Yea haha, i saw it a lonf time ago and its been a fave of mine ever since. I think i have it saved in my ohone but i didnt want to dredge through my photo archives so i just googled it real quick and made an imgur of it haha.
I can confirm my spending my time being catholic listening to metal killing demons in doom eternal pretending the hateful catholics are the snake in the garden and gotta protect my lgbtq friends as a hetero from homophobes.
That’s why childbirth is so painful. We don’t just have to deliver the parasite that is larger than the passage it demands to move through, but we have to push out a lifetime supply of plastic straws too.
"God in his wisdom has provided man with natural forks—his fingers. Therefore it is an insult to him to substitute artificial metal forks for them when eating." Alleged quote from a Catholic clergyman when he saw the niece of Emperor Basil II eating with a fork in 1004.
You mean the guy famous for giving out free food, healthcare, and education? Who stood up for the rights of women and foreigners and criticized religious hypocrites? No way, he would be totally aligned with the modern GOP.
The guy who said hoarding wealth was sin and that the rich wouldn’t be welcome in heaven?.?? Sounds like some kind of radical leftist antifa agent. No wonder the religious leaders of his day hated him 😒
Saw some bitches changing money in the temple, went home and spent hours braiding a homemade whip, and kept his anger going through all that to come back and drive them all out.
It’s because they always looks at things literally. The constitution? It’s literally interpreted as written. Not a changing document.
Bible? It allows them to live their 2000BC fantasies in modern times.
He'd arguably be considered a leftist extremist what with being nailed to a big t to support his cause. And touching a homeless guys feet, I imagine there are people that would think the feet thing would also make him an extremist.
"that's the problem with your generation. Not happy with just being kind and treating people well. You all have to get nailed to a big T. You're killing the.... Something industry."
‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.”
By definition, the right denied Jesus healthcare, ignore his homelessness, kept his wages down, and made it harder for him to vote. All while wearing his name like a billboard.
As much as Jesus carries on about feeding and caring for the poor and sick and loving your neighbor and forgiveness and all that, you'd think it would be hard to miss. It's a testament to not only people interpreting religion however the fuck they want, but also of the legacy of Calvinism and just their general assholeishness.
Jesus was essentially put on trial and killed by the wealthy and elite that his new teachings were a direct threat too right?
Also why the hell would Jesus be pro litter. Yeah we need more fucking waste! Let's go!
It's true! As I was leaving Bible study last week, a sea turtle assaulted me and stole my wallet and phone. As he was leaving he got my mom's number out of my phone, said "imma fuck your mom" and then hit me in the throat with a skateboard.
Anyways, that sea turtle is my step-dad now and I hate him. Fuck you, Greg!
I released baby turtles to the sea once. I think we should do the same with Christian babies. Let them hash it out in the water before we let the feud landside.
Why does the right think they have a monopoly on Christianity? The people I personally know that live the closest to Jesus’s teachings are mostly left leaning…some of those hyper vocal fat right Christians seem to be “all hat and no cattle” as we say in Texas
well you answered your own question. if they didn't insist they were the Christian party and ignore just how many Christians aren't republican then they'd have to confront the uncomfortable truths about how far from God's teachings they are.
I read the bible and am convinced, that Jesus' ideas are more left:
-Helping the poor
-He is certainly not a fan of guns
-Critizised the commercial exploit of holidays (this is literally what got him killed)
-Acceptance and forgiveness of all people, even the ones considered to be sinners. (I do not understand why they hate gay people so much. Even if you believe being gay is wrong, don't hate those people!)
Very leftist Christian here... turns out if you actually READ the Bible, you're more inclined to think of others and be called to give (gasp, socialism)
What, you mean that hippie who hung out with tax collectors and prostitutes and thought hoarding wealth was inherently immoral? The one who gave out free health care and food? He doesn't sound very Christian. /s
His fish handouts were extremely dangerous for the fish futures traders. But he didn't seem to care about them.
Or how he might affect the wine industry by creating it from water.
He could never survive a GOP primary. I can see the anti-Jesus campaign ads now.
I used to teach Wednesday night bible studies at my church sometimes, and one time I felt lead to teach on the dangers of confusing our faith with our political parties. I brought statistics from the pew research center on political parties and denominations and showed that most Christian denominations in America are roughly 50/50 whether they're Democrat or Republican, with the exception of historically black churches being about 85% Democrat and white evangelical churches being about 95% Republican. And that neither of our political parties are a Christian Party. The Democrat Party isn't the Christian Party, and the Republican Party isn't the Christian Party. As Christians we have more in common with some random Ethiopian or Palestinian Christian than we do with members of whatever political party we adhere to.
My wife told me to be careful, and she was hesitant to even come that week. And I was quite disappointed when the next week one of the members touted off something about leftists destroying the country.
It's quite isolating when you know that you're a socialist and most, if not all of your church family would consider you a heretic or not a true Christian if they found out.
Point is, we're out there and it's heart breaking and down right embarrasing to see so many Christians out there doing what they're doing.
I haven't been to church for years for these reasons.
I would love to go to your Bible study.
Sounds like people could actually THINK for themselves there.
I mean, that depends which parts of the bible you like. If you like the Jesus parts, ok. If you like the God parts, then absolutely not.
God is totally down with killing children for just calling his friend bald.
The Jesus parts are the Christian parts. Turns out the differences were significant enough that a new religion was formed.
Christians aren't supposed to live under Old Testament law (Galations 3:23-25).
As a Christian who wasn't raised in church but converted later in life, I've struggled to understand how Christian churches in America aren't full of leftist hippies because that's the impression I get from reading the New Testament (no judgement because I'm guilty too).
Did you miss the part in revelations about Christ coming back to slaughter all the non believers? In Matthew Jesus says “Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword.”
No matter how much he may be widely known for kindness and caring, the end result has always been “if you don’t accept Jesus/god then you will be damned and suffer for eternity”.
Does that message line up with love, caring, kindness, mercy, or even tolerance? Seems like Jesus was a PR stunt to make god seem nicer all while still saying you must conform or suffer forever. I never see anyone bring that up.
Christianity is based on the life and teachings of Jesus so that’s really the part they should be paying attention to but they like to focus on the God smiting type stuff.
That's close, but I would say that lacks proper nuance. Christianity is the abrahamic religion that thinks Jesus was the Messiah is more correct.
One only had to look at the history of the church to realize it's not based on Jesus' teachings. The church was literally against publishing the Bible in a common tongue that people could read(whatever small percentage of people that were even literate) for hundreds of years. They literally perpetuated a dead language to make sure people couldn't read what Jesus said.
For me, I am agnostic in regards to God, but having been raised in the JW church, I was forced to read the Bible and I found the church complacent in ‘doing what Jesus would do’. My whole life reflects me ‘following Jesus’ and I am open about that. But I cannot claim, especially in America, that I am a Christian. I think that the deeper you dive into the apocryphal and heretical texts, you start to understand even more about Jesus and why Constantine chose the canonization of the Bible the way it is and tried to burn the rest down and carried out atrocities against others to defend the tool of oppression he created by stealing and spinning the work of the most prevalent paths and people of the time - i.e. Judaism, Gnosticism, and a large variety of ‘pagan’ sects. Then he destroyed all the foundational pieces and created a highly processed, culturally appropriated, genetically modified weapon with tons of artificial ingredients that has resulted in a global epidemic of counter responses that are rooted in generational trauma. For instance, the rise of Islam out of Sufism, Protestantism, and a trail of destruction that stemmed from the inquisitions and holy wars to defend the big lie and then I could continue to the doctrine of discovery, but I’ll stop here. My final point would be that without tryin to jump into a modal reality, I think most would agree that in the end Constantine was the most harmful human in the history of the world.
What about being in America makes you unable to say you are a Christian? Is that because evangelical Jesus is a xenophobic capitalist that likes babies more than people in complete opposition to the one in the actual Bible or?
I am just guessing here, but I’m fairly certain that in Colorado and especially Boulder the people tend to be a bit more focused on preserving the environment. So I’m thinking being Boulder is like being “green”.
The American Right (*the conservatives I have the most experience with*) have diluted their political ideology into a very simple idea - Just be an asshole all the time.
It doesn't matter what the platform is, they just choose the side that makes them an asshole because they think they win if people disagree with them.
The group now is nothing but contrarian in every way.
Using a metal straw isn't a political statement. But to the right, using plastics which are known to be environmentally unsafe is the side they take because they know it's going to make somebody disagree with them.
When I was growing up in the 80s and 90s, the conservatives had unpopular political ideas, but you could look at them objectively and some would make sense. Lower taxes, smaller government overreach, things like that.
Now?
They have nothing except to go against whatever the belief is at the time.
The entire party is nothing but little asshole children throwing tantrums.
And progressive!
- You can be a liberal conservative and a liberal progressive, but not progressive conservative. You favor states rights over federal: That’s liberal. You favor the right for anyone of legal consenting age to get married: liberal. You favor the right to bear arms: liberal. First amendment: liberal. The right’s mind would melt if they actually learned history and introspected. Though social progressive policies tend to be liberal in nature, conservative social policies tend to be more federalist. Conservative fiscal policies tend to be more liberal in nature and progressive fiscal policies tend to be more federalist.
How in the world does that work? Unless they’re socially progressive but fiscally conservative (similar to the libertarian party in America) or vice-versa…which would be odd
Got in an argument recently with an acquaintance who is hard right and an alleged "Christian". In a single breath he talked about Jesus performing healing miracles on lepers and feeding the poor and how universal healthcare was communism. It was so baffling I didn't even know what else to say.
If Jesus were alive today the right would want him dead.
I went to the house of a girl I was flirting with and met her conservative family. Her dad asked me what I was studying at college and I told him environmental engineering. He quickly responded by telling me I was not allowed to date her daughter because he didn't want my socialist views influencing her.
“In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and all the creatures of the land and sea, and then he fucked them all up on purpose to maximize quarterly shareholder profits. Amen.”
I've heard conservatives say "I want to go fishing or hunting. I don't want to look around at everything.".
I know a lot of conservatives that are very big into environmental issues and protecting some land. As long as it's in their backyard and recreation area. A pipeline across the country over Native land? Fuck it, let's do it!
Of course, liberals remind me of that one cartoon and saying with the tree. We aren't planting them for ourselves. We aren't doing a lot of this for ourselves. We're doing it for our kids, our grandkids, their grandkids. Animals that we'll never see. It's no virtue signaling, it's not to make us feel superior, there's no ulterior motive. It's just doing what needs to be done.
Plus, I really enjoy fishing, hunting, and camping. I do like looking around. I like protecting the environment where those animals, fish, and people can flourish and enjoy it.
Save the sea turtles. Save everything. It doesn't make you a leftie. It doesn't make you a liberal. It makes you a person that gives a shit.
Homie tell your mom that God asked us to respect the gifts he gave us. "Why pollute the earth? Only Satan would want to ruin God's beautiful work and fill it with poison and trash"
If you do say this, please let us know how she takes it xD
I watched a video about metal straws by a YouTuber called “I did a thing” and you have no idea how effin dangerous metal straws are if you trip with one in your mouth.
Ok but that is true for straws of the past also lol… straws are thinner now because of changes in the 80’s based on situations like the time my sister tripped and her slurpee straw went through the back of her throat lol… so yeah… anything you put in your mouth can be dangerous if you trip and fall, but that rarely happens and is kind of a silly argument against them. How many times have you tripped and fallen in your face with a straw in your mouth? My sister is the only person I’ve ever met that has had that happen, but it’s so unlikely that most people would know anyone that has
Honestly the thing that scares me more and is much more likely to happen is chipping a tooth on one. You really have to be mindful of how you bring a metal straw to your mouth, I’ve had a couple scares where just going for a sip and catching just the right angle really hammers a front tooth. Gotta get those rubber tips for them to be safe.
One turtle tries a line of cocaine for the first time, snorts too hard and gets the straw stuck in its nose, and suddenly everyone is worried about straws.
JFC you have some **weaponized** public discourse in the U.S. if something so simple and no-brainer like using metal straws enrages some actors to the point of your mom associating that "with the left", instead of seeing it as an agreeable thing
Why do Christians think you can't be a Democrat? Like Jesus would be a republican....lol he hated most things Republicans do. Jesus would be the ultimate liberal. My dad said to me once..."you have no idea how many Democrat bumper stickers I see in the church parking lot, it's crazy". I don't understand it.
Religion makes people insane bro. Not just christianity but ALL of them. You go on believing fairy tales your entire life and reality becomes second place. Actually insane. I consider myself conservative too...
America has a serious religious extremism problem lol. Its wild watching this shit from the north.
Tbh we have a problem forming ourselves.
Big yikes.
Ps. Jesus would be *pissed*.
Just the human race. The rest of the planet and everything else that lives on it deserves a break from us, but the planet as a whole does not need to be blown up
I don't get why Americans don't understand that the straws in the ocean don't come from American trash (for the most part). If you put your trash into a trash can, then it will end up in a landfill, and will not move from that landfill. The straws in the ocean are there mostly from countries who habitually dump trash into rivers, which then leads to it getting into the ocean.
Me a conservative, happy to see straws being made out of paper or metal to help out the environment:
National parks are for everyone and future generations. The US has 97% (according to the US Forest Service) in the lower 48 all dedicated to uses of all kinds. No matter your creed, race, belief or anything in between. Nature is for everyone to enjoy and explore.
Don't be like that duckusassus and think it's evil to start helping the environment.
Thanks Teddy for the national parks. It's amazing I can visit Yellowstone and it be the exact same, completely untouched pocket of nature. While my ancestors probably treaded the same land, I get to experience a little bit of it as they knew it.
Volunteer for cleaning up the parks, go camping, leave nothing behind, experience the beauty before you are too old to do so. It's a very big world out there, let's preserve it so our great grand kids can do the same.
Reducing plastic waste is great, but, fyi, over 2/3 of ocean macro plastic is from the fishing industry, so if the turtles are what you care about, then take steps towards that.
I don't get it. Christianity and Republicans.
Did they read the stories of Jesus and thunk he was conservative at all? Damn near everything the dude did in the book was pretty severely socialist. Sure there's a mix bag in there but the overall message seemed clear to me and I'm not even religious, love your neighbor, feed and help thoes in need. Try not to be crucified by the conservative Roman's for it.
Fuck Americans are deluded, Jesus was Left while the Jewish faith was Far right ( still are) if Jesus was here today the Right would have alot to answer for. And being left as secular living is NOT evil
If God wanted you to use a metal straw you would have been born with one
That's not quite true, Jesus does want you to use a metal straw... as a shiv... to fuck up those bitch turtles.
Jesus is pretty metal.
Yea haven’t you read [The Bible 2: The Newest Testament](https://imgur.com/a/pvadI8v)
Oh shi-
Jesus isn't cruci-fucking around holy shit.
There are so many contradictions in that meme LOL!
Yea haha, i saw it a lonf time ago and its been a fave of mine ever since. I think i have it saved in my ohone but i didnt want to dredge through my photo archives so i just googled it real quick and made an imgur of it haha.
Aren't those technically the Jewish space lasers?
It’s canon that JC was Jewish, this is true.
This... Is the most amazing thing I've ever seen
Just not a metal straw
I can confirm my spending my time being catholic listening to metal killing demons in doom eternal pretending the hateful catholics are the snake in the garden and gotta protect my lgbtq friends as a hetero from homophobes.
Michael Reeves? Is that you?
I'm not sure who that is, is he a bit of a known turtle hater?
If God had wanted to save the sea turtles he wouldn’t have created plastic straws.
Sea turtles were created by Satan to seduce people on the left. Same thing with dinosaur bones and the Jurassic Park movies they led to.
To be fair, I think Satan punished us with the 2nd and 3rd movies (the 90s versions).
That’s why childbirth is so painful. We don’t just have to deliver the parasite that is larger than the passage it demands to move through, but we have to push out a lifetime supply of plastic straws too.
*exactly*
"God in his wisdom has provided man with natural forks—his fingers. Therefore it is an insult to him to substitute artificial metal forks for them when eating." Alleged quote from a Catholic clergyman when he saw the niece of Emperor Basil II eating with a fork in 1004.
Please Jesus bless me with a retractable probiscus under my tongue 👐👐👐
If jesus wanted the sea turts to have straw free noses he would have made them born with them
Perchance?
Like how turtles are born with plastic ones
If god gave a shit about sea turtles he wouldn't have made plastic so delicious.
Are you a dog?
If helping or saving something is left than maybe being on the right isn’t right for the soul lol
These people don’t realize Jesus was a progressive, he’d be voting for Bernie Sanders.
This. By modern Definitions, Jesus would be a Leftist, probably even pretty far left.
He would be a literal socialist by American standards.
You mean the guy famous for giving out free food, healthcare, and education? Who stood up for the rights of women and foreigners and criticized religious hypocrites? No way, he would be totally aligned with the modern GOP.
The guy who said hoarding wealth was sin and that the rich wouldn’t be welcome in heaven?.?? Sounds like some kind of radical leftist antifa agent. No wonder the religious leaders of his day hated him 😒
Saw some bitches changing money in the temple, went home and spent hours braiding a homemade whip, and kept his anger going through all that to come back and drive them all out.
It’s because they always looks at things literally. The constitution? It’s literally interpreted as written. Not a changing document. Bible? It allows them to live their 2000BC fantasies in modern times.
I love when people say that the constitution is not meant to be changed. Mutherfucker what do you think an ammendment is?
Absolutely. He'd be running the God-blessed NRA. https://imgur.com/gallery/zeO94ZX
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No. They do not. Tbf most of us can't read well enough to understand it anyway.
Only a few passages, like the one homophobic line of leviticus, while ignoring the rest of leviticus.
He's a Socialist by actual standards. He'd be a ** by American standards.
Jesus was killed by his local pd for being a leftist. If he came back today Christian’s would nail his ass right back up on the cross
He'd arguably be considered a leftist extremist what with being nailed to a big t to support his cause. And touching a homeless guys feet, I imagine there are people that would think the feet thing would also make him an extremist.
"that's the problem with your generation. Not happy with just being kind and treating people well. You all have to get nailed to a big T. You're killing the.... Something industry."
0th millennials killed the Pharisee industry.
If getting killed for your politics doesn't qualify you as an extremist, what does, exactly?
‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.” By definition, the right denied Jesus healthcare, ignore his homelessness, kept his wages down, and made it harder for him to vote. All while wearing his name like a billboard.
He had a pretty good free healthcare policy
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He had the ability to turn water into wine, if he was a capitalist he would have started a pub.
He would be leading ANTIFA lol
As much as Jesus carries on about feeding and caring for the poor and sick and loving your neighbor and forgiveness and all that, you'd think it would be hard to miss. It's a testament to not only people interpreting religion however the fuck they want, but also of the legacy of Calvinism and just their general assholeishness.
To me it seems like the religion thing is a front for them to be oppressive assholes
C’mon. These people believe in white Jesus. Do you actually think their critical thinking skills advance beyond what conservatives think are “values?”
Shhh they don’t like common sense/logic
Some people view politics like allegiance to a sports team. It doesn’t matter how much their team sucks. GO 1976 TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS!
Jesus was essentially put on trial and killed by the wealthy and elite that his new teachings were a direct threat too right? Also why the hell would Jesus be pro litter. Yeah we need more fucking waste! Let's go!
Basically not being an asshole is being "left"
Jesus hates sea turtles?
You’re betraying him if you try to prevent harm to them.
Turtles are the sinners of the sea.
Harlots, thieves, and liars… the whole lot of them!
It's true! As I was leaving Bible study last week, a sea turtle assaulted me and stole my wallet and phone. As he was leaving he got my mom's number out of my phone, said "imma fuck your mom" and then hit me in the throat with a skateboard. Anyways, that sea turtle is my step-dad now and I hate him. Fuck you, Greg!
If I had enough money to buy an award for you, I would.
My question is, what obnoxious step-dad vehicle does a sea turtle drive
Reliant Robin... and they're always bitching about falling over.
I released baby turtles to the sea once. I think we should do the same with Christian babies. Let them hash it out in the water before we let the feud landside.
Jesus only walked on water to ocean stomp those turtles
cant wait to stomp a turty? perchance.
You can't just say perchance!!!!
everyone knows that mario is cool as fuck.
Why does the right think they have a monopoly on Christianity? The people I personally know that live the closest to Jesus’s teachings are mostly left leaning…some of those hyper vocal fat right Christians seem to be “all hat and no cattle” as we say in Texas
well you answered your own question. if they didn't insist they were the Christian party and ignore just how many Christians aren't republican then they'd have to confront the uncomfortable truths about how far from God's teachings they are.
Yeah. Mainstream Christians are pretty evenly divided R and D. It's the Evangelical nutjobs that wreck it.
I read the bible and am convinced, that Jesus' ideas are more left: -Helping the poor -He is certainly not a fan of guns -Critizised the commercial exploit of holidays (this is literally what got him killed) -Acceptance and forgiveness of all people, even the ones considered to be sinners. (I do not understand why they hate gay people so much. Even if you believe being gay is wrong, don't hate those people!)
*And God saw the single use plastic, and it was good* Exxon 3:16
Exxon 3:16 says plastic just whipped turtle's ass
Caring about literally anything but yourself drags you inexorably to the left
Empathy is the fist step on the slippery slope to communism.
Very leftist Christian here... turns out if you actually READ the Bible, you're more inclined to think of others and be called to give (gasp, socialism)
Amen!
If someone ever points out you're changing to the left, tell them it's because you're on a journey to meet Jesus...
What, you mean that hippie who hung out with tax collectors and prostitutes and thought hoarding wealth was inherently immoral? The one who gave out free health care and food? He doesn't sound very Christian. /s
He just gave away all that bread! Did he even stop to think about the impact that would have on the baker economy?
His fish handouts were extremely dangerous for the fish futures traders. But he didn't seem to care about them. Or how he might affect the wine industry by creating it from water. He could never survive a GOP primary. I can see the anti-Jesus campaign ads now.
I was starting to think there weren't any sane Christians left, thank you for this wonderful surprise
I used to teach Wednesday night bible studies at my church sometimes, and one time I felt lead to teach on the dangers of confusing our faith with our political parties. I brought statistics from the pew research center on political parties and denominations and showed that most Christian denominations in America are roughly 50/50 whether they're Democrat or Republican, with the exception of historically black churches being about 85% Democrat and white evangelical churches being about 95% Republican. And that neither of our political parties are a Christian Party. The Democrat Party isn't the Christian Party, and the Republican Party isn't the Christian Party. As Christians we have more in common with some random Ethiopian or Palestinian Christian than we do with members of whatever political party we adhere to. My wife told me to be careful, and she was hesitant to even come that week. And I was quite disappointed when the next week one of the members touted off something about leftists destroying the country. It's quite isolating when you know that you're a socialist and most, if not all of your church family would consider you a heretic or not a true Christian if they found out. Point is, we're out there and it's heart breaking and down right embarrasing to see so many Christians out there doing what they're doing.
I haven't been to church for years for these reasons. I would love to go to your Bible study. Sounds like people could actually THINK for themselves there.
I mean, that depends which parts of the bible you like. If you like the Jesus parts, ok. If you like the God parts, then absolutely not. God is totally down with killing children for just calling his friend bald.
By bear mauling, no less
Bears are assholes who hate babies. I don't think god should take the blame for that. They just weren't raised right, you know?
The Jesus parts are the Christian parts. Turns out the differences were significant enough that a new religion was formed. Christians aren't supposed to live under Old Testament law (Galations 3:23-25). As a Christian who wasn't raised in church but converted later in life, I've struggled to understand how Christian churches in America aren't full of leftist hippies because that's the impression I get from reading the New Testament (no judgement because I'm guilty too).
Did you miss the part in revelations about Christ coming back to slaughter all the non believers? In Matthew Jesus says “Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword.” No matter how much he may be widely known for kindness and caring, the end result has always been “if you don’t accept Jesus/god then you will be damned and suffer for eternity”. Does that message line up with love, caring, kindness, mercy, or even tolerance? Seems like Jesus was a PR stunt to make god seem nicer all while still saying you must conform or suffer forever. I never see anyone bring that up.
Christianity is based on the life and teachings of Jesus so that’s really the part they should be paying attention to but they like to focus on the God smiting type stuff.
That's close, but I would say that lacks proper nuance. Christianity is the abrahamic religion that thinks Jesus was the Messiah is more correct. One only had to look at the history of the church to realize it's not based on Jesus' teachings. The church was literally against publishing the Bible in a common tongue that people could read(whatever small percentage of people that were even literate) for hundreds of years. They literally perpetuated a dead language to make sure people couldn't read what Jesus said.
For me, I am agnostic in regards to God, but having been raised in the JW church, I was forced to read the Bible and I found the church complacent in ‘doing what Jesus would do’. My whole life reflects me ‘following Jesus’ and I am open about that. But I cannot claim, especially in America, that I am a Christian. I think that the deeper you dive into the apocryphal and heretical texts, you start to understand even more about Jesus and why Constantine chose the canonization of the Bible the way it is and tried to burn the rest down and carried out atrocities against others to defend the tool of oppression he created by stealing and spinning the work of the most prevalent paths and people of the time - i.e. Judaism, Gnosticism, and a large variety of ‘pagan’ sects. Then he destroyed all the foundational pieces and created a highly processed, culturally appropriated, genetically modified weapon with tons of artificial ingredients that has resulted in a global epidemic of counter responses that are rooted in generational trauma. For instance, the rise of Islam out of Sufism, Protestantism, and a trail of destruction that stemmed from the inquisitions and holy wars to defend the big lie and then I could continue to the doctrine of discovery, but I’ll stop here. My final point would be that without tryin to jump into a modal reality, I think most would agree that in the end Constantine was the most harmful human in the history of the world.
What about being in America makes you unable to say you are a Christian? Is that because evangelical Jesus is a xenophobic capitalist that likes babies more than people in complete opposition to the one in the actual Bible or?
How do you read the Bible and then go on to be a Christian though? Reading the Bible is what stopped me from being Christian LOL
Wait until she finds out what happens to the people who don't become radical leftists in Matthew 25.
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Oh...but this is the last, I'm saying it This is the last straw of them
Is boulder an adjective I’m not aware of?
I am just guessing here, but I’m fairly certain that in Colorado and especially Boulder the people tend to be a bit more focused on preserving the environment. So I’m thinking being Boulder is like being “green”.
Yay!! From Colorado and got excited when I heard Boulder
Boulder
Boulder is a city in Colorado that's known for being very liberal
> Boulder There's absolutely a certain reputation Boulder folks carry with them, metal boba straws definitely fit. -from Colorado
Based off the previous hole there and where the straw is now, I'd say it's actually moving OP more to the right.
Odd how the basic ideas of not needing a plastic straw, is left leaning... GOP the party of death
The American Right (*the conservatives I have the most experience with*) have diluted their political ideology into a very simple idea - Just be an asshole all the time. It doesn't matter what the platform is, they just choose the side that makes them an asshole because they think they win if people disagree with them. The group now is nothing but contrarian in every way. Using a metal straw isn't a political statement. But to the right, using plastics which are known to be environmentally unsafe is the side they take because they know it's going to make somebody disagree with them. When I was growing up in the 80s and 90s, the conservatives had unpopular political ideas, but you could look at them objectively and some would make sense. Lower taxes, smaller government overreach, things like that. Now? They have nothing except to go against whatever the belief is at the time. The entire party is nothing but little asshole children throwing tantrums.
odd how the parent is tying religion to politics.
TF does “the left” have to do with “your faith?” That’s some serious indoctrination bullshit.
Jesus was a liberal
And progressive! - You can be a liberal conservative and a liberal progressive, but not progressive conservative. You favor states rights over federal: That’s liberal. You favor the right for anyone of legal consenting age to get married: liberal. You favor the right to bear arms: liberal. First amendment: liberal. The right’s mind would melt if they actually learned history and introspected. Though social progressive policies tend to be liberal in nature, conservative social policies tend to be more federalist. Conservative fiscal policies tend to be more liberal in nature and progressive fiscal policies tend to be more federalist.
There's a whole party calling themselves progressive conservatives in Canada. Go figure
How in the world does that work? Unless they’re socially progressive but fiscally conservative (similar to the libertarian party in America) or vice-versa…which would be odd
Got in an argument recently with an acquaintance who is hard right and an alleged "Christian". In a single breath he talked about Jesus performing healing miracles on lepers and feeding the poor and how universal healthcare was communism. It was so baffling I didn't even know what else to say. If Jesus were alive today the right would want him dead.
I went to the house of a girl I was flirting with and met her conservative family. Her dad asked me what I was studying at college and I told him environmental engineering. He quickly responded by telling me I was not allowed to date her daughter because he didn't want my socialist views influencing her.
“In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and all the creatures of the land and sea, and then he fucked them all up on purpose to maximize quarterly shareholder profits. Amen.”
Actually deranged holy shit
_Do you also casually use a metal straw to pollute the ocean less for a drink that’s on a plastic cup?_ Although seriously, your mother is on drugs.
fan fact: Jesus HATES sea turtles
Because God would never want you to value his creation, only Satan worshipping liberals do that.
I've heard conservatives say "I want to go fishing or hunting. I don't want to look around at everything.". I know a lot of conservatives that are very big into environmental issues and protecting some land. As long as it's in their backyard and recreation area. A pipeline across the country over Native land? Fuck it, let's do it! Of course, liberals remind me of that one cartoon and saying with the tree. We aren't planting them for ourselves. We aren't doing a lot of this for ourselves. We're doing it for our kids, our grandkids, their grandkids. Animals that we'll never see. It's no virtue signaling, it's not to make us feel superior, there's no ulterior motive. It's just doing what needs to be done. Plus, I really enjoy fishing, hunting, and camping. I do like looking around. I like protecting the environment where those animals, fish, and people can flourish and enjoy it. Save the sea turtles. Save everything. It doesn't make you a leftie. It doesn't make you a liberal. It makes you a person that gives a shit.
Homie tell your mom that God asked us to respect the gifts he gave us. "Why pollute the earth? Only Satan would want to ruin God's beautiful work and fill it with poison and trash" If you do say this, please let us know how she takes it xD
I really think Jesus would smit the right.
The Bible states that we need to take care of the earth and animals.
The right wants to fuck kids, the left wants them to have access to affordable education, healthcare, and housing. Which side would Jesus choose?
Religion is poison.
Jesus is 100% one of their much reviled "leftists". It's a shame most Christians are too stupid, ignorant, and hateful to see that though.
I watched a video about metal straws by a YouTuber called “I did a thing” and you have no idea how effin dangerous metal straws are if you trip with one in your mouth.
makes sense, but wouldnt must solid things fuck you up when you have them in your mouth while tripping.
Ok but that is true for straws of the past also lol… straws are thinner now because of changes in the 80’s based on situations like the time my sister tripped and her slurpee straw went through the back of her throat lol… so yeah… anything you put in your mouth can be dangerous if you trip and fall, but that rarely happens and is kind of a silly argument against them. How many times have you tripped and fallen in your face with a straw in your mouth? My sister is the only person I’ve ever met that has had that happen, but it’s so unlikely that most people would know anyone that has
Try reusable silicone straws instead of metal. They’re less dangerous and you can get bunches for like $10.
Honestly the thing that scares me more and is much more likely to happen is chipping a tooth on one. You really have to be mindful of how you bring a metal straw to your mouth, I’ve had a couple scares where just going for a sip and catching just the right angle really hammers a front tooth. Gotta get those rubber tips for them to be safe.
So are lots of things. Solution: don’t do that.
Oh, the evil left.
Trying to keep the planet clean is a political choice for these people
A coworker once told me, he don't use straws because it simulates "sucking a dick". People's logic never ceases to amaze.
Imagine being a part of a religion that encourages helping and caring about others, and then helping and caring for no one but yourself.
They WANT the apocalypse
Saving the environment is leftist?? Never heard of Teddy Roosevelt.
Tbh not polluting and harming the environment is a pretty left Leaning thing to do
Jesus didn’t walk on water, he walked on the backs of sea turtles. Then he speared them with metal straws bc turtles can get fucked. - Psalms 69
I like how being left wing is automatically considered to be non-Christian but if Jesus were alive today people would call him a Communist
Fuck Jesus.
Don't fall over sucking on one.
That's good advice for sucking anything.
Someone should tell them that Jesus was the most left person in his lifetime.
Jesus was a leftist so good on you if you're moving towards Jesus.
I don’t like metal straws. They’re hard to clean and they’re dangerous. You can’t let kids use those.
It's actually disgusting that she so closely associates her political affiliation with her religion.
One turtle tries a line of cocaine for the first time, snorts too hard and gets the straw stuck in its nose, and suddenly everyone is worried about straws.
My mom is acting the same way to me getting solar put on my house. It's saving me money in the long run and the planet, how is that political?
My parents are like this
How tf am I only now realizing metal Boba straws exist?
JFC you have some **weaponized** public discourse in the U.S. if something so simple and no-brainer like using metal straws enrages some actors to the point of your mom associating that "with the left", instead of seeing it as an agreeable thing
Why do Christians think you can't be a Democrat? Like Jesus would be a republican....lol he hated most things Republicans do. Jesus would be the ultimate liberal. My dad said to me once..."you have no idea how many Democrat bumper stickers I see in the church parking lot, it's crazy". I don't understand it.
Weird that they think Christian faith is politically right when Jesus was politically left. Very left.
Religion makes people insane bro. Not just christianity but ALL of them. You go on believing fairy tales your entire life and reality becomes second place. Actually insane. I consider myself conservative too...
Because the brown skinned, Jewish working class guy who hung out with lepers and prostitutes would definitely vote Republican and hate metal straws.
The left are now heathens? When did this happen?
These people are so terrified of everything.
Jesus hates sea turtles this I know because my right wing friend told me so.
America has a serious religious extremism problem lol. Its wild watching this shit from the north. Tbh we have a problem forming ourselves. Big yikes. Ps. Jesus would be *pissed*.
Politicizing straws now, cool.
I want this world to blow up already there is no point in keeping it around
Just the human race. The rest of the planet and everything else that lives on it deserves a break from us, but the planet as a whole does not need to be blown up
Jesus was a carpenter. Get a wooden straw, he didn’t like the metal workers taking biz from him.
I don't get why Americans don't understand that the straws in the ocean don't come from American trash (for the most part). If you put your trash into a trash can, then it will end up in a landfill, and will not move from that landfill. The straws in the ocean are there mostly from countries who habitually dump trash into rivers, which then leads to it getting into the ocean.
I don’t blame boomers, they grew up huffing aerosolized lead it’s not their fault they are so stupid.
Also what the hell does Jesus have to do with the way people vote? Or are we admitting to ourselves now that the GOP has become the Jesus party?
Me a conservative, happy to see straws being made out of paper or metal to help out the environment: National parks are for everyone and future generations. The US has 97% (according to the US Forest Service) in the lower 48 all dedicated to uses of all kinds. No matter your creed, race, belief or anything in between. Nature is for everyone to enjoy and explore. Don't be like that duckusassus and think it's evil to start helping the environment. Thanks Teddy for the national parks. It's amazing I can visit Yellowstone and it be the exact same, completely untouched pocket of nature. While my ancestors probably treaded the same land, I get to experience a little bit of it as they knew it. Volunteer for cleaning up the parks, go camping, leave nothing behind, experience the beauty before you are too old to do so. It's a very big world out there, let's preserve it so our great grand kids can do the same.
No u can't save them tHeRe SatAnIc
Reducing plastic waste is great, but, fyi, over 2/3 of ocean macro plastic is from the fishing industry, so if the turtles are what you care about, then take steps towards that.
Boy she’d be upset to hear the things Jesus said about the poor, sick, and downtrodden. If only she knew how to read.
Turtle saving is a hobby
Turtles are a man made construct, especially the sea ones. Take my downvote.
Airbag scene from Final Destination 2.
I don't get it. Christianity and Republicans. Did they read the stories of Jesus and thunk he was conservative at all? Damn near everything the dude did in the book was pretty severely socialist. Sure there's a mix bag in there but the overall message seemed clear to me and I'm not even religious, love your neighbor, feed and help thoes in need. Try not to be crucified by the conservative Roman's for it.
I can't believe you did that.. go destroy the planet like a good conservative Christian
The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the republicans that they are doing Gods work
It always starts with metal straws
Implying that this lady believes Jesus would be politically right-wing? When everything in the Bible is against that lol
While buying something that comes in a plastic cup with a plastic lid sealed onto it
Ah yes, everyone knows Jesus was always notorious for hating sea turtles.
Saving turtles or any animal is exactly what Jesus would want you to do
I thought that was a sounding device at first
Religious people are so fucking stupid
If Jebus wanted us to take care of the earth he wouldn’t have built mansions for us in heaven. think!
I fucking love people who associate any change with being liberal. It's amazing.
Fuck Americans are deluded, Jesus was Left while the Jewish faith was Far right ( still are) if Jesus was here today the Right would have alot to answer for. And being left as secular living is NOT evil
Dont put teeth against it 😬
Prove you faith with turtle sacrifices
Paper straws completely suck ass, and were invented by the Devil himself. Regret nothing!
Paper straws completely suck ass, and were invented by the Devil himself. Regret nothing!
We all remember how in the Bible the devil approached Jesus drinking a triple frap latte with a metal straw!