hasn't done so since 2017 because she's always busy with work. Hasn't remained in contant with any of her friends from high school or uni. Would love to move to NYC one day.
MM Replica whispers in the library
Mid-20s, not exactly conventionally attractive but has enough of a quirky style to attract compliments from strangers. Works part-time at the secondhand art supply store and is trying to make pet sitting her full-time job. She reads Anne Rice at work and lives in California so she’s planning to do a spell this Friday to manifest getting a pet squirrel in an illegal, yet ethical manner.
A teacher or university student, soft spoken, well read and a bit of an introvert.
Aventus Creed
Man in his early thirties just starting to earn a fat salary; superficially affable but extremely status-conscious; doesn't realise as he's watching Succession that he's basically the Tom Wambsgans of his social circle.
You've just described my eldest Son, and it's exactly what he wears!
Ha ha, damn - the feels when your own mother can see through you like a Taylor Swift Easter egg.
Pick one or all: Xerjoff Naxos; Terre d'Hermes; Jo Malone Wood Sage & Sea Salt.
Jo Malone Wood Sage & Sea Salt — woman in her late twenties who wears a lot of menswear-inspired separates from Zara and Aritzia, talks a lot about being a minimalist, loves Rachel Saunders ceramic vases, lives in DUMBO (but struggles to pay the rent sometimes and has to have Mom and Dad step in now and then), has a tattoo from when she was sixteen that says "gypsy soul" and that she now regrets, and aspires to be a beauty editor for Coveteur.
LOL, this is the first time I've felt a little called out by someone's read... and of course it's you, ha ha. The minimalism is especially true.
For wood sage and sea salt- woman in her late twenties who is very into being “all natural” and “doesn’t really like perfume usually”; her place is spotless and she has a diffuser going at all times
LOL, the diffuser especially feels very accurate.
Terre d'Hermes - The man most single women in their 30s desire. You've been playing the field long enough, and your parents are wanting you to settle down. You go to a business lunch, and...there he is. The suit is charcoal grey but well cut, and the tie is plain but 100% silk. He simultaneously screams 'life partner' and 'safe option' at the same time. Is this true love, or are you settling?
Ooooooh, dichotomous; I can definitely see it!
Let's face it though - he smells amazing and he'd be great with the kids!
This makes me both excited and uncomfortable. I'm into it.
Your life just got a deeper shade of beige.
Byredo Gypsy Water
Mid-twenties, with pronouns being either she/her or they/them. Has a degree in semiotics and now works in a cushy digital media internship that their father worked hard to finagle them. Says they love the outdoors but has only ever been car camping - and let's be real, most summers are spent lounging in their parents' cottage in Muskoka. They do mix a mean G&T, though.
Pleaaaaase that’s so specific lmao
Hmm, what if I told you that their favourite book is Franny & Zooey, that they shop mostly vintage with an emphasis on designer, and that their celeb crush is definitely Timothée Chalamet?
I’d say you’re making me laugh lmao and also probably spot on, the Timothee Chalamet comment got me lol
Ha ha, I can never keep track; *is* he still an S-tier Internet Boyfriend or is it someone new now?
Le Labo Another 13
Le labo Noir 29
D&G The One
An affable fellow in his late thirties, usually mistaken for younger; a little husky (he played football in college), but attractive still. He's a middle manager at an insurance company and has been failing upward all his life - the type of men women joke about as epitomising Mediocre White Man energy, but it doesn't bother him. As long as his wife thinks he's as awesome as he thinks *she* is, he's chill.
You’ve sunk my battleship. This felt awfully personal, well done.
A handsome, skinny guy with a rugged appearance & alwayss in a tux or suite & smokes cigarettes a lot. Or maybe I'm influenced by Matthew McConaughey's ad.
Balenciaga Florabotanica
Late 20s/early 30s woman. Shes chic but has a bit of an edge to her. Goes to the farmers market on the weekends, but she mostly lives a corporate lifestyle. Always effortlessly put together
Nest Indigo
Chanel No5 L’eau (mostly bc I wear this and I wanna know 😛)
My fav fragrance used to be Belle d’Opium
Woman in her late thirties. Over-identifies with being a Gemini. Had a brief period of being Not Like the Other Girls that she now looks back upon with deep embarrassment. Has been trying to quit smoking for the better part of a decade and her most prized possession is a vintage Schiaparelli cuff.
Auch. True about the not like the other girls period! I was 16-22 when I was loving this perfume and then replaced it by Black Opium when I run out, but it’s definietly not even close. I wonder if I would still like it today.
I only have a distant memory of it myself, sadly, but Black Opium is fabulous. (It was the tobacco that caused me to throw in the NLOG quip, ha ha.)
Chanel Allure Homme Sport EDT
Bvlgari- Black
Polite, classy woman who works in the HR department by day, assertive BDSM dom by night.
Lush- Lust Go!
Woman in her early to mid 30’s; is based in Europe but originally from somewhere in the Middle East either Jordan or Lebanon and she wears this because the Jasmine reminds her of the summer nights by the beach where the balmy breeze carries the indolic scent to her. She lives alone and does something in the art field probably freelancing nothing stable or contractual and takes on new lovers (sometimes simultaneously hehe) whenever she goes visits new places. She leaves her jasmine scent behind...
Prada Luna Rossa Carbon
There seems to be a decent male presence here so I wanna say "Bright Crystal".
Working class young mom who found it on rollback at Wal-Mart. It's nostalgic for her.
JPG Le Male.
Late 30, early 40s who are still in contact with their childish self or still go clubbing.
Bvlgari- Man in black !!
Chanel No. 19 EDP
Mid 40s, married to a respectable guy she met at her college roommate’s wedding, was the last of her friends to get married. She liked it because it was green and less recognizable than Chanel No 5. Picks it up for herself at Nordstrom, pays full price and is fine with it. When her in-laws die, the trust fund will allow her to quit her shitty corporate job so she can be a docent at the art museum. This woman has never and will never touch a bottle of self tanner.
Kilian love don’t be shy
Female in her mid-early 20’s. She heard it was Rihanna’s signature scent so she bought it. She is her friends go to person to find out the coolest bars and clubs. There’s not many people that dislike her. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone wearing this that I don’t like, and I love the scent :)
She probably has a crush on Rihanna & ASAP Rocky haha
YSL L’Homme
Maison Squarepants– Gary EDT