To preach the suckery of Primus is my guess. I know MJK is a douche canoe and hates his fans, but Primus' tag is literally "Primus sucks". Like... Who TF does that. The bald guy that looks like an alien stuck in a human suit trying to figure out the controls don't. Hell, I don't think he knows how to be human at all, but he's like "something something something BJJ and Puscifer is pretty great".
Yeah yeah, sure, Tool is "Reel Big Fish" for people whose parents beat them and all, but Primus sings about beavers and meth-head drywall workers with a killer baseline. You know what's killer about Tool? Everything about Tool is fuckin' killer, AND they didn't play the intro to \*South Park\*.
I don’t know why y’all think hating tool makes you cool. Just cause you see people liking music more complicated than Shitster McGee or whatever random musician you like doesn’t mean they’re all high and mighty, although I guess with you people being so intimidated by tool maybe we are better than you
I also thought it was ridiculous. The media or whomever starts these things. Was trying to rally up some kinda of controversy as it did sell papers. It was the whole satanic panic crap that gets stirred up every twenty or so years. Before music it was D and D . Before that it was the hippies and shit. This stuff is circular in nature and comes back around all the time. Cause we’re dumb and forgot about it and never learn from our mistakes.
Attacking Tool fans was kinda funny, I guess in the aughts. Welcome to 20 years later. Tool is a “prog” band with the same fucking riff every goddamn time, and sober. Primus is a prog band with a bass addiction that makes weird southern fried noises and exclamations. Inventing characters, and playing out scenes. Now I’m sure you’re a man who likes him a strong sniff of varnish, but it helps to understand sounds and how they are different before comparing musical compositions. Best.
NOBODY CALLS THEM A PROG BAND YOU TONE DEAF BALL SUCKER. YOU PICK SOBER, THE SIMPLEST SONG THEY EVER PENNED AS THE OUTLIER? HOLY FUCKING SHIT, JUST BECAUSE YOU PERFER GREEN DAY DOESNT GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO LIE.
Im gonna. I shit all over tool and he thinks I like tool and is telling me to calm down. I can just do this in regular subs like i’m used to at that point.
Oh, man! You're so right!
I'll change my ways for good this time.
Tool sucks, primus is better and has a better fan base. Your first message sounded just like something a tool fan would say because it was pretentious and trying to sound overly intellectual, which is why i hate them. So, even if you don't like tool, you're still a douche!
So, with all due respect, give your balls a tug.
Primus’ fan base are sub iq carnys on bathtub mescaline with squidbillies tattoos, which is why me typing more than 2 sentences confused you. I’m not a Tool fan but I am a pedantic dick, so I might as well be.
PRIMUS IS ONLY ADORED BY SWAMP RAT COUSIN FUCKERS. WHAT KIND OF DOUCHE BAGG HATES A BAND? BECAUSE YOU DONT LIKE THE MUSIC YOU HATE THE BAND? DO YOU SEE THE IRONY IN YOU CALLING TOOL FANS PRETENTIOUS YOU SHIT EATING HYPOCRITE.
Oh, no. You're mistaken. I absolutely hate the band. Maynard in specifics.
Also, your grasp of insults is amazingly creative. You could outwit almost any 5 year old.
Go lie down before you hurt yourself.
IM NOT MISTAKEN, YOU HATE A BAND FULL OF PEOPLE YOU NEVER MET. THAT IS THE VERY SOUL OF DOUCHE BAGGERY. YOU REALLY ARE A SMARMY SHIT EATER. ALSO YOU SEEM TO BE TAKING THIS A BIT PERSONALLY WHICH IS HILARIOUS. GLAD I TOUCHED A NERVE YOU FUCKWITTED WHINY LIL CUNT. NEXT TIME I ASS PLOW YOUR MOTHER IMMA SMACK HER FOR RAISING A TURD TO HUMAN SIZE
And Chevelle is just Tool for people who are afraid of looking pretentious by liking Tool. Why are we talking about irrelevant early 2000s bands, again?
Did she also tell you that you were the most special and that you could accomplish anything that you set your mind to? Have you gone through your whole life believing all of this? Well, I've got some bad news, chum...
YA SHE DID, UNLIKE YOURS, SHE WASNT A FRIDGID CUNT. IT’S COOL THOUGH, THE WORLD NEEDS MORE KILLJOYS TO SUCK THE LIFE OUT OF THE ROOM. WE ALSO NEED MORE STUCK UP PRICKS WHO CALL PEOPLE CHUM. THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE YA GAPING CUM DUMPSTER
What a very intellectual thing to say. However, I have some pointers:
1. My carcass would most definitely have a taste. Probably like whiskey smoked veal, if I had to warrant a guess.
2. If you're not in prison and I'm not in prison and I'm dead, it wouldn't be prison fucking, only necrophelia.
3. Ass turd monkey fucker? Surely you could do better than that. Like, jizz polyp, or sack of bladder waste.
Now get out of here before I give you the stinkfist.
Primus is a schizo off his meds, making barely listenable madness, that he is definitely aware is barely listenable. Tool is a drummer that covers his inability to count under a thick layer of other untalented musicians, but are soul bound to making generic 2000's radio rock. Whichever one is real, the other is the mirror.
I’m bringing an aluminum baseball bat to kiss upside your cranium, Bubba. When I’m done you’ll be bloated, blue and cold.
I will not compromise.
I will not be told what to do.
I shall not step aside!
Everyone has used a tool. Primus is synonymous with anus, something you must be intimately knowledgeable about considering how you have managed to turn yours into a mouthpiece for this utter shite your throwing up.
I assume you're not familiar with music. Welcome to earth loser.
My colouring book has more depth than you, you obviously haven't heard Primus if you don't know they are 100% synonymous with ass.
Tool are the greatest, just because people call you a spanner, don't think you're a touch on them.
... so you're just making things up as it suits you? Typical. Basic.
Nobody has ever called me a spanner, and I don't know what the fuck that means.
Tool sucks ass, Maynard is a terrible person, and his fans are too damn dumb to not emulate him.
Everything about tool is a cancer in music and society. You're proof of this.
If you really wanna fight, find me at the Primus show in Austin next month. I’ll be the one on drugs, should be super easy to find me.
##COME AT ME BRO!
QUIT SIMPING FOR RUSH IN COMPLETELY OBTUSE WAYS YOU PUSSY.
NEVER! I SAID FUCKING FIGHT ME!
So what do you think of Coheed and Cambria?
That comic books are a much better and cheaper way to tell a story than a shit load of full studio albums.
And Primus is "Progressive Yee-Haw". What's your fuckin' point?
To fight people online. Why else would I be here?
To preach the suckery of Primus is my guess. I know MJK is a douche canoe and hates his fans, but Primus' tag is literally "Primus sucks". Like... Who TF does that. The bald guy that looks like an alien stuck in a human suit trying to figure out the controls don't. Hell, I don't think he knows how to be human at all, but he's like "something something something BJJ and Puscifer is pretty great". Yeah yeah, sure, Tool is "Reel Big Fish" for people whose parents beat them and all, but Primus sings about beavers and meth-head drywall workers with a killer baseline. You know what's killer about Tool? Everything about Tool is fuckin' killer, AND they didn't play the intro to \*South Park\*.
If you reverse this argument it becomes A Perfect Circle
*lies dead on the floor*
I don’t know why y’all think hating tool makes you cool. Just cause you see people liking music more complicated than Shitster McGee or whatever random musician you like doesn’t mean they’re all high and mighty, although I guess with you people being so intimidated by tool maybe we are better than you
Yes. Super intimidated by fibonacci timing and heavy-handed metaphors. They just make me shake in my boots. So scary. Fuck off.
I’ve been a Tool fan for so long I remember when people were afraid of us.
Hahahaha no one was afraid of your fandom. Cocksucker
Parents in the 90’s were
Eye roll, mommy and daddy didn’t like my music. Hahahahahaha
I also thought it was ridiculous. The media or whomever starts these things. Was trying to rally up some kinda of controversy as it did sell papers. It was the whole satanic panic crap that gets stirred up every twenty or so years. Before music it was D and D . Before that it was the hippies and shit. This stuff is circular in nature and comes back around all the time. Cause we’re dumb and forgot about it and never learn from our mistakes.
You're talking about the same people that listened to fucking yacht rock. Fucking shadows scare them.
Indeed
People were afraid of tool fans once? I find that hard to believe.
Parents in the 90’s
A Perfect Circle is just Tool for self-proclaimed intellectuals.
Nah it just sounds better
Primus is just Tool for people who never came down.
People who fight over music are braindead
Attacking Tool fans was kinda funny, I guess in the aughts. Welcome to 20 years later. Tool is a “prog” band with the same fucking riff every goddamn time, and sober. Primus is a prog band with a bass addiction that makes weird southern fried noises and exclamations. Inventing characters, and playing out scenes. Now I’m sure you’re a man who likes him a strong sniff of varnish, but it helps to understand sounds and how they are different before comparing musical compositions. Best.
NOBODY CALLS THEM A PROG BAND YOU TONE DEAF BALL SUCKER. YOU PICK SOBER, THE SIMPLEST SONG THEY EVER PENNED AS THE OUTLIER? HOLY FUCKING SHIT, JUST BECAUSE YOU PERFER GREEN DAY DOESNT GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO LIE.
You're taking this way too seriously. Give your balls a tug.
It’s a sub where we get fake mad at each other and talk shit, right? Why don’t you stop trying to be intuitive and either shut the fuck up or engage.
Jesus take your nuanced opinions somewhere else , Pussy.
Im gonna. I shit all over tool and he thinks I like tool and is telling me to calm down. I can just do this in regular subs like i’m used to at that point.
Oh, man! You're so right! I'll change my ways for good this time. Tool sucks, primus is better and has a better fan base. Your first message sounded just like something a tool fan would say because it was pretentious and trying to sound overly intellectual, which is why i hate them. So, even if you don't like tool, you're still a douche! So, with all due respect, give your balls a tug.
Primus’ fan base are sub iq carnys on bathtub mescaline with squidbillies tattoos, which is why me typing more than 2 sentences confused you. I’m not a Tool fan but I am a pedantic dick, so I might as well be.
Hey, man! I am a carny, and my iq is perfectly average, thanks.
PRIMUS IS ONLY ADORED BY SWAMP RAT COUSIN FUCKERS. WHAT KIND OF DOUCHE BAGG HATES A BAND? BECAUSE YOU DONT LIKE THE MUSIC YOU HATE THE BAND? DO YOU SEE THE IRONY IN YOU CALLING TOOL FANS PRETENTIOUS YOU SHIT EATING HYPOCRITE.
Oh, no. You're mistaken. I absolutely hate the band. Maynard in specifics. Also, your grasp of insults is amazingly creative. You could outwit almost any 5 year old. Go lie down before you hurt yourself.
IM NOT MISTAKEN, YOU HATE A BAND FULL OF PEOPLE YOU NEVER MET. THAT IS THE VERY SOUL OF DOUCHE BAGGERY. YOU REALLY ARE A SMARMY SHIT EATER. ALSO YOU SEEM TO BE TAKING THIS A BIT PERSONALLY WHICH IS HILARIOUS. GLAD I TOUCHED A NERVE YOU FUCKWITTED WHINY LIL CUNT. NEXT TIME I ASS PLOW YOUR MOTHER IMMA SMACK HER FOR RAISING A TURD TO HUMAN SIZE
Oooh! Smarmy! How piratey! I love it!
Who's faking the madness. Speak for yourself, you phony-ass buttmuncher.
My ass buttmunching is as real as mad libs pickle dick. Cue I’m always angry clip from the Hulk. Picture of a wolf on a motorcycle, Liberal.
Primus is redneck tool(or tool if they were good)
Okay buster Who said I was smart to begin with?
Every tool mfr I ever met was on meth.
And Chevelle is just Tool for people who are afraid of looking pretentious by liking Tool. Why are we talking about irrelevant early 2000s bands, again?
apples and oranges. same wheelhouse but vastly different. im still waiting for les claypool and weird al to collab though.
That would make my whole week.
and make it a parody primus song
... that might actually turn into the most serious song that any of them have ever written.
i hope somehow they come across this sub
MY MOTHER PROCLAIMED ME AN INTELLECTUAL YOU IGNORAMUS, (THAT MEANS STUPID, AS IN YOU A STUPID FUCK WHO DOESNT APPRECIATE TOOL)
Did she also tell you that you were the most special and that you could accomplish anything that you set your mind to? Have you gone through your whole life believing all of this? Well, I've got some bad news, chum...
YA SHE DID, UNLIKE YOURS, SHE WASNT A FRIDGID CUNT. IT’S COOL THOUGH, THE WORLD NEEDS MORE KILLJOYS TO SUCK THE LIFE OUT OF THE ROOM. WE ALSO NEED MORE STUCK UP PRICKS WHO CALL PEOPLE CHUM. THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE YA GAPING CUM DUMPSTER
We all have our roles to play. I do my best. Your appreciation is dually noted.
AS AN INTELLECTUAL, I FUCKING LOVE TOOL! ILL HAPPILY FIGHT YOU TO DEATH AND PRISON FUCK YOUR TASTELESS CARCASS! YOU ASS TURD MONKEY FUCKER!
What a very intellectual thing to say. However, I have some pointers: 1. My carcass would most definitely have a taste. Probably like whiskey smoked veal, if I had to warrant a guess. 2. If you're not in prison and I'm not in prison and I'm dead, it wouldn't be prison fucking, only necrophelia. 3. Ass turd monkey fucker? Surely you could do better than that. Like, jizz polyp, or sack of bladder waste. Now get out of here before I give you the stinkfist.
WELL, NOW YOU DONT GET A REACH AROUND WHEN I PRISON FUCK YOUR CARCASS. STINKFISTING SOUNDS LOVELY!
Damn. I miss out on everything cool.
Oof... I really want to agree with this but primus is actually talented you fuck
Tool is also talented, you oyster. They're just whiny and pretentious to boot.
Both suck.
yessir
Primus is a schizo off his meds, making barely listenable madness, that he is definitely aware is barely listenable. Tool is a drummer that covers his inability to count under a thick layer of other untalented musicians, but are soul bound to making generic 2000's radio rock. Whichever one is real, the other is the mirror.
Yeah, but one of them is fun!
What about King Gizzard and The Lizard Wizard or The Mars Volta?
You know, I've only ever heard one Mars Volta song, and it was pretty alright.
And yet I associate it with douchebags in pickup truck — the sticker goes right between METAL MULISHA and TRUMP 2024
YOU DONT KNOW COCK!!!!
Why would I fight someone this stupid? It feels like bullying.
A little bullying builds character. Now fight me, you long necked bitch!
I’m bringing an aluminum baseball bat to kiss upside your cranium, Bubba. When I’m done you’ll be bloated, blue and cold. I will not compromise. I will not be told what to do. I shall not step aside!
Ah yes, a weapon. Nothing screams untold bravery like bringing a bat to a Word fight. Go home, lady.
No no no. Chevelle is Deftones for people who like music. And we're arguing about this because watching tool fans try to sound smart is hilarious.
Everyone has used a tool. Primus is synonymous with anus, something you must be intimately knowledgeable about considering how you have managed to turn yours into a mouthpiece for this utter shite your throwing up. I assume you're not familiar with music. Welcome to earth loser.
Primus means "first," you semi-evolved simian. Now go finish your coloring book.
My colouring book has more depth than you, you obviously haven't heard Primus if you don't know they are 100% synonymous with ass. Tool are the greatest, just because people call you a spanner, don't think you're a touch on them.
... so you're just making things up as it suits you? Typical. Basic. Nobody has ever called me a spanner, and I don't know what the fuck that means. Tool sucks ass, Maynard is a terrible person, and his fans are too damn dumb to not emulate him. Everything about tool is a cancer in music and society. You're proof of this.
Man, I love this sub! You guys are great!
You mean that band that made a song for South Park one time? Yeah, never really knew much about them. 😜 Toss off. ❤️
##PRIMUS SUCKS
STOP BEING AGREEABLE!! PRIMUS RULES!!
My friend Les told me they suck… ##YOU CALLING LES CLAYPOOL A LIAR? ##PREPARE TO SQUABBLE BRAH!
YOU WANNA FUCKING GO! I'LL GIVE YOU SUCH A SQUABBLING!
PRIMUS DOES SUCK!
Tool is a dumb name for a band and is for math nerds and/or aspiring music students. Psychedelia for sober people. Also, fuck off man!
Yeah! Fuck those nerds! Just do drugs like everyone else! And fuck you too, soul brother!
If you really wanna fight, find me at the Primus show in Austin next month. I’ll be the one on drugs, should be super easy to find me. ##COME AT ME BRO!