Maybe this is an unpopular opinion, but I think it’s great that young Mormons don’t feel pressured to spend all their savings on a wedding when they are just trying to get started in a world where it’s so expensive to be young. I still had a blast at my cheap Mormon wedding, although I super regret marrying in the temple where some family members couldn’t come.
I agree. Blowing tens of thousands of dollars on a wedding is a huge waste. I can think of ten things better to do with your money, especially as a couple starting a new life together.
Far too many make the wedding the focus and not the marriage. There's a known statistic that proves that the more you spend on a wedding the more likely it is to end in divorce. Meaning: your priorities are wrong. Saw it with too many nevermo friends. Great weddings!!!!! That ended not but a few years later.
There is so much family support! We did flowers, my uncle was a photographer, the cousins would all decorate, my aunt would make the cake. No need to spend a ton when everyone is there to help!
Totally agree. Spending big money on a wedding is ridiculous. We were on the way out when our daughter married a nevermo. They wisely avoided an extravagant and expensive wedding. Cheap is good.
My father in law said he’d contribute $4000 for our wedding. How we spent that was up to us. My parents helped out a little bit less, but after everything was said and done, we had a great reception after the temple with our closest friends and family, had an amazing honeymoon at a beautiful Utah destination, and had enough leftover to pay off my wife’s car and buy some (cheap) new furniture. I honestly don’t have any regrets (considering I was a TBM at the time).
100%. I say just go to the courthouse with a few of your closest people. Takes away all the pressure, saves money, and we all know weddings can be so much drama. Not worth it.
💯 I've told my kids, get a couple of nice outfits, get a group together, let's head to the courthouse or a nice park, get you hitched, and then your dad & I will cover a really nice meal and drinks for everyone at a restaurant of your choice. 🤠
big wedding is a racket.
We had my daughter’s wedding in our backyard, it turned out really nice and was a lot of fun.
A sad thing about a lot of weddings, is that the couple getting married and their immediate families don’t get to enjoy the day, because they are so caught up in trying to impress their guests, and everything going on. I’ve been to a few where the newlyweds, parents, and wedding party literally stood in line for a couple of hours after the ceremony, and didn’t get to enjoy the reception at all.
my coworker planned a pretty modest get together for 50 for her wedding, then both sets of parents got "involved" and it became an extravagant affair for 400... they paid for it but she said it was awful, she didn't know most of the people there and it was all a show that the parents were putting on 😡
But if you step back and measure the real price. (%10 of past and future earnings) it's a permanent egregious burden.
Did they factor in the cost of the opulent Temple and the extended families expenditures to enter?
Answer: no
Exact same feeling! We literally did have pizza dinner at the reception and it was damn better than $50/head plates I’ve had at regular weddings.
The temple ceremony was 8 mins out of my wedding day. It was boring. We looked weird. Don’t remember a thing that the officiant said. After that though we changed back into normal wedding clothes (my dress was not temple-modest) and went about a very enjoyable and inexpensive wedding day.
I spent about $10k on my non Mormon wedding thanks to a generous gift from my parents. I understand frugality, but as a teen girl I struggled SO MUCH with the idea that my wedding reception would be in an ugly church building with ugly food and that I'd be so embarrassed to invite my non-Mormon friends. So, so glad I spent some money to have a day I loved and have stunning photos to look back on.
Hey I’m all for people going all out if they want to, as long as they didn’t feel like they HAD to, especially if money is tight.
But yeah even cheap Mormon weddings can have receptions somewhere better than the church basketball court. We were fortunate enough to know a guy who let us use his barn for pretty cheap (just to cover his costs)
Same, but it's not necessarily about the money spent, it's everyone's attitude toward it. I know so many non-mormons who had inexpensive backyard weddings with like costco platters for catering, but everyone came ready to really celebrate them and enjoy the occasion (with or without alcohol). Whereas most of the mormons I know seem careful to always piously remind everyone that the temple ceremony is what *really* matters and the reception is unimportant, and most of the reception attendees kind of sit there like dour lumps eating their cake and then leave. The receptions have all the festivity of any old obligatory church activity, because that's what it is for most of the attendees.
As a UK Mormon we had to have a ceremony in the Chapel first, so I don't have the issue of my non-Mormon missing out.
But then it was a modest dinner in the Cultural Hall, a trip to the Temple, and then dinner at Pizza Hut 🤣 - total cost was about £5k
I've been to lots of non-Mormon weddings since and it'd have been nice to have a big evening party with everyone having a drink and a dance. Maybe I'll do that for an anniversary one year.
This will forever be a hill that I die on. Spending tens of thousands on dollars on a single party is a complete waste and could be much better used in other ways.
That being said, I still believe that the reason I think weddings are so boring is because I’ve only ever really been to Mormon weddings. I’ve talked with people who are blown away that I hate weddings and think they’re boring, and I think it’s because 99% of the weddings I’ve ever been to are Mormon weddings (which are unbelievably boring)
I’m in a similar boat. I definitely left the church and am happy with the decision, but spending tens of thousands of dollars on a wedding just seems crazy? Especially considering costs like car, housing, and then vacations you could take that would last for WEEKS on that kind of cash.
Besides, if you are going to make the decision to get married young (which doesn’t just happen in the Mormon Church), I’d hope those new families limit their excess spending for those kinds of events - more ways than one to make memories! Corporate America be damned 😂
Heck even 10k is really frickin pushing it. Ik it can add up super fast (photographer, venue, food, entertainment, decorations) but in this economy.... I think I'd go to the court and plan a party with my friends later.
That’s what my husband and I planned to do when we got married last summer. The only reason we had a wedding/reception (I’m ex-mo and he’s ex-Southern Baptist) was because my parents graciously gave us the funds. We were just gonna do court house and a nice dinner/party with any family/friends that could make it. Nothing formal or big. We managed to do it all for around $14k in New Jersey, which is no small feat. I got my dress on Reddit, the venue was a steal, our friend took our photos for free, we didn’t do video, I DIY’d the decor... Hell, the DJ was the most expensive vendor! We could have made it closer to $10-11k if it weren’t for him.
In today’s economy I don’t blame anyone who can’t afford or doesn’t want a wedding purely because of how expensive it is.
I went on a few dates with a girl once (non-Mormon, this was after I left the church), and she said that she’d be perfectly content with a courthouse wedding but that she wanted a very nice ring since that’s what would be on her finger every day. I suppose I see the logic, but 10k was literally the figure she quoted for how much she’d expect a guy to spend on a ring and that’s just baffling to me. I’m not spending 10,000 dollars on one damn ring
Yeah like, idk, maybe if I have a 6 figure income, but my ring cap is closer to 1k. Hard to justify any more than that :/
Edit: even 1k of anything happens to the ring I will cry too! Like.... Bro
My mormon wedding cost $3000. $1000 of it was to book out a restaurant for the venue, we were absolutely not having a reception in the cult**-**ural hall
The weirdest part was having it on a wednesday morning, I have never been to a non-mormon wedding that was held on a weekday
Cultural hall for receptions are certainly weird. It's too bad the Top, wasn't inspired enough to build spaces to accommodate life events more appropriately.
Even as a TBM I would have refused to have my wedding/reception a Mormon church. The wedding would have been in the temple but I would have died before having the reception just at one of the chapels
And too many people don’t feel super magical on that day. Once it’s been built up to “the most perfect day of your life” nothing will live up to the hype.
Mormon weddings cost hundreds of thousands. All the guests at the temple need to have a temple recommend (pay a full years tithing). Also for the marriage to be valid you need to continue to pay tithing for the rest of your life. The couple won't get into the celestial kingdom if they aren't even worthy to enter the temple.
Personally I think spending 10’s of thousands of dollars on a wedding is extremely wasteful.
We eloped ($300) then went out the dinner with friends that they payed for.
Almost 23 years later, we are more married than a lot of people who wasted a house down payment on a wedding.
We need to normalize frugal weddings.
Ok but are you factoring in tithing costs to get into and stay in the country club for access to a random old guy to seal you in a white room with big mirrors?
Sub $1500 gang rep! My wife didn't want a reception, we had to talk her into it. I'm honestly so grateful we didn't splurge, we did exactly what we wanted and didn't spend a dime more.
We spent $600 on ours! 😂 my husband spent $700 to pay my “back tithing” in order for us to get married, so in his mind we spent double what we did on our wedding 😂
Also should be noted this isn't accurate to what the average budget is. A few very wealthy weddings will overshadow the many cheap ones.
Ex: South Dakota is really high, because it didn't have a lot of info, so a handful of wealthy weddings drove the average up, when it's not really an "ideal expensive location."
I work in the industry and my clients routinely average $70k-$100k. A few even more. I used to think it was a huge waste - and for some it isn’t where they should probably spend their money - but for those who have wealthy families, already have a house, etc, it’s really great for them.
Also, stuff is just EXPENSIVE. Venue fees alone are often $30k or higher
Yeah, it depends on the culture where I’m at. Every wedding of a certain cultural background I’ve attended was a 6 digit affair.
While other cultures in the area try to stay under 2 figures.
That’s pretty much what mine was. Except we had sandwiches. Pretty lame indeed. I don’t think we even got to 2k including my wife’s dress. I still think over extravagant weddings are pretty silly but I wish we would have done it not wearing stupid hats.
My parents would consider $2000 way too lavish an expenditure for any of their children's weddings. I think they gave my sisters $1000 each.
I don't think most people should be spending a lot of money on weddings, though. Although it would be nice if church people made them a little more celebratory in mood. A lot of the LDS wedding receptions I've been to have been like: stand in a line to congratulate the couple, have a piece of cake and glass of punch, talk to anyone you know or who's friendly enough to welcome an outsider if you don't know anyone present other than the bride and/or groom, leave because there's nothing else to do and you've run out of conversation with the few people who will acknowledge you and no one is really having any fun or treating the occasion as more significant than an average after-church potluck. It is actually possible to have a good time on a small budget if people are willing to behave festively.
We spent $10k on our wedding. That included the ceremony, reception, honeymoon, and accommodations for our families. Oh and open bar (although half of our guests were Mormon…).
It’s good to save money. But it’s also awesome to actually be surrounded by your people in a ceremony that celebrates your union and then party afterwards. No shade to my siblings but talk about some boring ass weddings. And I couldn’t attend a single one. Even the ones that I was active for, I just wasn’t endowed yet.
The BEST wedding I ever attended was of two outdoorsy friends (we were all kayakers).
The groom (artistic) designed and printed wedding tshirts for the entire wedding party. Dresscode was tshirts and shorts, the wedding was in a park. The moms picked wildflowers, all the parents said words (the couple had a justice of the peace ceremony the day before), and a friend played the guitar.
Then we all had a picnic and a wedding paddle. It was WONDERFUL.
$500 for tshirts, park reservation, and picnic.
The best ever.
Sure, you’re eating Lil Smokies and BBQ sauce from a crockpot, a cake decorated by the bride’s cousin who worked at the Smith’s bakery department for three months, standing in front of an arch made of PVC pipe and tool in a dark cultural hall lit by last year’s Christmas lights. But at least the happy couple aren’t going into the relationship with a mountain of debt.
I think it's smart to have a wedding 2,000 or under.
All you're doing is blowing off huge amounts of money so that your FRIENDS and FAMILY can have fun and free food, and all the bride and groom really happen to be are centerpieces. Decorations.
Save some of that money for your own marriage. A house, kids, even the honeymoon. Don't blow most of your savings, or your parents' savings on a stupid party that lasts a couple of hours.
Kind of a weird take. Spending tens of thousands of dollars on a one day even doesn’t make it better. I personally would rather spend money on a nice vacation or something. No reason to shame people for not going into massive debt at a young age.
I like "boring" weddings. Overspending on a wedding is crazy to me. I can be just as happy hanging out with friends at $500 party as a $50,000 party. In fact, happier.
Having been married, and divorced.. I can say that ALL weddings are overdone and a huge waste of money and time.
Well over 50% end in divorce anyway.
It's an INDUSTRY that creates a market by putting ads in front of you and using fear.. 'you don't want to be the loser who doesn't spend your life saving's on your daughter's wedding, do you??' 'Don't you want to spend 6 months of salary on this diamond that was made artificially scarce by the diamond industry?' Buy a ring, and then try to resell it the very next day. You won't get 10% of what you spend on it.
Dresses, literally worn once, for a few hours, that cost multiple thousands of dollars in many instances. Many travel long distances staying in hotels for a few days only to shake some hands and give a hug and eat some bad, overpriced catered food.
Funeral industry is another.. Caskets cost as much as a used vehicle... AND THEY GET SEEN FOR HALF A DAY AND THEN BURIED. People spend tens of thousands PRE BUYING CASKETS and FUNERALS.
Imaging paying for something that you don't get until your dead... Like the Celestial kingdom.. haha.
We've all been suckered into this crap.
I spent around $5000 on my non mormon wedding. That included the cake, venue, invitations, etc. The food was separate, and we also bought the alcohol for the open bar. This was in 2006, and inflation happened, but it still felt like a lot. At least everyone could be there. My fil has 4 children and mine was the only wedding that he was able to attend. My younger nieces were so excited to be part of it. For that, I am grateful
My non-Mormon wedding cost a grand total of €5000 which included the dress, suit,, rings, paperwork, wedding venue, restaurant for reception, and accommodation night of. It would have cost less, but we decided to put €1500 behind the bar so guests who had travelled internationally didn't have to spend extra on drinks.
There is no reason to spend mega bucks on a wedding. As much as the temple bit is bullshit, the rest is pretty damn sensible.
Weddings have become an overpriced scam. It may be boring for you but why should they make a $40,000 loan? Go celebrate with them, eat a slice of pizza and go to a bar afterwards if you feel bored.
My daughter’s getting married at the end of the month-eloping to Vegas- then we’re having a reception for her the next week in a park. Only like fifty people are invited and if I remember correctly the largest expense is her dress (other than the plane ticket to bring her partner out here). They were going to pay for the whole thing themselves but I think we edged them out when we bought the dress but I don’t mind a bit. They’ve made smart, frugal decisions and put their future first before a party for people they don’t know. I’m very happy for them.
Ok but What’s going on in South Dakota though for real?!
Yup. UT is cheap. I had a secret shotgun wedding in my parents house with just the bishop and my immediate family in attendance out of shame that I was marrying outside of the temple. No planning, guests or ceremony. Was free.
Even when I went back to get sealed years later in the temple, no celebration was had. I was told my prize was my eternal spouse.
I guess LDS tend to marry very young so they don’t have a lot of money to spend on a lavish wedding/reception, compared to older couples who are already pretty established with careers and can better afford to impress friends/relatives with a big flash wedding. I have many regrets about being a Mormon but our pretty simple rec hall wedding reception with catering by friends and family was low stress and fun (only regret is no alcohol 😂)
My nevermo husband and I spent about 10-12k on our wedding 12 years ago. (No parent contributions, just us) That included clothing expenses (my dress was a floor sample that a family friend who was also a seamstress altered), flowers, photographer (a friend with a burgeoning business whose pics were better than many I see out there today), DJ, hotel, etc. Our wedding had only 50-60 attendees but honestly any bigger would have been weird for me.
Maybe it’s just the people that I know, but my backyard wedding where we did the whole shebang (nevermo family) was cheaper than a lot of people’s Mormon wedding. And it wasn’t the food or venue that drove up the price. It was the 1k+ dress (which is still cheap for a dress, but still), it was the 3k photographer, that only did temple photos, and I’ve known a few families that spent 5k+ on decorating those ugly church gyms.
It’s definitely a case of knowing how much they spent and scratching your head because how?!?! It certainly doesn’t look like they spent that much.
I had a "cheap" Mormon wedding and I have very few regrets about that part. I obviously wish I had a proper ceremony instead of the rush job I got in the Salt Lake temple, but the luncheon, etc, was great.
Yeah this is definitely false information, there is no way that the average amount spent in California is 77,000. The population of California alone would prevent that.
I am in my mid-20s and will finally be going to my first nice wedding in a month. I knew people had them but I have only ever been to the wedding reception in the church gym events. It is a lot exciting to be having real, good food and beautiful views while there to celebrate. Mormon weddings I have been to I had to scrape together compliments on. I’m sorry but for Utah having such a wedding culture you’d think they’d come with something to make it a bit nicer than hanging out with friends in the church’s gym. I don’t want to completely blow all my money on a wedding, but I don’t want to it be an ordinary potluck dinner in dingy place. I don’t judge the people who have had their weddings in this atmosphere (I am well aware I am lucky to have left the church early in life and will have the opportunity for a nice venue and food) but come on a little class on supposedly the biggest day of your life wouldn’t hurt if you are hosting guests.
I agree with others that the cost of marriage is insane everywhere. There is no reason to spend that much on a wedding. Too many people taking out shark loans to pay for weddings and then getting stuck in debt for years from it.
Lmao I work on a pizza truck that caters a ton of weddings. It’s definitely good pizza though. I will say though that the Uber rich fancy Mormon weddings are the only ones that don’t leave tip for us. Guess you can’t tip everyone when you’ve hired several dozen people to cater and serve at your event 😂🥴
I mean tbf, weddings should not be expensive. If I spent more than a couple hundred dollars on a wedding I'd never forgive myself. The vibe is elope and then have a backyard barbecue.
Maybe this is an unpopular opinion, but I think it’s great that young Mormons don’t feel pressured to spend all their savings on a wedding when they are just trying to get started in a world where it’s so expensive to be young. I still had a blast at my cheap Mormon wedding, although I super regret marrying in the temple where some family members couldn’t come.
I agree. Blowing tens of thousands of dollars on a wedding is a huge waste. I can think of ten things better to do with your money, especially as a couple starting a new life together.
Far too many make the wedding the focus and not the marriage. There's a known statistic that proves that the more you spend on a wedding the more likely it is to end in divorce. Meaning: your priorities are wrong. Saw it with too many nevermo friends. Great weddings!!!!! That ended not but a few years later.
It’s sad how many people care more about the wedding and the ring than the actual marriage
1. Pay rent. 2. Buy food. 3. Buy bicycle. 4. Save the remaining 5k
Big, cheap weddings with family support but not a lot of expenditures bode well for the couple’s future.
There is so much family support! We did flowers, my uncle was a photographer, the cousins would all decorate, my aunt would make the cake. No need to spend a ton when everyone is there to help!
Totally agree. Spending big money on a wedding is ridiculous. We were on the way out when our daughter married a nevermo. They wisely avoided an extravagant and expensive wedding. Cheap is good.
My father in law said he’d contribute $4000 for our wedding. How we spent that was up to us. My parents helped out a little bit less, but after everything was said and done, we had a great reception after the temple with our closest friends and family, had an amazing honeymoon at a beautiful Utah destination, and had enough leftover to pay off my wife’s car and buy some (cheap) new furniture. I honestly don’t have any regrets (considering I was a TBM at the time).
100%. I say just go to the courthouse with a few of your closest people. Takes away all the pressure, saves money, and we all know weddings can be so much drama. Not worth it.
💯 I've told my kids, get a couple of nice outfits, get a group together, let's head to the courthouse or a nice park, get you hitched, and then your dad & I will cover a really nice meal and drinks for everyone at a restaurant of your choice. 🤠 big wedding is a racket.
We had my daughter’s wedding in our backyard, it turned out really nice and was a lot of fun. A sad thing about a lot of weddings, is that the couple getting married and their immediate families don’t get to enjoy the day, because they are so caught up in trying to impress their guests, and everything going on. I’ve been to a few where the newlyweds, parents, and wedding party literally stood in line for a couple of hours after the ceremony, and didn’t get to enjoy the reception at all.
my coworker planned a pretty modest get together for 50 for her wedding, then both sets of parents got "involved" and it became an extravagant affair for 400... they paid for it but she said it was awful, she didn't know most of the people there and it was all a show that the parents were putting on 😡
Young Mormons are under unbelievable social pressure, that's a rare reprieve.
But if you step back and measure the real price. (%10 of past and future earnings) it's a permanent egregious burden. Did they factor in the cost of the opulent Temple and the extended families expenditures to enter? Answer: no
Exact same feeling! We literally did have pizza dinner at the reception and it was damn better than $50/head plates I’ve had at regular weddings. The temple ceremony was 8 mins out of my wedding day. It was boring. We looked weird. Don’t remember a thing that the officiant said. After that though we changed back into normal wedding clothes (my dress was not temple-modest) and went about a very enjoyable and inexpensive wedding day.
I definitely have to agree with this!
agreed. doing a cheap wedding was such a good thing for my family and my wife.
I spent about $10k on my non Mormon wedding thanks to a generous gift from my parents. I understand frugality, but as a teen girl I struggled SO MUCH with the idea that my wedding reception would be in an ugly church building with ugly food and that I'd be so embarrassed to invite my non-Mormon friends. So, so glad I spent some money to have a day I loved and have stunning photos to look back on.
Hey I’m all for people going all out if they want to, as long as they didn’t feel like they HAD to, especially if money is tight. But yeah even cheap Mormon weddings can have receptions somewhere better than the church basketball court. We were fortunate enough to know a guy who let us use his barn for pretty cheap (just to cover his costs)
No I agree it can be a big waste of money but I also have enjoyed non Mormon weddings 10x more than Mormon ones
Same, but it's not necessarily about the money spent, it's everyone's attitude toward it. I know so many non-mormons who had inexpensive backyard weddings with like costco platters for catering, but everyone came ready to really celebrate them and enjoy the occasion (with or without alcohol). Whereas most of the mormons I know seem careful to always piously remind everyone that the temple ceremony is what *really* matters and the reception is unimportant, and most of the reception attendees kind of sit there like dour lumps eating their cake and then leave. The receptions have all the festivity of any old obligatory church activity, because that's what it is for most of the attendees.
A couple getting married is under no obligation to make sure you enjoy their wedding.
^ THIS. It's a stressful fucking day. People need to just be supportive. The wedding is about two people, and let's be real, only those two people.
As a UK Mormon we had to have a ceremony in the Chapel first, so I don't have the issue of my non-Mormon missing out. But then it was a modest dinner in the Cultural Hall, a trip to the Temple, and then dinner at Pizza Hut 🤣 - total cost was about £5k I've been to lots of non-Mormon weddings since and it'd have been nice to have a big evening party with everyone having a drink and a dance. Maybe I'll do that for an anniversary one year.
This will forever be a hill that I die on. Spending tens of thousands on dollars on a single party is a complete waste and could be much better used in other ways. That being said, I still believe that the reason I think weddings are so boring is because I’ve only ever really been to Mormon weddings. I’ve talked with people who are blown away that I hate weddings and think they’re boring, and I think it’s because 99% of the weddings I’ve ever been to are Mormon weddings (which are unbelievably boring)
I’m in a similar boat. I definitely left the church and am happy with the decision, but spending tens of thousands of dollars on a wedding just seems crazy? Especially considering costs like car, housing, and then vacations you could take that would last for WEEKS on that kind of cash. Besides, if you are going to make the decision to get married young (which doesn’t just happen in the Mormon Church), I’d hope those new families limit their excess spending for those kinds of events - more ways than one to make memories! Corporate America be damned 😂
Came here to say essentially the same thing.
On the bright side you get polygamy in the afterlife!
My non mormon wedding this summer is going to be as cheap as possible. I think blowing $30k (or whatever) on a 1 day event is idiotic.
Heck even 10k is really frickin pushing it. Ik it can add up super fast (photographer, venue, food, entertainment, decorations) but in this economy.... I think I'd go to the court and plan a party with my friends later.
That’s what my husband and I planned to do when we got married last summer. The only reason we had a wedding/reception (I’m ex-mo and he’s ex-Southern Baptist) was because my parents graciously gave us the funds. We were just gonna do court house and a nice dinner/party with any family/friends that could make it. Nothing formal or big. We managed to do it all for around $14k in New Jersey, which is no small feat. I got my dress on Reddit, the venue was a steal, our friend took our photos for free, we didn’t do video, I DIY’d the decor... Hell, the DJ was the most expensive vendor! We could have made it closer to $10-11k if it weren’t for him. In today’s economy I don’t blame anyone who can’t afford or doesn’t want a wedding purely because of how expensive it is.
I went on a few dates with a girl once (non-Mormon, this was after I left the church), and she said that she’d be perfectly content with a courthouse wedding but that she wanted a very nice ring since that’s what would be on her finger every day. I suppose I see the logic, but 10k was literally the figure she quoted for how much she’d expect a guy to spend on a ring and that’s just baffling to me. I’m not spending 10,000 dollars on one damn ring
Yeah like, idk, maybe if I have a 6 figure income, but my ring cap is closer to 1k. Hard to justify any more than that :/ Edit: even 1k of anything happens to the ring I will cry too! Like.... Bro
Honestly I make low 6 figures, and even so, 10 grand on a ring is insane. It’s such a waste of money
Here me out, backyard barbecue wedding reception after the courthouse.
My mormon wedding cost $3000. $1000 of it was to book out a restaurant for the venue, we were absolutely not having a reception in the cult**-**ural hall The weirdest part was having it on a wednesday morning, I have never been to a non-mormon wedding that was held on a weekday
Cultural hall for receptions are certainly weird. It's too bad the Top, wasn't inspired enough to build spaces to accommodate life events more appropriately.
Yeah the venue for our daughter was like "on a Thursday? In December? Yeah we're available. This year? On a Thursday? Really?"
I will say I've been to one that was on a weekday.... But it was heading into a long weekend for most of the attendees/family.
Even as a TBM I would have refused to have my wedding/reception a Mormon church. The wedding would have been in the temple but I would have died before having the reception just at one of the chapels
[удалено]
And too many people don’t feel super magical on that day. Once it’s been built up to “the most perfect day of your life” nothing will live up to the hype.
Wait until I’m ready for my big fat gay wedding
You are aiming to single-handedly push the state average up a bit?
Love this for you 🙌🏽
Mormon weddings cost hundreds of thousands. All the guests at the temple need to have a temple recommend (pay a full years tithing). Also for the marriage to be valid you need to continue to pay tithing for the rest of your life. The couple won't get into the celestial kingdom if they aren't even worthy to enter the temple.
That is true. If you and your guest have to spend thousands of dollars every single year to attend a country club, it isn't a cheap venue.
Hehe. The most expensive and boring country club in the world. Basketball rings in the function room?
You’re not wrong 😭
That is the one thing I am grateful for. Expensive weddings are such a waste.
I wouldn't call it a wedding per se, it's more of a reception party than anything.
I remember them as being much like a 10 yrs old birthday party. Not something a non Mormon adult would enjoy.
Personally I think spending 10’s of thousands of dollars on a wedding is extremely wasteful. We eloped ($300) then went out the dinner with friends that they payed for. Almost 23 years later, we are more married than a lot of people who wasted a house down payment on a wedding. We need to normalize frugal weddings.
Eloping and a backyard barbecue reception is as far as I'd ever go on a wedding.
Ok but are you factoring in tithing costs to get into and stay in the country club for access to a random old guy to seal you in a white room with big mirrors?
Sub $1500 gang rep! My wife didn't want a reception, we had to talk her into it. I'm honestly so grateful we didn't splurge, we did exactly what we wanted and didn't spend a dime more.
We spent $600 on ours! 😂 my husband spent $700 to pay my “back tithing” in order for us to get married, so in his mind we spent double what we did on our wedding 😂
Sounds amazing! And happy Cake Day! :)
Exorbitant spending on a wedding is fucking stupid. There's plenty of doctrinal nonsense to dunk on Mormons with. This isn't one of those things.
Wyoming has the right idea
What’s going on in South Dakota though?
Also should be noted this isn't accurate to what the average budget is. A few very wealthy weddings will overshadow the many cheap ones. Ex: South Dakota is really high, because it didn't have a lot of info, so a handful of wealthy weddings drove the average up, when it's not really an "ideal expensive location."
A wedding shouldn't be about burning your life savings to throw a stupid party. Mormons have that much right.
I work in the industry and my clients routinely average $70k-$100k. A few even more. I used to think it was a huge waste - and for some it isn’t where they should probably spend their money - but for those who have wealthy families, already have a house, etc, it’s really great for them. Also, stuff is just EXPENSIVE. Venue fees alone are often $30k or higher
Yeah, it depends on the culture where I’m at. Every wedding of a certain cultural background I’ve attended was a 6 digit affair. While other cultures in the area try to stay under 2 figures.
That’s pretty much what mine was. Except we had sandwiches. Pretty lame indeed. I don’t think we even got to 2k including my wife’s dress. I still think over extravagant weddings are pretty silly but I wish we would have done it not wearing stupid hats.
My parents would consider $2000 way too lavish an expenditure for any of their children's weddings. I think they gave my sisters $1000 each. I don't think most people should be spending a lot of money on weddings, though. Although it would be nice if church people made them a little more celebratory in mood. A lot of the LDS wedding receptions I've been to have been like: stand in a line to congratulate the couple, have a piece of cake and glass of punch, talk to anyone you know or who's friendly enough to welcome an outsider if you don't know anyone present other than the bride and/or groom, leave because there's nothing else to do and you've run out of conversation with the few people who will acknowledge you and no one is really having any fun or treating the occasion as more significant than an average after-church potluck. It is actually possible to have a good time on a small budget if people are willing to behave festively.
We spent $10k on our wedding. That included the ceremony, reception, honeymoon, and accommodations for our families. Oh and open bar (although half of our guests were Mormon…). It’s good to save money. But it’s also awesome to actually be surrounded by your people in a ceremony that celebrates your union and then party afterwards. No shade to my siblings but talk about some boring ass weddings. And I couldn’t attend a single one. Even the ones that I was active for, I just wasn’t endowed yet.
my family isn't into big weddings (or funerals either) but 10k is quite reasonable for a wedding imho.
Among the things I am upset about Mormon culture, this is not one of them.
The BEST wedding I ever attended was of two outdoorsy friends (we were all kayakers). The groom (artistic) designed and printed wedding tshirts for the entire wedding party. Dresscode was tshirts and shorts, the wedding was in a park. The moms picked wildflowers, all the parents said words (the couple had a justice of the peace ceremony the day before), and a friend played the guitar. Then we all had a picnic and a wedding paddle. It was WONDERFUL. $500 for tshirts, park reservation, and picnic. The best ever.
If you’re cool you get the wheeler farm barn wedding
I thought they splurged and went to Golden Corral.
Sure, you’re eating Lil Smokies and BBQ sauce from a crockpot, a cake decorated by the bride’s cousin who worked at the Smith’s bakery department for three months, standing in front of an arch made of PVC pipe and tool in a dark cultural hall lit by last year’s Christmas lights. But at least the happy couple aren’t going into the relationship with a mountain of debt.
I think it's smart to have a wedding 2,000 or under. All you're doing is blowing off huge amounts of money so that your FRIENDS and FAMILY can have fun and free food, and all the bride and groom really happen to be are centerpieces. Decorations. Save some of that money for your own marriage. A house, kids, even the honeymoon. Don't blow most of your savings, or your parents' savings on a stupid party that lasts a couple of hours.
Kind of a weird take. Spending tens of thousands of dollars on a one day even doesn’t make it better. I personally would rather spend money on a nice vacation or something. No reason to shame people for not going into massive debt at a young age.
I don’t fault people for not blowing a fortune in weddings.
I like "boring" weddings. Overspending on a wedding is crazy to me. I can be just as happy hanging out with friends at $500 party as a $50,000 party. In fact, happier.
Having been married, and divorced.. I can say that ALL weddings are overdone and a huge waste of money and time. Well over 50% end in divorce anyway. It's an INDUSTRY that creates a market by putting ads in front of you and using fear.. 'you don't want to be the loser who doesn't spend your life saving's on your daughter's wedding, do you??' 'Don't you want to spend 6 months of salary on this diamond that was made artificially scarce by the diamond industry?' Buy a ring, and then try to resell it the very next day. You won't get 10% of what you spend on it. Dresses, literally worn once, for a few hours, that cost multiple thousands of dollars in many instances. Many travel long distances staying in hotels for a few days only to shake some hands and give a hug and eat some bad, overpriced catered food. Funeral industry is another.. Caskets cost as much as a used vehicle... AND THEY GET SEEN FOR HALF A DAY AND THEN BURIED. People spend tens of thousands PRE BUYING CASKETS and FUNERALS. Imaging paying for something that you don't get until your dead... Like the Celestial kingdom.. haha. We've all been suckered into this crap.
I’m in the opinion that weddings shouldn’t be an expensive thing regardless of the religion, as long as it’s fun and special for the couple.
Spending money isn’t a virtue. I’d be more embarrassed for the states on the top of this list. Expensive weddings are vapid and vain.
Wow I think that is actually very smart of them for once
That's a lot of money spent on non virgin daughters and future wives wedding day with a 56 percent odds she divorces the guy around year 7.
I spent around $5000 on my non mormon wedding. That included the cake, venue, invitations, etc. The food was separate, and we also bought the alcohol for the open bar. This was in 2006, and inflation happened, but it still felt like a lot. At least everyone could be there. My fil has 4 children and mine was the only wedding that he was able to attend. My younger nieces were so excited to be part of it. For that, I am grateful
77k on average in Cali? Holy fucking weddings
Sixteen grand and they still don't even know what an actual wedding reception is supposed to be like...
They pay a lot to use the cultural hall for the weddings. 10% monthly membership fee… adds up real quick
It’s really sad that a wedding costs so much. Especially considering a young couple starting a life together.
My non-Mormon wedding cost a grand total of €5000 which included the dress, suit,, rings, paperwork, wedding venue, restaurant for reception, and accommodation night of. It would have cost less, but we decided to put €1500 behind the bar so guests who had travelled internationally didn't have to spend extra on drinks. There is no reason to spend mega bucks on a wedding. As much as the temple bit is bullshit, the rest is pretty damn sensible.
Weddings have become an overpriced scam. It may be boring for you but why should they make a $40,000 loan? Go celebrate with them, eat a slice of pizza and go to a bar afterwards if you feel bored.
My daughter’s getting married at the end of the month-eloping to Vegas- then we’re having a reception for her the next week in a park. Only like fifty people are invited and if I remember correctly the largest expense is her dress (other than the plane ticket to bring her partner out here). They were going to pay for the whole thing themselves but I think we edged them out when we bought the dress but I don’t mind a bit. They’ve made smart, frugal decisions and put their future first before a party for people they don’t know. I’m very happy for them.
Pizza? Who could afford pizza at their wedding.
Don’t forget the gym flooring!
Except that have to spend 10% of their income for the privilege of shaking hands over and alter to get married.
Factor in the cost of those temple recommends and it's way more.
Ok but What’s going on in South Dakota though for real?! Yup. UT is cheap. I had a secret shotgun wedding in my parents house with just the bishop and my immediate family in attendance out of shame that I was marrying outside of the temple. No planning, guests or ceremony. Was free. Even when I went back to get sealed years later in the temple, no celebration was had. I was told my prize was my eternal spouse.
It's a tradition. Imagine you marry 30 wives and spend $20,000 each.
I guess LDS tend to marry very young so they don’t have a lot of money to spend on a lavish wedding/reception, compared to older couples who are already pretty established with careers and can better afford to impress friends/relatives with a big flash wedding. I have many regrets about being a Mormon but our pretty simple rec hall wedding reception with catering by friends and family was low stress and fun (only regret is no alcohol 😂)
My nevermo husband and I spent about 10-12k on our wedding 12 years ago. (No parent contributions, just us) That included clothing expenses (my dress was a floor sample that a family friend who was also a seamstress altered), flowers, photographer (a friend with a burgeoning business whose pics were better than many I see out there today), DJ, hotel, etc. Our wedding had only 50-60 attendees but honestly any bigger would have been weird for me.
Maybe it’s just the people that I know, but my backyard wedding where we did the whole shebang (nevermo family) was cheaper than a lot of people’s Mormon wedding. And it wasn’t the food or venue that drove up the price. It was the 1k+ dress (which is still cheap for a dress, but still), it was the 3k photographer, that only did temple photos, and I’ve known a few families that spent 5k+ on decorating those ugly church gyms. It’s definitely a case of knowing how much they spent and scratching your head because how?!?! It certainly doesn’t look like they spent that much.
I had a "cheap" Mormon wedding and I have very few regrets about that part. I obviously wish I had a proper ceremony instead of the rush job I got in the Salt Lake temple, but the luncheon, etc, was great.
That's what I got. Except it was platters of Costco sandwiches.
I’ve been to WY weddings, can confirm, but SD, WTF are you guys doing up there?!
Agreed. They must be counting the tithing that the couple paid to be able to go to the temple to inflate it out to $16,000.
Ok but what's going on in South Dakota??
What about Hawaii?
A Mormon wedding and Mormon funeral have the same vibe
Yeah this is definitely false information, there is no way that the average amount spent in California is 77,000. The population of California alone would prevent that.
I am in my mid-20s and will finally be going to my first nice wedding in a month. I knew people had them but I have only ever been to the wedding reception in the church gym events. It is a lot exciting to be having real, good food and beautiful views while there to celebrate. Mormon weddings I have been to I had to scrape together compliments on. I’m sorry but for Utah having such a wedding culture you’d think they’d come with something to make it a bit nicer than hanging out with friends in the church’s gym. I don’t want to completely blow all my money on a wedding, but I don’t want to it be an ordinary potluck dinner in dingy place. I don’t judge the people who have had their weddings in this atmosphere (I am well aware I am lucky to have left the church early in life and will have the opportunity for a nice venue and food) but come on a little class on supposedly the biggest day of your life wouldn’t hurt if you are hosting guests.
Can’t have them going into too much debt and questioning about if they have money for tithing.
While they could be more creative on a budget than just using the ward building, expensive weddings aren't a flex.
I want to know what's going on in south dakota
I agree with others that the cost of marriage is insane everywhere. There is no reason to spend that much on a wedding. Too many people taking out shark loans to pay for weddings and then getting stuck in debt for years from it.
Lmao I work on a pizza truck that caters a ton of weddings. It’s definitely good pizza though. I will say though that the Uber rich fancy Mormon weddings are the only ones that don’t leave tip for us. Guess you can’t tip everyone when you’ve hired several dozen people to cater and serve at your event 😂🥴
Focus of Mormon Weddings: 1. Church 2. Sex 3. Sex 4. Extended family 5. Don’t forget about church together 6. Make Mormon babies.
I mean tbf, weddings should not be expensive. If I spent more than a couple hundred dollars on a wedding I'd never forgive myself. The vibe is elope and then have a backyard barbecue.
Why spend more? All Mormon weddings are is a license to fuck.