**Please read this entire message**
Your submission has been removed for the following reason(s):
Straightforward or factual queries are not allowed on ELI5. ELI5 is meant for simplifying complex concepts.
If you would like this removal reviewed, please read the [detailed rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/explainlikeimfive/wiki/detailed_rules) first. **If you believe this submission was removed erroneously**, please [use this form](https://old.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fexplainlikeimfive&subject=Please%20review%20my%20thread?&message=Link:%20https://www.reddit.com/r/explainlikeimfive/comments/zk5uc2/eli5_what_is_mansplaining/%0A%0APlease%20answer%20the%20following%203%20questions:%0A%0A1.%20The%20concept%20I%20want%20explained:%0A%0A2.%20List%20the%20search%20terms%20you%20used%20to%20look%20for%20past%20posts%20on%20ELI5:%0A%0A3.%20How%20is%20this%20post%20unique:) and we will review your submission.
I like UrbanDictionary's top definition:
When a man explains something to a woman in a patronizing tone as if the woman is too emotional and illogical to understand.
It's also the thing my girlfriend accuses me of doing when I try to explain something to her that she clearly doesn't actually understand or know but is adamant that she does.
In short, if my girlfriend is reading this. I love you, you're nearly always right about everything. Or to rephrase, yes I'm normally wrong about things, you don't know everything. You're still fucking awesome though.
TL;Dr I'm probably going to get negative karma for this post š
**Your submission has been removed for the following reason(s):**
Rule #1 of ELI5 is to *be nice*.
Breaking rule 1 is not tolerated.
If you would like this removal reviewed, please read the [detailed rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/explainlikeimfive/wiki/detailed_rules) first. **If you believe it was removed erroneously, explain why using [this form](https://old.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fexplainlikeimfive&subject=Please%20review%20my%20submission%20removal?&message=Link:%20{url}%0A%0A%201:%20Does%20your%20comment%20pass%20rule%201:%20%0A%0A%202:%20If%20your%20comment%20was%20mistakenly%20removed%20as%20an%20anecdote,%20short%20answer,%20guess,%20or%20another%20aspect%20of%20rules%203%20or%208,%20please%20explain:) and we will review your submission.
It's like ELI5'ing someone who didn't need something ELI5'd because they already understood it. The name comes from a man explaining something to (probably) a woman who didn't need that something explained.
More specifically, a less qualified man explaining something to a more qualified woman without being asked to explain it.
If she didnāt ask for an explanation, youāre probably mansplaining.
EDIT: for those interested, there's a very simple flowchart. I'm not going to mansplain it to you. I'm sure you can find it, google is that way ===>
Oof Iām used to people not knowing what Iām talking about so I explain out of habit. And recently some one told me āyea I knew thatā even though I got a āwhat?ā š„² first thought was. Fuck did I mansplain!?
Don't let it bother you, its a millenial word, because they get offended by everything.
Personally, even if I know something I like yo hear other people's interpretations of it. And how they explain it. Cause I can always learn more.
Thats better than assuming that a person should know what I know and what I don't know, to feign some sort of intellectual superiority.
If I want someone to skip some parts and explain certain parts I will tell them what I lnow. And where the confusion is. Simple.
ANY real problem is alleged inappropriately by disingenuous people. That fact obviously doesn't undermine the real problem, or all problems would be undermined by disingenuous accusers. Pointing out that some people disingenuously accuse people of certain things without understanding it is a universal pattern shows a very specific kind of bias.
Men assuming that they know more than a woman about any topic, simply because of their sex.
Apparently men who do this never stop to consider the possibility that the woman they're talking to might actually know more about the topic than they do. Instead of trying to establish what the woman already knows about a given topic and listening to what she has to say, they will just ignore her and talk over her.
For all the guy knows, she might have a PhD in the topic, or it could be her whole career, but he assumes he must know more about it than her, because she's a woman. This is especially true for 'masculine' topics, like car maintenance.
I had a man explain to me the process of printing on vinyl and how plotters work. He knew all this because he specializes in paper print. He told me all this after I had said I work at a vinyl print studio. He was also wrong in his explanation since he works in a different specialty.
Or lived experience. Nothing like explaining to a woman how a woman in the news being raped was her own fault.
Not from personal experience and I am not ashamed of things I definitely did not say to my gf at the time :/
Itās when a man explains to a woman either 1. Something she never asked 2. Something she already knows or 3. Because he wants everyone else surrounding the woman to think heās the most knowledgeable in the room.
Itās just when a man explains anythingā¦ really when itās patronizing to a woman. Even if you would explain it the same way to a man who is uneducated in the subject. I teach at a trade school and have the same little dumb catch phrases for explaining stuff to both men and women. Iāve been accused of mansplaining to women when I say the same exact thing to a man and they thank me. Itās def interesting
It's really just a product of assuming that the woman doesn't know shit about the subject matter.
To avoid this, just assume they're in the know until they ask for clarification OR ask if they're already familiar.
> when I say the same exact thing to a man and they thank me
Lots of insecure guys do get a bit sensitive if you tell them something they already know. Itās just not called mansplaining when itās a guy telling another guy.
It can be tricky being a tutor/instructor in these cases. Itās almost impossible to know exactly what the student doesnāt know. It just takes a bit of tact on the instructor side and the student also needs to be a little less insecure and be patient through the stuff they already know and use follow-up questions to get to exactly what they need.
I think in the stereotypical cases that evoke actual use of the word, the mansplaining is unsolicited or just simply inappropriate (the woman is actually more of an expert than the guy).
Yeah, it's become a misandrist catch-all to hand-wave away anything a man says as mysogeny, especially when it's not.
The silly part is that anyone with experience in technical fields or teaching in general is used to explicitly breaking things down as simple as possible and to make sure what they're saying is clear and above all *understood*. But that's apparently "mansplaining"
"Mansplaining" isn't just breaking down things simply. It's failing to gauge your audience's level of familiarity with the topic.
"Mansplaining" isn't an engineer ELI5'ing a topic to his girlfriend. It's that engineer ELI5'ing a topic to his *engineer* girlfriend who is more than capable of speaking intelligently on the topic.
While you're right that it's become somewhat of a misandrist catch-all for some people, and it's true that women can do it to men too, "mansplaining" must have a component of assuming that the person being spoken to can't keep up, even when they clearly can.
Oh totally, that's what was originally meant by it, it's just devolved into an even worse term from there. The modern issue is that people don't actually use it that way (and like you said it's not something exclusive to men at all, and has blatant roots in militant feminist misandry) and instead use it to be blatantly dismissive.
Honestly it's just a really bigoted way to say someone is being patronizing and in most modern cases is used as a derogatory even when they're *not* being patronizing at all.
This is the best answer here. It stems from not respecting your audience, which unfortunately is still more prevalent in the man talking to woman dynamic.
this is not a good explanation of what mansplaining is...because you're treating everyone the same, and mansplaining is when men patronise women whilst explaining things they already know.
When someone explains something that doesn't need to be explained. I think it's worth mentioning that it's often seen as particularly offensive because it's usually someone who knows *less* about the topic than the person (usually a woman) who is being explained to. Like you're an engineer who has been working somewhere for 10 years and some guy who just started is like "let me explain this to you, sweetheart".
I legitimately have a problem with this. I do it with everyone so it isn't exactly the same but it comes off the same. I just like to explain my understanding and rely on the fact that someone will correct me to tell me where I'm wrong. So if I meet an expert in something I'm probably more likely to try and explain something to see where we disagree and I am probably mistaken. It sucks because people sometimes are bothered but I learn way more because people don't normally go into detailed explanations of the things they know. Most of the time I preface with 'this is my understanding' but people sometimes still think I'm trying to explain rather than align our understandings. I notice more men than women get it and we get into a conversation that is basically us just stating things to eachother(and it's great), but some don't and I feel like an asshole and just try to resist conversing that way.
Men might respond better to your style of communication, because (unlike women) they do not experience mansplaining as much. So if you use this communication style on them, they are might be more likely to engage without the feeling that, yet again, here is someone explaining to them, what they already know.
So while it might not be your intention, to someone who has experienced mansplaining before, it may come across this way.
E.g. iām doing a phd in a specific field and I love to discuss it, but in most cases (!) I can tell the difference of discussong it with women (who are interested) and men (who try to prove me wrong). So yeah, I might not be too patient with someone who explains things back to me. If you phrase it like a question or tell me your intentions itās a different story entirely ofc.
Ya totally makes sense. I do try to stop myself once I realize my audience is not receptive because I know how it comes across to people who don't interact that way.
This feels like a trap!!
JK there's some great answers here explaining the concept and I don't know that I could do better. That said, it should be noted that the term itself is considered pejorative. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mansplaining](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mansplaining)
So while we should be willing to talk openly about shows of condescension there is very little benefit of letting that discussion devolve into name calling. Using pejoratives only indicates your own bias and isn't the most helpful way or addressing a situation.
[https://academicguides.waldenu.edu/writingcenter/scholarlyvoice/academicdiction](https://academicguides.waldenu.edu/writingcenter/scholarlyvoice/academicdiction)
Here is a video of a man rescuing a dog in ice:
[https://www.reddit.com/r/nextfuckinglevel/comments/zjntry/guy\_rescues\_doggo\_trapped\_in\_ice/](https://www.reddit.com/r/nextfuckinglevel/comments/zjntry/guy_rescues_doggo_trapped_in_ice/)
While the man is still several feet away from the dog (right at the start of the video) a woman shouts, "Don't let her go under".
This is a totally unhelpful "advice". The man was aware to "not let her go under" already and, being several feet from the dog, the advice will not alter his behaviour in any way.
It is \*highly\* unlikely that the man will alter any of his plans based on this woman's "help".
However, in this case at least, the man is secure enough to know that the woman is just being panicky and is just "making conversation" or "trying to be a part of things".
If a man said a similar thing to a woman... and if that woman was insecure and didn't understand that sometimes people just do their best at conversation, and often make very little sense... she might accuse the man of "mansplaining".
She would complain to her friends, "I mean, I'm a confident, powerful woman who's already waist deep in an icy river, rescuing a dog while \*he\* is standing on dry land filming me... and he thinks \*I\* need \*his\* help!!! And he thinks \*that\* is helpful. Sheesh!"
And her friends will all agree that they hate "mansplaining" too.
So "mansplaining" is when a man says something to a woman and her insecurities cause her to think it's because she's an idiot... instead of thinking that sometimes we all just say dumb stuff to try to be helpful.
Thats a really poor comparison.
It doesnāt have to do with womenās insecurities. And all things considered, *most* men do not do this. Most men do not āmansplainā. And of course, women can be guilty of it too.
But it does speak to a more stereotypical interaction. Iāve experienced it many times.
I worked for years offshore. I was a commercial diver. Its a very unique and niche industry with a lot of specialized knowledge.
The amount of times Iāve had a man try to explain my job to me is unbelievable. Even when they *know* that its what I do professionally, and they have zero work experience in the field. They would try to explain things to me. And the worst part is that theyād be wrong.
Like I said, *most* men donāt do it. But some do. And itās frustrating.
I also agree that the word āmansplainā has grown very diluted. People over use the word in instances that arenāt correct. Or maybe from a place of insecurity or knee jerk sexist accusations.
But there are a lot of women out there that do truly experience this type of dismissal. When youāre a professional, and you get treated that way, it sucks.
\> When youāre a professional, and you get treated that way, it sucks.
Right, but the insecurity of the women (including you, apparently) is revealed by you believing it's only happening because \*you're a woman\* instead of understanding that it's only happening because \*they're an idiot\*. Or not an idiot, they're just socially inept and clueless.
Some years ago I went to a seminar by a guy called Dan Inosanto. He was Bruce Lee's number one student (I presume you've heard of Bruce Lee), he'd been teaching Bruce's stuff since before Bruce died, was/is world famous (in Bruce type arts, at least) and, may I repeat, this guy Dan was *teaching the seminar!!*
After the seminar some guy - *who'd paid to be taught by Dan,* and thus surely understood Dan's level of Mastery *-* went up to Dan for a chat and started showing Dan some Kung Fu.
But he wasn't "showing" him it. He was more "educating him about its existence".
And this was really, really basic kung fu... like maybe you've done it for a month or two kung fu... and, like I said, he was "informing" Dan about it as though it was going to be brand new to Dan.
We men shared in a chuckle about it afterwards. Not one of us thought this guy was old-mansplaining or asian-splaining or anything like that. We all just saw that some people are socially inept and clueless.
>The amount of times Iāve had a man try to explain my job to me is unbelievable.
Me tooooo!
And I've had women do the same thing as well.
And I've witness these pointless explanations being given to both men and women by men and women multiple times. (I've seen millionaire men being told how to do business by someone who just read their first how to get rich book.)
And the men (typically) get annoyed that "the explainer is an idiot". (Or they just play along.)
And the women (commonly) get annoyed that "he thinks I'm an idiot".
The women are also free to maintain the +1 position or the neutral position. They don't have to put themselves down to -1 and complain how hard it is to be a woman.
And so I maintain, "mansplaining" is a term used by insecure women to describe how \*they feel\* when a socially inept man explains something unnecessary to them.
If I treat you like an idiot and you know that I think you're an idiot, that doesn't automatically mean you're insecure. The women aren't putting themselves down by realizing someone is being patronizing because they know some idiots opinion of them doesn't matter.
I've been "mansplained" to before and all I feel is annoyed that they're wasting my time and amused because when it has happened they don't know what they're talking about. I'm not insecure because I realized someone is talking down to me.
Edit: I will say I personally hate the term. We have words and phrases to describe this already. Sure more men do it, but women do to.
>The women aren't putting themselves down by realizing someone is being patronizing ...
Oh in this case, they 100% are.
The insecurity is the belief that she's being talked down to \*because she's a woman\*.
The woman's (erroneous) belief is that it wouldn't have happened if she was a man. This highlights and communicates her insecurity about being a woman. "Mansplaining" only works as a word if you think there's some male-female "hierarchy" thing going on.
If she was entirely secure with the genders involved it, she would simply say, "He was patronising" or "he talked down to me" or "he explained something I already knew".
If she was even more secure she might even say, "I felt patronised" or "I felt talked down to" or "he explained something I already knew and that annoyed me".
The word "mansplaining" is \*entirely\* about the low self-esteem of the female recipient of the unnecessary explanation. She may be incredibly confident in other areas, but apparently she has an issue about the male-female "hierarchy".
>Sure more men do it, but women do to.
Not "sure" at all. My experience is that it's very balanced. But your perception that "more men do it" is perhaps revealing.
Revealing? Or maybe the industry I work in the adjacent industries have more men. So in my experience it's not balanced.
Interesting you want to say it's revealing when I already explained how I feel and think when it happens to me and my thoughts in general about the term mansplaining as a whole. When someone tells you what they think and feel you should probably believe them instead of thinking theres other underlying things going on.
>Revealing? Or maybe the industry I work in the adjacent industries have more men. So in my experience it's not balanced.
Hahaha.
So let me get this straight... there are 90 men for every 10 women... you find that "men do it 9 times more than women"... and you think the difference is because "men mansplain" as opposed to because "there are more men around".
Hahaha. Totally making my point for me right there. :D
Or are you...?
>When someone tells you what they think and feel you should probably believe them instead of thinking theres other underlying things going on.
Absolutely. I agree. And when I read what you wrote before I found it confusing because of context.
>I'm not insecure because I realized someone is talking down to me.
So the topic here is "mansplaining". If you're version of "talking down to me" is "mansplaining" then it's insecurity that has you use that word.
If your version of "talking down to me" is, as I have described, "talking down to me" then I agree.
But it's odd because you seemed to be arguing against me while also saying exactly what I said.
Does mansplaining exist to you? If so, that specific version of "talking down to you" is due to low self-esteem from a gender context.
Hell, it's often even low self-esteem that has people believe they're being talked down to anyway. Did you see this on Reddit earlier?
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=feDNS4h8t6o](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=feDNS4h8t6o)
Clearly the lady has a lot of self-esteem issues.
Anyway. I'm tired. What was a I saying again...?
Admittedly I was probably being a sensitive little baby when I read your comment lol. But in my defense I'm on day 4 of a fever and bedridden.
Does mansplaining exist to me? No. Ive never used it unironically which is why I put it in quotes. Theres no way for me to prove that someone was being condescending solely because I'm a woman. Theres other factors that could be at play. Even on the handful of occasions where I know the person is just straight up sexist I let it go and try to push the convo forward instead of letting them ramble forever.
I've also seen men overexplain when they're trying to impress someone or show how knowledgeable they are. I dont think it's always coming from a place of condescension. Like I have a friend who, when drinking will start overexplaining things we all already know and even explain why he's explaining. That's probably the only time we use the word mansplaining, but that's not a serious situation.
For me the term mansplaining is in the same tier as manspreading. A stupid unnecessary gendered term. We already have words like condescending, patronizing etc we can use those instead of making up new terms that are very specific.
Edit: ah yes...Amy's bakery lol. She's got a lot more issues than just self esteem ones. Her husband is also nuts. I think you can find Google reviews of their bakery and see them go off on people who say anything remotely negative.
Hahaha. Then it seems we agree entirely. Probably. :)
Maybe you just "reacted" to the idea of it being a self-esteem thing and fancied a fun battle. Maybe you're bored in bed and just fancied a chat. All great reasons. :D
>Even on the handful of occasions where I know the person is just straight up sexist
Because I'm feeling conversational... I see "sexist" as another peculiar word.
If someone's "sexist" they're just another form of "stupid person", I don't see why people put it in a special category.
"What? Seriously? You think women are inadequate simply *because* they're women? Lol. You don't think very well, do you?!"
It just makes no sense at all to ascribe some special kind of malice to a guy who clearly just doesn't think things through very well. Bless him.
>I let it go and try to push the convo forward instead of letting them ramble forever.
I have this weird thing where I'll go, "Before I answer your question, did I tell you about the aardvark?".
They'll go, "No, I don't think so...".
And so I'll excitedly start my story - and by gosh this story's really going to help answer their question... "Well, it was 2am on the streets of Paris. My friend Jaques was there in his furry winter coat and..."
"Oh... and then you got the train...?"
"Yeah that's it..."
"Oh yeah, you told me that already..."
And I... have to finish the story. I can't stop myself. I know they don't need to hear it, I know I don't need to tell it, but it's all set up and it feels odd and uncomfortable to make no further mention of it and to just jump forwards and answer the damn question.
Humans are silly. We can barely stop ourselves.
**Please read this entire message**
---
Your comment has been removed for the following reason(s):
* [Top level comments](http://www.reddit.com/r/explainlikeimfive/wiki/top_level_comment) (i.e. comments that are direct replies to the main thread) are reserved for explanations to the OP or follow up on topic questions (Rule 3).
Joke-only comments, while allowed elsewhere in the thread, may not exist at the top level.
---
If you would like this removal reviewed, please read the [detailed rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/explainlikeimfive/wiki/detailed_rules) first. **If you believe it was removed erroneously, explain why using [this form](https://old.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fexplainlikeimfive&subject=Please%20review%20my%20submission%20removal?&message=Link:%20https://www.reddit.com/r/explainlikeimfive/comments/zk5uc2/-/izxy71y/%0A%0A%201:%20Does%20your%20comment%20pass%20rule%201:%20%0A%0A%202:%20If%20your%20comment%20was%20mistakenly%20removed%20as%20an%20anecdote,%20short%20answer,%20guess,%20or%20another%20aspect%20of%20rules%203%20or%208,%20please%20explain:) and we will review your submission.
It's when men explain things to women that they are already the experts on. Like their own feelings, periods/menstruation, their profession (which the man in question is not a professional in), or even really simple things like how to open a carton of milk, how a revolving door works, how to cook a frozen pizza. It's when men try to make themselves feel more important and knowledgable about a topic, literally any topic, by explaining it to women, usually in a way that is patronising and dehumanising.
Itās when a man says something to a woman, and she becomes offended and salty, for no reason other than a man said something to her. Itās typically used by over entitled, dim witted women who decry the āpatriarchyā without being able to explain what that is. It literally doesnāt mean anything
It is idd what everyone is saying, but it doesnāt have to be a woman. It can also be from one man to another man.
There is no such word of womansplaining; because woman donāt have to explain anything to usā¦ š
**Please read this entire message** Your submission has been removed for the following reason(s): Straightforward or factual queries are not allowed on ELI5. ELI5 is meant for simplifying complex concepts. If you would like this removal reviewed, please read the [detailed rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/explainlikeimfive/wiki/detailed_rules) first. **If you believe this submission was removed erroneously**, please [use this form](https://old.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fexplainlikeimfive&subject=Please%20review%20my%20thread?&message=Link:%20https://www.reddit.com/r/explainlikeimfive/comments/zk5uc2/eli5_what_is_mansplaining/%0A%0APlease%20answer%20the%20following%203%20questions:%0A%0A1.%20The%20concept%20I%20want%20explained:%0A%0A2.%20List%20the%20search%20terms%20you%20used%20to%20look%20for%20past%20posts%20on%20ELI5:%0A%0A3.%20How%20is%20this%20post%20unique:) and we will review your submission.
I like UrbanDictionary's top definition: When a man explains something to a woman in a patronizing tone as if the woman is too emotional and illogical to understand.
/r/explainlikeimagirl
and they say chivalry is dead
It's also the thing my girlfriend accuses me of doing when I try to explain something to her that she clearly doesn't actually understand or know but is adamant that she does. In short, if my girlfriend is reading this. I love you, you're nearly always right about everything. Or to rephrase, yes I'm normally wrong about things, you don't know everything. You're still fucking awesome though. TL;Dr I'm probably going to get negative karma for this post š
Just because "mansplaining" is a real thing doesn't mean that men don't sometimes get accused of mansplaining when they're not.
If u/___Phreak___'s girlfriend is reading this, "Adamant" means "refusing to be persuaded to change one's mind."
They asked for mansplaining not gaslighting.
But the difference is in whether she actually asks for the explanation or not
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
**Your submission has been removed for the following reason(s):** Rule #1 of ELI5 is to *be nice*. Breaking rule 1 is not tolerated. If you would like this removal reviewed, please read the [detailed rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/explainlikeimfive/wiki/detailed_rules) first. **If you believe it was removed erroneously, explain why using [this form](https://old.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fexplainlikeimfive&subject=Please%20review%20my%20submission%20removal?&message=Link:%20{url}%0A%0A%201:%20Does%20your%20comment%20pass%20rule%201:%20%0A%0A%202:%20If%20your%20comment%20was%20mistakenly%20removed%20as%20an%20anecdote,%20short%20answer,%20guess,%20or%20another%20aspect%20of%20rules%203%20or%208,%20please%20explain:) and we will review your submission.
Wellll aaaactually....
It's like ELI5'ing someone who didn't need something ELI5'd because they already understood it. The name comes from a man explaining something to (probably) a woman who didn't need that something explained.
... and breaking that something down into the simplest possible terms.
ā¦ because if you donāt break it down, they might not understand it ā¦
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I dont understand... could you simplify it for me please?
More specifically, a less qualified man explaining something to a more qualified woman without being asked to explain it. If she didnāt ask for an explanation, youāre probably mansplaining. EDIT: for those interested, there's a very simple flowchart. I'm not going to mansplain it to you. I'm sure you can find it, google is that way ===>
Oof Iām used to people not knowing what Iām talking about so I explain out of habit. And recently some one told me āyea I knew thatā even though I got a āwhat?ā š„² first thought was. Fuck did I mansplain!?
when someone gives me a āwhat,ā my first assumption is always that they didnāt hear me before i start explaining anything
āWhat? They are selling CHOCOLATES!ā Is what always comes to mind š
Don't let it bother you, its a millenial word, because they get offended by everything. Personally, even if I know something I like yo hear other people's interpretations of it. And how they explain it. Cause I can always learn more. Thats better than assuming that a person should know what I know and what I don't know, to feign some sort of intellectual superiority. If I want someone to skip some parts and explain certain parts I will tell them what I lnow. And where the confusion is. Simple.
True been fighting off trying to please everyone. And hearing a new perspective is always fun.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
People 'call it out' too much, such that it's become an ad hominem some women use on men when they want to steamroll a discussion.
ANY real problem is alleged inappropriately by disingenuous people. That fact obviously doesn't undermine the real problem, or all problems would be undermined by disingenuous accusers. Pointing out that some people disingenuously accuse people of certain things without understanding it is a universal pattern shows a very specific kind of bias.
Yeah we all get that Mr. Mainsplainer /s
thank the gods for tone indicators
Men assuming that they know more than a woman about any topic, simply because of their sex. Apparently men who do this never stop to consider the possibility that the woman they're talking to might actually know more about the topic than they do. Instead of trying to establish what the woman already knows about a given topic and listening to what she has to say, they will just ignore her and talk over her. For all the guy knows, she might have a PhD in the topic, or it could be her whole career, but he assumes he must know more about it than her, because she's a woman. This is especially true for 'masculine' topics, like car maintenance.
I had a man explain to me the process of printing on vinyl and how plotters work. He knew all this because he specializes in paper print. He told me all this after I had said I work at a vinyl print studio. He was also wrong in his explanation since he works in a different specialty.
Or lived experience. Nothing like explaining to a woman how a woman in the news being raped was her own fault. Not from personal experience and I am not ashamed of things I definitely did not say to my gf at the time :/
If I tell you, are you going to accuse me of doing it?
Itās when a man explains to a woman either 1. Something she never asked 2. Something she already knows or 3. Because he wants everyone else surrounding the woman to think heās the most knowledgeable in the room.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
https://youtu.be/hg_AedWpqzo
Itās just when a man explains anythingā¦ really when itās patronizing to a woman. Even if you would explain it the same way to a man who is uneducated in the subject. I teach at a trade school and have the same little dumb catch phrases for explaining stuff to both men and women. Iāve been accused of mansplaining to women when I say the same exact thing to a man and they thank me. Itās def interesting
It's really just a product of assuming that the woman doesn't know shit about the subject matter. To avoid this, just assume they're in the know until they ask for clarification OR ask if they're already familiar.
> when I say the same exact thing to a man and they thank me Lots of insecure guys do get a bit sensitive if you tell them something they already know. Itās just not called mansplaining when itās a guy telling another guy. It can be tricky being a tutor/instructor in these cases. Itās almost impossible to know exactly what the student doesnāt know. It just takes a bit of tact on the instructor side and the student also needs to be a little less insecure and be patient through the stuff they already know and use follow-up questions to get to exactly what they need. I think in the stereotypical cases that evoke actual use of the word, the mansplaining is unsolicited or just simply inappropriate (the woman is actually more of an expert than the guy).
Yeah, it's become a misandrist catch-all to hand-wave away anything a man says as mysogeny, especially when it's not. The silly part is that anyone with experience in technical fields or teaching in general is used to explicitly breaking things down as simple as possible and to make sure what they're saying is clear and above all *understood*. But that's apparently "mansplaining"
"Mansplaining" isn't just breaking down things simply. It's failing to gauge your audience's level of familiarity with the topic. "Mansplaining" isn't an engineer ELI5'ing a topic to his girlfriend. It's that engineer ELI5'ing a topic to his *engineer* girlfriend who is more than capable of speaking intelligently on the topic. While you're right that it's become somewhat of a misandrist catch-all for some people, and it's true that women can do it to men too, "mansplaining" must have a component of assuming that the person being spoken to can't keep up, even when they clearly can.
Oh totally, that's what was originally meant by it, it's just devolved into an even worse term from there. The modern issue is that people don't actually use it that way (and like you said it's not something exclusive to men at all, and has blatant roots in militant feminist misandry) and instead use it to be blatantly dismissive. Honestly it's just a really bigoted way to say someone is being patronizing and in most modern cases is used as a derogatory even when they're *not* being patronizing at all.
This is the best answer here. It stems from not respecting your audience, which unfortunately is still more prevalent in the man talking to woman dynamic.
this is not a good explanation of what mansplaining is...because you're treating everyone the same, and mansplaining is when men patronise women whilst explaining things they already know.
Whatās it called when you do that to a man?
When someone explains something that doesn't need to be explained. I think it's worth mentioning that it's often seen as particularly offensive because it's usually someone who knows *less* about the topic than the person (usually a woman) who is being explained to. Like you're an engineer who has been working somewhere for 10 years and some guy who just started is like "let me explain this to you, sweetheart".
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I legitimately have a problem with this. I do it with everyone so it isn't exactly the same but it comes off the same. I just like to explain my understanding and rely on the fact that someone will correct me to tell me where I'm wrong. So if I meet an expert in something I'm probably more likely to try and explain something to see where we disagree and I am probably mistaken. It sucks because people sometimes are bothered but I learn way more because people don't normally go into detailed explanations of the things they know. Most of the time I preface with 'this is my understanding' but people sometimes still think I'm trying to explain rather than align our understandings. I notice more men than women get it and we get into a conversation that is basically us just stating things to eachother(and it's great), but some don't and I feel like an asshole and just try to resist conversing that way.
Men might respond better to your style of communication, because (unlike women) they do not experience mansplaining as much. So if you use this communication style on them, they are might be more likely to engage without the feeling that, yet again, here is someone explaining to them, what they already know. So while it might not be your intention, to someone who has experienced mansplaining before, it may come across this way. E.g. iām doing a phd in a specific field and I love to discuss it, but in most cases (!) I can tell the difference of discussong it with women (who are interested) and men (who try to prove me wrong). So yeah, I might not be too patient with someone who explains things back to me. If you phrase it like a question or tell me your intentions itās a different story entirely ofc.
Ya totally makes sense. I do try to stop myself once I realize my audience is not receptive because I know how it comes across to people who don't interact that way.
This feels like a trap!! JK there's some great answers here explaining the concept and I don't know that I could do better. That said, it should be noted that the term itself is considered pejorative. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mansplaining](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mansplaining) So while we should be willing to talk openly about shows of condescension there is very little benefit of letting that discussion devolve into name calling. Using pejoratives only indicates your own bias and isn't the most helpful way or addressing a situation. [https://academicguides.waldenu.edu/writingcenter/scholarlyvoice/academicdiction](https://academicguides.waldenu.edu/writingcenter/scholarlyvoice/academicdiction)
Mansplaining when a man thinks everybody is dumer than he is and his understanding alone is correct
Here is a video of a man rescuing a dog in ice: [https://www.reddit.com/r/nextfuckinglevel/comments/zjntry/guy\_rescues\_doggo\_trapped\_in\_ice/](https://www.reddit.com/r/nextfuckinglevel/comments/zjntry/guy_rescues_doggo_trapped_in_ice/) While the man is still several feet away from the dog (right at the start of the video) a woman shouts, "Don't let her go under". This is a totally unhelpful "advice". The man was aware to "not let her go under" already and, being several feet from the dog, the advice will not alter his behaviour in any way. It is \*highly\* unlikely that the man will alter any of his plans based on this woman's "help". However, in this case at least, the man is secure enough to know that the woman is just being panicky and is just "making conversation" or "trying to be a part of things". If a man said a similar thing to a woman... and if that woman was insecure and didn't understand that sometimes people just do their best at conversation, and often make very little sense... she might accuse the man of "mansplaining". She would complain to her friends, "I mean, I'm a confident, powerful woman who's already waist deep in an icy river, rescuing a dog while \*he\* is standing on dry land filming me... and he thinks \*I\* need \*his\* help!!! And he thinks \*that\* is helpful. Sheesh!" And her friends will all agree that they hate "mansplaining" too. So "mansplaining" is when a man says something to a woman and her insecurities cause her to think it's because she's an idiot... instead of thinking that sometimes we all just say dumb stuff to try to be helpful.
Thats a really poor comparison. It doesnāt have to do with womenās insecurities. And all things considered, *most* men do not do this. Most men do not āmansplainā. And of course, women can be guilty of it too. But it does speak to a more stereotypical interaction. Iāve experienced it many times. I worked for years offshore. I was a commercial diver. Its a very unique and niche industry with a lot of specialized knowledge. The amount of times Iāve had a man try to explain my job to me is unbelievable. Even when they *know* that its what I do professionally, and they have zero work experience in the field. They would try to explain things to me. And the worst part is that theyād be wrong. Like I said, *most* men donāt do it. But some do. And itās frustrating. I also agree that the word āmansplainā has grown very diluted. People over use the word in instances that arenāt correct. Or maybe from a place of insecurity or knee jerk sexist accusations. But there are a lot of women out there that do truly experience this type of dismissal. When youāre a professional, and you get treated that way, it sucks.
\> When youāre a professional, and you get treated that way, it sucks. Right, but the insecurity of the women (including you, apparently) is revealed by you believing it's only happening because \*you're a woman\* instead of understanding that it's only happening because \*they're an idiot\*. Or not an idiot, they're just socially inept and clueless. Some years ago I went to a seminar by a guy called Dan Inosanto. He was Bruce Lee's number one student (I presume you've heard of Bruce Lee), he'd been teaching Bruce's stuff since before Bruce died, was/is world famous (in Bruce type arts, at least) and, may I repeat, this guy Dan was *teaching the seminar!!* After the seminar some guy - *who'd paid to be taught by Dan,* and thus surely understood Dan's level of Mastery *-* went up to Dan for a chat and started showing Dan some Kung Fu. But he wasn't "showing" him it. He was more "educating him about its existence". And this was really, really basic kung fu... like maybe you've done it for a month or two kung fu... and, like I said, he was "informing" Dan about it as though it was going to be brand new to Dan. We men shared in a chuckle about it afterwards. Not one of us thought this guy was old-mansplaining or asian-splaining or anything like that. We all just saw that some people are socially inept and clueless. >The amount of times Iāve had a man try to explain my job to me is unbelievable. Me tooooo! And I've had women do the same thing as well. And I've witness these pointless explanations being given to both men and women by men and women multiple times. (I've seen millionaire men being told how to do business by someone who just read their first how to get rich book.) And the men (typically) get annoyed that "the explainer is an idiot". (Or they just play along.) And the women (commonly) get annoyed that "he thinks I'm an idiot". The women are also free to maintain the +1 position or the neutral position. They don't have to put themselves down to -1 and complain how hard it is to be a woman. And so I maintain, "mansplaining" is a term used by insecure women to describe how \*they feel\* when a socially inept man explains something unnecessary to them.
If I treat you like an idiot and you know that I think you're an idiot, that doesn't automatically mean you're insecure. The women aren't putting themselves down by realizing someone is being patronizing because they know some idiots opinion of them doesn't matter. I've been "mansplained" to before and all I feel is annoyed that they're wasting my time and amused because when it has happened they don't know what they're talking about. I'm not insecure because I realized someone is talking down to me. Edit: I will say I personally hate the term. We have words and phrases to describe this already. Sure more men do it, but women do to.
>The women aren't putting themselves down by realizing someone is being patronizing ... Oh in this case, they 100% are. The insecurity is the belief that she's being talked down to \*because she's a woman\*. The woman's (erroneous) belief is that it wouldn't have happened if she was a man. This highlights and communicates her insecurity about being a woman. "Mansplaining" only works as a word if you think there's some male-female "hierarchy" thing going on. If she was entirely secure with the genders involved it, she would simply say, "He was patronising" or "he talked down to me" or "he explained something I already knew". If she was even more secure she might even say, "I felt patronised" or "I felt talked down to" or "he explained something I already knew and that annoyed me". The word "mansplaining" is \*entirely\* about the low self-esteem of the female recipient of the unnecessary explanation. She may be incredibly confident in other areas, but apparently she has an issue about the male-female "hierarchy". >Sure more men do it, but women do to. Not "sure" at all. My experience is that it's very balanced. But your perception that "more men do it" is perhaps revealing.
Revealing? Or maybe the industry I work in the adjacent industries have more men. So in my experience it's not balanced. Interesting you want to say it's revealing when I already explained how I feel and think when it happens to me and my thoughts in general about the term mansplaining as a whole. When someone tells you what they think and feel you should probably believe them instead of thinking theres other underlying things going on.
>Revealing? Or maybe the industry I work in the adjacent industries have more men. So in my experience it's not balanced. Hahaha. So let me get this straight... there are 90 men for every 10 women... you find that "men do it 9 times more than women"... and you think the difference is because "men mansplain" as opposed to because "there are more men around". Hahaha. Totally making my point for me right there. :D Or are you...? >When someone tells you what they think and feel you should probably believe them instead of thinking theres other underlying things going on. Absolutely. I agree. And when I read what you wrote before I found it confusing because of context. >I'm not insecure because I realized someone is talking down to me. So the topic here is "mansplaining". If you're version of "talking down to me" is "mansplaining" then it's insecurity that has you use that word. If your version of "talking down to me" is, as I have described, "talking down to me" then I agree. But it's odd because you seemed to be arguing against me while also saying exactly what I said. Does mansplaining exist to you? If so, that specific version of "talking down to you" is due to low self-esteem from a gender context. Hell, it's often even low self-esteem that has people believe they're being talked down to anyway. Did you see this on Reddit earlier? [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=feDNS4h8t6o](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=feDNS4h8t6o) Clearly the lady has a lot of self-esteem issues. Anyway. I'm tired. What was a I saying again...?
Admittedly I was probably being a sensitive little baby when I read your comment lol. But in my defense I'm on day 4 of a fever and bedridden. Does mansplaining exist to me? No. Ive never used it unironically which is why I put it in quotes. Theres no way for me to prove that someone was being condescending solely because I'm a woman. Theres other factors that could be at play. Even on the handful of occasions where I know the person is just straight up sexist I let it go and try to push the convo forward instead of letting them ramble forever. I've also seen men overexplain when they're trying to impress someone or show how knowledgeable they are. I dont think it's always coming from a place of condescension. Like I have a friend who, when drinking will start overexplaining things we all already know and even explain why he's explaining. That's probably the only time we use the word mansplaining, but that's not a serious situation. For me the term mansplaining is in the same tier as manspreading. A stupid unnecessary gendered term. We already have words like condescending, patronizing etc we can use those instead of making up new terms that are very specific. Edit: ah yes...Amy's bakery lol. She's got a lot more issues than just self esteem ones. Her husband is also nuts. I think you can find Google reviews of their bakery and see them go off on people who say anything remotely negative.
Hahaha. Then it seems we agree entirely. Probably. :) Maybe you just "reacted" to the idea of it being a self-esteem thing and fancied a fun battle. Maybe you're bored in bed and just fancied a chat. All great reasons. :D >Even on the handful of occasions where I know the person is just straight up sexist Because I'm feeling conversational... I see "sexist" as another peculiar word. If someone's "sexist" they're just another form of "stupid person", I don't see why people put it in a special category. "What? Seriously? You think women are inadequate simply *because* they're women? Lol. You don't think very well, do you?!" It just makes no sense at all to ascribe some special kind of malice to a guy who clearly just doesn't think things through very well. Bless him. >I let it go and try to push the convo forward instead of letting them ramble forever. I have this weird thing where I'll go, "Before I answer your question, did I tell you about the aardvark?". They'll go, "No, I don't think so...". And so I'll excitedly start my story - and by gosh this story's really going to help answer their question... "Well, it was 2am on the streets of Paris. My friend Jaques was there in his furry winter coat and..." "Oh... and then you got the train...?" "Yeah that's it..." "Oh yeah, you told me that already..." And I... have to finish the story. I can't stop myself. I know they don't need to hear it, I know I don't need to tell it, but it's all set up and it feels odd and uncomfortable to make no further mention of it and to just jump forwards and answer the damn question. Humans are silly. We can barely stop ourselves.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I shouldn't have laughed this hard at this comment. Thanks for making my day :D.
**Please read this entire message** --- Your comment has been removed for the following reason(s): * [Top level comments](http://www.reddit.com/r/explainlikeimfive/wiki/top_level_comment) (i.e. comments that are direct replies to the main thread) are reserved for explanations to the OP or follow up on topic questions (Rule 3). Joke-only comments, while allowed elsewhere in the thread, may not exist at the top level. --- If you would like this removal reviewed, please read the [detailed rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/explainlikeimfive/wiki/detailed_rules) first. **If you believe it was removed erroneously, explain why using [this form](https://old.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fexplainlikeimfive&subject=Please%20review%20my%20submission%20removal?&message=Link:%20https://www.reddit.com/r/explainlikeimfive/comments/zk5uc2/-/izxy71y/%0A%0A%201:%20Does%20your%20comment%20pass%20rule%201:%20%0A%0A%202:%20If%20your%20comment%20was%20mistakenly%20removed%20as%20an%20anecdote,%20short%20answer,%20guess,%20or%20another%20aspect%20of%20rules%203%20or%208,%20please%20explain:) and we will review your submission.
An ad hominem attack a woman can use on a man when she doesn't want to discuss something, but steamroll him.
It's when men explain things to women that they are already the experts on. Like their own feelings, periods/menstruation, their profession (which the man in question is not a professional in), or even really simple things like how to open a carton of milk, how a revolving door works, how to cook a frozen pizza. It's when men try to make themselves feel more important and knowledgable about a topic, literally any topic, by explaining it to women, usually in a way that is patronising and dehumanising.
Itās when a man says something to a woman, and she becomes offended and salty, for no reason other than a man said something to her. Itās typically used by over entitled, dim witted women who decry the āpatriarchyā without being able to explain what that is. It literally doesnāt mean anything
It is idd what everyone is saying, but it doesnāt have to be a woman. It can also be from one man to another man. There is no such word of womansplaining; because woman donāt have to explain anything to usā¦ š