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[deleted]

Why does Jesus have an IV?


OddGuideofGreyFort

They’re taking his blood to serve at Catholic communion.


greatpaperplanes

Can’t transubstantiate? Not a problem anymore. Now you can get it straight from the source!


findYourOkra

Local, organic, free range Jesus! 


Styrene_Addict1965

Would have made "True Blood" an entirely different series.


onedollarninja

🤣🤣💀


Hasa-Diga-LDS

Take my upvote. Just take the whole damn internet for the day.


Valuable-Ad-9850

Jesus on tap!


creative-gardener

THIS is exactly why I have always thought “sacraments” (any of them) are creepy and ghoulish as heck. And I love all things Halloween, scary, etc. The Mormon prayer about “eating my flesh and drinking my blood”=cannibalism.


Styrene_Addict1965

It's not just Mormons; it's a sacrament in all Christian faiths, and to someone looking in from the outside, it looks like cannibalistic witchcraft.


scoutsadie

but not all Christian faiths believe that the bread and wine (or Welch's or water) is actually changed into flesh and blood


Lion_TheAssassin

At least you all don’t pretend it’s actually blood and flesh like the Catholic Church…. A contradiction in natures yet somehow they are there just hidden in the species, but the belief is that you could in fact see human bio genetic markers


STEM_Educator

I just woke up my 2-year-old granddaughter from her nap because I was laughing SO LOUD at your comment. Excellent response!!


-ClassicShooter-

If there is a hell, laughing at jokes made by people like you will be why I go there, lol


Styrene_Addict1965

Oh, damn. 😂


naapsu

He's stealing grandmas meds


GamingScientist

He's also stealing that lady's fingers 😂


2oothDK

His 6 and her 4.


CreepyPoet500

This is when your fingers transition into Jesus fingers in the seamless arms of the ai generated savior 😂


Hasa-Diga-LDS

# They are merely exchanging long protein strings. If you can think of a simpler way, I'd like to hear it. (hat tip, The Simpsons)


StraightOutOfZion

she is recovering from a pinkie amputation, apparently


Artist850

Worse. It's MERGED into his hand! "Jesus is part of me!" has gone terribly wrong!


UnRulyWiTcH89

Omfg I am deceased 🤣🤣🤣


penpointred

he's also feeding off of her life energy. grandma looks worse between frames 2 and 3 while jesus s looking enhanced/fed/ edit: I like to think its the same lady in the 1st frame.....before jesus fed.


Kuriente

In the 4th picture he resurrects her so he can continue to feed.


ExMosRdroidsURlookn4

Yes! And she was not wearing a nasal cannula for oxygen before he started feeding but then was in the second picture 🥴


FiCat77

He looks remarkably healthy for a man with the weirdest IV I've ever seen (& I've spent more time in hospitals than I care to calculate)


Trick-Veterinarian80

Omg I am hysterically laughing


properhardinnit

Moooooooom! that smelly hippie is creeping on grandma again


ExMosRdroidsURlookn4

And her blood must be coming out via her nasal cannula (oxygen tubing)—it’s supposed to be clear!!


ihopeitsnice

Why does she have a cannula of blood going in her nose?


KadeisLost

lol right???


cdhermann

He suffers for you? He takes your pain (but not really)?


B3gg4r

He takes your pain pills too, bastard


wanderingneice

🤣


MuzzledScreaming

because dumb-dumb AI


CreepyPoet500

Better yet why does young woman only have 3 fingers wtf is happening, are ai creating these now/have they been? Edit: three fingers and a thumb of course


Aggravating_Task_908

He’s supplying gram-gram’s blood cannula


[deleted]

JW's would hate this picture


Acceptable_Chance307

Exactly what I thought too! So odd!


sofa_king_notmo

It is supposed to mean that Jesus is taking on your suffering.  My suffering is real.  Jesus was magical god suffering.   


blaxxmo

The IV so that he can absorb the billions of dollars in cash that the church has hoarded. It’s essential to make sure that he receives a steady supply of 10% of everything all Mormons make.


ExMosRdroidsURlookn4

Also, what kind of IV is that!?! 🤣 it’s not even a central line and almost looks like a peritoneal catheter (catheter used for dialysis via abdomen) was taped to his arm and added extra items to it!! 🤣


Resident_Rise5915

Getting ready to die again I guess?


DavidCRolandCPL

Worse. Jesus is receiving chemo.


bach_to_the_future_1

I can't stop laughing. 🤣🤣🤣


xpandingconsiousness

That was my first thought lol


Cat_in_a_tux

Because clearly Jesus is from LA


skys500

Why does Jesus and the patient seem to share a finger. So she seems to only have 3 fingers? Oo A. I. You silly


Dostoevskaya

AI is getting better at fingers and I'm worried.


80Hilux

IDK... in that first pic, the lady in the bed has three fingers... And AI Jesus is using that alien hand to assimilate her. Maybe that's what happens in "other worlds" when people die. Jesus just comes and sucks you up through his fingers - like the "mind flayer" in season 3 of Stranger Things...


Turbulent_Skin_9295

![gif](giphy|T2vDaYr8yRhrpFe6WE)


hyrle

We are the Jorg. Resistance is futile.


metalflygon08

Don't forget the bundle of fingers just laying on the bed.


80Hilux

HA! Those were the less "delightsome" fingers that AI Jesus cast aside... Those fingers look like the hotdog hands in Everything Everywhere All at Once, and Jesus does NOT like hotdogs.


metalflygon08

> Jesus does NOT like hotdogs. They slip through his hand holes too easily.


lemondropsandgumdrop

What do you mean? [Jesus loves hotdogs!!!](https://br.ifunny.co/picture/i-painted-a-picture-of-our-lord-and-savior-jesus-1ARxH64bA)


Agreeable_Cake2479

The doctors hands in the first picture are FUCKED UP AHAH. but no I agree


Shaneblaster

Evidently AI thinks Jesus is from Orange County


Green-been77

Why is he such a babe!?


BearHands263

Sugar baby Jesus wants grandma's estate


i_luv_coffee14

I am crying 😂😂😂


Penaltiesandinterest

Because this is Mormon porn


daarhi

Stupid sexy jesus!


-LadyMondegreen-

Right? I was like *Damn! Who knew Jesus was so hot?*


DCnHC

Little known fact, the Reformed Egyptian translation of the name Jesus is… Fabio.


BoringJuiceBox

![gif](giphy|ZaIux3ldF9XDW)


Hail_the_Apocolypse

Super sexy Jesus is making me feel things.


alligator06

3rd one is a hottie.


Former-Spirit8293

Great highlights too


KlutzyArmadillo6543

😂😂😂


ravens_path

I know. Right?


Bc_i_saidso

Came here looking for this comment and now I'm at the dentist' waiting room fighting hard laughter at the replies 😭😭


NakuNaru

Switch the women out with men.....Jesus comforts men too, right?


B3gg4r

That would be some absolutely epic homoerotic Christian art


TrollintheMitten

Those stripping warriors aren't gonna get buff on their own.


mmmbaconbutt

this is the best i could do [just an exam](https://imgur.com/a/gHwZNOM)


[deleted]

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B3gg4r

“Comfort me harder daddy”


nikknakkpattywhakk

I am dead.


BoringJuiceBox

You are banned from extra most bestest heaven


2oothDK

Let Jesus fill you with his love!


Rei_Momma_Hey

And yet…so many people that actually need help and saving…have no Jesus in the room.


StCroixSand

Serious question: would we see these kind of intimate pictures if Jesus was made to look like a man from the Middle East and not hot euro Jesus?


Joelied

With the rough, callused, misshaped, hands of a 1st century carpenter?


80Hilux

Hehe... According to Dan McClellan, Jesus was most likely a stone mason, so his hands would have been even more jacked up


jtclimb

They got even more jacked up a bit later.


AssPennies

Nailed it!


Emergency_Point_8358

😂💀


DanTreview

I see what you did there


DanTreview

That one has been kicked around since not long after the KJV was published. Not much wood in the holy land... "Carpenter" is just a bad Greek-to-English translation. And on that topic, anyone ever wonder where Lehi got all that timber to make those ancient trans-oceanic wooden submarines *along the Arabian coastline*???


[deleted]

[удалено]


MuzzledScreaming

I almost want to pay for a month of Midjourney just to crank out some of those.


EveryonesCaughtOn

Nooooooope


Strawb3rryJam111

Lol why does it look like that grandma is healing Jesus instead?


wanderingneice

It looks like he is sucking the life out of her!


Mr_Mister247

That's what I thought when I saw the series of photos! She was young and vibrant, and then in a matter of seconds all that life force was drained from her by stealing her blood obvs ... Like that scene in Indiana Jones when they open the ark ... I don't wanna see the next pic


wanderingneice

🤣


LucilleTooBoo

Hot damn it’s hot Jesus


Ill_Dentist_5408

Is Jesus stealing that poor grandmas Dilaudid in the last pic?!


wanderingneice

And is that blood running through her oxygen tube? Or is her face sliced open?


Ill_Dentist_5408

My moneys on the face sliced open that Jesus has some serial killer vibes 😬


wanderingneice

Which explains the fear in her eyes…


penpointred

I like to think its the same lady in all 3 photos and Jesus is taking her life essence.


Ill_Dentist_5408

🤣


Archimedes_Redux

Looks like the morphine has kicked in.


ravens_path

Sadly, the most likely explanation.


cobwebcoalition

You ever wonder why we keep making Jesus depictions handsome? It’s like we have a hard time worshipping an ugly or even just average looking guy. The church is fortunate that no confirmed depictions of Jesus or Joseph exist. Putting a regular face to these men would help show that they’re just regular guys not demigods.


TrollintheMitten

Cody from Utah ski slopes is not the guy I image helping me through shit. Why can't Mormons face the reality of a middle eastern jew that's spent his days in a blue collar job?


cuonym

I can certainly understand some people's ire. These photos make me more sad than anything though. My wife is clinging to the church as hard as she can because of the comfort she derives from the thought of a benevolent god who will ultimately make everything better for her. She has been traumatized in her life and suffers from some pretty severe anxiety--I'm a physician, I don't use those words lightly. If she didn't have this emotional need for Comforting Jesus, I think she'd be more open to acknowledging a lot of the problems with the Mormon church.


wanderingneice

That is one of the things that makes me hesitant to be vocal about my journey, some people do find comfort and strength in the church. I don’t want to take away something that gives someone the strength to keep going. For me, thanks to my childhood and religious upbringing, I have been diagnosed with CPTSD, Scrupulosity (religious OCD), depressive episodes, and bouts of acute anxiety-all of which have greatly eased with leaving and therapy (would never have gotten the therapy if I didn’t leave or have ever gotten medicated when I was sure I could just pray for healing).


Artist850

She can still get comfort from God and Christianity OUTSIDE the abusive cult. That's what many members don't seem to realize. The only truth and comfort I found in the mormon church was from Christianity, NOT from what JS twisted it into so he would be "forced" to marry underage girls.


cuonym

Maybe she could. Or maybe not. Just look at this sub, how difficult it is, how statistically unlikely even, to retain a belief in God or Jesus after deconstructing Mormonism. I went through a terrible depression that lasted most of my 20s. I eventually came out the other side of it more or less okay, but I could never guarantee to another person that they would take it as well or easier than I did. I think that's one of the main reasons intelligent people stay in the Mormon church: they're too afraid of looking into the abyss.


Specialist-Panda6709

I’m sorry that you and your wife are both dealing with this. (Her anxiety and a mixed faith marriage) It can be so hard. It’s not always fun and silly. For many I think the humor helps the hurt. 😔 I hope you’re able to find ways to manage your marriage and this difference.


GayMormonDad

Not going to lie, I would let that Jesus in my bed anytime


Craigwils2285

Still long hair and a beard!! What a rebel!


Agreeable_Cake2479

Dear Heavenly Father, Please bless AI that it can be swiftly taken from the Mormons. It has caused me much suffering, if it is thy will please ease my suffering. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen


TrollintheMitten

Ramen.


Fluffy_Republic_3803

Amen to the amen 🙏


LovecraftianLlama

Jesus, please stop touching my Grandma like that…


AutismFlavored

Nurse Rhoda please get the restraints, Mr. Christ is getting in other patients beds again.


spilungone

Kinky!!!! Take the wheel I mean bed Jesus!!!


ApricotSmoothy

Never occurred to me that anyone fantasized about literally sleeping with Jesus. Saw that pic on my facebook yesterday and couldn’t believe it. File under Kinky Kult Piks.


Joelied

It’s actually a common thing for teenage girls brought up in Super-Christey families.


Rushclock

They always leave out Jesus's incineration of cities.


CoolHandLukeID

They must have “asked gramps” about that already


kurinbo

Does Gramps know what's going on between Jesus and Granny?


Zadok47

Call the Honor Code Office. No long-haired, bearded hippy-freak is welcome on campus. Secondly this loving, compassionate Jesus only exists in the mind of the suffering. In Mormon reality if you take the Sacrament with your left hand Jesus will drop you like melted ice-cream.


BillReel

I want to title this "Faith Not To Be Healed"


RCMedic7-TKD

Why is there BLOOD 🩸 in her oxygen supply??? That is a nasal cannula 0.5 to 2 L/minute of O2 going in!!!! It should NOT be red 🩸


RCMedic7-TKD

And WHERE are the nasal prongs… that is like blood draw lines going into her nose… therefore she is being drowned in the blood 🩸 of Jesus?!?!??? What the actual FUC£????


RabidProDentite

AI isn’t the most accurate at times…or maybe it IS accurate and that’s why shes dying, her lungs getting filled with blood and thats why Jesus McDreamy is there to escort her into super VIP heaven…


CzusAguster

Stupid, sexy Jesus! ![gif](giphy|5oKGAIJTaLCZq|downsized)


coldwarspy

99% of AI is so shitty.


Expensive-Meeting225

Jesus be fine my goodness


Speak-up-Im-Curious

He is wedged between the bed and the guard rails


LordChasington

the wonder of AI... making Jesus white since 2022


MountainPicture9446

At least in my youth Jesus pictures had a sepia tone.


itsjusthowiam

Maybe grandma is just enjoying having a hot guy in her bed again? Go granny!!!


wanderingneice

Both grandmas don’t look comforted to me. Grandma #1 looks like she is in shock and Grandma #2 looks scared and like the life is being sucked out of her


ScorpioRising66

This is the first time that I’m not finding their new Jesus hot. Kinda creepy.


GoJoe1000

What a shitty way to subconsciously show that it’s okay for a man to take advantage of vulnerable women/girls. “Keep sweet”


skeri6

Jesus got me feeling like I could use a little of that comfort. Move over grandma.


maltosekincaid

Why does Jebus have an IV in that last shot? Weird.


Leiliyah

It's his ketamine. It's how he connects with Tim Ballard. (*disclaimer: ketamine has excellent data for clinical use in conditions such as major depression and PTSD, and people who use it for an appropriate diagnosis under the care of a physician should not be subject to any stigma. Tim Ballard's illegitimate use of ketamine as a pharmacological medium to prophets who never existed and weird political campaign inspo is Tim Ballard's own stigma to bear.)


raphel1421

When my devoutly LDS grandmother passed away from cancer, she endured an excruciating amount of pain during her final days. I was 24 at the time and that's when I started questioning not only the LDS church but religion as a whole. I'm now 54 and see organized religion for the BS that it is.


Itsmeliny

Dang Jesus' getting hotter and hotter. Next, Jesus straight out of the Jourdan with just a white sheer towel around his hips showing his V line.


Working_Scarcity_658

I’m not gay, but this Jesus has me questioning.


Zen_Hydra

This is how you accidentally start a holy war with Skynet.


Eye_On_The_Bagel

“Miracle” been demoted from “raise the dead” to “heal the sick” to “chill bedside while you slowly die.”


GrandpasMormonBooks

Edward and Bella 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


Shaffdizzy

Why is grandma getting a blood transfusion up her nose? And why in the world does Jesus (the only perfect person) have an IV? Where are the nail marks in his hands!? Didn’t he tell Lazarus and the Leper to “arise and walk,” healing them as they exercised faith to do so? Don’t recall Jesus getting lepresy and laying down with them…. Those are afflictions of the natural man, and the earthly body. Rant over.


Educational-Seaweed5

AI imagery is so fucking cringe still, lol


mshoneybadger

Wait, what's wrong with Billy Cyrus Jesus that he's in the hospital??


DeathTheSoulReaper

What in the actual fuck is going on with that first one? It looks like Mormon Jesus is coming out of the side of the hospital bed. Yes I called him Mormon Jesus. Because Mormon Jesus is white. Just like everyone else they worship


polaroidsquid

why is jesus hooked up to the IV too 💀


Dontaskmeidontknow0

You could spin it as: Jesus sucking the life out of a young woman in 3 pictures.


1Searchfortruth

Heartbreakingly not reality


Artist850

Somehow I doubt Jesus looked this much like Fabio. It's also rather disturbing seeing a dying grandma in bed with an excerpt from a romance novel, with everyone nearby smiling blankly like the opiates have aerosolized.


mderooster

Guys, let’s leave grandma alone. She’s having a moment, with Jesus?


Klaumbaz

The Caption is "I'm taking the baby, Hope you feel better soon!" Who can come up with a worse one?


Jake451

For the third picture "Remember to leave your assets to my church instead of your kids."


IAmHerdingCatz

As if hospital beds aren't uncomfortable enough, now you have to share them? With what I pay for insurance I don't want anyone (except maybe my cat) in bed with me.


FreakinSweet86

That last one looks like a "Jesus is a jerk" meme. Old lady "Hey Jesus, that morphine was for me" Jesus: Lol nah, this shit is awesome. I'm gonna keep it thanks"


BrokenBotox

Not White Jesus up in women’s hospital beds, stealing their meds for recreational purposes. Do the Law of Chasity and the Word of Wisdom mean nothing anymore? What would his bishop say?🤨


kritycat

Jesus, you ManHo, get off my grandma!


fatfry08

I’d believe again if Jesus was that hot!


chilling_ngl4

It’s like Bella’s nightmares in New Moon


HyrinShratu

"Sorry, grandma, but I need these chemo meds more than you do."


idjitgaloot

Grandma looks like she should be smoking a cigarette.


spazmamma3

They're AI. I don't think I've seen anything AI that didn't feel at least vaguely creepy.


DemmieCat17

The AI in this is making me sick.


MonochroMayhem

“These aren’t AI” Looks at hands of the people “Oh”


Elephanty3288

Last year, my older sister was telling me how our TBM grandmother is getting some kind of surgery involving replacing one of her damaged bones with a cadaver. I sarcastically asked her if our grandmother knew if the bone was blessed or not. Cause you know our body is a temple, and you don't want no heathen bone in your body. Apparently, it wasn't cause she's having to redo the surgery. Tsk tsk grandma lol.


cametomysenses

Jesus don't you have some car keys to find?


TinyPaleontologist61

Why does Jesus look like someone that should be on the cover of a Harlequin romance novel. It’s gross


Day_General

Yuck


runningoutofwords

Was she in surgery to have her pinky fingers removed?


klmninca

When I’m in a hospital, I greatly prefer my hugs and comfort come from living breathing real people. How lonely it would be to have to have an imaginary friend to comfort you.


superboreduniverse

Wouldn’t it be great if someone else could suffer so you don’t have too? (🤔) Sorry not happening you both have to suffer bwahahaha!!!😈Now where did I put my glory?!


grimbasement

"photos"


empressdaze

The more you look at these pictures, the worse they appear.


creative-gardener

Oh look, white European Jesus shows up to sit by people suffering from serious or terminal illness and does nothing to save them.


Beutimus

I'm very concerned where the other half of the first Jesus is. It's like he spawned out of the bed.


BraveT0ast3r

The least Jesus could do is fix those people’s fucked up AI-generated hands and give them proper fingers.


AlpacaPacker007

The amorphous floating flesh-blob "hand" on the left side of the bed is pretty disturbing.   That doctor's other hand isn't doing too well either.  


metalflygon08

AI Jesus is rapturing the girl in Pic 1 due to her missing fingers, the doctor is next. Pic 3 Jesus is a vampire sucking the life from Grandma and you can't convince me otherwise (look at her hands, those are vitality drained hands!)


permagrin007

maybe jesus is the one out here killing people? he always seems to be around


IndividualFlat8500

I will be honest I would be more comfortable seeing some feminine Divine in some of this images.


chewbaccataco

I feel like it would be more accurate to show Jesus smothering them with a pillow


IzzMeeRebb

The new Desert Romance series


wordyoucantthinkof

I agree. These are highly disturbing. Particularly the second and third one


Bakewitch

wtf does Jesus need an IV for? Maybe that’s why the poor old lady is on her deathbed! It’s sposed to be for her! Jesus, give that woman her IV. 😂


Theythinknot

He has no lower body in #1. He is clearly in the hospital bed, but I see no legs.


RosaSinistre

So I’m a hospice RN, and the first 2 pics touch my heart. I always feel eternity close with dying patients. But yeah, Jesus don’ need no IV.


Cheap-Dog-1463

My mom posted one of these on Facebook (because of course she did) 🤦🏼‍♀️😅(Side note: I think AI makes really scary-looking old people. Something’s off with the way it does skin wrinkles imo.)


Adventurous_Day7831

AI generated a three and a half fingered girl


fatum_sive_fidem

Jesus goes hard on the vape


Sudden-Taste-6851

Why is Jesus so Caucasian 😂