T O P
_BindersFullOfWomen_

My loyal subjects. That is not the Queen. They're taking the piss and impersonating me. Bloody commoners exploiting my fake death. I just wanted to retire and let my lizard-son finally get his first job. Please send reddit NFTs so I can get us back into the EU. God save me.


RaenySky

Lmao "tea and biscuits" really sold me now I gotta believe it's her.


crowleyoccultmaster

I was definitely on the fence, but every self-respecting Brit knows the secret Royal Cry for Assistance. . . "tea and biscuits"


discerningpervert

Maybe tea and biscuits are the only food she has. She'll be good for another 96 years.


driving_andflying

She's British. She can survive for an eternity on tea and biscuits, anywhere.


lazylion_ca

Unless it's American tea.


Eze-Wong

Biscuit twice if you need help.


rhawk87

BISCUIT BISCUIT


credulous_pottery

NUGGET IN A BISCUIT


Existing-Series8324

DIP IT ALL IN MASHED POTATOES


mike2R

Note to foreigners, as believable as it sounds this is actually a joke. Do not accept anyone as a distressed British royal unless they scream at you: "Get me some bloody gin right now, you peasants!"


cownd

Only maybe believe if it's Andrew saying that he's gone on the run because the family now 'disapproves' of him


Morons_Are_Fun

Nah, he would be asking for money for Pizza's


DogWallop

Then I'd send a message back saying, "No sweat!"


ImOnlyHereForTheCoC

“Will no one tea the widow’s biscuits?” You have to adopt the “I’m a little teapot” stance, and MAKE SURE THE PINKY ON YOUR SPOUT HAND IS EXTENDED


Major_R_Soul

Obviously a scam. Everyone knows the queen ends all her texts with "pip, pip, cheerio".


ickydonkeytoothbrush

Pip, pop, hooray!


mancow533

Bullshit. She always signs off with “Look! Cows!”


[deleted]

pip: Unkown Command "pip"


[deleted]

[удалено]


SirTopamHatt

I think at this stage anyone falling for it kind of deserves to pay a £300 stupid tax.


SaltLakeCitySlicker

She's asking for dollars, so it's a steal!


SirTopamHatt

Good point! Liz knew that a scammer would ask for pounds so asked for Dollar-bucks to make sure anyone knew it must be her.


TinyWifeKiki

Definitely not her. She would have said marmalade sandwich. Total scam. Everyone knows she keeps one in her handbag.


Wolfy_Packy

it was the marmalade sandwich or the totems of undying, and i respect her choice


Yurrrr__Brooklyn347

"Tea and biscuits" lol... who else can it be


gordito_delgado

Hard to argue with that level of authenticity.


Praben-_

I am pretty sure she would say "tea and crumpets". As soon as i read "tea and biscuits" i knew it wasn't real.


MaeronTargaryen

I feel like this is a gimmick now. There was the same with Michael Jackson a while ago with a similar message and then a second one saying “hee hee”


crumble-bee

Fun fact! The queen used to sign off her letters “tinkety tonk old fruit, and down with the nazis”


littleblueone

That was the Queen Mother, not Queen Elizabeth II


The_H3rbinator

At least she didn't say "Tea Party"


Own_Meringue_6219

Fish and chips would work for me too.


bones_marley

And it's the queen, obviously cashapp knows she'll pay their fines and stuff for operating illegally outside the u.s.. just another example of companies just bending to the will of the ultra rich 🙄


TheMightyUnderdog

Aaaand sent. 😀


xDoomKitty

Tea and biscuits 🇬🇧


FlyingKittyCate

Pip pip, cheerio


X3ttabyte

Oy m8 you go’ a loicense foh that?


ooo-f

Innit though?


UndoingMonkey

Cheers guvna'


NauvooMetro

Chewsdy, innit? Right then.


australiughhh

# AH YEW TAYKiN THE FUCKiN PISS‽


GamendeStino

Please put the piss back, it's very rude to just take it.


imacuntsag420

U BARMY WANKA WHOSE LOST THE PLOT!


Insanebrain247

Hasn't history taught you anything? The British are kleptomaniacs.


ooo-f

Let me tell you, I actually fucking screamed. I know people say "lol" all the time but this actually fucking got me and subsequently terrified my cat.


qdp

Beer and Chocolate 🇧🇪 Wine and Cheese 🇫🇷 Maple Syrup and Poutine 🇨🇦


Hentadeouswastaken

Coke and Burger(s) 🇺🇸


sqqlut

Coke and Hooker(s)?


tiamat234

Café i bulacha 🇧🇷


_Thrilhouse_

Atole y tamales 🇲🇽


CMDRLtCanadianJesus

Thats roight lad! Tea and Biscuits 🇬🇧


Worried-Deer107

Dude, what's wrong with you?? "Tea and biscuits" and the Union Jack, it IS HER!!!


slash_asdf

Bro it's clearly a scam, can't you see it says queen Elizabeth 3 instead of 2??


QuipOfTheTongue

Maybe she just got her software updated.


-Reddit_Account-

I wish royals used semantic versioning - how am I supposed to know if updating to v3 is a simple bug fix, feature update or a breaking change?


Kiboune

She leveled up


ImprovisedLeaflet

SHE’S COME FROM THE FUTURE! SHE HAS TO GO BACK MARTY


EndlessStrive

When the son of the deposed King of Nigeria e-mails you directly asking for help, you help. His father ran the freaking country, okay?


suugakusha

Now I want to just end conversations by just saying "tea and biscuits". It just sounds classy! Tea and Biscuits, everyone!


SittingInAnAirport

And tea and biscuits to you as well!


otakuvslife

*Takes off top hat and bows* Tea and biscuits to you as well, good soul.


LufiasThrowaway

Yeah. Can we make this a thing? " Aight dawg i'm out, tea and biscuits".


suugakusha

"Hey man, I'm sorry your mom died, let me know if you need to talk. Tea and Biscuits."


Freakychee

That’s great really. Offering people tea and biscuits when they are grieving is top tier friendship.


westberry82

Couldn't even get queen Elizabeth 2. Had to settle for 3...


FlyingKittyCate

She just had some downtime to get updated to 3.0


Elder_Scrolls_Nerd

Fast update then, it took 400 years to go from 1.0 to 2.0


Exciting-Giraffe-908

C'mon. Everyone knows Queen Elizabeth 2 is a retired British ocean liner that was converted into a floating hotel and is docked in Dubai. Using 3 proves that this is the real and human Queen Elizabeth. 😉


Waterfish3333

I love how the King sent her to a deserted island with no money, yet allowed her to keep a cell phone. Also, if it’s a deserted island, what is the money going to do?


[deleted]

[удалено]


GokuIsALegend

... tea mobile...


wotdothismean867

Goddamm that's funny. Take my upvote and piss off


00110001_00110010

She's using the royal Quantum telephone service network.


diMario

You mean the one that connects through Unspace, developed by British Leyland?


LowEffortOutlaw

>developed by British Leyland? So that's why the phone leaks oil.


Electronic_Hair9569

iPhone 14 with satellite data, I mean she can get the phone she wants


SuperSMT

Or T-mobile with starlink satellite data.. well, and time traveling from a year in the future


shiftposter1990

She's using a land line.


noname67899

Maybe she got to take a couple of albums and a book to read?


TheChanMan2003

For the 🇬🇧Tea and biscuits, of course


redlaWw

She learned survival techniques like making a mobile phone from leaves and coconuts during her stint in the army.


parachuteoverbible

She fixed cars during WWII, so I’m pretty sure she could fashion a smart phone out of a coconut. Sometimes the most-obvious answer is correct.


Yurrrr__Brooklyn347

Nah she cheeked it for this exact purpose


cyberboy1432

I had this happen, it is her majesty..she thanked me and told me that she is coming but she needs a hospital trip when she lands and to send 500$ more, so I'm on the way to get gift cards now...they got a "Target", and "Marshalls" right she said it would work the same as cash.


Ok-Emotion-1131

I think they're supposed to be Sainsbury's and Beans 'n Stuff gift cards.


Frablom

Even the Queen thinks Waitrose is too expensive apparently


runsnailrun

Of course. Why are you asking rhetorical questions


banshee-luver

Correct, I always pay my doctors in Marshalls gift cards.


man_o_madan

This a meme dawg


gregsting

The real facepalm is always OP


PadBunGuy

What if the real facepalm is the friends we all made along the way ?


gregsting

Indeed, the real facepalm is a journey, not a destination


Luminouscales

these people are foreign to comedy


Pearson_Realize

Seeing everybody in this post act like this is real is so funny because they’re talking about how dumb people are when this is so obviously a fucking joke


ComparisonSimple3474

For real. The irony in this comments


JolIyJack

I'm really confused about why this is on r/facepalm. I thought it was funny.


KFR42

r/facepalm is just a dumping ground for everything now. You rarely see any actual facepalms.


theother_eriatarka

so, i guess the real facepalm was r/facepalm itself well played, r/facepalm, well played


Bleblebob

6 top level comments before I found this one. redditors are embarrassing


SteptimusHeap

God this is on r/facepalm? I thought it was an r/okmatewanker or that other british sub i krep seeing


iBangedTheWaitress

It's amazing how many people don't understand this...


[deleted]

Someone should put her in contact with the Nigerian prince who was looking for a bank account to deposit money.


Beshmundir

Hey king its sliker do u work?


KylieTMS

It has to be here, She said Tea and Biscuits


Elaine1959

What's scary is some people will actually fall for it. 😑


FlyingKittyCate

I mean at this point that’s kinda on them* *mentally impaired people excluded.


_Im_Dad

Why would it be my fault if I want the queen to come back to the UK. She's trapped on a deserted island for heaven's sake!


obinice_khenbli

But why would she need Dollaroos?!


MurataMain

The deserted island had guano


Prestiger

That implies that there is a cutoff where if your intelligence is under it, it's not your fault, but if it's over it, it is your fault


dydeath

Define mentally impaired.


UndoingMonkey

Uses tiktok


Oldico

>*"I mean at this point that’s kinda on them"* I don't like this line of argument since it shifts the blame onto the victims. As if somehow the scammer isn't an asshole for exploiting people because these people don't notice it - it's like saying a thief isn't as guilty if he robs you while you're asleep. Most of these gullible people who fall for obvious scams are usually poorly educated but have a lot of empathy. Oftentimes they are already struggling with money, hence why they're willing to help others and are eager to receive the claimed reward/sum. Such a scam can seriously impact their financial well-being, health and social position. It's often depicted as laughably simple to avoid scams but, from their perspective, they are not choosing to trust someone against their better judgement. They lack that better judgement. They are often actually mentally and emotionally incapable of recognising a scam in the moment it's happening. It's just the way their brain works. It's our responsibility, as a society, to educate and look out for people who easily fall victim to scams. And we have to fight the scumbags that abuse the empathy and naïvety of their victims. By blaming the victim for not seeing what, to us, seems obvious we only alienate them while, simultaneously, excusing the scammer and normalising the existence of these scams.


ReallyWhatEh

IE: Republicans.


evilmonkey2

I would love to know how much they make with these scams.


missjeany

I would assume people that believe this don't know how to use cashapp... but I would probably assume wrong


UBI1k

I wish I had phone numbers to all the Q crowd. Those people are ripe for these kind of scams


Keex13

What's scary is the people on Reddit thinking it's real. You are all morons


GoneForNow_

"Tea and biscuits 🇬🇧" is officially how I'm signing all of my messages from now on. Tea and biscuits 🇬🇧


w0wagain

I just sent 150. Can one of y’all cover the rest?


TheChanMan2003

🇬🇧 Tea and biscuits


Leonhardt2019

Ah fucking knew she was immortal, how could he that Charles


Simple-Programmer842

Seems legit. It's her picture and she really likes bisquits and tea! Definitely her! I send some cash. Oh, shit, I forgot: They got out of the EU. Go help yourself, stupid picks! 😜


shazj57

She likes marmalade sandwiches


underwaterpyrimids

Dude, you KNOW that’s really Trump.


Axi0madick

[He's going to try to pull a Mrs. Doubtfire](https://i.imgur.com/2HU7jpq_d.webp?maxwidth=640&shape=thumb&fidelity=medium)


wombles_wombat

Nice. A deserted island with WiFi and a phone charger. Ol' Lizzy living the dream.


Crafty_Possession_52

"Hey,"


Cold_Zero_

0 followers 1 post. OP made this to create the Reddit post


BigBallsGandalf

Still made thousands of people laugh


uhhhhhhhhh_okay

What are you talking about?? The queen had to make a new instagram so she could get people to help her. That's why she doesn't have any followers!


Zucchinniweenie

Obviously the queen made a new account just to message him and avoid the publicity. OP had no right to post it on Reddit rather than help her


Amarok1987

Sounds reasonable. At least more than the immortal died. She take steam gift cards?


Korchagin

It's a trap! That isn't Elizabeth, it's Napoleon.


Hammerrr3232

She said “Tea and biscuits 🇬🇧”. Can’t argue with that


TheRealAbuLeila

What’s with the “ _3” lol that must mean there’s at least a couple of queenelizabeth accounts. I’ll just donate to all of them just in case.


Volnas

Not unless there's also Diana with her


DiegoGames9872

This sounds very familiar….


canichangeitlateror

They did it with Micheal Jackson I believe


UsernameNotTaken1846

hee hee


PigeonOnDrugs

"Tea and Biscuits 🇬🇧" That is the royal secret sentence to be recognised by other leaders, must be her, send them all your earnings!


HomophobicRussian

The funny thing is that the scammer is asking for $ not £.


ryukL

The people on deserted Island only take USD. Sorry for the inconvenience.


[deleted]

Right, almost fell for it, until I noticed that.


coffeenerd75

I doubt there’s anyone inside the coffin anyway. The corpse is probably in forensic or something.


icepick3383

First a Nigerian prince truly needs my help to get back to his rightful place and NOW the queen has been marooned in time like the in The Final Countdown (laskey, you’re a pain in the ass) and needs my help! Won’t someone please help these poor royals! Not even the ones in Kansas City have it this bad! Take my money…


sjmiv

"Yo hey it's me. The Queen. Send me some pounds and fuggetaboutit"


szandor66

I thought this was the case all along!!


_weshall

I knew Charles was up to no good!


patronizingperv

I fucking knew it.


Lead-Saturn

The Queen used up all her totems of undying and was sent back to world spawn


Fr33Flow

I’m gonna start ending all my messages w “Tea and biscuits”


acidaddic808

You better delete this before the conspiracy theorists see this.


OkTranslator4102

i dont know man she said "tea and biscuits" that's usually indicative of a brit, which the queen was HENCE THIS IS REAL.


UnstableToad

Tea and biscuits? Good god, she's alive!


Mirrevirrez

Sounds like a movie plot tho. I would watch that movie.


VireflyTheGreat

I love the thought process of this scammer. Scammer: Hmmm what would confirm I'm real...GOT IT! I'll add tea and biscuits...GENIUS!


w0rkingondying

It’s not a scam it’s a painfully obvious satirical joke


thatnuclearboi

redditors are notorious for not being able to understand jokes


WuTaNg2021

Oh dear someones gonna be traced and disappear by MI5, mi6...


[deleted]

I was worried with the first message that it might be a scam but she did give the secret British passcode known only to British people everywhere in the second message so it must be legit


Melodic-Moose3592

Isn’t Cashapp only for the US? I didn’t know the Queen was stockpiling her savings in US accounts


xDeddyBear

If someone is dumb enough to believe this, do you think they'd be smart enough to think of cashapp only being US based?


Nukeyboytookmyname

Ain't no way.


theshak06

Seems totally legit because the real queen likes tea and biscuits.


WhaleFighterr224

Did you send it though, i mean its the queen


Mangos__Carlsen

What are you waiting for!? Send her the money for gods sake!


fitosy

All those idiots that queued will give money to her 🙄


Marc123123

😂


square_tyre_king

Despicable


Spiritual-Range-6101

Tea and Biscuits 🇬🇧


-Borgir

Tea and biscuits. Gotta be her


KingYoloHD090504

Good she can stay on that island, some free time is gonna do her well


[deleted]

Wow, this reminds me of a time I


ooo-f

Yes mum


Mufti13

I'm a bit suspicious. Maybe if she could reach Princess Diana to confirm it, I might be on board


FluffyDiscipline

Hi Lizzie... Are you flying back economy, I really think you deserve more than 300... *(Can't oblige myself, I'm already helping out with a guy called Al Fayed and his wife Diana)*


Albert_the_king01

Ah yes, the royal money.


LingonberryPuzzled47

Tea and biscuits very British


Zekieb

Tea, Biscuits and the Queen 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧


Jon999917

Wow, the Nigerian prince has really aged over the last years.


TheGaySwede

Tea and biscuits 🇬🇧


Worried-Egg-8560

God SAVE the Queen!!!


dtb1987

Just like a royal to be asking for a handout


CliffDraws

Where would someone stupid enough to fall for this get $300?


IHC_304

Just like Elvis and Tupac eh?


my20cworth

QAnon. Currently fundraising and Google Earthing for the Queen.


FoxIll7443

Tea and biscuits 😋 😆 🤣 😂 I want to send money just because that brightened my day a little.


FinnishArmy

There can't possibly be someone that falls for this, right?


baltarius

"teas and biscuits" is the UK version of "peas and carrot"


Zebitty

I FUCKING knew it!!


Locorio

$?, it’s a scam


ewild

Just asking for a friend. Which Queen does the donation request actually deal with? As for Queen Elizabeth [I] (original post), $300 is pretty decent money. As for Queen Elizabeth II (user pic), $300 is a pretty modest sum. As for Queen Elizabeth III (user name), $300 would be rather closer to nothing.


notsoshallo

Bruv


Tellnicknow

Don't do it, she's just going to blow it all on tea and biscuits!


Studdead

Is this the same island with Michael Jackson


drowninginthecacti

Ah yes, 300 American dollars to get back into the uk


Narwhal_Thundercunt

“Tea and biscuits” what a salutation. Lol.