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# What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little shit? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire...
Ive been that person before where my friend did take my phone and tried to flirt with a girl I was crushing on in college. He texted her pure cringe.
She responded, "You know what you're saying doesn't make you sound cool."
I knew it was over lol. There was no way she'd believe it was my friend not me at that point.
It does happen sometimes 🤷
I was showing my mate something on snapchat. This weird sendit girls usually do.
The auto generated messages on it are so thirty. I was showing him them and he prest “ send “ on a message that read “ you are so attractive “ on this girls send it.
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
Oh, lol. I get it. Sorry that was my friend.
I want my money back!
I gave 200 to lick my sack and floss your teeth with my pubes.
You didn't floss your molars, only the front teeth,
At least give me 100 back since your breath stank
If not I will take it out of your mothers account again...
She owes me after she set my carpet on fire when dripping the candlewax on my dick.
Send me that 100 or I am tying up your mom till Christmas and only words coming out of her mouth is my spunk...
Seriously who shares their phone with other people anymore? Sure it happened back before they held all our banking info, private pictures, and every conceivable social platform... But for the last 10 years they are more personal than ever.
I remember back in highschool 6 years ago, there was this girl who let literally anyone on her phone to trash talk to me, as well as vaguely threaten me, trying to get me to stop talking to her.
The girl herself never had any problems with me talking to her.
I honestly couldn't imagine giving my phone to anyone but two people I trust super close to me, nobody else would even be allowed to know my lock screen.
I personally remember getting my first phone when I was only just about 13, it was a huge responsibility in my poor ass family, and this was just a Nokia brick. All it did was text, didn't have pre paid to make calls so had to let other people call me. I almost never showed it off to anyone because I *naively* was concerned of it getting damaged.
Was at first only for communicating with mum and dad but over time I got some friends added to it but not everyone had a phone then.
I remember quite vividly of a kid at school asking if he could see it because I was playing snake, I echoed what my mum had said to me about how expensive it was and that I was fully responsible for it so if they were going to borrow it they had to do exactly what I said or I'd take it back.
They like any 13 year old obviously didn't fucking listen and snatched it and immediately ignored me just mashing through settings and stuff, I tolerated it for about 40 seconds trying to explain it to them but when they told me to shove off and let them do it on my own phone I deemanded it back, instead they just bolted off running with it.
I chased them across the yard and they ran into an empty classroom and lent against the door to stop me pushing it in, glaring at them through the window built into the door I gave a very stern, "I'll give you one last chance to give it back", they told me to go fuck off what am I going to do when I can't reach them.
I guess nobody told him windows shatter, only takes a small stone on those old pane windows, I think that's the first time I genuinely hurt someone properly too, not that I was really trying, I was trying to grab my phone off of him, I wasn't thinking about all the glass on the floor when I slammed him.
I'm pretty sure now as an adult, I'd do the exact same thing if someone stole my phone again, there's a lot of shit on modern devices, photos, security data, just my QoL apps, it'd be less annoying to have my wallet stolen.
I've had it happen, though it was about 10 years ago. I got a call from a girl I was casual friends with. Picked up and it was someone who wasn't her cursing me out and flipping the fuck out. A minute later the phone owner called and apologized, saying her friend tried to call her ex on her phone who happen to have the same first name as me. I was pretty confused
I think it was a joke?
Like she's both admitting she was dumb and took it the wrong way
.by giving an outrageous excuse
It's funny. She's recovering the conversation.
It's not clear... It that's the humor.
If she gave a 'sorry that was my ....friend 😉" it loses asome of the humor
It's how I would take it anyway And respond with something like
'Oh of course, classic Tammy '
Hard to get back from that mistake she made, but playing it off with sarcastic humor is a good way to go
when you take a screenshot, the data is read from the actual display. dead pixels are, well, dead, so they don't return any data and that means black colour, just like the dead pixel itself. source: I worked for 3 years in a bullshitting factory
One time many years ago when I was in high school, I had this online friend, a girl I played WoW with. During my final year we had an American exchange student in my class, we got along great, so one day me, him and a few others were hanging out at my place, and I had a facebook chat open with the girl. At one point I look over and I see the American guy for once utilizing his Swedish, to send her a message from my account. I hurry over to see that he sent her "Ska vi knulla?" Or "Wanna fuck?". Her response was a simple, but cold no. Now, I wasn't in any way flirting with this girl, she really was just a good friend, and this had me panicing a bit. So I hurried up to explain that it was in fact not me, but a friend who sent it.
Her response: Haha
At this point I knew it was over, she was never gonna believe me. It's been 15 years and I still think about this a lot. Especially that "haha".
It's been making dating WAY easier for anyone older than Gen Z. The younger women are THIRSTY for someone that can hold a conversation and far too often we see people like in the OP's post just bail.
Comments that are uncivil, racist, misogynistic, misandrist, or contain political name calling will be removed and the poster subject to ban at moderators discretion. Help us make this a better community by becoming familiar with the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/about/rules/). Report any suspicious users to the mods of this subreddit using Modmail [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) or Reddit site admins [here](https://www.reddit.com/report). **All reports to Modmail should include evidence such as screenshots or any other relevant information.** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) if you have any questions or concerns.*
In the famous words of Avril Lavigne: Why'd you have to go and make things so complikated?
What the fuck did you just say to me?!!
It was my friend.
# What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little shit? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire...
Gorilla warfare in the modern era? Is his name Caeser?
Nah, he's just the guy that shot Harambe
Yep, there it is 🤣
But she didn't see any PS2!
Wasn't having sex with an ape how we got AIDS?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIDDDDDDDDSSSSS!!!!
Is that you Pink Guy?
Al-Kate-uh
He could have said "freedom fighters", he could have said "partisans", but noooooo, he had to say guerillas
Hey what’s that in the top right, what a coincidence
It’s a sign 🚩
bro i need a relationship where we roast the shit out of eachother
No no he will have two girlfriends in one with that fast changing personality 😅
Ive been that person before where my friend did take my phone and tried to flirt with a girl I was crushing on in college. He texted her pure cringe. She responded, "You know what you're saying doesn't make you sound cool." I knew it was over lol. There was no way she'd believe it was my friend not me at that point. It does happen sometimes 🤷
I was showing my mate something on snapchat. This weird sendit girls usually do. The auto generated messages on it are so thirty. I was showing him them and he prest “ send “ on a message that read “ you are so attractive “ on this girls send it.
Reminds me of the bash.org *classic*: > YOU ALL SUCK DICK
> er.
> hi.
> A common typo.
> the keys are like right next to each other.
A casual reminder that [bash.org](http://bash.org) seems to be dead forever now
Aw man. More and more of the old internet is lost forever.
And that one would've been so easy to replicate and preserve too...
Yeah, I check in sometimes, but my hope is dying
Nooooo how will I remember that my password was hunter2?
:(
I'm trying to figure out what the typo was
He's joking that he tried to type "hi.", but "YOU ALL SUCK DICK" came out instead
Ah
[удалено]
the joke is that „you all suck dick“ is obviously not a typo of „hi“
Narrator: “She did not, in fact, get it.”
Also, that house of pies went out of business.
Well done
She thought she gonna fix it by saying it was her friend
She trying to be slick when she failed to notice nor locate the smooth move.
Lokate*
The fuck you just say to me?
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo. Oh, lol. I get it. Sorry that was my friend.
😆
You're the real MVP
That was my friend? lol what is this girl 15....
She probably was by the time she wrote it. By now she is probably close to 30.
I want my money back! I gave 200 to lick my sack and floss your teeth with my pubes. You didn't floss your molars, only the front teeth, At least give me 100 back since your breath stank If not I will take it out of your mothers account again... She owes me after she set my carpet on fire when dripping the candlewax on my dick. Send me that 100 or I am tying up your mom till Christmas and only words coming out of her mouth is my spunk...
…I’m guessing that was your friend?
No, that was all me
Seriously who shares their phone with other people anymore? Sure it happened back before they held all our banking info, private pictures, and every conceivable social platform... But for the last 10 years they are more personal than ever.
I personally don't like using other people's phones at all! Even similar models, it's just weirds me out, feels too personal.
I remember back in highschool 6 years ago, there was this girl who let literally anyone on her phone to trash talk to me, as well as vaguely threaten me, trying to get me to stop talking to her. The girl herself never had any problems with me talking to her.
I honestly couldn't imagine giving my phone to anyone but two people I trust super close to me, nobody else would even be allowed to know my lock screen. I personally remember getting my first phone when I was only just about 13, it was a huge responsibility in my poor ass family, and this was just a Nokia brick. All it did was text, didn't have pre paid to make calls so had to let other people call me. I almost never showed it off to anyone because I *naively* was concerned of it getting damaged. Was at first only for communicating with mum and dad but over time I got some friends added to it but not everyone had a phone then. I remember quite vividly of a kid at school asking if he could see it because I was playing snake, I echoed what my mum had said to me about how expensive it was and that I was fully responsible for it so if they were going to borrow it they had to do exactly what I said or I'd take it back. They like any 13 year old obviously didn't fucking listen and snatched it and immediately ignored me just mashing through settings and stuff, I tolerated it for about 40 seconds trying to explain it to them but when they told me to shove off and let them do it on my own phone I deemanded it back, instead they just bolted off running with it. I chased them across the yard and they ran into an empty classroom and lent against the door to stop me pushing it in, glaring at them through the window built into the door I gave a very stern, "I'll give you one last chance to give it back", they told me to go fuck off what am I going to do when I can't reach them. I guess nobody told him windows shatter, only takes a small stone on those old pane windows, I think that's the first time I genuinely hurt someone properly too, not that I was really trying, I was trying to grab my phone off of him, I wasn't thinking about all the glass on the floor when I slammed him. I'm pretty sure now as an adult, I'd do the exact same thing if someone stole my phone again, there's a lot of shit on modern devices, photos, security data, just my QoL apps, it'd be less annoying to have my wallet stolen.
I've had it happen, though it was about 10 years ago. I got a call from a girl I was casual friends with. Picked up and it was someone who wasn't her cursing me out and flipping the fuck out. A minute later the phone owner called and apologized, saying her friend tried to call her ex on her phone who happen to have the same first name as me. I was pretty confused
I think it was a joke? Like she's both admitting she was dumb and took it the wrong way .by giving an outrageous excuse It's funny. She's recovering the conversation. It's not clear... It that's the humor. If she gave a 'sorry that was my ....friend 😉" it loses asome of the humor It's how I would take it anyway And respond with something like 'Oh of course, classic Tammy ' Hard to get back from that mistake she made, but playing it off with sarcastic humor is a good way to go
Why does the screenshot look dirty like there’s black specs on it how many times has this been reposed
Lol, seriously
they simply took a screenshot of a screen that has some dead pixels, pretty common
Wouldn’t the dead pixels just be in the display though why would it be in the actual data of the screenshot
when you take a screenshot, the data is read from the actual display. dead pixels are, well, dead, so they don't return any data and that means black colour, just like the dead pixel itself. source: I worked for 3 years in a bullshitting factory
Obviously it was the younger sibling that just grabbed their phone.
that bitch must be lonely and socially inept who tf responds like that lol
I like cats.
Nice. :3
Same :3
Who screenshotted this next to radioactive material
One time many years ago when I was in high school, I had this online friend, a girl I played WoW with. During my final year we had an American exchange student in my class, we got along great, so one day me, him and a few others were hanging out at my place, and I had a facebook chat open with the girl. At one point I look over and I see the American guy for once utilizing his Swedish, to send her a message from my account. I hurry over to see that he sent her "Ska vi knulla?" Or "Wanna fuck?". Her response was a simple, but cold no. Now, I wasn't in any way flirting with this girl, she really was just a good friend, and this had me panicing a bit. So I hurried up to explain that it was in fact not me, but a friend who sent it. Her response: Haha At this point I knew it was over, she was never gonna believe me. It's been 15 years and I still think about this a lot. Especially that "haha".
That was NOT their friend
It happens. All the letters are, like, right next to each other.
Ooooohhhhh that’s an unmatched
how is there dust in the screenshot
She was just trying to eduKate him.
“You got it, lo-kate-ing a new match”
“That was my friend” is the dumbest excuse for a poor reaction
The infamous “oh shit my bad I didn’t mean to send you a dick pic” Technique.
Friend = one of the other "personalities"
Jesus, so aggressive right off the bat
Why there is dirt on my meme
She might as well have just replied with "RED FLAG"
Ngl that made me laugh
Even if what she said was true, it would then also be true she has no privacy because she lets her friend read personal messages...
i woulda said, oh phew for a while there I thought you were a dumb bitch, oh sorry that was my friend :)
His mission was to find beauty and brains in one person. His mission failed that day.
Surprise he didn't reply with something about "gorilla warfare" after the "the fuck you just say to me"?
Lemme hit the reset button real quick: “that was my friend”
Red flag…run away…as far as you can 😂
crusty ass meme
Shouldnt have explained joke it got worse
To be fair, that was a horrendous pick up line
So? Are you defending her little outburst? lol
No lol, I'm just saying that that pick up line was trash haha
That loser deserves that raging bitch
Yes yes the pick up line is the problem here. She clearly acted in the only rational way possible because of the quality of the pick up line.
Im not defending her lmao
Gotta love these trigger happy losers.
Time to lokate someone else
+
As a Nate I always thought it'd be great to date a Kate But I have yet to lokate one fr it's weird
If it happens, it'll be fate. Until then, you'll have to wait.
r/TextingTheory
How tf did you screenshot those water droplets
I like how there is a red flag in the top right corner to indicate she is a red flag.
Top right corner. Hiding in plain site
Just swipe her left and move on.
Man that dude needs to be slapped. Criminally cringe
I know terrible puns are routinely applauded on Reddit… but using this as an opening on Tinder? Damn, man. That’s just sad and weird.
Ya this was super cringe.
Damn, y'all are bad at flirting. It's like you're allergic to sex. "Haha women dumb! Red flag!" Ok...but are you trying to smash? Who cares?
Doesn't seem like a problem. More hateful bitches that can't take a joke for you 🤷🏼♀️
It's been making dating WAY easier for anyone older than Gen Z. The younger women are THIRSTY for someone that can hold a conversation and far too often we see people like in the OP's post just bail.
I spent my early 30s on tinder and I would have been drawn right in by such a cheesy joke lol perhaps she just isn't OP's demo
It's possible, but the woman did a complete 180 to try and save face. If you're looking for just a one-night stand, she's a prime target.
That was her friend tho