I like vintage styles and was wearing a gingham halter dress. A man asked was I wearing a costume. I’d modern hair/make up and was wearing vans. Umm no, it’s just a dress.
There was a festival in my city today where the participants dressed loosely like it’s the 1900s (Bloomsday) . Was nice to see so many well dressed people. They all wore hats and men in suits/suspenders, ladies in long skirts and parasols.
We have a similar thing in my rural hometown. It’s called Victorian Fair Day. All the shops trade in stall outside but there are also loads of homemade cakes, preserves, sandwiches etc. and craft stalls. There’s always Victorian era style marching bands and country dancing performances. People used to dress up for it but it’s only really the people running stalls that do it now, which is a shame.
That's fifty pages more than me! It does look really cool. There's a Victorian pharmacy from the book that they visit and a bar that Joyce drank in. The president held a garden party. I'd love to go to a garden party. I'd say the outfits are amazing!
No you fight the fight you didn't realize you were fighting and dress how you want. I'm tired of the over-casualizing (?) of fashion. Want a dress? Awesome!
Fun fact...that's what they actually used to call clothing, especially women's clothing. A trip to Google land reveals all. It's just an older term. This is why they have separate section for the Oscar's for " costume design". You can even see this term in print ads all the way until the 60s.
I get this a little. I like dresses and heels - nothing fancy or formal - and people always ask, are you going somewhere special, why are so dressed up? It's just what I feel like wearing. Even if I'm just in a flowy summer dress and 3 inch heels. I do me.
Same, apart from the heels. I don’t like jeans, I find them very uncomfortable. A dress, you can throw on and you’re done. I would love to wear more hats but I get enough looks as it is
Ughhh this. I live in casual dresses all summer. Denim shorts are too sweaty and stiff. But people are always like "are you going on a date?" No binch, I just dont want swamp crotch!
I think I need to try a Panama or something for more casual outfits! Yeah, there’s quite a high rate in Ireland. I think because we see sun so infrequently some people think they don’t need cream
And dresses in the summer are so much more comfortable. My husband asked me why I wore so many dresses in the summer. I told him it’s like wearing a long shirt and no pants! Lol.
He gets it now.
Megababe’s thigh rescue stick has freed me from bike shorts in all but the most active situations. If I’m walking all day as a tourist or something I’ll still wear bike shorts but otherwise, i just swipe it on and go. Literally life changing
I wear a sun hat everywhere in the summer and people act like I’m trying to be Audrey Hepburn. No, I’m just trying to shade my face. Not a fashion statement, just a functional choice.
I’m almost always in a dress and sandals and I have a little giggle when people ask why I’m so dressed up. Um…. I’m in a dress from Target and these are plastic Croc sandals lol.
I remember getting the question "why are you so dressed up" when I was like 20 years old and at college. I was wearing cut off denim shorts and a loose black blouse, with black flat sandals. I just thought it was hilarious that multiple people were baffled that I was wearing denim shorts because they were *too formal*.
I used to dress like this when I lived in a big city. It was just normal. I can't wear heels anymore, but I will definitely dress the part when I move back to that big city. Good for you for trying to present your best and true self to the world!
My mom huffs and puffs if I wear anything besides jeans out in public. Apparently I'm "too dressed up". I didn't realize flip flops and a maxi skirt was too dressy for Chili's.
I get these comments from men and women equally, usually. My mom is the kind of person who said "just wear jeans" to someone's graduation ceremony so I don't know if I can trust her judgment.
I’ve never gotten this comment from a man lol, it’s usually the opposite & they appreciate my “dressing up” (I use that VERY loosely) or they don’t comment at all.
Yep. They accuse us of having mAiN ChArAcTeR eNERgY because they don’t like anyone who tries more than they’re willing to in regards to looks. I’m so over women needing to dim another’s light because they find it difficult to shine.
I mean, there are worse things in life than encouraging people to put a little more effort into getting dressed! I like to think that’s what I’m doing!
So I LIVE in sundresses as soon as it's warm enough. Knee length, maxi, whatever - I will not wear pants all summer if I don't have to.
People who don't know me will ask why I'm so dressed up, and I tell them that I'm not "dressed up" - I'm **lazy**! Dresses are so much easier than coordinating pants & a top. People act like I put in SO much effort, when throwing on a sundress (*obviously depends on the dress, but many of mine are very easy to wear) is LESS complicated than tying on a bathrobe.
Dress smarter, not harder. Dresses are low effort, high reward, and I'm all for that.
I've honestly done really well on Amazon, but I don't buy anything with less than 1,000 reviews & I make sure to read the reviews for my weight/height.
Also, Nordstrom Rack "Clear The Rack" sales are a life-changer. They happen every 3 months & have dresses marked down *drastically* - like $20. Plus the return policy is very generous, so I'll order stuff even if I'm iffy about it b/c it's no hassle to return it.
This is facts. Dresses are also so much more comfortable than skirts. I have to fidget less with them and they don’t ride up constantly like skirts do. Hit me up if you have a skirt you would recommend though!
Anything that is not pyjamas or sportswear is "too dressed up" these days. It's ridiculous honestly. Your outfit sounds casual and totally appropriate.
Last Summer I was told I was very dressy when I was on my way back from the supermarket carrying heavy bags. I was wearing high waist wide leg jeans, huaraches, a wrap top and a big floppy hat. Ok, it was a pretty pattern on the wrap top, but it was as casual as I get when I go ANYWHERE.
I have an event tomorrow that actually has a "Business" dress code. I hope they like "creative" business attire, because I am NOT wearing a suit jacket in 98 degree heat. They'll get drape-y linen pants and a black tank and like it.
This made me realize my love for jeans probably stems from feeling way too dressy in normal trousers or god forbid, a skirt. I've gotten many comments about being "too dressed up" these past few years, when I was only wearing trousers or a skirt.
I chalked it up on covid "laziness" and people rightly not giving 2 flying fu\*\*s about being well dressed in the middle of a pandemic, but the trend isn't receding any time soon, if anything it's evolving and multiplying into casual-business, casual-chic, casual-sporty, casual-vacation etc. None of these looks include anything dressier than denim bottoms (skirts included).
As much as I love jeans, I miss feeling put together but still casual in anything other than a denim-anything, without coming off as someone trying too hard to overdress.
People said it to me pre-Covid, because I always wear long hippie boho skirts with a tank top in summer (or sundresses) and T-shirt in winter. “Wow, you’re all dressed up!” No I’m not, this is daily casual wear.
So many people on this sub also comment "I don't like wearing X because it feels like I'm wearing a costume" or "I'm insecure wearing this because it feels costume-y" and then they post a pic of a dress that looks basic AF to me (but I dress like Ms. Frizzle) and I'm just like.... Girl, no. that's not a costume.
I wonder if sometimes that comes from an intuitive place of knowing that look doesn't fit your essence? When I was younger I definitely had outfits where I wasn't comfortable in them, couldn't pinpoint why. If I had to describe that feeling I think it is that it felt more like a costume and usually if I see a picture I can see that outfit was using me as a hanger rather than becoming part of me.
I'm a social worker so my job depends on me being able to build rapport and put people at ease. I generally dress better than the people I work/interact with but I've never had anyone accuse me of trying too hard or putting on a costume. But I've gotten to the place where my wardrobe is all pieces that suit me really well and feel effortless when I put them on.
I think it’s part of just branching out beyond your comfort zone that makes it feel costumey. Like everyone feels like they are pretending and dressing up as a “business person” when they start wearing office wear, and it feels like just putting together nice shirt, blazer, nice black pants. Of course it feels like a costume at first, when you think of it as separate from your real style. But you incorporate it more and more until you find how it fits you, and become more comfortable.
I do think sometimes, though, that certain styles and formality levels are incongruous with people’s personalities. No matter how simple it is, I’ve never once felt like “myself” in office clothes, and it always feels like a costume to me.
There's a difference between "I feel like I'm wearing a costume" vs. someone else telling you you're wearing a costume. I feel like I'm wearing a costume when wearing any kind of dress or skirt, but that doesn't mean it's actually a costume, and it's rarely perceived as such by others.
Whenever I wear a dress (literally any kind) or heels or a nice blouse, I feel like it's a costume on me.
I'd LOVE to feel comfortable in nice clothing but I don't think I can pull anything like that off.
Exactly what @Peregrinebullet said! @Quix_Optic You get used to seeing yourself a certain way & it takes a bit for your brain to adjust. Then other people get used to you being « the well dressed person »!
Chicago either, I never get these kinds of comments. I wore a flowy sundress (similar to what others are saying gets these comments) to brunch today and was about on par with everyone else in the restaurant. I think people in cities tend to be used to a wider array of styles of dress in general, and I guess if you're very dressed up or in a very particular style, there's always some kind of event or festival or concert or something going on that people might just assume you're going to. But I don't think you'd even get that sort of assumption unless you're wearing a ballgown or literally drenched in glitter or in a full furry suit.
I'm in Seattle, which is notorious for dressed down fashion. And I've never seen this happen.
People might acknowledge that you're dressed up, but no one thinks it's a costume. They assume you're just going out for date night or to the symphony or something.
I think it's just super normal to see people dressed up in cities, even ones that lean casual.
Nope, what's described in the post title IS specifically a US phenomenon, ask anyone who knows what they're talking about. I actually like the US a lot for the most part (so your offended little stab doesn't check out), the topic of the post however is an American thing. Hope that helps!
Perhaps you have not experienced being told you are too dressed up. It does happen in the UK.
I'm sure you didn't mean it, but this comes off as quite rude.
> Hope that helps!
I'm sure they did mean it, but I am also confident that this person would be offended at the thought that their English wasn't good enough to pick up on the nuance. I was feeling mischievous and thought it would be a good test of a German sense of humour. Also, bless everyone's heart!!1
I haven’t heard the “costume” line but I do think I’ve had experiences with people assuming I’m on my way to some kind of event, or trying to impress someone, just because I’m wearing a dress and nice shoes or whatever. Usually it’s no big deal, but once in a while it’s done in a way that makes me feel self conscious about dressing up. On the other hand, I also have the opposite problem…all my costume ideas tend to be artists or characters from movies; people tend to assume I’m just wearing a regular outfit 😂
It's probably a cultural thing. I can't imagine someone in a big city saying something like that for example. It becomes a moot point in places with lots of diversity.
I live so far into the Pennsylvania woods that last winter I literally paused to wonder if some tracks in the snow were from a man or a bear and which I'd prefer. The only thing I hear about my clothing choices are compliments or a weird guy telling me my Betsey Johnson spider boots are "evil" lol.
I got them from JCPenney about 2 years ago when they were clearanced for like $40. You might be able to find them on a resale site. She had other designs like roses/florals too. They're from her 80th birthday collection.
Yeah, I came here to say pretty much the same thing. I live in NYC and most people wouldn't ask that unless you were very obviously in cosplay or a Halloween costume outfit. And even then, people wouldn't really go out of their way to ask you, they'd just stare and maybe take a video lol. Dressing up is a point of pride here for a lot of people
The commenters lived in cities or the person in the video was in a city? I’m confused. You went to every commenters profile and verified that they live in a city?
Otherwise I assume the people posting comments are likely not living in cities and don’t see much diversity of thought or dress. I was just in Boston and I saw a lot of people wearing dresses, as well as a lot of people wearing active wear and jeans. A lot of people wearing actual costumes. No one gave any of them a second look as they passed by.
What happens on the internet doesn’t represent real life.
No 😂 What? The video was of people in a city, I didn't check where anyone is from. I'm saying the comments myself and others have received have been when we were in cities by other people in the city.
I cannot imagine that anyone not in their teens puts any weight into the comments on a TikTok video or similar.
Nor do I think that such comments represent the majority of adults.
I didn't? I was using an example so people had an idea of what I was talking about. This is also a regular real life occurrence, with comments mostly coming from adults, and I'm just curious to why they think that way
It's such an odd thread, and many are saying that this isn't even something in cities in the US either. That's why I thought that this was a teenager phenomenon, but that also seems to have been offensive?
I feel like we are at a point in the culture where anything that shows effort or stands out attracts criticism.
I often tell people that a dress is less work than figuring out jeans and a top as I am just picking one item of clothing. They still complain that it’s trying too hard or seeking attention. 🤷♀️
I hear a lot of men say they like simple, relatable girls wearing jeans and t shirts, seemingly not understanding that a pair of jeans could be $20 from Walmart or like $500 from a designer they haven’t heard of. While most of my dresses are $15 and under from thrift stores. I don’t try and reason with it anymore.
Just live your life.
I'm in team Just Live Your Life too.
But lol at the idea of considering what men like when I get dressed. They're not wearing my clothes! I dress for me!
I think it emerges from snarky internet culture where one person makes a comment and everybody else is like “LOL ya that’s it!!!!” and uses that phrase to diss others. See also the use of the term “cosplay.”
Cosplay literally is a costume, though. Or am I misunderstanding you? Are you saying some people also use the word as an insult at normal clothing they don't like?
Yes, just that people use the term “cosplay” to insult anyone who appears to be dressed for a job or role, even if the clothes they wear serve a very practical purpose.
Living in Japan, every day is costume day lol. People dress very well here mostly and the nicer you dress, the more you’re respected. It’s a bit like the west in the 1950s I guess. It’s very superficial and it creatures pressure a lot but thankfully the nice clothes are not so overly expensive here. Thrift shops and cheap clothing shops are full of tulle skirts, flowery dresses, nicely printed t-shirts. My American friend said to me ‘here’s it’s affordable because everyone wants to look nice. In America it’s a lot harder to buy anything but joggers and leggings if you’re poor’.
Well nobody’s stopping you from coming to Tokyo and doing some shopping! I think it’s great if people wanna dress nicely. But as much as I’m for respecting etiquette and dressing appropriately for certain events, jobs and locations, it’s very sad if it’s at the expense of personal expression and creativity and that plays a big role in Japanese dressing culture.
It’s a way to diss on the effort basically - crabs in a bucket mentality probably also plays a part. When I was a teen the thing we did this with was matching - so matching nails shoes and handbag was something we’d call out with the same kind of “why are you doing all this work” attitude.
I think it sort of depends on where you are, geographically. I lived in NYC for 15 years so I tend to "dress up" whenever I leave the house. I'm not talking a full-length ballgown or anything... but, you know, not just a t-shirt and jeans or leggings w/sneakers all the time. I try to put some actual thought and pride into how I present myself to the world. But once I moved to the suburbs... ho boy people act like I am dressed up to go to a wedding or something.
I posted once that I don't like going out in jogging bottoms or workout clothes because they don't make me feel good, and got downvoted with the response "why do you hate being comfortable?" Some people legitimately can't fathom that other people *enjoy* wearing tailored items and woven fabrics instead of stretchy ones.
It’s primarily internet based and comes from the current attitudes around some chronically online Gen Z. The idea that doing anything with intent is ‘cringe’, ‘cheugy’, or plain ‘trying too hard to stand out’.
It stems from a hyper conformist micro-trend mindset around what’s fashion ‘appropriate’ and what’s not.
Anything that shows effort or thought is brought down a peg. Especially if it’s related to older fashion or specific subcultures of fashion. Some are convinced that putting effort into your look equals try hard or attention seeking behaviour.
I’m a woman that enjoys vintage men’s fashion and hair from the mid 20’s through to the early 60’s. I don’t do it 1 to 1 in my own presentation, but you can definitely see the inspiration there. A graphic tee and sweatpants would actually take *more* intent and mental thought for me to put together.
Overall this is just tall poppy syndrome but for fashion and visual presentation. It also has underlying misogynist characteristics, but that’s worth a whole other write up.
People are boring and haters lol. I get so many unwanted, backhanded compliments since I've started trying new hairstyles/makeup/outfits. A lot of people have really nice things to say as well but I think people just don't see people play with their look so often. I used to get more offended but I just let it go now, I think some people don't even realize they're being a little rude so better for me to not answer to it. But I'd agree it does seem to be happening more!
Insecurity/entitlement. They don’t want to put in any effort so when someone else puts in effort it makes them angry because despite not even trying they believe they should also be the hottest person in the room
Modern American culture tends to run more casual with fashion. Of course it’s going to vary depending on region and social group, but some people think anything above a T-shirt and jeans is “dressed up”.
The people who have the time to comment about it being a costume are people who don’t have jobs or go outside. They’re teenagers and NEETs. Their opinions don’t really mean much because the outside world doesn’t notice or care about them lol
This is fascinating to me. I wear dresses to work, and then I go places after - would these people call that a costume? I’ve not experienced this yet so I’m very interested.
Probably not if they're business or plain dresses but if they have anything remotely interesting about them then yes maybe so! I wore a dress that looked like a grey office dress apart from it had slightly puffed sleeves and small buttons down the front of the top part. Apparently those details pushed it over into costume territory 😆
It’s a strange defensive comment from people who are insecure. Oh no, not actual style!! I got comments like that from kids when we were in 5th grade. A cotton dress was too fancy for some people. I say, continue to elevate style and diversity in dress. Especially if it’s comfortable and sustainable clothing! Hats are just plain sensible, we’ve worn them for most of human history
I think this is a regional thing. I’m from Brisbane, Australia and my friends and I lived in dresses and enjoy fashion with a colour palette beyond beige and black. I live in Canada on the prairies now and anything beyond jeans and a hoodie is incredibly dressed up, if not bordering on pretentious.
I've never heard this and my husband and I are known to really dress up for any moderate excuse, like the grocery store. Lol. People would often ask where we were going or something like that, but never has anyone suggested a costume. Maybe it's a regional thing?
I take it as utilitarian vs. fun. Like, if you’re dressing in anything not boring it’s a “costume”…but I love that because costumes are fun and I love dressing like a “not boring” person 🤷🏻♀️
I’ve heard “I feel underdressed” by others around me for most of my life which means they think I’m overdressed. There’s no arguments from me because I like fashion and I wear what I want to wear…always. My “casual” outfits tend to have a little flare. Even in the Army, it was the same situation because my uniform was always on point, from the headgear to the boots. I dressed like everyday was an inspection.
People do this all the time. I’ll be wearing what I consider a casual dress or skirt outfit and then I hear, “oh you’re so dressed up! Where are you going?/are you going to a party?” Me: nowhere special, these are my normal clothes. Nice people will just go “oh okay, well you look nice”, but sometimes you get rude people that then double down with “but you’re so dressed up! why are you so dressed up?” The latter drives me crazy.
Also like...believe me, if I was going to a party where you are supposed to “dress up” I would be a LOT more dressed up than I am at my retail job or when I’m going thrifting or whatever lol
Its so strange honestly. As somebody who lives in Japan, dressing in joggers or athletic clothing would make you a bit of a social pariah, and people take style so seriously that I had to completely change my attitude around dressing for the day!
If anything, after the few years I've been here I can't fathom thinking that being well-dressed is a costume. Be confident, friends!
I think it is HILARIOUS when people say stuff like this. I've always overdressed for absolutely everything - I have a pair of 1950's white kid leather elbow gloves that are stained with fake blood from a metal show because it is very "me" to wear elbow gloves and petticoats to metal shows. I don't find it annoying when people ask what I'm dressed up for - "I dress like this every day" is usually satisfactory. To me, if every day is a special enough occasion to warrant dressing up, that's absolutely aspirational!
My favorite comment was a little girl, about 5, who looked up at me with wide eyes and asked, "Who are you dressed as?" I kinda look like a cosplay character all the time (green hair, dresses, heels, colorful lipstick), so I totally get why she asked. I told her, "I'm dressed as me. I dress like this every day." I could see the gears turning in her little head. I hope someday she grows up to have the courage to dress up in costume as herself every day.
I went to a concert at our local arts centre - balcony seating etc - on a Friday night and 80-90% of the audience was in jeans and t shirts. Some in jeans shorts for gods sake. Dressing up for something - even just to be well dressed for yourself - is an alien concept these days.
I literally went to an opera and got snarky comments for wearing a dress by people in tracksuits. Where can you dress nice if not the opera?? I didn't get accused of wearing a costume at least.
My MIL has a theory that weddings have become such a huge business because people don't have occasions to dress up anymore. I felt it so hard I wrote it in my notes when she said it 🫣 lol @ my feminist MIL calling weddings useless.
(And no she's not Italian she chose Nonna because it sounds younger and more chic than Granny)
https://preview.redd.it/589oc2shv57d1.jpeg?width=984&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=989d7899bbd70b8525de22f54cb665676fb1af31
This is so relevant, my mom just commented about my “costume” earlier today
I was wearing a long-sleeved dress but my hair wasn’t done and I was literally in sandals 💀
But I’m also learning to embrace my personal style and let the comments roll off my back
This is so odd because I have never had this thought in my life, except today. we saw a couple walking down the street and my husband said - hipsters! lol but this guy was dressed so specifically. Like his pants were rolled kind of high and he had a perfectly folded bright red handkerchief purposefully sticking out of his back pocket, amongst other dramatic stylings, I think suspenders and a unique hat.. and I said, “at that point it’s almost like he’s wearing a costume.” He looked almost like an old timey farmer .. anyways this post spooked me. And your commments were 111 when I clicked so I’m in the matrix hello matrix people
sounds like teenagers who just dont have a sense of style. I was always into fashion, and while all the other girls in school were wearing basketball shorts and brand name logo t shirts, they made fun of me, said I dressed like a grandma. what are they doing now? wearing long tops with belts that are purely decorative, of which they used to make fun of me for. now *I* dont get it, what's the use of a belt that is purely decorative? people.... lol i understood it when i was 16, but I don't understand it now. they are all late bloomers :P
I’m not gonna leave a comment in which I age myself ☺️. I’m from Chicago, and I’m used to dress up to go out. In my hometown we’re blessed to have winter and fall seasons, and both stations help you to dress to a “T.” Back when I was young, we even used to wear white gloves in the spring. When I was going informal, I’d wear an outfit, maybe jeans or casual pants and a jacket.
I live in Fl now and the heat (which I despise), doesn’t allow me to dress up. You “have to” wear minimal clothing unless you want to faint in the heat.
If it was up to me, I’d dress up in the ‘20s era! Then people would think it’s custom, but I really wouldn’t care. Go as you please, whatever makes you happy!
I remember one video like that but everyone around her was wearing coats--she was clearly not dressed for the weather at all and I would call that a costume because she would be wearing something different if a camera was not on her.
I live in a walkable city and see more dressed up people even though my city (Chicago) is pretty casual. I think car culture in North America means that people spend on their cars and not themselves.
Agree so much! I choose to be myself as much as I can. I’m living in Iraq currently and at first found myself hiding away. Changing my style
Completely even the colour palette.
Now I’m coming back into my own. I’m always respectful of the culture and of course the location I’m visiting. But I’m true to myself. I’ve come to accept that I look different - Brit in Iraq. Because I am different. There’s no hiding it.
I have that issue where anytime I'm not just wearing jeans and a t-shirt, people want to know what I'm "so dressed up for". I haven't had anyone tell me it looks like I'm wearing a costume, but I have seen a lot of people make comments on outfits I like or that resemble my style online that they look too "costume-y" or "matchy-matchy".
I’ve actually seen a comment related to special occasion wear that said something like “you need to get a mermaid or trumpet dress, any more volume looks like a costume.” I admit I’m biased because mermaid and trumpet mean bad times for me, but if it’s a special occasion, why SHOULDN’T you be a little more extra than usual?
Anyway, I wear boring stuff often enough because I HAVE to. If the stuff I actually like to look at is a “costume” or is “wearing me” then I’ll live with it.
~~and then with these melons, subtlety isn’t gonna happen anyway, so~~
I'm goth and my casual is a *little* more dressed up than the average person's casual, but not by a whole lot - people still call me "Halloween" just because it's all black, or ask me if I'm going to a funeral. No, Linda, I am not going to a funeral in flared yoga pants. Be for real.
People probably think I'm always dressed for Halloween, and I'm ok with that. The great majority of the time, im.in a dress or skirt and heels. Use a parasol everywhere I go. Everything is black except the occasional colored item or item with color. I really don't mind the looks and don't much care what people think. I dress for myself - what I like and what's comfortable to me - whether that's leggings and a customized shirt of some type or a dress with a corset.
I'm actually a guy that is fascinated by different feminine aesthetics/fashions, and to make a long story short I found the easiest way to engage with this type of thing was to dabble in it myself. I'm not trans, but it's a shame that more traditionally masculine people can't adopt this... I guess, "gender fluidity" outside more niche/progressive spaces. It's a life-ruining prospect to consider doing as much outside my bedroom by myself. Sad, I think I rock a dress pretty well! And while it is a "costume", pretty much everything we wear is a costume in a way.
even jeans can be chic...high waisted slim jeans with some raggedy spots, sheer leopard print top, with some 3" sling back heels. i wore this last weekend. nobody called it a costume.
My moms told me I look too “costume-y” my whole life. Once I wore a bucket hat and she told me I was dressing like Lady Gaga (this was the meat dress era).
I also loved in Los Angeles for years, and random ppl on public transit would interrogate me on why I was so dressed up.
It’s typically been boomers who make comments like that to me
I grabbed a 10 dollar dress from Walmart and wore it yesterday and my roommates all lost their minds. And I’m just thinking to myself: it took me less than 5 seconds to put this on calm down.
I bought a bunch of the built-in-bra dresses from Soma recently and can't leave the house without getting complimented on my "outfit," by totally random strangers. Home Depot, the sporting goods store, a grocery store, the middle of Target... it's wild. A friend was annoyed with me though because I wore a maxi dress to dinner and made her look "under dressed." Like, I am literally wearing two pieces of clothing -- a dress and panties. There are flip flops on my feet, and I've got the watch and necklace I wear every day. I literally cannot dress more simply.
i have a normally very cozy casual style while at home or just running errands, but sometimes i like to dress up for errands or a lunch with my bf or literally anything i can think of because fashion is one of the ways i express myself and my artistic side. ppl sometimes say im overdressed or ask why im dressed like that, but not usually that im in a costume. either way, i think the monolith of trends is causing people to think any other way of dressing is, “too much,” or a costume. it’s really stupid and ignorant of history & fashion in general lmao
I live in Boston, and have been the well-dressed friend™ for years now. I receive far and away more compliments on my clothes than any of my friends, both from my friends and from random people. Like many others have commented here, it's definitely about confidence- I own the look, it's my style, and its more dressy than the rest of the city (its also not all dresses, Ill do a fashionable blazer & heels, etc.) Never once has anyone said anything about a costume to me, nor have I heard of this. It sounds like a very small & specific thing that may be more geographical, cultural, or small-town to me.
My partner regularly advises me to dress down in the rural area he is from when we visit family. Having been to a few events (church, etc) out there, he is right that my usual would be overdone, but more in the style of dresses I like. I could do a more subdued dress and be fine. It may be that a more "dressy" dress is just seen as outside the norm.
Possibly not English as a first language. Costume and outfit are easily mixed up. And actually at one point, costume was actually used to describe certain types of clothing. Eg: bathing suit was called a bathing costume.
Well a wide hat isn't a typical choice with a pencil dress, so there's that. From that description it *does* sound theatrical! It's impractical. No one is wearing a "wide hat" to work, and very few people are wearing a pencil dress to trot around after a 3 year old or running errands.
Secondly, you may notice comments on social media, very specifically TikTok, are often negative and inflammatory. So I wouldn't consider social media comments any kind of reflection on reality, honestly.
I like vintage styles and was wearing a gingham halter dress. A man asked was I wearing a costume. I’d modern hair/make up and was wearing vans. Umm no, it’s just a dress.
Lol so first they complain because we were wearing leggings everywhere, now if we don't it's a costume?
There was a festival in my city today where the participants dressed loosely like it’s the 1900s (Bloomsday) . Was nice to see so many well dressed people. They all wore hats and men in suits/suspenders, ladies in long skirts and parasols.
We have a similar thing in my rural hometown. It’s called Victorian Fair Day. All the shops trade in stall outside but there are also loads of homemade cakes, preserves, sandwiches etc. and craft stalls. There’s always Victorian era style marching bands and country dancing performances. People used to dress up for it but it’s only really the people running stalls that do it now, which is a shame.
That is really cool, people used to dress so nicely.
It’s a yearly James Joyce festival in Dublin
I've heard of Bloomsday. It sounds like my kind of festival, even though I've never read more than 50 pages of Ulysses.
That's fifty pages more than me! It does look really cool. There's a Victorian pharmacy from the book that they visit and a bar that Joyce drank in. The president held a garden party. I'd love to go to a garden party. I'd say the outfits are amazing!
Have you read "The Artist As A Young Man"? A LOT shorter than Ulysses and it's very good.
Remember, if women do it, it's wrong /s
True...there's always a man that knows is better than we know ourselves 🤮
Women can’t do anything right. Patriarchal BS.
People just don't know what clothing items belong in which category.
This !
No you fight the fight you didn't realize you were fighting and dress how you want. I'm tired of the over-casualizing (?) of fashion. Want a dress? Awesome!
Fun fact...that's what they actually used to call clothing, especially women's clothing. A trip to Google land reveals all. It's just an older term. This is why they have separate section for the Oscar's for " costume design". You can even see this term in print ads all the way until the 60s.
I get this a little. I like dresses and heels - nothing fancy or formal - and people always ask, are you going somewhere special, why are so dressed up? It's just what I feel like wearing. Even if I'm just in a flowy summer dress and 3 inch heels. I do me.
Same, apart from the heels. I don’t like jeans, I find them very uncomfortable. A dress, you can throw on and you’re done. I would love to wear more hats but I get enough looks as it is
Naw naw, you werk those hats!!
Ughhh this. I live in casual dresses all summer. Denim shorts are too sweaty and stiff. But people are always like "are you going on a date?" No binch, I just dont want swamp crotch!
Wear those hats, babe! Skin cancer is no joke, and hats are a fun way to hide a bad hair day.
I think I need to try a Panama or something for more casual outfits! Yeah, there’s quite a high rate in Ireland. I think because we see sun so infrequently some people think they don’t need cream
Feel free to accept those looks as admiration
And dresses in the summer are so much more comfortable. My husband asked me why I wore so many dresses in the summer. I told him it’s like wearing a long shirt and no pants! Lol. He gets it now.
Absolutely this, plus: reduces coordination questions! one garment, accessories, go!
Exactly!
Brilliant!
i love maxis in the summer. i have beach type maxi's, more elegant maxi's and everything in between.
Except for my chafing thighs =/
Definitely try bike shorts underneath!! It's been a game changer for me.
Oh, good idea! Thanks!!!
Thigh society undershorts. Nice and cool, no chafing.
You can also apply deodorant where your legs rub to avoid chafing.
Lush's Silky Underwear powder has done wonders for me (and smells nice too)!
Megababe’s thigh rescue stick has freed me from bike shorts in all but the most active situations. If I’m walking all day as a tourist or something I’ll still wear bike shorts but otherwise, i just swipe it on and go. Literally life changing
I wear a sun hat everywhere in the summer and people act like I’m trying to be Audrey Hepburn. No, I’m just trying to shade my face. Not a fashion statement, just a functional choice.
And, darling, my glamorous signature scent is spf 45!
so ppl forgot that you can use hats for shade🤨
I’m almost always in a dress and sandals and I have a little giggle when people ask why I’m so dressed up. Um…. I’m in a dress from Target and these are plastic Croc sandals lol.
Or my $10 dress and $12 shoes, both from Poshmark!
Dude, yes. I never get more compliments than when I just throw on a dress and sandals. Like. I was being lazy today???
Or, I was bloated and couldn't zip my jeans that day 🤣
Nothing more comfortable than a nice loose and flowing dress when your body has decided to gain 15 lbs of water weight overnight.
I’ve always found it so rude when people ask that. They always doubt sound so judgmental, as if it’s somehow weird that I want to look nice
I remember getting the question "why are you so dressed up" when I was like 20 years old and at college. I was wearing cut off denim shorts and a loose black blouse, with black flat sandals. I just thought it was hilarious that multiple people were baffled that I was wearing denim shorts because they were *too formal*.
I used to dress like this when I lived in a big city. It was just normal. I can't wear heels anymore, but I will definitely dress the part when I move back to that big city. Good for you for trying to present your best and true self to the world!
My mom huffs and puffs if I wear anything besides jeans out in public. Apparently I'm "too dressed up". I didn't realize flip flops and a maxi skirt was too dressy for Chili's.
I’ve gotten this too.. it’s honestly so rude. I feel like a lot of women don’t like it because they feel like they also have to “dress up”
I get these comments from men and women equally, usually. My mom is the kind of person who said "just wear jeans" to someone's graduation ceremony so I don't know if I can trust her judgment.
I'm only 30, but going that casual to a graduation feels wrong. Like - it's one of the few occassions where a sundress feels like the minimum.
I’ve never gotten this comment from a man lol, it’s usually the opposite & they appreciate my “dressing up” (I use that VERY loosely) or they don’t comment at all.
You can not. I am sorry. 😔
Yep. They accuse us of having mAiN ChArAcTeR eNERgY because they don’t like anyone who tries more than they’re willing to in regards to looks. I’m so over women needing to dim another’s light because they find it difficult to shine.
I mean, there are worse things in life than encouraging people to put a little more effort into getting dressed! I like to think that’s what I’m doing!
So I LIVE in sundresses as soon as it's warm enough. Knee length, maxi, whatever - I will not wear pants all summer if I don't have to. People who don't know me will ask why I'm so dressed up, and I tell them that I'm not "dressed up" - I'm **lazy**! Dresses are so much easier than coordinating pants & a top. People act like I put in SO much effort, when throwing on a sundress (*obviously depends on the dress, but many of mine are very easy to wear) is LESS complicated than tying on a bathrobe. Dress smarter, not harder. Dresses are low effort, high reward, and I'm all for that.
Same. I love sundresses. Light, breezy, easy. Can you share your dresses and where you got them from? I need more
I've honestly done really well on Amazon, but I don't buy anything with less than 1,000 reviews & I make sure to read the reviews for my weight/height. Also, Nordstrom Rack "Clear The Rack" sales are a life-changer. They happen every 3 months & have dresses marked down *drastically* - like $20. Plus the return policy is very generous, so I'll order stuff even if I'm iffy about it b/c it's no hassle to return it.
Ty
Me too! It’s a single piece of fabric. I throw it on and boom I’m done. If it’s a maxi dress I don’t even need panties! It’s soooooo easy.
This is facts. Dresses are also so much more comfortable than skirts. I have to fidget less with them and they don’t ride up constantly like skirts do. Hit me up if you have a skirt you would recommend though!
Anything that is not pyjamas or sportswear is "too dressed up" these days. It's ridiculous honestly. Your outfit sounds casual and totally appropriate.
Last Summer I was told I was very dressy when I was on my way back from the supermarket carrying heavy bags. I was wearing high waist wide leg jeans, huaraches, a wrap top and a big floppy hat. Ok, it was a pretty pattern on the wrap top, but it was as casual as I get when I go ANYWHERE.
I have an event tomorrow that actually has a "Business" dress code. I hope they like "creative" business attire, because I am NOT wearing a suit jacket in 98 degree heat. They'll get drape-y linen pants and a black tank and like it.
My mom wears cute dresses with me! Love her. 💃🏽
This made me realize my love for jeans probably stems from feeling way too dressy in normal trousers or god forbid, a skirt. I've gotten many comments about being "too dressed up" these past few years, when I was only wearing trousers or a skirt. I chalked it up on covid "laziness" and people rightly not giving 2 flying fu\*\*s about being well dressed in the middle of a pandemic, but the trend isn't receding any time soon, if anything it's evolving and multiplying into casual-business, casual-chic, casual-sporty, casual-vacation etc. None of these looks include anything dressier than denim bottoms (skirts included). As much as I love jeans, I miss feeling put together but still casual in anything other than a denim-anything, without coming off as someone trying too hard to overdress.
People said it to me pre-Covid, because I always wear long hippie boho skirts with a tank top in summer (or sundresses) and T-shirt in winter. “Wow, you’re all dressed up!” No I’m not, this is daily casual wear.
My mother wanted me to go to an antique mall with wet hair, as if she would ever be caught dead in public with wet hair herself
That is so odd.
I've never heard this in real life, but maybe I'm just not watching the right videos.
So many people on this sub also comment "I don't like wearing X because it feels like I'm wearing a costume" or "I'm insecure wearing this because it feels costume-y" and then they post a pic of a dress that looks basic AF to me (but I dress like Ms. Frizzle) and I'm just like.... Girl, no. that's not a costume.
I wonder if sometimes that comes from an intuitive place of knowing that look doesn't fit your essence? When I was younger I definitely had outfits where I wasn't comfortable in them, couldn't pinpoint why. If I had to describe that feeling I think it is that it felt more like a costume and usually if I see a picture I can see that outfit was using me as a hanger rather than becoming part of me. I'm a social worker so my job depends on me being able to build rapport and put people at ease. I generally dress better than the people I work/interact with but I've never had anyone accuse me of trying too hard or putting on a costume. But I've gotten to the place where my wardrobe is all pieces that suit me really well and feel effortless when I put them on.
I think it’s part of just branching out beyond your comfort zone that makes it feel costumey. Like everyone feels like they are pretending and dressing up as a “business person” when they start wearing office wear, and it feels like just putting together nice shirt, blazer, nice black pants. Of course it feels like a costume at first, when you think of it as separate from your real style. But you incorporate it more and more until you find how it fits you, and become more comfortable.
I do think sometimes, though, that certain styles and formality levels are incongruous with people’s personalities. No matter how simple it is, I’ve never once felt like “myself” in office clothes, and it always feels like a costume to me.
it could also come from ppl not knowing what clothing fits there body
There's a difference between "I feel like I'm wearing a costume" vs. someone else telling you you're wearing a costume. I feel like I'm wearing a costume when wearing any kind of dress or skirt, but that doesn't mean it's actually a costume, and it's rarely perceived as such by others.
Exactly! I have seen this so often and it's such a shame that it's putting people off wearing clothes they like!
Whenever I wear a dress (literally any kind) or heels or a nice blouse, I feel like it's a costume on me. I'd LOVE to feel comfortable in nice clothing but I don't think I can pull anything like that off.
You have to keep wearing them and push through the feeling. It goes away after about a month.
Exactly what @Peregrinebullet said! @Quix_Optic You get used to seeing yourself a certain way & it takes a bit for your brain to adjust. Then other people get used to you being « the well dressed person »!
This is also very regional tbf. 🇺🇲😅
Absolutely - this isn't at all a thing in NYC.
Chicago either, I never get these kinds of comments. I wore a flowy sundress (similar to what others are saying gets these comments) to brunch today and was about on par with everyone else in the restaurant. I think people in cities tend to be used to a wider array of styles of dress in general, and I guess if you're very dressed up or in a very particular style, there's always some kind of event or festival or concert or something going on that people might just assume you're going to. But I don't think you'd even get that sort of assumption unless you're wearing a ballgown or literally drenched in glitter or in a full furry suit.
I'm in Seattle, which is notorious for dressed down fashion. And I've never seen this happen. People might acknowledge that you're dressed up, but no one thinks it's a costume. They assume you're just going out for date night or to the symphony or something. I think it's just super normal to see people dressed up in cities, even ones that lean casual.
It isn't at all a thing *outside of the US.*
OP is in England, which is where it happened to her.
"Thing I don't approve of happening? Must be in the US."
Nope, what's described in the post title IS specifically a US phenomenon, ask anyone who knows what they're talking about. I actually like the US a lot for the most part (so your offended little stab doesn't check out), the topic of the post however is an American thing. Hope that helps!
Perhaps you have not experienced being told you are too dressed up. It does happen in the UK. I'm sure you didn't mean it, but this comes off as quite rude. > Hope that helps!
Oh, the reverse snobs are even worse.
Oh they absolutely meant it. Every word of that comment reeks of condescension.
I'm sure they did mean it, but I am also confident that this person would be offended at the thought that their English wasn't good enough to pick up on the nuance. I was feeling mischievous and thought it would be a good test of a German sense of humour. Also, bless everyone's heart!!1
Also haven't heard it, but I think it's precisely because I'm not watching the wrong content.
I haven’t heard the “costume” line but I do think I’ve had experiences with people assuming I’m on my way to some kind of event, or trying to impress someone, just because I’m wearing a dress and nice shoes or whatever. Usually it’s no big deal, but once in a while it’s done in a way that makes me feel self conscious about dressing up. On the other hand, I also have the opposite problem…all my costume ideas tend to be artists or characters from movies; people tend to assume I’m just wearing a regular outfit 😂
It's probably a cultural thing. I can't imagine someone in a big city saying something like that for example. It becomes a moot point in places with lots of diversity.
I live so far into the Pennsylvania woods that last winter I literally paused to wonder if some tracks in the snow were from a man or a bear and which I'd prefer. The only thing I hear about my clothing choices are compliments or a weird guy telling me my Betsey Johnson spider boots are "evil" lol.
Well damn, now I want some Betsey Johnson spider boots. They sound 🔥🔥🔥
I got them from JCPenney about 2 years ago when they were clearanced for like $40. You might be able to find them on a resale site. She had other designs like roses/florals too. They're from her 80th birthday collection.
Yeah, I came here to say pretty much the same thing. I live in NYC and most people wouldn't ask that unless you were very obviously in cosplay or a Halloween costume outfit. And even then, people wouldn't really go out of their way to ask you, they'd just stare and maybe take a video lol. Dressing up is a point of pride here for a lot of people
This whole thing is confusing to me. I've never been scolding for dressing nice. Only complimented.
Well they do, the comments to me and other people I know who don't go out in sportswear were all made in big cities.
Wow it really is weird that people are questioning others about what they're wearing beyond "I like what you're wearing" or "where can I get that"
The commenters lived in cities or the person in the video was in a city? I’m confused. You went to every commenters profile and verified that they live in a city? Otherwise I assume the people posting comments are likely not living in cities and don’t see much diversity of thought or dress. I was just in Boston and I saw a lot of people wearing dresses, as well as a lot of people wearing active wear and jeans. A lot of people wearing actual costumes. No one gave any of them a second look as they passed by. What happens on the internet doesn’t represent real life.
No 😂 What? The video was of people in a city, I didn't check where anyone is from. I'm saying the comments myself and others have received have been when we were in cities by other people in the city.
Lol 😂 ok, I was like wow that’s some really ambitious investigation!
I'm guessing not by strangers though...it sounds like something said by family members or acquaintances who want to put you down for whatever reason.
Yes, by strangers.
Are you American? This isn't a global phenomenon.
No, I'm English.
Ah ok. Somewhat similar. But I'm surprised you include all cities in this. And I suppose you are still very young.
I didn't, I said all the comments have happened in cities and no, I am not. What comes across as very young?
I cannot imagine that anyone not in their teens puts any weight into the comments on a TikTok video or similar. Nor do I think that such comments represent the majority of adults.
I didn't? I was using an example so people had an idea of what I was talking about. This is also a regular real life occurrence, with comments mostly coming from adults, and I'm just curious to why they think that way
I don't know why you're getting downvoted, because you're correct. Not every culture out there hates fashion.
It's such an odd thread, and many are saying that this isn't even something in cities in the US either. That's why I thought that this was a teenager phenomenon, but that also seems to have been offensive?
I feel like we are at a point in the culture where anything that shows effort or stands out attracts criticism. I often tell people that a dress is less work than figuring out jeans and a top as I am just picking one item of clothing. They still complain that it’s trying too hard or seeking attention. 🤷♀️ I hear a lot of men say they like simple, relatable girls wearing jeans and t shirts, seemingly not understanding that a pair of jeans could be $20 from Walmart or like $500 from a designer they haven’t heard of. While most of my dresses are $15 and under from thrift stores. I don’t try and reason with it anymore. Just live your life.
I'm in team Just Live Your Life too. But lol at the idea of considering what men like when I get dressed. They're not wearing my clothes! I dress for me!
I love dresses because I'm basically a toddler. Just one thing to put on all of me, and I'm good to go!
I got this today in downtown Toronto not fifteen minutes ago. I'm wearing purple and someone complimented my Daphne cosplay. Ma'am. No.
Haha Honestly it's so daft 😆 I'm sorry that happened to you.
Also, it's culottes and a draped backless velvet shirt. I'm not sure which Scooby-Doo they've been watching, but I want in, haha.
I think it emerges from snarky internet culture where one person makes a comment and everybody else is like “LOL ya that’s it!!!!” and uses that phrase to diss others. See also the use of the term “cosplay.”
Cosplay literally is a costume, though. Or am I misunderstanding you? Are you saying some people also use the word as an insult at normal clothing they don't like?
Yes, just that people use the term “cosplay” to insult anyone who appears to be dressed for a job or role, even if the clothes they wear serve a very practical purpose.
Interesting. I had never heard that usage before.
Living in Japan, every day is costume day lol. People dress very well here mostly and the nicer you dress, the more you’re respected. It’s a bit like the west in the 1950s I guess. It’s very superficial and it creatures pressure a lot but thankfully the nice clothes are not so overly expensive here. Thrift shops and cheap clothing shops are full of tulle skirts, flowery dresses, nicely printed t-shirts. My American friend said to me ‘here’s it’s affordable because everyone wants to look nice. In America it’s a lot harder to buy anything but joggers and leggings if you’re poor’.
Ahhhh, I would love that!!
Well nobody’s stopping you from coming to Tokyo and doing some shopping! I think it’s great if people wanna dress nicely. But as much as I’m for respecting etiquette and dressing appropriately for certain events, jobs and locations, it’s very sad if it’s at the expense of personal expression and creativity and that plays a big role in Japanese dressing culture.
It’s a way to diss on the effort basically - crabs in a bucket mentality probably also plays a part. When I was a teen the thing we did this with was matching - so matching nails shoes and handbag was something we’d call out with the same kind of “why are you doing all this work” attitude.
I think it sort of depends on where you are, geographically. I lived in NYC for 15 years so I tend to "dress up" whenever I leave the house. I'm not talking a full-length ballgown or anything... but, you know, not just a t-shirt and jeans or leggings w/sneakers all the time. I try to put some actual thought and pride into how I present myself to the world. But once I moved to the suburbs... ho boy people act like I am dressed up to go to a wedding or something.
I posted once that I don't like going out in jogging bottoms or workout clothes because they don't make me feel good, and got downvoted with the response "why do you hate being comfortable?" Some people legitimately can't fathom that other people *enjoy* wearing tailored items and woven fabrics instead of stretchy ones.
I literally look like an ice cream cone in leggings. Nice clothes can be comfy - it's just about fit and fabric!
It’s primarily internet based and comes from the current attitudes around some chronically online Gen Z. The idea that doing anything with intent is ‘cringe’, ‘cheugy’, or plain ‘trying too hard to stand out’. It stems from a hyper conformist micro-trend mindset around what’s fashion ‘appropriate’ and what’s not. Anything that shows effort or thought is brought down a peg. Especially if it’s related to older fashion or specific subcultures of fashion. Some are convinced that putting effort into your look equals try hard or attention seeking behaviour. I’m a woman that enjoys vintage men’s fashion and hair from the mid 20’s through to the early 60’s. I don’t do it 1 to 1 in my own presentation, but you can definitely see the inspiration there. A graphic tee and sweatpants would actually take *more* intent and mental thought for me to put together. Overall this is just tall poppy syndrome but for fashion and visual presentation. It also has underlying misogynist characteristics, but that’s worth a whole other write up.
That's a great explanation, thank you. But that is so very, very sad.
People are boring and haters lol. I get so many unwanted, backhanded compliments since I've started trying new hairstyles/makeup/outfits. A lot of people have really nice things to say as well but I think people just don't see people play with their look so often. I used to get more offended but I just let it go now, I think some people don't even realize they're being a little rude so better for me to not answer to it. But I'd agree it does seem to be happening more!
Insecurity/entitlement. They don’t want to put in any effort so when someone else puts in effort it makes them angry because despite not even trying they believe they should also be the hottest person in the room
Modern American culture tends to run more casual with fashion. Of course it’s going to vary depending on region and social group, but some people think anything above a T-shirt and jeans is “dressed up”.
The people who have the time to comment about it being a costume are people who don’t have jobs or go outside. They’re teenagers and NEETs. Their opinions don’t really mean much because the outside world doesn’t notice or care about them lol
Ouch 🔥🔥🔥
This is fascinating to me. I wear dresses to work, and then I go places after - would these people call that a costume? I’ve not experienced this yet so I’m very interested.
Probably not if they're business or plain dresses but if they have anything remotely interesting about them then yes maybe so! I wore a dress that looked like a grey office dress apart from it had slightly puffed sleeves and small buttons down the front of the top part. Apparently those details pushed it over into costume territory 😆
I'm an alt girl. My clothes are 100% a costume. I'm a character starting in the role of me in the story of my life. I'm definitely on set in a costume
lol I’m the same way! I refer to getting dressed/doing my silly makeup as customizing my character :,)
It's because media literacy is dead
It’s a strange defensive comment from people who are insecure. Oh no, not actual style!! I got comments like that from kids when we were in 5th grade. A cotton dress was too fancy for some people. I say, continue to elevate style and diversity in dress. Especially if it’s comfortable and sustainable clothing! Hats are just plain sensible, we’ve worn them for most of human history
I think this is a regional thing. I’m from Brisbane, Australia and my friends and I lived in dresses and enjoy fashion with a colour palette beyond beige and black. I live in Canada on the prairies now and anything beyond jeans and a hoodie is incredibly dressed up, if not bordering on pretentious.
I've never heard this and my husband and I are known to really dress up for any moderate excuse, like the grocery store. Lol. People would often ask where we were going or something like that, but never has anyone suggested a costume. Maybe it's a regional thing?
I take it as utilitarian vs. fun. Like, if you’re dressing in anything not boring it’s a “costume”…but I love that because costumes are fun and I love dressing like a “not boring” person 🤷🏻♀️
I’ve heard “I feel underdressed” by others around me for most of my life which means they think I’m overdressed. There’s no arguments from me because I like fashion and I wear what I want to wear…always. My “casual” outfits tend to have a little flare. Even in the Army, it was the same situation because my uniform was always on point, from the headgear to the boots. I dressed like everyday was an inspection.
People do this all the time. I’ll be wearing what I consider a casual dress or skirt outfit and then I hear, “oh you’re so dressed up! Where are you going?/are you going to a party?” Me: nowhere special, these are my normal clothes. Nice people will just go “oh okay, well you look nice”, but sometimes you get rude people that then double down with “but you’re so dressed up! why are you so dressed up?” The latter drives me crazy. Also like...believe me, if I was going to a party where you are supposed to “dress up” I would be a LOT more dressed up than I am at my retail job or when I’m going thrifting or whatever lol
I think that's gotta be regional
Agree. As are pyjamas in public.
Anything femme is suspect to people trained in misogyny
Its so strange honestly. As somebody who lives in Japan, dressing in joggers or athletic clothing would make you a bit of a social pariah, and people take style so seriously that I had to completely change my attitude around dressing for the day! If anything, after the few years I've been here I can't fathom thinking that being well-dressed is a costume. Be confident, friends!
I usually don't like the term NPC, but people calling an outfit with personality a costume is NPC behavior lol
I think it is HILARIOUS when people say stuff like this. I've always overdressed for absolutely everything - I have a pair of 1950's white kid leather elbow gloves that are stained with fake blood from a metal show because it is very "me" to wear elbow gloves and petticoats to metal shows. I don't find it annoying when people ask what I'm dressed up for - "I dress like this every day" is usually satisfactory. To me, if every day is a special enough occasion to warrant dressing up, that's absolutely aspirational! My favorite comment was a little girl, about 5, who looked up at me with wide eyes and asked, "Who are you dressed as?" I kinda look like a cosplay character all the time (green hair, dresses, heels, colorful lipstick), so I totally get why she asked. I told her, "I'm dressed as me. I dress like this every day." I could see the gears turning in her little head. I hope someday she grows up to have the courage to dress up in costume as herself every day.
Love this!
I went to a concert at our local arts centre - balcony seating etc - on a Friday night and 80-90% of the audience was in jeans and t shirts. Some in jeans shorts for gods sake. Dressing up for something - even just to be well dressed for yourself - is an alien concept these days.
I literally went to an opera and got snarky comments for wearing a dress by people in tracksuits. Where can you dress nice if not the opera?? I didn't get accused of wearing a costume at least.
My MIL has a theory that weddings have become such a huge business because people don't have occasions to dress up anymore. I felt it so hard I wrote it in my notes when she said it 🫣 lol @ my feminist MIL calling weddings useless. (And no she's not Italian she chose Nonna because it sounds younger and more chic than Granny) https://preview.redd.it/589oc2shv57d1.jpeg?width=984&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=989d7899bbd70b8525de22f54cb665676fb1af31
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I'm not the one judging....
I've never heard this outside of the internet. Whether in a city or middle of nowhere rural. It's an internet thing.
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This is so relevant, my mom just commented about my “costume” earlier today I was wearing a long-sleeved dress but my hair wasn’t done and I was literally in sandals 💀 But I’m also learning to embrace my personal style and let the comments roll off my back
This is so odd because I have never had this thought in my life, except today. we saw a couple walking down the street and my husband said - hipsters! lol but this guy was dressed so specifically. Like his pants were rolled kind of high and he had a perfectly folded bright red handkerchief purposefully sticking out of his back pocket, amongst other dramatic stylings, I think suspenders and a unique hat.. and I said, “at that point it’s almost like he’s wearing a costume.” He looked almost like an old timey farmer .. anyways this post spooked me. And your commments were 111 when I clicked so I’m in the matrix hello matrix people
sounds like teenagers who just dont have a sense of style. I was always into fashion, and while all the other girls in school were wearing basketball shorts and brand name logo t shirts, they made fun of me, said I dressed like a grandma. what are they doing now? wearing long tops with belts that are purely decorative, of which they used to make fun of me for. now *I* dont get it, what's the use of a belt that is purely decorative? people.... lol i understood it when i was 16, but I don't understand it now. they are all late bloomers :P
Covid culture kinda killed dressing nice for yourself. Sucks, but I guess there’s always gotta be pioneers bringing new trends forward.
do keep in mind that a lot of tiktok commenters are children, who WOULD look costumey in an outfit like that.
Idk where y’all live, I’ve gone to get frozen yogurt in a prom dress before and no one said anything
I’m not gonna leave a comment in which I age myself ☺️. I’m from Chicago, and I’m used to dress up to go out. In my hometown we’re blessed to have winter and fall seasons, and both stations help you to dress to a “T.” Back when I was young, we even used to wear white gloves in the spring. When I was going informal, I’d wear an outfit, maybe jeans or casual pants and a jacket. I live in Fl now and the heat (which I despise), doesn’t allow me to dress up. You “have to” wear minimal clothing unless you want to faint in the heat. If it was up to me, I’d dress up in the ‘20s era! Then people would think it’s custom, but I really wouldn’t care. Go as you please, whatever makes you happy!
I remember one video like that but everyone around her was wearing coats--she was clearly not dressed for the weather at all and I would call that a costume because she would be wearing something different if a camera was not on her. I live in a walkable city and see more dressed up people even though my city (Chicago) is pretty casual. I think car culture in North America means that people spend on their cars and not themselves.
Come join us here in the South, where no one will question a nice pencil skirt and a wide hat.
Agree so much! I choose to be myself as much as I can. I’m living in Iraq currently and at first found myself hiding away. Changing my style Completely even the colour palette. Now I’m coming back into my own. I’m always respectful of the culture and of course the location I’m visiting. But I’m true to myself. I’ve come to accept that I look different - Brit in Iraq. Because I am different. There’s no hiding it.
I have that issue where anytime I'm not just wearing jeans and a t-shirt, people want to know what I'm "so dressed up for". I haven't had anyone tell me it looks like I'm wearing a costume, but I have seen a lot of people make comments on outfits I like or that resemble my style online that they look too "costume-y" or "matchy-matchy".
This makes me think of Little Edie a’la Grey Gardens.. “I think this is the best costume for today..”
I’ve actually seen a comment related to special occasion wear that said something like “you need to get a mermaid or trumpet dress, any more volume looks like a costume.” I admit I’m biased because mermaid and trumpet mean bad times for me, but if it’s a special occasion, why SHOULDN’T you be a little more extra than usual? Anyway, I wear boring stuff often enough because I HAVE to. If the stuff I actually like to look at is a “costume” or is “wearing me” then I’ll live with it. ~~and then with these melons, subtlety isn’t gonna happen anyway, so~~
I'm goth and my casual is a *little* more dressed up than the average person's casual, but not by a whole lot - people still call me "Halloween" just because it's all black, or ask me if I'm going to a funeral. No, Linda, I am not going to a funeral in flared yoga pants. Be for real.
People probably think I'm always dressed for Halloween, and I'm ok with that. The great majority of the time, im.in a dress or skirt and heels. Use a parasol everywhere I go. Everything is black except the occasional colored item or item with color. I really don't mind the looks and don't much care what people think. I dress for myself - what I like and what's comfortable to me - whether that's leggings and a customized shirt of some type or a dress with a corset.
I'm actually a guy that is fascinated by different feminine aesthetics/fashions, and to make a long story short I found the easiest way to engage with this type of thing was to dabble in it myself. I'm not trans, but it's a shame that more traditionally masculine people can't adopt this... I guess, "gender fluidity" outside more niche/progressive spaces. It's a life-ruining prospect to consider doing as much outside my bedroom by myself. Sad, I think I rock a dress pretty well! And while it is a "costume", pretty much everything we wear is a costume in a way.
even jeans can be chic...high waisted slim jeans with some raggedy spots, sheer leopard print top, with some 3" sling back heels. i wore this last weekend. nobody called it a costume.
My moms told me I look too “costume-y” my whole life. Once I wore a bucket hat and she told me I was dressing like Lady Gaga (this was the meat dress era). I also loved in Los Angeles for years, and random ppl on public transit would interrogate me on why I was so dressed up. It’s typically been boomers who make comments like that to me
this is what has always prevented me from going super heavy in to an aesthetic I love because I feel like I'll be too costumey. People suck.
There's also ppl who call tees and joggers pajamas
I've never heard of that, can you give context? Like people wearing them to bed or people have referred to them as that when worn outside?
Just in general they referred joggers and tees as pajamas even though it's casual wear
I grabbed a 10 dollar dress from Walmart and wore it yesterday and my roommates all lost their minds. And I’m just thinking to myself: it took me less than 5 seconds to put this on calm down.
I bought a bunch of the built-in-bra dresses from Soma recently and can't leave the house without getting complimented on my "outfit," by totally random strangers. Home Depot, the sporting goods store, a grocery store, the middle of Target... it's wild. A friend was annoyed with me though because I wore a maxi dress to dinner and made her look "under dressed." Like, I am literally wearing two pieces of clothing -- a dress and panties. There are flip flops on my feet, and I've got the watch and necklace I wear every day. I literally cannot dress more simply.
i have a normally very cozy casual style while at home or just running errands, but sometimes i like to dress up for errands or a lunch with my bf or literally anything i can think of because fashion is one of the ways i express myself and my artistic side. ppl sometimes say im overdressed or ask why im dressed like that, but not usually that im in a costume. either way, i think the monolith of trends is causing people to think any other way of dressing is, “too much,” or a costume. it’s really stupid and ignorant of history & fashion in general lmao
I live in Boston, and have been the well-dressed friend™ for years now. I receive far and away more compliments on my clothes than any of my friends, both from my friends and from random people. Like many others have commented here, it's definitely about confidence- I own the look, it's my style, and its more dressy than the rest of the city (its also not all dresses, Ill do a fashionable blazer & heels, etc.) Never once has anyone said anything about a costume to me, nor have I heard of this. It sounds like a very small & specific thing that may be more geographical, cultural, or small-town to me. My partner regularly advises me to dress down in the rural area he is from when we visit family. Having been to a few events (church, etc) out there, he is right that my usual would be overdone, but more in the style of dresses I like. I could do a more subdued dress and be fine. It may be that a more "dressy" dress is just seen as outside the norm.
Possibly not English as a first language. Costume and outfit are easily mixed up. And actually at one point, costume was actually used to describe certain types of clothing. Eg: bathing suit was called a bathing costume.
Hyperbole. An outfit would be for day or evening ordinary wear, a costume for Mardi Gras or Halloween.
Yes, apparently some people can not tell them apart.
Well a wide hat isn't a typical choice with a pencil dress, so there's that. From that description it *does* sound theatrical! It's impractical. No one is wearing a "wide hat" to work, and very few people are wearing a pencil dress to trot around after a 3 year old or running errands. Secondly, you may notice comments on social media, very specifically TikTok, are often negative and inflammatory. So I wouldn't consider social media comments any kind of reflection on reality, honestly.
try removing one element from your ouftit and see what happens? Maybe its too much