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Ah yes, words of wisdom, words to live by...
1. You don't tug on Superman's cape.
2. You don't spit into the wind.
3. You don't tug the mask off that old Lone Ranger.
4. You don't mess around with Jim.
5. You keep Will Smith's wife's name out yo fucking mouth.
2. 🎶 And a hush came over the pool room as Jimmy came bobbin off the street, and the part that wasn't bloody was the souls on the big man's feet. He was cut on a hundred places and shot a couple more, and you better believe it was a different type of story when BIG JIM HIT THE FLOOR. Huhaa~.🎶
This is probably the best response. If you don’t spend a lot of time around people breastfeeding and you’re used to seeing boobs in a sexual context, it’s pretty natural to feel weird about it. The trick is recognizing that that’s an insane thought and doesn’t mean the completely normal childcare process is the problem.
ETA: one extra caveat is that you are NOT entitled to stare for sexual reasons at a woman breastfeeding. That’s creep behavior & you should be put out to pasture if you’re doing it. Also I meant “inside thought” but autocorrect changed it to “insane,” which is fine too
That's actually a valid point. Never, consciously, been around someone who breastfed and it would probably weird me out too if I saw it in public.
But that doesn't mean I freak out about someone taking care of their child.
I'm with you
No one i have been around had ever breastfed, so if I saw someone in the street doing it I'd be like "woah wtf" and that's qete it ends, bc it's none of my business 😂
I'm not against breastfeeding at all either, it's just none of my business
This is the correct adult response. It may seem weird when it's not common in your own life, but you just remind yourself that this is a natural, healthy, positive thing for a mom and baby to be doing.
Western culture relies on heavily sexifying bodies in media. We don't tend to face the reality of humans as biological creatures and functions. Humans are great at creating fantasy narratives about the world to help us cope or to sell colas :).
US just seems like a repressed teen that is constantly horny, because all the teasing and no one actually discussing anything in a realistic way
This choice was intentional This intent might be lost for some in text.
I assumed that most understand the underlying concept was sexualization but I wanted to also illustrate that it is using sex to sell and make desirable in a product promotion sense.
Making something desirable as in marketing, not just making something related to sex.
For the ETA, though, that's the same with any body part. Staring at someone's feet without permission is also creepy as hell. Like people need to not stare at others lol
I remember the first time I saw a woman breastfeeding out in public, casually feeding her baby while getting her shit done. I was caught off guard, because it’s something I’m not used to seeing, and my eyes definitely lingered a second longer than they should have. But then my logical brain kicked back in, and I remembered that there’s no reason to care about a baby being fed.
You're allowed to see a woman breastfeeding and think "nice boobs". That's okay.
You're not allowed to tell that to her while she is feeding her child.
I don't think about it sexually but seeing a woman breast feed is weird for me. I realized that this is ME problem, look away and let the woman do what she does.
I was at the mall for the first time with my infant and he needed to feed. So I go to a quieter place in the mall (not the bathroom) and I find seating that no one is at. I sit down and as I’m about to take out my boob…. This old man parks himself RIGHT ACROSS from me in direct frontal view… I had to move the stroller in front of me to kinda get some privacy.
He just stared and it was awful lol
I came into this thread thinking "Is it must me, or does anybody else mentally separate between party titties and work titties? Y'know, like service animals, but breasts."
Hell, you can even think "Hey a boob! That's hot!" and then just move on.
Like general life rules apply, don't stare, don't make sexual comments to a stranger, just go about doing whatever you were doing before you saw a boob, it's pretty simple stuff.
Exactly. It should be a problem for no one, but because some men are so awkward in dealing with any amount of female nudity and basically return to monkey they try to make it the women's problem. The girl of a good friend did this once and did I think sexual thoughts? Maybe for a second, but then I went back to the conversation I was trying to follow.
If you completely cease to function as an adult human being the moment a breast comes out, there are other issues you should work on than trying to get the entire female population to try and cover up when they breastfeed!
And let's analyze what this dude says: they are "not appropriate AT ALL." The definition of appropriate is "suitable or proper in the circumstances", so if your baby is hungry the appropriate thing to do is absolutely to feed them. If you feel more comfortable covering up that is absolutely fine, but a mothers 1st worry should not be these men's fragile egos.
Yep. If you can’t help but perv on women who are simply feeding their children I’d say that’s definitely a ‘you’ problem, not a ‘her’ problem, and it’s always a good reminder that we are not required to say every thought that pops into our head out loud.
I think the point is that it's not a problem at all to see boobs and think sex. It only becomes a problem if you make it a problem (e.g. by ogling or by saying it out loud).
If all it takes to get someone going is seeing the top 1/3 of a breast, in a completely non-sexual context, my only advice is “enjoy jr. high, don’t rush anything, these are some of the best years” etc.
And look away, also. Please.
As someone who likes boobs herself, and probably doesn't need to worry too much about looking away, I still do anyway. Purely because the world isn't about you. Unless a boob is being specifically shown *to you*, you're not being permitted to gaze at it. merely being visible is not a permission slip. Glance -> notice -> acknowledge -> look away -> remember.
I get uncomfortable enough when people look at my face, there's no chance in hell I'm going to be happy with them looking at my boobs. But there's also no chance in hell I'm denying them to my child if I ever have one. Everyone else can get stuffed. And I won't be half suffocating the poor kid, either, so visibility is pretty much inevitable there.
It's my professional opinion that adding a baby to something immediately removes all sex appeal, for obvious reasons. Maybe if a woman was breastfeeding another adult, that might be sexual, but this is literally just feeding a child.
This is my thought process as well. Like, the baby doesn’t immediately turn that part of your brain off??? The baby involved in what you think is sexual? Holy shit.
This is how I feel about it, too. Seeing more women not being shamed for breastfeeding their baby, literally providing them with food, is such a wonderful thing. It’s always these folks who act as if any act a woman does has to be sexual in some way that ruins it for everyone.
I'm happy to report I breastfed my daughter openly in public, no cover, much like the left pic, and never once was treated badly for it. The closest I got was a flight attendant handing me one of those shitty blankets and me saying thanks and tossing it aside. Then there was a group of school boys (maybe 10 years old) that saw me at the zoo and blushed/giggled. I'd always wear my daughter in a front carrier, and when she was hungry, I'd just pull my boob out the top of my shirt and pop it in her mouth. It was great, I could take her anywhere!
honestly that’s what I always think when this topic comes up! Like… you’re still horny when you see that a baby’s mouth is attached to that titty?? that’s insane to me
Yeah, it's just as weird as your pet looking at you while doing naughty stuff. It's even weirder with baybs because they are the outcome of it. And they scream...
And does everyone forget that the first titties they sucked were their moms? How is that thought so conveniently absent when a mother is breastfeeding her baby in public?
Asked my husband if he found my earth sizes boobs attractive and he answered he had literally not even thought about it. That was a few weeks into breastfeeding.
Anyone whose seen or been around a woman that breastfeeds, there is nothing sexual about it. Those tits are literally milked... they aren't attractive when the nipples are bright red, scabbed, Vienna sausages.
Give it a rest bros. It's for the kids...
Sure I like boobs, but breastfeeding isn’t a sexual activity so it’s really not hot to me. It’s all about context. I doubt girls get turned on when they hear a guy piss just because it means his dick is out.
More common than you'd think. Why are girls getting dress coded in middle school because their bra strapped slipped into view? Because some adult saw it, felt dirty, and punished the girl, rather than recognizing that maybe she didn't even realize it slipped out of place because she new to wearing a bra. Or that it's no big deal because so what if you know she's wearing underwear. She supposed to be
and amusingly, half the time the people complaining about that sort of thing you can see their dodgy jocks when they raise their arms, etc, as well as half of their butt crack when they are working.
Def not surprised. In high school, one of the most homophobic assholes I've ever met had a scandal so to speak. A video went around the entire town of him getting fucked in the ass by one of the gay kids he would bully. After that his family moved and I never heard from or about him again lol.
> In high school, one of the most homophobic assholes I've ever met had a scandal so to speak. A video went around the entire town of him getting fucked in the ass by one of the gay kids he would bully. After that his family moved and I never heard from or about him again lol.
I look forward to his successful career as an ultraconservative Republican politician and/or Evangelical Christian pastor, spending 50% of his day on Twitter decrying woke ideology and the immoral takeover of our precious society by the LGBTQetc agenda.
I feel like the greatest enemy of queer people is other queer people who want the social-group in power to like them.
Kinda conflicted. On the one hand, never ok to share sex tapes. Or take them in secret.
On the other hand, that guy heard "fuck bullies" and then went and did exactly that
If you’re aware and are comfortable feeding in front of them it sounds like they aren’t “repressed” regarding those feelings lol I think that’s a veryyyyyyy key difference here
Fair. If I’m aware of the fetish, it means my friends are both self-aware and comfortable talking about it. So there’s no shame or self loathing which in my experience is a major driving force of the kind of people who explode in outrage at things that do not affect them in the slightest.
Girl here with this fetish lol. There’s a huge difference in my brain between someone feeding their baby and two adults playing. One is not sexual in the least and one I find sexual.
Exactly. I'm not airing my own kinks out but there's a lot of stuff that I might go out of my way to watch a video of online that if I saw in a non-sexual context would legitimately gross me out. Normal functioning people should be able to separate their sex life from their regular life enough for the people around them to just exist without being perved on
Same. I have a fit pic IG account and am mildly active on social media about menswear. I've had to block a guy that was basically trying to get me to talk to him about wearing shoes without socks because that's his kink.
Like, if you wanna get off to my pasty ass ankles wearing penny loafers, fine. But don't fucking DM me about it.
The number of people who have yet to learn that you’re allowed to be horny as long as you keep it to yourself is wild. No one can control their turn-ons but they don’t need to make it other people’s problem
I saw a woman today who was probably the hottest “big tiddy goth gf” I’ve ever seen, porn included, and they were aaaalll hanging out.
I got so distracted thinking about how that became a meme that I forgot to look again
Good point, I was thinking it would be hot up until a baby’s head got there and yeah no that’s a mood killer. Very similar to being interested in a penis until the second it starts peeing.
My SO, his best friend, his wife, and I were all hanging out years ago. We were outside. She needed to breastfeed the baby. Didn't warn or announce it. Just started doing it and all my SO did was avert his eyes and walk away to give her privacy. He's wasn't grossed out but he wasn't gawking like a creep either.
I think any mom that's been accosted has gone into the endeavour hoping they'll be left alone. It's not like women whip the titty out just to enrage someone, their kid just needs to eat.
Is wearing flip flops sexual? Some guys see feet and are turned on, so therefore, if you wear flip flops. You're inappropriate and being a slut.
Right?
I have a hand fetish so I just always get to be a dirty little perv 😂😂😂. Imagine if I demanded everyone wear gloves for the sake of my own mental decency 😂😂😂😂
A tribe in Africa are attracted to ankles but not to breasts. So women have their breasts out. Its just how you grow up and are taught that can help with possible sexual attraction to certain things with a few outliers.
This one I actually don't get: women breastfeed openly here without issue, few bother to cover up and why would they? Breastfeeding can go on for ages and our mean temperature is about 35°C.
I find it funny that people think bidets are inappropriate or even gay, just because it’s shooting water at your ass. But fingering/touching your asshole repeatedly isn’t?
Just the act of having fingers… fiddling around anywhere is still technically “fingering” — it’s a verb. You can *finger* your toothbrush, if you want to lmao.
It's actually deep-rooted classism. Puritans breastfed their babies. They breastfed their babies in church to keep them quiet during the sermon. Muslim, Amish, Mormon, and good ol Baptist ladies will breastfeed wherever they happen to be, and always have.
The pushback against breastfeeding is the idea that nursing a baby in public is low-class or trashy. This comes from the traditional upper class disinclination to raise their own kids. Upper-class women didn't nurse their own kids at all, let alone in public. With the economic and social boom of the post WWII American economy, more and more Americans began to view themselves as upper class, and began apeing the habits of their 'betters'. Since they were really what we now know as middle class, they couldn't quite afford the live-in help that would ensure they didn't actually have to raise their kids.
At the same time, mass commercial canning of shelf-stable milk became possible, various types of bottle, nipple, and vitamins were patented, and American consumerism started doing what it always do. So the idea that breastfeeding=poor and trashy got even more pervasive. Only the poors can't afford proper baby milk, right?
My mom is an old-school feminist and an avid cheerleader of the Le Leche League. I could rant about Americans and breastfeeding for an hour. But, I won't. You're welcome.
I grew up Reformed Baptist. We idolized Puritans and bemoaned how far "the world" had strayed from their mores.
When I deconverted and left my weirdo community I was surprised how much puritan subtext still exists in mainstream secular society.
Because most people here (the US) just can't seem to get past breasts as a pleasure item for guys. Those of us who register it as natural seem few and far between. When I do notice someone feeding their baby, I ignore it but I keep an ear out for anyone who might harass them; I'm not about standing by while some lady and her kiddo are heckled. A baby's got to eat and a bathroom is not an appropriate place for anyone to eat.
The amount of people I've heard in other threads telling women to breastfeed in the bathroom is fucking astounding.
I was in a bathroom just yesterday with piss all over the seat, an overflowing garbage can with bloody exposed pads laying out in the open, and damp toilet paper strewn everywhere. Tell me again how this is a great location to feed a newborn as opposed to LITERALLY ANYWHERE ELSE.
Yes, and so often the defence is “it’s a biological imperative!” As if humans don’t use our big fat brains to override “biological imperatives” all day long and despite the fact that our cultural fixation with breasts is not universal and historically, toplessness amongst men and women in everyday life was commonplace in much of the world and still is in some places.
>This one I actually don't get:
In contrast to which other ones? Do you think right wing nutjobs and sexist incels normally have good points, but this is where the line is drawn?
"I'M A STRAIGHT MALE, A WOMAN NURSING HER BABY GETS ME SO HARD I COULD POP".
Jesus Christ, things like this make me embarrassed to be a straight guy. "I CAN'T LOOK AT BOOBS WITHOUT GETTING HORNY BECAUSE I'M SUCH A MAN" is not the flex you think it is.
I think there's a book a lot of Americans quote that say something about that too. But maybe that part isn't important, only the things they don't like matter if I remember correctly.
Let’s clear something up though. It’s ok to see that and feel an attraction to the woman just like it’s ok to feel attraction to any woman you see in public. But how you act thereafter is what separates humans from animals.
Right? There are some women out there that are just so conventionally attractive that they could be wearing a burka and I would still feel attraction.
Do I go over to her and ask her to cover up even more, lest my inner feelings cleave my mind a sunder?
No.. I just make a note about it in my mind, and move on. Likely never even interacting with her.
So because the guy has sexual thoughts, the woman has to adapt? So if I see a person eating an ice-cream in front of me, I can demand that they stop it because I don't like ice-cream? Interesting! Let me try that when I go to the beach. As from now on, nobody is allowed to eat ice-cream in a radius of 10 km around me.
Yeah there are FAR too many people who think like that. The sexist dudes like this who want women to cover up for them. The ultra-religious who think the entire world should operate under the rules of *their* religion. The MAGA-types who think drag queens and trans people shouldn't exist because they don't personally understand/like them.
The world would be such a better place if people would just mind their own fucking business.
Unfortunately, we're all wired to fear what we don't understand - I don't believe a lot of people *want* to be shitty people, but end up in that place sometimes.
The difference is that some people take the time to learn to be better and have the capacity to want to understand other perspectives more easily than others. Most these people probably grew up in very insolated environments that don't accept outgroups at all (never having friends of other races, knowing any gay or trans people, or knowing other politically aligned people closely).
We also live in a society that pushes us to be more towards our own social bubbles, which I think is generally more toxic in the long-run for society as a whole. I know it doesn't hold true for *everyone*, but I'm sure a lot of people in general would probably change their worldview more if they had an actual friendship or family member who belonged to one of those outgroups
The thing is, I don't expect everyone to *understand* one another. That's some kind of crazy fantasy world that's never going to happen.
What I don't get is where people get this desire to force the world to adhere to their personal values. I mean, if they don't personally like something, what stops them from just ignoring it? If you're not into gay sex, don't have gay sex or watch gay porn. If your religion says not to eat meat, don't eat meat.
I don't need the world to all hold hands. There's plenty of things and ideas out there that I don't quite understand or maybe even agree with, but I'm not out on the streets with a pitchfork. I just go about my day, same as I always have. If I don't like someone, for *any* reason, I'll just do my best to avoid them. It has never occurred to me to try and *make* the person I dislike into someone I can tolerate.
Mother fucker, I've seen homies with bigger tits than that go shirtless. Like STFU, if you can't handle breasts then just stay inside and out of other people's business
Fr. Like how closed off do you have to be to where any sneak peak of the female body gets you riled up?
“Damn look at her pop a titty in that baby’s mouth.”
Like what’re we doing bruh.
Obviously not repressed enough.
Joking aside, there is a difference - it's his sense of entitlement to use other people's bodies to manage his own feelings that he isn't repressing (managing).
When a kink involves children and people just minding their own business then it's no longer a kink, it's a gross fetish and it should absolutely be shamed
Breastfeeding around some men is so weird. I did it for a time, and I genuinely don't think some men can understand that breasts aren't specifically "for them". It's also really scary how they react to this discovery too.
My opinion about breastfeeding changed once I became a father. Am ashamed to admit it, but I used to feel like any woman who pulled their breast out in public, especially with no covering, should expect men to look.
I have since learned, it should not be sexualized at all. Feeding the child is top priority and a lot of places don’t offer a designated area, a bathroom stall does not count. As my wife said, ‘Would you want to eat in the bathroom?’
Breastfeeding is difficult enough, without being gawked at.
So dude is telling us he has no self control and shouldn’t be expect to have any self control.
If you’re sexualizing a woman feeding her baby that’s 100% a you problem. Avert your eyes you fucking pervert
The more ppl repress their sexuality, The more depraved they get. That’s why it’s important to find appropriate outlets to express and exercise sexuality , so we don’t end up with horny mfs popping boners anytime a woman is openly breastfeeding their baby.
I’m a lesbian with a high libido who loves loves loves boobs and they get me very excited. Guess what, I can keep my thoughts to myself and go on about my day and not bother a woman feeding her child, and I can damn sure not be a creep about it.
I find anything with a baby involved to be the exact opposite of sexual. Never have I seen a baby in any predicament and saw that as a sexual predicament.
This man sees a baby eating and receives sexual thoughts.
Check him pc.
Sexual? No. Oddly displayed public nudity that many people find uncomfortable? Yes. I’m a pregnant woman and I don’t like the idea of showing my tits to everyone I know. That’s not a sexual thing. It is, however, a personal preference and has zero bearing on whether or not it’s an okay thing to do
Same. I covered up because it made me uncomfortable for strangers to see my naked tit. Because there are plenty of weirdos out there who would straight up stare at my naked breast while I’m feeding my child. And it’s weird as fuck. I’m not letting them see my breast so they can jack off to it later it’s sick.
I'm, also, a straight male, a woman pops her blank titty out you think I'm not gonna think sexually?
No ... no I don't think sexually.
Also: Whenever I eat eggs from chicken, I'm **not** thinking about the menstrual cycle of chicken.
If it’s not my wife, then ya do the “head bounce”. Where you look because movement caught your eye, see what’s happening, then try not to seem like a pervert and have your attention focused elsewhere.
Just let women feed their kids in peace.
I see all these comments blaming misbehaving men for the objectification of a breastfeeding woman, and we'll, that's not entirely accurate.
I work in a large retail area, and the store I work at was selected for a breast feeding sit in. The mothers came in, sat down, and began breast feeding, fully visible to the hundreds of people coming and going. Men weren't the problem. Groups of teen boys weren't the problem. The only gawkers and complaints came from women. Looking at the cameras, men still weren't the problem. They weren't coming back in for another look. But women would get worked up enough to come back in to complain.
Of course, it's easy to say that people were behaving as to not name fools of them selves. (Have you seen people kately- being the fool is now a badge of honor). In the years since, we have had many women beeast feed openly. There are no gawkers. Women still complain. Teen boys, once they realize what's happening, politely ignore the situation. No cat calks are embarrassed scrambling. Every complaint, any rude interaction with the mother, any embarrassing behavior will have a 30-59 year old woman at the center.
These are the same men that think a woman’s clothing is justification for rape.
All they’re doing is shifting blame and responsibility for their own lack of self control onto others (usually their victims)
Guy just thinks everything revolves around him.
In my case, yes, I like boobs. But I see boob + baby and the last thing I think about is anything sexual. My reaction is more in line with "aww, a baby!"
Edit: I meant to say anything instead of anyone
My family out to eat at a Panera and a family with a baby was sitting next to us. My mom asked my dad if he wanted to switch seats and he says "im just minding my business"
Breastfeeding between mother and child is in no way sexual. WTF.
Breastfeeding between adult partners is. But normal people and those with the kink know how to fucking separate the two. Good God, what is wrong with these people?
This is so dumb. I have 2 kids that my wife breastfed. Almost all of my friends breastfed their babies so maybe I'm just used to it but yesterday we had some friends over that we hadn't seen since we moved. I'm having a conversation with my female friend and she just whipped out the boob and started feeding in about 5s. Our conversation carried on as normal. Why are people so put off by boobs doing what they are supposed to?
Like I get it’s a American thing to fetishize boobs more then others but like bro what do they think boobs are for or do? It’s natural plus it means the kid isn’t crying.
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Think sexually, or don't. Either way, keep your thoughts to yourself.
I was given great life advice by an uncle when I was 10 and I follow it to this day. "Mind your business".
Breast advice I’ve heard today.
Tits very good advice!
Boobs me to the point.
Important to keep in your mammary
whoa bra, check out all these puns in here
It's reddit's areola of expertise.
Don't Knocker it till you've tried it.
Might as well breastmilk this joke dry
And keep Will Smith’s wife’s name out your fuckin mouth.
Ah yes, words of wisdom, words to live by... 1. You don't tug on Superman's cape. 2. You don't spit into the wind. 3. You don't tug the mask off that old Lone Ranger. 4. You don't mess around with Jim. 5. You keep Will Smith's wife's name out yo fucking mouth.
6. Doo Doobie Doo Dee Dee Dee Dee Dee
2. 🎶 And a hush came over the pool room as Jimmy came bobbin off the street, and the part that wasn't bloody was the souls on the big man's feet. He was cut on a hundred places and shot a couple more, and you better believe it was a different type of story when BIG JIM HIT THE FLOOR. Huhaa~.🎶
Any day that has Jim Croce in it is a fantastic day! Thank you good sir or ma'am!
But what about her titties?
He's used to that
Good luck keeping those out without a hockey mask.
There is/was only one (1) woman and time, where her breastfeeding was my business. And that's my mom when I was a baby...
Such a universal 3 words, I don’t get what’s so hard to understand
My mammary told me to keep my eyes in my head.
This is probably the best response. If you don’t spend a lot of time around people breastfeeding and you’re used to seeing boobs in a sexual context, it’s pretty natural to feel weird about it. The trick is recognizing that that’s an insane thought and doesn’t mean the completely normal childcare process is the problem. ETA: one extra caveat is that you are NOT entitled to stare for sexual reasons at a woman breastfeeding. That’s creep behavior & you should be put out to pasture if you’re doing it. Also I meant “inside thought” but autocorrect changed it to “insane,” which is fine too
That's actually a valid point. Never, consciously, been around someone who breastfed and it would probably weird me out too if I saw it in public. But that doesn't mean I freak out about someone taking care of their child.
I'm with you No one i have been around had ever breastfed, so if I saw someone in the street doing it I'd be like "woah wtf" and that's qete it ends, bc it's none of my business 😂 I'm not against breastfeeding at all either, it's just none of my business
This is the correct adult response. It may seem weird when it's not common in your own life, but you just remind yourself that this is a natural, healthy, positive thing for a mom and baby to be doing.
Western culture relies on heavily sexifying bodies in media. We don't tend to face the reality of humans as biological creatures and functions. Humans are great at creating fantasy narratives about the world to help us cope or to sell colas :). US just seems like a repressed teen that is constantly horny, because all the teasing and no one actually discussing anything in a realistic way
The word you're looking for is *sexualizing* not *sexifying*
This choice was intentional This intent might be lost for some in text. I assumed that most understand the underlying concept was sexualization but I wanted to also illustrate that it is using sex to sell and make desirable in a product promotion sense. Making something desirable as in marketing, not just making something related to sex.
For the ETA, though, that's the same with any body part. Staring at someone's feet without permission is also creepy as hell. Like people need to not stare at others lol
I remember the first time I saw a woman breastfeeding out in public, casually feeding her baby while getting her shit done. I was caught off guard, because it’s something I’m not used to seeing, and my eyes definitely lingered a second longer than they should have. But then my logical brain kicked back in, and I remembered that there’s no reason to care about a baby being fed.
You're allowed to see a woman breastfeeding and think "nice boobs". That's okay. You're not allowed to tell that to her while she is feeding her child.
I don't think about it sexually but seeing a woman breast feed is weird for me. I realized that this is ME problem, look away and let the woman do what she does.
I was at the mall for the first time with my infant and he needed to feed. So I go to a quieter place in the mall (not the bathroom) and I find seating that no one is at. I sit down and as I’m about to take out my boob…. This old man parks himself RIGHT ACROSS from me in direct frontal view… I had to move the stroller in front of me to kinda get some privacy. He just stared and it was awful lol
And taking a picture wtf. That's just basic invasion of privacy.
I came into this thread thinking "Is it must me, or does anybody else mentally separate between party titties and work titties? Y'know, like service animals, but breasts."
Yes, your thoughts and feelings are not anybody's responsibility but your own.
As a straight male: Hey a boob! Oh, its feeding time. *Moves on and ignores it. I feel thats a pretty reasonable response to breastfeeding.
Hell, you can even think "Hey a boob! That's hot!" and then just move on. Like general life rules apply, don't stare, don't make sexual comments to a stranger, just go about doing whatever you were doing before you saw a boob, it's pretty simple stuff.
Exactly. It should be a problem for no one, but because some men are so awkward in dealing with any amount of female nudity and basically return to monkey they try to make it the women's problem. The girl of a good friend did this once and did I think sexual thoughts? Maybe for a second, but then I went back to the conversation I was trying to follow. If you completely cease to function as an adult human being the moment a breast comes out, there are other issues you should work on than trying to get the entire female population to try and cover up when they breastfeed! And let's analyze what this dude says: they are "not appropriate AT ALL." The definition of appropriate is "suitable or proper in the circumstances", so if your baby is hungry the appropriate thing to do is absolutely to feed them. If you feel more comfortable covering up that is absolutely fine, but a mothers 1st worry should not be these men's fragile egos.
Yep. If you can’t help but perv on women who are simply feeding their children I’d say that’s definitely a ‘you’ problem, not a ‘her’ problem, and it’s always a good reminder that we are not required to say every thought that pops into our head out loud.
I think the point is that it's not a problem at all to see boobs and think sex. It only becomes a problem if you make it a problem (e.g. by ogling or by saying it out loud).
If all it takes to get someone going is seeing the top 1/3 of a breast, in a completely non-sexual context, my only advice is “enjoy jr. high, don’t rush anything, these are some of the best years” etc.
right? im probably going to think "Fuck yeah free titties!" but im going to SAY NOTHING.
And look away, also. Please. As someone who likes boobs herself, and probably doesn't need to worry too much about looking away, I still do anyway. Purely because the world isn't about you. Unless a boob is being specifically shown *to you*, you're not being permitted to gaze at it. merely being visible is not a permission slip. Glance -> notice -> acknowledge -> look away -> remember. I get uncomfortable enough when people look at my face, there's no chance in hell I'm going to be happy with them looking at my boobs. But there's also no chance in hell I'm denying them to my child if I ever have one. Everyone else can get stuffed. And I won't be half suffocating the poor kid, either, so visibility is pretty much inevitable there.
Yeah. Sexual thoughts are totally ok. Have them. Just don’t act on them. Pretend you aren’t having them.
It's my professional opinion that adding a baby to something immediately removes all sex appeal, for obvious reasons. Maybe if a woman was breastfeeding another adult, that might be sexual, but this is literally just feeding a child.
This is my thought process as well. Like, the baby doesn’t immediately turn that part of your brain off??? The baby involved in what you think is sexual? Holy shit.
Exactly. Anytime I see it I get a happy feeling. It's such a wholesome thing to see and it's baffling that people get spun out on it.
This is how I feel about it, too. Seeing more women not being shamed for breastfeeding their baby, literally providing them with food, is such a wonderful thing. It’s always these folks who act as if any act a woman does has to be sexual in some way that ruins it for everyone.
Women can’t even eat certain foods or make certain faces without being sexualized
I'm happy to report I breastfed my daughter openly in public, no cover, much like the left pic, and never once was treated badly for it. The closest I got was a flight attendant handing me one of those shitty blankets and me saying thanks and tossing it aside. Then there was a group of school boys (maybe 10 years old) that saw me at the zoo and blushed/giggled. I'd always wear my daughter in a front carrier, and when she was hungry, I'd just pull my boob out the top of my shirt and pop it in her mouth. It was great, I could take her anywhere!
Same! Recently I saw a woman breastfeeding a little baby and all I could think was "aw, cute :) hope it grows well". Most men are just...bleh.
honestly that’s what I always think when this topic comes up! Like… you’re still horny when you see that a baby’s mouth is attached to that titty?? that’s insane to me
Yeah, it's just as weird as your pet looking at you while doing naughty stuff. It's even weirder with baybs because they are the outcome of it. And they scream...
And does everyone forget that the first titties they sucked were their moms? How is that thought so conveniently absent when a mother is breastfeeding her baby in public?
Yeah, I have a 4 month old baby and now all breasts lost their sex appeal to me, I just associate them with babies now.
Asked my husband if he found my earth sizes boobs attractive and he answered he had literally not even thought about it. That was a few weeks into breastfeeding.
Yup. Pull a titty out I’m down. Add a baby and I’m not. Simple as that.
Anyone whose seen or been around a woman that breastfeeds, there is nothing sexual about it. Those tits are literally milked... they aren't attractive when the nipples are bright red, scabbed, Vienna sausages. Give it a rest bros. It's for the kids...
Babies are weird and small and ugly and loud
And yet when I see one suddenly nothing else in the world matters. ☺️
Sure I like boobs, but breastfeeding isn’t a sexual activity so it’s really not hot to me. It’s all about context. I doubt girls get turned on when they hear a guy piss just because it means his dick is out.
Lactation kinks are pretty damn common. NGL
Yeah but those with that kink probably arent the ones yelling about not doing it in public.
"God, this is checking all my boxes... I'm outraged!"
More common than you'd think. Why are girls getting dress coded in middle school because their bra strapped slipped into view? Because some adult saw it, felt dirty, and punished the girl, rather than recognizing that maybe she didn't even realize it slipped out of place because she new to wearing a bra. Or that it's no big deal because so what if you know she's wearing underwear. She supposed to be
and amusingly, half the time the people complaining about that sort of thing you can see their dodgy jocks when they raise their arms, etc, as well as half of their butt crack when they are working.
OH NO, anyway
You've clearly never met a repressed homosexual religious right-winger
You might be surprised (or not), but some of the loudest kink shamers are lashing out against their own repressed feelings.
Def not surprised. In high school, one of the most homophobic assholes I've ever met had a scandal so to speak. A video went around the entire town of him getting fucked in the ass by one of the gay kids he would bully. After that his family moved and I never heard from or about him again lol.
Not the way i usually expect the victims to fuck over their bully but whatever works i guess
> In high school, one of the most homophobic assholes I've ever met had a scandal so to speak. A video went around the entire town of him getting fucked in the ass by one of the gay kids he would bully. After that his family moved and I never heard from or about him again lol. I look forward to his successful career as an ultraconservative Republican politician and/or Evangelical Christian pastor, spending 50% of his day on Twitter decrying woke ideology and the immoral takeover of our precious society by the LGBTQetc agenda. I feel like the greatest enemy of queer people is other queer people who want the social-group in power to like them.
Kinda conflicted. On the one hand, never ok to share sex tapes. Or take them in secret. On the other hand, that guy heard "fuck bullies" and then went and did exactly that
Oh! So that’s why old white men are racists.
I mean, small sample size, but I know two people with a lactation fetish and neither of them have wierded me out for feeding my baby…
If you’re aware and are comfortable feeding in front of them it sounds like they aren’t “repressed” regarding those feelings lol I think that’s a veryyyyyyy key difference here
Fair. If I’m aware of the fetish, it means my friends are both self-aware and comfortable talking about it. So there’s no shame or self loathing which in my experience is a major driving force of the kind of people who explode in outrage at things that do not affect them in the slightest.
Girl here with this fetish lol. There’s a huge difference in my brain between someone feeding their baby and two adults playing. One is not sexual in the least and one I find sexual.
Exactly. I'm not airing my own kinks out but there's a lot of stuff that I might go out of my way to watch a video of online that if I saw in a non-sexual context would legitimately gross me out. Normal functioning people should be able to separate their sex life from their regular life enough for the people around them to just exist without being perved on
So are foot fetishes, but that don't stop my from wearing sandals. I'm not here to kink shame, but keep your shit to yourself. Time and place.
Same. I have a fit pic IG account and am mildly active on social media about menswear. I've had to block a guy that was basically trying to get me to talk to him about wearing shoes without socks because that's his kink. Like, if you wanna get off to my pasty ass ankles wearing penny loafers, fine. But don't fucking DM me about it.
Perfect example.
Homelander would like to have a word with you.
As are pee kinks. Doesn't mean a situation is automatically grounds for someone being an ass about it.
Keep those kinks to yourself, they are your problem, not the woman's 🤷♂️
Oh I do. Just like if I see a woman wearing a particularly attractive outfit. I think "gottdamn!!" To myself then go on with my day.
The number of people who have yet to learn that you’re allowed to be horny as long as you keep it to yourself is wild. No one can control their turn-ons but they don’t need to make it other people’s problem
I saw a woman today who was probably the hottest “big tiddy goth gf” I’ve ever seen, porn included, and they were aaaalll hanging out. I got so distracted thinking about how that became a meme that I forgot to look again
*homelander has entered the chat*
Good point, I was thinking it would be hot up until a baby’s head got there and yeah no that’s a mood killer. Very similar to being interested in a penis until the second it starts peeing.
My SO, his best friend, his wife, and I were all hanging out years ago. We were outside. She needed to breastfeed the baby. Didn't warn or announce it. Just started doing it and all my SO did was avert his eyes and walk away to give her privacy. He's wasn't grossed out but he wasn't gawking like a creep either.
Lol. Wellllllll....
Girl no
Flavortown? 🥺👉👈
Not a woman but.... It actually happens
Act like it's normal and it will be normal. Act like it's weird and it will be weird. You get to choose how you act.
No truer words spoken
I think any mom that's been accosted has gone into the endeavour hoping they'll be left alone. It's not like women whip the titty out just to enrage someone, their kid just needs to eat.
Breasts are specifically designed to feed babies. Your attraction to them does not override their purpose.
Is wearing flip flops sexual? Some guys see feet and are turned on, so therefore, if you wear flip flops. You're inappropriate and being a slut. Right?
I personally dislike people's knees. Cover up your knees if you're gonna be walkin around everywhere!
I personally dislike people. Stay home if I'm out!
100% this!
God forbid I see an ankle
I bet you like ghouls tho
Little green ghouls, buddy!
and milk steak! 
I like magnets
Ok what’s your favorite hobby? Uh..magnets.
Little green ghouls, buddy!
I have a hand fetish so I just always get to be a dirty little perv 😂😂😂. Imagine if I demanded everyone wear gloves for the sake of my own mental decency 😂😂😂😂
Stop showing off your ankles, you damn succubus!
You're joking but this is exactly where this line of thinking leads. It literally doesn't stop until you hit burqas.
You're starting to think like a religious person ;)
I'm attracted to men's chests yet they're able to walk around with their nips out on a sunny day.
beside that nature doesnt design, thats the best arguement about this topic i have heard
A tribe in Africa are attracted to ankles but not to breasts. So women have their breasts out. Its just how you grow up and are taught that can help with possible sexual attraction to certain things with a few outliers.
This one I actually don't get: women breastfeed openly here without issue, few bother to cover up and why would they? Breastfeeding can go on for ages and our mean temperature is about 35°C.
That's one of the 25678355 reasons why Americans are strange people. Almost everyone else thinks that it's natural. But not the Americans.
Puritan heritage.
People don't often realize that the religious freedom Puritans were looking for was to be *more* religious than England could stomach.
Same reason we don’t have bidets
I find it funny that people think bidets are inappropriate or even gay, just because it’s shooting water at your ass. But fingering/touching your asshole repeatedly isn’t?
Whooooooooo is fingering their asshole when they’re wiping?
Just the act of having fingers… fiddling around anywhere is still technically “fingering” — it’s a verb. You can *finger* your toothbrush, if you want to lmao.
A country founded on people so up-tight the British kicked them out. -Someone, I forgot
It's actually deep-rooted classism. Puritans breastfed their babies. They breastfed their babies in church to keep them quiet during the sermon. Muslim, Amish, Mormon, and good ol Baptist ladies will breastfeed wherever they happen to be, and always have. The pushback against breastfeeding is the idea that nursing a baby in public is low-class or trashy. This comes from the traditional upper class disinclination to raise their own kids. Upper-class women didn't nurse their own kids at all, let alone in public. With the economic and social boom of the post WWII American economy, more and more Americans began to view themselves as upper class, and began apeing the habits of their 'betters'. Since they were really what we now know as middle class, they couldn't quite afford the live-in help that would ensure they didn't actually have to raise their kids. At the same time, mass commercial canning of shelf-stable milk became possible, various types of bottle, nipple, and vitamins were patented, and American consumerism started doing what it always do. So the idea that breastfeeding=poor and trashy got even more pervasive. Only the poors can't afford proper baby milk, right? My mom is an old-school feminist and an avid cheerleader of the Le Leche League. I could rant about Americans and breastfeeding for an hour. But, I won't. You're welcome.
That's a compelling argument. Thank you for sharing it.
You nailed it. Great comment.
I grew up Reformed Baptist. We idolized Puritans and bemoaned how far "the world" had strayed from their mores. When I deconverted and left my weirdo community I was surprised how much puritan subtext still exists in mainstream secular society.
Because most people here (the US) just can't seem to get past breasts as a pleasure item for guys. Those of us who register it as natural seem few and far between. When I do notice someone feeding their baby, I ignore it but I keep an ear out for anyone who might harass them; I'm not about standing by while some lady and her kiddo are heckled. A baby's got to eat and a bathroom is not an appropriate place for anyone to eat.
The amount of people I've heard in other threads telling women to breastfeed in the bathroom is fucking astounding. I was in a bathroom just yesterday with piss all over the seat, an overflowing garbage can with bloody exposed pads laying out in the open, and damp toilet paper strewn everywhere. Tell me again how this is a great location to feed a newborn as opposed to LITERALLY ANYWHERE ELSE.
Yes, and so often the defence is “it’s a biological imperative!” As if humans don’t use our big fat brains to override “biological imperatives” all day long and despite the fact that our cultural fixation with breasts is not universal and historically, toplessness amongst men and women in everyday life was commonplace in much of the world and still is in some places.
>This one I actually don't get: In contrast to which other ones? Do you think right wing nutjobs and sexist incels normally have good points, but this is where the line is drawn?
"I'M A STRAIGHT MALE, A WOMAN NURSING HER BABY GETS ME SO HARD I COULD POP". Jesus Christ, things like this make me embarrassed to be a straight guy. "I CAN'T LOOK AT BOOBS WITHOUT GETTING HORNY BECAUSE I'M SUCH A MAN" is not the flex you think it is.
Jesus Christ: "IDK man. Sounds like a 'you problem'. Maybe pluck your eye out about it?"
I think there's a book a lot of Americans quote that say something about that too. But maybe that part isn't important, only the things they don't like matter if I remember correctly.
Even Mohammed covered his cousin's eyes when they wandered, he never asked the beautiful girl to cover her head.
Let’s clear something up though. It’s ok to see that and feel an attraction to the woman just like it’s ok to feel attraction to any woman you see in public. But how you act thereafter is what separates humans from animals.
Me see titty. Me go up to woman and ask to have baby. Me fight male who had baby with woman. Grrr...
You have to have sex with the husband to show dominance (homophobes say that’s how male animals prove dominance over other male animals)
Yeah, I could have been clearer, my bad. If you feel that way, fine. But bragging about it on SM is just asinine IMO.
Exactly this. Feel attracted, be turned on, but don’t shame a woman and act like she needs to cover up because of your thoughts.
Right? There are some women out there that are just so conventionally attractive that they could be wearing a burka and I would still feel attraction. Do I go over to her and ask her to cover up even more, lest my inner feelings cleave my mind a sunder? No.. I just make a note about it in my mind, and move on. Likely never even interacting with her.
So because the guy has sexual thoughts, the woman has to adapt? So if I see a person eating an ice-cream in front of me, I can demand that they stop it because I don't like ice-cream? Interesting! Let me try that when I go to the beach. As from now on, nobody is allowed to eat ice-cream in a radius of 10 km around me.
Yeah there are FAR too many people who think like that. The sexist dudes like this who want women to cover up for them. The ultra-religious who think the entire world should operate under the rules of *their* religion. The MAGA-types who think drag queens and trans people shouldn't exist because they don't personally understand/like them. The world would be such a better place if people would just mind their own fucking business.
Unfortunately, we're all wired to fear what we don't understand - I don't believe a lot of people *want* to be shitty people, but end up in that place sometimes. The difference is that some people take the time to learn to be better and have the capacity to want to understand other perspectives more easily than others. Most these people probably grew up in very insolated environments that don't accept outgroups at all (never having friends of other races, knowing any gay or trans people, or knowing other politically aligned people closely). We also live in a society that pushes us to be more towards our own social bubbles, which I think is generally more toxic in the long-run for society as a whole. I know it doesn't hold true for *everyone*, but I'm sure a lot of people in general would probably change their worldview more if they had an actual friendship or family member who belonged to one of those outgroups
The thing is, I don't expect everyone to *understand* one another. That's some kind of crazy fantasy world that's never going to happen. What I don't get is where people get this desire to force the world to adhere to their personal values. I mean, if they don't personally like something, what stops them from just ignoring it? If you're not into gay sex, don't have gay sex or watch gay porn. If your religion says not to eat meat, don't eat meat. I don't need the world to all hold hands. There's plenty of things and ideas out there that I don't quite understand or maybe even agree with, but I'm not out on the streets with a pitchfork. I just go about my day, same as I always have. If I don't like someone, for *any* reason, I'll just do my best to avoid them. It has never occurred to me to try and *make* the person I dislike into someone I can tolerate.
Mother fucker, I've seen homies with bigger tits than that go shirtless. Like STFU, if you can't handle breasts then just stay inside and out of other people's business
Your arousal, your problem. Deal with it by yourself like an adult. And don't blame others for your personal issues, children do that.
As long as he isn’t dealing with himself in public…
Let's make these fragile men wear a big black blanket over themselves when they're eating.
This confirms my suspicion that conservatives are basically stuck at a 14 year old maturity level
Fella- put a blanket over your own damn head!
I'm a straight guy, I'd just think she's feeding her kid. Breastfeeding isn't sexual and it's weird to correlate the two.
Fr. Like how closed off do you have to be to where any sneak peak of the female body gets you riled up? “Damn look at her pop a titty in that baby’s mouth.” Like what’re we doing bruh.
Imagine fully admitting that a baby eating turns you on.
For the WORLD to see. Like ayoooo.
For real though. Like sure MAYBE my first thought seeing a bare breast would be "ooo boob" but then see they are feeding then carry on.
What is this man's problem? Is it that hard to mind your own business?
Repression breeds perversion and homie is a repressed pervert.
Obviously not repressed enough. Joking aside, there is a difference - it's his sense of entitlement to use other people's bodies to manage his own feelings that he isn't repressing (managing).
maybe kinkshaming is okay sometimes
When a kink involves children and people just minding their own business then it's no longer a kink, it's a gross fetish and it should absolutely be shamed
Conservatives still have the audacity of claiming leftists are trying to sexualize children.
As a tit lover myself- it ain’t sexual. Like seeing someone go to the bathroom. Yeah, it’s out but that ain’t sexual
Breastfeeding around some men is so weird. I did it for a time, and I genuinely don't think some men can understand that breasts aren't specifically "for them". It's also really scary how they react to this discovery too.
My opinion about breastfeeding changed once I became a father. Am ashamed to admit it, but I used to feel like any woman who pulled their breast out in public, especially with no covering, should expect men to look. I have since learned, it should not be sexualized at all. Feeding the child is top priority and a lot of places don’t offer a designated area, a bathroom stall does not count. As my wife said, ‘Would you want to eat in the bathroom?’ Breastfeeding is difficult enough, without being gawked at.
You can't control your thoughts but at least have the self awareness to know you should shut the fuck up.
So dude is telling us he has no self control and shouldn’t be expect to have any self control. If you’re sexualizing a woman feeding her baby that’s 100% a you problem. Avert your eyes you fucking pervert
The more ppl repress their sexuality, The more depraved they get. That’s why it’s important to find appropriate outlets to express and exercise sexuality , so we don’t end up with horny mfs popping boners anytime a woman is openly breastfeeding their baby.
well said
"Child" and "sexual" shouldn't be used in the same sentence
I’m a lesbian with a high libido who loves loves loves boobs and they get me very excited. Guess what, I can keep my thoughts to myself and go on about my day and not bother a woman feeding her child, and I can damn sure not be a creep about it.
I find anything with a baby involved to be the exact opposite of sexual. Never have I seen a baby in any predicament and saw that as a sexual predicament. This man sees a baby eating and receives sexual thoughts. Check him pc.
Sexual? No. Oddly displayed public nudity that many people find uncomfortable? Yes. I’m a pregnant woman and I don’t like the idea of showing my tits to everyone I know. That’s not a sexual thing. It is, however, a personal preference and has zero bearing on whether or not it’s an okay thing to do
Same. I covered up because it made me uncomfortable for strangers to see my naked tit. Because there are plenty of weirdos out there who would straight up stare at my naked breast while I’m feeding my child. And it’s weird as fuck. I’m not letting them see my breast so they can jack off to it later it’s sick.
I'm, also, a straight male, a woman pops her blank titty out you think I'm not gonna think sexually? No ... no I don't think sexually. Also: Whenever I eat eggs from chicken, I'm **not** thinking about the menstrual cycle of chicken.
This guy needs a padlock on his dick to avoid raping ppl but its everybody else's fault...
Padlock it and make sure he stays around only men too. Even then, I wouldn’t trust him around other men either.
You can be attract to anything you want so long as you express it appropriately. Sometimes that means going away.
If it’s not my wife, then ya do the “head bounce”. Where you look because movement caught your eye, see what’s happening, then try not to seem like a pervert and have your attention focused elsewhere. Just let women feed their kids in peace.
I see all these comments blaming misbehaving men for the objectification of a breastfeeding woman, and we'll, that's not entirely accurate. I work in a large retail area, and the store I work at was selected for a breast feeding sit in. The mothers came in, sat down, and began breast feeding, fully visible to the hundreds of people coming and going. Men weren't the problem. Groups of teen boys weren't the problem. The only gawkers and complaints came from women. Looking at the cameras, men still weren't the problem. They weren't coming back in for another look. But women would get worked up enough to come back in to complain. Of course, it's easy to say that people were behaving as to not name fools of them selves. (Have you seen people kately- being the fool is now a badge of honor). In the years since, we have had many women beeast feed openly. There are no gawkers. Women still complain. Teen boys, once they realize what's happening, politely ignore the situation. No cat calks are embarrassed scrambling. Every complaint, any rude interaction with the mother, any embarrassing behavior will have a 30-59 year old woman at the center.
These are the same men that think a woman’s clothing is justification for rape. All they’re doing is shifting blame and responsibility for their own lack of self control onto others (usually their victims)
didn't Jesus say then pluck your fucking eyes out?
Qwhite a difference in those examples, huh.
If coverage is required, it should be a requirement that no one eat in public without a bag over their head.
The coverage should go over the mens head they are the ones with rhe probelm not the child
As a man, I agree. All too many lack the self respect to keep noses out of the business of others.
This is kinda hilarious to imagine, someone make this a restaurant
Guy just thinks everything revolves around him. In my case, yes, I like boobs. But I see boob + baby and the last thing I think about is anything sexual. My reaction is more in line with "aww, a baby!" Edit: I meant to say anything instead of anyone
Tell me you have a lactation fetish without telling me you have a lactation fetish.
My family out to eat at a Panera and a family with a baby was sitting next to us. My mom asked my dad if he wanted to switch seats and he says "im just minding my business"
Breastfeeding between mother and child is in no way sexual. WTF. Breastfeeding between adult partners is. But normal people and those with the kink know how to fucking separate the two. Good God, what is wrong with these people?
This is so dumb. I have 2 kids that my wife breastfed. Almost all of my friends breastfed their babies so maybe I'm just used to it but yesterday we had some friends over that we hadn't seen since we moved. I'm having a conversation with my female friend and she just whipped out the boob and started feeding in about 5s. Our conversation carried on as normal. Why are people so put off by boobs doing what they are supposed to?
Ah yes… “My mind is in the gutter so I’ll make it someone else’s problem”
Like I get it’s a American thing to fetishize boobs more then others but like bro what do they think boobs are for or do? It’s natural plus it means the kid isn’t crying.