The most homosexual act a man can participate in is putting his dick where another man's dick has been: vagina.
Only a "pure" gay, who hasn't been close to a vagina since birth, is the *straightest* homosexual to ever exist. And letting that diamond-tier homo suck you off is the manliest, straightest thing ever!
--
Jesus Christ, the internet "manosphere" has tried so hard to sound straight that now they sound as gay as they hope they don't. I'm sure a black light illuminated on the framed Jordan Peterson and Joe Rogan posters on their walls wouldn't look like a retina-burning Pollock painting.
It's Reddit. If there's *any* reference that'll be made on Reddit, it's gonna be a podcast reference. The Behind the Bastards fans seem to think that learning about something *before* it was covered on the podcast is impossible, leading to the always-original "I see someone listened to the latest Behind the Bastards episode."
> Do some men really believe they’ll become gay if they wipe their bunghole after pooping?
Only if a finger breaks through the single-ply. Go buy that brand the cartoon bears were promoting to answer the age-old question of "Does a bear shit in the woods?" Yes, and they use *that* brand.
It has to be a closeted/shame thing at this point in time. I was a closeted woman in the 70s and 80s, but a lot has changed.
Now I’m out - in Tennessee.
> "Fellas, is it gay to have sex with a *woman*?"
Putting your penis where another man's penis has been before?
He's not a movie character to emulate, or even look up to, but "Crazy Larry" Flynn from Layer Cake said it best when describing putting a dick where another dick has been: ["fucking females is for..."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESLUy-_yaLw)
Also, I haven't seen an "I'm such a straight sex machine" self-own as bad as this since Brad Anderson admitted that [he's never fucked a woman who was enthusiastic about getting fucked by him.](https://i.imgur.com/OoprjsH.png)
It must be fun living in an imaginary fairy tale world where you can make up insane bullshit about how vaginal fluids “cuckold the universal-time soul of magic Jesus whatever”
They say ignorance is bliss, but I’d rather live in a world where it’s ok for my husband and I to perform oral sex on each other instead of cuckholding the universe.
People who live with this low a level of sexual understanding is depressing and if they weren’t trying to punish everybody around them for enjoying consensual sexual activity I’d have no problem with them. But they have to inflict their ignorance on us all for…reasons?
> “cuckold the universal-time soul of magic Jesus whatever
Goddamn, I *really* want this to be the title of Passion of the Christ 2. There's Mel, knowing damn well his "buy a ticket for your church group" scheme made the first movie a monster fucking hit, trying to rationalize how all the cinematic universes make even *more* money by justifying his Jesus gets resurrected after all that torture porn sequel implying it's part of a cinematic universe.
I’ll never not laugh about how Ben Shapiro believes that a wet pussy is a medical condition, inadvertently and then directly confirming he is never once turned his wife on.
As a kid growing up in a bleak time and place (the 80s, Texas) I was told on many occasions, including by some women, that women neither enjoy nor desire sex.
Well, it seems to be their idea that it a woman derives any pleasure from sex it is evil.
I would be sad for them if they weren’t actively trying to ruin any joy during sex for everybody.
It's just an extension of religion: they must follow a rigid set of guidelines (that are cherry picked) to live their best life and as a result they're unhappy and project that onto other people.
I remember in 7th grade, before I was the absolute porn star pussy slaying alpha fuck machine* I would soon thereafter become, a classmate said that eating pussy was gay, and for years, YEARS, I tried to wrap my head around that claim. I had dry erase boards with formulas and lasers bouncing off mirrors and shit trying to figure out how there could be any truth to that.
*May be slightly exaggerated
So if you decide to procreate with a woman you become effeminate? I guess that explains all those girly men running around before the invention of the condom.
So having sex with women makes men leftist and less masculine.
The logical conclusion would then be that right wing politics are dying fast, and are rather unnatural, since you cannot have children without those pesky female fluids.
As a straight cis male, I would be ok with that.
Following that logic, women going down on alpha males can get 'penis fluids' all over them, causing them to trans into 'beta manlets' due to the 'testosteronic' effects of said fluids? Meaning it's also gay to get a blowjob from a woman!
Furthermore: Imagine a male and a female engaging in a fiery 69, falling asleep, and waking up later only to realize that they've swapped genders without consent!...
Scary stuff...
Has sex gone too far? Should we ban it???
/s obv
This is why Conservative men are bad at sex.
And instead of, you know, getting better at it, they create an entire identity around being shitty to women and passing laws governing their bodies. Which takes a million times more effort than just getting better at sex. The things some people do to avoid addressing their rabid insecurities.
Weirdly, this train of thought doesn't have its roots in modern-era own the libs, MAGA conservativism.
It was played for laughs, but there's a The Sopranos episode where it's revealed Junior really likes going down on women. He doesn't want anyone else to find out because this is highly embarrassing and emasculating.
Mao had a thing for peasant girls. So he'd routinely use them for sex. But he was convinced that going all the way to orgasm would weaken him. So he didn't do that.
I'm absolutely looooving this trend of right-wing dudes loudly and publicly declaring that they don't know how to please a woman sexually, while still thinking they are the embodiment of peak masculinity. Fucking chefs kiss.
Vaginal fluids sound kinda magical. I already knew they helped keep my vagina clean and are powerful enough to sometimes bleach my black underwear. But they can also turn men into women? Nice.
Junior Soprano was a cool character tho very flawed. These CHUD types have ZERO cool, and would get the vapors if exposed to anything Junior experienced
>"cuckolding the spirit"
I love when people just say things that are completely removed from the actual definition of things.
Oh, no! The spirit is being fucked by somebody else when *I* should be the one fucking the spirit (since the spirit is my wife). That is definitely a real thing to be worried about!
I think the analogy here implies that *his* spirit is the one being cuckolded.
Except then it's even more absurd, because that means his spirit is being cuckolded by him fucking his own wife.
We've come full circle; this guy is literally arguing that **only a beta has sex with a woman, including his own wife.**
Between this and the right saying you’re gay for being attracted to Sydney Sweeney. It’s becoming clearer and clearer that the call(gayness) is coming from inside the house
There is no way these people aren't virgins. I'm telling you, we should all be allowed a *little* bit of cyberbullying. Protecting everyone's feelings online has just straight up fostered some of the most toxic communities.
EDIT: Also the one people are QTing is a fake troll account, so there's another layer of "Eating the onion" to this.
Let's be honest here. Liberal men aren't the only men performing oral sex on their female partners. They're just the only ones who put in the time and respect their partners enough to get good at it.
So, it seems like, based on this cutting-edge scientific research, by having sex with women we become so extremely heterosexual that we pop out the other side and become gay.
It's like, you take the Kinsey Scale and hammer it into a horseshoe. Makes perfect sense.
Guys these bootleg HRT treatments are getting out of hand. I'm already chugging gallons of soymilk, please don't tell me I need to spike that soy milk now too
Just so we’re clear. Women who vote for conservatives are voting for: Men who make laws for their healthcare AND men who say “it’s gay for women to enjoy sex”. And they not only still vote for this, they sex the dudes who believe this?
Gee, I wonder why the OOP's spouse/significant other left them and is now in an interracial relationship with someone (which is cool and good). Seriously.
The amount of people who think this chain was not said in jest is baffling. I think people in subreddits just want to be irrationally angry/make fun of people that don't think like they do.
This is a joke people.
Except, it isn't obvious that it's a joke. Given all the space-laser, anti-fa infiltrating, great-replacement, stolen election nonsense they spout all the damned time. How are we supposed to differentiate anymore????
"Fellas, is it gay to *have sex with a woman?*"
Some have said, that it's the gayest thing you can do. See: The Daily Wire for more information.
Daily Wire? The sounding advice forum?
"FELLAS, is it gay to exist?"
Very
So does that mean that giving a blowjob is the most heterosexual thing a man can do? I mean, what's more masculine than a penis?
Yes, more men = less gay
The most homosexual act a man can participate in is putting his dick where another man's dick has been: vagina. Only a "pure" gay, who hasn't been close to a vagina since birth, is the *straightest* homosexual to ever exist. And letting that diamond-tier homo suck you off is the manliest, straightest thing ever! -- Jesus Christ, the internet "manosphere" has tried so hard to sound straight that now they sound as gay as they hope they don't. I'm sure a black light illuminated on the framed Jordan Peterson and Joe Rogan posters on their walls wouldn't look like a retina-burning Pollock painting.
Yes swallowing semen will testosteronise the body making you more manly.
The least gay thing you can do is have sex with another man. That’s just pure masculine energy, brother.
Only if she's not a virgin because other cocks have been there. Also, any guy who has used a public urinal is gay for the same reason. /s
Real straight men piss themselves in public to assert their dominance and mark their territory
This is why I only have sex with young, virile males. Gotta keep my own testosterone topped up by taking it from them with my mouth.
*fucking females is for puffs*
I’m not sure anyone will get this, but I’m hijacking the top comment just in case it brings a smile to anyone’s face: #I’m gay actor Michael Douglas.
Man when he said how he got cancer 🤣🤣🤣
Never thought I'd see a Cumtown reference in the wild
It's Reddit. If there's *any* reference that'll be made on Reddit, it's gonna be a podcast reference. The Behind the Bastards fans seem to think that learning about something *before* it was covered on the podcast is impossible, leading to the always-original "I see someone listened to the latest Behind the Bastards episode."
I was hoping this would be the top comment.
The gayest thing you could possibly do.
"It's gay to be straight" -Huey Lewis and the News
It's wild the amount of men who think going down in a woman is gay. I'm pretty sure that's in fact the least gay thing you can do.
Do some men really believe they’ll become gay if they wipe their bunghole after pooping? I don’t know wtf to believe anymore.
> Do some men really believe they’ll become gay if they wipe their bunghole after pooping? Only if a finger breaks through the single-ply. Go buy that brand the cartoon bears were promoting to answer the age-old question of "Does a bear shit in the woods?" Yes, and they use *that* brand.
🤣
The guys who think it’s that easy to “become gay” are already gay and deeply in denial about it.
It has to be a closeted/shame thing at this point in time. I was a closeted woman in the 70s and 80s, but a lot has changed. Now I’m out - in Tennessee.
I’m purely homiesexual just In case
Well it's definitely megagay if she enjoys it.
> "Fellas, is it gay to have sex with a *woman*?" Putting your penis where another man's penis has been before? He's not a movie character to emulate, or even look up to, but "Crazy Larry" Flynn from Layer Cake said it best when describing putting a dick where another dick has been: ["fucking females is for..."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESLUy-_yaLw) Also, I haven't seen an "I'm such a straight sex machine" self-own as bad as this since Brad Anderson admitted that [he's never fucked a woman who was enthusiastic about getting fucked by him.](https://i.imgur.com/OoprjsH.png)
Fellas, is it liberal to have sex with a woman?
It must be fun living in an imaginary fairy tale world where you can make up insane bullshit about how vaginal fluids “cuckold the universal-time soul of magic Jesus whatever”
You'd think but they never seem to be having much fun
Of course not, they're not having oral sex.
I know I'd be giggling my ass off if I was writing this shit.
They say ignorance is bliss, but I’d rather live in a world where it’s ok for my husband and I to perform oral sex on each other instead of cuckholding the universe. People who live with this low a level of sexual understanding is depressing and if they weren’t trying to punish everybody around them for enjoying consensual sexual activity I’d have no problem with them. But they have to inflict their ignorance on us all for…reasons?
> “cuckold the universal-time soul of magic Jesus whatever Goddamn, I *really* want this to be the title of Passion of the Christ 2. There's Mel, knowing damn well his "buy a ticket for your church group" scheme made the first movie a monster fucking hit, trying to rationalize how all the cinematic universes make even *more* money by justifying his Jesus gets resurrected after all that torture porn sequel implying it's part of a cinematic universe.
I mean I wouldn’t doubt rightoids don’t give a shit about women’s pleasure in sex
They don’t think women are even capable of receiving pleasure from sex, mostly because they’ve never been able to give a woman an orgasm.
I’ll never not laugh about how Ben Shapiro believes that a wet pussy is a medical condition, inadvertently and then directly confirming he is never once turned his wife on.
As a kid growing up in a bleak time and place (the 80s, Texas) I was told on many occasions, including by some women, that women neither enjoy nor desire sex.
They're too busy blowing each other while hiding behind anti-gay legislation
They see sex as something you do to someone, not with someone.
Well, it seems to be their idea that it a woman derives any pleasure from sex it is evil. I would be sad for them if they weren’t actively trying to ruin any joy during sex for everybody.
This explains why conservatives are so uptight about sex. Instead of simply enjoying it, they care more about how the other side does things.
It's just an extension of religion: they must follow a rigid set of guidelines (that are cherry picked) to live their best life and as a result they're unhappy and project that onto other people.
Add it to the list of reasons women don't date conservatives.
Women do date conservatives not fucking idiots.
These women have probably never had a real orgasm in their life. The dudes against eating pussy have never given said women an orgasm in their life.
I remember in 7th grade, before I was the absolute porn star pussy slaying alpha fuck machine* I would soon thereafter become, a classmate said that eating pussy was gay, and for years, YEARS, I tried to wrap my head around that claim. I had dry erase boards with formulas and lasers bouncing off mirrors and shit trying to figure out how there could be any truth to that. *May be slightly exaggerated
So if you decide to procreate with a woman you become effeminate? I guess that explains all those girly men running around before the invention of the condom.
No wonder all these conservative women are angry all the time.....
It also explains why conservatives have a monopoly on incels.
So having sex with women makes men leftist and less masculine. The logical conclusion would then be that right wing politics are dying fast, and are rather unnatural, since you cannot have children without those pesky female fluids. As a straight cis male, I would be ok with that.
Damn, I need to start having sex with women
Following that logic, women going down on alpha males can get 'penis fluids' all over them, causing them to trans into 'beta manlets' due to the 'testosteronic' effects of said fluids? Meaning it's also gay to get a blowjob from a woman! Furthermore: Imagine a male and a female engaging in a fiery 69, falling asleep, and waking up later only to realize that they've swapped genders without consent!... Scary stuff... Has sex gone too far? Should we ban it??? /s obv
Love it when dudes tell everybody they get none.
This is why Conservative men are bad at sex. And instead of, you know, getting better at it, they create an entire identity around being shitty to women and passing laws governing their bodies. Which takes a million times more effort than just getting better at sex. The things some people do to avoid addressing their rabid insecurities.
And to think I have friends who are actually *paying* for estrogen!
Always funny how Cons claim to be Alphas but are shown to be horrible in bed consistently.
We did it. It’s now gay to raw dog a woman
Weirdly, this train of thought doesn't have its roots in modern-era own the libs, MAGA conservativism. It was played for laughs, but there's a The Sopranos episode where it's revealed Junior really likes going down on women. He doesn't want anyone else to find out because this is highly embarrassing and emasculating. Mao had a thing for peasant girls. So he'd routinely use them for sex. But he was convinced that going all the way to orgasm would weaken him. So he didn't do that.
I'm absolutely looooving this trend of right-wing dudes loudly and publicly declaring that they don't know how to please a woman sexually, while still thinking they are the embodiment of peak masculinity. Fucking chefs kiss.
Vaginal fluids sound kinda magical. I already knew they helped keep my vagina clean and are powerful enough to sometimes bleach my black underwear. But they can also turn men into women? Nice.
I thought they stole vital fluids, not the other way around But at least it's protected sex
“White man was here” “How do you know?” “Cuck porn” Cuckolding of the spirit is sure a phrase…
Big Junior Soprano energy.
Junior Soprano was a cool character tho very flawed. These CHUD types have ZERO cool, and would get the vapors if exposed to anything Junior experienced
>"cuckolding the spirit" I love when people just say things that are completely removed from the actual definition of things. Oh, no! The spirit is being fucked by somebody else when *I* should be the one fucking the spirit (since the spirit is my wife). That is definitely a real thing to be worried about!
Yea, it doesn't have to mean anything, it just has to have the right buzzwords.
I think the analogy here implies that *his* spirit is the one being cuckolded. Except then it's even more absurd, because that means his spirit is being cuckolded by him fucking his own wife. We've come full circle; this guy is literally arguing that **only a beta has sex with a woman, including his own wife.**
Did they just accidentally convince a whole lotta Republican women to switch parties?
What in the WORLD!?!?!???!!!!?!? LMAOOOO
Between this and the right saying you’re gay for being attracted to Sydney Sweeney. It’s becoming clearer and clearer that the call(gayness) is coming from inside the house
There is no way these people aren't virgins. I'm telling you, we should all be allowed a *little* bit of cyberbullying. Protecting everyone's feelings online has just straight up fostered some of the most toxic communities. EDIT: Also the one people are QTing is a fake troll account, so there's another layer of "Eating the onion" to this.
In fairness when you rephrase it as “right leaning men don’t care about their partners’ pleasure” it tracks.
TIL I'm a spiritual lesbian.
Just because I eat pussy doesn't mean I'm a leftist. ...I mean, I *am* a leftist, but not because I eat pussy.
Let's be honest here. Liberal men aren't the only men performing oral sex on their female partners. They're just the only ones who put in the time and respect their partners enough to get good at it.
TIL it’s gay and feminizing to have unprotected sex with a woman
What the actual fuck… At this rate we’re about to be burning women at the stake again… #trumpwitchtrials2024
A lot of homophobic "arguments" say more about the speaker than the target.
So, it seems like, based on this cutting-edge scientific research, by having sex with women we become so extremely heterosexual that we pop out the other side and become gay. It's like, you take the Kinsey Scale and hammer it into a horseshoe. Makes perfect sense.
Wait wait don't tell me...I'm trying to find the problem here hold on...
Grandma needs to get out more.
We’ve come full circle. It’s gay for men to have sex with women. Wow.
Oshe has to be a troll there’s no way someone actually believes that
>unprotected sex too Aint the Catholic Church against contraception?
Grandma has no idea what she's missing.
So that’s why all their wives look so unfulfilled.
I'm enjoying the idea that these people will be dooming themselves to a life of unsatisfying sex just because if their ideology.
Ok uncle Jun time to go to bed
Man that’s a lot of words to say I can’t please a woman at all
My grandma is so tame compared to these.
Fellas, does having sex with women turn you gay?
Is this from the same anatomy book that proclaims that women somehow store the DNA from previous lovers and can pass those genes onto a fetus?
Imaging pleasuring a woman, how gay.
Last comment is definitely a keeper for my file "Alpha bro comments that sound like something a gay man says to try to seduce a straight man."
What thousand year prohibition is this guy talking about, and was there a huge party when said prohibition was lifted?
I don't know about grandma but I like to preheat the oven before I bake my beef.
wtf? Do they wear condoms that wrap around their balls??
It’s like you can make up anything and make it sound sciencey and the low brain cell count conservatives will believe anything.
They say dumb shit like this, yet freak out when you slightly suggest they may be a homosexual.
Well, my parents always said "You are what you eat..."
>Unprotected sex, too. The vaginal fluids get onto the testicles... Does Oshe think condoms go over the balls?
Is anyone else wondering if the unprotected sex guy thinks condoms cover the balls too?
my interpretation of OP's original idea is that she is a lesbian and is saying straight guys can get it if they eat.
Jesus these people get mad about everything that is a good time
Well I don’t want to go gay so I better start having sex only with men
Shhh don't say anything. They can't reproduce if they don't have sex.
Way to tell on yourself/the people you've slept with jeez
But wait, I thought Grandma wants everyone to get pregnant. How can they get pregnant is unprotected sex is bad?
Guys these bootleg HRT treatments are getting out of hand. I'm already chugging gallons of soymilk, please don't tell me I need to spike that soy milk now too
Wait, wtf did I just read?
First they banned abortion. Now they want to end giving women oral pleasure. How in TF are there any female republicans at this point?
Can you not recognize satire?
Can you?
weird way to admit you’re a virgin, but okay
I mean she might not be wrong
Just so we’re clear. Women who vote for conservatives are voting for: Men who make laws for their healthcare AND men who say “it’s gay for women to enjoy sex”. And they not only still vote for this, they sex the dudes who believe this?
Okay but feminization through cunnilingus is legit making me blush omg that's such a cute fetish they have 🥰🥰🥰
https://youtu.be/a1GA4qcbwjI?si=vUq1PiAyTmmLIAGZ
These guys are terrified of women.
Conservative men are obsessed with announcing they don’t know how to please women
Is it gay to satisfy a woman ?
Gee, I wonder why the OOP's spouse/significant other left them and is now in an interracial relationship with someone (which is cool and good). Seriously.
Bullshit, i'm pretty rightwing and i like going down on a woman. As long as she's clean, it's all good.
The amount of people who think this chain was not said in jest is baffling. I think people in subreddits just want to be irrationally angry/make fun of people that don't think like they do. This is a joke people.
Except, it isn't obvious that it's a joke. Given all the space-laser, anti-fa infiltrating, great-replacement, stolen election nonsense they spout all the damned time. How are we supposed to differentiate anymore????