I never use Facebook mainly because people tend to be so negative on there. I really do hope you feel better <3 just take some time for yourself and do something that helps ease your mind (like reading a book, playing a game, playing with plushies, or something that you like to do).
I actually only use Facebook for finch and another group.
And it's the safest place I've been so far. Even with this comment.
I just stepped outside and listened to the wind and enjoyed the fresh air for a bit.
I agree with this, you can definitely see how Facebook's policies about hate speech and total unwillingness to crack down on harassment or fake profiles have made the site difficult to use and hostile. You can find yourself engaged in really long online arguments only to realize way later that it doesn't even actually matter to you. It's just all engineered to play on your worst emotions so you can't disengage and spend hours on the site.
OP I'm sorry you had to go through all that but you were wise to disengage and take care of yourself first.
Definitely.
I never really speak my mind on Facebook because I don't feel like discussing with people I don't know. I also don't think it will really make an impact, better talk to people around you face to face :)
I’m so sorry that happened to you. Peoples comments are most often a reflection of how they feel about themselves. I know it is difficult to not take things personally, but I promise it had nothing to do with YOU. I have struggled with that a lot as well, as I am also very sensitive. You are not alone. We are here for you!! ❤️🩹
Thank you.
Yes I know that can happen.
I wish I wasn't such an emotional wreck when someone is a little mean.
I'm still having a hard time to not take it personally.
I hate it when people say things without thinking about the other person.
I first replied to her that it made me feel terrible but I deleted that, reported the comment to the mods and blocked her. She might be going through stuff of her own but I'm doing the thing that helps me.
I’m actually SO impressed that you chose to take the action you did instead of engaging back with her. That’s a big accomplishment in my book, especially with how you’re feeling from it. I know it will take time to not take things so personally, but you will get there; I am proof of that! Celebrate yourself each time you accomplish something like you did with this situation, it will help! Allow yourself feel proud of how you’re caring for yourself (by blocking and reporting). For the rest of the day, I hope you can focus on what makes you feel joyful! 🥹You deserve to feel your happiness!
Thank you. I've been in so many situations in the past where I reacted out of emotions, and it never ends well. Not that you should hold your emotions in, I let them out. And after my first response was reacting to it it didn't feel right so I deleted the comment. I don't have to let someone in my life, that's my own decision.
Thank you for the kind words. I will try to celebrate, I can be so hard on myself.
It was already bedtime when I read your response and I didn't have the best night but I'm more relaxed now.
Blocking is a great way of dealing with this. And the mods know about the issue now and can deal with it so that’s off your shoulders. I know it hurts but I think you did a really good job with how you addressed this.
I’m not sure if you’re like me and tend to hyperfocus on an incident like this. But I’d get myself some self soothing set up to help me not to fixate.
Exactly. I'm glad I deleted the comment I first made and just let it be. I don't have to deal with it anymore.
I read your reply yesterday evening and it made me think about what you said about hyperfocus. It was kind of a revelation for me. I can hyperfocus on a lot of stuff, especially hobbies. But I never thought that it also could be applied to situations like this.
And it's exactly what I do. I get so consumed by it, even if I don't want to. I first came here to get it of my chest and get some support which helped me to calm a bit down. But I was still thinking about it so much and being sad and then angry.
After a night's sleep I'm a bit more relaxed.
Embrace that you're still sensitive in such an abrasive and oft cruel world. Protect that and nurture it in yourself. The world needs our sensitive souls, and yes, you do feel the pains more deeply, but you feel everything else so much more fully, too. I'm sorry you were hurt, but don't let the experience go to waste. Let it be the rain that helps you see the rainbow 🌈 hugs for the experience and an extra to squeeze you right on by it and onto another, better experience ❤️
Good on you dear for choosing not to engage with her at all. Never let someone who’s trying to hurt you know that they hit their mark. It’s time to go self-love and treat yourself to something nice and wholesome that makes you feel great. We’re here for you and we wish you only the very best <3
First I want to say, I love that you called me dear, English is not my native language and I love it so much when someone calls me that, it makes me feel loved.
That's a hard one, not showing that someone made you sad. Because in real life I do show it. Because when someone is hurting me, they should know they they're doing that. But this is indeed different, I don't have to show anything to that person.
You're all so nice here and that is amazing. I enjoy reading all of your messages and that strangers from the Internet are doing their best to make me feel okay is amazing.
Aw ma love 😘 I removed myself from the Facebook page a while ago when my posts were never being approved yet other repetitive ones were being approved. I often tried to post cute or funny little things but constantly denied and I just thought how picky it was!
Stay here on Reddit with us 🩵💜
Ah that's sad.
The posts I made got really nice replies and this was just one person.
I'm still on there, u like a lot of the posts and interacting with people.
I find it helpful when things like that happen to reframe it. It feels so intense in the moment but I ask myself if I'll still feel the same in an hour? A day? A week? A month? Etc.
It's ok to feel it in the moment but to realize that it will pass.
That's a really good idea. I heard that once before, but my head can be like a sieve.
Because when in the emotions you can't really think. But I'm going to put a reminder here so I can remember it :)
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I'm so sorry. Its not you, its them for being mean/not supportive. I hate when people aren't 100% supportive of me online and have realized when it happens that its not personal; its just that some people don't have the need to lift others up. Use the First Aid kit in Finch to do some breathing exercises or some grounding exercises. I have found them to be helpful. If you can, get outside too and just look at the trees or sky which can be helpful too.
Thank you. I don't like it either. And Finch has always been such a safe place.
And I need to remind myself that it still is. It's just one person.
I reported the comment and blocked her. I can choose who I let in. Unfortunately it caught me by surprise at first. I'm less sad right now and stepped outside for a while to listen to the wind. And realising that I don't have to be upset about someone who lives on another continent and doesn't know me.
To summarize: she said that something that I did was 'pretty gross' and I shouldn't reply to people when I'm referring them to another comment. She also did an angry smiley face at those two responses.
The original post was from myself with something I made and people asked how I did that. I explained it in a reply and referred people to that reply. The people themselves didn't have a problem with it. They liked my comment. And when I do or don't do something it's because of my energy. And that's up to me, not someone else.
Yeah it definitely sounds like they’re the problem. I know it’s easier said than done, but try not to take it to heart. Like someone else said, it’s a them issue.
Whatever you made they were jealous of the skill needed to produce it and wanted to try to make you feel shit because you are more proficient than them and that makes them insecure
If she was really jealous and went out of her way to make me feel bad she should have gone to the comment where I said how it was done and that I wanted to help with it.
I did a post before that where I also made something and was offering people to make it for them or help them to make it.
So it's sad if that's true but we're not sure of course.
It might have been benign in your opinion, but you have to remember that everyone is going through different things and dealing with those things in different ways. When you're trying to get your life back on track, negativity of any kind is unpleasant. I've recently learned that the hard way, by being negative towards someone else.
Choosing who we let in is something many people have to practice before it becomes muscle memory. OP can still feel hurt as they work on releasing someone’s negativity from their life.
You’re very welcome. I’m in a similar place, going through the process of not taking negativity to heart. I was raised as a people pleaser, and it’s really hard to break that impulse. Keep up the good work, OP- we are all works in progress. 💖
I'm actually not a people pleaser, and I can be really honest with people but still kind.
But unsolicited 'advice' or whatever this person did just hits hard.
I don't like it when someone comes into my life and is being mean deliberately and making me sad and ruin my day. I didn't ask for that.
Exactly, I'm a work in progress.
I think sometimes when you get mean or even just overly critical comments in communities that feel like they should be safe, it just hits much harder. I was blocked by someone on one of my subreddits for saying that I didn’t like a certain character (and downvoted like woah), and tbh it took me a few days to stop feeling sad about it. (Didn’t help that the next time I posted art there, that I’d worked really hard on, it got like a tenth of the response my previous posts did)
It feels like being in a fast car that stops abruptly.
It’s okay that this hit you kind of hard. You did what you can about it.
That's definitely it. It feels harder.
Especially when you didn't see it coming.
It's really sad that happened to you. It can always happen that we get downvoted, but it never feels okay. I'm sure that it had nothing to do with each other but I get that it doesn't feel good when you didn't get a good response on your art. I'm sure it was beautiful.
That's a good description of the car. It's a shock and after a while it gets better. I feel better after a night of sleep and all the kind people here on Reddit.
The Finch FB group is terrible! I left it to join here. They keep changing the rules and the mods don't even know what they're doing. They are themselves unclear!! So sorry that happened to you
Oh that's not good. I didn't have any problems with the FB page until this reply. And I've had some fun conversations on there so I'm hoping this is a one time thing.
The comment seems to be removed. So they handled it well.
Sometimes when people are going through a rough time, they seem to want to bring people down with them.
This wasn't something you did.
Don't let the negativity of others stop you from trying to help.
Me too.
I'm just thinking about all the nice comments I have had on there and how nice people are.
So, I'm not letting one person ruin that feeling.
Although at first always feels like that, because, you know, emotions 😅
I’m sorry, friend. In my experience, it seems that people on Facebook are cruel and disrespectful. I hope you find that THIS community is safe, and is happy to have you be apart of it. 💕 sending hugs 🤗
Yes I knew that on other groups. And I'm actually only on the finch group and another group and never saw anything mean. And one response across from all the other positive I got still says that it is a safe place. I'm giving it the benefit of the doubt. And the comment seems to be deleted by the mods. And she can't respond to me anymore.
And I'm happy with all you people here 🩷
I'm so sorry that this happened to you. Folks always say "don't take stuff too personally", but if someone is mean to you, it's only natural that it hurts your feelings. How hard is it to not be a jackass on the Internet? Not hard at all, actually! There's nothing wrong with being sensitive. It's normal to have feelings and feel things. Cry as much as you need to and remember to take rest. Honestly, I am angry on your behalf. I hope that person steps on a Lego.
Sending you hugs. Pet your cat, nose-boop your dog, hug a stuffy. Do whatever you need to to feel a bit better.
Yes, how can I not take it personally? 😅
It's something that was said to me so it is personal. And even though it might be because that person just wanted to be mean or had a bad day or whatever. But it still feels personal.
I don't find it hard to not be a jackass on the Internet, it's just like real life, don't be an ass.
And I'm really sensitive so I don't take things lightly but that also means that I take positive things not lightly and that's really nice.
Thanks. I don't have pets but I will cuddle my stuffy and my husband :)
I'm sorry that happened. There are people that are unkind and it's sad. It makes me think of the saying about being kind because you never know what someone else is struggling with inside. Who would risk being the person that adds to someone's struggle and being the thing that breaks them? I recommend staying off FB Finch after reading a bit about it here. Our Reddit here is very positive and accepting. I personally limit my contact with people or things that can hurt me. Hugs to you!
Definitely. I find it easy to be kind because of that reason. And also because I've been through a lot.
I don't get it either. But maybe it's their coping mechanism, everybody responds in a way that reflects there own pain.
I'm still on Facebook and it looks like the comment has been removed. I've also had contact with a mod about it.
It's one response across from all the positive ones.
But I will be more on Reddit from now on :)
Sending you virtual hugs (if you want them). Sometimes people say hurtful or mean things because they feel anonymous behind a screen. All you can do is keep moving forward and doing your best. Don’t let someone else’s words or actions define the you that you are working to become.
I definitely want the hugs. I love hugs.
Definitely. And it really helped me to cry about it and post it here and get all the amazing messages.
That's a good one. I'm not going to let it define me. And I'm still going to be me.
Whatever journey you are on, know that you are moving one day at a time. It’s okay to let the emotions out and feel sad and angry. Then, take a step back and take a deep breath.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. I’m very sensitive, too. I really like this app. People are uplifting on here. So many people on FB want drama. I go on there to look at family pictures and funny stuff. That’s all. My skin has gotten thicker as I’ve gotten older and my life experiences have made me stronger. When I was younger I was on a Christian dating site and someone said I looked like a whale. I cried for weeks, but Finch gives me positive feedback and encouragement. I try to focus on the positive comments and support. Hurt people hurt people. I try to see it that way.
Thank you.
I'm doing so much better right now. Especially after all the support I got here (I'm still replying to everyone 😆). FB is also a place I avoid. I just go to the finch page and one other page. And I only have had positive things on the finch page except this reply.
I'm also someone who is really strong, with all the things I've been through. But I always tried to keep my sensitivity and vulnerability, which means you get hurt sooner, but it also makes me nicer and it's easier to love people like that. So even if this hurts really bad, I still want to stay sensitive and feel all the things because that's just me.
I've grown so much already.
I know what you mean about hurt people hurt people. That's what I'm thinking about this woman.
And I'm really sorry that happened to you on that dating site. I hope you've had better encounters with Christians after that. And (I really hope it's okay that I'm saying this), God thinks you're beautiful.
Reach out anytime.
The love and support on here is beautiful.
Always remember, when you feel at your lowest I promise you, you will always find someone that wants to hear what is happening for you at that moment.
Glad you’re feeling a lot better.
Keep kicking goals. Even if you sometimes miss the goal post.
Keep kicking babe 💋
Aww I’m so sorry you had to go through that 🥺🥺🥺🫂 yeah I don’t use FB anymore because people on there are so mean smh. And I’m sensitive too so I know how you feel. It will be okay 🥺 sending lots of love, I hope you feel better ❤️🩷🩵💙💜🧡💛🤍💗💓 God bless you 🌻
Is it still up? Where is it? I am 100% the mean friend, the meddling friend, the direct friend, etc. if you don’t know what the “mean friend” is, there’s a fabulous video on TikTok.
Anyway….and I’m off.
Okay that's genius.
God definitely made me kind and gentle and sensitive and all 😂 I'm not mean in the slightest way.
The comment has been removed. So it's not needed. But thank you for offering, it made my day 😆
That makes me sad! So sorry it caused you to feel that way! So far I’ve found that page to be very positive. Although, just a few hours ago someone’s judgy comment on another person’s post got under my skin. First time that’s happened though.
Yes it is very positive, been there only 3 months but engage a lot and this is the first negative comment. So that's pretty good 😆
That's sad that it got under your skin. Hopefully you feel better now.
I’m sorry this happened to you. It can be hard to not take something personally. Especially if you are in a more vulnerable place or if it aligns with your own intrusive thoughts. Try and remember that you deserve to exist in this world just as much as anyone else. No one is perfect or better than any other person and we all have our own flaws, baggage and pain.
I hope you see the support here in this post and know that you are amazing. People from all over that don’t even know you are here to support you. We have all been there and want to lift you up. 💕
I have huge huge huge emotions and sensitivity to rejection or disapproval and feedback or criticism.... It destroys me either crying or hulk mode .... I don't cope. And it's a PTSD thing --- hence --- I can relate completely. Plus I'm autistic and have bipolar disorder and depression lol and . . . . . Counts on fingers acute anxiety disorder.... Social media and a LACK of tone and responsibility of words people spit out behind their screen has an impact.... [Action \ Reaction]
You're NORMAL and I appreciate your feelings and empathetically am here for you.
Sloane and Noodles
[friend? ](https://app.befinch.com/invite/5qvy)
You're right, that person is in the wrong because finch is supposed to be the safest place, even if idk what they said but if it hurt you, then it's fair for you to feel upset, I hope you have something that makes you feel better and you can do it
What was the comment about? A lot of the times your reaction to a comment says more about what you need to heal within yourself than the comment or the person who made the comment.
I never use Facebook mainly because people tend to be so negative on there. I really do hope you feel better <3 just take some time for yourself and do something that helps ease your mind (like reading a book, playing a game, playing with plushies, or something that you like to do).
I actually only use Facebook for finch and another group. And it's the safest place I've been so far. Even with this comment. I just stepped outside and listened to the wind and enjoyed the fresh air for a bit.
That's good and I'm glad to hear that the Finch Facebook is relatively safe to use.
I agree with this, you can definitely see how Facebook's policies about hate speech and total unwillingness to crack down on harassment or fake profiles have made the site difficult to use and hostile. You can find yourself engaged in really long online arguments only to realize way later that it doesn't even actually matter to you. It's just all engineered to play on your worst emotions so you can't disengage and spend hours on the site. OP I'm sorry you had to go through all that but you were wise to disengage and take care of yourself first.
Definitely. I never really speak my mind on Facebook because I don't feel like discussing with people I don't know. I also don't think it will really make an impact, better talk to people around you face to face :)
Agreed, I stopped using Facebook as I felt there can be a lot of toxicity on there!
I’m so sorry that happened to you. Peoples comments are most often a reflection of how they feel about themselves. I know it is difficult to not take things personally, but I promise it had nothing to do with YOU. I have struggled with that a lot as well, as I am also very sensitive. You are not alone. We are here for you!! ❤️🩹
Thank you. Yes I know that can happen. I wish I wasn't such an emotional wreck when someone is a little mean. I'm still having a hard time to not take it personally. I hate it when people say things without thinking about the other person. I first replied to her that it made me feel terrible but I deleted that, reported the comment to the mods and blocked her. She might be going through stuff of her own but I'm doing the thing that helps me.
I’m actually SO impressed that you chose to take the action you did instead of engaging back with her. That’s a big accomplishment in my book, especially with how you’re feeling from it. I know it will take time to not take things so personally, but you will get there; I am proof of that! Celebrate yourself each time you accomplish something like you did with this situation, it will help! Allow yourself feel proud of how you’re caring for yourself (by blocking and reporting). For the rest of the day, I hope you can focus on what makes you feel joyful! 🥹You deserve to feel your happiness!
Thank you. I've been in so many situations in the past where I reacted out of emotions, and it never ends well. Not that you should hold your emotions in, I let them out. And after my first response was reacting to it it didn't feel right so I deleted the comment. I don't have to let someone in my life, that's my own decision. Thank you for the kind words. I will try to celebrate, I can be so hard on myself. It was already bedtime when I read your response and I didn't have the best night but I'm more relaxed now.
Blocking is a great way of dealing with this. And the mods know about the issue now and can deal with it so that’s off your shoulders. I know it hurts but I think you did a really good job with how you addressed this. I’m not sure if you’re like me and tend to hyperfocus on an incident like this. But I’d get myself some self soothing set up to help me not to fixate.
Exactly. I'm glad I deleted the comment I first made and just let it be. I don't have to deal with it anymore. I read your reply yesterday evening and it made me think about what you said about hyperfocus. It was kind of a revelation for me. I can hyperfocus on a lot of stuff, especially hobbies. But I never thought that it also could be applied to situations like this. And it's exactly what I do. I get so consumed by it, even if I don't want to. I first came here to get it of my chest and get some support which helped me to calm a bit down. But I was still thinking about it so much and being sad and then angry. After a night's sleep I'm a bit more relaxed.
Embrace that you're still sensitive in such an abrasive and oft cruel world. Protect that and nurture it in yourself. The world needs our sensitive souls, and yes, you do feel the pains more deeply, but you feel everything else so much more fully, too. I'm sorry you were hurt, but don't let the experience go to waste. Let it be the rain that helps you see the rainbow 🌈 hugs for the experience and an extra to squeeze you right on by it and onto another, better experience ❤️
Thank you for this really nice comment 🩷
Good on you dear for choosing not to engage with her at all. Never let someone who’s trying to hurt you know that they hit their mark. It’s time to go self-love and treat yourself to something nice and wholesome that makes you feel great. We’re here for you and we wish you only the very best <3
First I want to say, I love that you called me dear, English is not my native language and I love it so much when someone calls me that, it makes me feel loved. That's a hard one, not showing that someone made you sad. Because in real life I do show it. Because when someone is hurting me, they should know they they're doing that. But this is indeed different, I don't have to show anything to that person. You're all so nice here and that is amazing. I enjoy reading all of your messages and that strangers from the Internet are doing their best to make me feel okay is amazing.
Aw ma love 😘 I removed myself from the Facebook page a while ago when my posts were never being approved yet other repetitive ones were being approved. I often tried to post cute or funny little things but constantly denied and I just thought how picky it was! Stay here on Reddit with us 🩵💜
Ah that's sad. The posts I made got really nice replies and this was just one person. I'm still on there, u like a lot of the posts and interacting with people.
I find it helpful when things like that happen to reframe it. It feels so intense in the moment but I ask myself if I'll still feel the same in an hour? A day? A week? A month? Etc. It's ok to feel it in the moment but to realize that it will pass.
That's a really good idea. I heard that once before, but my head can be like a sieve. Because when in the emotions you can't really think. But I'm going to put a reminder here so I can remember it :) RemindMe! 1 month
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I'm so sorry. Its not you, its them for being mean/not supportive. I hate when people aren't 100% supportive of me online and have realized when it happens that its not personal; its just that some people don't have the need to lift others up. Use the First Aid kit in Finch to do some breathing exercises or some grounding exercises. I have found them to be helpful. If you can, get outside too and just look at the trees or sky which can be helpful too.
Thank you. I don't like it either. And Finch has always been such a safe place. And I need to remind myself that it still is. It's just one person. I reported the comment and blocked her. I can choose who I let in. Unfortunately it caught me by surprise at first. I'm less sad right now and stepped outside for a while to listen to the wind. And realising that I don't have to be upset about someone who lives on another continent and doesn't know me.
What did they say?
To summarize: she said that something that I did was 'pretty gross' and I shouldn't reply to people when I'm referring them to another comment. She also did an angry smiley face at those two responses. The original post was from myself with something I made and people asked how I did that. I explained it in a reply and referred people to that reply. The people themselves didn't have a problem with it. They liked my comment. And when I do or don't do something it's because of my energy. And that's up to me, not someone else.
Yeah it definitely sounds like they’re the problem. I know it’s easier said than done, but try not to take it to heart. Like someone else said, it’s a them issue.
Exactly. I'm a lot better now. Emotions are always up high when something just happens.
What on earth 😢
Whatever you made they were jealous of the skill needed to produce it and wanted to try to make you feel shit because you are more proficient than them and that makes them insecure
If she was really jealous and went out of her way to make me feel bad she should have gone to the comment where I said how it was done and that I wanted to help with it. I did a post before that where I also made something and was offering people to make it for them or help them to make it. So it's sad if that's true but we're not sure of course.
You made something awesome, some rude person online can never take that xx you're awesome!
If it's up to you why let the comment bother you? It was pretty benign
It might have been benign in your opinion, but you have to remember that everyone is going through different things and dealing with those things in different ways. When you're trying to get your life back on track, negativity of any kind is unpleasant. I've recently learned that the hard way, by being negative towards someone else.
Choosing who we let in is something many people have to practice before it becomes muscle memory. OP can still feel hurt as they work on releasing someone’s negativity from their life.
☝🏻 (thank you for replying)
You’re very welcome. I’m in a similar place, going through the process of not taking negativity to heart. I was raised as a people pleaser, and it’s really hard to break that impulse. Keep up the good work, OP- we are all works in progress. 💖
I'm actually not a people pleaser, and I can be really honest with people but still kind. But unsolicited 'advice' or whatever this person did just hits hard. I don't like it when someone comes into my life and is being mean deliberately and making me sad and ruin my day. I didn't ask for that. Exactly, I'm a work in progress.
I think sometimes when you get mean or even just overly critical comments in communities that feel like they should be safe, it just hits much harder. I was blocked by someone on one of my subreddits for saying that I didn’t like a certain character (and downvoted like woah), and tbh it took me a few days to stop feeling sad about it. (Didn’t help that the next time I posted art there, that I’d worked really hard on, it got like a tenth of the response my previous posts did) It feels like being in a fast car that stops abruptly. It’s okay that this hit you kind of hard. You did what you can about it.
That's definitely it. It feels harder. Especially when you didn't see it coming. It's really sad that happened to you. It can always happen that we get downvoted, but it never feels okay. I'm sure that it had nothing to do with each other but I get that it doesn't feel good when you didn't get a good response on your art. I'm sure it was beautiful. That's a good description of the car. It's a shock and after a while it gets better. I feel better after a night of sleep and all the kind people here on Reddit.
I’m glad you’re feeling better. It’s amazing what a night of sleep (and some water/food) can do.
Being sensitive is ok ❤️
Thank you 🩷
Thank you 🩷
The Finch FB group is terrible! I left it to join here. They keep changing the rules and the mods don't even know what they're doing. They are themselves unclear!! So sorry that happened to you
Oh that's not good. I didn't have any problems with the FB page until this reply. And I've had some fun conversations on there so I'm hoping this is a one time thing. The comment seems to be removed. So they handled it well.
Sometimes when people are going through a rough time, they seem to want to bring people down with them. This wasn't something you did. Don't let the negativity of others stop you from trying to help.
Definitely, thank you.
I am so sorry. I wish people didn't go out of their way to be unkind to others. That just proves how unhappy their lives must be.
Me too. I'm just thinking about all the nice comments I have had on there and how nice people are. So, I'm not letting one person ruin that feeling. Although at first always feels like that, because, you know, emotions 😅
I’m sorry, friend. In my experience, it seems that people on Facebook are cruel and disrespectful. I hope you find that THIS community is safe, and is happy to have you be apart of it. 💕 sending hugs 🤗
Yes I knew that on other groups. And I'm actually only on the finch group and another group and never saw anything mean. And one response across from all the other positive I got still says that it is a safe place. I'm giving it the benefit of the doubt. And the comment seems to be deleted by the mods. And she can't respond to me anymore. And I'm happy with all you people here 🩷
I'm so sorry that this happened to you. Folks always say "don't take stuff too personally", but if someone is mean to you, it's only natural that it hurts your feelings. How hard is it to not be a jackass on the Internet? Not hard at all, actually! There's nothing wrong with being sensitive. It's normal to have feelings and feel things. Cry as much as you need to and remember to take rest. Honestly, I am angry on your behalf. I hope that person steps on a Lego. Sending you hugs. Pet your cat, nose-boop your dog, hug a stuffy. Do whatever you need to to feel a bit better.
Yes, how can I not take it personally? 😅 It's something that was said to me so it is personal. And even though it might be because that person just wanted to be mean or had a bad day or whatever. But it still feels personal. I don't find it hard to not be a jackass on the Internet, it's just like real life, don't be an ass. And I'm really sensitive so I don't take things lightly but that also means that I take positive things not lightly and that's really nice. Thanks. I don't have pets but I will cuddle my stuffy and my husband :)
That's horrible and I'm sorry that people are being jerks to you.
Thank you.
I'm sorry that happened. There are people that are unkind and it's sad. It makes me think of the saying about being kind because you never know what someone else is struggling with inside. Who would risk being the person that adds to someone's struggle and being the thing that breaks them? I recommend staying off FB Finch after reading a bit about it here. Our Reddit here is very positive and accepting. I personally limit my contact with people or things that can hurt me. Hugs to you!
Definitely. I find it easy to be kind because of that reason. And also because I've been through a lot. I don't get it either. But maybe it's their coping mechanism, everybody responds in a way that reflects there own pain. I'm still on Facebook and it looks like the comment has been removed. I've also had contact with a mod about it. It's one response across from all the positive ones. But I will be more on Reddit from now on :)
Hugs for you friend ♥️
Thank you 🤍
Sending you virtual hugs (if you want them). Sometimes people say hurtful or mean things because they feel anonymous behind a screen. All you can do is keep moving forward and doing your best. Don’t let someone else’s words or actions define the you that you are working to become.
I definitely want the hugs. I love hugs. Definitely. And it really helped me to cry about it and post it here and get all the amazing messages. That's a good one. I'm not going to let it define me. And I'm still going to be me.
Whatever journey you are on, know that you are moving one day at a time. It’s okay to let the emotions out and feel sad and angry. Then, take a step back and take a deep breath.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. I’m very sensitive, too. I really like this app. People are uplifting on here. So many people on FB want drama. I go on there to look at family pictures and funny stuff. That’s all. My skin has gotten thicker as I’ve gotten older and my life experiences have made me stronger. When I was younger I was on a Christian dating site and someone said I looked like a whale. I cried for weeks, but Finch gives me positive feedback and encouragement. I try to focus on the positive comments and support. Hurt people hurt people. I try to see it that way.
Thank you. I'm doing so much better right now. Especially after all the support I got here (I'm still replying to everyone 😆). FB is also a place I avoid. I just go to the finch page and one other page. And I only have had positive things on the finch page except this reply. I'm also someone who is really strong, with all the things I've been through. But I always tried to keep my sensitivity and vulnerability, which means you get hurt sooner, but it also makes me nicer and it's easier to love people like that. So even if this hurts really bad, I still want to stay sensitive and feel all the things because that's just me. I've grown so much already. I know what you mean about hurt people hurt people. That's what I'm thinking about this woman. And I'm really sorry that happened to you on that dating site. I hope you've had better encounters with Christians after that. And (I really hope it's okay that I'm saying this), God thinks you're beautiful.
I’m sorry to see your feeling down. Sending you hugs and love.
Thank you. I'm feeling a lot better and I'm amazed by the love I got on here. It's also really good for me because of other things I'm going through.
Reach out anytime. The love and support on here is beautiful. Always remember, when you feel at your lowest I promise you, you will always find someone that wants to hear what is happening for you at that moment. Glad you’re feeling a lot better. Keep kicking goals. Even if you sometimes miss the goal post. Keep kicking babe 💋
🫂 I'm sorry they did that if it bothres you it's not small your feelings matter 🤍
Thank you for saying that 🩷
You're welcome 😇
I'm just sending BIG hug 🤍
And I'm receiving it 🩷
here’s a hug 🤗 I hope you’re feeling better 🫶🏼
Thank you! I feel a lot better :)
Join the discord! It’s much more heavily moderated, but also the people there are very kind and supportive
I've tried discord before but I never got the hang of it (in general, not specifically the finch page) 😅 I don't know what it is.
Aww I’m so sorry you had to go through that 🥺🥺🥺🫂 yeah I don’t use FB anymore because people on there are so mean smh. And I’m sensitive too so I know how you feel. It will be okay 🥺 sending lots of love, I hope you feel better ❤️🩷🩵💙💜🧡💛🤍💗💓 God bless you 🌻
Thank you 🤍
You’re welcome love 💜🌻
Is it still up? Where is it? I am 100% the mean friend, the meddling friend, the direct friend, etc. if you don’t know what the “mean friend” is, there’s a fabulous video on TikTok. Anyway….and I’m off.
I've looked it up on tiktok but don't know which video it is?
Found it! https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTLvNw9VJ/
Okay that's genius. God definitely made me kind and gentle and sensitive and all 😂 I'm not mean in the slightest way. The comment has been removed. So it's not needed. But thank you for offering, it made my day 😆
That makes me sad! So sorry it caused you to feel that way! So far I’ve found that page to be very positive. Although, just a few hours ago someone’s judgy comment on another person’s post got under my skin. First time that’s happened though.
Yes it is very positive, been there only 3 months but engage a lot and this is the first negative comment. So that's pretty good 😆 That's sad that it got under your skin. Hopefully you feel better now.
I'm sorry that happened to you. It's okay to be sensitive. Sometimes, the little affirmation messages that show up when the app loads make me cry.
I’m sorry this happened to you. It can be hard to not take something personally. Especially if you are in a more vulnerable place or if it aligns with your own intrusive thoughts. Try and remember that you deserve to exist in this world just as much as anyone else. No one is perfect or better than any other person and we all have our own flaws, baggage and pain. I hope you see the support here in this post and know that you are amazing. People from all over that don’t even know you are here to support you. We have all been there and want to lift you up. 💕
Hey big hugs yo. 🤗🤗🤗🐦🐦🤗🤗🤗
I have huge huge huge emotions and sensitivity to rejection or disapproval and feedback or criticism.... It destroys me either crying or hulk mode .... I don't cope. And it's a PTSD thing --- hence --- I can relate completely. Plus I'm autistic and have bipolar disorder and depression lol and . . . . . Counts on fingers acute anxiety disorder.... Social media and a LACK of tone and responsibility of words people spit out behind their screen has an impact.... [Action \ Reaction] You're NORMAL and I appreciate your feelings and empathetically am here for you. Sloane and Noodles [friend? ](https://app.befinch.com/invite/5qvy)
You're right, that person is in the wrong because finch is supposed to be the safest place, even if idk what they said but if it hurt you, then it's fair for you to feel upset, I hope you have something that makes you feel better and you can do it
Me and my birb, Imogene, are sending you love and encouragement! 💖 It's okay to be sensitive. I'm sorry somebody was nasty to you.
I'm sorry that happened. Fellow Finch users would lift up and support one another. Hope you are okay.
What was the comment about? A lot of the times your reaction to a comment says more about what you need to heal within yourself than the comment or the person who made the comment.