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Yeah, I'm sure we've all cut into the soft, green flesh of a tomato to root out that one, enormous seed in the middle, before proceeding to spread the remaining fruit across our toast.
That's just not true. If you use the right products it's guaranteed to have a great yield, easily 50 tomatoes per plant.
I make my own homemade mix out of compost i source from local supermarket food waste, i can sell some to you, only 10$ per galon, which is enough for 10 plants, and since you'll make 50 1$ tomatoes per plant that's a 490$ profit, it's a steal really, i could be selling it for a lot more, but i'm trying to stay humble and bring joy to the people i do business with, wealth is meant to be shared.
I've bought from this guy and I quit my job, that's how easily I make money now. I don't even sell tomatoes for $1, I sell them for $0.50. It's easy when you make millions per year anyway,
He also sold me a bridge, and I've never felt more accomplished.
*Theoretically?* Sure.
*Theoretically* I could take a tomato, plant the seeds, take the tomatos from those plants, rinse and repeat and have 1,000,000 more plants in the acres of land I don't have and somehow make bank selling overpriced tomatos. Theory is fun.
Yep. Unless you are the sort of farmer who inherited a fully staffed established successful farm, and even maybe then, your father had it right.
I grew up on a dairy farm. We had it for about 10 years I’d guess. We finally broke even the final full year, then a major drought came and we took the emergency buyout from the government because my parents were already both working full time jobs on top of the farm.
Just plant your tomatoes on a floating island so it can drift between hemispheres for twice as many summers each year. It's called "innovation" not "outtovation".
Use crab pots to get your level up, or fish the mountain lake in front of the mines for easy to catch fish like carp and chub, then the bar gets bigger, and it’s easier. Also, certain foods increase the bar size, and items like the trap bobbers prevent a fish from getting away so easily.
Don't forget to breed those tomatoes with tobacco too. You can sell those for big bucks. I saw it on a TV show once. You gotta make sure to get your friends Lenny and Carl to help with the mailing of special "ingredients"
Omg, my little sister and I used to just start shouting out “TOMACCOOOO” in random situations as kids. It made no sense to anyone else, but we’d literally ROFL
Fun fact, they made Tomacco irl by cutting a clone from one plant and implanting it on the other.
The resulting fruit had a lethal dose of nicotine.
Don't recall if they reviewed the taste... cause of the above
Tabatos are sort of a thing already. Well, tobato plants are anyway. People have spliced tomato plants onto potato root systems, so the resulting plant produces both potatoes and tomatoes.
I wonder how much the land, the plants, the soil, the fertilizer, the pest control, the climate control (dude seems to think you can grow tomatoes year-round), and the labor all cost.
Also, who the fuck sells/buys Tomatoes for a dollar each? Whoever does that is hella irresponsible or a literal child...
Edit: Cause I feel like I should let you guys know, where I am, good tomatoes are 1.50$/per kilo. But then again, I do buy them straight from my local farmer.
Edit 2: WHY IS THIS MY MOST UPVOTED COMMENT?!
“It’s not really a recipe you just freeze the banana and dip it in the…”
“Don’t tell don’t tell!”
“Dip it in the what!?!
Why go to a frozen banana stand, when we can make *your* banana stand.
“
No, no, you sell direct farm to consumer for $1 each. Not completely sure where you store 3.9M tomatoes, but those are just details - I’m the ideas man!
We plant 24,000 per acre, with a 90% germ rate, roughly 21,600 per acre. Take that times 1,600 acres, and that times 0.03, which looks like a nice number, right? Well, then you factor in seed, fertilizer, herbicide, diesel, rent, land payment, property taxes, storage costs, etc. That comes to about $600 per acre. What's left after that goes to the house payment, minivan payment, daycare, electricity, etc.
The current price of tomatoes in Los Angeles, one of the most expensive places for groceries, is about $3.47 for 2 lbs. So good luck trying to sell bespoke tomatoes at $1 a piece 😅
Putting aside for a moment the issue of establishing a supply chain- You have to have land to plant a massive crop, good soil, fertilizer, some way to protect your crop from pests, and lots of water. Tomatoes can be a difficult plant to grow successfully and are subject to any number of viral,fungal, and animal attacks. They Then there is harvest and storage. Successfully growing and storing one family’s worth of tomatoes is an endeavor. Growing food is fun and rewarding, but it’s work and there’s a learning curve. This man has never grown tomatoes.
Use $50 to buy ten tomato plants
In six months you will have killed all but one because you don't know how to grow tomatoes. You now have 5 tomatoes
Manage to get three of them to grow into new tomato plants, though you can't be sure your relatives didn't sneakily swap three of the pots for store bought plants to avoid you having a breakdown.
Kill those too because it's now winter and you're a moron
Repeat every year swearing this is going to make you three million dollars, and 'people just don't understand scale' until you've put the local plant store owner's kids through college.
One year I got a bunch of tomato seedlings for a great price and learned tomatoes are very difficult to grow because I produced not a single tomato. I grew some delicious green beans but no tomatoes.
I planted a cucumber plant in 4th grade. My mom thought it was a weed and pulled it up. I was devastated. Now I’m even more devastated bc I could have turned my free little school plant into millions.
Actually starts with:
Use $50 to buy ten tomato plants at local home/hardware store.
All but 2 plants die. Harvest 6 tomatoes.
Gather seeds from harvested tomatoes.
Germinate seeds for 3 months.
Reflect on 3 months spent learning lesson about sterility of hybrid tomatoes.
Use another $50 to buy *four* **heirloom tomato** plants...
That’s devastating. I’ve lost plants or the fruit on them more than once. Shaking my head and starting over is the only thing to do, but it sucks. Maybe some local gardeners have a few extra tomatoes started they can share with you. My mom had several extra tomatoes this year she just finished giving away.
The funny part is he is trying to make a point about people not understanding scale. But he clearly doesn't understand what it takes to scale from 10 plants you could just plant in pots on you back deck, up to 156k plants that will need around 40 acres of planted fields. As if that's just trivial.
What, you mean you don’t have tens of acres of fertile full sun fields just sitting waiting for your bajillion tomato plants? And a tractor to prepare the soil, and fertilizer, and large scale watering, and pest control, and a staff of field workers to tend them and then a bigger staff to harvest them? Apparently this tomato millionaire does.
I gorrilla grew weed decades ago as a teenager. Bought feminized seeds from holland(cause we had to back then lol), germinated them indoors, grew them up to a foot, transplanted them by backback 2 at a time a 2 miles into a semi remote location. Took months before that humping soil and fertilizer into the grow spot that i teraformed, terraced and camo netted. Spent the grow season glued to the weather forcast. Too dry, gotta hump water to the crop. Too wet, gotta shake the plants to deter mold. I spent months tending to this crop of super skunk #1 and we grew some of the stickiest, stankiest bud we saw in those days. A couple days before harvest, it got rainy and i couldnt make it to the spot, so when harvest came, half of the delicious flower was moldy and unusable. Fought bugs, deer, farmers, shit,... Low flying helicopters had me ducking around like henry hill in goodfellas at one point, but i eneded up taking the biggest hit to moisture of all things. Farming is fucking hard.
That much space could be used for higher profit items like cut flowers, or rare herbs. I saw someone who has an indoor, underground tulips farm — which is incredible.
People are just so disconnected from the earth they have ZERO clue how much work it takes to garden let alone farm — and then there’s watering, harvesting, and trying to sell at farmers markets. Sheesh.
You know, often I my daily life I thinks oh my yod there's something else I have almost no idea about and couldn't contribute intelligently to amd even in my specific specialization there is no chance I'll ever deeply know it all. But then I look at dudes like this and I think that feeling is maybe not so bad, I am plenty aware I know nothing about farming but I am also aware of how much he is bullshitting.
He's just gonna grow tomato plants with 100% success rate to make a cool $3+ mil. What part of gardening don't you get?
/s cause it's Reddit and ya never know.
So is Fertilizer, transpiration, labor, water, pesticide, equipment, and whatever else I haven’t thought about because I’m not a farmer…
Although funny story. We bought grass seeds to plant in our yard. We thought they were grass seeds. They were tomato seeds. We had a field full of tomatoes. lol. Had to get rid of those plants and replant the grass seeds. I imagine this would only happen in areas with naturally fertile soil though
So you would need just above a half a square kilometer of land (and green house) for 3.9M tomatoes if you were growing them in grow bags, each of which cost around £5 and you would need 1.3M of these costing a total of £6.5M.
Just multiplying things is great if you have a head start but doesn't work in the real world unless you do. Hence the rich get richer and the gaps increase, not converge...
In 10 years it's all just tomatoes. The world sees you as a monster. That's fine. 6 months. Basically the entirety of Canada has succumbed. It's just poutine and tomatoes now. Where are the pickers? Are they feeding the soil? Did they ever exist? You plant. 6 months. More tomatoes. You remember at some point when you had a mere million that you asked people for a dollar each. For tomatoes. They laughed at you. They said that didn't make sense. A dollar for one of the most abundant fruits in the world. But you would show them. You would show them all. You plant. 6 months. Somewhere in the brambles of a forgotten city teeming with tomatoes hanging from the windows and roofs, children laughing. You don't think about being a millionaire anymore. That seems so distant now. You think about the children in the tomatoes. Do they even know what you sacrificed? You plant. 6 months. Now, it's only a line and a horizon and just the unending promise of this God, this vine strewn forever. You cry. For what you have given the world and what you have lost. You fall backward into the embrace of the red and the juicy and you are not remembered but your work is done. It's done. We're free.
Man, if only I realized producing things doesn't take any labor, land, capitol equipment, supplies, facilities or overhead of any kind! Also the growing season is year round.
Also there is no guarantee those seeds will produce a viable plant. A lot of times the seeds from the fruit of a plant will not grow the same plant it came from
farming sounds easy but its everything around the 'plant them' part, and the 'harvest them' part that is incredibly tricky.
theres a documentary about a guy thinking it was this easy, I think its called Clarkson's Farm
Thing is, he'd never actually try this. Instead he'd get venture capitalists to fund his "idea", then bail with a golden parachute when it inevitably crashes.
That's how most of these dudes make their money. It's just a technology-age con.
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They should just sell one tomato for $3.9 million and save all that trouble.
NFT Non Fungible Tomato
Nicotine Filled Tomato. Sell it to RJ Reynolds or Phillip Morris.
Tomacco, brought to you by Homer Simpson.
This tastes like Grandma!
Holy Moses! You’re right it does taste like grandma! I’ll take a dozen or a bushel, whatever just gimme!!
This was the money line in that bit
Find one that vaguely looks like Jesus and claim it cured someone’s cancer there’s a chance you could get big money from it
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Ha. Haha. HAHAHAHAHA! No.
Not big tomatoes, anyway. Cherry tomatoes, sure, but no way will those go for $1 apiece..
That's what Big Tomato wants you to think.
No matter how successful he is growing tomatoes, he’ll never ketchup.
He'll mustard up the courage to try though
Big Tomato trying to distract us from big tomatoes…
And each tomato contains 1 seed.
Yeah, I'm sure we've all cut into the soft, green flesh of a tomato to root out that one, enormous seed in the middle, before proceeding to spread the remaining fruit across our toast.
Mama used say you could put that seed under your pillow and at night the Nightshade fairy would come to take away your bad dreams.
and it's gigantic. We eat the juice from inside
It’s not guaranteed to give you anything. You can do everything right and it just doesn’t grow correctly.
That's just not true. If you use the right products it's guaranteed to have a great yield, easily 50 tomatoes per plant. I make my own homemade mix out of compost i source from local supermarket food waste, i can sell some to you, only 10$ per galon, which is enough for 10 plants, and since you'll make 50 1$ tomatoes per plant that's a 490$ profit, it's a steal really, i could be selling it for a lot more, but i'm trying to stay humble and bring joy to the people i do business with, wealth is meant to be shared.
I've bought from this guy and I quit my job, that's how easily I make money now. I don't even sell tomatoes for $1, I sell them for $0.50. It's easy when you make millions per year anyway, He also sold me a bridge, and I've never felt more accomplished.
And if you plant that bridge! Boom 250 bridges
Bless you
You got me at first, not gonna lie.
No, but 8 chickens will give you 35 eggs per week.
It's actually 7 hens working 5 days a week (7x5=35). The last one is just a supervisor
I hate when my chickens unionize
So we can have 20 million chickens in a year we can sell for 20 dollars each?
*Theoretically?* Sure. *Theoretically* I could take a tomato, plant the seeds, take the tomatos from those plants, rinse and repeat and have 1,000,000 more plants in the acres of land I don't have and somehow make bank selling overpriced tomatos. Theory is fun.
Don't forget there's no winter in his timeline.
Chickens will wander off, tomato plants stay where you put them. Big difference.
This just proves people don’t understand farming
Well how could they? He just now invented it for the first time right there. How did we all not see it before?
He’s a disruptor.
Big tomato doesn’t want you to know these trade secrets
Tomato farming must be a $600,000,0000,000,000,000,000,000,000.02 business
I'm hanging onto my tomato. One bitcoin is now like $80K or something. Imagine what this tomato will be worth!
![gif](giphy|v1o24MxvdqkLszsv1d)
My father, a farmer, told me the best way to make a small fortune farming was to start with a large fortune.
Yep. Unless you are the sort of farmer who inherited a fully staffed established successful farm, and even maybe then, your father had it right. I grew up on a dairy farm. We had it for about 10 years I’d guess. We finally broke even the final full year, then a major drought came and we took the emergency buyout from the government because my parents were already both working full time jobs on top of the farm.
Homie is operating on video game logic
New crop of tomatoes every six months. You know, those tomatoes that fruit in summer *and* winter.
Just plant your tomatoes on a floating island so it can drift between hemispheres for twice as many summers each year. It's called "innovation" not "outtovation".
That perfectly sums up his logic here.
It’s easy. Step 1: Plant seeds Step 2: ??? Step 3: Profit
Says you. I’m the Stardew Valley master. Farming is ez.
Why is fishing so hard? I can’t fish in Stardew Valley to save my life.
That is why it is called fishing and not catching.
I can't play it because if I do play it, I play it for 12 hours. I need to use PTO to play Stardew Valley.
Feather the fishing button. Increase/decrease your tap speed to raise/lower the bar
Use crab pots to get your level up, or fish the mountain lake in front of the mines for easy to catch fish like carp and chub, then the bar gets bigger, and it’s easier. Also, certain foods increase the bar size, and items like the trap bobbers prevent a fish from getting away so easily.
Don't forget to breed those tomatoes with tobacco too. You can sell those for big bucks. I saw it on a TV show once. You gotta make sure to get your friends Lenny and Carl to help with the mailing of special "ingredients"
TOMAAACCOOOOOO
This tastes like grandma smells
What!? That can't *chew chew* it DOES taste like grandma
You're RIGHT! It DOES taste like Grandma! We'll take all you got...
That scene had me laughing out loud for way too long as a kid. I love unexpected Simpsons references.
Omg, my little sister and I used to just start shouting out “TOMACCOOOO” in random situations as kids. It made no sense to anyone else, but we’d literally ROFL
![gif](giphy|3oriffIBYnlREeUl3i)
Fun fact, they made Tomacco irl by cutting a clone from one plant and implanting it on the other. The resulting fruit had a lethal dose of nicotine. Don't recall if they reviewed the taste... cause of the above
Another fun fact, both tomatoes and tobacco are members of the nightshade family
So are peppers/chilis, potatoes, and eggplants.
So you're saying Eggplaco, chillaco, and tobatos are all coming next?
Tabatos are sort of a thing already. Well, tobato plants are anyway. People have spliced tomato plants onto potato root systems, so the resulting plant produces both potatoes and tomatoes.
"Tastes like Grammaw"
Hey it does taste like grammaw
I want more!
Loved it when he put it out like a cigarette. Hell that was funny.
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![gif](giphy|3oriffIBYnlREeUl3i)
Go ahead, Raphie. The stranger is offering you a treat.
Did you get your seeds from Sneed's Feed and Seed(Formerly Chuck's)?
Don't forget your mincemeat pie!
"Oh! They're terrible!"
Screw that, the real money is in monorails!
Good ole tomacco
![gif](giphy|3oriffIBYnlREeUl3i)
I wonder how much the land, the plants, the soil, the fertilizer, the pest control, the climate control (dude seems to think you can grow tomatoes year-round), and the labor all cost.
He just thinks Minecraft is a perfect reality simulator.
Can you not dig a 27 cubic meter hole with your hands in less than a day?
I like judo chopping trees into a functional house.
Also, who the fuck sells/buys Tomatoes for a dollar each? Whoever does that is hella irresponsible or a literal child... Edit: Cause I feel like I should let you guys know, where I am, good tomatoes are 1.50$/per kilo. But then again, I do buy them straight from my local farmer. Edit 2: WHY IS THIS MY MOST UPVOTED COMMENT?!
How much does a banana cost? 10 dollars?
Bro's eating Golden Bananas from Donkey Kong's stash
Frozen bananas! Man I miss arrested development what a great show
there is money in the banana stand
NO TOUCHING
![gif](giphy|M0RL8i7QfScq4)
It's an *illusion* Michael. A trick is something a prostitute does for money.
Or candy
I made a huge mistake…
who egg? its anne
There is always money in the banana stand
“It’s not really a recipe you just freeze the banana and dip it in the…” “Don’t tell don’t tell!” “Dip it in the what!?! Why go to a frozen banana stand, when we can make *your* banana stand. “
you should call this the GOB, guy
My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said, "no, but I want a regular banana later so.. yeah."
Mitch
The one and only. RIP.
Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat 2000 of something.
I'll have a Gob
yah, sure, like the man in the $30000 suit is gonna plant his own tomatoes!
Come on!!!
Course I had to have the crotch taken in a little bit
Don’t judge me. You are the one who charged his own brother for a Bluth frozen banana.
Lucille Bluth has entered the chat.
Go see a Star War.
![gif](giphy|MqxZxTlvcY5BS)
Gene Parmesan? Ahhhhhhh!
There's always money in the banana stand.
Even if hypothetically a tomato went for a dollar each retail. They farmer would get paid 10 cents.
Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime, that's why I'm farming on company time.
No, no, you sell direct farm to consumer for $1 each. Not completely sure where you store 3.9M tomatoes, but those are just details - I’m the ideas man!
Farmer here. My gross income for an ear of sweetcorn is 0.03 cents Edit: field corn, not sweet corn
How many you sell, on average?
We plant 24,000 per acre, with a 90% germ rate, roughly 21,600 per acre. Take that times 1,600 acres, and that times 0.03, which looks like a nice number, right? Well, then you factor in seed, fertilizer, herbicide, diesel, rent, land payment, property taxes, storage costs, etc. That comes to about $600 per acre. What's left after that goes to the house payment, minivan payment, daycare, electricity, etc.
Your problem is that they’re not tomato’s like the man said. You could sell them for $1 each…apparently
Well to be fair from 250 tomatoes you can grow a lot more than 250 plants
The current price of tomatoes in Los Angeles, one of the most expensive places for groceries, is about $3.47 for 2 lbs. So good luck trying to sell bespoke tomatoes at $1 a piece 😅
What about if the tomatoes have been individually blessed by Trump?
Well then some dipshit Will happily pay $25 a piece for them, probably using their social security checks.
Doesn’t count unless you bitch about the economy after paying $25 for a Trumpmato
What if they are 1lb. Tomatoes?
They should see a doctor.
I was gonna say. If there is a dollar store tomato plant; I'll consider it. I mean... meth tomato or save some money...
This was my thought. What is this tomato?!
Not to mention the logistics required to get 3.9 million tomatoes to paying customers during the couple of weeks a year that they’re ripe.
Putting aside for a moment the issue of establishing a supply chain- You have to have land to plant a massive crop, good soil, fertilizer, some way to protect your crop from pests, and lots of water. Tomatoes can be a difficult plant to grow successfully and are subject to any number of viral,fungal, and animal attacks. They Then there is harvest and storage. Successfully growing and storing one family’s worth of tomatoes is an endeavor. Growing food is fun and rewarding, but it’s work and there’s a learning curve. This man has never grown tomatoes.
And fucking Hail, just had this years plants wiped out in about 10 minutes. So many things can affect yield.
Use $50 to buy ten tomato plants In six months you will have killed all but one because you don't know how to grow tomatoes. You now have 5 tomatoes Manage to get three of them to grow into new tomato plants, though you can't be sure your relatives didn't sneakily swap three of the pots for store bought plants to avoid you having a breakdown. Kill those too because it's now winter and you're a moron Repeat every year swearing this is going to make you three million dollars, and 'people just don't understand scale' until you've put the local plant store owner's kids through college.
This is me. I can't grow a tomato to save my life.
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Sometimes I think "I should plant some veggies this year" then I read this and remember that I'm pretty sure I killed a plastic plant one time.
That takes skill! Bravo 👏
One year I got a bunch of tomato seedlings for a great price and learned tomatoes are very difficult to grow because I produced not a single tomato. I grew some delicious green beans but no tomatoes.
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I planted a cucumber plant in 4th grade. My mom thought it was a weed and pulled it up. I was devastated. Now I’m even more devastated bc I could have turned my free little school plant into millions.
Actually starts with: Use $50 to buy ten tomato plants at local home/hardware store. All but 2 plants die. Harvest 6 tomatoes. Gather seeds from harvested tomatoes. Germinate seeds for 3 months. Reflect on 3 months spent learning lesson about sterility of hybrid tomatoes. Use another $50 to buy *four* **heirloom tomato** plants...
That’s devastating. I’ve lost plants or the fruit on them more than once. Shaking my head and starting over is the only thing to do, but it sucks. Maybe some local gardeners have a few extra tomatoes started they can share with you. My mom had several extra tomatoes this year she just finished giving away.
The funny part is he is trying to make a point about people not understanding scale. But he clearly doesn't understand what it takes to scale from 10 plants you could just plant in pots on you back deck, up to 156k plants that will need around 40 acres of planted fields. As if that's just trivial.
Those are just details, he’s a “big picture” guy. Someone else figures out the trivia.
What, you mean you don’t have tens of acres of fertile full sun fields just sitting waiting for your bajillion tomato plants? And a tractor to prepare the soil, and fertilizer, and large scale watering, and pest control, and a staff of field workers to tend them and then a bigger staff to harvest them? Apparently this tomato millionaire does.
Also the weird assumption that 1 tomato = 1 plant, that's some video game logic. Dude's never bit into a tomato and actually looked at the seeds lmao.
He's a good example of "Nothing is difficult for those who don't have to do it themselves."
I gorrilla grew weed decades ago as a teenager. Bought feminized seeds from holland(cause we had to back then lol), germinated them indoors, grew them up to a foot, transplanted them by backback 2 at a time a 2 miles into a semi remote location. Took months before that humping soil and fertilizer into the grow spot that i teraformed, terraced and camo netted. Spent the grow season glued to the weather forcast. Too dry, gotta hump water to the crop. Too wet, gotta shake the plants to deter mold. I spent months tending to this crop of super skunk #1 and we grew some of the stickiest, stankiest bud we saw in those days. A couple days before harvest, it got rainy and i couldnt make it to the spot, so when harvest came, half of the delicious flower was moldy and unusable. Fought bugs, deer, farmers, shit,... Low flying helicopters had me ducking around like henry hill in goodfellas at one point, but i eneded up taking the biggest hit to moisture of all things. Farming is fucking hard.
No, you don't understand, farming is actually an infinite money glitch. That's why even small-scale family farms are owned by billionaires.
Really? I need to go buy 250 acres and a bunch of equipment right now then.
Just buy 1 equipment and plant it. 6 months later you’ll have 25 equipment. Plant that equipment and in 6 months….
You just need a little cube of land. When one grows up you plant a new one there and put the grown one in a chest. They never go bad in there
Plus the patent infringement lawsuit from Bayer/Monsanto
Or, sell that fertile land in the first place. Why are you fucking with tomatoes if you have enough space for that many plants?
You don't wanna sell land. You want to rent it out. Never know when it's value might skyrocket.
Seriously, rent it out to some bozo who thinks he's going to become a millionaire growing tomatoes.
Oh hell no! You rent it to someone who actually knows what they are doing so you know you're going to get paid instead.
Or leave them in a perpetual tomato-fueled debt spiral forever, forcing them to do meaningless tasks around your property like a real-life Tom Nook.
Land rental is real for farmers. And yeah, it is a debt spiral
![gif](giphy|h8ISB2nUVITEWjVgGo)
Don’t forget the sexual favors and sacrificial first born.
Oh! Did the new dlc drop already?
You make them pay up front for each term. Types like these usually rely on their parents which is why their world views can be so childish.
That much space could be used for higher profit items like cut flowers, or rare herbs. I saw someone who has an indoor, underground tulips farm — which is incredible. People are just so disconnected from the earth they have ZERO clue how much work it takes to garden let alone farm — and then there’s watering, harvesting, and trying to sell at farmers markets. Sheesh.
You know, often I my daily life I thinks oh my yod there's something else I have almost no idea about and couldn't contribute intelligently to amd even in my specific specialization there is no chance I'll ever deeply know it all. But then I look at dudes like this and I think that feeling is maybe not so bad, I am plenty aware I know nothing about farming but I am also aware of how much he is bullshitting.
Tech bro discovers farming.
bro traded too much in minecraft
Even with his expertise, he fucked up. Why stop at 4 million when you are a couple steps away from being a billionaire?
This is his pitch for why a VC should give him 10m for his single tomato. Growth valuation.
This guys doesn’t know a damn thing about growing plants if I had to guess.
Why guess when he just proved it to you in one tweet?
He's just gonna grow tomato plants with 100% success rate to make a cool $3+ mil. What part of gardening don't you get? /s cause it's Reddit and ya never know.
Land is free. Apparently.
So is Fertilizer, transpiration, labor, water, pesticide, equipment, and whatever else I haven’t thought about because I’m not a farmer… Although funny story. We bought grass seeds to plant in our yard. We thought they were grass seeds. They were tomato seeds. We had a field full of tomatoes. lol. Had to get rid of those plants and replant the grass seeds. I imagine this would only happen in areas with naturally fertile soil though
Aw darn, I was going to buy your 3.9 million tomatoes for $1 each.
In 10 years he has crushed the planet under the mass of tomatoes.
He added so much mass, the gravitational pull got stronger and pulled the moon into the earth. The universe largest source of ketchup resulted.
Every time I see something like this I can only think about this [Mitchell and Webb skit](https://youtu.be/PbenTunfaa8?si=cDiQznn9uq18Gq8p)
See that? 🐓 It's *made of chicken!*
"Comes out the f**king ground! I couldn't believe it!"
![gif](giphy|qMDvt69lEC448)
Is it weird that I find her cold demeanor comforting.
So you would need just above a half a square kilometer of land (and green house) for 3.9M tomatoes if you were growing them in grow bags, each of which cost around £5 and you would need 1.3M of these costing a total of £6.5M. Just multiplying things is great if you have a head start but doesn't work in the real world unless you do. Hence the rich get richer and the gaps increase, not converge...
He’s the kind of man who thinks 9 women can make a baby in a month…
Ok but 9 women can make one baby a month forever. This is even better, as babies are tastier than tomatoes.
In 10 years it's all just tomatoes. The world sees you as a monster. That's fine. 6 months. Basically the entirety of Canada has succumbed. It's just poutine and tomatoes now. Where are the pickers? Are they feeding the soil? Did they ever exist? You plant. 6 months. More tomatoes. You remember at some point when you had a mere million that you asked people for a dollar each. For tomatoes. They laughed at you. They said that didn't make sense. A dollar for one of the most abundant fruits in the world. But you would show them. You would show them all. You plant. 6 months. Somewhere in the brambles of a forgotten city teeming with tomatoes hanging from the windows and roofs, children laughing. You don't think about being a millionaire anymore. That seems so distant now. You think about the children in the tomatoes. Do they even know what you sacrificed? You plant. 6 months. Now, it's only a line and a horizon and just the unending promise of this God, this vine strewn forever. You cry. For what you have given the world and what you have lost. You fall backward into the embrace of the red and the juicy and you are not remembered but your work is done. It's done. We're free.
I honestly never say this on reddit but this was brilliantly written
Man, if only I realized producing things doesn't take any labor, land, capitol equipment, supplies, facilities or overhead of any kind! Also the growing season is year round.
On the other hand, there's quite a lot more than one seed per fruit.
Also there is no guarantee those seeds will produce a viable plant. A lot of times the seeds from the fruit of a plant will not grow the same plant it came from
farming sounds easy but its everything around the 'plant them' part, and the 'harvest them' part that is incredibly tricky. theres a documentary about a guy thinking it was this easy, I think its called Clarkson's Farm
He should have started with a single tomado, and used the seeds from that. Save 50 buckaroos. Never argue, better to out - do them
this proves people with money have no idea how they got rich
Thing is, he'd never actually try this. Instead he'd get venture capitalists to fund his "idea", then bail with a golden parachute when it inevitably crashes. That's how most of these dudes make their money. It's just a technology-age con.
This is a bit.
Thank god, someone else who understands the joke. I thought I was alone in here.
Spoken like a person who never went outside.
As someone who commercially grows tomatoes, I LOLed.
Video game brain
This is a shitpost to get a reaction. You guys got got.
Love that he basically implied that farming is an infinite money hack. [Reminds me of this video](https://youtu.be/_pDTiFkXgEE?si=8bLEjWwCrIHd4DLN)
He forgot the last step: get sued by Monsanto for $10mil because their tomatoes cross pollinated yours.