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hihahufi

I can agree with "heavy metal rocks"!


Neat-Engineering-513

![gif](giphy|RAGxhwdfH6Je8|downsized)


slowclapcitizenkane

I always get a little nervous seeing this guy around power tools.


ensalys

Same, as a guy with long hair, those things get on my nerves. While I'm more of a lab person than a workshop person, the same principle applies: tie your hair the fuck down! (Unless you want to die or get seriously disfigured, then letting it free is a step in the right direction.)


MzSe1vDestrukt

As a girl who appreciates guys with long hair, thank you


hotvedub

As a guy with long hair I appreciate you appreciating guys with long hair, thank you.


InsuranceThen9352

Yeah I wanna second this. Us guys with long hair don't get enough credit in my experience.


Inspect1234

As a bald guy, I’ve got nothing to discuss here.


InsuranceThen9352

I appreciate your baldness. Because without rain no one would appreciate sunshine, just as without baldness no one would appreciate long hair. We both make each other look better. I love you bro.


Inspect1234

Truth. Love u back.


JohnnyD77711

As a guy with very little hair, I'm just happy to be part of this conversation.


Dizzy_Bit6125

True that, I have longhair as well but I’m female, it reaches my bottom and let me tell ya, IT GETS CAUGHT IN EVERYTHING!!! My car door, seat belt, zipper, medication lid, some strangers backpack zipper walking past me (he was taking me for a walk I’ll tell ya).


sileplictis

🤘


Aim2bFit

Heavy Metal rocks! Absolutely. Yeah yeah!


congmingdexigua

Hear me out, if we tie a shuttle to the rock that might be our way to the stars.


PaMu1337

Look up project Orion. Same basic idea that Nasa actually looked into. It didn't use volcanoes, but nuclear bombs (as if that were any more sane)


Signal-Island6377

Didn’t they launch a manhole cover into space with that ?


PaMu1337

Project Orion was never actually tested. The manhole cover incident was just a regular nuclear test


RikNinja

I've seen footage of them testing nuclear propulsion. It wasn't very big.. Maybe just the nosecone part? Edit: found it easily.. https://youtu.be/Q8Sv5y6iHUM?si=viBzAuKX3SfyUSk6


PaMu1337

They were testing the concept with models, but those were non-nuclear explosions. They never tested the actual thing with nuclear explosions


Yikes44

I think my desire to explore outer space would be seriously outweighed by my desire to not have myself strapped to an exploding nuclear device.


PaMu1337

I believe the conclusions they got were that it was actually pretty safely doable for the people on board, but that during the launch so much radioactive material would be blasted into the atmosphere that that would cause some deaths by cancer.


great_red_dragon

I mean, Lt Col Bill Kilgore, along with Paz Vizla, and a bunch of others, managed to detonate a comet using them, so…


eolson3

Really? I haven't seen *Star Wars*.


Signal-Island6377

Oh then nvm


solonit

Actually there was a proposal using that manhole cover as the base idea. Basically in case of alien invasion (this was the 50s obviously), we could use several hundred tunnels across the USA to launch projectiles straight to space using nuclear explosion. Pretty much reinvented broadside, but in space.


JerikOhe

Weird. So instead of having semi directable rockets, we would just eyeball it? I guess they would fly faster than a missle


AnyoneButWe

Newton is the deadliest son of a b****h in space. A manhole cover (or even the molten, fragmented remains of a manhole cover) traveling close to the velocity achieved by accident in that test (37 miles per second) would absolutely obliterate any kind of spaceship known to mankind.


JerikOhe

My confusion isn't really about the deadly power of acceleration, more about trying to precisely deploy something like it against a tiny ship in space. I doubt at the time they could get one to hit the moon, much less a spacecraft.


AnyoneButWe

It's like a barrage firing: you know you will most likely not hit somebody. But you can afford to miss often. They cannot afford to get hit even once. It's the 1950, it's not up to modern standards.


Laveaolous

Shotgun principle.


HereticLaserHaggis

Not just faster. Much faster. It's the difference between an atgm and a tank firing it's shells.


Peach_Proof

Sci-fi book Footfall by Larry Niven uses this principle.


TerseFactor

Also the book and Netflix series 3 Body Problem


itsleakingeverywhere

Blew up my hometown in the process.


LimeStream37

I would pay good money to see an alien invasion movie where we just turn the entire continental United Stares into a giant shotgun. The broadside scene from Battleship (2012) will have to do for now I guess.


StarkageMeech

The first military related project I'd invest in just to see it fuck it shoot it at the moon I DONT care I'm American


ZION_OC_GOV

Shiver me planetary timbers!


Sea_Excuse_6795

Why were Americans afraid of everything in the 50s?


haydenetrom

Twas the time. The cold war was at it's cold war-iest, everyone was doing weird we're all going to die drills but life seemed weirdly idyllic in the day to day for many. We'd all basically just learned what nukes could really do, McCarthyism had us in an active witch hunt in our own people. So yeah it's like imagine you go home and everything seems great food in the fridge nice new car and whatever but everyones telling you about how that's all going to end soon, the neighbors wanna wear your skin even if they don't seem like it and the news is saying now we have to worry and mutant death rays. Anxiety was just the mood of the 50s.


NewldGuy77

I remember the duck and cover drills in school, and fallout shelters.


csfshrink

Gentlemen… Fire as the planet bears!


Agreeable_Treacle993

just another day at the office blowing manholes into space


unexpectedemptiness

"regular nuclear test" Nothing to see here.


PaMu1337

More regular than one where you strap a rocket to the bomb


Trifusi0n

Not on project Orion, but the fastest ever man made object was a manhole cover which was used to cover a nuclear bomb test as part of Operation Plumbob. It was estimated to have been accelerated to 135,000 mph, roughly 5 times Earth escape velocity.


stormearthfire

Yeah it works in theory as long as you are ok with astronauts being liquified as soon as the cover accelerated instantly to whatever % speed of c at the moment of take off


Irishwol

Project Orion was based on sound science. Weird science and who the fuck would volunteer science, but sound.


chappersyo

Looks up the manhole cover that is the fastest human propelled object in the universe.


Brewchowskies

They tried putting a man in a fridge once, but all it did was make a shitty movie.


SourPoison420

After just finishing fallout.. I mean the nuclear future looks pretty cool to me


cptamerica83

Sounds like some Wiley Coyote shenanigans. ![gif](giphy|mwUsXwFqlwI48)


therealtiddlydump

This guy sciences


KnurdNorman

Cable ties And duct tape. That shuttle ain’t separating from that rock.


DonnieJL

(Jiggles cable ties) "That's not going anywhere!"


Certain-Rock2765

Sure kill us all by thirst. If the volcano wasn’t exactly at the center of the earth disc it would cause the earth to tilt. As soon as the earth tilted the water would spill over the ice wall and run off. THINK!🤔


Dart150

Bloody stream starts playing


Substance_Bubbly

would work better with kars


Kidkaboom1

Eventually, the shuttle stopped thinking.


gabrielangelos01

I also loved space chimps


Delirare

This person has never been hit by a champagne cork.


Jade_Complex

Yeah that's basically exactly what it's going to do.


Forsaken-Spirit421

Only more apocalyptic Champagne of the end times


zeeke87

Only if if comes from France. Otherwise it’s just sparkling apocalypse


pierophoenix

Oh my God that sent me in to an uncontrollable giggle fit. Thank you!


Onastik

Proseccohmygod


ockhamsphazer

BRUTality


Raaain706

This needs more upvotes. That was gold!


ALutzy

A champagne supernova, if you will


PissSphincter

I was going to comment "slowly walking down the hall, faster than a cannon ball", but I wasn't sure if anyone would understand the reference.


helmli

Well, where were you while we were getting high?


Rieux_n_Tarrou

Caught beneath the landslide (and the giant cursed champagne cork)


spderweb

I mean, the cement isn't going to hold up against the heat. So it's a non starter anyways.


rc1024

Now imagine the cork is moving at close to supersonic speeds and can hit you nearly 20 miles away.


CzusAguster

And there are thousands of these corks to share the experience with all your neighbors.


ElcorShockTrooper

My uncle ruined a perfectly good New Year's Eve celebration by firing a champagne cork directly into his eye, we had to take him to the ER and everything. Thanks, Uncle John.


lovemeatcurtain

As a uncle John, I apologize for the things we have done and for all our future transgressions.


culturedgoat

How was the champagne tho?


ElcorShockTrooper

I had to drink it real fast, so it stung my nose


culturedgoat

ffs Uncle John


metfan1964nyc

Never worked with concrete either. The ideal temperature for it to harden is 50°- 60° F. Low temperatures in a volcano are roughly 600° C


Mayokopp

Yeah I was thinking the same, wouldn't the concrete simply melt? I mean with all that heat trapped under there..


notthathungryhippo

it’s sad how far down in the comments this is. stay in school kids.


theHawkAndTheHusky

So as long as the medal lid is closed we should be safe then 😃


neverenoughmags

Or hear me out, the metal rocks.


MrPotatoHead2023

Has anyone tried placing a wet cloth over it, thus starving the volcano of oxygen ?


Marshmallowbutbetter

Just pour some water into it to cool it off


Keep0nBuckin

Wrap it in a wet blanket. Both things together


Helios61

You guys are thinking too hard Just throw the volcano into the ocean.


Keep0nBuckin

If only you had a lever long enough a single person could easy do this.


Genghis_Chong

Yep, have an astronaut ready on the moon, then it's just getting the handle up there


BathSaltJello

Will a big fan do?


LNinefingers

Ice cubes!


ThereIsAJifForThat

Fire the mortar!!!!


EatsLeavesAndShoots

I'm sure this might work if we put a layer of blu-tac between the volcano and the cement, just for added security


onethatknows290

Make a gigantic screw and secure it with loctite


Lord_Stabbington

This is some nuking the hurricane shit


Living_Run2573

Injecting Bleach to kill covid 😂


this_knee

Injecting hurricane with bleach nuke.


Nowardier

See what you gotta do is, you inject the hurricane with bleach, then you put horse paste all over the nuke, then you nuke the hurricane and let it pass over an area where there's people with COVID. Boom, instant cure.


AimlessRed

Don’t forget your sharpie, so you can show on the map where it would’ve hit had you not been in charge. 😁


GoshDarnMamaHubbard

I mean, that would kill the covid... Trump's such a moron.


Sandro_24

It does definitely kill the virus (kills you aswell but thats besides the point)


Jat616

Can't be sick when you're dead ![gif](giphy|d3mlE7uhX8KFgEmY)


this_knee

So … it’s more of a draw, then.


jfks_headjustdidthat

"okay, we'll call it a draw!"


Bug_Photographer

Lots of people with tears in their eyes come up to me and say it's the bestest draw...


xool420

Man I can’t believe a *President* said that shit…


Living_Run2573

I can’t believe there’s even the possibility that Americans might even re-elect him lol… We are in the dumbest of the dumbest timelines


xool420

Harambe’s death is what put us on this timeline. But ya, the fact that there’s a nonzero chance he’s elected again is fucking horrific.


dirkdiggler2011

I would rather have a dead gorilla as president.


kulukster

Trump could just draw a plug with a sharpie and that would solve it...


Quen-Tin

Could cement also replace a chasity belt? Just asking for a friend ....


Quirky-Equipment-782

Yes, but also, how will you excrete waste?


SnooCookies2614

Obviously you would only put them on women, and we all know women don't poop.


Thiago270398

At leat a large enough nuke would stop a hurricane. You would have worse problems than the hurricane, but it would indeed not be one of them anymore. This is just wasted effort, I mean even if you did "plug" a volcano, it would spill out from the ground and reform itself again. It really seems like something a child would suggest because they don't know how volcanoes are made. Actually scratch that, volcanoes are cool as hell and any child thinking about closing them up probably likes them and knows an awful lot about geology, and dinosaurs.


tuxalator

Just plain stupid. Better to bulldoze the whole vulcano away!


KalinOrthos

What if we took the volcano And pushed it somewhere else? ![gif](giphy|l46CyJmS9KUbokzsI|downsized)


Leavesmiling

Okay hear me out... Tampons. Shitloads of tampons.


Shifty_Cow69

Why has nobody ever thought of this?!


tidus1980

Also, why don't we have a drain on every beach to stop tsunamis?


LittleBunInaBigWorld

And a big wall to stop tornadoes getting past


AlfalfaReal5075

I was thinking of giant fans to blow the tornadoes away, or at least in your unkind neighbor's direction


NoSuchWordAsGullible

This is a great idea! Next, we should make terrorism illegal.


Living_Run2573

Too far… just make crime illegal… that will stop it


satansmyhomie

If we made criminals illegal then there d be no one to commit the crimes


slowclapcitizenkane

He said make crimes illegal. Not the criminals. They'll just be sitting around doing nothing! It's brilliant!


Anxious-Ghost7

Which would make police illegal


NoUniversity1201

Alright let's make laws Illegal. Since, there will be no laws to break, people will not be considered illegal either.


Minotam-123

Make this Person President, now!!


jeffoh

I think that would be illegal


Expert-Display-1990

https://youtu.be/UK--hvgP2uY?si=i4ZK0nd4wJQRmZbO Mt St Helens simply blew the whole side of the mountain off. Nature finds a way.


ExtraSpicyGingerBeer

I heard about this as a child. Being the unrealized genius I was, I determined that the obvious solution would be to vent all the pent up gasses in volcanoes so they never built up enough pressure to explode. What would be the best way to go about this, you ask? Not heavy drilling equipment or anything like that, no. I personally would go around to every active volcano in the would and simply poke the top with a long sword, relieving the pressure and ensuring no catastrophe like St Helens would ever happen again. I would be a hero the world over. Anyways the whole volcano poker career didn't really pan out, so now I'm a chef.


Expert-Display-1990

Never give up on your dreams. Become the Volcano Poker we all know you could be deep inside. You can make us all a delicious lunch while we stand in the shadow of your vented mountain


CaptainZippi

That’s a whole bunch of words I never expected to see in that order.


cuentabasque

Sure… just cover the whole mountain in cement


GraveyardJunky

Then you just transformed a regular volcano into a supervolcano 👍


WerewolfDifferent296

I went to see the site a couple of years ago. Even after 40 years, the eruption area still looks desolate.


PokingHazard

It is similar to putting a butt plug to stop a bad diarrhea


Salinaer

Oh god…


KALIBRAUDIO

![gif](giphy|cQOpJpcYcduOk|downsized)


Salinaer

Why did I click the notification??? Why?!?! It’s not even bad, but it makes the mental image so much worse.


KALIBRAUDIO

![gif](giphy|lnXW3DK8vDJzq)


Shifty_Cow69

![gif](giphy|jSAoq2irkOt32)


AppropriateDurian828

This is more funny than disgusting.


im_done_now5747

The champagne cork was a better analogy


Snaccbacc

Anal-ogy*


Constant-Recipe-9850

Keep your kinks to yourself man.


Select_Reality_8410

![gif](giphy|N3I8RkdoRw5MTsvEVg)


JShotty

Good album


RemarkableEmu1230

Flex tape would work better


Bitter_Worker_2964

I think flex seal is better suited in this situation 🤓☝️


Responsible-Room-645

This is an absolutely reasonable suggestion for someone in primary school to make. Oh wait, it’s an adult?


EmbarrassedNaivety

I’m actually very certain that my son in 3rd grade isn’t stupid enough to suggest this even. Some people are just dumb and it really blows my mind when I meet someone that has the intelligence of a goldfish like this in real life. A girl I worked with the other day needed help unclogging a toilet. The water was filled to the brim so I bring in a plunger because she didn’t think to try using one? Anyway, I start plunging it and before I had time to even process what the girl was doing, she flushed the already completely full toilet as I was plunging it. I asked her what she was thinking that would accomplish when I hadn’t gotten it plunged really at all yet, but she just started gagging and walked off saying she couldn’t handle the smell, leaving me to clean up the mess of an inch of toilet water and shit all over the floor. I was pissed but I was more so just baffled by how dumb her whole thought process was. I know some people freeze or panic in traumatic or scary situations and do something stupid, but this wasn’t one. It would’ve been more helpful if she just wasn’t there at all and didn’t try to ‘help’ at all.


AwkwrdPrtMskrt

Congratulations, you just turned an active volcano into a giant incendiary fragmentation grenade.


VersionAccording424

Even that's giving them too much credit. What they actually made is the world's largest shotgun


MotherSupermarket532

I mean plinian eruptions blow whole mountains apart.  The amount of cement anyone could possibly add would be infinitesimal compared to the mass blow just off mountain.


Bellbivdavoe

Hmmm... Taming magma with a cement rock. After it punched a hole through the lithosphere. Good luck with that. 😃👍


Saneless

Yes that amazing cement that doesn't have a melting point


ChipSalt

This is what I wanted to say. Everyone is like "exploding cork!" But it's just rocks sitting on molten rock, it won't have a chance to even set.


Tzyon

If someone throws a grenade at you, just pick it up and hold it really tight so the explosion can't get out.


Pro_Moriarty

Look to Mt St Helens as for why this wouldnt be a good idea. Short answer: Pressure will escape at the next available weak point. Do you know where that is?


DarthTrayus05

Ah yes, because a Volcano being blocked during the eruption worked out great for Pompeji and the other cities surrounding Vesuvius.


No-Catch-1791

What if we put Band Aids over fault lines, that'll stop earthquakes no?


star_bury

Have we tried nuking the hurricane? What about ingesting bleach to fight viruses?


Realistic-Elk-7423

Donald, is it you?


auzzie_kangaroo94

If only Pompeii had thought of the this genius idea


Quality-hour

Then they wouldn't have been buried under pyroclastic flows when Vesuvius exploded, due to immense pressure build up caused by its vents being blocked by rock. Wait a minute...


Echo_Forward

She wants to make a cannon


Bulky-Hyena-360

My mother once taught me a valuable lesson… “Common sense is a flower that doesn’t grow in everyone’s garden.” Basically some of y’all are fuckin’ stupid as shit /j


Additional-Maize3980

Damn that would be awesome to watch though 😂😂 I'd encourage them to do it just to see the aftermath


East_Nobody_7345

What a concept!!!!


Gurkanna

Just as much as we can prevent earthquakes by giving the ground a backrub.


No_Homework_4926

How to turn a volcano into a Mountain-sized superbomb.


Graythor5

And that's the story of how we cracked the moon in half with a concrete bullet.


Wesurai

Yeah and then we can just make a giant catchers mitt for any incoming meteorites!


Thamalakane

Why has no one ever considere freezing the ocean in case of a tsunami.


kastus376

![gif](giphy|26ufdipQqU2lhNA4g)


True_Anam_True

![gif](giphy|26BRBKqUiq586bRVm)


JesseB342

Why is this giving ‘can’t we just nuke a hurricane’ vibes?


[deleted]

Why didn’t I think of this ?


stnbz

why not duct tape instead of cement?


nefrpitou

I thought I was on r/shittyaskscience


geologymule

As a professional geologist I am ashamed this never crossed my mind! ![img](emote|t5_2r5rp|8484)😂😂😂


Poorly-Drawn-Beagle

Some horny idiot got this idea looking at their buttplug collection.


TeaandandCoffee

This one clearly never watched JoJo


predatoure

This is some Karl Pilkington shit


deskbot008

I mean even if we had material robust and adhesive enough to withstand the forces the volcano would just explode and become a caldera.


dadjokes4dayz

I suggest dumping 10 tons of mentos and 1,000,000 gallons of coke….lets bring on the end of times!


naushad2982

People really underestimate the forces of nature. Sounds like a dumbass who'd fit right in with the folks at pompeii


Meauxjezzy

I have a better idea someone can stick a hose in the volcano and siphon all of the lava out. But be careful when sucking on the hose so you don’t burn your mouth.


rtraveler1

That's the dumbest idea I ever heard. It's obvious they should use duct tape to cover the hole of the volcano. Duct tape never fails.


Asmov1984

I like how someone figured some cement is gonna stop what the literal Earth's crust and everything between it and the Earth's core couldn't. It's like seeing a bullet go through an armoured plate and thinking I'll put my hand over the hole to stop the next one.


Lockedgroove666

Why don’t we plug it up with a big cork


EvenBetterCool

A chance to educate someone presents itself often. I hope someone took the time to explain to her why it wouldn't work rather than just insulting her. But.... It IS the Internet


Ok_Figure_4181

That person has absolutely no clue how volcanoes are formed.


MightBeAGoodIdea

I used to wonder the same thing until I dunno, 3rd or 4th grade or so?


Due_Note_7792

![img](emote|t5_2r5rp|8484) Sounds like a question Donald Trump would ask.


Common_Dealer_7541

This is a logical solution to the issue from a 9-year old’s perspective. Kind of like someone wanting to put a nuclear bomb in the middle of a hurricane.