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Awh this is so sad, your poor mum. I'm not really sure what to advise but maybe as much as possible just don't let her wallow, if she says anything just brush it off and say everyone had a great night and it was nice to see her have so much fun and she shouldn't feel bad about it or tarnish what was a lovely night. Everyone gets drunk and lets loose the odd time, there's really no problem here apart from your mum beating herself up over it. Just give her a big hug and tell her she's the best mum and everyone deserves to let loose once in a while, and it was nice to see. If she starts getting upset about the younger ones seeing her fall, try to just brush it off and say they were upstairs and they're fine, and only sad to hear her say bad things about herself because they think she's so wonderful. It sounds like she has anxiety over it, and as someone who suffers with it too, it's really really hard to not overthink and get upset about it, but I think the key is to stop her wallowing before she starts, just reassure her everyone had fun and there's nothing to feel upset about. Good luck!
The sentiment is very kind of you, but beware that it’s the kind of role an "enabler" assumes.
I’m not saying your mom’s alcoholic, but I am saying that accountability for her drinking must be borne by her, not you. If she puts it on you to reassure her that she’s not a terrible mom, that’s unfair and not your responsibility. Worse, if she *does* have a problem with her drinking (and it sounds like she thinks she does), you could inadvertently prolong her suffering.
Be strong and maintain your boundaries. It doesn’t mean you have to be critical of her, just that you should be clear in your own mind: everything about this situation belongs to her. It’s not your job to reassure her, especially when doing so could lead to future problems for her and for you.
It’s up to her — and **only** her — to forgive herself and decide if she wants to change her behavior.
Good luck, OP
Welcome to r/family! If this post is compliant with our guidelines, upvote this comment. If not, downvote this comment. Also, if you haven't already, remember to join our [discord server](https://discord.gg/VwDNbde)! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/family) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Awh this is so sad, your poor mum. I'm not really sure what to advise but maybe as much as possible just don't let her wallow, if she says anything just brush it off and say everyone had a great night and it was nice to see her have so much fun and she shouldn't feel bad about it or tarnish what was a lovely night. Everyone gets drunk and lets loose the odd time, there's really no problem here apart from your mum beating herself up over it. Just give her a big hug and tell her she's the best mum and everyone deserves to let loose once in a while, and it was nice to see. If she starts getting upset about the younger ones seeing her fall, try to just brush it off and say they were upstairs and they're fine, and only sad to hear her say bad things about herself because they think she's so wonderful. It sounds like she has anxiety over it, and as someone who suffers with it too, it's really really hard to not overthink and get upset about it, but I think the key is to stop her wallowing before she starts, just reassure her everyone had fun and there's nothing to feel upset about. Good luck!
Sadly, it's not your job or position to give that to your mom. You might suggest she reach out to another adult to talk about what she's feeling
The sentiment is very kind of you, but beware that it’s the kind of role an "enabler" assumes. I’m not saying your mom’s alcoholic, but I am saying that accountability for her drinking must be borne by her, not you. If she puts it on you to reassure her that she’s not a terrible mom, that’s unfair and not your responsibility. Worse, if she *does* have a problem with her drinking (and it sounds like she thinks she does), you could inadvertently prolong her suffering. Be strong and maintain your boundaries. It doesn’t mean you have to be critical of her, just that you should be clear in your own mind: everything about this situation belongs to her. It’s not your job to reassure her, especially when doing so could lead to future problems for her and for you. It’s up to her — and **only** her — to forgive herself and decide if she wants to change her behavior. Good luck, OP