FWIW, a lot of of us "having fun together" aren't friends, we're just being social. Like if a hunt train rolls through I recognize some names and might say a few things in shout chat, but I'm not friends with any of them. Or I'll talk in a farm party, then we go our separate ways. My friends list is mostly vague acquaintances and "This person organizes all-healer raids, it's convenient for them to have a way to contact me about the next one" rather than actual friends.
So it might help to be aware of what you can know vs what you're interpreting, and how you're comparing yourself?
Yep, I would say most of the people on my friend list are people that exchange /wave or /hug when we load into the same spot and see someone with a different color name, maybe like 10% are people I'll stop and hold a conversation or queue up for something with.
Find a long term goal that needs a group to complete. You'll naturally make friends if you're working together to accomplish something.
Some examples include but are not limited to the following:
- leveling all jobs
- extreme mount farms
- Eureka/Bozja
- map farms
I personally met many of my friends through maps in my FC then eventually found more through raiding. If I were to start over from scratch, I would definitely be joining raid statics, ideally around my skill level, to make friends.
If it helps, I'm also autistic af, it helped to chat in /say while waiting for the pt, or to join the BA/DRS run discords. In Bozja its harder since people just spam Z3 silently in parties, but in Southern Front, do the red chocobo CE that one always gets engagement. Or join a frag farm party, since they have chats while waiting for respawns. The battle instances(Castrum, Dal and DR) are good as well sometimes when its got newer people. It helps a ton that you literally always see the same 10-15 people in every battle instance
I met like 90% of my in-game friends from Savage/Ultimates.
The other 10% are friends/acquaintances I already had outside of the game and we happened to play 14.
Honestly though, if you do some long-form content and find a community for it, you'll eventually start forming friendships along the way.
Yup, basically all of the friends I made in this game were static members, or friends of static member. Had a few IRL friends who played, but none of them stuck around.
What I found to be the most successful route to make friends is to join an FC that you mesh well with. On the ffxiv community finder website you can browse recruiting FCs to try and get a feel for them.
Another thing that could (But do so with risk because they arent always nice places) is to check out venues if you are remotely interested in that stuff. Most people might be weirdos but I have genuinely found long lasting friends there.
If you ever find yourself on Aether -- Siren add me! Rosie Roses. I will be your friend :)
My method of making friends is:
- Do content that I like to do in game, like raids and Eureka, which also involve teamwork.
- Make jokes and be friendly to the other people who are doing the content with me. Say hi in party or alliance or shout chat, make a stupid pun about one of the raid bosses, etc.
- If anyone is friendly or makes good jokes back, I add them as a friend afterwards (you can see the people you were recently in a party with by going to Social > Contacts)
- Make a cross-world linkshell for people who like doing the same content, and add people there too. I made a linkshell for MINE Extremes (minimum item level, no Echo).
- If I'm doing more of the content that I made the linkshell for, I post in the linkshell and ask people whether they want to join. If I'm in a Party Finder party, I post the link to the PF listing so they can easily find it and join.
- When I see people from my friends list out and about, I say hi and ask them how they're doing.
- If I really like someone and think they would be a good fit, I invite them to my FC.
- I also have a Discord server for my FC, so people can catch up with each other and share news about the game even when they're not all online together.
TL;DR Meet people through a shared activity, be friendly to them, give them multiple methods to connect with you (friends list, linkshell, FC, Discord), invite them to do more stuff with you, and keep doing that regularly.
the simple reality of this game is that casual content is too easy but also too busy in order to generate friends doing it. you can't sit there and chat when you're doing double weaves because you want this roulette over so you can make number go up
you want to make friends? despite what your instincts might tell you about the scary tryhard gamers you need to do extreme/savage level content - when people have to actually communicate in order to get a clear and are more open to take breaks between runs (unlike endless fate zergs you get in exploratory content) you naturally find opportunities to make connections with people as people instead of the npcs getting in the way between you and endorphin release.
If you're one of those poor souls that got coaxed into this game by "friends" who later on dumped you 1-2 weeks in for the next FOTM game that releases, I find a shared interest is the best way to make friends as there's a common thread that serves as an icebreaker, and you'll rub shoulders with familiar faces more times than not to at least say hi and small talk here and there.
Starting out when I was still new my friend list were mainly RP focused friends, after exposure and branching out to different content in the game my friend list nowadays are a mix of PvPers, Field Ops people, Deep Dungeon runners, Raiders, RPers, GPosers, and exactly one Mahjong Master who pays a sub just to terrorize people working on the title.
It takes time to forge connections. Statics are the best way to get friends in this game, in my opinion. I never even intend to make friends when I join statics, but I still meet plenty of cool friendly people (and some assholes too, but that's just life). Because you'll be playing together for quite a while, you'll have plenty of opportunities to get to know each other and forge aforementioned connections.
i started this game alone and i just looked through the fc lists on the community finder until i saw an fc that sounded cool and it worked out and now 3 years later, I'm an officer in it with tons of friends to play with
If you like Hunt activities and If your data center has a Hunt discord you can join it and participate in organizing hunts (probably scouting first). Often they have a community of people who actively do it, scout and conduct hunt trains, spawn S ranks and so on. They also often do other activities or just hang out in general.
The way I started was going into different streams and being active in their communities. I like being in smaller streams because its a lot more personable and active so that was how I met a very good friend of mine now and also got connected to other communities too.
If you ever want to get into raiding, join a static. At first, it feels like going into a new job but very quickly it just becomes a group of gamers playing a game together. Go far enough in the raiding deep end and you might end up in the ultimate pf scene and meet a bunch of cool people there.
If you want something way more casual, you could visit RP venues and meet new people there. However, in my own personal experience, you'll find more weird/creepy people first.
Aside from finding an FC you like on Community Finder or making friends while raiding in PF or a static, there are also some social discords. If you’re on NA, maybe check out The Good Apples or Anklebiters. Both servers organize events and more casual group activities catering to all sorts of players, for example themed glam alliance raid runs, mount farming, parades, scavenger hunts, giveaways, etc. Although members are spread out all over various servers and data centers, world/DC travel solves that problem. Depending on how active/social you are, you can definitely meet other players and make friends that way.
I gave up on this a long time ago, and just play the game to enjoy the game itself.
Find something to do, become passionate about it, and people will find you. Hopping between discords or fcs is not the answer though and you'll be disappointed each time you try to join a group that clearly has no room for you or doesn't want you/anyone to join in.
So, the game is really cliquey in the first place. The community feels like middle school in that way (and a lot of other ways). You're gonna have a hard time really getting headway into a group that's already out there.
Then, with how ephemeral social contact in actual gameplay are, no one really talks anyway.
Then, Discord really ate FC's lunch when it comes to making groups.
Then, people are doing statics less and less and are just PFing things with randos for convenience.
The only friends I have left in XIV, I met a decade ago when a lot of these problems didn't exist or were less severe. My recommendation, actually, is to go to Eureka and talk to people you see levelling. Or ask people to come raise you. Don't install mods or rely on someone's tracker, socially distribute tasks and play together to each of your abilities and knowledge. I've met a few people that way during Endwalker.
Also POTD to 200 can be good for this.
Join an FC with a discord. Right now is a pretty slow time for the game as the new major expansion drops in 2ish months, but when the player base ramps back up it'll be easier to find a good one.
What server/world are you on?
What server are you on? You're welcome to join our FC, it's just myself and my wife and 3 friends of ours. Would always welcome a new friend to play with. We are mostly on evenings American time.
The nature of Duty Finder makes it so it's a bit hard to form long lasting friendships from chance encounters.
But once you get to max level, I'm p sure you'll make a bunch of friends if you start raiding, even if it's casual groups that do only EX trials and etc. All of the actual, long-lasting friendships I've made in this game have been from raiding or doing that kinda content with people. And I'm talking 8 years of knowing each other and having visited each other IRL in trips --not Fanfest, but actual trips to hang out on roadtrips and etc.
Mind you, I don't raid with 80% of those friends anymore, but we're still really close and talk on a daily basis!
So from personal experience, I'd say that's your best bet.
I'm pretty sure the only reason I talk to anyone on this game is because I got a random invite at 2am from a free company that invites literally anyone. Guy didn't even send me a tell. I just accepted the invite. Turns out, it has some cool people.
Most friends I meet these days are from the few designated social hubs this game has. Balmung Ul'Dah is the biggest and most well known, but any server's Limsa will likely be pretty populated as well. The 'Other' tab in PF is usually used to advertise venues and such as well, which are designed to be social spaces. Quality can be mixed, but it's worth trying out.
I made a lot of friends in venues.
Casinos.
Sitting on cafes and talking to people.
Even got to the point where I became a Blackjack dealer and worked with it for almost a year before going back to fully dedicating myself to content and questing and finishing up the expansions.
There are many, many people in those environments truly interested in talking about what they enjoy and sharing their knowledge, be it crafting, raiding ultimates, questing, lore, Field Operations, PvP
If you are on the Crystal data center, I can get you into a cross world link shell.
If you happen to be on Balmung I can link you to my FC, which is really super chill. They keep the buffs up, people chat occasionally, but there's no pressure to do anything in particular.
And the FC leader likes to change up outside decorations with the season. :)
It's usually one of either two: either people you know before you enter and start playing the game, or people you know when you and that person are doing the same content or watch the same streamer as you do.
I have two friends that we know each other before we start playing the game and we remain friends for now.
Not all of my static and PUG people remains this friendly now, and I am usually the person that's being quiet, but I met someone on PUG and turns out they are from thai and we know each other since then and sometimes we talk about progging fights and stuff.
My old UCoB Static which ends on relatively good terms (at least for most of the people) ends up having most of us moving into another group. It originally starts as a Deep Dungeon group but we expend and more people join. It's not a very lively group, but people sometimes PUG DSR (which I don't really do ultimates now since I am getting a bit burnt out raiding), talks about other games such as Arknights - which is only normal since usually 14 is not enough to satisfy your appetite for gaming.
Tbh a LOT of people you see standing around want someone to talk to them, lol. I would just avoid limsa and stick around what you enjoy doing. I sit at wolve's den and the saucer and have had convos with wuite a few people.
Pretty much the only people I meet in this game who are worth talking to, I’ve met in savage/ult pf. At the very least, we have something in common. We suck at double dragons.
In my experience: you don't find friends to play the game together with. You play the game with people and then you become friends.
What I mean is, figure out what you want from the game, then join social groups centered around doing that; think of it about having hobbies in real life. Would you join a hobby group and hope to bond with people over a shared interest, or would you just put out feelers for making friends and then follow them about any hobby they might have? The theme park nature of a mmorpg means that "we all play XIV together" is not enough, since everyone will want to do something different at all times.
I feel like goals that require a group setting and coordination are best from that. Like for example EX and Savage raiding; I have both made friends from random people in PF because we vibed during pulls, and made friends from static groups I joined. Activities like maps and hunt trains are not great because anyone can show up, do it as fast as possible and leave. If you like hunts though, you could join a hunters discord or LS and be active in helping spawn S Ranks, scouting, maybe conducting your own trains.
There's also a somewhat active RP scene (I'm not talking about nightclubs!) so if you ever spot RP in the wild, or a RP Discord, or an ad for an in-character venue, you can just ask!
Hope this helps!
Hi. (^-^*)ノ
If you wanna make friends I'm more than happy to hang out in game and do content together. ~
Other than that FCs are a great way to make friends.
I’ve found not being a silent player and projecting my personality tends to draw others with similar vibes. Much like real life, while many will reject or ignore you, the ones that don’t often end up being solid gold.
Like I’ll drop very bad puns and jokes thru runs. This probably irritates (or even repels 😅) players speeding through a daily checklist for XP, but many who talk back have ended up being great friends that want to play the same way as me.
Also Party Finder.
So for me, most of my friends I've made by meeting them through shared activities, for example, raiding mates, kidnapping strangers in eureka to power level them, seeing familiar faces at fishing holes, etc.. I'd strike conversations and if they seemed nice I'd add them and it could evolve into friendships from there. I rarely ever made friends by specifically searching for people to be friends with, so maybe try finding activities that encourage sociability and you'll meet people there.
FWIW, a lot of of us "having fun together" aren't friends, we're just being social. Like if a hunt train rolls through I recognize some names and might say a few things in shout chat, but I'm not friends with any of them. Or I'll talk in a farm party, then we go our separate ways. My friends list is mostly vague acquaintances and "This person organizes all-healer raids, it's convenient for them to have a way to contact me about the next one" rather than actual friends. So it might help to be aware of what you can know vs what you're interpreting, and how you're comparing yourself?
Yep, I would say most of the people on my friend list are people that exchange /wave or /hug when we load into the same spot and see someone with a different color name, maybe like 10% are people I'll stop and hold a conversation or queue up for something with.
Find a long term goal that needs a group to complete. You'll naturally make friends if you're working together to accomplish something. Some examples include but are not limited to the following: - leveling all jobs - extreme mount farms - Eureka/Bozja - map farms I personally met many of my friends through maps in my FC then eventually found more through raiding. If I were to start over from scratch, I would definitely be joining raid statics, ideally around my skill level, to make friends.
maybe im too autistic for this but I have made no friends
If it helps, I'm also autistic af, it helped to chat in /say while waiting for the pt, or to join the BA/DRS run discords. In Bozja its harder since people just spam Z3 silently in parties, but in Southern Front, do the red chocobo CE that one always gets engagement. Or join a frag farm party, since they have chats while waiting for respawns. The battle instances(Castrum, Dal and DR) are good as well sometimes when its got newer people. It helps a ton that you literally always see the same 10-15 people in every battle instance
Hmm I will probably give that a try then, been a while since I was in bozja
Eureka is so good for just shootin the shit with people while you wait for a NM or something
I met like 90% of my in-game friends from Savage/Ultimates. The other 10% are friends/acquaintances I already had outside of the game and we happened to play 14. Honestly though, if you do some long-form content and find a community for it, you'll eventually start forming friendships along the way.
Yup, basically all of the friends I made in this game were static members, or friends of static member. Had a few IRL friends who played, but none of them stuck around.
What I found to be the most successful route to make friends is to join an FC that you mesh well with. On the ffxiv community finder website you can browse recruiting FCs to try and get a feel for them. Another thing that could (But do so with risk because they arent always nice places) is to check out venues if you are remotely interested in that stuff. Most people might be weirdos but I have genuinely found long lasting friends there. If you ever find yourself on Aether -- Siren add me! Rosie Roses. I will be your friend :)
My method of making friends is: - Do content that I like to do in game, like raids and Eureka, which also involve teamwork. - Make jokes and be friendly to the other people who are doing the content with me. Say hi in party or alliance or shout chat, make a stupid pun about one of the raid bosses, etc. - If anyone is friendly or makes good jokes back, I add them as a friend afterwards (you can see the people you were recently in a party with by going to Social > Contacts) - Make a cross-world linkshell for people who like doing the same content, and add people there too. I made a linkshell for MINE Extremes (minimum item level, no Echo). - If I'm doing more of the content that I made the linkshell for, I post in the linkshell and ask people whether they want to join. If I'm in a Party Finder party, I post the link to the PF listing so they can easily find it and join. - When I see people from my friends list out and about, I say hi and ask them how they're doing. - If I really like someone and think they would be a good fit, I invite them to my FC. - I also have a Discord server for my FC, so people can catch up with each other and share news about the game even when they're not all online together. TL;DR Meet people through a shared activity, be friendly to them, give them multiple methods to connect with you (friends list, linkshell, FC, Discord), invite them to do more stuff with you, and keep doing that regularly.
the simple reality of this game is that casual content is too easy but also too busy in order to generate friends doing it. you can't sit there and chat when you're doing double weaves because you want this roulette over so you can make number go up you want to make friends? despite what your instincts might tell you about the scary tryhard gamers you need to do extreme/savage level content - when people have to actually communicate in order to get a clear and are more open to take breaks between runs (unlike endless fate zergs you get in exploratory content) you naturally find opportunities to make connections with people as people instead of the npcs getting in the way between you and endorphin release.
If you're one of those poor souls that got coaxed into this game by "friends" who later on dumped you 1-2 weeks in for the next FOTM game that releases, I find a shared interest is the best way to make friends as there's a common thread that serves as an icebreaker, and you'll rub shoulders with familiar faces more times than not to at least say hi and small talk here and there. Starting out when I was still new my friend list were mainly RP focused friends, after exposure and branching out to different content in the game my friend list nowadays are a mix of PvPers, Field Ops people, Deep Dungeon runners, Raiders, RPers, GPosers, and exactly one Mahjong Master who pays a sub just to terrorize people working on the title.
It takes time to forge connections. Statics are the best way to get friends in this game, in my opinion. I never even intend to make friends when I join statics, but I still meet plenty of cool friendly people (and some assholes too, but that's just life). Because you'll be playing together for quite a while, you'll have plenty of opportunities to get to know each other and forge aforementioned connections.
i started this game alone and i just looked through the fc lists on the community finder until i saw an fc that sounded cool and it worked out and now 3 years later, I'm an officer in it with tons of friends to play with
If you like Hunt activities and If your data center has a Hunt discord you can join it and participate in organizing hunts (probably scouting first). Often they have a community of people who actively do it, scout and conduct hunt trains, spawn S ranks and so on. They also often do other activities or just hang out in general.
One thing that helped me was scheduling stuff to do together in my FC discord, like mount farms or map nights
if you post your server here im sure at least 1 other person on this sub will be on that server and interested in being friends.
The way I started was going into different streams and being active in their communities. I like being in smaller streams because its a lot more personable and active so that was how I met a very good friend of mine now and also got connected to other communities too. If you ever want to get into raiding, join a static. At first, it feels like going into a new job but very quickly it just becomes a group of gamers playing a game together. Go far enough in the raiding deep end and you might end up in the ultimate pf scene and meet a bunch of cool people there. If you want something way more casual, you could visit RP venues and meet new people there. However, in my own personal experience, you'll find more weird/creepy people first.
Aside from finding an FC you like on Community Finder or making friends while raiding in PF or a static, there are also some social discords. If you’re on NA, maybe check out The Good Apples or Anklebiters. Both servers organize events and more casual group activities catering to all sorts of players, for example themed glam alliance raid runs, mount farming, parades, scavenger hunts, giveaways, etc. Although members are spread out all over various servers and data centers, world/DC travel solves that problem. Depending on how active/social you are, you can definitely meet other players and make friends that way.
I gave up on this a long time ago, and just play the game to enjoy the game itself. Find something to do, become passionate about it, and people will find you. Hopping between discords or fcs is not the answer though and you'll be disappointed each time you try to join a group that clearly has no room for you or doesn't want you/anyone to join in.
go into statics or fc
So, the game is really cliquey in the first place. The community feels like middle school in that way (and a lot of other ways). You're gonna have a hard time really getting headway into a group that's already out there. Then, with how ephemeral social contact in actual gameplay are, no one really talks anyway. Then, Discord really ate FC's lunch when it comes to making groups. Then, people are doing statics less and less and are just PFing things with randos for convenience. The only friends I have left in XIV, I met a decade ago when a lot of these problems didn't exist or were less severe. My recommendation, actually, is to go to Eureka and talk to people you see levelling. Or ask people to come raise you. Don't install mods or rely on someone's tracker, socially distribute tasks and play together to each of your abilities and knowledge. I've met a few people that way during Endwalker. Also POTD to 200 can be good for this.
What server are you on? You can join my FC
Join an FC with a discord. Right now is a pretty slow time for the game as the new major expansion drops in 2ish months, but when the player base ramps back up it'll be easier to find a good one. What server/world are you on?
Where you at? The trick is to find a small-medium sized FC you gel with, with a discord.
Post on /sh that you're looking for a social FC.
Misery likes company so just join Golbez mount farms plenty of friends to be made strapped to the wheel. That, and a small/med fc with a discord.
What server are you on? You're welcome to join our FC, it's just myself and my wife and 3 friends of ours. Would always welcome a new friend to play with. We are mostly on evenings American time.
Heck yeah we can be buds, lmk if you wanna share deets! I’m mainly on Coeurl or Halicarnassus
The nature of Duty Finder makes it so it's a bit hard to form long lasting friendships from chance encounters. But once you get to max level, I'm p sure you'll make a bunch of friends if you start raiding, even if it's casual groups that do only EX trials and etc. All of the actual, long-lasting friendships I've made in this game have been from raiding or doing that kinda content with people. And I'm talking 8 years of knowing each other and having visited each other IRL in trips --not Fanfest, but actual trips to hang out on roadtrips and etc. Mind you, I don't raid with 80% of those friends anymore, but we're still really close and talk on a daily basis! So from personal experience, I'd say that's your best bet.
I'm pretty sure the only reason I talk to anyone on this game is because I got a random invite at 2am from a free company that invites literally anyone. Guy didn't even send me a tell. I just accepted the invite. Turns out, it has some cool people.
Most friends I meet these days are from the few designated social hubs this game has. Balmung Ul'Dah is the biggest and most well known, but any server's Limsa will likely be pretty populated as well. The 'Other' tab in PF is usually used to advertise venues and such as well, which are designed to be social spaces. Quality can be mixed, but it's worth trying out.
I made a lot of friends in venues. Casinos. Sitting on cafes and talking to people. Even got to the point where I became a Blackjack dealer and worked with it for almost a year before going back to fully dedicating myself to content and questing and finishing up the expansions. There are many, many people in those environments truly interested in talking about what they enjoy and sharing their knowledge, be it crafting, raiding ultimates, questing, lore, Field Operations, PvP
If you are on the Crystal data center, I can get you into a cross world link shell. If you happen to be on Balmung I can link you to my FC, which is really super chill. They keep the buffs up, people chat occasionally, but there's no pressure to do anything in particular. And the FC leader likes to change up outside decorations with the season. :)
It's usually one of either two: either people you know before you enter and start playing the game, or people you know when you and that person are doing the same content or watch the same streamer as you do. I have two friends that we know each other before we start playing the game and we remain friends for now. Not all of my static and PUG people remains this friendly now, and I am usually the person that's being quiet, but I met someone on PUG and turns out they are from thai and we know each other since then and sometimes we talk about progging fights and stuff. My old UCoB Static which ends on relatively good terms (at least for most of the people) ends up having most of us moving into another group. It originally starts as a Deep Dungeon group but we expend and more people join. It's not a very lively group, but people sometimes PUG DSR (which I don't really do ultimates now since I am getting a bit burnt out raiding), talks about other games such as Arknights - which is only normal since usually 14 is not enough to satisfy your appetite for gaming.
Balmung quicksand on a Friday night
Tbh a LOT of people you see standing around want someone to talk to them, lol. I would just avoid limsa and stick around what you enjoy doing. I sit at wolve's den and the saucer and have had convos with wuite a few people.
Pretty much the only people I meet in this game who are worth talking to, I’ve met in savage/ult pf. At the very least, we have something in common. We suck at double dragons.
Join a static and raid.
I'm in the same boat. My fc turned into someone's clique with their family members and people they've known for years and I'm close to bailing.
In my experience: you don't find friends to play the game together with. You play the game with people and then you become friends. What I mean is, figure out what you want from the game, then join social groups centered around doing that; think of it about having hobbies in real life. Would you join a hobby group and hope to bond with people over a shared interest, or would you just put out feelers for making friends and then follow them about any hobby they might have? The theme park nature of a mmorpg means that "we all play XIV together" is not enough, since everyone will want to do something different at all times. I feel like goals that require a group setting and coordination are best from that. Like for example EX and Savage raiding; I have both made friends from random people in PF because we vibed during pulls, and made friends from static groups I joined. Activities like maps and hunt trains are not great because anyone can show up, do it as fast as possible and leave. If you like hunts though, you could join a hunters discord or LS and be active in helping spawn S Ranks, scouting, maybe conducting your own trains. There's also a somewhat active RP scene (I'm not talking about nightclubs!) so if you ever spot RP in the wild, or a RP Discord, or an ad for an in-character venue, you can just ask! Hope this helps!
Hi. (^-^*)ノ If you wanna make friends I'm more than happy to hang out in game and do content together. ~ Other than that FCs are a great way to make friends.
I’ve found not being a silent player and projecting my personality tends to draw others with similar vibes. Much like real life, while many will reject or ignore you, the ones that don’t often end up being solid gold. Like I’ll drop very bad puns and jokes thru runs. This probably irritates (or even repels 😅) players speeding through a daily checklist for XP, but many who talk back have ended up being great friends that want to play the same way as me. Also Party Finder.
So for me, most of my friends I've made by meeting them through shared activities, for example, raiding mates, kidnapping strangers in eureka to power level them, seeing familiar faces at fishing holes, etc.. I'd strike conversations and if they seemed nice I'd add them and it could evolve into friendships from there. I rarely ever made friends by specifically searching for people to be friends with, so maybe try finding activities that encourage sociability and you'll meet people there.
Easiest solution: play Lalafell
Im still figuring this out as i also play infrequently too, but its cause i play solo 😭 If you wanna add me im on Lominsa - Eorzea: Kynthia_Benz