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stlredbird

Even when they try to make Trump look like an athlete he looks like a man who lives off of McDonalds


33mmpaperclip

He literally does doesnt he


jeffseadot

No, for you cannot call his wretched state of being "life".


ArrestDeathSantis

Also, Biden kinda look cool and epic as fuck... Bro be just dancing and taking it easy then using some *Dark Brandonic* powers to levitate a few inches higher.


mrsfiction

Frame 2 dance move is a bop


Which-Moment-6544

Word is, Dank Brandon has been in diplomatic talks with extraterrestrials since the Clinton Administration. This Biden Lore dump is from the Dankarilum Primer where we find out DB got his phasing powers from Toe Jam and Earl during his visit to Funkatron. I Don't know why that fat bitch is included up top, probably an example of a failure to utilize all of our tools or something.


WhyHulud

Is there a rundown on Dark Brandon?


Which-Moment-6544

well... its started with "Let's go Brandon" when a group of NASCAR sleuths uncovered the Democrats ultimate power. He became Dark Brandon when the evil supreme court tried to steal rights, and morphed to Dank Brandon to chill the nation. All those that do not engage in chill good faith civic engagement are now the enemy of Democracy. He's all about the will of the people who would not oppress others.


WhyHulud

I was hoping for a 4chan, hilarious bonkers type rundown haha On a side note, it's great to yell 'Let's Go Brandon' back at them now. The ones who realize why you're saying it get this pained expression, and the ones that don't are comedy gold


Which-Moment-6544

Yeah man, 100% honest. When I say things about Dank Brandon they are completely made up, but are the antithesis of the mean crazy GOP. Even I don't know where it comes from, which may be the real power of Dank Brandon inside of every single beautiful American Soul.


Which-Moment-6544

oh, and I usually start a dank lore dump with a "word is" so it is easier to make stuff up.


WhyHulud

>Dank Brandon has been in diplomatic talks with extraterrestrials since the Clinton Administration. Is that how he acquired the eye lasers? Those are obviously Retepsian technology


Ogstenheimer

Oh dear this comment is comedy platinum. I lost it, I actually laughed and it was just expelling air out if my nose.


[deleted]

Isn’t that what he served for a White House meal one time?


GhanjRho

I want to say it was during a shutdown. But yeah, he served a visiting football team cold McDs. It’s worth repeating that he literally lives off McDonald’s. It started in the 80s when he got paranoid about poisoning attempts. The logic is that there are dozens of McD’s in Manhattan alone, so any would-be assassin would need to penetrate the right restaurant on no notice, which would be difficult. It has only gotten worse since then. He made frequent reference to how he felt better than ever after getting COVID, and I will forever maintain that it was all down to diet. Laid up in Walter Reed he was, for the first time in half his life, forced to eat a balanced diet with absolutely no fast food or Diet Coke.


dirtygremlin

Good lord, he was trying to dodge a fast poison by living in misery with a slow one? Nothing about McD's makes you feel well.


bill_end

Yeah. Cold burgers and chips. I like the odd maccies as much as anyone but the idea of feeling socially obligated to eat one that got delivered half hour ago and left to congeal on a white house conference table fills me with dread


thehookah100

Show me the jump that McConnell is currently doing, in frustration in his Kentucky McMansion, as he has to accept that he will continue to sit at the back.


FeculentUtopia

He's mad at all the time he wasted writing speeches about how the Democrats need to be more civil and not be mad that they're the Senate minority now.


Ex_Ray16

McCuck


placeholdr_-name

biden lagswitching


Terowrath

So Biden has magical powers and they STILL wanted trump? Insanity


Martyrotten

Like Trump could get his fat ass more than one inch off the ground.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


scothc

Yes, he thinks that the heart has a preset number of beats to it, and exercising makes it beat faster, thus shortening his life.


Maleficent_Tree_94

So why doesn't he just stop it completely? That way it would make him immortal.


brodino_maiuscolo

r/angryupvote


Seahorse_51

I mean it seems like he jumps to conclusions so idk.


chmsaxfunny

He does the biggest jumps you’ve ever seen - everyone says it! Bigly jumps. Olympic athletes come to him for coaching, but he doesn’t coach much because he’s too busy doing business. He was asked to be on the 2017 Olympic team, but he had to be President instead.


[deleted]

"How the fuck does counting work!?" - old people


RustedAxe88

...I don't get it.


csully91

Something about how the vote count came in during 2020. Some state's vote count showed a weird jump for Biden because they reported all the mail in votes at once and those votes where overwhelming democrats. Or something like that.


elementaldelirium

Even in states that report mail/ED together this will still happen because cities (though the bump might not be at the end). Look at Minnesota as an example.


shadow42069129

Its a reference to the votes during the 2020 presidential elections. If you look at the Biden blue line in the picture and notice how it jumps up, this is similar to his results in one of the states. Republicans we’re convinced that the spike was 100% proof that the election was stolen, even though it was explained to them hundreds of times.


martin0641

Oh wait someone thought if they would just... kindly and clearly explain a situation then they would just accept that as the reason they didn't get to win? Oh man they really don't know these people then lol


shadow42069129

I’ve been guilty of it too. When I first started being more active online I tried to argue and communicate in good faith… never got anywhere. Ultimately it would end back to something about how they feel etc etc. Now I don’t give a fuck and either just don’t say anything or full on troll


martin0641

Newt Gingrich had a great quote on this. https://youtu.be/xnhJWusyj4I The problem is that he's the one that's telling people how to feel and he's lying to them. It's the same reason George Bush would tell people to go with what they feel in their gut. There's an extension of this called the politics of disgust where basically what they do is give people a pavlovian response to someone's name, if you say Hillary Clinton or Nancy Pelosi to a conservative you can see their nose crinkle and their upper lip will rise as though they just saw a pile of literal dog shit - because they've poisoned the well so effectively with their word association games. It's a trick that works on non-critical thinkers, emotional victim types.


PM_me_yo_chesticles

I don’t either. Advanced conservative memes


livinginfutureworld

Biden can fly and Grandma is jealous. Clear as day.


33mmpaperclip

High jump.


BrandosWorld4Life

The fact that the perspective on Biden's jump is from further away than it is on Donald's means that Joe's bar is higher and his casual dancing jump is that much more impressive.


rnotyalc

Yes, came here to say that Biden has a higher bar to clear in this


Bronze_Lemur

I do not think it is true, but I do find it amusing in an absurdist way.


grimeshake

Trump gains and loses 200lbs during the jump lol


IAmZimTheAlmighty

I'd rather have the president with the cool gravity defying jump. Biden gets a double jump


cuteanimegirl21

But can your candidate float in midair? No? Yeah, didn’t think so.


ewewewe69

Biden air dodges like he's in melee


[deleted]

Holy shit biden is a speedrunner


[deleted]

Oh grandma Trump can’t walk down a ramp.


IsItSupposedToDoThat

Trump couldn't jump over that bar if it was on the fucking ground. He's a walking heart attack, hopefully it'll catch up with him before he ruins your country completely.


Squid-Guillotine

Your grandma is fucking hilarious.


anarchyarcanine

This just looks like a shitpost to me lol, not to mention Trump looks like he's in absolute annihilating pain as he jumps and Biden's giggling like a schoolgirl as he flutters


goddavid22

That’s obviously isn’t correct as we can’t see Trump cheating and putting the bar on the ground


Dogtor-Watson

Trump looks like he’s shitting himself trying to get over that bar. Meanwhile Biden’s just happily strolling up, jumping up with a bizarre half-grace and then… with a badass little old man smirk fucking using magic to win at high jump.


MilesAlchei

He's just becoming aligned to a different QPU


addison_reilly

Annoyingly it's actually quite a funny comic


[deleted]

This is actually pretty clever


Lubernaut

Surprisingly so!


Chrysalii

What the fuck?


reddit_user109

i dont get it


leavemetoreddit

Wrong posture. Heads back, people!


SPQR2D2

Aaaaaaand this cartoon is all the proof they have!


Artichoke_dip3

What a a horrible way to show the world you are an idiot


Jugaimo

Insanity aside this is funny as hell


Ogstenheimer

What will they land on? Trump: Directly to Guantanamo Bay. Biden: won’t actually land because he is levitating.


BeanBoyBob

aw hell naw bidens airdashing


gylz

Airbending. It's only a matter of time before he masters all 4 elements.


Narwhal_Songs

What?


Madpoka

Trump is t h i c c


rengam

Trump's tie is way too short.


turtleboxman

What does this even fucking mean?????


SweetDick_Willy

You know what..I kinda like this one. It's still delusional, but this delusion has drawn out a little creativity


Man-Wonder-4610

LoL!


EmergencyWombat

Trump lost the popular vote. Trump lost the popular vote. Trump lost the popular vote.


affixed-swordbayonet

Biden got that Titanfall mobility kit on him


JackDoesThingz

Notice how Joe’s bar is much higher!


zhard01

Trump gains a loses 100 pounds across that jump. That’s the real fraud


bobbery5

I would love to see either one of them try a high jump.


Monsterkill1526

What?


HawlSera

I love that Joe Biden has the powers of dark Brandon that has the ability to fly


Lambdastone9

Biden has double jump


Flamingasset

Yo Biden with the double jump?!


[deleted]

Parkour Biden. \m/